Sorry it's been a while since the last Pokemon Top Ten list.
Generation III is probably the generation that influenced me the most and probably the one dearest to my heart. On one hand, I'm young enough to not really know much and still tackled the Pokemon games with a touch of wonder as holy shit, the graphics update from the Game Boy Color to the Game Boy Advanced truly befuddled my weak little mind. On the other hand, I'm old enough to really figure out a lot of the puzzle solving and appreciate the story more than just 'Yay Team Rocket is evil I beat them woo hoo'. The fact that everyone at school played Generation III was a really cool experience for me as well, and after missing out on a lot of Generation II (I played Crystal up until the third or fourth gym and that's it, and it's not until after Generation III that I completed Generation II), its a very welcome returning generation for me. And I played through a
lot of Generation III games, with very fond memories of them. Generation III was also the only generation that I really got crazy into the Pokemon manga and TCG, and that totally helped me be a big pokemon geek.
Bear in mind, there are a lot of Pokemon I absolutely
love from the Hoenn region, so, yeah, selecting a mere 10 is far more difficult than Generation I.
#10 Metagross
Metagross is... what the fuck is Metagross? It's a giant spider-crab robot with gigantic clawed limbs and a gigantic metal X on its face, it is all magnetic and computer-y. It has one of the coolest evolution lines where each successive evolution gains more and more Beldums, and it just looks cool in both the anime and manga. It's difficult as hell to raise a Metagross because of the huge EXP cost and the fact that Beldum is a piece of shit that can only use Take Down, but boy, Metagross is awesome. He's the champion Steven's signature Pokemon, his appearances in the cartoons always portrayed him as this monstrous murdering monster... he just looks cool, and I love robots and I love spiders. Does it make sense that he's part-Psychic? I don't know, but I didn't particularly care -- he was cool, he's just so weird, and he's absolutely awesome. Just look at that image! Metagross just looks like it's going to kick your ass, it's going to stand in front of you, with that awesome look and those muscly metal claw-legs, and it's going to
fuck you up. Yeah. Metagross is awesome, so awesome that
Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire made a Shiny, mega-evolving Beldum as the event distribution Pokemon and holy shit, that dude was awesome. The only thing cooler than Metagross is a shiny Metagross, all silver with a gold X, and man. I don't know what to say, really. I owned a shiny holo Metagross EX card as a kid, and I loved him partially thanks to that.
#9 Blaziken
KUNG FU FIRE CHICKEN! Blaziken was my starter on Pokemon Ruby, and he's awesome. Going from a cute little Torchic to the horrendously ugly Combusken, and finally bursting out as this chicken-man... how can you make a chicken-man awesome? Well, Nintendo did it somehow. I wasn't totally sold on the weird hair-things that extended from the white upper body, but the rest of Blaziken is awesome. From the big flare-pants that wreath themselves with fire when she kicks your enemies' ass, to the chicken-claws as hands that have fire burst out from the wrists when she's fighting, and the fact that Blaziken is just a monstrous beast in the battlefield... yeah, I really like Blaziken. She's not the starter I picked most of the time because, well, you'll see later on, but Blaziken still holds a pretty dear spot in my heart, going around Blaze Kicking everything in the face, taking names and murdering anything in its path. Sadly Blaziken's uniqueness as a fire starter that's also part fighting is diminished a fair bit by Infernape and Emboar being more or less the same thing as Blaziken, but hey, that doesn't stop Blaziken from being visually the coolest out of the three. Blaziken's one of those designs that kind of looks complicated, but still looks good because it has a great, cohesive colour scheme.
#8 Sableye
Oh my, Generation 3 had so many cool ghost types, and the first generation that actually expanded on the Ghost-type. The first generation only had the Gastly line, the second generation had only Misdreavus... it's not until Generation 3 that they made a lot more Ghost-types. We have the absolutely creepy descriptions of the cyclops/Japanese-yokai Dusclops being emotionless as he uses his creepy giant hands to draw in enemies into its eye, into a freaking black hole from which there is no escape. We've got Banette, who is that doll you threw away as a kid, come back as a voodoo doll all pissed off and filled with grudges for the kid who threw it away. We've got Shedinja, who's the reanimated zombie-angel of a discarded Nincada's shell while the main body goes on as a Ninjask, able to suck in the soul of anyone that looks into the hole on its back. Then there's Sableye. Sableye's this weird demonic imp made up of shadows that live in the Granite Cave. It's got a sleek design, with eyes made up of gems, and that's its whole gimmick -- it's a ghostly imp that goes around eating diamonds and gems, which is why they grew on his body. And it's got the creepiest fanged smile, and its movements in anime and the 3D games makes it just look so cool and shifty and shit. Sableye's biggest appeal to me, however, was the weird typing. Dark and Ghost? It's a type that (back then) didn't have any weaknesses, and while Sableye himself isn't the strongest or most defensive of Pokemon with merely standard stats, a combination of his cool design, cool typing and being a relatively encountered early in the game makes me use the dude as a member in a fair amount of my playthroughs of Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald. Ultimately Sableye isn't the best fighter and falls short of other more powerful Pokemon you encounter down the line, but damn if he isn't a cool-looking imp bastard.
#7 Absol
Absol is just a magnificently cool motherfucker. He's this dark-type... demon beast that has this cool yin-yang deal to him, only having two main colours. Black and white. It's got some fashionable asymmetry with its head, with a huge head-mounted sickle on the right side of its head with which it uses to launch powerful attacks -- the Absol in
Jirachi the Wish-Maker is probably the reason I love the dude so much, and just launching those blasts of wind sickle things is just awesome. But Absol isn't just a cool-looking Pokemon, it's backstory is awesome as well. Absol always shows up any time a disaster is about to occur, and it's a nice little way to both acknowledge the Chinese/Japanese mythology that Absol is based on, while adding to the Pokemon world's own mysteries and superstitions. It's just a Pokemon that kind of gives an aura of paranoia, and while Absol doesn't play a big role in the games, in the comics and anime Absol's doom-bringing superstitions is milked for what it's worth. Is it the mysterious monster that brings the disasters? Is it a reaper, waiting to claim the souls of those slain by the earthquakes and volcanoes? Is it a misunderstood soul, trying to warn others while being driven out because humans only know him as an omen of destruction? It's a cool design, it's a cool Pokemon, and holy shit I actually flipped out a little when I first encountered him. He's a pretty powerful (if fragile) Dark-type Pokemon, too, so I've used my share of Absols over my playthroughs of Generation III.
#6 Deoxys
Back in the day, there aren't a lot of alternate forms of Pokemon. Beginning from Generation 4 and 5 basically every other legendary Pokemon worth its salt has an additional transformation form that allows it to look cooler with stat boosts or whatever. But back in the earlier generations, such a concept was alien. Ditto and Castform are the only ones that can really transform, and even then their transformation effects are temporary in the battle, depending on the enemy Pokemon and the weather respectively. Deoxys? Deoxys was such a weird anomaly. He's a pure psychic type, with a weird design that's both humanoid an alien, and depending on the game you have him in, he transforms into a different form. And the forms are very well designed, too. The normal form is just... well, humanoid, either having human-esque hands or blunt tentacles. The attack form has spikes on its head, spikes for legs, spiky tentacles, the defense form is squat, has an armoured chest, an flat dome-shaped tentacles, the speed form has an elongated head, single tentacles and looks kind of weird. And Deoxys is weird because... he's an alien. He's a space virus exposed to some space radiation, giving birth to his strange powerful shape-shifting monster. And yet he's just mostly misunderstood, in his major roles in the
Destiny Deoxys movie and the Firered/Leafgreen saga of the manga having him be this absolute destructive monster that's just misunderstood and trying to search for companionship. Deoxys is just this awesome, monstrous beast that the remakes of Generation III elevated him from being an event-exclusive Pokemon to being part of the storyline, having the players encounter Deoxys in a post-game quest where we go to space, intercept a meteor and fight Deoxys. Because he's awesome and Nintendo wants everyone to experience his awesomeness.
Deoxys is just a very cool design, with orange and teal being a pretty awesome colour scheme, the crystal on its chest being weirdly alien and inorganic, his face looking awesome, his psychic typing and sheer power making it a worthy opponent for even the likes of Mewtwo and Arceus. It's also based on DNA with its double-helix arms, and the fact that it takes its name from what DNA stands for (
deoxyribonucleic acid) is a nice educational thing that made me memorizing that particular acronym a breeze during high school.
#5 Kyogre
I played mainly Pokemon: Sapphire before Emerald came out, and, well, Kyogre was the star Pokemon there. And despite being a big dinosaur lover, for whatever reason I really, really loved Kyogre a lot more. He's just this giant whale with weird neon signs on its body, two giant flappy flippers, a badass expression on its face, and its mere presence causes storms to be summoned, giant floods to appear and generally is this monumental force of devastation. I was so much more impressed with the Kyogre chapters of
Pokemon Adventures and living in a location that is frequently subjected to the effects of floods, I just have so much respect for the sheer destruction that a force of nature like Kyogre embodies. I'm also a big lover for water-types and marine life in real-life, so Kyogre's just this awesome ancient titanic beast from the depths of history, brought back to life and just causing all sorts of chaos. And to be honest, with Hoenn having so much water (hee hee), being found in the bottom of the ocean and Sootoopolis being literally surrounded with water, Kyogre causing devastation there makes so much more sense, isn't it? Kyogre just looks so absolutely awesome.
Alpha Sapphire milks this out for what it's worth with some amazing cinematics with Kyogre bursting out of the oceans and whatnot. And for some absolutely awesome Groudon vs Kyogre goodness, go and hunt down the Mega Evolution special. I absolutely love Groudon and Kyogre, but Kyogre just wins out simply by being the one I actually used a lot as a kid. And holy shit, Kyogre's Water Spouts and Ice Beams and Blizzards and simply being this awesome water beast just makes it so much more awesome. I'm not that big of a fan of Primal Kyogre because of the weird yellow highlights and the strange glowing yellow yolk thing within the main body, but normal Kyogre is such a cool-looking and well-designed beast.
#4 Milotic
Of course, the only aquatic beast that's more majestic than the king of the oceans himself is Milotic. One of my biggest peeves with
Alpha Sapphire is making catching Feebas so easy, and modern games make Feebas's evolution into Milotic a simple 'trade with item' affair. Back then having a Milotic was a sign of pride, and not only because Milotic is such a beautiful rainbow-eel beast that looks like something out of a myth. No, it's because catching a Feebas is horrifyingly hard, with the fucker only showing up as a 25-50% encounter on
five spots that change every day on a long, long river. It's a horrendous task just to encounter a Feebas, and Feebas is basically a Magikarp that can learn TMs. It's ugly and useless, and to evolve it you must... max out its beauty stats with Pokeblocks, upon which it will transform into the gorgeous Milotic. I really wished Milotic would be more powerful, but it's just this defensive version of Gyarados, albeit hitting quite hard with Ice Beams and Surfs.... but I don't care. Milotic is a beautiful, beautiful beast whose transformation from a shitty Feebas feels so much more of an accomplishment compared to raising a Magikarp to Gyarados, and just look at her! From the splendidly designed tail section with the alternating red-blue scales, to the sleekness of its eel body, it's a beautiful, beautiful beast. Milotic is just awesome-looking, an awesome beast in battle... I'm just sad that the poor lady is left a bit on the wayside in Generation VI. She would have been a great candidate for receiving the Fairy-type to make her more effective in battle, or, failing that, getting a Mega Evolution. Gyarados, her offensive counterpart, got one, why didn't Milotic? Alas, that wasn't the case. Then came
Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire, which gave like nearly everyone from Hoenn new Mega Evolutions. But poor Milotic was once again left in the wayside. And I'm sad. That doesn't stop me from using Milotic as one of my main six Pokemon in
Alpha Sapphire, though.
Before we get to the top three, which honestly can easily swap places depending on how I feel at that day, let's go through several honourable mentions:
- Sceptile: I actually played through Emerald once with a Sceptile, it's not that I hate the dude -- I love Sceptile. He's a lithe leaf-dinosaur with leaf-blades! But where Blaziken and Swampert are monstrous dual-typed powerhouses, Sceptile is just a rather boring Grass-type without having much going on for him. I really hoped Sceptile would be Grass/Dark, considering Treecko and Grovyle learns Pursuit and Faint Attack on levels that Combusken and Marshtomp learns Double Kick and Mud Shot, but alas, it's not meant to be.
- Groudon: I like Kyogre so much more than Groudon, but it's a giant lava dinosaur with armour plates, spikes and a red-and-black colour scheme. How can you not love Groudon?
- Mightyena: The most impressive of the final evolutions of the early-game mammals, I think, is Mightyena. Mightyenas are honestly quite viable too, being pure Dark and later generations giving them access to the elemental fangs. Plus it's a black-coloured wolf-hyena. I love dogs, and I love Mightyena.
- Lotad: He's just so weirdly dumb-looking, yet I love Lotad. He's Grass/Water, a rather unique typing back then. I just loved his derpy-looking design. Not so much Lombre and Ludicolo, but I really liked Lotad.
- Breloom: Who knew that frowny little mushroom I caught as an uncommon encounter in Petalburg forest evolves into this... kung fu mushroom? Breloom is so underrated. Yeah, she's part grass, but Grass/Fighting is awesome, Breloom has an unexpectedly wide range of moves and hits hard and fast. I had a Breloom in several of my Hoenn runthroughs and they're awesome.
- Shedinja: Shedinja is a thing that keeps popping up in my party. The idea of Nincada splitting into two Pokemon upon evolution, something that's supposed to represent a cicada larva molting, has always appealed to me, and Bug/Ghost? Immunity to all non-effective moves? Shedinja is ultimately too fragile to be actually used properly, but I've had my Shedinjas put in some unexpected work for me.
- Aggron, Sharpedo, Flygon & Salamence All very cool-looking final-stage Pokemon that show that, hey, Pokemon do know their stuff when designing cool-looking shit!
- Altaria: Altaria is another one I really loved. She looks harmless, being a literal blob of fluff with bird features, but man, she really pulls her weight. She's part dragon, for fuck's sake, and she will fuck up anything that looks her funny. Altarias have almost always been my flier of Hoenn when I can't find a Skarmory, and both of them always put in great work.
- Cradily: An utterly exotic creature turned into a Pokemon, Cradily's insanely cool prehistoric polyp-coral-flower thing and his weird 'fake eyes' thing, plus him being the most insanely hard thing to kill in Steven's team (forget that Metagross -- any old Fire type can murder it -- Cradily nearly damn well wiped my team multiple times) and I have gained an inordinate respect for this dick-flower.
- Manectric: The only real Electric-type I use in Hoenn, Manectric's a cool design and a cool colour scheme. Shame about his mega.
- Banette & Dusclops: Very creepy ghost types that show that despite not making overtly scary designs, Pokemon can still make some spooky things. Banette is that doll you threw away, reanimated by ghostly magic and returned to life, with creepy zippers and shit. Dusclops is an inhuman cyclopean thing with giant arms that has a miniature black hole that will suck you into nothingness.
- Jirachi: I love Jirachi! He's probably my favourite of the Pixie Legendary Pokemon that isn't Celebi. I loved his design, I loved his lore of granting a wish every 1000 years, I liked his movie enough, and while his Psychic/Steel typing doesn't make a lick of sense, why not?
#3 Gardevoir
I generally hate humanoid Pokemon. Honestly, from the first generation, I can only say that I really like Alakazam and Mewtwo among the obviously-humanoid ones. But Gardevoir? Gardevoir is awesome. She's just this graceful fairy in a dress, inexplicably with a dagger jutting out of her heart, and she is like your guardian angel, being fiercely loyal to its trainer. It's got a great design, too, with white and green complimenting each other well, the red highlights being a nice little complement to this ghostly lady, and the shape of her 'hair' piece giving her this otherworldly fairy/angelic look. She's a powerful offensive monster whose original pre-evolved form, Ralts, is a horrendously rare encounter in the early routes before Petalburg City, and I always make it a point to get a Ralts in any non-Nuzlocke playthrough of a Generation 3 game. Ralts, Kirlia and Gardevoir is one of my favourite lines in Generation 3, and has always been the most powerful Pokemon in my party next to my starter. Between launching Psychics and Shadow Balls and the odd Thunderbolt or two, Gardevoir is just a fragile cannon that takes down enemies like it ain't even a problem. She looks elegant yet powerful, the definition of a mage-like character. Her backstory as someone who will unleash her full force, creating black holes and warping reality, if anyone harms her trainer, is just awesome.
But of course she's infamous in the fandom for being the Pokemon that sick hentai artists like to draw, and you can't say "I like Gardevoir" without the inevitable connotations to that sick side of the fandom. Yeaaah. That's disgusting, honestly. Gardevoir is more graceful and elegant than sexualized (Jynx and Lopunny are the only Pokemon that I would say are guilty of that), and, I dunno, half of my Gardevoir are dudes so...
#2 Swampert
DO U LIK MUDKIPS? Well, I do! I really do. Mudkip is the definition of being derpy and cute at the same time, and it evolves to this powerhouse, Swampert. You'd think I would be attracted to the dinosaurian Sceptile or the kung fu chicken Blaziken, but I have no idea what drew me to Swampert that he's
the third-generation starter for me. I love Blaziken and Sceptile is cool, but Swampert is just a big boss that just wrecks everything it his path (that isn't a grass type). He's just a powerhouse that tanks through everything with Earthquakes, Muddy Waters and Waterfalls, he just looks cool without being 'obviously' cool and sleek. He looks like he can take a pounding while giving it back (
Mega Swampert, released 10 years later, can beat up your ass so much more than he can). I don't know. I really loved Swampert. Maybe it's because it's Ruby's starting Pokemon in the Manga, I don't remember if I picked Mudkip thanks to that, but Swampert is awesome. I just love the Water/Ground mud monster concept, and having him look so much badass than Quagsire makes me really love him.
I don't know what more I can say. Swampert is just my earthquake-generatic, flood-summoning machine, and he's going to wreck everything in its path. And if a grass type shows up? ICE PUNCH mother fuckers! Sadly in competitive play Swampert isn't very good, but the fuck do I care? He's a bro and he's awesome.
#1 Rayquaza
Rayquaza is just such a cool-looking design. He's a green Chinese dragon with spiky armour-like horns, these red and yellow runes running down its majestic body, two arms, and just looks majestic. And it's an absolute beast that can end both Groudon and Kyogre, in the games, the manga and the anime -- Rayquaza's arrival is a signal of plot escalation, he's just this badass monster that sleeps atop the mysterious Sky Pillar, the god of the skies to counter Groudon's land and Kyogre's seas. It eats ozone, never deigning to descend to the ground, and really carries an aura of majesty from both his design and backstory. Rayquaza just embodies everything that's awesome about Asian mythology, living high in the sky untouched by mankind, descending only when Groudon and Kyogre are fucking shit up. He's just a very cool design that looks very powerful and complex, while still not degenerating to a horrifying mess like White Kyurem or Dialga.
And, holy shit, it's a powerhouse. OUTRAGE TILL YOU DIE THEN OUTRAGE AGAIN is a very excellent tactic to use with Rayquaza and he can literally wipe out the entire Elite Four single-handedly. He's the star Pokemon in
Pokemon Emerald, he's very connected to the plot in
Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire, he received a Mega Evolution that's so broken that nothing that came before him can even
hope to compete with him, he's this awesome Dragon/Flying god of the skies that causes devastation with everything he does.
______________________________________________________________________________
And here are my five least favourite:
#5 Spinda
Spinda's just annoying. I get that the concept of spots that are never alike is a cool enough gimmick and testament to the power of the GBA hardware, but must it be so useless? Spinda is absolutely useless in battle, being a boring Normal-type with lackluster moves, and they are such pests in the ash-filled route leading to Fallarbor, popping up literally every two steps while you're trying to hunt down a Skarmory.
#4 Exploud
Exploud's just ugly. I'm not sure why so many people like Exploud out there... Whismur is cute, Loudred is... okay... but Exploud make me wince when I first saw him. He's just this ugly thing with a horrifying face and mouth, and while Golbat and Loudred look decent with a body that's 90% mouth, a combination of his ugly eyes, weird stance and those strange trumpet tails just make me dislike Exploud. It's not a strong dislike like how I hate, say, Throh, Sawk or Jynx, but I still kind of dislike Exploud.
#3 Plusle & Minun
My hatred of these two Pika-clones have diminished a lot, but compared to later efforts, Plusle and Minun just... screamed 'lack of effort'. Let's just take Pikachu, slim him up a little, add a plus-and-minus gimmick to them so we can sell double the plushies and call it a day. The two had the most stupid (back then signature) Abilities, too, Plus and Minus, which increased each other's power in combat... which is dumb -- why would you carry a Plusle
and a Minun into battle, when clearly the most effective move in double battles is Earthquake, a move that will absolutely
wreck any electric-type? Plus they are annoying screechy things in the game, and had way too much screentime given to them in the manga and anime. My hatred have decreased somewhat over the years, thanks to their actually cute CG models in Generation VI, but if I had to rank the Pika-clones, Plusle and Minun will still be near the bottom of the barrel.
#2 Hariyama
Hariyama's another one whose design is messy. He's based on a powerful sumo fighter, I think, but must his hands be so gigantically ugly? And must his upper body be so shrunken? And must his legs be gigantic? And must his face be... weird? I don't know. Fighting-types has never been my favourite, but Hariyama takes the cake, looking ugly and being relatively worthless to raise thanks to the abundance of superior Fighting-types in Hoenn (Blaziken, Machamp, Medicham, Heracross and Breloom are all so much cooler, more powerful and more effective). There's a lot of Hariyamas in Victory Road, too, making me absolutely hate the motherfucker because it's annoying to fight.
#1 Pelipper
Yeah. These fuckers. I like the idea of seagulls and pelicans being made into Pokemon, and I suppose it makes sense for them to show up a lot in the beaches and oceans of Hoenn, but mother fucker they are annoying to fight. Pelippers love to spam Protect, they are pests that invade practically every sea route in Hoenn, and while Wingull is mostly harmless and actually kind of cute... Pelipper is just a big, ugly thing that looks like a toilet. I just hate Pelipper, and I find it an ugly and irritating thing that makes carrying a Manectric or Magneton kind of mandatory if you don't want to be swarmed by these fuckers in the ocean.
