Reviewing Monsters: The Legend of Zelda - Skyward Sword, Part 2

 The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

 

We're doing part two of Skyward Sword's bestiary! This one covers the Lanayru region, mostly. I did spend a lot of time doing side-quests and collecting missions which is why this one took quite a while to make. I'm told that I've reached around one-thirds of the way through the main plot, which is surprising -- I thought I'm more than halfway through! But I guess I've only really gone through three dungeons, huh.

Yellow Chuchu & Thunder Keese: As what is expected of 3D Zelda games, a lot of the enemies are just repainted, stronger versions of ones that we've met before. I kind of get it, and the Yellow Chuchu and Thunder Keese are essentially identical to the two first enemies we met in the game -- they're just slightly stronger thanks to having the power of electricity. They periodically get a charge, and anything metal on Link's person becomes a conductor that will stun Link if he comes into contact with them. Neat.

Electro Spume: A bit more interesting than the other two repaint enemies are the Electro Spume, although that might just be because the Spumes themselves feel a lot more complex than Chuchus and Keeses. They look visually more or less the same with their Magma counterparts, but they live in sand and spit electrical bolts instead of fireballs. It's kind of interesting how much more 'exotic' the lava-dwelling Magma Spume is compared to the Electro Spume, comparatively.

Rock Octorok: And here we go with the most literal 'Octorok' that you can get. It's an octopus that hides with a rock on top and it shoots rocks at you! I still really like just how Skyward Sword combined the classic 2D and 3D versions of Octoroks into something that feels so natural! Er, natural in a Zelda setting, of course, but still. 

Hrok: A new enemy! Oh, it's a roc that spits rocks. I didn't get that until literally just now as I was writing this. Kind of an obnoxious enemy, this one, but it just feels so... mundane? It's just a big bird that flies up into the sky and drops rocks down on Link, with its throat swelling up like a pelican.  Fi's description of the Hrok is interesting, noting that Hrok feeds on rocks, but any that it doesn't digest are collected in the throat pocket, which the Hrok will them amalgamate and regurgitate as boulders. Such a cool series of flavour text, it's a bit of a shame that the Hrok itself is visually pretty mundane. 

Ampilus: This one is super-duper cool! The Ampilus is a giant hermit crab-esque creature. It's got the general body layout of a giant crustacean, and I really love the rendering of that very prawn-y face and those mean, hooked claws. But the shell that the Ampilus lugs around looks more like the concentric shape of something like an ammonite! Interestingly, the Ampilus fights not by attacking you with its crustacean claws, but rather retreating entirely into its shell, charging up the shell with electricity, and just spin around the desert trying to run Link over as a spinning electrically-charged wheel. Fi's reading of the Ampilus identifies it as accomplishing this with an internal organ. Not a necessary detail to tell us, but I appreciate that the game takes time to do so. 

You kill the Ampilus by tricking it into slamming into something that's not Link, and then when it's stunned, Link can kill the vulnerable real body. The shell, notably, sticks around after an Ampilus's death, and both the Ampilus and its shell can freely walk on top of quicksand -- meaning that this is one of those enemies that is instrumental to solve puzzles. But that's not all!

One of the best area gimmicks I've seen in Zelda for a while, and easily one of my favourites, is that Lanayru Desert has these 'Timepiece Stones' that Link can hit and revert part of the desert into the past when the land is lush and has trees, grass, and the ancient robots and their still-working technology. And Link has to go back and forth between the past and present in order to access areas and stuff. That's not the main topic of this article, but if the Ampilus gets hit by that time-reversal area, they revert into Ampilus Eggs, which are adorable little rocks with an eyeball peering out. They periodically light up with electricity, and are used to solve puzzles. Very cool way to incorporate the time-travel gimmick, though!

Technoblin: So what else is in the past? These guys, the Technoblins, which are Bokoblins with... they're not quite cyborg outfits because Zelda isn't that kind of franchise, but it's neat to see them wearing something pretty futuristic. I was expecting like, magic-tech robots (and we do get those), but I didn't actually think the Bokoblins were going to get in on the game. Pretty cool variation, I do like those goggles that they have. The Technoblins' weapons are probably the most interesting thing about them. What do you call those? A fly-swatter? It's a weird rectangle that's charged, meaning that Link really can't clash swords with the Technoblin's weapon unless he wants to get zapped. 

Fi's notes insist that like their present-day counterparts, the Technoblins are also obsessed with the latest fashion in undergarments. Okay. 

Aracha: The dungeon in Lanayru Desert is the Lanayru Mining Facility, an old abandoned warehouse that used to be run by robots... but in the present day is infested with scuttling monsters like this guy. It's the desert, of course we're going to have a desert scorpion enemy! The Aracha are actually relatively harmless, but I do really like them. They look so... fleshy. I think they're meant to be this game's take on the classic enemy -- the Gohmas -- especailly since they have only a huge, giant eyeball on their buggy faces. It looks so unnatural, doesn't it, seeing such a non-arthropodal eyeball on a scorpion? They're not particularly powerful, but there's a lot of them, they jump on Link and are generally a huge nuisance throughout the dungeon. 

Froak: While the Arachas are pretty thematic, these guys are... um... they exist? I get the idea -- these are giant cartoon pufferfishes, they float around and they go kaboom because pufferfishes look like underwater mines. There's no real explanation to why they are floating around in a desert dungeon, though. It's kind of weird, and I guess I'll just chalk it up to random RPG enemy encounter?

The Froaks would later actually appear in the underwater areas in the Faron region and its second dungeon, the Ancient Cistern, where they feel a lot more at home. It's still bizarre that they first showed up in the Lanayru Mining Facility, though. 

Beamos: Because the Mining Facility still retains the time-shifting gimmick of the Lanayru overworld, parts of the factory soon end up transforming from ruins into enemies, and I love the bizarre magic-technology that they have. There's always a sense of some of these enemies being quasi-robotic, but even Twilight Princess depicted them as more of a golem than anything. I don't think it's until Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild that the ancient culture that exists in Hyrule is shown to be... well, technology-powered-by-magic. 

The Beamos looks pretty cool, too! It's a rattling robot that shoots lasers at you, but the decision to make it a totem pole with those ornament-looking fan-ears gives it a degree of fun fantasy look to it. Love the boxy mouth, too. Of course, Link needs to bash the Beamos's lower body parts down like a Jenga tower before he can stab his sword into the eyeball.

Sentrobe: Not quite having an obvious 'face' as the Beamos or the Armos below, the Sentrobes are flying balls with adorable little helicopter blades that shoot missiles at Link. The most efficient way is to shield-bash the missiles back to destroy the Sentrobes. At some point, though, the Sentrobes will send two of those Sentrobe Bombs at Link, and he needs to cut them according to the glowing lines. Not too much to say about this one, it's neat that we've got a new technological enemy, but having no real 'face' to speak of, the Sentrobe looks a bit less of a 'monster' and more of an obstacle. 

Armos: Sharing the same role as the Stalfos and Lizalfos as being a miniboss that ends up just showing up as an enemy later on, the Armos in this incarnation is a giant two-faced giant Easter Island statue thing. It's hard to tell here, but the reverse side is also a face. The Armos just hops around and tries to stab Link with those giant spikes on its bottom, but interestingly enough, since this version of the Armos is explicitly a mechanical device, there's a set radius of area that the Armos will bounce around away from its designated spot. 

The way to beat the Armos is to point your brand-new 'Gale Bellows' item to spin the windmill on top of the Armos's head, which will unscrew the upper halves of the faces and leave the Armos's core vulnerable... except the core will jut out on only one face. An interesting redesign -- it fits the aesthetics of the dungeon, but it's most certainly not my favourite version of the Armos. 

Thousand-Year Arachnid: Moldarach: Boss time! It's actually surprising that despite being themed all around time-travel and revisiting what the Mining Facility looked like when it was ran and automated by the robots, the boss of the Lanayru Mining Facility is... a giant scorpion. It's the thousand-year old adult phase of all the Arachas that I've killed in the course of traveling through the dungeon, and it makes thematic sense that way, but I'm actually pretty surprised that we didn't get a giant Armos or Beamos fight. Or that Moldarach didn't have a second phase where he becomes a cyborg scorpion. A Scorponok. 

But, hey, Moldarach looks pretty goddamn badass! He looks just so mean-looking, with the glistening rock-like carapace being such a stark contrast to the vulnerable-looking larval Arachas. Every single part of the Moldarach is armoured other than those two eyeballs that it has on its claws. Because, uh, it's a Zelda boss so it has eyeballs everywhere, I guess? We get another showcase of the game's directional-attack feature, where Link's sword can only really hit the eyeballs when you swing them in a certain direction. After Link blows up both of his claws, Moldarach dives under the sand and just tunnels through the ground and attacks you with its stinger (which is engorged like a mace!) and you need to blow the sand off and stab it in the eyeball. 

Very cool visually, a very fun boss to fight against... I just kind of wanted more, you know? 

The Imprisoned: After finishing the Faron, Eldin and Lanayru regions and their respective dungeons, Link gets brought back into the Sacred Grounds, where the ancient evil sealed by the Goddess at the bottom of the ravine is unleashed. This is a plot detail that has been spoiled to me by practically everyone -- and in Hyrule Warriors -- so it's not a huge surprise. I also know that I'm going to face off against the Imprisoned at least two more times later in the game. 

And... it's a pretty neat-looking giant whale, I guess? The kaiju-sized beast walks up the spiral path out from the valley where it's imprisoned, and Link needs to stop it before it reaches the top. And as a formless shadow demon, the Imprisoned does look kind of neat. Giant eyeless whale head with fangs... body made entirely out of glistening scales... the shadows rippling off of its back... and then there are those two feet with huge sausage toes, and then the Imprisoned ends up looking goofy just because of that one detail. Sure, those toes end up being the weak points that Link needs to break to cause it to fall down and expose the sealing sword on its nose, but... eh. Maybe it's because I beat this guy up so many times in Hyrule Warriors, but I wasn't super impressed by his design. The boss fight and the music is pretty fun, and the visions leading up to the Imprisoned's release does make him look a lot more imposing. I don't know, though... not the biggest fan of this one. 

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I did progress a bit more after the Imprisoned fight, going through a gauntlet of fetch quests to reach Thunderhead and the Isle of Songs, but I'll save the couple of enemies there until I clear another significant segment of the game. It's been fun! I'm really enjoying this game!

Hawkeye S01E03 Review: Trick Arrows

Hawkeye, Season 1, Episode 3: Echoes

A very interesting episode, this one. Of course, knowing now that the first two episodes were released together in the same day does make a bit more sense due to the amount of stuff that they set up in those two episodes -- and now that Kate and Clint's relationship are a bit more well-defined, we can go off to do build up the story surrounding them. We've gotten bits and pieces with the creepy Jack Duquesne doing suspicious stuff in the background with Kate's mother; or the Tracksuit Mafia doing whatever the hell they do (bro) but ultimately they're just distractions to the real stars of the show. 

And now that the dynamic between Kate and Clint are well established, this episode finally allows us to do build up the rest of the cast. Or, rather, one of them -- Maya Lopez, otherwise known to the comic-book audience as the superhero Echo. I'm completely unfamiliar with this character other than her connection to a maybe-cameo by Kingpin in this episode, so it'll be fun to see what she'll do in the series. 

The final shot of episode two is a reveal that lacked a bite since we know absolutely nothing about Echo, but the brief prologue we get this episode is a huge exposition dump that... that works really, really well. We get to see deaf little Maya grow up and, sure, her dad is a criminal, but he's also her dad, and a very good one at that. We see her struggle and eventually dominate despite her physical disabilities... and then she has to arrive in the moment of carnage as Clint, in his Ronin alter-ego, murders his way through William Lopez's little organization. It's a very poignant theme to explore in any of these shows where the heroes are murder-happy, and unlike the questionable writing decisions made in Black Widow (which I'll review eventually when I finish doing the rest of phase 3... at some point), there's no way that Maya's dad was hidden away in the background actually alive so that all our characters can go home guilt-free. 

And then after Maya's gruelling backstory, we get to see the present-day Maya, the badass leader of the Tracksuit Mafia. And, sure, the Tracksuits are mostly lovable goobers, bro, that say bro all the time, bro, with their funny accents... but while I'm waiting for her to do more in the back-end of the season, Maya does feel pretty interesting in this first episode. She gets to show that she's perhaps a bit too obsessed with murdering the Ronin, or looking for someone to blame for her father's death -- even when Clint tells her the metaphorically true answer that, hey, Ronin got killed by the Black Widow. She got so pissed off and invested in drawing some blood that her second-in-command and interpreter Kazi had to pull her back. 

This, of course, leads to the badass fight in the abandoned K-B toy store, which features some absolutely fun moments amidst pretty badass action sequences -- chief among them Clint swimming through a goddamn ball pool. Throughout this fight, Maya, who's had some discussion with Clint regarding his hearing aid, seems to zero in on that and smash it to bits. This whole sequence does actually salve my fears from the first two episodes that there won't be too much excitement as far as action sequences go in this show.  

This leads to what's probably going to be the signature scene of this show -- a deafened Clint driving a car while Kate randomly picks and yells and tries to communicate with her mentor while she shoots Clint's insane assortment of trick arrows at the pursuing Tracksuit guys. Oh, while Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "A Mad Russian Christmas" plays in the background, because we're going all-in on the Christmas theme. It's absolutely amazing, and it's the exact thing that I love about the MCU team in general -- they don't just respect the adaptation of some of the sillier parts of the source material*, they make stupid shit like suction-cup arrows and goop arrows look fucking cool. Eat your heart out, Arrow!

*Although typing this paragraph, I realize that they clearly draw the line at a comic-book accurate Silver Age Hawkeye costume. Can't be perfect.

Eventually, we get a pretty cool superhero goofiness moment as Hawkeye uses a Pym particle arrow to enlarge a regular-ass arrow and causes destroys the Tracksuits' pickup track. This ends the hostilities of the episode, but oh boy, what a fun episode that was. 

There's a continuing theme of communication between Clint and Kate throughout not just the fight, but the aftermath. It of course leads to some pretty great comedic moments ("deleted, blocked"; them independently talking about taking the dog out to walk) but it also gives us some genuinely well-done bonding moments between Clint and Kate, particularly in that scene in the apartment when Clint is unable to communicate with little Nathaniel over the phone, and Kate needs to help.

There's also that great scene in the restaurant where Kate shows all the excitement about the whole 'branding' thing and, yes, even grouchy old Clint has to admit that Kate Bishop's one of the world's greatest archers. But then in-between the dorky energy of Kate showing Clint her spin on Hawkeye's classic uniform, we get that pretty amazingly-delivered speech about how Clint talks about how this superhero business eats you, and puts your families at risk. On the other hand, though, Kate Bishop refuses to downplay the fact that Clint Barton donning the superhero spandex and running around as Hawkeye most certainly has inspired some people, chief among them her. Which, of course, tosses in the fact that Kate doesn't actually realize that Clint was Ronin into a brand-new light and a plot thread to follow up on later down the line. 

There's also some stuff with the Tracksuits moving out of their base in the background, but other than that, the episode does end off in a very telegraphed cliffhanger as the Hawkeyes try and look into the Bishop penthouse and end up being intercepted by Jack Duquesne with Ronin's sword. Pretty organic cliffhanger, and I'm assuming next episode we'll be getting a bit more from this antagonist instead. 

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner:

• The main action sequence of this episode of the two Hawkeyes bickering about trick arrows in the middle of a car chase is taken from issue #3 of the 2012 Hawkeye run, except Clint and Kate swap places, and in the comic run, they actually ride a 70's red Dodge Challenger. 
• Maya's dad tells her that 'dragons live in another world' off-handedly. The events of Iron Fist and Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings proves that in the MCU, he is right, whether he knows it or not. 
• The auto-repair shop where Echo sees William get killed by Ronin is called 'Fat Man', a common descriptor of the Kingpin in the comics. It's also very heavily implied that Maya's 'uncle' is Kingpin himself.
• The USB arrow, of course, is the infamous trick arrow that Hawkeye uses in Avengers.
• Hawkeye uses a Pym particle arrow to enlarge a regular arrow, which, of course, is a nod to Ant-Man. 
• During the flashback, William leaves a bloody handprint on her face, which is a nod to her comic-book counterpart Echo's similar faceprint. 
• Kate's doodle is Hawkeye's notoriously non-live-action-friendly comic book costume, with Kate pointing out the H on the forehead and the 'hawk horns'.

One Piece Anime: Wano Arc, Episodes 966-970

Again with another batch of One Piece episodes! I originally wanted to rush all the way to 976, the end of the Oden flashback, but... nah, let's take it slow, yeah? 

As with the previous ones, the usual disclaimer still stands -- this is less of a review and more of my commentary. For the reviews of the individual events, I think I covered them enough in the manga reviews. Anyway... 

Episode 966:

• God damn, the animation in this episode. 
  
• The heavens split when Whitebeard and Roger clashed. Of course they do! Was this explicit in the manga? I genuinely don't remember.
• We get name-cards for all the Whitebeard and Roger pirates! All the Whitebeard Pirates are characters we've seen before, either as major or minor characters, in the Marineford War. And then among Roger's crew we've got legends like Rayleigh, Gaban, Buggy, Shanks... and Nozudon and Sambel. I mean, being part of the Roger Crew definitely means they're above-average, but since all we know about most of the Roger crew are their designs and names... I shouldn't be so dismissive. Maybe we get a proper Roger flashback that builds up on them. 
• Holy shit, though, we actually see the Roger and Whitebeard crew clash! Vista fights against Sambel the giant fishman! Jozu uses his diamond powers against some huge musclebound dude! We get some dude with goggles and an orange jacket doing a badass zoom-in clash!  Rakuyo's giant chain chomp chasing Shanks and Buggy around! This is the filler we need. 
• What was Oden doing in the three-day fight? Fighting Scopper Gaban, apparently; dual wielder against dual wielder. 
• MVP of this quick sequence of scenes is Rayleigh, who blocks phoenix-mode Marco not with one hand, but with one finger. He's also implied to clash with young Blackbeard, but the way the scene is cut is a bit ambiguous. 
• Good fucking lord the budget really went into animating Whitebeard and Roger just ripping black lightning into the fabric of reality as they clash with each other, huh. 
• Oh yeah, Shanks and Buggy having a staredown with Blackbeard! That's always one of the weirdest details snuck into this flashback that's just a ticking bomb for some epic reveal down the line, isn't it?
• With voice-acting, it's a lot more obvious what the 'unheard goal' it is that Roger and Luffy said and shocked people like Ace, Oden and Whitebeard. 
• The very serious discussion of Roger begging Oden to join his crew, Whitebeard being very furious at Roger trying to take his family and Oden's huge world-changing decision... is punctuated by the running gag of 'you're annoyed'. Oh, Oda, never change. 
• Roger and Rayleigh does actually note that 'it's been a long time' since they held a baby. Oh man, this line led to so much speculation from the fandom, I remembered. 
• Surprise filler! The Roger Pirates stop at Jaya, and Oden goes shopping and gets into hijinks as he steals ingredients while Gaban and the two kids insist that the Roger Pirates never steal from regular citizens. It lasts maybe three or four minutes, but it does help to bridge the gap between what's literally just two panels of Gaban and the others being pissed at Oden into accepting him as a member of the crew. That's obviously not very necessary, but a neat one regardless. 

Episode 967:

• Bink's Sake! A good musical piece is a great excuse to actually take a scene slow and let it sink in without being boring. This happens twice in the episode, but also helps to sell the fact that Bink's Sake is a well-known pirate shanty in this world. 
• ...the giant Yoshi egg. What is it. 
• I loved this segment of the story. So many cameos to previous locales we've seen before! Skypiea! Water Seven! Fishman Island! Even fucking Tequila Wolf! I don't really think I have that much to comment without listing everything that happens in this episode (and I already did it a couple years back when it happened in the manga) but it's so neat to see the history of the One Piece world shown through the eyes of a previous pirate crew.
• Love the little tie-in to showing Roger carving the message on Skypiea, and him re-establishing how much Fishman Island is tied to prophecies of pirates.
• I completely forgot that Franky casually was just in the background while the goddamn King of Pirates and his crew visited Tom. I'm not sure why this came as such a shock to me back then -- in hindsight, it was obvious since we know Tom is acquainted with Roger, but still.
• Is Shyarly's fortune-telling powers just supremely powerful Observation Haki, I wonder?
• I really enjoyed this episode. A great adaptation of the source material. Don't have that much to say about it, but I did enjoy it! One thing I really do like is that while this episode is probably the heaviest as far as Poneglyph stuff goes, I really do love that the focus is still on Oden and his journey with Roger. To them, the journey's what's important and I really like how that's portrayed here. 

Episode 968:

• 
  Oden and Toki's marriage is just so wholesome. Oden's straight-up willing to give up his adventure and stay with Toki on Wano, as much as it visibly pains him. While Toki point-blank refuses to allow Oden to do so. Selfish? Oden-centric? Perhaps, but I guess that's why the Oden-Toki marriage ends up working so well. 
• Knowing what eventually happened to Wano thanks to Orochi's taking over, and knowing that Oden could've stopped it if he actually stayed behind in Wano at this point in time... while also knowing that there's no other way for him and Roger to discover the truth of the world... god damn, even with hindsight, Oden's really had an unenviable choice before him, huh?
• Note that Kanjurou's the one that immediately suggests attacking the foreign pirates.
• I do like the little detail that baby Hiyori is immediately attached to Kawamatsu when they first met the retainers. 
• I really do also like tying in the whole 'voice of all things' stuff with the Sea Kings last episode and Zunesha in this one. 
• GENGHIS BAAN
• Did I never get the whole fact that the four Poneglyphs make a huge X-marks-the-spot? Dang it!
• I have also completely missed the fact that Roger gave Shanks the straw hat over the comment of "if we're going to reach there, we're going to do it with our own ships". Heck, I think I missed the fact that we actually saw the big moment where Rogers gave Shanks the hat entirely. 
• That Laugh Tale scene is actually pretty damn powerful, huh?

Episode 969:

• I wonder why Rayleigh really wants to see the 'world turned upside-down'? I really do like this small conversation between Roger and Rayleigh. There's a very strong bond there, some deep history between the two that we're not (yet) privy to, but these small conversations really do a great job at showcasing that, yeah, when Roger went around on his journey, there's probably an equivalent of huge crewmate-centric stories in his life, too. 
• Hearing it spoken out in Japanese -- "Gorudo" versus "Goru Di", makes the distinction between "Gold' and "Gol D." a lot more easy to tell. 
• SHIKI CAMEO! SHIKI CAMEO! SHIKI
• Man, that Sea King prophecy is still so freaking weird. Part of it almost definitely refers to Shirahoshi, but I really do wonder if Luffy is indeed a 'child of prophecy' (tm)? 
• "Just like the farewell between men, no one cried a single tear."
• "Welcome home, you bastard."
• That wound on Toki didn't become important. It probably will become important in the future, which would imply that Toki will show up in the present day, but... I really don't like that idea considering how nicely her story ends in the flashback.
• The artwork for Oden getting angry at "a little thing???!" is pretty great. 

Episode 970:

• Angry Oden is a badass Oden. That red glint in his eyes when he's about to slash Orochi is badass. Also badass is the slow-motion grin we get on his face when Orochi thinks "he's crazy!"
• Holy shit, though, he just literally jumps out of that his castle and ran all the way to the Flower Capital.
• Damn the Bari Bari no Mi is pretty damn badass. 
• What did happen to the real Sukiyaki? We are told he died, but since this is One Piece, and we never saw the body...
• Ah, yes, the naked-dancing scene. The 'oden wouldn't be oden if it wasn't boiled' scene is, I assume, formatted after a kabuki song. We hear Oden singing this while on Roger's ship, and it's the one he sings over and over while dancing naked, which makes that line spoken at the end of the flashback actually thematic -- since all of Wano would've heard it and associated it with ridiculing Oden. 
• Roger's execution! We get to see it again, with a whole ton of cameos!

Hawkeye S01E02 Review: Hawkeye's LARP Adventure

Hawkeye, Season 1, Episodes 2: Hide and Seek

Another pretty slow episode, although the first two episodes of Hawkeye were admittedly released back-to-back in November. The first episode focuses a lot on introducing Kate Bishop and her periphery cast, while this one sets up the dynamic between Clint and Kate now that they've met each other. It's basically the thing that's going to make or break the series, and I'm pleased to say that they play off each other very well. Clint's not a trope that we haven't seen before -- an old semi-retired hero who has the responsibility and desire to do what's right, but he's just so tired about it. Meanwhile, Kate is equal parts bubbly in fangirling over her favourite superhero while also trying to prove that she's competent.

And... and it's pretty fun to see the two play off of each other. Clint's character being the tired, serious everyman is kind of drowned out when he's on-screen with five to twenty-two other co-stars, but when it's just him and another co-star, it works well. Things also go relatively more or less how you expect it to with Clint treating the opening battle scene with the Tracksuit Mafia as a huge annoyance, but something he wants to get over with.

It did admittedly end with Kate's apartment burned up by the bro-mafia's Molotov cocktails, but it more or less ended out well. Kate's safe and alive, and she's clearly connected to the big Bishop Security company... but everything's nice. Kate even got some neat little mentoring from Clint despite his eye-rolling attitude. That moment where Clint shows Kate how to properly clean and bandage wounds isn't particularly groundbreaking as far as a superhero mentor/mentee relationship goes, but between that moment and the fun banter between the two it's still pretty sweet. The bit about Hawkeye's branding, them shopping for ibuprofen, Kate asking Clint to sign her bow... lots of fun moments between the two. Clint definitely sees a lot of his own daughter Lila in Kate, and I feel like the show manages to get that across without being too obvious about it.

All that's left for Clint, of course, is to recover the suit. Which leads to the admittedly slightly too-long sequence where Clint has to infiltrate the LARP community, and... I do appreciate just how much Clint is just "I'm trying to be nice, but I just want to get everything done with". The poor, poor man. 

While Hawkeye is off literally doing his subplot, Kate is dealing with more investigation stuff. While she might've given the Tracksuit Mafia the shake, every vibe that Jack (instead of Jacques in this show, I guess) Duquesne radiates strikes Kate the wrong way. She all but states that she suspects that Jack is behind Armand's killing, but Kate can't really tell her mother how or why she knows about the suspicious aspects of her fiance. The barb-trading between Kate and Jack is particularly fun to watch. Tony Dalton plays Jack as such an ass! This ultimately leads to Kate's attempt to stab Jack in the face, forcing him to reveal that he's actually a badass swordsman... which really proves nothing to Mama Eleanor other than that Jack lied about his sword skills and is taking it easy on a teenage girl, and Kate ends up sounding pissy and histrionic instead of revealing something suspicious about Jack. Ultimately Kate finds a clue (admittedly a flimsy one) in the butterscotch candy wrapping that Jack is eating and heads off to inform Clint. 

Clint, meanwhile, is trying to figure out the whole Tracksuit Mafia thing and plans to re-enact Black Widow's "catch and release" plan. And he has to do so to get home before Christmas, otherwise he'll disappoint Lila! Which... which doesn't work as well because the members of the Tracksuit Mafia are complete goobers. And then it's compounded by Kate Bishop being a goober herself, falling down from the ceiling and honestly being kind of lucky that she didn't break her legs with that maneuver. The episode ends with them captured by the Tracksuit Mafia and we zoom in to their deaf/mute leader Echo. It's pretty fun, honestly, with Clint, Kate and Ivan all getting pretty good lines throughout this sequence.

I've thought that the release schedule was more because of them pushing Hawkeye a week earlier because of The Book of Boba Fett, but this is definitely a show that works beset if you watch these two slower opening episodes back-to-back. The slowness is definitely in the show's favour and it fits the whole 'smaller-scale conflict' vibe. The show in general is pretty mellow and slow, but the Clint/Kate dynamic is easily its strongest asset and it does make for a fun opening act. 

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner:

• Hawkeye plans to do a 'catch and release', which Clint and Laura recognize as a Natasha thing to do -- this is a reference to how Black Widow is introduced in The Avengers, where she is captured by a group of criminals when she could've gotten out anytime. The shot of Clint's head-bag being removed is even framed almost identically to Black Widow's equivalent scene in Avengers.
• Tony Stark is mentioned to have sold Avengers Tower. While not explicitly 'sold', the plot of Spider-Man: Homecoming does involve clearing out a bunch of Avengers-related objects out of Stark/Avengers Tower. 
• Clint and Kate go off to buy some ibuprofen, which is kind of a hilarious roundabout joke to Yelena and Natasha's joke in Black Widow about Avengers that need an ibuprofen after a fight. 
• Among the names in Kate's aunt's apartment is 'Moira Brandon', a supporting character for the West Coast Avengers.
• Grills, the LARPer that found the Ronin suit, is Clint's neighbour from the 2012 Hawkeye comic run.
• The montage of the explosions Clint has been in are all taken from previous MCU movies -- Avengers; Age of Ultron; Civil War and Endgame. It's also perfectly synched to "Little Drummer Boy", which is hilarious. 

Hawkeye S01E01 Review: Kate Bishop!

Hawkeye, Season 1, Episode 1: Never Meet Your Heroes

I suppose we'll mix things up a little and do some series in an episodic format? I feel like while the entire-series review format is a lot less demanding for me writing-wise, it also puts more pressure on me catching up and watching entire chunks of television at a time. So for Hawkeye, I'll do it episode by episode. I've always held a little torch for good ol' Hawkeye, and I always did think that Black Widow and Hawkeye would make for a kickass TV series. We're getting just the Hawkeye part of that equation, but I'm still pretty excited! Anyway, I'm already kinda late to the party anyway, so...

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And... this episode is mostly introductions. It's a lot more slower-paced compared to Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Loki's respective first episodes, and it most certainly didn't have the mind-fuckery of Wandavision's pilot episode. Perhaps even more so than Falcon, this one feels the most down-to-earth of the Disney+ MCU shows, and the first episode just deals with reintroducing how Clint Barton has been coping to a post-Endgame world, while the bulk of the episode does the job of introducing Kate Bishop (Bumblebee's Hailee Steinfeld) as her own character. Unless I'm missing someone, Kate is the first main character in a Disney+ show that didn't originate in a pre-existing movie, which means that a good first impression of her is necessary.

And Kate's fun! A good two-thirds of the episode is devoted on her, and both the casting and the writing for the character is pretty top-notch. These sort of 'legacy' characters can be a bit of a make-it-or-break-it facet of a show, but I do really like that Kate Bishop is not just 'Hawkeye, but younger', but feels like her own character trying to make it in this insane world of superheroics. It helps that Kate is also a fun deadpan snarker that fits the mould of the MCU protagonist without being a carbon copy of anyone. 

And since this show's unique appeal is having Kate Bishop come into her own as a younger protege of an older, established hero, we do spend a bit of time showing the reasons why she can be a superhero -- she's got the classic 'parent gets killed due to a supervillain' thing, even if it's just collateral damage during the Chitauri war. She's got an inspiration, having seen Hawkeye be her hero that saved her from suffering the same fate as her dad. She's got the typical superhero 'athletic prodigy' background that explains why she can bush out some karate moves during the fight with the Tracksuit Mafia. She's clearly enough of a maverick to run around getting into trouble with her archery, and quick-thinking enough to bullshit her way when sneaking into that ominous underground auction. 

...and yet, we also get to see that despite all this, Kate's still woefully inexperienced. The biggest threat in this game is just a bunch of sock-headed gang members called the Tracksuit Mafia, and while Kate doesn't actually get beaten too bad, her attempt to do the Black Widow thigh-neck-snap thing fails hilariosuly because she falls off the rusty pipe she's hanging on. When the Tracksuit Mafia corners her in the streets, she only manages to beat the first goon before Clint shows up.

In addition to just establishing Kate's character, the first episode does introduce Kate's super-rich mom Eleanor, and what initially seems to just be a rich people hobnob-party ends up becoming something else as Kate sneaks around to follow her mother's rich fiancé Jacques Duquesne and his uncle Armand the Third (who Kate eavesdropped basically threatening her mother) into an underground auction. Some fun comedic moments with Kate pretending to be a waiter, but the items being sold in the auction include Ronin's equipment, lost since Endgame and somehow recovered by these shady rich people. 

Jacques and his uncle Armand the Third are involved in the auction and the episode does most certainly try and build them up to be kinda shady... until the auction gets attacked by a gang of balaclava-wearing goons called the Tracksuit Mafia. Seeing bad guys attacking these people, Kate ends up stealing and donning the Ronin getup and gets to fighting. Unfortunately, as mentioned above, she's not the most experienced burgeoning superhero, and while she does beat up some of the gang members, they are still a whole mafia against one girl with athletic capabilities. 

Throwing a wrench into things are a bunch of smaller events that I'm sure will be explored later on in the series --- Jacques steals the Ronin sword; someone among the Tracksuit Mafia steals a mysterious watch that is identified to be from the Avengers compound; and, most importantly, Armand III is found murdered. Extremely importantly, Kate also saves a dog! And gives him a pizza! Welcome to the MCU, Lucky the Pizza Dog, clearly you're the most important cast member of this show.

Again, a good chunk of this episode doesn't really delve too much into these mysteries just yet, because we're just setting Kate up as this younger hero that's both impressive enough compared to us 'normals', while still clearly fallible and a bit over her head. It's most certainly not an easy balance to do, and I look forward to see whether they can manage to keep this balance until Kate comes into her own as Hawkeye at the end of the show.

The stakes is also immediately much lower compared to... honestly, every single other MCU project so far? Hell, Clint's involvement in this show so far extends to him bringing his three kids to watch a musical in New York for Christmas times (and this is a Christmas-heavy episode) and essentially living life as a celebrity. His daughter Lila is quick enoguh on the update to realize that Clint is still hurting over his best friend Black Widow's death in Endgame, and while the people who walk up to Clint to thank him for being a superhero are nowhere as obnoxious as that one 'Blip reparations' dude from Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but it's still clear that Clint is still kind of bothered by it. 

(A little bit of an understatement, but they went all-out for the Broadway parody. It's glorious!)

I do really love the little character moments showing how... how overwhelmed Clint is with everything, but he's not really the kind of man to lash out and freak out. And anytime his children come into the scene you can just see the switch go on in Clint's personality where he's back to the 'jokey happy dad' mode. It's pretty well-done acting by Jeremy Renner that I really don't think would be possible in the cinematic format. 

But then Clint takes mostly the backseat, hanging out with his family until news of the Ronin shows up in the news. It's a bit slower, but honestly, considering how much the MCU version of Hawkeye is shown to be a family man almost above all else, it's appropriate that he basically did manage to get his best reward, which is being a dad to his growing children. He has been essentially growing too old for this shit, and after getting into a terrible headspace in Endgame when he dons the Ronin identity, you can totally see how Clint is just done with the world and just wants to be a dad. Which, of course, leads to the ending of the episode, where, in an attempt to stop the return of Ronin from causing any escalation of hostilities, he ends up hunting down his 'impersonator', which, of course, ends up being Kate. 

The episode itself also runs on heavy Christmas holiday-season vibes, with even the background instruments playing parts of famous Christmas songs. Which, I suppose, fits a lot with how both Clint and Kate's story seem to be geared to be wrapped around their families. Ultimately this is a bit of a slower-paced first episode, but still equally fun and the right one for this show, I feel. 

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner:

• Just like the other Disney+/MCU shows, I'm not going to do any 'in the comics' origin stories, because the show's going to explore Kate Bishop's origin story and stuff.
• Past Movies Continuity:
• Obviously, the prologue with Kate and her parents takes place during the events of The Avengers. The Chitauri-ship-dissolving arrow was actually seen as a close-up among one of Hawkeye's many trick arrows during that movie.
• Clint's tenure as Ronin happened in Avengers: Endgame, and we actually got some shots taken verbatim from that movie. 
• Hawkeye is shown to have a hearing aid -- the comic book version of Hawkeye is deaf, and this is the first acknowledgement that the MCU version also shares this trait. 
• The belltower that Kate accidentally demolishes is on 'Stane Tower', a reference to Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger, the main villain of Iron Man.
• The urinal that Hawkeye pisses in has "Thanos was right" grafitti on it, which is a bit of a meme among the MCU fandom. 
• Rogers: the Musical in-universe dramatizes the events of The Avengers, although it adds Ant-Man into the cast of the 2012-era Avengers. It's a bit of a meta-joke because Ant-Man was one of the founding members of the Avengers in the comics, and various versions of the planning for phase 1 of the MCU included Ant-Man as a member of the Avengers.
• The lyrics of Rogers: The Musical adds in a bunch of little winks to some MCU running jokes, like Captain America's "I can do this all day" catchphrase, or Hulk being "Incredible", and the Shawarma scene from Avengers.
• The font and opening credits of the show takes heavy inspirations from the excellent 2012 Hawkeye series by Matt Fraction and David Aja. 

One Piece 1035 Review: The King Falls

One Piece, Chapter 1035: Zoro Vs. King

Not too much for me to say here, but seeing that we're not getting another chapter until 2022, I guess I'll talk about this one in an individual chapter. I really wished that I had stayed my hand with publishing my review for 1034 -- nothing wrong with either chapter, but so much of both of them are 'a Straw Hat beats the enemy, and they get the full chapter to them' and there's only so much I can talk about it without going panel-by-panel and commentating on either the attack names or the artwork.

We do get a bit of a coda to the Sanji/Queen fight from the previous chapter, with the confirmation that Queen gets absolutely manhandled by Sanji and tossed out of Onigashima itself. There's a neat bit of Sanji flashbacking to his own pet mouse back during his days as the child of Germa, but otherwise the rest of the chapter is just King's fight. 

And it's... I'm not sure how I feel about it. There's a very video-game-y vibe to it, where Zoro realizes that King gets faster but more fragile when the flames on his back is out. There's no real rhyme or reason to this, no Haki-handwave or some justification... I don't know. It's just 'oh, this is the moment for you to hone in your attacks', and after the whole bit with King reflecting damage in the previous chapter (what's up with that?) and all the talk about the mystery of the Lunarians, I guess having a Defense Down, Speed Up buff is just something innate to them? I certainly haven't gone back to check (but I'm sure Oda's consistent about it) but I really do hope that we get an explanation to this, even if it's something as cheeky as 'dinosaurs in this world do hunt like this'. '

King's mask gets ripped up and we get to see what he looks like -- a typical anime dark-skin white-hair look with a tattoo. The tattoo at least looks pretty Skypiean-y, vaguely resembling Wyper's, but, again, we don't really learn too much about the Lunarians at all. We do get to know a bit about King, which is nice -- in-between the clashes against Zoro, the audience gets flashbacks of King's time as a captive of the World Government, and how a still-young-and-happy Kaido freed him from there. There's something to talk about here, how Kaido feels a lot more upbeat and optimistic in the way that we'd describe the likes of Roger and Luffy, but that makes me more interested about Kaido than I am about King. 

We do get a couple of sword clashes, a couple of named attacks, and the return of King's sword-breaker sword which Zoro deflects with Conqueror's Haki. But ultimately it's just a very cool action scene -- Zoro figures out the openings in King's powers, the two warriors exchange taunts, and Zoro cuts through King's giant dragon flame and unleashes a dragon-based Haki-sword attack. 

Pretty great takedown, and the only real crime is that it's just kind of simple. Zoro claims he has to master Enma a couple chapters back, and he does. And he cuts King down, just like he says he would. The artwork does really show just how much Zoro is struggling (he did just hang out in a fight against the Yonko) so I do appreciate that Zoro doesn't just treat this as a joke the way the Pica fight went. A neat fight, overall, 

I do feel that I'm pretty mellow, but with all the other Straw Hats already having huge 1v1 chapters and neither King nor Queen really ended up being developed more beyond 'slightly-strong lieutenant', I felt kind of lukewarm seeing them defeated. None of these chapters are bad, of course, but with how epic the scale of the Wano arc has been (particularly since I'm also watching the anime on the side) I really do kind of feel like the Sanji/Queen and Zoro/King takedowns lack a certain oomph to them. 

Random Notes:

• Looks like our cover story's going to be Germa 66 oriented, explaining what they did after Whole Cake Island. Everybody's just surviving Whole Cake Island via cover stories, it seems. 
• King's Imperial Fire turns into dragons in this chapter, and I guess it's just a nod at how loyal King is to Kaido, then. 

Reviewing Monsters: The Legend of Zelda - Skyward Sword, Part 1

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Yeah, this was the game that I was playing in the back-end of 2021. I missed Skyward Sword when it came out for the first time because I didn't own a Wii-U! While I'm aware of the story and basically spoiled myself reading the synopsis about how it's essentially the Zelda game that ties all Zelda games, past and future, together, it's different reading about a game's story and actually playing it, yeah? And in 2021, Skyward Sword HD was released for the Nintendo Switch. Never having played this game before, I eschewed buying the remakes of two other older games like Link's Awakening and Pokemon Diamond/Pearl. And I enjoyed myself playing through it!

I also... took my time playing through it, because, well, sometimes you just have to enjoy a game a bit slowly. Which is why this review popped up way later since I started playing the game. 

I'll try not to spoil any of the plot for any of you who haven't played the game, but some locations and dungeons are definitely going to get a bit spoiled. This monster review will be talking about the monsters up to the end of the Eldin region. 

Keese: New 3D games always means new incarnations of familiar faces, and the very first enemies that you encounter in this game are the Keese. Basically ubiquitous in the hub area of Skyloft wherever it's dark, the Keese are way more bat-like. And a lot more cartoony compared to their immediate predecessors from Twilight Princess. I like it! I like how manic the Keese's expression looks, especially those concentric eyes. As with all other incarnations of the Keese, Skyward Sword's Keese is basically just an enemy you can quickly beat up and kill. 

There are a fair amount of enemy variants in this game, and some of them appear in the volcano-based Eldin region, which has Fire Keese. They behave identically to regular Keese, except they're literally on fire, setting Link and any wooden shields he has on fire. 

Green Chuchu / Red Chuchu: Oh, okay, interesting! Chuchus are probably one of the enemies in the Zelda franchise to keep changing what it means to be a 'slime blob' monster, going from the sad, gross slug-like ones in Majora's Mask to the adorable bobbleheads in Wind Waker to being shapeless, eyeless rods in Twilight Princess into... this guy! It's a goop with a gross, 90's cartoon slime mouth, with two adorable little eyeballs. There's almost a Breath of the Wild Chuchu going on here if you remove the mouth, too. 

Interestingly, the Chuchu in Skyward Sword have more of a resemblance to Gels and Zols from previous games, with their primary gimmick being that a single Chuchu splits into two smaller Chuchus, and you need to quickly slash and kill one of the smalls in order to stop the two from merging back together. According to our sword-spirit buddy Fi (she provides data about all the monsters) this is actually the Chuchu's method of reproduction. 

The Red Chuchu is a variant we meet in the volcano-based Eldin region, and basically behaves the same as the green Chuchu except it's on fire. 

Remlit: A new enemy, and... a bit of an interesting one? On the day, remlits are cute weird lemur-cats that make adorable mewing sounds and follow you around. But when night falls, they transform, their teeth and claws grow longer, their ears and tail become sharp, and they basically go full werewolf. Or, well, rabid, I guess? It's an interesting little twist, and adds a bit of an oomph to the fact that Skyloft only has monsters roaming its streets at night. Becuase the Remlits are people's pets, though, you don't actually get to kill them -- after beating them twice with your sword they just run away mewling like a sad kitty. 

Sky Octorok: The main 'hub world' also has its own equivalent of Hyrule Field, a large expanse that you can roam around before you enter the different zones with their own terrain, puzzles, themes and dungeons. I have a lot to say about how much less interesting 'the Sky' is compared to any version of Hyrule Field, but we're here to talk monsters and not the game itself. Anyway, the enemies in the sky are mostly these guys -- Sky Octoroks! They resemble regular Octoroks, but look much more adorable, have little Peahat-esque plant-helicopters and shoot rocks at you. It's not obvious when you play the game, but try to get close to them and you realize how big they are. They kinda have to be, for you to spot them from a distance, but still!

Deku Baba: Another absolute classic, the Deku Baba return in the first 'surface' area we get to explore, the Faron Woods. The main gimmick of this game is motion controls and how our controller's movements will influence the direction that Link swings his sword. So the Deku Baba show up in two variations -- one has its mouth split horizontally and the other has its mouth split vertically. A very simple yet very fun variation! And, of course, when the Deku Baba has its mouth closed, you can't tell which way the Baba's mouth is going to open. Very cool! 

Quadro Baba: Of course, there's also the yellow Quadro Baba, a variant that only makes sense thanks to this gimmick. The Quadro Baba's jaw is split into four halves, and it can open its four-part mouth either vertically or horizontally, making it a fair bit tougher to deal with. It's not quite as epic as the Deku Baba variants in Twilight Princess, but I do really like it. There's really not a whole ton for me to say otherwise, but the Babas still remain one of my all-time favourite enemies .

As with most Zelda games, the Quadro Baba would later be trivialized by an item you get -- the bomb. The Quadro Baba will happily gobble up bomb flowers and get blown to smithereens. 

Red Bokoblin / Green Bokoblin: The world of the surface is filled with other races that aren't human (or hylian), but the most hostile one is the Bokoblin, who look like... ogre-goblin bulldog pig-men? I find it kind of interesting just how different the Bokoblins are from game to game -- these are probably going to be one of the more memorable ones, though. They behave like any humanoid enemy would, except thanks to, again, the motion-control gimmick, it's a bit harder to fight them since they can and will block sword strikes from different directions. 

The default version of the Bokoblin holds giant cleavers, but the ones in the Eldin region wield clubs with thorny vines wrapped around them, which fits the terrain. The ones with bandanas are the leaders, and they have a horn with which they can infinitely call reinforcements. According to Fi, the Bokoblins have a 'mysterious obsession with fashionable undergarments'. Okay. The Green Bokoblin are a variant whose skin has changed because they've lived in dark caves, which affected their skin pigmentation. It has a Flintstone caveman hammer! 

Grass Octorok: Yet another Zelda classic, the Grass Octorok actually resemble another 3D Zelda classic enemy -- the Deku Scrub! It hides underground with a giant shrub above its head, and spits rocks at Link. It's kind of a combination of the 'pop in and out' Ocarina of Time Octoroks and the terrestrial 2D Octoroks. Interestingly, Fi notes that these Octoroks "descended from oceanic molluscs", so realistically, there's a common ancestor behind these land-dwelling Octoroks we see in 2D Zelda games, Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild; and the aquatic Octoroks in Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker. 

As you'd expect, Octoroks are annoying when you have to bounce back the rocks they shoot at them, but become kind of trivial after you get ranged weaponry. 

Deku Hornet: More of a hazard than an enemy, we've got these mean-looking hornets that hang around their nests! Link can drop the hornet nests onto Bokoblins once he gets ahold of the Slingshot item. Not much else to say about them, I think you can catch them for the bug-catching minigame as well. 

Guay: Another "just an animal" enemy, the Guays are crows with particularly large beaks that fly around the Faron Woods. They're not explicitly harmful, but they will literally shit on Link and their droppings will drain Link's stamina. Quoting Fi's entry on them: "It is unclear if this is due to a carefree attitude or pure malice. Should its droppings land on you, I calculate the probability of your intense aggravation at 100%." I like Zelda partners that give us flavour text

Walltula: The first dungeon, Skyview Temple, is kinda-sorta a spider dungeon? It's not quite a dedicated spider dungeon, but most of the enemies are spiders. We've got good ol' Walltulas, and I like what's going on here. The way that skull motif is stretched over the abdomen, the glowing yellow eyes, the lavender eyes arranged like a fan, and those massively threatening pedipalps... as per their previous incarnations, the Walltulas stick on walls and vines and attack Link when he's climbing the vines. 

Skulltula: A very cool take on a classic Zelda enemy! I love just how jagged and dangerous-looking those legs are, and the spider's head look as menacing as ever. But what really gets me is how oddly different Skyward Sword's Skulltula's skull-abdomen is. Instead of a giant bony skull growth or just patterns that resemble a skull, this one kind of takes the middle ground? Those eyeballs look like ridges, and I love how the eyes look kind of... googly-eyed, while the 'mouth' of the skull looks like it's melting. Coupled with the more realistic-scary spider head and the spiky protrusions on the joints of the legs, this might be one of the coolest Skulltulas.

The Skulltulas' abdomens are still invulnerable, and Link needs to hit their underbellies which have a glowing purple orb. This gets extra-problematic if they actually fall off their spinneret-threads and scuttle around on the ground, since you need to flick it over. I don't remember if any previous Skulltulas are able to do this, but Skyward Sword's Skulltula is able to essentially use the Pokemon move String Shot, shooting a mass of string from its mouth to bind Link in place.

Stalfos: The miniboss of Skyview Temple is a good ol' Stalfos. They're pretty large in this incarnation, and look extra-threatening with those massive fangs on their jaws! The Stalfos dual-wields two large murder-swords, and... and this might probably be my favourite version of the Stalfos, non-stop. Due to the Stalfos constantly and easily blocking Link's attacks with his large blades and their longer reach, you need to sometimes shield-bash them which cause their arms to comically fall off, and that leaves that ribcage to be vulnerable to some good old-fashioned smashing.

Staldra: An interesting creature! It's a hydra, sort-of. It's got three heads, and Link needs to slice all three heads off in a single blow otherwise they keep regenerating. A great twist on the 'cut off one head, two more will take its place' gimmick that hydras have. Interestingly, as its name and appearance suggests, the Staldra is actually an undead version of its original being, and a closer look shows that its main serpentine body is actually wrapped in mummy bandages. Really like the detail going on with those skulls -- the single glowing eye and the split lower jaw, and the extra eyeholes. 

Interestingly, Fi describes the creature as a 'snake monster from before the dawn of time', and that it has survived beyond death because of its thirst to cause pain. Wonder what it looks like in life? 

Demon Lord Ghirahim: The first boss in Skyview Temple is, tragically, neither a giant Stal-monster or a giant Skulltula, but this guy, Ghirahim. I already know of Ghirahim from Hyrule Warriors and I like him and his hammy antics. His animations -- teleporting with those fun diamond-shaped light effects, or his very boss 'block a sword with two fingers, then steal the sword' attack, are pretty well done! Huge fan of Ghirahim as a character, and he actually serves as a pretty great 'overwhelming first  encounter with the main villain' encounter here. Not too much to say about the monster design. 

Pyrup: We're off to the Eldin region, and we've seen some of the enemies above -- the Fire Keese, the Red Chuchu, and some Red Bokoblins with differing weapons. And now we've got a newcomer to the Zelda franchise, this odd dude called a Pyrup! A... seal? A seal with the head of a fish? A goby fish, from the looks of it, complete with the fish's tail jutting out from the back of the skull. And a giant anglerfish lure. The Pyrup will look for a place to hide -- be it crevasses on the sides of the caves, or underneath the indestructible skulls that they utilize similar to hermit crabs. And they breathe fire. It's just an amalgamation of a bunch of animals that live in the ocean, except it lives in a lava environment. ..I mean, okay, sure. 

The only way to defeat the Pyrup is to properly toss or roll a bomb into where they're hiding. It mostly involves rolling the bombs into their hideouts, but some of the animal skulls have an opening only at the top. 

Magma Spume: Taking the place of the Toadpolis and the OoT Octoroks are the Spumes, which are this fun cross between a giant pufferfish and a toad. The Magma Spumes live in magma, and I love their design! They've got cute frog limbs, a huge set of lips, and weird slug-eyes. They poke their eyes out of magma and spit lava towards you -- after 'storing and processing the gas produced by magma'. The Magma Spumes are near-impossible to kill until you get bombs, or until you access a part of the Eldin region's Earth Temple's puzzle where you can squish them with a giant boulder. 

Lizalfos: Technically the miniboss of the Earth Temple, the Lizalfos show up a lot as a common enemy there too. I'll always have a soft spot for how the Lizalfos looked in the 'classic' Ocarina of Time or Twilight Princess, and I love how dorky the chameleon-based Lizalfosi looked in Breath of the Wild... but Skyward Sword's Lizalfos is pretty damn great! That angry almost snake-like head, the suckers on the tips of their fingers, the giant mace on the tip of their tail... and best of all, that giant rock gauntlet. Like the Deku Babas, the Lizalfos can spawn with either their right or left arm with this giant indestructible shield-arm. 

Absolutely fun to fight as they will keep trying to block your attacks while they spin around and try to sweep you off with their club-legs. 

Pyroclastic Fiend - Scaldera: The boss of the Earth Temple, Scaldera, isn't particularly memorable visually, if I'm being honest. A giant Pac-man rock monster with a single eyeball and a bunch of spidery magma legs? Eh. Its boss fight is even kind of a rehash of the iconic Dodongo boss fight from Ocarina of Time. It's neat to have another 'elemental' monster, so to speak, but I've seen more creative versions of the trope even in Zelda. 

But the buildup to Scaldera was great! So much of the puzzles in the Earth Temple revolves on giant rocks, and in the last leg you have to outrun a giant Indiana Jones rolling boulder. So when you slowly walk up towards the grand final battle chamber, with a steep incline, Ghirahim shows up and starts ranting about his 'scalding anger', and he transforms the boulder into Scaldera. And it's such a fun fight! Scaldera keeps trying to climb up the giant slide that you meet him in, and you have to keep tossing bombs to cause him to roll back down. Only at the bottom of the slide that he'll do an inhaling attack that causes the bombs to blow up his rocky armour. As you strip him of his rock armour and damage his eye, though, he gets increasingly faster and faster. I like him more than I thought I would!

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Overall, pretty fun bestiary (and game) so far. I'm around halfway through the Lanayru dungeon at the moment, and I think part 2 will involve the massive Lanayru region. 

Reviewing D&D Monsters - 3.5E Monster Manual I

The other huge bestiary that I had as a kid were the first two Monster Manuals for 3.5E, which is... a pretty interesting system, let's put it that way, due to the sheer volume of books that they pumped out for 3E and 3.5E. The system became pretty dang robust, but also pretty damn intimidating for anyone who wanted to get in. I basically took one look at the rules and said "nope, I'm not going to try to understand this" back in the day, and just focused mostly on the monsters and setting books. ...which, honestly, isn't that much different from how I treated 5E, but with 5E at least I made an effort to actually play the game. 

Anyway, 3.5E is pretty fun because, as I mentioned, there's a lot of content in this edition and with that insane amount of content is also a large amount of monsters for me to talk about! I'm going to talk in-depth about all the monsters that are completely brand-new to my 'reviewing D&D' series in this blog, i.e. I haven't covered them in 5E, although I'll talk about any notable differences or observations at the end after a break. 

Yeah, just like my coverage of 4E's Monster Manual, I'm going to put a bit of a disclaimer in saying that while I own the actual physical books, I did have to go online and download some pdf's in order to crop the images for the entries. 

Also, since these basic Monster Manuals tend to repeat a lot of monsters over the editions, I'm going to skip through a lot of the monsters I've covered in my coverage of 5th Edition's Monster Manual (for an index of all my 5E coverage, click here) because when I did that, I tried to talk about the history of the monsters over the multiple editions of D&D. I will add a little addendum near the end to talk about the monsters I've covered before if the 4E versions are significantly different or weird enough, but otherwise we'll be focusing on the monsters that are new to this blog or ones that haven't been adapted for 5E. This will probably be the last D&D review that I do in this way -- I'm not going to change the 1E, 3.5E and 4E Monster Manual reviews since they're already up, but in the (near) future, expect pre-5E D&D material to be formatted closer to a 'readthrough' where I'll briefly go through most of the monsters there.

(I've also gone back and tried my best to fix most of the broken images in the previous D&D articles over the past month... haven't been too much of a writing mood, but editing, I can do)

Without further ado...

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Achaierai

Again, a lot of the monsters that we associate with D&D still show up here, so we still have a lot of classics like Aboleths, Allips, Angels and the like open up the book. And, well, we also have the Achaierai. This guys shows up from all the way back in 1E's Fiend Folio! And I loved just how stupid this thing looks. It's a bird, but with four legs! And the body of this bird is so colourful and feathery and looks so much like a parakeet! ...and it's classified as "Large Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful)". Yep, not only are these giant monster-birds creatures that arrive from outside of the material plane, they are also intelligent enough to be lawful evil, and are explicitly noted to have 'a distinct taste for torture'. And in addition to being a giant intelligent four-legged bird, Achaierais can also unleash a black toxic fog that causes insanity. It might sound that I'm mocking this monster, but I'm not. I really actually love just how goofy this thing is, and how it's also still described as a pretty terrifying monster nonetheless.

I guess I'll talk about the 3.5E books in general? 3.5E has often been both praised and lambasted for having a bit too many numbers and stats, and while that's certainly true (the tables! So many tables!) I also think that they actually devote enough to describe just enough of these weird monsters that I actually feel like with a couple of paragraphs, they manage to tell me just enough about what the basics of these weirdo creatures really are. Not all the creatures get the same amount of care, but for the most part, I do appreciate that they try to give us a fair amount of lore to go with the numbers. 

Aranea:

We've got Ettercaps, Driders and just regular straight-up giant spiders, but 3.5E has the need to give us yet another race of monster spider-people. The Aranea in its natural form is just a giant spider... but it's got two 'humanlike arms' below its mandibles, and the front half of its cephalothorax looks like a deformed human head and torso. But it's also able to transform into a humanoid form to fool and interact with adventurers -- though it's also noted that there are slight irregularities like fangs and spinnerets on their anatomy. I actually like this monster a fair bit, and not just because they're giant spiders either -- I like that in addition to being an intelligent giant monster spider, the Aranea also has a little something extra, even if it's just shapeshifting. 

Archon:
Right, these guys! These guys are just 'unconventional angels', but hey, it's nice to know that the heaven-equivalent planes ("Celestia" in this edition) aren't just filled with nothing but angels. I know, I know, the basis of these fantasy worlds is to go out and fight evil beasts and demons and orcs and dragons, but I really do appreciate it when they end up introducing races that are nominally aligned with law and goodness. While most archons are lawful good in 3.5E, I think the idea is that the archons embody the 'lawful' side more heavily while angels embody the 'goodness' side. 

We've got three different Archons shown here. Lantern Archons are probably my favourite mostly because, well, angels are supposed to be weird in most religions that they show up in, but all D&D ever does is to make them chiseled statue-people with wings. And Lantern Archons? They're just happy little globes of gaseous light that speak in musical voices, and try and aid champions of lawful good. So... Na'vi? But angelic? Hound Archons are doggy-headed musclemen with red skin, while Trumpet Archons are bald green-skinned elves with wings. And they have giant trumpets. None of them get too much in terms of elaboration, though, which is kind of a shame. 

Arrowhawk

Wait, is this Pain's bird? From Naruto? Probably not. But I've always enjoyed the visual of a bird with a bit more wings and legs than a bird is supposed to have. The Arrowhawk in particular, I've always liked for looking like a bird with two extra wings... and ends up looking like some sort of bizarre beast. It's called an 'arrow', and I guess the four wings are supposed to represent the fletching of an arrow? I also love how the Monster Manual emphasizes that its body is 'snakelike', and I love the rugged texture of the Arrowhawk's beak. Just to add into the beast's "this creature has weird anatomy" vibe, the Arrowhawk has two tongues and two pairs of eyes -- one for each beak. There literally is no up and down for this creature! It's a creature from the Elemental Plane of Air, and considering that plane literally has no ground, well, I can kind of see why. The creature hatches from eggs that can levitate, and lives from birth to death without ever touching ground. Actually a very cool creature when I really sit down to think about this one. 

Athach

Mmm, yeah, I don't really like this one. Maybe it's because I never really thought too much about the many ogres, giants and trollkin in D&D, but... we kind of have a lot of them already, y'know? The Athach is just an ogre with an extra arm growing out of his chest. The Monser Manual lists a bunch of extra deformities, like its asymmetrical ears; and it likes jewelry and adorns itself with a lot of them, but otherwise? Yeah, I guess it's there just to be weird, but I felt like they could've gone a lot weirder to make this guy feel like a unique monster instead of a mutated ogre. 

Basilisk: Abyssal Greater

Normally I don't talk about the variant monsters in these reviews, particularly outside of 5E, but here, have the Abyssal Greater Basilisk; basilisks native to the Abyss. They're pets of demons and they have giant porcupine quills and a particularly cool-looking skull head. 

Belker
Okay, huh, this one is a weirdo. And honestly, kind of disturbing. Look at that face! The rest of the Belker is just a foggy ghost-creature with wings, but that flayed-flesh face and creepy knobbly hands attached to what would otherwise be a pretty comical body? Yeah. The Belker is a monstrous air elemental comprised of smoke. We don't actually learn anything much about the Belker, unfortunately, other than it's "undeniably evil" but is so reclusive that they "have no interest in the affairs of others". Okay, then, so it's... lazy? 

Celestial Creature, Fiendish Creature, Half-Celestial, Half-Fiend
These guys don't get any pictures, but hey, I guess we can talk about them a bit? Celestial Creatures are basically any creature that dwell on the upper planes, and are essentially similar to their counterparts on the material plane, but they shine with metallic colours. Not to be confused with Half-Celestials, though, which are the creation of... well, interbreeding between a Celestial and a Mortal. Fiendish creatures are, of course, the same thing, but for the lower planes. Again, also not meant to be confused with Half-Fiends. Kind of redundant, IMO, and I kind of appreciate that subsequent editions sort of tone it down. I think there's a joke-strip somewhere where depending on the parentage your character could be half-Celestial, half-Demonic, half-Draconic, a lycanthrope, a vampire, and not to mention all the other classes you have. 

Chaos Beast

It's a Shoggoth! Or something! I just like monsters that are like this, always undulating and having no real set form. This particular one shown in the artwork resembles something vaguely octopus-like, but those eyes peering out of the folds of flesh, or the disturbing mass of teeth and fingers that are reaching to the unfortunate bloke's head, or the spiky thorn-teeth on the inner side of the tentacles... pretty cool. The prose notes that this bulbous form is just one of its many, many forms, and it 'constantly melts and reforms, drawing each shape from every nightmare that has ever plagued humankind', and how it can shift from a mass of hooks and veins, into a tentacle monster, into a muscle monster. The only constant is apparently the ability to melt enemies into goo upon touch. Hilariously, though, the Monster Manual lampshades that for all of its fearsome appearances, the Chaos Beast isn't all that powerful aside from its goo-touch, because its constant transmutation prevent the coordination needed to do more complex attacks. 

Delver
Oh, I love this thing. I love how stupid it looks. It's like a massive slab of rock shaped like a train, with a grumpy look, a little flip-up smaller mouth that also resembles an eye, and giant hands in the shape of construction shovels or something. People point at something like the Digester, the Destrachan (who shows up here, too, and we covered it in 4E) or the Xorn for 'most stupid looking monster'. No, the Delver wins that prize for me, but all in the best ways ever. I love how silly this thing looks. This giant aberration just spends its time burrowing through rock by exuding corrosive slime, going around eating earth elementals and is described as 'shy'. Its real mouth is below its body, so it's like some sort of giant rock-slug, dissolving rocks with its corrosive slime then mopping up the remnants. It's also intelligent enough to strike a conversation, and the Monster Manual notes that adventurers can get information or assistance by bribing it with metal or tasty minerals like gemstones... but giving a Delver metal will turn it into essentially an addict that will hunt down other adventurers and miners that carry metal. That's kinda funny, actually. What a goober. I like this guy. 

Demons: Bebilith
Demons demons demons! Surprisingly, we've covered through a lot of the demons and devils, though many of them showed up in 5E's supplementary books like Volo's and Mordekaninen's. Some of the artwork are pretty cool, though, like metal band cover Mariliths and the surprisingly hulking Hezrou. Here are a few of the ones we haven't covered yet, starting off with a personal favourite, the Bebilith! Mostly because it's a giant demon spider. Bebiliths are actually already mentioned in 5E as the basis of the demonic Retriever. And... and just look at the Bebilith! Giant demonic spider with a prawn-head and giant spiky claws and a little wasp stinger! Yeah, I definitely appreciate that it's not just a giant spider, but one that's pretty damn monstrous. Its original 2E artwork even gives it a pretty cool skull-mouth below a mass of spidery eyes and a crown. The Bebilith's whole deal is that it's so brutal that it favours hunting other demons. 

Devils: Hellcat/Bezekira

The only devil here we haven't talked about is the Hellcat, or the Bezekira. I actually can understand why this one was cut out, since it's... not super interesting. It's just a glowing lion made out of light and sparks, and are just asshole devil cats. And I guess hellish cats just aren't quite as trope-y as hellhounds? I actually don't have a whole ton to say here, it sure is a fiendish lion.

Digester
Ah, here we go. Here we go with one of the more ridiculous entries here, and one that's very near and dear to my heart. When someone says "3.5E bestiary", this is probably one of the first images that pops up in my head. I love this thing. It's like, this malformed Velociraptor-looking creature with extra-spindly legs. It's got no arms, and instead of a regular dinosaur head, it's got an extended Jar Jar Binks snout, wiggly tentacle beards under that snout, and an eyeball-like opening that is actually a tube that shoots out corrosive acid at its enemy. And next to the acid-blowhole it's got two smaller slug-like eyes. What a goober. I absolutely love this thing. This is just a creature that exists because we needed something to spit acid at you. So we get this mutant acid-spitting dinosaur that looks like it belongs in an old-school platformer video game. Tragically we don't actually get any backstory to the Digester, so we don't really learn why it's made by whatever crazy mad wizard that did it. I love the description, too, where it's apparently a swift predator that can lurk anywhere from jungles to deserts, and can just reduce any human to 'a pool of glop' in seconds. And, again, even moreso than the Delver, I unironically really love this thing. It's so weird!

Dire Animal
Oh, right, this book has a segment for making Dire Animals. So if Dire Wolves, Dire Boars, Dire Bears and the like aren't enough for you, you can make Dire Katydids, Dire Macaws and Dire Wobbegongs. Not too much to say here, I actually enjoy the idea of just making giant versions of regular animals to attack you. 

Ethereal Filcher
Look at this weird motherfucker. Probably more at home in the set of Star Wars than D&D, I still like this utter weirdo. Classified as an aberration, this thing is... how do you even describe it? It's a big fat body with four arms with way-too-long fingers. Its one leg seems to be another arm with knobbly fingers. It's got a weird fish-like face on the tip of its neck with exactly one chin-tentacle, but also has an angry muppet face on its 'torso' with four eyes. As their name implies, their whole deal is that they are pickpockets, going in and out of the ethereal and material planes to steal things with their super-long arms. Despite their bizarre look, they live in the Material Plane and only use their ethereal phasing to stalk their marks. I actually like just how bizarre this thing looks; I don't think it would be too out-of-place for something like this to show up in like a Final Fantasy game or something. 

Ethereal Marauder:
I like this guy too! Identified as an extraplanar magical beast, the Ethereal Marauders are actually native to the Ethereal Plane, and it's like... it's another weird dinosaur-looking monster with two legs, but its triangle-shaped maw is actually a pretty fun and distinctive physical feature. Also love the massive claws at the tips of its large maw. The artwork doesn't make it particularly explicit, but the book identifies that each side of the triangle-shaped maw has an eyeball. Neat! I don't remember too much about the lore of the Ethereal Plane in 3.5E, but I do like the idea that these monsters just teleport into our dimension and just attack us as bizarre creatures from another bizarre plane.

Formian

Oh, hey, cool, ant-people! I like bugs, and I like ants, so therefore I like ant-people. Presumably named after the wood ant genus Formica, the Formians are... native to Mechanus? That is not what I expected from a race of centaur ant-men with helmets. But I guess in a sense, it makes sense, since Mechanus is like, a plane of lawful industry or something. I guess not everything in Mechanus is mechanical? That's an interesting spin of things. Formians are a massive hive that just want to colonize everything they see and incorporate every living thing in the world into Formian workers, essentially being expansionists. So like real-life army ants! Okay, I actually do like this idea, especially since in real life, there are some types of ants that actually capture broods of other ant species to enslave them. I also like the little detail that they don't actually enjoy enslaving non-Formians, but see it as a necessary cause to rid the world of all irrationality. Design-wise I like the centaur body shape, which keeps a lot of the ant's anatomy intact while also making it look somewhat humanoid. Most importantly, I think, is keeping the ant's buggy face intact. The book describes several classes of Formians -- Workers, Warriors, Taskmasters, Myrmarchs and Queens. As usual with these bug-hive monsters, the queen ant is bloated and stationary in the center of her hive, and communicates with her minions telepathically. I actually do like their concept. Not just the ant-person thing because I'm pretty much guaranteed to like bug-people, but the idea that they run around stamping out chaos in an attempt to bring every race into Formian order. 

Janni

We get the typical batch of genies -- the two most prominent ones, the Djinni and Efreeti. And then we also get the Janni. I think we never actually covered this guy in 5E or 4E? D&D's Janni are the weakest of the elemental genies because it's formed out of all four elements. It's kind of interesting because usually the trope is that those that are formed of all the elements are more powerful, but I guess the idea is that the elements sort of reject each other? The Janni also live together in small tribes of nomads... I guess the idea of 'lesser genies' are retooled into Genasi in subsequent editions, then? Not too interesting. 

Guardinal
Another race of Celestials, these guys are native to Elysium and are... well, furry angels. The idea  for them this time around is that they're very peaceful and happy in their home plane, but outside of Elysium they become no-nonsense evil-hunting warriors. They basically become the Punisher, roaming the planes for evil to confront. We've got two kinds of Guardinals here -- the Avoral, who is the bird-man, and the Leonal, who is the lion-man. I actually kind of like the face of the Avoral here, where it's still humanoid, but the shape of the head, with the very bird-like eyes and the cowl of feathers, really mark it as something different. Kind of a shame that the description doesn't actually tell us what makes the Guardinals so unique compared to Angels and Archons, though... we get a lot of description on the demon/devil/yugoloth differences, but the lawful good races are just kinda there. 

Inevitable

At least Mechanus's inhabitants get a whole lot more role! The Inevitable actually showed up in one of the 5E books we covered before in the Marut (the right side of this picture), but I do like the rather long bit here that describes the Inevitables. They are mechanical constructs whose sole aim is to enforce the natural laws of the universe... a bit of a tall order, honestly, considering how monumentally fucked-up the average D&D world tends to be. The Inevitables are created for a specific mission, and they hunt down those who transgress and mete out punishment. Being robots, they are single-minded in hunting down their prey, like a Terminator angel. It's honestly very interesting when you think about it -- not just as part of a D&D campaign, but as a monster concept in general. Being lawful neutral, they actually make it out of their way to minimize civilian casualties, though accomplices to crime are fair game.

The red-robed one in the middle is the Kolyarut, who are described as 'the ultimate enforcement clause in a contract', and will mete out judgment to whose who break oaths and bargains. So anything from unscrupulous merchants to army deserters, though they're smart enough to not hunt down those who break oaths against their will, accidentally, or oaths that are clearly not that serious. They also act as a bit of a lawyer, studying and willing to discuss the terms of the oath to understand it. This is actually the flavour used for 5E's Maruts. Maruts (right the one with a helm) in 3.5E are the Inevitable of Death, and specifically hunt down those who break the rule of death, so like, liches and stuff. The Zelekhut is the coolest visually, looking like a JoJo Stand with that face and those details. It's a bit hard to see since the Kolyarut blocks a part of it, but the Zelekhut is a centaur with massive golden wings, and I love the exposed inner workings of its body. Oh, and it's got two deployable spiky chains, as if it needs to be even more badass. The Zelekhut's perhaps the least interesting in terms of its cause, though; it just hunts those who flee justice. 

Krenshar
Huh, okay, didn't expect to see a weirdo-animal so soon. The Krenshar is noted to be a combination of a wolf and hyena, but I don't think any wolf or hyena has that frankly pretty gruesome flayed-dog-skull face. This, by the way, is not always the case -- the Krenshar has 'extremely flexible skin' on its face, and while hunting prey, it can pull back the skin to expose its inner muscles while screeching like a demon. Sort of like a far, far more grotesque frilled lizard or something. Kind of underwhelming compared to something like the Howler or Death Dog or Jaculi, honestly, I kinda wished that there's something more to this creature. 

Lillend
I actually thought that the Lillend shows up a bit more often, but I guess that's just because I owned the 3.5E Monster Manual first and I just thought that a lot of the monsters here are staples in D&D. The Lillend is a sky-mermaid, basically, having the upper body of a human, giant colourful bird-wings and the lower body of a snake. Or, well, a couatl, probably. Native chaotic-good extraplanar visitors, Lillends are essentially angels that focus on artistic expression, loving music and art and valuing them above everything else. Despite being artists, Lillends are apparently infamous for holding grudges, particularly against those who treat artists poorly. Again, kind of fun -- it's these sort of good or neutral extraplanar beings with a theme that's beyond just 'I enforce justice'. The Lillends can still behave as a pretty fun ally or antagonist depending on your story, but the fact that it's got a certain gimmick -- its love for artwork and beauty (including natural beauty, so you can make them a dryad stand-in) means that monsters like the Lillend or the Inevitables end up feeling so much more unique. 

Mohrg
One thing I particularly like about 3.5E is how ridiculous the sheer amount of random undead variants are. We've got a lot more (and some that are over-the-top in how ridiculously gruesome they are) in the side-books that I may or may not cover here, but the Mohrg here is a creature I like. It's just a skeleton, but with a mass of purple writhing viscera. It's not intestines or organs, though, which was my first thought, but some sort of bizarre worm-like colony of sorts. Most notable are the barbed worm-heads that you can see on its arms and mouth. There's no real explanation to what this mass of purple worms are other than it's part of the Mohrg, and the Mohrg itself has the origin of 'animated corpses of mass murderers who didn't atone for their crimes'. I guess it's just a mutated zombie, then? In addition to having worm-tentacles, Mohrgs can make those they kill into zombie minions. 

Nightshade: Nightcrawler & Nightwing
we covered the Nightwalker in one of the 5E books, but in 3.5E's Monster Manual, the Nightwalker is just one of various kinds of a species of powerful undead called the Nightshade. Nightshades are noted to be particularly powerful undead that has an aura of death around them, and have an aversion to sunlight. In an addition to the humanoid Nightwalker, 3.5E describes two additional variants. The Nightcrawler, who is a giant purple worm shaped shadow, and the Nightwing, who is a giant bat. Not too much to talk about, actually, their entries mostly describe their combat capabilities. 

Phantom Fungus

Okay, when I first saw 'Phantom Fungus', I thought we'd get a giant mushroom monster. Or a ghostly carpet of mould. Or something. I didn't expect... well, this. It's very cool, though! I like that it's an angry eyeless fang supported on four pillar-like mushy legs, and then bordering its maw are several sets of... I'm not even sure what those are, I guess something like tube fungi? I don't think they grow arranged in cylinders, though. And they each have these creepy tongues that end in hooks! Pretty bizarre. The description is honestly pretty interesting, too. Like its name implies, the Phantom Fungus is invisible. That's right, this weird four-legged thing that looks like the Otyugh's far cousin is invisible, and I love the description of how its prey can hear its squelching footsteps and the mouldy odour, but can't see the creature until it's dead. An odd but very welcome mushroom mosnter. 

 

Phasm
Huh! This aberration     here is... okay, it's basically just a giant amoeba, isn't it? Like, an amorphous blob with little organelle-looking things inside? D&D has never been a stranger to blob monsters, but I think this is the most explicit that creature inspired by a unicellular organism. It's actually sentient, and I quote, "usually leads a life of exploration, hedonism or philosophical contemplation". Okay, Phasm, that wasn't what I expected from a giant amoeba! It's also a shapeshifter that has no real material needs, and is extremely unpredictable on whether it will parley, attack or try to befriend you. I like this creature a lot more now. I like that it's not just an amoeba, but a philosophical amoeba. 

Rast

Another extraplanar creature, the Rast here is native to the elemental plane of fire. And I really like that 3.5E's elemental plane creatures are just so weird. I'm still not entirely sure what's going on here. It's got the head of a goblin-esque monster with a massive underbite, it tapers down into a chicken-like body, and it's got around a dozen wacky spider-like legs. It's not really arranged like a spider or a crab, though, and looks a lot more haphazard. It's just a massive glutton, apparently, and the Monster Manual notes that despite looking like a hideous organic monster of sorts, it's actually a creature of ash and cinder. Bizarre! I like him. 

Ravid
Yet another extraplanar creature, the Ravids hail from the Positive Energy Plane, this one is kinda weird. It's just a floating serpentine-dragon creature, but it's got just one clawed hand jutting out from his spine. I'm not sure why it's so weird, it's just a slightly weird arrangement of anatomy, but... it kinda feels kinda weird. Being a creature of Positive Energy, the Ravids move around and cause the animation of objects around them. I kinda feel like they could've explained a bit more about its behaviour or anatomy, but the idea of this weird hovering snake that roams around leaving a trail of living shoes and trashcans that dance around behind it is kinda neat. 

Shocker Lizard
A surprisingly mundane name, and one with a simple concept. The Shocker Lizard is a lizard that shocks people! It doesn't actually look like any real-life lizard or dinosaur, but more of a random combination of features. And I like it. It's got a theropod-esque body arrangement, but that head looks almost like a fanged frog. And, of course, it's got a pair of horns. I like it! It's cute. Apparently those horns and the rigid tail are where it generates electricity. It's kinda cute! I like this guy, it's like a Pokemon. I could totally see this being like just a regular creature that runs around in forests or as a wizard's familiar or something. 

Spider Eater

Oh okay what is this? This is cool! It's not really just a giant hornet or anything, but more like the most monstrous, nightmarish insect you could think of. The body is bulbous and looks almost tumorous, the head looks like an entire spider's head grafted onto a chitinous, armour-like plate, the mandibles are pretty long... the more you look at this guy, the weirder he is. giant fish-fin-like wings? And the Spider Eater's only got a single pair of legs, jutting out of his thorax with bird-like talons. That rear 'leg' is actually its stinger, but it's jointed like a bug leg. Bizarre! Oh, and as its name implies, the Spider Eater lays eggs parasitically in giant spiders -- except it's way, way grosser looking compared to real-life parasitic wasps. The Spider Eater is noted to be valued especially as flying steeds. Can you imagine how terrifying it must be? You could ride around on gyphons or giant bats, or you can ride around on this hornet-wasp-bat chimera. Very cool! 

Grig & Nixie

Sprites in 3.5E are a type of tiny reclusive fey that includes Grigs, Nixies and Pixies. Both Sprites and Pixies are different creatures in 5E and 4E, so we'll talk about Grigs and Nixies now. Grigs are seen here on the bottom left, where they are cricket-centaur fairies. I love how silly this is! The Grig has long antennae out of his hair, and he plays off the whole idea that little fairies are like insect-people... except instead of just tiny people with wings, they've got more bug anatomy. Neat! They're mischievous and apparently like to prank larger humanoids. Nixies, meanwhile, are slightly larger than Grigs and Pixies (pixies are similar to 5E Sprites, I think) and they hang out and inhabit lakes, essentially being tiny nymphs. 

Tendriculos

I approve of giant weird plant monsters, and Tendriculos here is a giant tendril monster! It's just a mass of leaves, branches and other detritus, arranged vaguely into a giant body with a maw and two whip-like arms. I like the little thin vines that seem to be supporting this thing. I really don't have much to say here other than I appreciate that between Battlebriars, Phantom Fungi and Tendriculos, we've got a bunch of weird plant-based monsters that aren't humanoid in shape. This guy's gimmick is that it can regenerate its plant-matter body very quickly,.. but only after it eats a whole bunch of meat. Okay!

Thoqqua

One of the fun additions from the original 1986 Fiend Folio (I really need to cover that book someday) is the Thoqqua, reimagined here with a head that's a glowing molten-metal spear head. I like that it's got a bunch of eyes around the molten-lava flesh. The Thoqqua is a burrowing worm that moves quickly through rock and is native to the Fire Plane and Earth Panes, and it just moves through the rock looking for minerals to eat. Nothing too impressive, but I do like the idea. 

Tojanida

AND THEN THERE IS THIS GUY. I remember this guy! Look at him. Look at this creature. Look at this mutant turtle monster and appreciate it. Instead of flippers, it has wings. Instead of a regular head and tail, it's head pops out of his dorsal plate and the mouth runs down its spine vertically like a venus fly-trap, and it's got little slug eyes. One claw juts out from the bottom-front end of its body, and one claw juts up from the rear-top end of its body. Looks at this bizarre mutant turtle. This one is a creature that comes from the Elemental Plane of Water, and it can swap around its limbs by retracting it and poking it out of any hole. It's also sentient, described as 'loquacious' about food. Actually not one I like particularly much, but still, what a bizarre monster!

Yrthak
Our last monster in the 3.5E bestiary that we haven't covered before is the Yrthak. I remember fighting one of these and it's such a weirdo! It's like, a pterodactyl but with a weird back-fin... and then you look at its head and realize that in addition to being jagged and stuff, it's got a giant drill-shaped unicorn horn and no eyes. The Yrthak's whole deal is that it's basically an apex predator that hunts with echolocation from its tongue... and can also unleash sonic-boom attacks from its horn. That's it, that's all the Yrthak is. It's a blind bat but also a dinosaur. I like this guy. 

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Well... that's the 3.5E Monster Manual I. It's been fun, actually, it's just kind of a shame that sometimes you get huge paragraphs of talking about the lore and behaviour of these creatures, and sometimes it's just a description of their abilities. Still, if I remember thing about 3.5E it's that there's a huge variety of monsters spread across its many, many sourcebooks. And honestly I really do enjoy looking through this Monster Manual the most for the simple fact that there's a lot of creatures here. 

Anyway, with the 4E and 3.5E base Monster Manuals done (and it was fast, since 90% of both books were covered in various 5E books), next up will be a series of articles on the Fiend Folio, where I'll finally sit down and dissect the original Fiend Folio and its large, large amount of bizarreness within!