Wonder Man S01E01 Review: Filmmaking

Wonder Man, Season 1, Episode 1: Matinee

This is an interesting concept for a Marvel TV show, and one that I didn't really pay much attention to when it was announced. Marvel fatigue hit me as it did everyone, and with the lowering quality of the MCU content in the past half-decade or so, I just never really took to this one. Not knowing much about Wonder Man beyond his role in the excellent Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes cartoon didn't really help matters. 

And... this is a different concept, if nothing else, meant to be a show that takes place in the Marvel Universe more than anything; similar to how Agents of SHIELD or Runaways were originally pitched as. Or at least that's how it begins -- I'm writing these reviews more or less as I watch the episodes.

We start off showing a bad-tokusatsu-show of 'Wonder Man', a superhero in the cinema. One of the fans watching the show would grow up into aspiring actor, our protagonist Simon Williams. And we instantly get thrust into a rather excellent -- if sad -- showcase of a 'cringey' scene as Williams gets overly enthusiastic about his role and the implications of his characters and props and whatnot... all for the role of a victim in a monster TV show with maybe two minutes of screentime. This leads to a discussion as he goes so deep into this side-character about how the professor would act or behave or maybe some kind of deep backstory or perhaps this textbook doesn't suit the character...

...and you know what? I get him. I'm embarrassed for him, but I also get him.

What, you think someone who writes so much about the minutiae about video game monsters and superhero TV shows in a blog wouldn't get this portrayal of an actor that hyperfixates on becoming this character? Of course I get him. 

Simon, unfortunately, disrupts the schedule of the filming so much that even though some members of the cast and crew are willing to entertain him, the director ends up being so ticked off that she fires Simon. Admittedly, she really could have put her foot down and forced filming to happen, but we wouldn't have conflict otherwise. Almost as if to kick Simon in the nuts, his girlfriend leaves him. Which was a bit over-the-top, but okay.

Simon then goes into a cinema hall, and runs into Trevor "Fake Mandarin" Slattery. Always loved the idea of Trevor returning for something more, with Ben Kingsley being a fantastic actor and a very welcome addition to the cast of this show. Simon recognizes Trevor and strikes up a quick friendship with him, and Trevor ends up telling Simon about an opportunity of them doing a remake of 'Wonder Man'. 

Excited and passionate about this, we go through a couple of scenes as Simon hunts down his agent, then fakes an audition call, before showing up in the audition. Simon goes through his 'methods' of diving super-duper in-depth into the character of Wonder Man, ending in a bit of a paralysis as he's trying to dive too deep into the minutiae of the script he was handed. Trevor, having finished his own audition, pulls Simon into the bathroom and gives him some pointers -- essentially telling him to stop overthinking, do some breathing pre-game exercises, and let instinct takes over. 

And Simon does so. I think he doesn't even read the script, but gives his own rendition of the 'classic' Wonder Man movie he watched with his dad. 

The episode ends with a calm, quiet sequence as Simon and Trevor catch up at a restaurant, with a lot of discussion about acting and passion. And as Simon heads off, Trevor gets a call from a mysterious person. Even while Trevor is flippant about it, it's clear that he's being sent to make contact with Trevor for some mysterious reason... and that Simon has superpowers. Dun dun dunnnn! 

And honestly... the superpowers stuff does take a backseat, and that was unironically what drew me in. There's probably some talk about how Wonder Man is a meta-commentary and addresses the 'superhero genre fatigue'... I don't think I would go so far as saying that, at least not with the couple of episodes I've watched before writing this first episode review. It certainly is about making a superhero movie, but it's more about exploring Simon's role as an actor more than anything. Perhaps there's some movie-making commentary about how much the actors (and maybe even the directors?) want to improvise or explore about the characters before Big Disney wags the finger at them? I honestly, genuinely do not care about any of those, just noting that these themes exist more than anything.

No, what's far more interesting is the charming setup behind the passionate-but-flawed character of Simon Williams, played by the excellent Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. Great performance that steals the show; and as I mentioned above, Ben Kingsley is always a delight to have... anywhere. It's a really easy, if slower, show to get into.

(I'll get to reviewing Daredevil: Born Again once I've watched the show; currently very behind on a lot of stuff. I did watch Wonder Man as the show premiered, but didn't get to do timely reviews.)

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner:

• In the comics, Wonder Man / Simon Williams was a crooked business rival of Tony Stark that was tricked by Baron Zemo into being transformed into a metahuman to infiltrate the Avengers. Getting a crisis of conscience, Williams would betray Zemo's Master of Evil, and the resulting conflict put him into a coma. (This comatose state would later lead to his brainwaves being used to create Vision). He would later be revived, and become an actor with his superpowers, which allowed him to perform his own stunts.
  
• Wonder Man was almost in the MCU as a cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2, with Nathan Fillon playing him -- although not in a major role, but rather as an in-universe show. 
• The Wonder Man movie/show seen in the beginning has the title character wear a costume based on the comic-book Wonder Man suit. 
• Trevor Slattery, a.k.a. the false Mandarin, was last seen in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, and has returned to the United States at some point. He mentions his most notable role of the Mandarin to Simon. 
• Simon mentions having seen Slattery act in Omnibus as Edgar Allan Poe. This is actually a real show, where Slattery's actor Ben Kingsley really did act in as Poe. 
• Simon walks past Mann's Chinese Theater, which was blown up by Aldrich Killian's agents in Iron Man 3.
• One of the posters in Hollywood was for 'Rogers: The Musical', seen and mentioned several times in Hawkeye. 

Let's Play Pokemon Legends Z-A, Part 47: Post-Post-Post Game

After the Rayquaza stuff, Corbeau calls me in again, and he brings me to his office to tell me that there are even more distortions, special hyperspace distortions, that I need to gather data so that they can scan for it. How do I do that? Points. Motherfucking points. More points in these repetitive nonsense gameplay that I really, really don't care about doing. The Special Scan system will let me uncover special, randomized 5* distortions with the potential of containing legendary Pokemon inside, but... yeah, at this point I don't really care.

Really would've engaged more with the hyperspace stuff if they had put more effort into it, but there really isn't motivation for grinding when all the fucking portals are the same thing repeated ad nauseum, is it? 

Anyway, I'm ignoring all of that. I am, however, doing a bunch of the side-quests that gets unlocked after the Rayquaza mission, which involves either my teammates or new legendaries. 

Taunie has been cleaning up AZ's room and found something interesting: the Prison Bottle, the item that in previous games would allow Hoopa to access its Hoopa Unbound form. Corbeau then calls in about the appearance of a strange new distortion, apparently in response to Hoopa itself panicking over seeing the Prison Bottle. Actually, this would've been something a bit more interesting to play with Hyperspace Dimension, instead of just 'let's wish really really hard for Rayquaza, donuts are green lol' bullshit we had. 

Ansha and Taunie give me the Prison Bottle and send me off to investigate the Hoopa distortion. Within the distortion is Hoopa Unbound, which I just have to fight, defeat and capture. And... there really isn't that much of a real narrative conclusion to this, where Ansha and Taunie just acknowledge Hoopa Unbound's dex entries, then note that Ansha's Hoopa isn't willing to transform to its unbound state. There... really isn't any story to this, and while I'm happy that we don't steal Hoopa from Ansha, it's also a bit odd that this sidequest kind of hints at Hoopa's backstory and nature as a transforming mythical pokemon and did absolutely nothing with it. 

Mable found a 'hacked poke ball' randomly. Mable tells me that Poke Ball hacking was one of the schemes that Team Flare did back in the day, which... I don't actually remember if this is something in Pokemon XY? I know Team Flare did attack the Poke Ball factory. Mable then gives me a hacked poke ball containing Volcanion inside, which is... quite random. She enlists my help to fight Volcanion, since the mythical Pokemon would be rather understandably upset once released from its hacked prison. 

There is a very badly-written attempt to bring in the jogger NPC, Yvon, and involve her to 'run around' and find a place to catch Volcanion, but it just turns out to be the basement of the Pokemon Lab. The actual arena is literally a black void, not even a reuse of the Mewtwo arena, which really tells me that they really tacked on the Volcanion mission with no real effort, huh? Hoopa became a mascot for the main DLC, and Dianice got a nice little sidequest with Carbinks and whatnot, but Volcanion doesn't even get good dialogue -- most of the dialogue either focuses on Team Flare hacking pokeballs, or Yvon going on a whole tangent about how Volcanion's destructive powers could create a jogging arena. Poor, poor, ignored Volcanion.

The shady salesman who has been selling me TM's for Mega Shards (a.k.a. the resource dump guy) starts telling me Genesect drives for Mega Shards. After buying all four, the shady salesman gives me shady intel on a location where the Genesect distortion is found. After catching Genesect, the shady alley salesman appears and congratulates me. I... okay, sure. I really would've liked more context on what organization you are with, nameless shady salesman. 

But hey, Volcanion and Genesect are properly out of mythical jail with this game! I appreciate that.

A random NPC tells me that a Pokemon that hasn't been seen before randomly appearing. It's Meltan. I capture the Meltan. Then, a distortion opens, and I enter the distortion. A little girl surrounded by some Meltans talk to me, asks me if I like Meltan, asks me if I like Melmetal, and gives me the Melmetal. I think this quest is supposed to be a bit creepy, but Meltan and Melmetal aren't creepy Pokemon, and the context behind this whole sequence just feels random and half-assed more than anything. 

Another rift opens and has a pair of mysterious ace trainers, 'brother' and 'sister', fight me with a Latios and Latias. They don't give me the legendary dragons, though, just the Latiosite and Latiasite. I need to engage with the stupid secret scanning to get Latios or Latias randomly. I do like the creepy nameless NPCs here, though. It does take a bit of a wider franchise knowledge, but it does seem to imply with the stunted dialogue that 'Brother' and 'Sister' are like psychic projections of Latios and Latias themselves. Or maybe I'm trying to look too deep into a sidequest that the game designers didn't actually care too much about. 

Jett tells me that Quasartico Inc. found the mythical Pokemon Magearna, a Pokemon that I've always felt worked a lot better with Generation VI lore than VII. Magearna is in her Poke-ball form, but Quasartico has been hard at work developing a mega stone for her. You... you can just do that? Just make a new mega stone for a Pokemon? None of this is really detailed, but after giving 999 mega shards or whatever (which I have just burning a hole in my inventory) I present the stone to Magearna, which wakes up and shows off an adorable animation of having a bouquet of flowers pop up from her robot hand. 

Yet another Pokemon released from mythical jail is Marshadow. I actually like this quest quite a bit! The NPC that was part of the Quasartico protest group comes up to me and notes a rumour about a spooky ghost girl and other paranormal tomfoolery in Lumiose City. Unfortunately, still no follow up on 'you are not the one', the most famous unexplained ghost girl in Lumiose, but this leads to a nice puzzle with Marshadow, where I need to find a specific battle court and wait until the 'shadow falls over it'. Which is the shadow of Prism Tower! That is an actually clever little puzzle. 

What's not clever is that weather matters so little in this game other than rain and Sliggoo's evolution, so I waited like a dumbass for a whole day with cloudy weather. Which is different from sunny weather, because the shadow doesn't appear! And the shadow moves so slowly, too. I'm all for clever puzzles, and this is so much cooler than identifying random combinations of buildings or whatever. But the waiting was quite a bit agonizing. 

Anyway, Marshadow gets to emerge up from the shadow of Prism Tower and I get to catch him. That's nice. 

Vinnie gives me a quest, to get a Mimikyu for his daughter. In my hunt for Mimikyu, I ended up catching a shiny one in all its monochromatic glory! Huzzah! I really, really love Mimikyu, so getting a shiny one is a great moment for me. I didn't even realize until I looked in my box to see the horde of Mimikyu I quick balled, though, which was an even bigger surprise. I like Vinnie, and his characterization as a big professional mafia-thug-looking guy that has a sweet spot for his kid. He notes that he worries about Mimikyu being an unsuitable Pokemon for his child, but his daughter threatened to take back the Buneary-Pancham hairband. That's adorable. 

Lida and Naveen both get a nice little quest to wrap up their characterizations, which after they're sidelined and reduced to jokes in the DLC, is a bit unexpected but very heartwarming. Lida is in a funk and decides to battle me, before confiding that she's got a bit of an impostor syndrome going on especially compared to myself, Korrina or Taunie. She also drops the rather random lore drop that she's Tierno's half-sister with different mothers, and that the two of them never actually met each other. That raises some questions, but, um... okay? That's a bit random for something that's not going to be followed up this game. Korrina also shows up in this sequence to cheer Lida up. 

Naveen tries to get Ansha's Hoopa to help him sneak to his house or something, but Ansha gives him a bit of a stern talking-to. After the fight to essentially grow a backbone. Naveen confesses that he doesn't really think much of his grandmother's style of parenting, but he can't bear to hate her. And he apologizes to Ansha for bitching about not seeing family when Ansha can't see her mother all the time, but Ansha surprisingly goes on a little speech to Naveen to get him to embrace 'no contact', or as close as you can get to mentioning that in a children's video game. Naveen is still optimistic that by doing great things for his sister and his career that his grandmother might reconcile with him, but the conclusion to this story is to ignore toxic relatives. Not bad, Nintendo! That's a good little conclusion to Naveen's story arc. 

After beating enough opponents in the Infinite ZA Royale, a secret sidequest from the original game pops up, and it's Jacinthe summoning me to her hotel, and she has Le Super-Tournoi de Jacinthe O, which... replaces all the competitors in the Jacinthe tournament with Jacinthe. That's actually a funny joke. I have to fight Jacinthe like 5 times to complete this quest and complete her little sidequest. Neat. 

There is also a sidequest with a random lady called Marcia, who's looking for Jacinthe. She's her previous fighting partner (sure, 'partner'...) and basically wants to be partners with Jacinthe again. However, after the double battle, Jacinthe reaffirms the depths of her Stockholm's Syndrome loyalty to Jacinthe and the status quo is preserved. Sure. Whatever.

A very cool one is the sidequest that unlocks Frenzy Plant, Blast Burn and Hydro Cannon, the three ultimate attacks for the starter Pokemon. Just like Pokemon Adventures and Ultima ('Kimberly' in the translation I read), there's an elderly lady that acts as the wielder and master of these ultimate moves... but I need to do the trials! With the starter Pokemon of Legends ZA, I need to fight with them alone against the three other starters in this game (the Kalos, Hoenn and Kanto starters). I do have mega evolution, so it's not that bad, and it was particularly easy with Feraligatr having Ice Fang; and Emboar knowing Thunder Punch makes two of the three water-types easy to handle. But it was a bit more challenging with Meganium, and required some brute-forcing. That felt like a really cool accomplishment, though. 

And for the last mission I did in Legends ZA, I end up going up to the rooftop to fight Korrina, 1v1, with Lucario against Lucario to get the horrid Mega Lucarionite Z. It's... it's honestly a silly game of chicken, similar to the Farfetch'd mission or the Raichu mission except at level 100 with a 'Z' mega evolution, it's always a one-shot from Korrina... and starting up the battle requires like so much button mashing as I have to go through the dialogue, and then the two mega evolution animations... it's a bit silly. I spammed Dig and Protect, which isn't exactly what Lucario really should be known for. Not much in lieu of interesting dialogue, and Mega Lucario Z might be one of the few Pokemon designs that I genuinely dislike. 

_____________________________

Oh! One last last mission is a super-hidden mission with not much logic behind it, which unlocks Mega Zeraora. The triggers for this mission is having done the Diancie and Mewtwo 'EX' missions which are, to my knowledge, wi-fi exclusive during the releases of the game and the DLC respectively. But the way to get it feels nonsensical! In games like old Final Fantasy or Legend of Zelda whatever, the worlds and NPCs are small enough and there usually is some foreshadowing to such super-hidden missions. But I have to go through a bunch of trading missions to give a Canari Bread to a random kid that's on a very random building near wild area two with no rhyme or reason, who accepts trading of any items. He gives me a popping candy, and for absolutely no rhyme or reason, I have to bring it to Ansha, who gets inspired to make a brand-new donut. 

Thankfully, I have a stockpile of mega berries otherwise I wouldn't have cared to do this mission. 

Anyway, the Zeraora boss fight is a bit obnoxious, but at least it's a bit more skill-intensive in dodging the zipping lightning bolts than the Lucario 1v1. The problem is that once Zeraora gets reduced down to around 1/3rd of its health, it starts zipping around as a lightning bolt across the battlefield, the little shit, which makes it so hard for my Pokemon to lock on. But anyway, I caught Zeraora and got the Zeraoranite or whatever. In this mission, Taunie was late and Emma substitutes in as the third member of the battle team, but... but the writing for the DLC is really so basic that I can't muster much of a reaction. 

Honestly, this DLC has... really soured me a fair bit on the game, which isn't fair. The base game was really enjoyable, and if we remove the silly bullshit 1v1 battles, the real-time battle system is really fun! But yeah. This is my last entry for Legends ZA. Not quite a nice round number like 45 or 50, but it was a fun, if frustrating with the grinding, ride. 

Random Notes:

• So for context, you guys would be seeing these articles in like, March or April. I did a lot of the DLC stuff in late December to early January, but the insane amount of grinding leading up to Rayquaza led up all the way to February, and a lot of these took even more time. 
  
• Yvon and Mable did go on a whole tangent about a different part of Kalos that seemed to have been destroyed by Volcanion, and this would've probably been an interesting buildup to an area we're going to explore later on... but let's be honest, legends ZA isn't going to let us explore anything. 
• Both Lida and Naveen have added a Pokemon from the DLC lineup to their parties. Naveen added the stylish Toxtricity, and Lida adds a Tatsugiri. 
• I also finished up a couple of the more annoying sidequests:
• One of them needs me to walk down an alley with a Farfetch'd holding a leek and fight three Farfetch'd users in a row, with only my Farfetch'd. I had to rely on exp candies to make the random Dux I captured and steroid it up to level 100, then keep using Protect followed by Brave Birds followed by potions. 
• Another overly long one needs me to choose between the Sawk Squad and the Throh Throng. 'Throng' just sounds dirty, so I also force-feed a hideous Sawk with exp candies, and bulldoze a Throh user in a little competition. I like the spirit of this quest, I just don't particularly care for Sawk and Throh. 
• It is pretty great that the games are slowly 'de-mythicing' a lot of Pokemon, isn't it? Legends Arceus made every Pokemon from Generation IV catchable, Sword/Shield made Keldeo available, and Legends ZA turned a whole bunch of Generation V-VII ones available. That's really nice, especially since the distribution for the pre-3DS mythics are quite shoddy for most international audiences. 

Reviewing Monsters: Elden Ring - Shadow of the Erdtree, Part 3

So yeah, in my bit of a mad dash to make sure I don't accidentally break the NPC quests after approaching the Shadow Keep, I haven't really been exploring the main storylines of the game yet. It is quite frustrating. I did admittedly not lose out on too much, but I also used a guide and some exploits to otherwise get to talk and unlock some of the Thiollier/Moore conversations. I did miss out on all of the Moore cookbooks, and some interactions with Sir Ansbach and the Hornsent but that's not the worst that could happen. 

I did think that was a really poorly designed 'quest progression' because I didn't even enter the castle, I merely approached it. Bit of a shame, cause that did put a dampener on my runthrough of the game. 

But anyway, I've been mostly doing exploration of the dungeons that are hidden on the first plains that we're dropped into, as well as running around unlocking maps and areas. After making sure which areas I shouldn't go to, I was spending a lot of my gameplay time just running around, exploring and clearing minor dungeons.

_____________________________

Jar Innards

We'll start off with a dungeon 'attached' to the Belurat Tower Settlement, the Belurat Gaol. The relatively expansive dungeon is filled with a lot of Living Jars, seemingly being created and being venerated. Massive altars and actual Living Jar enemies are there... but this time, some of the jars pop up to reveal these things. The Jar Innards! Dialogue with the cheerful Alexander and Jar-Bairn from the base game have already clued us into the fact that the Living Jars actually do contain the amalgamated flesh and presumably souls of the people stuffed into them... and of course, the DLC gives us a nice showcase of what they look like. 

The Jar Innards are Resident Evil-esque masses of tumorous flesh, and you can make up a lot of flesh-blobs and faces into it. There does seem to be a 'core' body in the middle of the tumourous blob, with a primary pair of legs that shamble around, and a primary pair of hands that hang uselessly. Is this what Godrick and Godfrey's "grafting" was based on? Item descriptions found around the dungeon note that there's some sick ritualistic deal to the creation of the jars, noting that this is the 'cycle of death and rebirth', and that 'they might be reborn int sainthood'. However, the actual ghosts found in the place are begging to not be stuffed into a jar. With the jars themselves seemingly utilized in the main game's Erdtree worship, it is eerie to see the more brutal insides of the Living Jars. 

And the way these things fight are also quite pathetic. they just lunge at you and more likely than not flop onto the ground. They do like to hide under thick armoured jars, which tend to take a hit to break before you actually start to damage the monster beneath. It's cute, in a Zelda enemy kind of way. A bit less cute, however, is the Jar Innard's grab attack, where it extends a massive tentacle of sinew, flesh and bone to grab you and pull it into it, at which point it starts pounding at you with its many claws. 

Demi-Human Swordsmaster Onze
The boss of the Belurat Gaol is the surprising Demi-Human called Onze. He's a unique model and a swordsmaster, and he fights by literally disappearing, teleporting around and then unleashing giant glowing blades. The fandom has taken to comparing him to a design based on Master Yoda, albeit more hostile, and I do agree. Onze apparently had once devoted himself to the 'star-lined sword', but imprisoned himself willingly within the gaol because of some terrifying truth he learned. Okay. 

Greater Potentate

Found in a location called the Bonny Village where are 'potentates'. The strange term has been used before as a term of respect for Jar-Bairn, the Living Jar living in Jarburg, a rank given to our buddy Diallos. The Potentates were implied to simply be guardians of the Living Jars, and the term is an archaic word for monarch. In Bonny Village, we find out that the Greater Potentate near-naked chubby Hornsent men with gigantic cleaver knives, and the implication is that they go around killing a people called the 'shamans' and stuffing them into Living Jars. 

The only time we've heard of the word 'shaman' in the game refers to the spellcasters of the Ancestral Follower people, although I don't think the two are specifically linked here.  The shamans' flesh, it seems, 'melds well' with others. {erhaps the 'main' body of the Jar Innards are these 'shamans'? Why are they chopping people up and making them into Living Jars? Regardless, the visual image is... is a rather creepy one, looking wild and honestly quite psychotic. 

Black Knight Garrew / Black Knight Edredd

We've got a couple of named Black Knights. Garrew serves as the boss of the Fog Rift Fort. I don't find the Black Knights anywhere as cool as the Tree Sentinels or Crucible Knights, but Garrew is a bit more notable because he uses some crucible spells... which I find odd because as a minion of Messmer, isn't he supposed to oppose the Crucible? In addition to some spells we have seen, Garrew has a hilarious one where he manifests a cartoony set of lips on his chest, and a chameleon or frog tongue zips out and pulls us towards him so he can bash us with his hammer. That came so out of nowhere and most certainly not what I expected from a big burly knight guy! 

Black Knight Edredd serves as the boss of the Fort of Reprimand, which appears to be a torture-haven. Unlike the other Black Knights, he wields a twinblade which makes him surprisingly fast. He also uses crucible spells, although the 'wings' variant that we have already seen multiple times from the Crucible Knights.

Putrescent Slime
In the 'base' Elden Ring, the slimes have mostly been skeletal or blood, and tied to either places where a lot of people die or the Mohgwyn Dynasty. However, the slime model has been reskinned for some fungus-themed slime enemies in the base game... and purple, putrescent slime-lumps here. 

The 'putrescence' is only found in a dungeon on the south side of the Lands of Shadow called the Stone Coffin Fissure, mostly filled with gravebirds, souped-up abnormal stone clusters and these slimes. The slimes, drop unique 'Congealed Putrescence' that apparently 'oozes from stone coffins', and are created from the tainted remains of the impure flesh within the coffins, or something. It's only found around the Fissure, and presumably have something to do with the unnatural death in this location... or with St. Trina herself -- I don't have the full story on her yet, but she's essentially a fragment of the demigod Miquella who was cast off and sealed within this location.  

Anyway, in conjunction with the 'death doesn't really work properly' themes of the game, apparently improperly-interred flesh will manifest into these 'putrescence'. Without the proper burial rites of the Erdtree Burial practiced in the Lands Between, or even the deathflame/ghostflame of the Deathbirds, apparently this is what happens to dead bodies! 

Putrescent Knight

The Stone Coffin Fissure dungeon is a eerie one, with giant coffin-boat structures jammed into the side of the massive chasm, purple flowers growing everywhere, and eventually leading to a strange part with a lot of animals seemingly kneeling in reverence, while the only way for you to proceed is to jump on a 'leap of faith' a long way down to fall onto an even deeper subterranean location where this thing awaits to fight you. 

The Putrescent Knight is, at first glance, 'just' a knight. It's a humanoid figure riding a horse, with a ridiculously large crescent-shaped blade it swings around. But the more you look at it, the more wrong it looks. But then there are some things that are a bit odd. For one, the horse is eyeless, and its lower body dissolves into a trail of goop that merges with the arena it's running in. 

The rider is even weirder. The head is the most obvious, having a snake-like neck and ending in a orb with two glowing eyes and no mouth. That alone sets it apart from the legions of samey 'knight in full armour' enemies we've already had in this game. The rest of his body seems to be made up of an oversized ribcage, and there's one too many joints in his weird arms. Some people have posited that the Putrescent Knight seems to have a horse's ribcage, which... I'm not qualified enough to make comparisons of, but I could see the idea of the horse's skeleton bursting out of a muscle-and-skin bag, terminating at where the eyes cut off from the face for some reason? That's weird. The rider and horse do separate from each other a couple of times, so they aren't actually connected... but who knows how an ooze-skeleton creature is supposed to 'naturally' act?

The Putrescent Knight itself is an unsettling fight, though. It may be a skeleton, but it's a weird goopy skeleton -- which means that its joints don't work like a normal human, allowing it to have some dizzyingly weird combos. In addition, the Putrescent Knight is able to summon giant globs and waves of this putrescent material. In its ultimate move that it does when it goes below half-health, the horse expands into a gigantic glob and spews goop everywhere. I do like this guy, and it's a bit of a surprise to find him at the end of the dungeon.

St. Trina

After defeating the Putrescent Knight, you get to meet St. Trina herself, the being that has apparently been purifying the putrescence... who is a strange sleeping woman whose body has mutated into a plant. There is a bit of a silhouette where the flowing petals are shaped to look like a woman in a dress, but the actual head and arms of St. Trina is located where one would find the chest in a regular human. She's depicted as slumbering and from all of the hints from the base Elden Ring game, we know that St. Trina is a being associated with sleep and dreaming. This DLC confirms that St. Trina is a cast-off part of the kindly demigod Miquella, and sealed within this location. It tracks with a lot of the 'gods sometimes have multiple personas' theme we see in the original game, with Marika/Radagon being two beings and personalities in a single body, and Miquella's own twin Malenia having split off at least five 'offshoots' that are implied to previously been part of her. 

St. Trina herself is not exactly an enemy, but just a strange immobile figure that we can 'imbibe' the nectar from. Said nectar gives us eternal sleep... i.e. it instantly kills us. Except do that enough times, and St. Trina will start speaking to us in the moments between death and resurrection, asking our aid to stop Miquella's ascension to godhood for his own sake. 

Thiollier

...all this is a bit of an intro to this character, Thiollier. Technically a character that I'm supposed to have some interaction with before, Thiollier sits a bit separate from all the other charmed adherents of Miquella, and is a sickly man in a mask that's obsessed with poisons. He is also extremely fanatical about Miquella, having made the pilgrimage down to the Stone Coffin Fissure's depths after we cleared out the Putrescent Knight. But St. Trina doesn't speak to him, and only us. And when we try to share those words with him, he gets so jealous that St. Trina is picking favourites, and attacks us. He fights with poison perfume bottles, and I think most of the new NPCs in the DLC fights with one of the new weapon types... but it's not really anything new since the Perfumer enemies have been using those weapons before; it was just inaccessible to the player. Thiollier is an interesting character concept, but I find Thiollier probably one of the least interesting of the NPCs introduced in Shadows of the Erdtree. Admittedly, I did miss out on a chunk of his earlier dialogue, but I didn't feel sorry at all kicking his butt. 

One Piece 1179 Review: He's Here

One Piece, Chapter 1179: Imu Nerona Descends

Yeah, a bit late to the party with this chapter; real life stuff got in the way... but what a chapter it is, huh? 

The entire chapter is essentially, well... the descent of Imu on Elbaph. So he actually does finally make a move, he actually does decide to show his face. And I think I can reasonably say 'he' now, and while I've enjoyed the little game we've been playing with Imu being a featureless ghostblob, I am quite happy that it is both a silhouette, but also technically a form of Imu. Turns out Oda can have his cake and eat it in terms of disguising what Imu looks like while also making it make sense in-universe. 

The entire first half of the chapter has the Gorosei -- or at least the four pre-existing Gorosei -- try and talk Imu down from actually going down to the Lower Realms. Garling, meanwhile, is a lot more apathetic, shrugging it off as a wise move on Imu's part. Garling makes some note about how Shamrock's arrival has helped to quell the unrest, but the food situation is really hurting them. It's a rather interesting choice that the manga hasn't really shown us who is besieging the Holy Land. The easiest assumption would be Dragon's Revolutionaries, but the fact that we haven't shown who's doing it has made a lot of people speculate that Blackbeard is making his move, or perhaps even an oddball like the Marines having rebelled offscreen?

We get a brief sequence of York getting some karmic fate as she's starving while Garling just tells her to piss off and do her job and get the Mother Flame up and running. Ju Peter seems to be the most hesitant in letting Imu out, but Nusjuro notes that there's way too many situations going around to be sparing Marine Admirals. Warcury even wants to head onto the battlefield himself and do some giant boar action, but Imu then goes onto a whole rant about how they've been overconfident, how they've been slothful... goes on a flashback onto a bunch of scenes that he's seen in the past... and then creates the teleportation circle. 

We get a nice reaction shot from all five Gorosei as Imu teleports away, and I've gotten quite interested in seeing how the five Gorosei differ from each other. Garling, of course, is all happy to let Imu do whatever he wants, noting that they don't have the right to stop him. Marcus Mars is the most emotional out of the five, showing the most emotion out of any Gorosei that's still alive. He's actually panicking! Warcury also looks concerned, implying a couple of times in the chapter that something will happen if he leaves the castle. Nusjuro and Peter, meanwhile, are a bit more stoic.

We go back to Elbaph and do a bunch of post-battle stuff. In something I kind of glossed over in the last chapter, Summers' heart is actually robotic! Or at least, metallic. Gerd has found Summers and is holding him apart while his body tries desperately to rejoin back together. Zoro threatens to crush the metallic heart, and by Summers' lack of a poker face, we can immediately infer that that is the Legend of Zelda boss-fight style weakness of the God's Knights. As much as I like the rest of the chapter... kind of a bad action manga writing choice to have this be randomly inserted post-battle with no buildup, instead of it being found out by someone fighting Summers or Killingham during the last couple of frankly anticlimactic battles against the Knights of God. 

Killingham is still tied up like chunks of meat from a tree by Sanji, promising bloody revenge while Sanji is acting all cool and mocking him that he doesn't even remember his name. 

Loki, Luffy and Ragnir are trying to regain their food by eating the frozen food in the school. Luffy is having trouble eating, and there's a brief bit of power lore-dump as Loki notes that only Ragnir can melt his own 'flash-frozen' ice. 

And then Imu descends. A gigantic fire pillar appears next to the castle, and four more appear. And a gigantic pentagram magic circle appears in the clouds. Interestingly, music starts to play. Music being affiliated with Imu isn't something surprising, as the opposite number of Mr. "Drums of Liberation" Nika, but the houses and trees sprouting devilish cartoon faces and dancing around reminds me of Big Mom's Soul Soul Fruit. It's interesting! What are the connections that Imu's powers have towards other Devil Fruit powers, then? 

A giant circle of flame is carved around the branch where the castle is, and a final central fire pillar slams down right onto the castle. Zoro identifies the explosion of Conqueror's Haki, and indeed we see it knocking out a bunch of the giant children. 

Imu is teleported inside the castle, and immediately coughs up blood. Is what Warcury is worried about Imu's health? Is something harming or killing Imu if he steps out of Pangaea Castle? It's also interesting to see Imu coughing in his blob-form... before he transforms, of course. 

In his transformation, half the castle explodes. The giants that are rushing towards the castle are surprised, Summers and Killingham recognize (presumably) the Haki and are terrified that the Great One is there in person... 

And Imu perches on top of the spire. He's got a pretty cool design, the sort of played-straight-with-no-laughs-cool design that I don't think One Piece has really done before, except maybe for Crocodile and Akainu. With all other villains, Oda has made it a masterclass in making them goofy in some way -- Kaido's little legs, Enel and Doflamingo always giggling and laughing, Big Mom's entire design... but Imu, at least, just looks badass. He's got dark skin (either red or dark brown like a Lunarian, people can't decide), curled devil horns, pale hair, and a devil tail that spirals around the rooftop where he's perched on. The tail has a bunch of skulls on it. He's got a ring on his back, a ring of black flames filled with more of his 'Rinnegan' eyes, to borrow a Naruto term. And he's got tattoos resembling circuitry lines all over his arms? He's also got a spear, or a guan dao, with a zig-zag blade on the end. 

I like this design. I like this design a lot. This introduction is also pretty great, and I appreciate showing off the Gorosei's reaction to Imu. Now does that make me feel any better about the last couple of chapters? No. I still feel they're rushed, and while not to the degree of some of the worst parts of One Piece, I still find them a blemish otherwise on the arc's pacing and storytelling. But Imu is here, and I'm excited to see what we are going to get next!

Random Notes:

• Garling also makes a cryptic note about the 'former navy headquarters', which could really just mean anything. Has the Marines rebelled? Has the headquarters fallen? What has happened? 
• The Marines rebelling seems to be a no-no at least from dialogue in this chapter, where one of the Gorosei suggests sending Marine Admirals to Elbaph, but it's also interesting that we haven't seen the Marines in a while either. 
• We last saw the Mother Flame in Egghead, so I guess they just moved it to Marie Geoise off-screen? Like, the whole facility with the Mother Flame? 
• The teleportation circles that the Gods Knights use can't teleport food, I guess. We've seen it teleport clothes, weapons, and Summers's lounge chair... but maybe it's an 'organic matter' thing, otherwise they would've teleported the children from Elbaph away if they could. 
• Presumably, while dismembered, Summers can't use his Thorn Thorn Fruit, otherwise it would be easy to get himself out of Gerd's clutches. 
• I like the random joke of Franky questioning if he should turn Usopp and Brook into cyborgs. Terminator Brook would be awesome! 
• I think people have agreed that Zoro's group is the one closest to where the castle is. Thanks, people in the internet, because I have very terrible character spatial presence when reading a manga! 

Let's Play Pokemon Legends Z-A, Part 46: Alpha and Omega

After grinding, after miserable, miserable grinding, Corbeau finally calls me to Centrico Plaza, where we meet Grisham and Griselle at the cafe truck. Griselle makes a bit of a crack that Corbeau only orders drip coffee, as if they've suddenly gone to penny-pinching for some reason. Corbeau ignores this barb, but thanks me for helping to protect Lumiose City -- his city -- as he gestures at Prism Tower. I actually do like this scene a bit; it helps to show why Corbeau is taking the role of the point-man for this endeavour. "The things that need doing are sometimes the hardest to do."

Corbeau tells me that I need to get to the Ruby and Sapphire Distortion. A bit on the nose there, but okay. The Rust Syndicate has been researching recipes... and they find out that the ingredient they need is Hoennian Salt. Which turns out Grisham has. Grisham is a bit confused how they know about his secret ingredient, but it's a bit of a silly question. They're the mafia! Of course they know everything about everyone. It is a bit silly as well that apparently the usage of Hoennian Salt (which doesn't even sound that impressive) is 'leverage'. 

With a goofy grin as he does a pose, the Rust Syndicate claims that they didn't even do any digging or snooping around for this information; they figured out the secret ingredient due to Phillippe's palate. That's... that's cute, actually. 

Ansha then gives me a list of flavours, similar to the Darkrai donut, that I need to create the 'Alpha Old-Fashioned Donut' and 'Omega Old-Fashioned Donut'. Which, of course leads me to go and do a bunch more grinding in hyperspace because I just don't have enough high-level berries, because the game wants me to spend the high-value berrieds to create high-value donuts to go and do the mega evolution rifts so I can grind points and arrrrrghhghghghghg. 

Anyway, I got the Groudon donut done first. It looks like an omega sign. Wonderful. 

Entering the Ruby Distortion, we enter a subterranean cave with massive ruby-coloured crystals. The set design for this is phenomenal, with a gigantic lava pool set up like an omega symbol, a massive stalagtite of rubies pointing down, lava waterfalls, and Groudon sealed in a statue-like form at the end. It looks amazing. But even more amazing is if I look up, and instead of a ceiling, it's an impossible reversal, where water is flowing upwards to a different chamber... the Sapphire Distortion. Kyogre's lair! See, this is the kind of psychedelic, weird hyperspace locations I'd rather explore, not just muted glitchy Lumiose. 

Groudon then awakens, cracking open from its statue-like prison, and we get a two-parter fight. First, against regular Groudon, and again against Primal Groudon. After all the grinding, though, I just don't have the energy to really pay attention to thsi fight. Groudon sure uses some of his iconic moves, like his signature Precipice Blades, and some Earth Powers and Solar Beams. Abilities don't exist in Legends ZA, but the raid Primal Groudon still has an aura that prevents Water-types, something that Taunie panics about. 

I primarily rely on Mega Zygarde, because ironically Primal Groudon is weak to its own Ground-typing. 

Groudon falls and I also get the Red Orb, which allows Groudon to Primal-revert any time it's in battle. Which is similar to Complete Form Zygarde in this game, where they can actually just stay in these super forms without a timer essentially for the duration of a whole battle royale or a distortion. The game gives a cutsccene where Corbeau asks Korrina about the difference about Primal Reversion and Mega Stone, but we already know that from ORAS. 

Next up is Kyogre, whose rift is in Wild Zone 5. Again, the location is wonderfully rendered. Perhaps a bit less impressive than the glowing effects of Groudon's magma, but the water pools being arranged like an alpha sign, the waterfalls, and the massive crystal... and just like Groudon, Kyogre is in a statue-like form at the end of the dungeon. And Groudon's lava location is, of course, on top of this. 

Again, the raid is in two parts. Kyogre, and then Primal Kyogre. Kyogre uses a combination of Water and Electric-type moves, and I absolutely love how Origin Pulse is portrayed in this game. Primal Kyogre actually has the little orbs that shoots the pulses appear and start pointing in different directions as it spins around, like a proper dang video game boss fight. I appreciate that. 

We beat Groudon and Kyogre, and captured them, the two legendary Pokemon of Hoenn... but our primary target, or rather, Ansha's primary target, is Rayquaza. After some offscreen study of the Red Orb and Blue Orb, we bring in Holo-Mable, who insists that she is an 'acting director', not a 'professor'. Corbeau, catty little asshole that he is, actually keeps calling Mable as 'Professor' throughout the whole conversation. What a jackass! 

Mable's conclusion is quite nonsensical, even by the standards of this franchise. Turns out that all the mega dimension energy that seeped into Darkrai isn't just subconscious thoughts, but also dreams. And this means that to get Rayquaza, we need to "actualize a related aspect of the subconscious as a basis". Or, as Mable dumbs it down for us: You. Have. To. Wish. Really. Hard. 

It is kind of dumb, isn't it? Pokemon has never been 'hard' sci-fi, never by a long shot. But it always has some sort of quasi-logical explanation to its plotlines, usually related to legendary Pokemon powers. This really felt like a bullshit handwave, even moreso than the Mega Donut. Why we can bring the Pokemon, even legendary Pokemon, out of this dream space is also never explained properly. 

Corbeau and Mable trade more barbs, before we return to Hotel Z. We recap the reest of the team about what we've learned, and we gather on the rooftop of the hotel. Ansha then gives some backstory that ties together the plotlines of Pokemon XY and Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire, which I appreciate. We also have some strange traditional drawings of Groudon, Kyogre and Rayquaza, which I really love:

It's very storybook-y, and such a simultaneously goofy but historic depiction of the Hoenn legend.

In this 'Primal Age', the world overflowed with natural energy. Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre clashed, empowered by their respective orbs, and they fought over the world's natural energy, with every roar and attack causing the world to shake and change. They fought for 20 days, warping the world around them until the ancient Draconid People wished for Rayquaza to descend and save them from destruction. 

And Rayquaza descended from the heavens in its powerful form, a mega evolved form, scaring the two into submission. Interestingly, the artwork also depicts a Little Prince looking trainer with green hair standing on top of Rayqauaza's head. The rest of the story is what we know, Mega Rayquaza uses its power to subdue the weather-manipulation powers of the other two, driving them away to the depths where they slumber. Ansha has read this story with her mother a lot, and was inspired by the stories of Rayquaza and the Draconids. 

After this story (which is a nice recap of the Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald lore), Korrina then explains that Rayquaza has a 'mikado organ' that has the same power as a Mega Stone. You... you can say that Rayquaza swallowed the Mega Stone, Korrina. We all know what happened.

All this conversation, and all this wishing... leads to another massive rift opening above Prism Tower. Phillippe shows up and gives us another 50K point grind to get enough data to understand the sigh donut recipe required or whatever... 

Some grinding later, and we get another meeting with Corbeau and Phillippe, and I'm not saying that Legends ZA is some kind of Shakespearian masterpiece, but it really does show that the writers really didn't put any thought at all to any of these dialogues. The characterization of characters like Corbeau really get reduced to 'lol serious character saying silly things', which is only funny in small increments and just feels out-of-character when repeated so many times. The base story gives the side characters dialogue that at least tied to their personalities, but I took screenshots of their dialogue to see what I can say about them and find that none of them mattered at all. Corbeau gives us some Arboliva Oil, which is the secret ingredient to the donut with nonsense requirements, so I had to grind even more bullshit for the specific berries. 

Anyway, we open up a rift and end up in Hyperspace Sky Pillar, an excellent recreation of the Sky Pillar from the 3DS games. They even have the cute, boxy, square-shaped staircase that would've led down to the rest of the dungeon in the older games! Ah, if only this location was actually explorable, and that some of the hyperspace grinding would be actually tied to a proper, engaging location...

And then like a god, Rayquaza flies down from the sky in a straight line down, glowing green and slamming down and roaring before us. The cutscenes and the music and the environment, at least, are awesome. Rayquaza unleashes hyper beams, draco meteors, hurricanes, and rapid-fire outrage slashes, and my first team to face him had pokemon like Mega Slowbro, Kyogre and an ice-beaming Mewtwo among them.

Turns out that this was a mistake. Rayquaza mega evolves, and wraps itself in a barrier of wind that neutralizes all Flying-type weaknesses. Including Ice. I... this was part of Delta Stream's effects, and with Primal Groudon also importing its regular-game immunity, I didn't know why I didn't prepare for it. So I bow out gracefully from the mega fight, and bring in a small army of fairies. Xerneas, Diancie and Meganium take central stage now, and I just bombard Mega Rayquaza with Moonblasts and Dazzling Gleams while avoiding the attacks.  

And you know what? Credit where credit is due. Fighting Mega Rayquaza as it shoots around hyper beams and draco meteors, with the awesome music in the background, on top of Sky Pillar with the night sky around? That's awesome. I'm not going to let my utter disregard about the rest of the DLC sully that. 

We return to Hotel Z, where I let Rayquaza out on the rooftop and Ansha is quite delighted (if shy) to meet such a fine Pokemon. I'm supposed to give it to her, but the conversation goes into Ansha realizing that the adventure is over and she would have to hang up her apron as a donut chef. The older members of Team MZ basically then hype her up, telling her that she could continue making donuts while the rest of Team MZ deal with Hyperspace Distortions. In perhaps the one good line of conversation in this whole cutscene, Korrina asks Ansha why she's so obsessed with giving Rayquaza to her mother, leading Ansha into a bit of an introspection of 'what I would do after this', and Korrina tells Ansha that she has a better gift to give to Diantha... stories, memories, and a sign that as a child, she has matured. 

Korrina also casually tells Ansha that Jacinthe and Diantha already know that she's been hanging out in Hotel MZ all this while, and Ansha thanks Rayquaza and asks me to take care of Rayquaza until she becomes a Pokemon trainer. Korrina promises to take Ansha under her wing, and we get a short epilogue of Ansha drawing her and Diantha meeting and how she gave Diantha the gift of donuts and stories. 

Neat storyline. I would've cared a lot more if it wasn't stretched out like a rubber band across so much grinding and pointless dialogue. Was there a reason that this had to be a whole post-game to the DLC, instead of incorporated as the 'storyline' boss fights leading up to the Darkrai mission? It's a bit silly, really. It's not even the low stakes and the general wifty-wafty vibe of Ansha as a character, it's just how it was presented as a story in general. 

Anyway, there are still some more post-post-game to the DLC, which is ridiculous that this is the state of video games nowadays. I admit I wouldn't be so frustrated without the grinding and I would just be happy that I got content, but there's a reason why these reviews are a bit more spread out. 

Random Notes:

• The music, by the way, is amazing. We get a great remix of the themes from Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire for the Kyogre, Groudon and Rayquaza fights, and the Mega Rayquaza battle even gets a nice remix with the Team MZ battle theme. No complaints at all about the battle themes, and the boss fight environments. 
• There was a bit of a funny scene where Corbeau shuts Phillippe's boasting down and tells him to be humble because they don't want to sound like they want a 'pat in the back', but Phillippe turns it around to a compliment about Corbeau's sleepless nights researching the distortions. Aw, these two. 
  
• Corbeau: "What kind of an organization are we these days... a civic think tank?" and when we call Corbeau out that he's nice, "Once folks are in our debt, we can put them to work for free... helping to shape Lumiose just the way we want it." I like them. 
• "Wait, so we're using [Arboliva Oil] because it's green?" "Sure, no sense making it complicated." Really, the writers could at least try and make these plot coupons and devices actually matter, you know? 
• Seriously, Korrina mentions one sentence about being a Mega Evolution successor witnessing the 'original' Mega Evolution. And that's it. That's the sum of her characterization. What's the point of bringing back older characters if you're not going to do anything with them? 
• And unlike the mega evolution raids earlier in the DLC, Rayquaza does not allow you to jump in partway through the battle if you fail, which I appreciate. The Rayquaza/Mega Rayquaza fight is well-designed enough that I don't mind doing it properly without mistakes, unlike some of the more bullshit raids that they had earlier in the game. 
• I catch Rayquaza in a Friend Ball, which is a ball that really fits his colouration, doesn't it? I think we need a lot of newer balls in general... was the last ball to enter the mainline games really the Beast Ball from ORAS? 

Reviewing Monsters: Elden Ring - Shadow of the Erdtree, Part 2

As I continue my little sojourn through the Lands of Shadow, it's a nice feeling to be back like when I was first exploring the original Lands Between. A lot of castles, a lot of soldier camps, and trying to piece together the context of what's going on. In this case, we know -- at least we assume we know -- that the land was torn in a horrible, purging war between the forces of one of Marika's demigod children, Messmer the Impaler, against the local people called the Hornsent. But the forces of Messmer seem to be just as trapped as the people they were sent down to hunt. 

And there's the matter of Miquella the Kind, allegedly the kindest demigod in all of the Lands Between, who has been traveling through the Lands of Shadow and 'leaving pieces of his flesh' in various locations. 

Not much is really told, just built up, as I explore a lot of the earlier areas, clear out a couple of castles and tombs, and avoid giant furnace golems. Next up in the dungeons is Castle Ensis, which felt a bit shorter than the other legacy dungeons, although it was a bit surprising to see a lot of Raya Lucarian enemies here, scaled up to DLC scaling. 

I do have a little quibble about the way Shadow of the Erdtree's sidequest systems are designed versus the base game, though. One of the most major events that happen, the breaking of a Great Rune, happens when I... get too close to a big, imposing and very visually 'get here, it's cool' castle. There is no NPC or any lines of dialogue warning me that this was going to change anything. In the base game, as convoluted as it can be, a lot of the major changes and 'NPC acceleration' checkpoints happen when you kill certain bosses -- Radahn, Morgott, or activating the Forge of the Giants. Actions that have a significant amount of buildup by context or by the sheer fact that you're taking out a major demigod. Walking up a castle? Really? I don't think I've locked myself out of too many side-quests, looking at the guide, but that also made me, y'know, look at a guide and see just how terribly someone would really screw this up without even meaning to.

______________________________________________

Spirit Eel

Look at these guys.  Look at these guys! These things are adorable little tube-like entities that sprout out of the ground, rendered in transparency the same way that ghosts or Spirit Jellyfishes are. They've got adorable little dot-faces and dot-mouths that people have compared to the Kodamas of Princess Mononoke fame. What are they? The internal files call them 'Rei Chinanago', or spirit eel, which brings to mind very specifically garden eels. I've seen many of these garden eels while diving, and indeed, these tiny eels hide with half of their bodies buried underground, and their head just hanging up and bobbing around. It is that scene, scaled up to several dozen times the scale, and given adorable human faces and tiny, almost negligible human arms. 

The Spirit Eels, by the way, are completely harmless, similar to the Jellyfishes. They don't drop anything and they don't guard anything, so there's not even a reason to attack them. But if you do, their heads turn red similar to the Spirit Jellyfishes. At that point, they can inflate their angry red heads and slam them down on you like a club... or the more interesting one that I captured here in a screenshot, vomiting out strange tendrils of thread that much of the fandom has collectively identified as being similar to a sea cucumber's defense mechanism of vomiting out its own digestive tracts to distract an enemy -- a factor that was somewhat recently adapted into the Pokemon called Pyukumuku.

One of the absolutely most distinctive creatures to come from the DLC, it's no wonder that they show up in all of the loadscreens and promotional artwork. It is also honestly quite surprising and refreshing that they're just there to make the world a bit weirder and creepier. I feel the best video game worlds do that -- you don't need to devote half your bestiary to non-hostile creatures, but having one or two that isn't just a sheep or a dog does help to sell the impression of a world that's not obviously meant to have every single creature there have stat blocks for a player to kill.  

Black Knight

More humanoid enemies, the Black Knights seem to be Messmer's Army's equivalent to enemies in the base game like the Crucible or Banished Knights -- far better-armoured knights with unique tricks and weapons. In the Black Knight's case, they wield a big, fuck-off giant hammer and a very distinctive gold-rimmed shield. They can also cast certain Crucible spells, which makes me wonder if these are the 'modernized' or 'militiarized' version of the Crucible Knights -- which were always noted to be relics of a more bygone age. Or more likely, these were former Crucible Knight that were press-ganged and forced to serve under this 'away' army, because a lot of hints and dialogue we can find note that Messmer's Army is made up of the undesirables of the Lands Between that were sent away, out of sight, to fight a most heinous war, and was eventually also discarded when Queen Marika cast the spell that cut off the Land of Shadow from the Lands Between. 

Bloodfiend 

These big, burly ogre-like guys are another non-human enemy, but they're not that much terribly interesting than the knights. I do like their little squished-up rat faces, but they're otherwise just an enemy themed around the 'Bloodboon' rituals that were previously only associated with Mohg's Cult of Blood. Item descriptions tell us that the Bloodfiends had been a tribe that also found a 'twisted deity', presumably the same Formless Mother that Mohg worships, and in turn was twisted into these hulking rat-people that casts blood spells. 

I do find it neatly gruesome that some Bloodfields actually hold the dismembered arms of their kin -- and you, too, can loot the Bloodfiend's Arm as a weapon! Not the most exciting enemy, but a nice little visual and thematic difference from the Omens and Albinaurics we've been seeing a lot in the base game. Wonder if they'll actually have a bigger role or sub-area later on? 

Logur the Beast Claw

Logur, the Beast Claw, is just... some naked human with one of the new weapon types, the 'Beast Claw' weapon type. It's kind of cute, I suppose, that most of the new weapon types gets a named NPC to kind of introduce them to you. Logur is a rather surprising reference to Wolverine/Logan of Marvel comics fame, with the hair, the claw weapons, and his iconic half-naked escape from the Weapon X facility. There's not much else to note about Logur other than the really jump-scaring bird screech he makes when we wander into his territory. Unlike Logan, Logur's bark is definitely much worse than his bite. 

Knight of the Solitary Gaol

We've got more gaols in the Lands of Shadow, and one of them is guarded by the Knight of the Solitary Gaol, an asshole who wields a repeat-fire, infinite-ammo crossbow that makes the boss fight against him particularly annoying due to the small, square room it happens in. What little information we can find about him note that the mausoleums in the Lands of Shadow -- again, a land patterned and themed upon death -- have mausoleums specifically for great warriors "who lost their names, or their hearts". Which is apparently literal, because the Knights of the Solitary Gaol were an order who, through a secret rite, 'relinquished their hearts for heightened battle prowess'. The idea that this order might be connected to the Mausoleum Knights from the base game (who sacrificed their heads to become wandering security guards devoted to the mausoleums they guard) is intriguing, but on the other hand the Mausoleum Knights become teleporting ghost guards. This guy just has a minigun crossbow, that kind of ruins the whole vibe of a warrior who sacrificed his life for power. 

Dryleaf Dane

Technically an NPC who has a questline, I do fight Dryleaf Dane. He just sits in a corner of the world, not saying anything, unless you manage to find some instructions from a different NPC to to do a certain kung-fu-fight pose in front of him because 'no words are needed'. That's... that's kind of cute despite the ridiculous way you get around this. Defeating Dryleaf Dane earns you the respect of this kung fu master, and gives you a weapon that allows you to punch-and-kick enemies to the death instead of just utilizing weapons attached to your arms. For that alone, I find it funny. 

Moonrithyll, Carian Knight

While the exterior parts of Castle Ensis is filled with your regular gaggle of Messmer Soldiers and Black Knights, going a bit deeper shows some surprising returning enemies -- the stone-slab-headed mages of Raya Lucaria! Or the Carian Royal Family! We've got other Caria-related enemies like Troll Knights and Noble Sorcerers as well. Guarding the pathway to the boss chamber is Moonrithyll, Carian Knight, who's basically a similar-looking enemy to Moongrum, Carian Knight, who had guarded Queen Rennala. And that's because the boss is...

Rellana, Twin Moon Knight

RELLANA, Twin Moon Knight, twin sister of Queen Rennala! If the very similar-sounding names and the convoluted Game of Thrones-y royal family tree confuses you, this lady seems to be a cheeky joke by the developers. Yes, just like how some of the connections in the game are a bit ambiguous, turns out that Queen Rennala had a twin sister all along!

That's not to say that I didn't enjoy her boss fight. She had zero dialogue, which I thought was doing her dirty -- if the nameless lion dancers got a whole cutscene to build them up, surely Rennala could have had a badass line or two, right? She has one of the most kickass sounding boss OST's in the game with a really cool violin solo, though, and I found her hectic fight so fun. During her first phase, she just fights with her twin swords coupled with souped-up versions of Carian Magics. Her sword extending to a gigantic size to slash across the entire battlefield, summoning magical flying swords around her... 

But on phase two, she ignites her twin swords into fire and ice. Such a simple thing, such a simple visual, but it looks cool, isn't it? She starts casting all sorts of fancy fire and ice spells, and near the end of her health she flies up, summons twin moons, and chucks them down onto the ground. And a third, unexpected explosion when Rellana herself slams down and makes a groundpound. I love the fact that the 'Twin Moon' isn't just a wink-wink nod at Rellana being a 'twin' with a character very associated with the moons, but part of her ultimate attack as well. 

Very cool boss fight, even if I really wished we had learned more about her as a character. Item descriptions from stuff we got after beating her tells us that she is disavowed her birthright (which is probably why she's 'scrubbed from history' or something) and chose to stand at Messmer's side, and it's implied that she did it out of unrequited love. Okay! 

Let's Play Pokemon Legends Z-A, Part 45: Hyper Mega Berry Grinding Guhhhhhhh

Grinding is bullshit in this game. The 'post-game' for the Mega Dimensions DLC requires you to grind a whole ton of points to get to Groudon and Kyogre, and then even more points after that to get to Rayquaza, and god it is so frustrating when I don't even feel like I'm playing Pokemon as I grind, do you know what I mean? Like, at least interacting with the world via side-quests keeps me a bit more engaged, but this isn't even running around catching Pokemon or battling, which are the two parts that made me roll my eyes in the original non-DLC parts of the game, but at least it's something. 

I really, really like Legends ZA, despite its flaws. 

I do not like Mega Dimensions. 

Why am I still playing? Honestly, completionism, and to finish writing it for this blog. Normally, I don't even mind 'grindy' games. They let me do something quasi-mindless while I listen to a podcast or hop on a call or something, like a more elaborate fidget spinner toy. But the Mega Dimensions grind for berries and all that bullshit is just so bad. Sure, go for the mega raids, but I don't want to repeat the same old raids I've done before, and the scaling tends to be quite bullshit too. 

Anyway, this section is basically a nice little archive for all of the side-quests I did throughout the Groudon/Kyogre/Rayquaza grind. 

I eventually grinded enough Infinite Z-A fights to get to the fabled 15th reward match. And it is against Taunie! She fights me, but something is a bit off when she doesn't immediately evolve her Emboar, and it was actually taken down without evolving. She then tosses out AZ's Floette! And Floette evolves into Mega Floette! That was acutally unexpected and I cackled a bit when that twist happened. 

After beating her, Taunie talks a bit about how glad the is to meet me, and the rest of Team MZ... but then Emma shows up and begins to talk to Taunie, triggering a bit of a surprise. We then go to Quasartico Inc, where it is revealed that... Emma has finally found the person that Taunie came to Lumiose City to find. And that person is... President Jett! Turns out that President Jett is Taunie's grandmother, dun dun dunnnn! Vinnie and I have a huge expression of shock. 

Jett had given the jacket to her daughter, but the two of them became estranged over time. We get the revelation that Taunie's mother developed holographic technology, and disagreed with Jett over how Quasartico Inc should be ran. Eventually Taunie's mother left, never spoke to Jett again, and fell into Team Flare. Did... did we know that? I don't think we know that. But Taunie's mom is the scientist behind the creation of the hologram technology that Team Flare (and now Quasartico/Lumiose) uses.

Taunie doesn't understand fully the circumstances of her mother's work, but they take some solace in that this is another path of interesction, a theme that has been mentioned several times throughout the base game, and Taunie's mom's research eventually led to the creation of something nicer like the Wild Zone. The dialogue is ambiguous on where they come from, with Taunie noting that she had to 'go to some faraway region to try and rest', and that's where she passed away. Taunie and Jett's family are also not natively Kalosian (or Lumiosian, at least) which ended up complicating Taunie's search. 

Taunie tells Jett something that her mother left with her, that even though Jett and her walked different paths, they had so much in common, and knowing that made her life feel fuller. Jett regrets not reaching out to her daughter before her passing. 

Jett then moves the conversation to her stepping down as Quasartico Inc's president, because of her part in concealing the truth about Ange from the public. She decides to keep it 'in family' (nepotism, yay!) and give it to... Taunie? Who has experience 'being a leader'...? I'm sorry, I like Taunie but she is having problems leading four people, and has had a history of entering ambiguous debts with the mafia. I hardly think she is qualified to run an urban redevelopment company. But oh well. 

(This bit, by the way, is spoiled a bit by some lines in the DLC where Naveen and Lida discuss that Taunie is 'busy with Quasartico'. It doesn't say that she's the CEO or anything, I don't think, but it was still a spoiler nonetheless.)

Taunie muses about how many people she ccan help with this new position and decides to accept. And in honour of that, and to help me keep Lumiose City safe, Taunie decides to leave AZ's Floette with me, and give me the Floettite. Okay! Yay! Umbilial cord flower get! 

That's a nice bit of epilogue for the main story, which I did appreciate for sure.

Next, let's go through the second round of 'hyperspace battles'. It's a bit weird because the game's not really clear when some of the people we meet here are the 'real' people, when some of them are and some of them aren't, or whatever... the quests themselves are just double battles with the same old parties, but I need to eat like a minimum of a 4* donut to steamroll them. In quick discussion:

• Vinnnie brings me to a meeting with Phillippe and Corbeau. This is actually a rather cool sequene where it starts off as a tense business negotiation, because Corbeau and Phillippe claim that Quasartico isn't paying them enough and that the risks aren't quite what they estimated when the contracts were drawn. Vinnie needs buy-in from all the stakeholders to give out a cash bonus... but the conversation actually seemed to go well until we get some handwave to get a pokemon battle. 
  
• 
  Ivor and Lebanne are fighting in Hyperspace, which is actually a nice follow-up to the hints of them having a history. Lebanne claims that she pursues strength only for herself... but Ivor gets her to think otherwise because he fights to protect the people, while Lebanne's way hasn't gotten her out of her indentured servitude to Jacinthe. Gwynn shows up, drags me into the fight and uses me to just settle the fight because she's had enough. I fight alongside Lebanne against the siblings, and both Ivor and Lebanne agree that the other party has some legitimate points. 
• Gwynn and I see a holographic Canari, and Gwynn gets angry at the 'fake' Canari, which is Tarragon. Gwynn and Tarragon get into a bit of an argument about whether the 'bandwagoners' are true fans or not. Tarragon says the best thing one could say about a fandom: "what about the poeple who just think she's neat? That sounds like a fan in my book!" The ending has a cute moment when Canari tells Gwynn that she's important to her as well. Aww! 
• Grisham and Griselle discuss food with Phillippe, who was inspired by his poor upbringing to respect chefs that give their heart and soul into cooking. This one doesn't really have much of a hook, but it's nice to see them talk about their passions, I suppose. 
• Lebanne is lurking in hyperspce thinking about how to beat Jacinthe, and shit-talks her... when Jacinthe and HOLO Jacinthe show up and start getting into a weird conversation. By the way, I completely and 100% agree with Lebanne's shit-talking of Jacinthe, but the game has everything be restored to status quo after the fight with Lebanne still kinda-sorta taking Stockholm's Syndrome pride with Jacinthe. Boo!

All these fights give me alternate colour costumes for the NPC outfits, and also unlocks their hairstyles in the salons. I think nothing beats the fact that we get Ivor's amazing little Falinks pouch, which is the most adorable thing out there. 

A side-quest I particularly like is a kooky old man who insists that his Arbok is actually a Seviper. I show an actual Seviper, and he's just adamant that the other serpent Pokemon looks the same, and is only different if you 'squint'. Rather hilariously, he comes to the conclusion that his Arbok 'Sevy' is a regional variant of Seviper, before we finally get him to see reason. 

In the sewers, one of the workers ask me to investigate a strange blockage. I run in to find a poor Dodonzo stuck inside one of the overworld sewer holes, and I'm surprised that with how lazy the animation team has been that they actually had the Dodonzo tail sticking out of the sewer hole. It leads to a simple Alpha Dodonzo battle, and the construction worker adopts the Dodonzo. I thought this one was quite a charming one. 

The police officer who arrested me for the Goomy incident in the base game recruits me to test a the museum's security. All the guards have dog Pokemon (Houndoom, Dachsbun, Houndstone, Mabosstiff) and make jokes about 'the script'. A nice reuse of the museum assets, and it actually reminds me of a chapter of Pokemon Adventures where the Johto gym leader Janine was actually recruited by the police to do exactly the same thing. 

A guy called Trian, the Porygon guy, is an indie game developer who gives a long discussion about how he works a lot with polygons, and he also has a Pokemon called Porygon, and that the development of technology has allowed them to render these polygons with more rounded edegs. The siequest has me trade a Porygon with his, and his Porygon is holding an Upgrade that evolves it to Porygon2. It's the 'perfect illustration of how much games change when procerssing power improves'. Apparently Porygon2's upgrades even includes AI! Egad, ChatGPT has made it into the Pokemon universe!

Rather interestingly, there is a bit of a follow up for Porygon-Z. Unfortunately, while Trian gives me the Dubious Disk, he doesn't give me a trade as well. And rather interestingly, the quest to meet him has Trian show up in a hyperspace distortion; specifically the abandoned house. He says some existential-crisis thing about how if polygonal models keep evolving, it will be indistinguishable from the worlds around us, with the implication that the Trian we're talking to in the distortion isn't real. All this 'hyperspace people' thing is really confusing, isn't it? It's not even creepy. It's just wishy-washy.

Anyway, that's it for sidequests for now, next up will be the Groudon/Kyogre/Rayquaza finale!

Random Notes:

• Some more side-quests I didn't have much to say about: 

• A Canatic wants me to find a very specific bench so she can recreate a Canari papparazzi photo with her partner Manectric. That's kinda creepy, but at least she's not stalking Canari. 
  
• A courier tells me of a creepy 'bloody Mary' urban myth thing to enter the graveyard. It's just a silly memory game for the gimmick, but the spotlighted Pokemon is a Houndstone that is terrifying people by being a gravestone that moves around. The simplest story you could tell with this Pokemon, but it's all right.
• Bene, nurse joy of the Hibernal pokemon center, wants to increase awareness by having a Foongus on her desk to make her stand out. Because hers has the worst performance in sales. So they do keep track of that. I give her a fun guy, and a couple of fungal puns ensue.  
• Another Nurse Joy asks me to go into a Wild Zone to find her Pokemon, 'Rosebud'. It's not a Roselia or a Glimmora, but actually a massive, enraged Annihilape that I need to fight and calm down on the rooftop. I actually reasonably like this one. 
• Corbeau: "Kind words are nice and all, but they're not what really motivates people in the end!"
• Ivor tries to offer Lebanne the uniform of his dojo as well, but Lebanne deflects it masterfully by saying that she is sworn to wear the maid outfit for Jacinthe's sake. 
• I can react "okay, bye" to the Gwynn-vs-DYN4M0 fight, but Gwynn just replies with a flat 'no, help me.'
• While evolving other Pokemon, I had to look up Galarian Yamask's evolution. It still needs to take 49 damage, but then I have to walk under a specific Coulant Waterway bridge, then go into the menu and tap it to evolve it. God, this is still probably the weirdest evolution method ever. 
• Am I disappointed that these 'hyperspace dimension' stuff, with glitching and Porygon being part of the game, that we don't get a proper Porygon dimension? It could've been a properly long side-quest and everything, but nope.