Thursday, 29 September 2022

She-Hulk S01E06 Review: Wedding Blues

She-Hulk, Attorney at Law, Season 1, Episode 6: Just Jen


Mmm, yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of this episode either. I do think that structurally and thematically it might flow a bit better than the previous one? Because at least even Jen herself is acknowledging that this is a supposedly 'bottle' wedding episode with no real tie-in to the greater tapestry of the universe. And after being mostly a cipher in previous episodes, Titania gets to show some more personal animosity towards She-Hulk in this one. 

It's just that... I got pretty bored in this episode? And I do have some pretty high tolerance for nonsense, considering I watched all of DC's Legends of Tomorrow.  I do see some happy reviews about this episode out there so it might just be me not 'getting' the comedy of this episode, and, yes, I would readily admit that wacky wedding hijinks, very American bridesmaid-related wackiness and catfights are definitely not anywhere on my radar of what I would consider appealing fiction.

I guess after the previous episode had Jen confront that her She-Hulk persona has grown into a positive aspect of her life. But this episode forces her to accept the Jennifer Walters side, with her jackass friend-that-got-distant Lulu telling her to go around as 'just Jen' and not She-Hulk. Titania, of course, shows up to crash the party and provoke her, and... I don't know. I get that without her relationship with Absorbing Man, Titania gets reduced to the 'angry brute' trope of supervillain and that can't really carry a show, but 'catty TikTok bitch bully' just isn't engaging at all for more than a single episode. And while seeing drunk Jen is funny, I really didn't care all that much for Titania's conflict with She-Hulk, as well as Jen's romances with Josh. 

There are, on paper, moments that would be a pretty great showcase of Jen's poor headspace and her juggling of her two identities... but the whole wedding plot and its jokes that didn't work for me just made watching the episode a bit of a chore. Anyway, Titania breaks her teeth or some shit after slipping on the ice, and hey, we get yet another rather underwhelming action scene.

The B-plot isn't particularly funny either, with Nikki and Mallory (neither of whom really have much of a personality at this point beyond 'gossipper BFF' and 'serious rival'. Nikki's funny, at least) having to handle the case of Mr. Immortal. Which... I'm not familiar with the character from the comics, but he's completely transformed in the adaptation from a kooky young superhero with a dark-comedy superpower into an old scammer who keeps killing himself to run away from any problems in his life. The divorce settlement ends with barely a punchline, other than the fact that Nikki and Mallory figure out that from the case there's some kind of dark web online grup called the Intelligencia that's spreading a lot of hate about She-Hulk and they want to kill her. So basically Reddit or something.  

...and I don't know. It sure is a very 'new age' supervillain, but until we see more, I'm just not feeling it? The way the episode is cut, it's kind of obvious that Josh or whoever the handsome guy at the wedding is called is probably associated with Intelligencia, but I find that I can't work myself up to really care. Thankfully, despite what Jen might say, this doesn't really land in an unconvenient spot in the season. In the middle of the season where you don't have to make a huge first impression or a bombastic finale is exactly where an episode like this should be. 

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner:
  • Mr. Immortal (Craig Hollis) in the comics is a mutant with the power of immortality that is normally associated with the West Coast Avengers and the Great Lakes Avengers. While a kooky and darkly comedic character, Mr. Immortal is more or less working as a superhero in the comics. 
  • The Intelligencia in the comics is a group of super-intelligent supervillains gathered by M.O.D.O.K. that menaced the Hulk.

Wednesday, 28 September 2022

Let's Play Legends Arceus, Part 21: The Croissant, the Dodongo, the Titan and the Sea Slug

It actually is kind of annoying, by the way, that I take a bunch of random fully-evolved Pokemon... like, say, an Umbreon, a Garchomp, a Crobat, a Torterra, Uxie and Dialga... and then I have to keep scrolling up and down the Pokedex to figure out which move and which agile/strong style I need to do to complete the Pokedex. The game itself is actually very convenient at showing me the tasks I need to do for the enemy Pokemon, but for those in my party? I felt like it shouldn't be that hard to chuck one of my Pokemon out of their balls and then see their Pokedex entry with the same targeting feature the game already employs for wild Pokemon.

Anyway, can you tell that I've been trying to rack up as many Pokedex entries as possible? I've just been wandering around the three lower-leveled areas (the Fieldlands, Mirelands and Coastlands) to just try and get as many Pokedex entries as possible. One thing of note that I felt is a bit irritating are, admittedly, the Eeveelutions. There are so many of them!

Anyway, last we left off, we captured all the Lake Guardians, and got the Origin Form items for Dialga and Palkia. 

I also figured out that, hey, there are a bunch of new outfits in the store, like the ninja gear and the bandit outfits, plus the Diamond and Pearl clan uniforms. Now I've been running around with the regular default costume plus a giant kasa hat, but I ended up spending some money to rock out with a blue full ninja outfit. That's neat!

So the first up on my legendary agenda this time around is Cresselia, mostly because I just picked it out by the order that the game gave me the quests in. Cresselia has landed in the Moonview Arena -- in retrospect a bit obvious based on its name -- which is the seat of the Noble Lord Electrode. I guess they just didn't want to adapt Full-moon island or whatever into this game? Melli and Calaba of all people are waiting for me there, and Calaba gives some exposition about how Cresselia is the embodiment of the crescent moon and can cure dreams. Basically the most basic background of Cresselia... a bit of a shame, truly, that we don't actually get a repeat of the same 'child trapped in nightmare' sidequest we had in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum. I felt like it would've been so easy to integrate that classic Cresselia story into a side-quest in Legends: Arceus!

Melli is a bit pissed off that Cresselia -- or the 'pesky flying croissant', as he calls it -- is bothering Electrode, and makes him so worried that he can't sleep, let alone dream. Actually kinda funny, and I love that he called Cresselia a croissant!

There's at least some build-up to fighting Cresselia, although... again, I really did wish that there was some extra narrative or dialogue. We were able to fit in a bunch for random quests about Spheal or Burmy or Mr. Mime. Surely a bit of extra steps to build up to these legendaries is par the course?

The fight against Cresselia is fun, because Cresselia shoots a bunch of glowing psychic orb things that reverses my controls! It's actually kind of neat to see something that's a bit more creative in these human-vs-Pokemon conflicts, even if running in the reverse control isn't the most creative thing out there. Cresselia herself is pretty easy for me to catch, I just had Origin Palkia tank her attacks while I chucked Ultra Balls at full health. I'm not sure, I think they severely nerfed the catch rates for these legendaries?

From Cresselia, I got the Dread Plate... at least that's vaguely thematic. Maybe Cresselia beat up Darkrai, shoved him in a closet and stole his plate. I did find Calaba's disappointment that she didn't get a Lunar Feather to be kinda funny, for sure. 

Cresselia also has a brand-new signature move to replace her original self-destructive Lunar Dance called Lunar Blessing. It's actually just Recover and Double Team mixed together, which is infinitely more useful than 'die and heal the next Pokemon out'. 

Next stop, Firespit Island. And I guess this kinda-sorta confirms that Firespit Island would become the post-game Sinnoh Island, whatever it was called? Apparently Braviary can't fly over the invisible walls of the lava pits in the center of the volcano? Uhh... I guess the heat from the volcano would make flying over them difficult, but that's a strange thing of all things to be realistic about considering my character can walk right next to these lava pools. (Also, an Alpha Ninetales! I wasn't even aware Vulpix and Ninetales are in this game!)

There's a bit of a comedy between Iscan and Irida, where Paulina apparently managed to trick Irida into unnecessarily coming to witness the subduing of Heatran despite there not really being any need for her to come along. It's... it's fun Irida/Palina stuff, for sure, but I'd rather had some background and backstory for Heatran, y'know? Even a simple "Heatran is threatening to cause the volcano to explode" line from Irida would've been enough. 

Heatran himself is surrounded by a fiery dome, and the arena is littered with mud balls if you don't already have like 250 of them in your bag like I do. Kind of interesting that you just have to keep chucking at it to bring down the lava shield before you can catch it. But... but yeah. At least the Lake Guardians had a big role in the main story, while Cresselia had a basic background from Calaba. Now I get that Heatran's probably one of the lamer Sinnoh legendaries, but man, the absolute disrespect on the poor fire dino-lizard creature! 

Heatran drops the Iron Plate, which I think might be the first time in the post-game that an Arceus plate is actually thematic to the legendary I defeated. 

I did a couple of dex-entry filling at this point, including going back to Professor Laventon and... he just casually gives me both of the original starters that I didn't pick up, Cyndaquil and Oshawott! Okay. Okay, that was surprisingly simple! Normally the starters get such an exclusive deal for them and I've had so many older games where I had to run around and do the whole damn Sevii Islands before I get a starter from another generation or something. Neat! I'll get to see the Hisuian forms of them soon, though I'll probably take time to gain the full dex entries for Cyndaquil, Quilava, Oshawott and Dewott. 

Oh, I also finally got a Sun Stone and got myself a Hisuian Liligant. With her and the Hisuian versions of the final starter evolutions, I think I finally got all the brand-new forms introduced in this game.

Next up is the Snowpoint Temple. After running around like a dumbass chicken around the temple trying to figure out where the quest marker is, I realized it pointed down. And that just like the DS-era Snowpoint Temple, Regigigas is in the basement

Instead of bringing Regirock, Regice and Registeel, though, all I apparently needed to do is to bring their respective Arceus plates. Which is... an interesting way to get around the fact that this game doesn't have those Pokemon built in. Adaman and Sabi show up and, like it was with Cresselia, gives a very brief talk about how this Pokemon is rumoured to be a titan that towed continents. 

...so I guess we now know where the Vespiquen stole the Rock Plate from. It beat up a Regirock!

Anyway, I don't really have a whole ton to say about Regigigas. There's no puzzle or gimmick with the overworld segment of the encounter -- I guess the puzzle of collecting the respective plates is enough? I also capture Regigigas in the first Ultra Ball I toss at him. So... that's all of Cogita's legendaries captured!

I go off to the Prelude Beach and talk to Kamado, too. He just wants to fight me again, and he has added a Heracross to his party. He talks some shit about how he found the Normal-type plate when he and Beni first arrived in Hisui, but I really don't have too much time for how he still carries himself like he's some hot shit. It is nice to have some tie-in to how Jubilife/Galactic was founded, and there's a brief thought of Kamado thinking that it might be nice to rename the region as 'Sinnoh' after Almighty Sinnoh. That's the tie-in to Diamond/Pearl, I guess, but he just straight-up erased the name of Hisui? I don't know. I will give credit to the Pokemon writing team, it's not often I have such a strong reaction to a character in a Pokemon game. 

Anyway, in my quest to do most of the side-quests in the game (I'm going to finish the Spiritomb, Unown and Old Verse collections for sure, but that last balloon-popping game is too miserable for me to do) I tried to figure out what the fuck is going on with the Manaphy quest. I thought all I had to do was check out the Seaside Hollow, but it remains empty. And... this was one that I had to look up the guide online, and apparently I had to play Brillian Diamond/Shining Pearl to figure out that they added an extra book to the Canalave Library that tells me that I need to bring a Buizel, a Mantyke and an extra-spiky Qwilfish (so Overqwil, foreshadowing this form) to the 'ocean gate' in the evening. What... what nonsense, honestly! There's no way for anyone to figure this out... at least tell me the clue is in another game! I know how many people just breeze through the Canalave Library too. 

Anyway, after some eye-rolling at the nonsensical riddle, I arrive in the Seaside Hollow. A Manaphy shows up, accompanied by four iPhones, and they're all surrounded by a veil of water. It's... actually surprisingly hectic, unlike Regigigas, because I'm facing like four different characters that shoot water pulses or whatever at me. Being a dumbass who forgot to deposit the low-leveled Mantyke and Buizel, I'm also effectively down two members of my team, and didn't bring any healing items while I face off against a gauntlet of four legendaries. I even had to 2-v-1 the Manaphy and one of its iPhone babies! 

Which is to say... I didn't expect that good ol' Prince of the Sea ended up being the most fun legendary boss battle out of the four I faced in this part. 

Anyway, with most of the side-quests done, it's time to face Cogita and hopefully face off against Arceus himself! 

Tuesday, 27 September 2022

She-Hulk S01E05 Review: Influencer Wars

She-Hulk, Attorney at Law, Season 1, Episode 5: Mean, Green, and Straight Poured into These Jeans


After spending the first four episodes with cameos from the wider MCU, She-Hulk's fifth episode is the first one to have the show's central cast attempt to stand on their own and... I'm not sure they really succeeded? Admittedly, the plotline of this episode is another one that really didn't interest me at all. Reinventing She-Hulk's nemesis Titania from a brawny meathead into a catty social media influencer is a very questionable decision, and I'm really not sure it paid off. 

The main plotline is that Titania has been trademarking the name She-Hulk for her line of beauty products, and Jen has to fight her in court. It's... it's nowhere as interesting as the show thinks it is. Sure, there are a couple of funny moments, and I guess using last episode's Tinder profile (and the montage of Jen's terrible dates) as a way out of the solution is kind of cute. Jen and the lawyer representing her, Mallory Book, end up doing another 'humiliate the client to exonerate her' plotline, which feels a bit too similar to the same trick Pug did to win the douchebag lawyer case against the light elf in episode 3. Mallory's an all right foil to Jen, and a surprisingly serious character compared to the rest of her kookier workplace buddies. This does make her kinda boring, though. 

And... I don't know. Maybe I'm just old and grouchy and not quite 'hip' with the younger audience who probably appreciate the social media and dating app jokes and whatnot, but it's just... well, not really doing a whole lot for me. The show never quite delves into being straight-up bad, but I really did find it hard to pay full attention to the show.

The B-plot of this episode is Nikki and Pug going around to look for the 'drip broker', someone who sells bootleg superhero merchandise. Which eventually leads to obvious Edna Mode expy, the kooky Luke Jacobson. Who's fun, yes, and it seems like he's taken over Melvin Potter's role from Daredevil as the resident superhero outfit creator for anyone not associated with Stark Industries. (Hey, he's literally making Daredevil's suit!). We don't quite get to see the full She-Hulk outfit that he gives Jen at the end of the episode, but it's coming. 

There is, I suppose, the running theme of Jen finally appreciating the moniker 'She-Hulk' as something that's not a derivative name shoved on her by random reporters, and finally making the atrocious appellation into her own. With how so many superhero shows and movies are so loath to acknowledge superhero monikers and really like to make fun of it, it's actually pretty nice to devote an episode for Jen to embrace the name She-Hulk and actually defend it. Makes sense if they want the character to be called She-Hulk in-universe too, and not have it be a name Jen refuses to be associated with. Unfortunately, while it's a good story in and of itself, the trial over beauty product copyright just isn't strong enough to carry the half-hour. 

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner: 
  • Mallory Book is Jen's rival within GLK&H in the 2004 She-Hulk run. Luke Jacobson is a very minor character from the obscure spy-themed Marvel comic Dakota North
  • Daredevil's helmet -- coloured yellow instead of red, in honour of Daredevil's first comic-book appearance -- can be seen in Luke's shop.
  • "Iron Man 3" is the title of an MCU movie, one of the few MCU entries that use numbers in the sequels. 
  • The credits show Pug flaunting his sneaker collection. Including the Iron Man ones and some obvious Avengers, we get a surprising 'cameo' of many superheroes and supervillains that have yet to appear in the MCU (thanks to copyright issues). Most notable are ones based on Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, Deadpool, The Thing, Dr. Doom and Nova. 
    • Existing MCU shoes that I can tell include Falcon (albeit a comic-book based one), Quicksilver (also comic-book based), Captain Marvel, Green Goblin, Spider-Man, Moon Knight, Black Panther, Ghost Rider and Captain America. 
  • Titania calls She-Hulk 'Shrek' when she enters the courtroom. There's a lot of memes in the build-up to She-Hulk that refer to Hulk and She-Hulk as 'Shrek and Fiona'.

Sunday, 25 September 2022

She-Hulk S01E04 Review: Trademarking Magic

She-Hulk, Attorney at Law, Season 1, Episode 4: Is This Not Real Magic?


Mmm, yeah. The fact that She-Hulk: Attorney of Law is a nine-episode series that's mostly comedy means that the show can take its time doing more episodic, one-off wacky episodes like this. And... it's all right, for what it is. It's light watching, which isn't something that I really can say for a lot of the Netflix/Disney+ Marvel shows, which are far more serialized in nature. It doesn't necessarily 'twitter-armour' the show (regardless of Wong's presence) since the tone of the show is still much more comedic in nature, and this episode probably is the wackiest so far? It's jarring mostly because the comedy is kind of different compared to most of what MCU's comedy tend to be. 

But as Jen herself points out through a fourth-wall break, Wong is a welcome character to bring back, and he's the client for this episode. Wong's always good for a laugh, and... well, it is kind of odd to see the otherwise-super-serious Kamar Taj sorcerer just hanging out on his couch watching TV. Our main 'villain' here is Donny Blaze, a hilarious ripoff of Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider, who apparently is a Kamar Taj dropout who has been using a sling ring to do wacky shit in his magic show in Las Vegas. Through a series of typical wackiness, he sends a lady called Madisynn* through a portal to hell, upon which she makes a pact with a goat-demon named Jake, then gets dropped on Wong's couch holding a heart. And spoils the Sopranos for Wong, which prompts him to contact She-Hulk for the plot of the episode.

*who most people thought is the best thing ever to come out of the episode. I mean, I guess she's funny, but she's no Darcy or Luis...

And... as much as I like Wong, even the character himself points out that he could've just Mirror Dimension'd Donny Blaze and his hype-man/manager. I think being Sorcerer Supreme grants you permission to do that? I don't know. I get that we kinda need this for the show to go on with the episode, and that this isn't a super serious show, but... I felt like the setup could've been done better. Not that the Donny Blaze trial is particularly interesting to watch, mind you. It's not bad, the jokes about Kamar Taj not having NDA's and stuff are kind of expected, Madisynn and Donny Blaze are serviceable hammy guest stars. But... it's just... there

The secondary plot of this episode is Jen and She-Hulk trying to get a date on copyright-friendly-Tinder, and she ends up finding really no luck, getting either creeps or weirdos. Again, the comedy's serviceable, but I find the brief scene with Jen and her father discussing the She-Hulk's mugging last episode and Jen's dad bringing her a shovel (for the bodies) to be infinitely more funny than anything else in the episode. 

Both plots kinda come to a head when She-Hulk, in the midst of going for a snu-snu with the handsome oncologist she picked up, ends up getting pulled into action by Wong, who drags her to help with the transforming demon-bat invasion. There is some action -- and better ones than the laughable She-Hulk/Titania fight in episode one. This leads to Donny Blaze getting scared shitless of the demons he accidentally summoned to drop the lawsuit, and She-Hulk gets lucky with the handsome doctor who gets instantly turned off when she sees Jen in her human form. Okay? And we get the cliffhanger for the episode as... Titania trademarking the name She-Hulk and suing Jen over it?

I don't know. Again, I know comedy is subjective, but both the plots of this episode (the Donny Blaze one and the Tinder one) feel like they're B-plots to a more interesting A-plot. I don't even want this show to be super-serious, but... but things like the Abomination trial or the upcoming Titania conflict could really carry an episode more than both storylines in the episode. It's a bit bland, really, and while I wouldn't say that the episode itself is bad, it is probably the weakest in the episodes I've watched so far. 

Random Notes:
  • "Donny Blaze" is a play on the alter-ego of the Ghost Rider, Johnny Blaze.
  • Wong thinks doing things 'by the book' refers to the Book of Vishanti, which played a major role in Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
  • One of Jen's dates uses the word 'incredible', which is of course an adjective often used for her cousin Hulk.
  • On Jen's schedule, a trial of "Kraft v. Soule" is mentioned. David Anthony Kraft wrote almost the entirety of the 1980 Savage She-Hulk comic run, and Charles Soule wrote 12 issues of the 2014 She-Hulk run. "Lee v. Bryne" refers to Stan Lee (who wrote the first Savage She-Hulk issue) and John Byrne, the artist who wrote and drew She-Hulk in Sensational She-Hulk and Fantastic Four.

Saturday, 24 September 2022

One Piece 1061 Review: Cybershark

One Piece, Chapter 1061: Egghead, the Island of the Future


Okay, I guess we're here for the long haul as we hang out in this island! It's the Egghead arc, I guess? The Egghead arc of the final saga? We all thought we were going to Elbaf, but nope! I honestly don't... don't really care about Elbaf and Vegapunk's Island was always what I'm more curious about, but I'm sure when we do get to Elbaf I'd totally love it the way I did Wano. But it's nice to have a shorter arc somewhere first before we go to somewhere explosive.

And the chapter opens with some chaos, as we get one of the coolest full-page spreads we've had in a while, with a giant monstrous shark maw that eclipses the Thousand Sunny in size just appear from the depths of the ocean, like one of those terrifying thalassophobia artwork. The giant shark turns out to be a much goofier-looking One Piece style robo-shark in the next page when we actually see it, but damn that one panel? That one panel's going to stick with me forever. 

Anyway, Jinbe, Luffy, Chopper and Bonney are separated from the rest of the crew as they navigate away from the giant robo-shark, but the giant robo-shark has mouth torpedoes. He's got SHARPEDOES! Hee hee hoo hoo. 

Jinbe is forced to bring the Devil Fruit users away, but as the giant shark is about to chomp down on the Sunny we get the sudden arrival of what I thought to be a new upgrade by Franky. Did he have a giant underwater Battle Franky stashed somewhere? Is the Thousand Sunny suddenly a Transformer that's able to transform into a giant Gundam Voltron Evangelion robot mode? Nope, this is actually a brand-new newcomer that I didn't realize until a reread, and it's got VEGA FORCE on its chest, and it blows the shit up of the shark by punching it. 

And then we cut to the nearby island G-14, which... I think is just a setup of characters that will be relevant in this Egghead arc. We did see Smoker and Tashigi discuss bringing the victimized giant children from Punk Hazard to meet Dr. Vegapunk, and turns out that they've apparently improved and shrunk. Apparently, at least, because I didn't care to go back and check. We get to meet a bunch of new characters, too. Vice Admiral Doll, who the fandom immediately calls mommy... but also a bunch of Sword members!

Helmeppo and a lady Sword member with headphones called Hibari are begging the rear admiral Prince-Grus for help in getting Coby back. And... and they're all Sword members. Prince Grus is even someone we saw before -- him and his unnamed clique of buff Marines behind him were minor antagonists in Capone Bege's cover story! But they can't stick their noses into Blackbeard's territory in the Beehive Island, and there's something interesting where Helmeppo asks them to deploy a Seraphim, but is vetoed by Prince Grus, mostly due to the lack of information. Very interestingly, they can't get ahold of X-Drake either, so... what happened to Drake?  

Cutting back to Egghead, Luffy's group has taken refuge on a cave, and we're treated to a completely topless shot from Jewelry Bonney. Yep, we're not getting Yamato, but we're getting this, at least. In typical fashion, Luffy doesn't really remember Bonney, though his brain puts the Supernova stuff together and decides to call her Bogey. Okay. There's a neat little discussion where Bonney gets exasperated about Luffy's lack of knowledge, as well as his lack of white hair. After a discussion about food, Bonney finally name-drops the fact that they are on... Egghead Island, home of Vegapunk's laboratory! Dun dunnn dunnnnnnn!

Yep, it's huge revelations time in the near future, I'm sure. We get to see the Thousand Sunny being rescued out of the water by the giant underwater Gundam, and a figure speaking in 'old-timey speech' walks out muttering about how the shark is a failure, and how overwriting primal desires is impossible. We get to see that this is actually a lady! She looks friendly, but she did program the mecha-shark to destroy ships for her to salvage, and she says that she's the Marines' scientific genius "despite her mediocrity", and... well, she introduces herself as Dr. Vegapunk!

Wait, Dr. Vegapunk is a woman? It would be a welcome addition, sure, and I have no problems at all if this is Dr. Vegapunk in the future. But she has been explicitly called as 'Old Man Vegapunk' multiple times in the story, and... I don't know if that's just going to be handwaved away like the whole 'Kaido's son' thing. But there are some interesting theories that this may or may not be the real Vegapunk. Or at least the real Vegapunk's original body. 

After all, on her bodysuit we can see "PUNK 02" written and it would be remiss to not speculate that she's either a robot, a cyborg, a clone, a remote-controlled body, someone who received the immortality surgery, Vegapunk's daughter/granddaughter/clone daughter/niece/doppelganger, someone who got Bonney'd, someone who got Ivankov'd... or some combination of the above! Or she could just be Dr. Vegapunk, and Dr. Vegapunk is a hot anime chick. That's possible, too. It's actually quite surprising and definitely in a pleasant way!

...anyway, I am definitely far more hyped about this arc now that I know it's about Vegapunk and not something else. I don't even really care what Vegapunk looks like or the huge storm of confusion that gripped the fandom on Vegapunk being a sexy lady or an old man or whatever, just give me my Devil Fruit lore!

Random Notes:
  • The cover story is showing Caesar Clown and the four Germa siblings escaping with the power of flight. Other than the ridiculousness in terms of power scaling of seeing them beat Katakuri somehow, it's basically proceeding basically how we expect it to. 
  • Apparently there's a "rabbit attachment" to the Sunny's underwater engine. Was that there all along? Was that a joke about Carrot in a barrel? I know that we had a scene briefly in Punk Hazard or something about the attachments within the Sunny, but the ones I remember are the shark submarine and the Mini-Merry.
  • The shark is '03' and the underwater Vega-Force is '12'. I highly doubt Vegapunk just made this many robots in his time, so it probably isn't a numbering system like Franky's Battle Frankies. 
  • Really does get me curious about just whether Sword is a secret sub-organization within the Marines or what? Unless Doll and Tashigi are also aware that Sword is a thing?
  • Hibari calls Coby her 'senpai'. Okay, Coby.
  • Okay, why does Jinbe need to dry his clothes? He's a fishman! You'd think the seawater would make him comfortable?  
  • Bonney claims that her ship and crew were swallowed by the metal shark, so I guess they were rescued after the Blackbeard/Akainu incident in the pre-timeskip? Wait, are they all dead when the metal shark blew up?
  • Maybe it's the sleeves and the short hair, but Vegapunk does really give me heavy Uta vibes?
  • If there are actually multiple clone Vegapunks, it would explain the wildly inconsistent things that Vegapunk has done, from the kind (working with Kuma) to the evil (clone child soldiers).

Wednesday, 21 September 2022

Let's Play Legends Arceus, Part 20: All Gods Must Be Captured

Last time we left off, we completed the main story and watched the credits of Legends:  Arceus, and I wake up to a brand-new day with a whole bunch of side-quests to complete… but also the post-game. It starts off with a pretty simple prompt to go to meet Akari, Laventon and Cyllene, who all talk about the typical ‘complete the pokedex’… and then Laventon bemoans the difficulty of knowing how much of the myths and legends of Pokemon in Hisui are real. They’re all real, Laventon. Accept that you’re in a fantasy setting right now. But in comes Volo, who does his typical shady businessman pitch of knowing all the legends and being able to lead us to where they are most relevant. Which… leads Cyllene to basically pawn me off on Volo and task us to learn about whatever information he can provide me about the legendary myths of Hisui and all the ruins over the region. 

It's interesting – Volo himself has been such a huge supporting character in the tail-end of the main story, but he realistically didn’t do all that much other than just tag along with us, show us the way to Cogita and drop some rather ominous lines here and there. So it is definitely appreciated for him to get a bit more spotlight in the narrative. 

After going around Jubilife City and getting like… eight or nine new sidequests, I head off to meet Volo in the Obsidian Fieldlands, where he brings my attention to a bunch of hieroglyphs depicting the story of the Ancient Hero and his ten Pokemon companions that went around Hisui to collect fragments of the creator deity. These has been recurring a bit all over Hisui, with some of the drawings being obviously a Sinnoh/Hisui legendary or one of the noble Pokemon, though not all of them are immediately obvious. Volo tells us of the legend of… Arceus.

Finally! Arceus!

(Except not really!)

Volo basically tells me to read the back of one of the elemental plates, which talks about ‘the Original One’ and point to the signs of a divine being that created the Pokemon world. So yeah, he wants to collect the remaining 8 or so elemental plates we haven’t gotten (depending on whether the Fairy Plate exists in this game) and try and figure out the truth of the world. Okay, Volo! We currently have the ten that we got from the ten nobles (fire, water, electric, grass, ice, poison, ground, flying, psychic, bug) so we're off to get the others!

Volo apparently has a lead on one of the plates, and he brings me to the north-east corner of the Fieldlands... which has an Alpha Vespiquen for me to beat? And the Alpha Vespiquen drops the... Rock-type plate? Excuse me, what in the name of the fuck?

Volo apparently got information on the presence of this plate, too, which raises even more questions. Sure, he explains that the Vespiquen probably picked up the Rock Plate from somewhere else, but... where? From who? Who snitched to Volo that hey, this random giant bee just happens to be carrying a fragment of the creator god? What is your information network and supply chain, Volo?

It is really bamboozling! Couldn't they literally have found any other more appropriate Rock-type Pokemon to be holding the plate? Like, oh, I don't know... Rhyperior? Golem? Or, shit, have the Noble Kleavor hold the Rock-type plate instead of the Bug-type plate, and give the Bug-type plate to the Vespiquen. It's bizarre!

Volo brings me to meet Mistress Cogita again, who is more than happy to help me, the 'lost one', out. And she starts talking about how the disappearance of the space-time rift has caused a whole bunch of Pokemon to appear out of where they are hiding. And Cogita gives a whole list of Pokemon for me to look into, which are basically all the Sinnoh legendaries. The Lake Guardians, Cresselia, Heatran and Regigigas. All the non-event-locked Generation IV legendaries, although there is that Manaphy quest I've been ignoring for a while, plus I think I get a Shaymin quest due to the Sword/Shield save file on my Switch. 

And... it is a bit annoying that we have to go through the Lake Guardians again, but it is a nice little way for us to go around exploring the legends of Hisui/Sinnoh. 

I do want to get the Lake Guardians out of the way first, so I first head off to Lake Acuity in the Alabaster Highlands to confront my dude Uxie. And.... there is no cutscene, no nothing. Uxie just kyouuns his way into a battle. He refuses my berries, he refuses to be distracted by smoke bombs, and it's just a banger theme against a level 70 lake gremlin. Pretty chill remix of the legendary theme that does sound fairy-like, and... I probably shouldn't have brought a funky party made up of level 40-odd wackos that I'm just trying to get levels on! But... Uxie gets caught under five ultra balls, and there's not even a cutscene to acknowledge it. So I guess it's just a rapid-fire catching exercise, then. 

...and that's basically what happened. I do it in reverse order now, so I go off to Azelf second in the Mirelands and Mesprit in the Fieldlands. Brought a bunch of legendaries to help me out this time around, but... yeah, other than me trying to get dex entries filled up, I don't really have much to say about the process. Mespirit has Recover, which makes him a bit more annoying than his two siblings, but otherwise... agile style moves does make chipping at a legendary's health a lot more convenient for sure.

I get the Draco Plate from the three Lake Guardians... which... yeah, I guess despite the large amount of legendaries in Sinnoh, the only dragon-types are Arceus's trinity of box covers, which are plot-relevant. Okay, sure. 

The Lake Guardians finally have a signature move, though. "Mystical Power", which I misread as the older move Mystical Fire initially. A basic damage-dealing move that has a chance to buff a stat, but... hey, it's something, right? It's nice to see these gremlins get something after so long as being barely more relevant than something like the Team Magma Base Key.

One thing that I do have to keep out now is to swap in members of my party to fill up dex entries for fully-evolved Pokemon using certain moves or whatnot, which is something I should really get to doing! I have to start paying attention to whether a certain Pokemon needs to use agile/strong type moves, or certain wild Pokemon that needs to be defeated by certain types. Neat -- it really is something that's nice to do, playing in the background while I watch a TV show or something. 

A bunch of new evolutions that I also ended up doing are those that needed items... and mostly older evolutions that are overshadowed by new Hisuian forms. Metal Coats to turn my Scyther into Scizor, and Razor Claws (at night!) to turn regular Johtonian Sneasel into Weavile. 

(Also, it's nice to finally play the game without ominous apocalypse music in my ears.)


Other side-quests that I mucked around with… after rescuing Wanda for the umpteenth time, and having Zeke panic out, Zeke finally decides to go off and help to look for Wanda in the Alabaster Icelands. Except the plot twist is that this time, Wanda’s just in a room down the corridor. So this is the final twist of the Wanda/Zeke saga, it’s Zeke that’s lost this time. Pretty cute. He's fallen into a hole in the Alabaster Icelands, gets menaced by an Alpha Glalie, and the quest ends with us getting him and Wanda back where they proceed to kind of fool around a bit with whether or not Wanda's became self-sufficient. 

I helped some guy whose Spheal keeps rolling down the hill into a bunch of ravines filled with Gravelers and Golems. Plus some guy called Rye or whatever with a Lucario (Riley’s ancestor, I assume) is all about the warrior life and challenges me to a fight in Jubilife’s battle arena. Sorry, your kung fu hadoken fox isn’t going to stand up to the Dragon God of Time. There's a brief little sidequest with some guy that gave me the crafting for a Trick Room cake; a a short quest where a Team Galactic guy makes friends with an Alpha Onix in the Oreburgh Tunnels; helped an adorable Chimecho find its forever home; and aided a lady who wants our help to find a specific Blissey in the Icelands. That Onix quest probably explains the creation of Oreburgh Tunnel in modern-day Sinnoh. 

Speaking of battles, Zisu also brings me to fight Ress the guardsman, a.k.a. the guy that says 'stay safe out there, kid' all the time. He has level 60 versions of Starly, Bidoof and Shinx... yeah, uh, dude, you could maybe... I don't know, borrow one of the Onixes or Hippowdons I have in my ranch? You're kinda pathetic. 

Adaman also wants to battle me near the Azelf lake, and... he has a Vaporeon, a Leafeon and an Umbreon come at me all at once. I fight him with his god, Dialga of Time. I thought that would be something he'd appreciate. He gave me the Adamant Crystal, which allows me to transform Dialga into his Origin Forme Dialga state permanently (like Giratina). Yeaaaah, that's kind of a doofy-looking form, but I guess I'll stick with it for now. 

I don't particularly care for it, but I also visited the Pearl Clan Village to look for Irida. And... Irida gets a whole cutscene where she plays the Celestica Flute before she fights me with her Glaceon, Espeon and Flareon army. Just like the Adaman fight, Irida ends up giving me the Pearl Crystal, allowing Palkia to transform into his far more horse-like form. Yeah, the horse Palkia looks so much more... it's a lot more cohesive yet looks a lot more alien at the same time, I think?

Also on a tangent, that Palkia-V TCG art with it standing in the midst of a fucked-up city is so damn cool

I also activated a quest with Mai and Munchlax, where Munchlax's been apparently running around all agitated and stuff, and she's not sure why. The Arc Phone, a.k.a. the God iPhone, tells us to investigate Ramanas Island. I think I'll save that sidequest for later. It's nice to see that the important NPC's do have something to say even in the post-game. 

So, I guess I'll go through with the Shaymin side-quest. With how various remakes have slowly been making previously 'mythical' Pokemon into basically regular legendaries (Deoxys in OR/AS and probably a bunch of others I can't think of on the top of my head), it is interesting that Legends: Arceus basically turned Shaymin and Darkrai, apparently, into legendaries who will only appear if you have save data from one of the other games. I guess spending money on another Nintendo product is 'eventful' enough! I don't have BD/SP so no Darkrai for me, but the quest basically directs me to the Floaroma Fields, which Shaymin revitalizes when the NPC expresses her thankfulness. 

It's neat, I suppose, that we get this short blurb even if it's not anywhere quite as eventful as how the main story treated Dialga, Palkia and the three Lake Guardians. I've always thought that it was one of the huge losses when we went into the 3D era where all the event Pokemon are just given by lame-ass Wi-Fi events where some guy in the Pokemon Center gives you an Amazon packet with Magearna or whoever inside. 

Anyway, I don't think there's anything too special about catching Shaymin. I fight him, catch him and we already get the transformative item Gracidea at the beginning of the quest. I think they tweaked the legendary capture rates in this game, which is nice since there's like twelve or something of them running around! Shaymin isn't actually essential to the post-game story (and neither is Darkrai), but it's nice to check another Pokemon off the list. 

Tuesday, 20 September 2022

Movie Review: One Piece Stampede

One Piece: Stampede [2019]


I could've sworn I did a review of this way back in 2019, but I guess I didn't!

And so... Stampede, huh? It was released way back before the Oden flashback hit the manga, which felt like forever ago -- the one big canon revelation told to us in this movie, after all, was the whole thing about Laugh Tale's proper English spelling. But that's hardly the appeal of this movie anymore, almost three (holy shit) years after the fact, yeah?

No, the appeal of this movie is that Oda even signed on the concept of this movie at all, which was 'get every single character that the fans care about and toss them into a massive rumble'. Most of these times with these movies, you get one villain and maybe a cameo or two from other popular characters -- like Sabo and Lucci's non-battle in Film: Gold, or the Admirals having secondary roles in Film: Z. Not so for this one. With the idea being a Pirate Festival set up by the lunatic Buona Festa, it's just an excuse to gather almost every single imporant character at the time of publishing the manga (other than the Yonko crews) and have them all try and fight for the secret treasure, treasure belonging to Gol D. Roger himself. 

And we have our typical scenes of the Straw Hats having fun in a festival island that has become obligatory in these movies -- except the one in Stampede is so much more exciting to look out for cameos from characters in the background -- from Vander Decken to Hatchan to Wanze to Pandaman. The main event is having the pirates -- well, technically just the ten Supernova crews -- fight on their way to gain Roger's treasure on top of a giant bubble island. 

But what initially seems to be fun and games turns out to be an excuse for Douglas Bullet, the "Demon Heir" that once sailed with Gol D. Roger, to wreak havoc. We even get a bit of a cold open where Blackbeard and his crew refuses to let Bullet out of Impel Down because he's "too crazy" even for Blackbeard's tastes. 

Douglas Bullet just... he just really wants to prove that he's the strongest character ever. He's got a pretty cool design, a pretty cool voice, and amazing action scenes, but... that's it. Like Gild Tesoro before him, Douglas Bullet's backstory is only told on text-only forms in a pamphlet or a magazine text story given out to audiences before the movie, and the very short montage and flashback we got in the movie proper doesn't really inform his actual motivations. It's really very unfortunate -- Douglas Bullet's basically a child born from a war-torn country and eventually saw Roger as the only person he'll submit to because of the difference in strength, and ultimately he ends up seeing strength as the ultimate thing to aspire for. All we got out of this, though, are some out-of-context rantings by Bullet mid-battle, and a very brief montage of scenes. 

But you know what? Up until around the midway point of the movie, that... that kinda works. Sure, we do have a bunch of fanservice scenes as we get to see wacky characters like Foxy and Buggy and Wapol do their nonsense, we get short speaking roles from Bartolomeo and Cavendish (easily two of the most popular members of the Grand Fleet) and we get some pirate fun... until the Law sub-plot kicks in. Law has been injured fighting Bullet and ends up recruiting Robin, Sanji, Brook and Chopper to go with him and investigate the mysterious inner workings of the organizers of this event. There's this very cool three-way conflict between the Law squad against Smoker and Crocodile, who are all investigating Buona Festa, and we do get very cool and brief scenes of Smoker fighting Sanji and Robin meeting Crocodile and all that. That's all Stampede is about, isn't it? Just seeing characters clash with each other with no real consequence to the plot at large. 

Meanwhile, everyone else continues with the race, and we get an absolutely fun little rumble as all the Supernovas just shoot attacks at each other. Eventually, though, everyone comes face-to-face with Bullet. I absolutely love that the movie takes full usage of Buggy's role as a former member of the Roger Pirates himself. He doesn't actually trade dialogue with Bullet, but he explains to Mr. 3 and the rest of his crew that Bullet was a lunatic that would only ever listen to Roger, hyping Bullet up as this unstoppable monster even before that epic and now-iconic Conqueror's Haki scene occurs.

And hey, holy shit, just like something out of Dragon Ball, how cool was Bullet and Luffy's Conqueror Haki clash ended up being? The red and blue spheres just slamming into each other, while we zoom in on Bullet's grinning face and Luffy's serious one? And the sheer pressure that the animators beautifully draw on all the other surrounding characters? Damn, yo. 

Oh, and I guess this is a nice time to bring out the best part of the movie -- Usopp. Film: Gold was Nami's movie and Cursed Sword was Zoro's movie, but this is undoubtedly Usopp's movie, which is surprising except it really shouldn't be. Usopp is a cool character, and his coolness is exactly the reason why Bullet hates him so much. The movie highlights it pretty well, with Bullet tossing the broken Usopp to the ground and mocking Luffy for keeping such a weakling around. Get it? Cause Usopp is the weakest member of the Straw Hats, while Bullet is all about strength and power?

And then we have the huge brawl. The huge, huge brawl that I have rewatched maybe twenty times. We get all the Worst Generation fighting against Bullet, and the action is just so fast. From characters like Hawkins and Capone engaging their respective super modes, to Bullet speed-blitzing characters and bashing Kid and Killer's heads onto each other, to seeing Bullet just tank everything from Big Father cannonballs to Apoo's kaboom-boom music to tossing around Drake's dinosaur mode to just deflecting an Elephant Gun and Kid's giant metal arm against each other... this is one of the two super-smooth action scenes in this movie I can just watch over and over and over again. Bullet just absolutely overwhelms and knocks down every single combatant tossed against him.

And eventually this leads to the second super-smooth action scene, where Luffy goes Snakeman and... it's not as long or as elaborate as the beautiful chaos of Bullet fighting the Supernovas, but damn if it's impressive. BRRRRRAAAKKK MAMBA!!! KING COBRAAAAAAAA!

It's just the halfway point of the movie so of course Bullet overwhelms Luffy, and... and I think this is where the movie becomes visually a bit less appealing because Bullet uses his Gasha Gasha no Mi -- the 'Clank Clank Fruit' -- and fuses with his war-submarine into a robot. The still-animated robot fight is still kinda cool as Bullet curb-stomps the Supernovas, and we get that cool scene of Usopp fighting against someone he cannot possibly defeat, as he shoots little seeds that just plink uselessly against Bullet's robotic form. Bullet, again, lays the smackdown on the weakling and gives his 'rah rah me stronk you weak' speech. 

Oh, yeah, while all of this is going on, Law, Robin, Sanji and the rest of the characters with them discover that Buena Festa has betrayed all the other pirates by summoning a Marine Buster Call. The Marines want to wipe out the pirates, Bullet wants to prove his strength by tanking a Buster Call and defeating a Marine fleet, while Festa just wants to see the world burn by leaking the Eternal Pose that leads to the One Piece and tossing it into the hands of all the pirates. 

Now the idea of Festa's character would be great if we're given more than just a single movie to explore him. But we move so quickly to get back to the actual canon characters fighting that poor Festa is such an afternote that feels even more underbaked than Bullet, and I wonder that with the limited time that the movie has, if it wouldn't be better to fuse Festa and Bullet into a single character instead. Oh well. 

Which leads to a fun, chaotic moment as Sentomaru, a bunch of Vice Admirals and an army of Pacifistas start shooting up the pirates. And then we get a very awesome scene of Zoro fighting against Fujitora, which is also brilliantly animated with the animations of Fujitora's gravity powers and the personifications of giant ki tigers attacking each other. Fujitoria ultimately summons a giant meteor, which Zoro ichidai sanzen daisen sekai's into half... but then motherfucking Mihawk unleashes a slash that atomizes the remnants of the meteor. It's just super-epic scenes that I bet drives any theater of One Piece fans wild. 

Also, yeah, Hancock and Mihawk and Perona and Coby and Sentomaru and Hina and all these other characters just keep showing one after the other and I'm just excited, you know?

And then the movie becomes a lot less interesting because Bullet activates his awakening, and... becomes a giant CGI junk monster. We did get a CGI giant form with Gild Tesoro last movie, and it's not like the CGI monster isn't bad looking in and of itself. It's just that it clashes with the otherwise beautifully-and-sleekly-animated characters, and it really doesn't do anything interesting but stand in the middle of the island and wave his hands around. He beats the Vice Admirals, then seals all the Marines and pirates in and this trigges Akainu to order a Buster Call. 

Which... is like... so last season, I guess? The idea of a cannonball bombardment isn't really any more impressive than, say, telling Fujitora to summon meteors or some shit, so it really doesn't feel like there's too much of a threat beyond Smoker, Tashigi and the good marines panicking about how their bosses are happy to wipe them out.

Meanwhile, in probably the best-acted and most dramatic scene in the movie, we get Usopp, barely injured and practically broken, dragging Luffy's unconscious body and Usopp has to give it his all to prevent a burning log from crushing Luffy. Sure, Brook and Chopper show up to rescue them, and it's such a well voice-acted scene as Usopp just begs Chopper to treat Luffy first, before tearfully apologizing for being so weak and being unable to contribute in the fight. I really do want something equivalent to this to happen in the canon of the manga, actually, to contrast the scene in Water Seven where Luffy and Usopp fought. 

As everyone goes off and evacuates, we also get Rob Lucci and Crocodile showing up all for their own agendas. Eventually the battle is left to several combatants -- Luffy, Hancock, Law, Smoker, Sabo and, of course, good ol' Buggy. After some arguments between the combatants, they all decide to work together to fight Bullet's giant CGI kaiju form, mostly because they all have some sort of loyalty or respect to Luffy. Other than Buggy, obviously, who just keeps getting dragged on into epic scenes by Law's Room. We get probably the coolest shit Boa Hancock has ever done ever, which is running up a giant metal kaiju and kicking it so hard with a Perfume Femur Magna that it the force explodes off the other end. We get Crocodile interfering with the reformation with his Sables, Sabo and Smoker combining their Logia powers to slam onto Bullet, Lucci interfering from the side, and the epic four-way (plus Buggy) assault as Law brings in Hancock, Sabo and Smoker to blow up Bullet's torso. This allows Luffy, who's been building up his attack to create a King King King Kong Gun to beat the shit out of Bullet. Oh, and as a payoff to the major Usopp story, the seeds he uselessly launched at Bullet before activates, and vines wrap up around Bullet's inner mecha and immobilizes him. 

And... again, some great scenes, but ultimately I really would've rather had our heroes fight Bullet as basically 'evil Superman' that's just very powerful instead of a giant CGI robot. 

The Eternal Pose to Laugh Tale drops in full view of everyone and Hancock tells Luffy what it is. Crocodile and Lucci both zoom in to try and steal it, but Zoro and Sanji blocks them and makes the crowd goes wild. And just like Sabaody, Luffy smashes the Log Pose, saying that it wouldn't make his journey any more fun, and also denying the world the 'stampede' that Festa wants. (Also, Sabo beats up Festa, and gives a one-liner about how Festa will never be able to turn Luffy into his ally because Festa is scum).

The movie ends with all the other pirate ships attacking the Buster Call fleet, and Sabo creating a gigantic wall of fire to block Kizaru's attack. We even get a completely pointless but still pretty fucking fanservice-y moment of Ann, a character with illusion powers, creating an image of Ace doing a Hiken next to Sabo. 

And... and that's Stampede. It's really kind of frustrating because there are so many great moments. Genuinely well-scripted and well-acted moments involving Usopp, and the just epic action scenes especially when Bullet was still just a dude and not a CGI monstrosity. But the shallowness of Bullet's character, the lack of threat that the Buster Call possesses, the underwhelming CGI monster form does end up making Stampede feel incomplete. There's just too many moving pieces, but here's the thing -- there's so many moving fanservice pieces. At that point I just kind of forget about the inconsistencies about the movies and just squee at Fujitora and Zoro clashing swords or Sanji blocking Rob Lucci or Sabo and Smoker doing a combined attack or Mihawk atomizing a meteor or everything involving the Supernova-vs-Bullet and Gear-Fourth-vs-Bullet scenes. 

It's a fanwank movie, and I think every franchise is allowed to have fun with it, yeah?

Random Notes:
  • Even moreso than the other movies, Stampede is absolutely impossible to slot or massage into the canon of the manga. 
  • In addition to a hell lot of cameos from many canon (and some anime-exclusive) characters in crowd scenes, we get bounty posters for every single movie-exclusive villainous pirate in Buena Festa's room. 
  • Ann, the lady in green dress that's able to create illusions, ate the Bijo Bijo no Mi and hails from a One Piece live show. I think this marks the first time someone from the live shows is acknowledged by the anime. 
    • Ann hangs out with a robot-handed MC called Donald Moderate, but he's even more unmemorable compared to Buena Festa. 
  • They hid twenty Pandamen in this movie, because it's the 20th anniversary of the animel. 
  • Between Douglas Bullet and Byrnn D. World and probably a couple others I'm forgetting, I guess the other escaped Impel Down prisoners are just very convenient ways to explain a movie-only antagonist. 
  • It's just a shame that the movie team only ends up working with pre-Onigashima stuff, so Kid and Apoo in particular don't quite get to show all the cool things that they would show in that arc. 
  • ...yes, Bullet's (mostly unseen) backstory is what we eventually got for the (somewhat-partly-unseen) backstory for Kaido. 
  • I guess the only reason why Fujitora and especially Kizaru not doing jack-diddly-squat against Bullet is because Akainu tells them to stand back? Even if power-scaling isn't a major part of this movie, I'm going to assume that some gravity meteors or light-beam lasers are going to do a fair bit of good against Bullet's giant Transformer form. 

Sunday, 18 September 2022

One Piece 1060 Review: Judgment Rains From Above

One Piece, Chapter 1060: Luffy's Dream


I thought this was going to be a bit more of a simpler chapter, especially after the huge revelations in the past couple of chapters. We go back to the Straw Hats and I thought that we're going to be decompressing a bit as they travel to another part of the world. I mean, shit, we've finished the 'from the decks of the world' segment, surely?

But it is nice regardless to see the Straw Hats' reactions to the news that we, the audience, also find out simultaneously. Luffy is 100% against the idea that Sabo might do something like kill King Cobra. Admittedly it's a bit questionable to fully trust your brother who you really haven't met for decades (we, the audience, know Sabo's an okay dude), but I guess Luffy saw that Sabo was basically the same nice guy that he was in the past, and he's standing by it. 

There's a neat bit where we see characters like Sanji, Usopp and Chopper panicking over Vivi and Cobra; Nami going from pragmatic to joining the others in ugly-crying; and most interestingly the conversation between Zoro and Luffy. Luffy advocates going straight to Alabasta or Mary Geoise to hunt down Vivi, but Zoro basically puts his foot down. He compares this to how they reacted to Ace's vivre card in the past... a bad example, because Ace fucking died. But the rest of Zoro's point is solid. Unlike when Ace was about to be executed in Marineford, or when Robin was taken away to Enies' Lobby, or Sanji gallivanted away to Whole Cake Island... they had no idea where Vivi or Sabo might be. 

After some of the Straw Hats' reaction to that, Robin recaps the Cross Guild events to Luffy... and it actually is kind of interesting to realize that none of the Straw Hats that joined after Sanji would have ever met Buggy. And even then, Sanji and Usopp would've had only a brief glance of Buggy in Loguetown. Robin also notes that there are 'other' developments that he didn't want to overload Luffy with. Which might just be the whole Coby/Blackbeard/Hancock thing, or it could be something even more

And then in a massive two-page spread, Luffy once more talks about the dream he shared with Sabo and Ace... which has always cut away. When Ace told it to Yamato; when Roger told his dream to Whitebeard and Oden... it's something that a small portion of the fandom seemed to think is just the pirate king dream, but it's been subtly built up over the course of the series, and particularly prevalent in Wano, and we finally get to see all the Straw Hats' reaction to Luffy. 

Now one of the main prevailing theories is that Luffy wants to, like, make a whole party or have a feast with everyone in the world. And... and I think so far the reactions of the Straw Hats, which involve from confusion (Zoro, Jinbe, Nami) to laughter (Brook, Sanji, Franky) to just plain being stunned (Usopp, Robin) is pretty telling. Luffy also notes that being the King of Pirates is something that will make this dream a lot easier, whatever it means, and... well, while Usopp is still going on about how it's 'impossible', the rest of the crew eventually went into just laughing and going 'well, shit, let's find the last Lode Poneglyph and make you the King of Pirates ASAP'. 

...and then we get some huge revelations. 

I really wasn't too interested in the whole 'Sabo contacts Dragon' storyline, to be honest, but we get to see the Marines all panicking as they are trying to trace the whereabouts of Sabo. A nice nod to a little bit of world-building that was established a while back about jamming transponder snails, so Sabo probably didn't have access to one or maybe even wanted the Marines to overhear?

The Gorosei are listening in to this as well, realizing that Sabo is in the Lulusia Kingdom, one of the eight nations that rebelled a few days ago. The Gorosei mutter among themselves about how 'unlucky' Sabo is, while another one note that this is fate. We also see Im in silhouette listening to this as well in his weird-ass flower room. 

Sabo is reporting to the Revolutionaries that he wasn't the one that killed Cobra (again, kind of obvious) but that he saw something unbelievable -- the Empty Throne wasn't actually empty. Sabo's transmission got cut off just before he said that, but...

...as all of this is going on, something dark looms above the Lulusia Kingdom. 

We get to see the vampiric King Seki and his daughter Princess Komane (who's the noblewoman Koby rescued in the beginning of the Reverie arc) being imprisoned, and the guards are pretty chill with them. 

Im takes out a paintbrush and draws an 'X' over Lulusia. 

As the people of Lulusia panic in confusion, the Marine Surveillance Division gets a chilling message delivered to them. "No one detected anything abnormal today." Yep, some information suppression there... and then... "As for Lulusia, that kingdom... never existed."

As sixteen giant laser beams straight out of the Death Star rain down upon the island-kingdom of Lulusia and blow it the fuck up.

The final shot is a single panel of a bunch of waves, of the Revolutionaries being confused and trying to contact Sabo, while the Marine broadcast goes into a weather report about abnormal sea-quakes. God, that's actually pretty fucking chilling. The idea that Im has a whole island-destroying weapon (it's Uranus, isn't it?) isn't too out of the blue. But the way it's executed? The brush crossing the island, the sudden cutting off of the Marine surveillance, the information suppression... and especially the line of 'Lulusia never existed'? Damn. Damn!

(I don't think we're getting a Bleach or Hunter-x-Hunter style levels of power with the brush stroke causing the devastation to rain down on the island, unless that it's a very specific power with some drawbacks)

(Also, Sabo's a logia, so I don't buy him dying at all)

And then we cut to some wacky hijinks. Oh, haha, the Straw Hats are braving wacky New World weather. How quaint! Jinbe is being a helmsman, Chopper plays around with a kasa hat and nearly gets blown away, and our heroes see a giant swirling water orb. Luffy sees someone in the water, Sanji identifies it as a woman, Zoro cuts up the water orb... and Jewelry Bonney of all people drops out of it. 

What? Why? Okay??? Yeah, I guess we're going down the line of the Supernovas all being relevant in some way, and now it's Bonney's turn. She would be a great way to tell our heroes about what really happened in Mary Geoise, I suppose, although... I honestly didn't expect her of all people to join our heroes at this point in time! 

Man, One Piece is really on fire, huh? The end of Wano is pretty questionable, and I stand by it, but I really do love just how much we're ratcheting up the tension to the endgame. 

Random Notes:
  • It wasn't super clear, but Caribou's stuffed in a barrel with chains, so the implication was that the Straw Hats found out that he was a stowaway and stuffed him there. Could've been a lot more clearer, for sure. 
  • Also, it's not Carrot but another character that stowed away on a barrel, I guess!
  • It is interesting that Brook, whose idea of the world was like 90+ years ago, tells us that no one has ever had any problem with how (ancient) Alabasta is ruled. 
  • There's a small funny moment when we get a homage to when some of the original Straw Hats all go 'bweee Zoro you're a dick', the same thing that they did to Zoro when they were crying over Vivi being left behind. "You're an oni! No, an Onigashima!" is the funniest remark, and of course Zoro shuts Sanji down by going "shut up, fourth".
  • The Thousand Sunny's heel is included in the panels that show the Straw Hats reacting to Luffy. Now it could just be there to indicate time passing, but I am all for including this damn ship as a member of the crew!
  • Is that one giant-ass moon that sucked up Capone's ship pre-timekip related to this maybe-Uranus? Is Enel's Ark Maxim related to it? Is Doflamingo's 16 Holy Bullets attack related to the 16 beams of Armageddon that Im unleashed upon the Lulusia Kingdom?
  • Yeah, Brook, I don't think that warm eddy thing looks like an afro at all. 

Saturday, 17 September 2022

Gotta Review 'Em All, Part #41: Hisuian Regional Variants

This is part two of my coverage of the new forms introduced in Pokemon Legends Arceus, a spin-off game that ended up introducing way more than the fandom expected in terms of new forms, new features and... basically new everything. I've seen people calling it basically 'Generation 8.5', bridging the gap between Sword/Shield and all its DLC's and the upcoming Scarlet/Violet. 

Anyway, we covered all the brand-new species of Pokemon in Hisui in the previous segment, and I also tacked on any new regional forms specifically tied to those new evolutions (Qwilfish, Sneasel and Basculin) there. This one, we'll focus on all of the other regional variants. I had originally intended to do all of these in a single article, but I guess let's spread things out a little bit, eh?

Obligatory disclaimer that I did previously: I haven't played through the full story of Legends Arceus, and just like how all of these reviews would usually go, I might have a different perspective on these designs after I play it. Which... would be soon, actually. If there're enough new insights I got from playing through Legends Arceus, I'll come back and edit/re-upload these two articles. 

[Author's note: I actually did! this article was originally published May 2022, then re-edited and re-published at September 2022 after playing through Legends Arceus]

Obligatory disclaimer #2: because these are all regional variants, I will inevitably be scoring them more as how they differ from their original counterparts, which was also something I did for the Alolan and Galarian variants. 

Click here for the previous part.
Click here for the next part. 
Click here for the index.
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#058-059: Hisuian Growlithe & Arcanine
  • Types: Fire/Rock [both]
  • Japanese name: Gadi, Uindi
  • Category: Scout [Growlithe], Legendary [Arcanine]
So after going through a couple in the previous article that also came with new-species evolutions, we're starting off this group of Hisuian regional variants with good old Growlithe! Growlithe is a Fire/Rock Pokemon this time around, turned into a 'Scout' instead of a 'Puppy', and... and I guess where regular (or 'Kantonian') Growlithe is a mammalian animal based on a Shisa or a Komainu, Hisuian Growlithe, being part-Rock, is meant to be the statue itself? Regardless, though, while I get the inspiration, visually Hisuian Growlithe doesn't really communicate the 'Rock' part all that well.

Those extra chunks of fur that are meant to evoke the 'curled fur' style that these shisa statues are carved, and Growlithe does end up looking cute. I do like the little visual flourish of the head-fur covering its eyes, too, and I like that the main colouration is a darker shade of red instead of regular Growlithe's brighter orange. I didn't care for this regional variant at first, but I think it's grown on me a little. 

There's a couple of neat details in her dex entries, too. Hisuian Growlithe is noted to have transformed into this regional variant due to the volcanic activity in its habitat, causing igneous rock components to build up in its fur. Neat! They also patrol their territory in pairs, just like how Shisa statues are built -- you always need two for each side of the door. While there certainly was a pair of Growlithes in the game's story, the actual wild Growlithes only ever appear as single specimens. Boo!

It then evolves into Arcanine, with its mane and tail and cloud-feet things all being cast in a much rockier stone-grey. I actually do like the gradual change from the more natural (and more 'classic' Growlithe/Arcanine) lighter gray rock-fur into full-on darker gray. It looks pretty distinct from regular Arcanine, and while I will readily say that I feel like the original Arcanine looks cooler, that design has had 25+ years to ingrain itself into my brain. I like that Hisuian Arcanine is a fair bit more leonine, too, with the shape of its mane. Like Kleavor, this is a design that, once more, looks a lot neater in motion -- and as one of the game's five Noble Lords, you actually fight them. Or, well, dodge their attacks, Dark Souls style, and Arcanine was pretty impressive in his boss fight!

If nothing else, HIsuian Arcanine most definitely feels like it earns the 'legendary' moniker a lot better than Kantonian Arcanine, though that might just be me really being impressed by that mane and tail. With those, Hisuian Arcanine could be far more conceivably be mistaken for a peer of the likes of Entei or Raikou. Pretty cool, honestly. I don't love them, but they're very competent variants. 

 3/6, could be a 4/6.

#100-101: Hisuian Voltorb & Electrode
  • Types: Electric/Grass [both]
  • Japanese name: Biriridama, Marumine
  • Category: Sphere [both]
Pretty wonderful little lore in-joke, actually! If Voltorb and Electrode are Pokemon who mimic the shape of Pokeballs, what would they be in prehistoric times, when Pokeballs don't exist at all? Do Voltorbs even exist? Turns out that... yes, yes they did. We have established all the way back in Generation II, Gold & Silver, that ancient Pokeballs were created from special fruit called Apricorns... so Hisuian Voltorb actually mimic these ancient Apricorn balls! And since they're mimicking fruit, they're Electric/Grass instead! 

A very, very fun little update to reimagine these Pokemon as part-Grass-types, and I actually love that the normally grumpy Voltorb is re-characterized as being a 'uproarious' little prankster that giggles as it zaps people who pick it up. That's a cute set of eyeballs and those eyes just scream 'what a jackass'! But more than anything, I love the commitment of the game team trying to think of one of the more 'man-made' Pokemon and seeing how it would be in the past-times. 

Also, I guess unlike most of the other Hisuian forms (which could just be in hiding), if the Voltorb species as a whole are just the Pokemon equivalent of Mimics, I guess all Voltorbs have transformed into 'Kantonian' Voltorbs by virtue of these Apricorn-style Pokeballs being out of production in modern-day Pokemon settings? In-game, the Voltorbs can drop out of trees like fruits, or even hide in chests... like actual Mimics! 

In contrast, where Kantonian Electrode normally has a shit-eating grin on its face, Hisuian Electrode is almost always pissed off. I actually do like that its 'eyes' are actually carvings gouged into the 'wood' part of its fruit body, with the 'eyeballs' being the holes in the fruit, just like the one you see on top of Hisuian Voltorb's head. Is that why Hisuian Electrode is so pissed off? That it doesn't actually have real eyes? 

Instead of just having Explosion and Self-Destruct, Hisuian Electrode has access to 'Chloroblast', which...  merely cuts down half of its HP. I guess fruits are less naturally destructive compared to whatever metal that regular Pokeballs are made out of? Anyway, I actually like the idea and concept behind these two guys. There's honestly not a whole ton that could be done to make Voltorb and Electrode look different without vastly altering them. I just feel like with the gazillion Alcremie sub-forms and whatnot, they could've at least given Hisuian Electrode/Voltorb variants based on other Pokeball sub-types, perhaps? Nah, that'd be a bit too much work, I guess. 

 3/6. Again, remember that I rank these guys as variants. 

#157: Hisuian Typhlosion
  • Types: Fire/Ghost
  • Japanese name: Bakufun
  • Category: Ghost Flame
In an interesting twist, instead of Turtwig, Chimchar and Piplup, the Hisuian protagonist is allowed to choose from three different starters... which are all taken from different generations! You get a choice from Alola's Rowlet, Johto's Cyndaquil and Unova's Oshawott... very interesting choices! And all of them receive Hisuian final forms! The three Johto starters have kind of been notorious for being mono-typed and being relatively overshadowed by literally every starter that came before and after them. And while mean ol' Venusaur, Charizard and Blastoise kept getting mega evolutions and gigantamaxes and whatnot, the Johto starters were left in the dust. 

Clearly the Nintendo staff realize that Cyndaquil is the most superior of the three Johto starters, though, and good old Typhlosion gets a brand-new Hisuian variation that's Fire/Ghost. It's a pretty simple change on paper, but I really do love just how they went through the trouble of even redesigning the patterns on Typhlosion's head and neck and giving him a calmer personality. Hisuian Typhlosion's flames are now ghostly flames, and it's connected to the "energy of the sacred mountain towering at Hisui's center"... which I assume is going to be something that's a bit more relevant to the story and the setting. I just kind of wished that there are a couple more extra ghostly regional variants to highlight this, but I guess three (?) are plenty. 

I do like the purple flames, and I do like that the necklace of fireballs on its neck are meant to represent magatama beads specifically. While it's normally peaceful and content to guide souls to the afterlife, Typhlosion can still unleash, well, an 'explosion' of anger. And when it's fully angry, it unleashes 108 "ghost flames" from its neck, which is its signature move, Infernal Parade. And since this game's Hokkaido-inspired setting draws a lot from Ainu culture, Hisuian Typhlosion is apparently meant to represent Kamuy-huci, a goddess who lives in the flaming hearth and serves as a gateway between the world of humans and the spirit world. Pretty cool! I didn't think I'd like this variant so much, but ultimately, the more I learn about Hisuian Typhlosion, the cooler he becomes. 

 3/6.

#483: Dialga: Origin Forme
  • Types: Steel/Dragon
  • Japanese name: Diaruga Orijinforumu
  • Category: Temporal
Okay, since Giratina received his "Origin Forme" back in Platinum, which transforms him from a centipede-demon to a snake-wyrm-demon, I guess it's not a surprise that his 'brothers' Dialga and Palkia have origin forms too? It's just that... it's kind of bizarre, I feel, that the game called Legends: Arceus doesn't have a brand-new Arceus form but rather new ones for Dialga and Palkia... or, well, that the game's main plot actually still centers on Dialga and Palkia. 

Dialga's Origin Forme seems to be such a mishmash of design elements of the original Dialga and Arceus himself, though. It's got Dialga's head and distinctive tail, and Arceus' little midsection choker thing, and... and what is going on here, anyway? This reminds me a lot of Black/White Kyurem. At least Dialga Origin Forme at least has colour continuity. The dex entry notes that Dialga is taking a form that 'bears a striking resemblance to the Creator Pokemon'. So depending on choices you make in the game, Origin Dialga or Origin Palkia will be the boss you fight, while the regular version of whichever one you didn't fight ends up aiding you. 

So yeah, it sure is Dialga and Arceus kind of combined. Its head certainly looks more like Arceus, and its rear legs has Arceus's slender horse legs in contrast of those giant murder-masher front legs. And there's Arceus's little waist-ring thing.

...and what the fuck is up with that giant... thing on its chest? That giant gem-cannon thing? What is that? The in-game model makes it clear that the chevrons extend on either side so it's not Dialga choking on a giant inhaler, but it's still utterly weird.

And... I don't know. I've never been the biggest fan of Dialga and Palkia, and out of the 'mascot' legendaries, I've always felt like the space-time duo were the most cluttered. Dialga Origin Forme does have better colours, but is so much more bizarre and incoherent everywhere else. I almost appreciate that they're going for something weird, something almost Ultra-Beast-esque in trying to show that Dialga is morphing into something... eldritch and beyond comprehension or something. I get that. But there's just a bit too much going on here for me to give it a good score, really. I do appreciate the mean-looking front legs, but that's about it. 

 1/6, for the idea that this is a distorted design. 

#484: Palkia: Origin Forme
  • Types: Water/Dragon
  • Japanese name: Parukia Orijinforumu
  • Category: Spatial
Likewise, Palkia also transforms into a more Arceus-looking form, although since Dialga already starts off as a quadruped while Palkia starts off as a kaiju... Palkia looks so much more different. It loses its dinosaur hands, and instead gains four slender horse-legs. That stomach-ring thing also doesn't look quite as much as Arceus's as Dialga's does, and I'm not sure where that Ninetales-tail comes from. The overall look of Palkia's Origin Form is a bit more coherent, I feel, compared to Dialga's, while also exuding the (I think intended) sense of wrongness that this form doesn't look quite as cohesive as the Palkia we're used to.  

Interestingly, while the dex entry for Dialga Origin Forme notes that Origin Forme is Dialga's "true form", Palkia's Origin Forme is described as "Palkia's strategy for gaining Arceus's powers", which hints at something more sinister or desperate on Palkia's part? 

Again,  I actually appreciate these two a bit more now that I realize that they're meant to represent something so bizarre that they look 'wrong' to us. It doesn't make me like these two origin formes, but at least there's a reason to them looking like something out of this world. I'll give Palkia the higher score cause it looks a bit weirder to my head by being not quite just a mishmash of two Pokemon features. 

 2/6, same as above.

#503: Hisuian Samurott
  • Types: Water/Dark
  • Japanese name: Daikenki
  • Category: Formidable
As mentioned before, our Water starter is Oshawott, hailing all the way from Unova... and over the years, I've developed such a huge appreciation for Unova, the bastard unfavourite child of the fandom, that I'm happy anytime an Unovan Pokemon gets the spotlight. Hisuian Samurott doesn't change a whole ton from the original Samurott design, I'd argue. But it goes from pure-Water to Water/Dark, swapping all the brown-gold shell implements for more raggedy dark-blue-and-maroon ones. This small change alone makes Hisuian Samurott look so much edgier and more threatening without trying to change too much, and the addition of the more mean-looking eyes and a slight change in Samurott's facial hair really seals the deal. 

Hisuian Samurott is basically a huge contrast to the samurai-knight theme of the original Samurott, and is a savage, tricky fighter befitting of the Dark-type. Apparently, growing up in the region of Hisui has really caused poor Oshawott to become jaded to the world and essentially adopt a more pragmatic fighting style. Its signature move, "Ceaseless Edge", even leaves behind shell splinters that continually cause damage to the enemy over time, which is defintiely something I could see happening from the jagged coral spikes on this thing's armour. 

I've always kind of been 'yeah, he exists' with regular-flavour Unovian Samurott, but this one? This one's actually cool. It improves on the original Samurott by a fair bit and I didn't even know I needed this variation. 

 4/6.

#549: Hisuian Lilligant
  • Types: Grass/Fighting
  • Japanese name: Doredia
  • Category: Spinning
Okay??? Okay, to be fair, Liligant is one of those Pokemon that I kind of forget exists a lot of times. She's been featured a fair bit in the Isle of Armor segment with a specific set of areas that Liligant shows up all the time, but... but her cross-version counterpart Whimsicott is always more memorable to me, and especially after Whimsicott got the Fairy-typing. Poor Liligant is kind of forgotten, especially since flower-humanoid Pokemon became a bit more common. So it's a pleasant surprise that good old Liligant receives a Hisuian variant... and one that turns her into... Grass/Fighting? The game really highlights how much Hisuian Liligant now likes to spin around and kick around as a dancer. 

Liligant apparently adopted to life on mountains with deep snow, but instead of turning into Grass/Ice (which would be cool), Hisuian Liligan instead sheds her big bulb-skirt, dons a pair of ice-skating shoes (which look like flower stamen, a nice touch) and generally becomes a bit more meaner-looking in terms of her leaf-arms and the smaller flower on her 'hat'. I also appreciate the addition of purple-pink to her palette. 

There's honestly something just a bit lacking and I feel like they could've done a bit more with her, though. Maybe emphasize more on her spinning ballerina ice-figure-skater thing? Would I have liked Liligant more if she was Grass/Ice, or would that be too obvious? I really don't know what to decide. It's a nice colouration, and at least Liligant has something now. 

 3/6.

#570-571: Hisuian Zorua & Zoroark
  • Types: Normal/Ghost [both]
  • Japanese name: Zoroa, Zoroaku
  • Category: Spiteful Fox [Zorua], Baneful Fox [Zoroark]
...sometimes you just take a look at a design. Like, a regional variant or super form or a mega or giga evolution or what-have-you in Pokemon. You look at it, and you go... 'yup, that's an obvious attempt at being a crowd-pleaser', you know? Like... Gigantamax Charizard is one that springs to mind immediately. With some of these you just nod and move on, but with some of them, you go... yeah, it's meant to be a crowd pleaser but I'm screaming as part of that very crowd

That's how I felt with Hisuian Zorua and Zoroark. Without even going to the fact that Zorua and Zoroark are already two of the most popular Pokemon from Generation V, just look at the colours here! Turning Zorua gray isn't super exciting, but to turn his tufts of fur into wraith-like blobs of ectoplasm that trail off into flames? Not to mention those sad baby fox eyes. There's just something so... so eerie and spooky about Hisuian Zorua that you just know that they're really trying to tap into the 'yokai' side of inspiration for these guys. 

And then you read the description in the Pokedex. Hisuian Zorua is "a once-departed soul, returned to life in Hisui". It's a ghost baby fox. Yes, Hisuian Zorua is a Normal/Ghost type, and the dex notes that it "derives power from resentment", which is the source of the hitodama-esque flames that raise from its head and neck, and that's how Hisuian Zorua vents lingering malice. Holy shit! That's such a metal concept, and probably simultaneously one of the saddest backstories!

Hisuian Zoroark goes even wilder and there's just absolutely nothing that I dislike about this form. Those eyes, those absolutely 'pent-up anger and frustration' eyes so commonly seen in anime, just look so perfect knowing that Zoroark is canonically a very protective parent Pokemon. And, as the existence of Hisuian Zorua has shown us, every single damn Zorua is dead in Hisui. Yeah, all those Hisuian Zoroark, as ghosts, would be pretty pissed off. I also love that Unovian Zoroark's traditional kabuki hair gets transformed into this utterly unkempt, raging mass of lashing hair-tendrils that end in red-pink. Such a great and striking design that really embodies how it "looks like an embodiment of death", as the dex itself notes. 

Hisuian Zoroark is then basically just a psychotic anti-hero that attacks anything and everything that comes into its path, a sort of... maliciousness that I don't think I can easily remember being so key-coded into a Pokemon before. And the dex itself even mentions that 'Zoroark attacks its nemeses with a bitter energy so intense, it lacerates Zoroark's own body' -- which explains those nasty, frostbite-like tumours on Hisuian Zoroark's arms and legs. And from the wording of the Pokedex, at least, it's implied that these aren't necessarily wounds it has fighting to defend its territory or anything when it was alive, but rather wounds inflicted from the sheer amount of malice pouring out of it. 

And that's without mentioning Zoroark's signature 'illusion' ability. Instead of using it as a kitsune would to trick travelers going into its forest territory, these Hisuian variants are noted to actually use the illusions more maliciously, to torment and terrify any who encounter it to the point of insanity. Damn, you're intense!

Yeah, it's kind of 'basic' if you come down to it, but I really like the visuals of both Hisuian Zorua and Zoroark. There's a trace of the 'old' Zorua/Zoroark here (and I'm frankly surprised they didn't slap the 'Dark' type on them anyway) because Hisuian Zoroarks are still extremely protective of their young... and any trainer that earns its loyalty. It's just that Hisuian Zoroark has been so burned by the sheer injustice in the world that it'll just murder first and ask questions never. 

 6/6.

#628: Hisuian Braviary
  • Types: Psychic/Flying
  • Japanese name: Woguru
  • Category: Battle Cry
Okay, okay, this isn't bad! I was a bit confused that USA-bird Braviary is transplanted to Hisui, but turns out that this eagle is specifically based on the Steller's Sea-Eagle, which apparently is distinguished by its pointed central tail feathers, something that Hisuian Braviary most definitely has. The Steller's Sea Eagle is well-known in Hokkaido for migrating there during winter, which is apparently what Hisuian Braviary does. Hisuian Braviary is also slightly bigger than regular Braviary, and serves as transportation for your characters. 

Black-and-white is a very neat colouration even if it's a bit more subdued compared to Unovan Braviary, but Hisuian Braviary is actually Psychic/Flying, represented here by a collection of... psychic flames? I guess those are psychic energy? That coalesces into two almost eyespot-looking markings on top of Braviary's forehead. Its little gimmick is that it's a terrifying hunter that uses psychic shockwave 'bloodcurdling battle cries' to blast lakes, stun fishes, and grab the stunned prey that float up. Interesting. It's not the most interesting thing in this game and I almost gave it 2/6, but the Psychic flame eye-spots does give Hisuian Braviary something a bit of a neatness factor. 

 3/6.

#705-706: Hisuian Sliggoo & Goodra
  • Types: Steel/Dragon [both]
  • Japanese name: Numeiru, Numerugon
  • Category: Snail [Sliggoo], Shell Bunker [Goodra]
Oh. OH!!! How unexpected! Kalos's pseudo-legendary Goomy doesn't get a Hisuian form because everyone knows that Goomy is the most perfect and amazing and completely-designed of all Pokemon designs to have come in the past eight generations, but I think I'm not alone in saying that its evolutions left something to be desired, right? Or was that just me? I have really nothing against Sliggoo and Goodra; they're snail-dragons... but the fact that they had to live up to Goomy and be a pseudo-legendary and also inexplicably not have the Water-typing even though their method of evolution ties to the raining weather all end up making me not like them quite as much. I gave Goomy a 5/5 when I first reviewed Pokemon XY's designs, and I gave Sliggoo and Goodra 3/5, which I think is still more or less consistent with how I feel. 

But now? Now Sliggoo's Hisuian counterpart has a SHELL! I... I don't realize just how much Sliggoo and especially Goodra needed that je ne sais quoi to really stand out. The base Sliggoo herself isn't really changed and in fact has quite an adorable expression poking out of that otherwise very smooth shell, and that super-smooth shell has given it a Steel/Dragon typing. Dialga, eat your heart out, Clearly Sliggoo is the superior metal dragon here! 

Despite is :D expression, Hisuian Sliggoo is described to be a 'creature given to melancholy'. No! Sliggoo! She's the evolution stage that can sometimes accidentally melt its owners and friends because she can't control her acid mucus, right? Nooo! The adaptation given to Sliggoo's metal shell is noted by the Pokedex to be 'mucus on its skin reacting with the iron in Hisui's water'. 

Also, while it isn't exactly one-to-one, the fandom has picked up a possible real-world inspiration in the Scaly-Foot Gastropod Chrysomallon squamiferum, also known as the "Volcano Snail", which is a deep-sea gastropod who gained metal deposits in its shells due to its proximity to underwater volcanic vents. 

While I've always liked Sliggoo to some degree, I've always found Goodra to be a bit lacking and I think it's because of how ultimately kind of simple her design ends up being? A simple kaiju? Which, by the way, I'm not knocking around any of my 'simply kaiju' Pokemon like Nidoqueen or Rhydon. But I guess it's just the fact that Goodra evolved from such a interesting set of designs in Goomy and Sliggoo... and I still don't like the fact that it gained a pair of anime eyes, but at least Hisuian Goodra's tired-looking eyes and the snail-slime that it drips from its arms make it look more like a proper 'snail dragon'. 
Of course, Hisuian Goodra's tail has entirely coiled up into a giant metallic shell, which... which I would call as boring compared to Sliggoo and her portable home, until I saw animations of this thing that show that the entire dinosaur-dragon body could actually squelch and hide inside the shell. That adds so much points to Hisuian Goodra being actually an adorable and well-realized snail monster concept!

Hisuian Goodra is noted to 'loathe solitude' and 'extremely clingy' and 'will fume and run riot' if left by its owner. So like a particularly clingy pomeranian dog, then. Honestly, it's the shell. It's the shell that really made what was otherwise a pretty forgettable design into one of my favourite Hisuian designs.

 6/6.

#713: Hisuian Avalugg
  • Types: Ice/Rock
  • Japanese name: Kurebesu
  • Category: Iceberg
Oh! Another Kalosian Pokemon that's more or less been forgotten, I think the only time I actually cared about Avalugg was in one of the Sword/Shield DLC where I thought 'oh, these guys in the water, that's how they're meant to be integrated to the overworld'. Or that might be screenshots of the New Pokemon Snap, which I also need to play at some point. But poor Avalugg himself has kind of been a Pokemon that I always kind of forget. And I'm not sure why it's so forgettable. I guess because it looks kind of awkward or something with its sheared-flat dorsal side? But that's the whole point of its design!

Hisuian Avalugg is an Ice/Rock Pokemon, though, I think meant to resemble a glacier or an icy mountain. Fortunately, they realized that simply changing Avalugg's lower body to rock isn't going to be much more interesting, so they decided to strap... uh... those two gigantic snowplow implements to the sides of Hisuian Avalugg's mouth like a giant set of beetle mandibles. Avalugg's original quasi-reptilian face is still under there, by the way. The snowplow-manidbles swing aside to reveal its actual mouth. Cool! A much cooler and more organic usage of the shovel mouth than Mega Rayquaza did!

I wasn't very impressed with Hisuian Avalugg originally, giving it a score of 2/5, but... but here's one thing that the games didn't really make clear. The Hisuian Avalugg that plays a major part in the story? He's gigantic. He's kaiju-sized. The size of a small iceberg. And you stand on a rocky outcropping, dodging ice mortars and surface-to-surface Icicle Crash missiles launched from him like a sentient ice-godzilla-battleship creature. That boss fight alone has elevated Avalugg into being one of the more memorable designs from this game. 

 4/6. Solely thanks to the giant boss fight. 

#724: Hisuian Decidueye
  • Types: Grass/Fighting
  • Japanese name: Junaipa
  • Category: Arrow Quill
And our final Hisuian regional variant and our final starter is good old Decidueye! And... the Rowlet line has always been my favourite of the Alolan starters, and honestly, if I ever did a grading of them, Decidueye would come scarily close to being one of my all-time favourites. The fact that I was so utterly underwhelmed with the final evolutions of Sword/Shield's choices also means that, by proxy, I end up feeling just a bit more attachment to Alola and Kalos's starter evolutions and how well-done their final forms were. 

And Hisuian Decidueye swaps regular Alolan Decidueye's Grass/Ghost typing for a Grass/Fighting typing... but then it's coloured in autumn colours, which is something that most people would more associate with death. Okay? I guess this would be the more 'natural' Decidueye since I would assume that these owls' original default state would be... not ghostly? The Hisuian Pokedex notes that the air stored inside the rachises of Hisuian Decidueye's feathers insulates the Pokemon from Hisui's extreme cold... and somehow, this influences its evolution into this regional variant? I'm sorry, I don't quite get how that turned him from Robin Hood into a ronin. 

But that aside, I do like the idea of what they're going for here. That huge set of leaves arranged like a kasa hat is essentially the stereotypical image of a wandering ronin, and as a wandering ronin, Hisuian Dedicueye basically goes around beating the shit out of people with its long legs, only using its arrows as a finishing move. Unlike Alolan Decidueye who uses its shadow-sealing "Spirit Shackle" arrows as its primary method of fighting, Hisuian Decidueye's "Triple Arrows" are actually meant to represent hidden ninja-samurai weapons? I felt like the animation could've done more to emphasize this, though, since Decidueye just summons the three arrows literally out of thin air. 

Just like his fellow starters Typhlosion and Samurott, the choice of Decidueye as one of the Hisuian starters draws from another Ainu kamuy, Cikap-Kamuy, deity of the owls that watches over the country and villages. Very cool! I think I ultimately like the original Decidueye more than Hisuian Decidueye, but that's not to knock this badass owl-ronin's design at all. It's a perfectly serviceable and pretty cool regional variant; it's just that Alolan Decidueye's simultaneous dorkiness and badassery just appeals to me so much more. 

 5/6.
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For completion's sake, I guess I'll mention the 'Alpha Pokemon', which are... honestly, flavour-wise basically the same thing with Totem Pokemon from Sun and Moon, minus elaborate lairs. Some Pokemon are just bigger than average, and roam the overworld with glowing eyes and an aggressive nature that will basically force you to battle whenever they meet you. It's more of a gameplay standpoint, really, so I don't have a whole ton to say about it. It feels much more natural than the nonsensical gimmickry they have with Dynamax, at least!

And Arceus also technically kinda gets a new form except not really, since Legend Plate Arceus is basically just regular Arceus. But now he can transform into whatever type the enemy is weakest against basically automatically when he uses Judgement, which... makes the Multitype ability actually practical to use in combat a la Protean, instead of having the player manually switch plates which isn't particularly useful in-combat. So that's cute, and this game really does give us the implication that, hey, the Arceus we're used to is merely a fraction of the true being. That's appropriately spooky. 
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And that about wraps it up for Generation VIII... for the... third time? Is this the third time that I've said "I'm finally done with Generation VIII", I think? Well, with Scarlet and Violet announced relatively recently, I think I can safely say that, yes, it is actually adieu to Galar and Hisui for the foreseeable future. (i.e. the starters for that generation... I don't immediately love any of the starters, not the way I immediately took to Froakie, Rowlet or Sobble...)

It's such been a wild run, this generation. So many decisions that Nintendo and Gamefreak made that I clearly don't agree on, but still so many designs that I end up liking. I was very hesitant about Legends Arceus in general, but I am so happy to see that it's actually both well-received and actually brings in a whole ton of great new designs for us to enjoy. Honestly, the whole Hisuian gang feels so much more cohesive as a 'DLC pack' compared to either the Isle of Armor and the Crown Tundra, both of which felt kind of scattershot with the theme of the Pokemon they're introducing. 

Anyway... that's it. I've edited my reviews after finishing the game. Still unimpressed with the Origin Forms and think they are messy, but a lot of the Hisuian forms have grown on me a lot. And even the ones that didn't wow me originally have mostly gotten an extra point or two to get into the 3/5 range. Pretty fun stuff. Bring in Scarlet/Violet now!