Friday, 15 January 2016

Constantine Ep. 12 Review: Eclipso Except Nope

Constantine, Episode 12: Angels and Ministers of Grace


Yeah, we're at the penultimate episode of not just the season, but the series. Because of all the cancellation and stuff. It's a bit sad, really, how ultimately filler-y the series ended up being. Way too many episodes are just generic horror movie cliche settings, building up cryptically towards the ever-present Rising Darkness without really revealing anything. We get some nice buildup for recurring villain Papa Midnite, the B-team and hints at Zed's ever-mysterious Resurrection Crusade backstory. Alas, it seems that with one episode left to go, and this one being relatively filler-y as well.

Don't get me wrong, as always there's something relatively good here with developing both Manny and Zed -- a two-for-one deal when most Constantine episodes generally tackle a single supporting character. We get some nice funny moments as Manny gets himself trapped within a mortal body, and some deeper ones as he gets a bit more metaphysical and kinda goes all flustered over things that he previously really doesn't seem to be bothered with. Zed gets to face the question of whether her visions are side effects of a tumour, or something granted to her by higher powers. Chas even gets significantly more screentime than his non-spotlight episodes, and has a more emotional role as he keeps emphasizing to Constantine the need to pay attention to his allies' mental health. It's a nice little question and honestly these plot threads could've been running through so many of the more filler-y episodes of the past.

We get a nice little DC Comics nod too, with the Black Diamond, the cursed plot device of the week. I kinda smiled a little when the Black Diamond got mentioned -- the Black Diamonds are pieces of Eclipso, the Angel/Spirit of Wrath that kinda likes going around and causing shit as one of DC's bigger villains. We don't get a mention of Eclipso or any of that backstory, though, other than a sly nod about the properties of the Black Diamond, how the shards want to rejoin with each other and stuff. It's otherwise an unremarkable demonic plot device granting berserker powers and amplifying anger.

The plot, though? Again, like last episode, it has nothing to do, really, with the Rising Darkness and the Resurrection Crusade and I probably have to make my peace that only one, if any, of these big organizations will play a role in the series finale. It's a generic cursed plot device causes a serial killer, and the episode even plays out like a generic Scooby Doo episode -- around one-thirds into the episode and we're introduced to an obviously assholish ugly-looking character that looks like the obvious killer but is not, and there's a good-looking guest star that is memorable enough to remember if he shows up later, but doesn't really give much of an impression... other than he's suspiciously unremarkable for someone that the show lingers so long upon. And lo and behold, the crazy angry drunkard isn't the killer, but rather the nice doctor who showed up a couple of times to deal with Zed.

The main points of the episode, of course, go to Manny as he actually gets a chance to be a character instead of a plot device that yaps mystical gibberish. Though honestly I'm not quite sure just why Constantine trapped Manny in a mortal body other than to get back at all the passive-aggressive mysticism he's done throughout the season. Yes, Constantine is a dick, but honestly that really could've been written far better.

Overall, though, it's a far stronger episode than most of its filler ilk, and possibly the strongest of the filler episodes, really, considering the character work done for Zed, Constantine and especially Manny, but it's overall really just filler... and one that's unfortunately placed one episode before the finale. And that's not an optimal spot for filler episodes.

One Piece 812 Review: Civil War, Al Capone and Last Names

One Piece, Chapter 812: Capone "Gang" Bege


Holy shit this chapter got so interesting so fast. The cover page's just another showing of the civilians on the earliest chapters of One Piece reacting to the new bounty posters, and this time around it is the turn of Nami's village-mates Genzo and... Nojiko? reacting to Nami's new sexy poster. And that's definitely the only thing in this chapter that's not remotely interesting.

The chapter is almost entirely in flashback form and while the effectiveness of having the whole Jack/Big Mom/Mink hullabaloo all happen in the flashback sequence, you can't deny that it's entertaining as all hell. We pick up with Pekoms arriving to find Zou all torn apart... accompanied by the titular Capone Bege. Capone is easily among the least interesting of the Ten Supernovas. Well, before this chapter, anyway. I didn't quite realize how much Pekoms would love Zou and how freaked-out he would react when he saw Zou in shambles. He blames the Straw Hats, of course, and is utterly furious.

We cut a bit to Nami and Sanji hanging out in the city, with the silly clothes-switching thing between Nami and Wanda which literally everyone thought was the case. Sanji is taking advantage of the culture to kiss every pretty furry girl. Caesar Clown is actually... starting to be a bit more amicable, even if it's only to show off his own genius.

We then see Pekoms get a tearful reunion with his family and friends, finding them mostly alright. He finds out that Jack is the one responsible, whereas the Straw Hats are instead Zou's saviour. All this while Capone is just standing behind him looking wholly disinterested in the whole thing. Sanji and Nami witness the arrival of Pekoms (who Wanda and the other Minks just treat as a delinquent, out-of-touch-with-the-world people that they are) and discuss what to do. Sanji immediately considers handing Caesar Clown over, especially after they find out that, well, Caesar basically didn't pay back Big Mom some funding that he owed her. But Sanji also considers the fact that Luffy already picked a fight with Big Mom, Chopper points out that they broke Big Mom's ship, and Caesar Clown is all like 'hey man let's assassinate them eh eh'. 

Sanji and Capone meet each other's eyes and understand each other in a way that only smoking men can do. Sanji brings Brook along -- again, as a big Brook fan, I cannot understate how awesome it is that Sanji puts him above Nami and Chopper in terms of being important/intimidating/fight-capable enough for a negotiation. But intimidation seems to be unnecessary as Pekoms just breaks down and thanks Sanji and even bows down in front of him. Pekoms even immediately makes a deal -- they will intentionally fail the mission to kill the Straw Hats, and will leave them after Sanji hands over Caesar. 

Capone gets understandably pissed, but Pekoms tells the 'newbie' to shut up and says that he'll take the heat, talking about how the Straw Hats saved his family. Capone's just pissed, and opens fire at Pekoms with the little dudes hiding inside his fortress body. Internal dissent within the Big Mom pirates! Pekoms falls, and Capone unleashes his Devil Fruit powers upon Team Curly Hats. We only saw Capone's powers a grand total of once, and it was kinda trippy and weird, but it's confirmed that Capone's body is a walking fortress in which he can shrink and hide his army of mafia pirates. An army of mafia pirates that materialize and surround Sanji and Brook. 

Capone introduces himself all badass-like, and confirms his Devil Fruit as the 'Shiro Shiro Fruit', the Castle Fruit. Capone's underling 'Whit', some creepy-looking dude that looks like Bacchus from Fairy Tail and Caribou underwent the fusion dance. Whit has apparently captured Chopper and Nami, and Capone successfully gets Caesar Clown to come out of his hiding place. Pretty cool of Caesar to actually have the balls to hang out and observe or try to ambush the Big Mom Pirates... Caesar Clown for next Straw Hat? I highly doubt that, but maybe he can hang out with the Straw Hat Fleet or whatever. 

Capone captures the entirety of Team Curly Hats and shrinks them down and forces them to sit on a dining room table all Blofeld-like, and apparently Capone can create a projection of his real body within his fortress body all goop-like. Apparently Capone has a change in orders, though, and there is an invitation to Big Mom's tea party... a wedding between the 35th daughter of the Charlotte (Big Mom) family, Pudding... and the Vinsmook family's third son, Sanji.

Yep, Sanji is a Prince after all. Fifteen years of jokes and whatnot, and Sanji is a prince of some sort. Sanji Vinsmook. Huh. Tenryubito? One of the as-of-yet-unnamed kingdoms? Also, he has siblings? What. Just what.

Not sure if Pudding is Chapati Lola or not, or even if Lola is indeed Big Mom's daughter, but still.

Overall a pretty awesome chapter. Sanji was awesome, Capone was awesome, Pekoms was unexpectedly great, we get some nice moments from Caesar Clown as well... yeah, definitely looking forward to seeing how all this is going to turn out. So who's going to be the big bad of this arc, is my question. Is it Jack the Drought? Is it Big Mom? Is it Whitebeard Junior? Man, so many to choose from. Also, motherfucking PRINCE SANJI!

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Constantine Ep. 11 Review: Inception

Constantine, Episode 11: A Whole World Out There


It's an episode that honestly would've worked better as one of the filler episodes earlier in the show's life. As the third-last episode in a season, though? A season that built up two big organizations, one of which is causing the still-vague 'rising darkness' deal that is the driving force of the season's plot... you'd think they would go for something more plot relevant. Yeah, Constantine really had a fair bit going on for it, but poor plot and character management (once more supporting characters Zed and Chas take a break and are wholly absent) and it's honestly no wonder that the show got cancelled after its first season.

On paper it's a solid concept, even if it plays on two more overly-used horror genre -- a serial killer targeting a group of young friends, and a killer that lives in a dream world/mirror world. In this episode, an Egyptian soul-hopping ritual thing went awry on a campus where Ritchie Simpson was teaching with. Ritchie, the reluctant ally that Constantine recruited in the pilot, ends up getting screentime to develop his character since he's a stark contrast to the likes of Zed and Chas who are all in for fighting the fight. Ritchie is, as Constantine points out, a coward running away ever since the Newcastle incident, and despite his knowledge regarding the spiritual world he wants nothing to do with it. An episode starring him is awesome.

Only... Jacob Shaw, the titular antagonist, is not very threatening, nor does the show really make him feel threatening. Someone who has jumped out of his soul a long time ago and is living in a twisted house that he can manipulate all Inception or Matrix-style, and is kinda hellbent on enacting some Freddy Krueger shit through mirrors... yeah, a random serial killer doesn't feel all that threatening to John Constantine.

There is some creepy visuals as the wounds inflicted on Shaw's dream world manifests on the students in the real world, of course, and some nifty intentionally-bad-CGI as Shaw and Ritchie both manipulate the dream world... but it's ultimately filler stuff, and a filler plot that honestly dragged on for way too long than it should. Both Constantine and Ritchie really play well off each other and their characterization and discussion about guilt and whatnot are decent, but the general filler-y nature of the plot really doesn't make me engaged in what is going on. The philosophical bit near the end where Ritchie seems happy to be left behind in the dream world is done quite well too. There's some nice discussion about Gary and about Constantine's past, but there's a bit of a sinking feeling that since we're only two episodes down the road we probably won't get the full story about Newcastle, or if we do it'll compete for screentime alongside the Brujeria and Resurrection Crusade plots.

The random deus ex machina that Ritchie somehow has There Is No Spoon powers and can manipulate the dream world really came out of nowhere, and felt like a cheap way to end the crisis.

Honestly, as well-acted as Ritchie's character is, he's ultimately throwaway. We already have Constantine confronting the events of Newcastle with both Gary and Anne-Marie, both of the part of far more interesting and engaging stories respectively. So I really don't know what the point of this episode is in the grand scheme of things.

Overall, though, there really isn't much content to really analyse in this episode. It's one of the filler-y-est of Constantine, possibly rivaling or surpassing the child murderer one in how detached and utterly meaningless filler fluff it has. Manny tries to substitute for the lack of Zed and Chas and Rising Darkness by uttering some cryptic lines, but not even his scenes really had any weight to it. It's an episode you can easily skip without missing much.

Monday, 11 January 2016

Constantine Ep. 10 Review: Chas vs. Felix Faust

Constantine, Episode 10: Quid Pro Quo


So this is the Chas (I may have misspelled his name for like nine episodes now) origin story. We learn about his backstory and his family life, which has been built up for quite some time now. Apparently Chas isn't just immortal -- he's got 47 lives stored within him all Full Metal Alchemist style. By the end of this episode, he has 30. Apparently a half-drunk Constantine cast a 'joke' spell from the ages of Merlin which, when Chas ended up being trapped in a burning accident, ends up sucking the souls of the other 47 people present (because he's a worthier knight than the rest) and, well, basically having the ability to return from the dead 47 times.

And apparently his wife and daughter are estranged simply because Chas keeps going off to help Constantine to fight Monkey Kings and shit, a far more mundane and non-mystical reason than I expected with this show... and while it's understandable and we don't get to see a lot of the interplay between Chas and Renee I felt that this angle could've really been explored further instead of just having Renee being upset because Chas missed a birthday party or two. Bringing up Newcastle and being afraid that Geraldine would end up like Astra is actually a good point, but after that one line of dialogue it ends up being shuffled aside in favour of the rather trite TV excuse of "you don't spend enough time with your family" deal.

The villain of the piece is Felix Faust, a classic DC villain that is the go-to villain when they need a sorcerer villain that's threatening enough but don't want to disturb the fringe properties like Hellblazer or Sandman or cheapen one of the bigger pan-series threats like Trigon or Neron or whatever. Felix Faust here is basically a pretty generic evil wizard, with Constantine consistently pointing out what a big loser Felix Faust is if not for the Rising Darkness. He's casting this spell that steals the souls of random people in Brooklyn -- Chas's daughter included -- to power him up for, uh, generic evil villain purposes, I guess.

I honestly didn't expect Felix Faust to appear in the show, so I was, well, pretty surprised that the big scary Fennel-possessing evil demonic voice was good ol' Felix Faust. He's dressed more like Emperor Palpatine than his normal quasi-Egyptian (well, Atlantean) garb from the comics, and looks far less menacing, though it fits for this particular incarnation on the character.

(Poor Fennel! Apparently he's an actual character from Hellblazer. In any case that was a gruesome death for someone who clearly wants no part in this)

Felix Faust's power boost does complicate things because he can threaten to kill Chas's daughter, and he sends Constantine to do his dirty work in hunting down the demon Karabasan (who looks like a lightning wolf). Random little fun fact here -- in real life, Karabasan is the Turkish version of the Germanic evil spirit Mare, who, like Karabasan in this show, attacks the sleeping. The spirit Mare is the origin for the english word 'nightmare', because unlike lightning wolf here all the Mares did was give you nightmares. The bit with Karabasan is honestly a bit unnecessary and merely a bit of padding for Constantine and Zed to have a couple of action scenes here before Chas steals the show again.

Anyway, Felix Faust just keeps altering deals and Chas makes the good point of why not just assault and beat Felix Faust right then and there, while Constantine doesn't want to take the risk of Felix Faust just snuffing out Geraldine's soul. Chas's lack of self-control is more than understandable considering all the warnings his wife has told him about staying away from Constantine, and, well, the fact that his daughter's soul lies in balance here.

Of course, Chas ends up knocking Constantine up in the head and making his own yolo gambit of trying to offer thirty-one (well, thirty after his demonstration) souls to Faust in exchange for his daughter's... and then altering the deal with a well-placed grenade. I thought having Renee come in just to see Chas blow up and then coming over to their way of thinking was a bit too overdramatic and didn't play off as well as it could've, but it's a fine little climax where Chas manages to remain the star of his own episode. Granted it's foreshadowed with Chas telling Constantine how if a mage dies all his spells go null and void, but with all the precautions Constantine seems to be taking over the whole situation you'd expect something more.

Felix Faust explodes, of course, but hey, this is DC comics. Faust can come back. If Constantine didn't get cancelled or somehow gets a season two, I would bet good money on Felix Faust returning. Sadly, though, poor Faust probably will only ever show up if they ever decide to do another crossover on Arrow.

We get a wee bit more on the Zed situation in the beginning and the end, with a nice little warm scene between her and Constantine to cap off the episode, with her telling Constantine how his mother didn't consider her death his fault, and a rare moment of vulnerability from the master of the dark arts. Zed also gives his daddy's organization its name, the Resurrection Crusade... though I knew this since two episodes ago when they debuted thanks to some people in the internet telling me. It's not much, but at least she's not keeping it a secret from Constantine and Chas and sparing us potential needless drama in the future.

Overall, though, as someone who amounts as a tagalong dead weight with a peculiar ability, Chas finally gets a chance to shine after ten freaking episodes of staying in the background and serving as black comedy whenever he dies. We get both an awesome flashback and a decent showing in the present day with him taking down a pretty big villain all on his lonesome. It's honestly a pretty basic episode without anything really refreshing or game-changing here, but the sheer novelty of a live-action Felix Faust and the awesomeness of giving Chas actual backstory and characterization elevate this a bit more than just being throwaway filler.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Constantine Ep. 9: Ancient Covens and Demon Possessions

Constantine, Episode 9: The Saint of Last Resorts, Part 2


In part two of this two-parter… we don’t really get much connection between the two beyond sharing Anne-Marie and Pazuzu as guest stars. None of the themes brought up in the first part of this two-parter is relevant here – not the Rising Darkness, not Zed’s Papa’s organization, not Lamasthu or the babynapping rituals, and the Invunche only features for like three minutes… the plot this time around revolves around Constantine slowly being possessed and taken over by a demon, and his desperate attempts to exorcise it while (a) another supernatural member of La Brujeria is lawyering it up, (b) he’s trapped in a Mexican prison and (c) Sister Anne-Marie is struggling with her own problems. Yet the character arcs that Constantine and Anne-Marie went through this episode really makes the two episodes feel like a mini-arc of itself, so kudos for that.

The Invunche cliffhanger from the previous episode was downright disappointing as all Constantine did was pull out the Pazuzu amulet, disable all protective enchantments and shit and allow Pazuzu to possess him and scare the Invunche off. This apparently causes Pazuzu to infect Constantine ‘like a cold’, as Constantine puts it, where there’s an incubation period before full possession happens. Apparently.

We see Constantine go from a range of emotions which mostly is just acceptance – he accepts that if he fails at self-exorcism he’s going to hell and he’d rather have Chaz stab him with the pretty golden knife instead of unleashing Pazuzu on the world. He’s angry at Manny for what he views as not giving a shit – when Manny himself notes that Constantine didn’t even bother to ask. He’s apologetic to Anne-Marie, yet has enough faith in his old friend in the end. He’s horrified when he found out he mutilated those Santa Muerte gangsters, yet isn’t afraid of throwing his weight around in the Mexican prison to get what he wants. And, um, he frothes and drools like a total madman when he gets possessed. Kudos for the actor for nailing that possessed version of Constantine.

Also, Pazuzu!Constantine just saying all the dark shit and trash-talking Zed, Chaz and Anne-Marie is great. Anne-Marie undoubtedly worked through her self-esteem issues by the successful exorcism, but bringing out Zed’s father (which is totally a raw wound) and talking shit about Chaz being left by everyone including his mentioned-but-never-seen daughter. And, whoa, Chaz does look angry in that scene. I think that’s the most emotion we ever saw out of Chaz.

Anne-Marie seals her character arc as well, firstly by running away from Constantine like Gary and she did after Newcastle, and eventually embracing that she needs to be at least try to help out when Zed and Chaz confront her, and outright active when she helps to sneak into the Mexican prison and even help smuggle Constantine out by astral-projecting… a naked image of herself. Which is totally a huge distraction, I can tell you that. And her scene in the end, where she fails to exorcise Pazuzu and he apparently takes control… before Zed gets Anne-Marie to accept and forgive herself… it’s cliché, for sure, the whole ‘the problem is within you’ zen thing, but hey, it works for the context of the story.

Pazuzu himself is pretty bland. He’s better than Lamasthu last episode for being scarier both literally and figuratively – a frothing, angry, screaming and cursing possessed Constantine is a lot scarier than a generic hag, and the threat of possessing Constantine and overwriting his entire personality while damning Constantine to hell is considerably higher stakes for our heroes. And what’s to say there isn’t a bit of Pazuzu left in Constantine?

We get a bit more of Manny, too, and he was totally disappointed and pissed off at Constantine in the beginning, but his short appearance in the end hinted that he might’ve helped out unseen. Manny’s weird. But he’s cool. We get a bit more on the Constantine-soul-damned-forever plot thread, but nothing much came out of it because the Pazuzu thing is more prominent.

The Pazuzu plotline really took over the entire storyline, though, and any other side plots really felt like distraction. And honestly I’m not convinced we needed to spend so much time with the Mexican gangster stereotypes in the prison. Why couldn’t we have built up the agent sent by the Rising Darkness more? We get a potentially interesting dude in Vicente, otherwise known as Nahash, who apparently is the original tempter. He… doesn’t get to do much. He gets this creepy scene where his jaws extended like a snake and ate a lawyer, and he shows up and is all Medusa-esque and snakes and “I AM NAHASH” and shit, but really we could’ve had more built-up because after the long speech about who he is, he ends up being taken in less than a minute. There’s a nice little moment where this villain-of-the-week might actually do something as Anne-Marie seemed to be tempted like Nahash’s epithet suggests, but nope, instant knife to the back and he explodes into snakes.

These La Brujeria demon operatives end up really underwhelming, aren’t they? Other than the Invunche, who’s presumably still hanging around writhing all painful-like in the sewers. Why not bring it back as the big threat in the middle of the episode and cut out all the superfluous Mexican prison bits? Julio’s cool, though, as stereotypical and meaningless to the plot as he is.


It’s definitely a great episode for both Constantine and Anne-Marie’s characters, a nice little tense plot with the Pazuzu possession and in those regards it’s definitely a really solid episode. As far as an episode building up to a bigger plot and a climax – for both La Brujeria and the Resurrection Crusade, it doesn’t really do much. But still, I'd still take a solid episode any day. Makes you really wish they cut out all the filler from the earlier parts of the season, don't you?

Monday, 4 January 2016

Constantine Ep. 8 Review: Bloody Chickens

Constantine, Episode 8: The Saint of Last Resorts, Part 1


This is the point in the middle of the season where the show drops the filler arcs and starts delving into something more epic and addressing the plot points built up throughout the season. And, well, with a two-parter smack dab in this short season, it certainly does so. Among the things we get covered in this episode are: more of Constantine's mysterious Newcastle incident, more on the Rising Darkness including a name of the organization, and finally some progress on Zed's ever-mysterious past. Also, the villains here are actually bigger mythological names so they certainly feel more threatening than Child Ghost #9592.

The episode starts off pretty generic, just like any of the last three or four filler Constantine episodes. We get a couple of horror movie cliches that we haven't already covered before, even -- a nunnery and baby abductions. We even get a possible bit of lampshade hanging as Constantine decides to take Chaz on this particular journey and leave Zed behind -- a subtle jab at how the previous episodes had Constantine take one or the other but rarely both?

It ends up with both groups fighting against the two big bad organizations of this season (well, show) though. Constantine finds out that what seems to be a simple 'figure out what demonic creature is babynapping' case ends up against a far more ancient evil than he thinks, real-life Mesopotamian childbirth demon Lamasthu (romanticized as a Sister of Eve on the same level of Lilith in this show, though Constantine's first guess was Lilith), and finally put a name to the cult of witches causing the Rising Darkness -- La Brujeria. La Brujeria is one of the villains in Hellblazer, or so I'm told, so yay for that.

Meanwhile, Constantine's stupid decision to lock Zed in the magic house ends up causing her to explore and escape... and bump into naked model man Eddie. Or whoever he's called. Zed seems to do the monumentally idiotic thing of bringing Eddie into Constantine's magic sanctuary to have some bang bang... but she's better than that and beats Eddie into submission. Though she ends up being followed by people working for her father, and it's implied her father abused her to utilize her powers. Also her real name's Mary. A bit convenient as the very same random magical things like the bottomless foggy Willy Wonka pit that Zed finds earlier ends up getting rid of one of her pursuers, but she gets away from all of them. It's honestly not much, but it gives a fair amount of depth to Zed while still not revealing a whole lot, other than her father wants her back, and he's the leader of a cult or some shit. I would've thought her father is a member of La Brujeria, but apparently it's a different villainous organization called the Resurrection Crusade or something?

This episode also introduces Sister Anne-Marie, Constantine's old love interest and a participant of the Newcastle disaster... and she's turned into a nun after the whole incident. Constantine actually knew her before Newcastle, though, and the two of them are apparently old friends and Anne-Marie is actually the one who introduced Constantine to mysticism. She also has the ability to create astral projections to contact Constantine, which we don't exactly learn how she gets it -- but will no doubt prove useful in the second part.

Constantine and Anne-Marie, actually, are the ones that really work the best here. The chemistry between the two work really well, and their history, which we get hints and bits of but never the full picture, is really effective in telling a story without devoting a crapton of screentime to flashbacks or whatever. And Anne-Marie calling Constantine out in the present day for being, well, a douchebag and for seemingly not repenting for the whole Newcastle thing really works well and hits home more than usual.

Anne-Marie is rightfully disturbed at Constantine's rather unorthodox methods at dealing with mystic stuff, and quickly guesses the guilt-trip plot that Constantine used on Gary a while back. But she goes along with it willingly, and the clincher for her had to be when Constantine threatens to snap a baby's neck, or drown a baby, to extort a confession out of Lamasthu. This ends up leading to Anne-Marie shooting Constantine and leaving him as bait for the Invunche -- quoting Constantine's own line about sacrificing everything to save the innocent. Now with five more episodes to go no one really buys that Constantine isn't going to worm his way out of this one, but it's still a pretty interesting plot twist.

The demon-hunting baby-rescue bit is general stuff. Lamasthu honestly looks a lot more like a live action version of the evil witch crone from Snow White, but hey, I'd prefer this over jumpscares. As much as Lamasthu is built up, Lamasthu's got a pretty generic backstory, about how La Brujeria and the Rising Darkness is allowing her to expand her domain on Earth. The way Team Constantine handles her also ends up being kinda mundane, with Constantine rather hilariously dipping a chicken in blood and using a spell to fool Lamasthu into thinking it's a third baby... before using an amulet belonging to a demon of famine, Pazuzu, who also apparently hates Lamasthu. Convenient, that. (Pazuzu's another real Mesopotamian god and starred in The Exorcist, a horror film you might have heard of).

I'm honestly not sure where the Invunche came from. I mean, yeah, it's cool that the Invunche's appearance was foreshadowed by Zed's creepy drawings, but when it showed up in the end all twisty and twitchy and crawly and shit, its appearance... well, let me put it this way. Before Constantine identifies it by name, I thought Lamasthu transformed the blood-chicken they used to trick her into a demon. Because it does look pretty much like raw plucked chicken. It does end up being creepy, but again, good creepy in a way that does not involve screaming into the audience's face. How Constantine is utterly batshit scared by the Invunche in a way that he isn't for any of the horrors he's met before except maybe the Khapra Beetle demon... yeah.

Overall, though, it's all pretty decent stuff. This episode really makes liberal use of Chekov's Gun, and the sheer amount of how something gets mentioned early on only to appear later on is insane and at times rather too predictable. We get some payoff on the Zed end, though regrettably not quite enough to satiate curiousity -- it's nice to see the girl holding her own in multiple situations and getting out of her predicaments, though. We get some great moments between Constantine and Anne-Marie, who is a surprisingly engaging character despite being a presumably one-off character. The Invunche is suitably creepy. And both Lamasthu and the Resurrection Cult or whatever are pretty decent mooks that build up their respective organizations.

Supergirl Season 1: Episode 6-10

Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 6: Red Faced


Well, this episode is going to certainly be polarizing. On one hand, it easily has the best scenes and most well-written character development for Supergirl's character. There are also several great sub-plots, exploring Cat's mother (which has been foreshadowed over several episodes), the introduction of the military, more exploration into the Hank Henshaw mystery and a great anger management theme tying them all together. On the other hand, the plot-of-the-week and all the problems that I've been talking about for the past few episodes rear their ugly head with a huge vengeance.

First up, before we get to me lambasting this unbelievably ugly Red Tornado, let's talk about, again, the whole feminism topic. I actually don't mind the speech that Cat Grant gave to Supergirl about how women are judged differently if they throw a tantrum. It was absolutely preachy, but it kinda makes sense in context and works for the whole anger management theme of this episode. But there's a fair amount of other unnecessary lines like "because he's a MAN!" or "only MEN will drive recklessly"... from Supergirl herself, to boot. Also, Cat Grant's mother's point has been her disapproving of her daughter's life choices and career and generally makes her feel shit despite Cat's attempts to reach out to her. You'd think that would be good enough to make her a shitty parent in anyone's eyes -- all you have to do is add some more hurtful lines. Having her spout "I prefer MALE doctors" out of nowhere just seemed tacky and juvenile. Does the show really think a villain is only hateable when they are sexist?

Not to mention, for all the potential that General Sam Lane brings to the table as this hardass xenophobic general (played by Glenn Morshower to boot!) that is absolutely true to his comic book origins... he ends up feeling like a villain straight out of a Sunday morning cartoon. "Fight this robot! You don't have a choice! Government orders!" "It went wild, it's your fault! It's ALL your fault! Even though I said you didn't have a choice!" The big twist that, oh, surprise, surprise, he hates Kryptonians and the Red Tornado is meant to be a weapon to take down Kryptonians isn't even a twist so much as it's just confirmation of what we thought when he acts like a gigantic ass.

Red Tornado... as much as I appreciate them bringing in Professor T.O. Morrow (though they only ever called him Morrow in the show, sadly) they might as well as have cast any of the twenty gajillion evil killer robots in DC lore. Red Tornado might not be the most complex of characters, but he's a C-lister hero that I like. His backstory is simple -- android weapon with tornado powers gains sentience and doesn't want to work under his evil scientist 'father'. Here? Red Tornado is just this random killer robot that runs amok. The tornadoes look impressive, that's for sure, especially the big one that menaces National City streets, but Red Tornado himself? Hah. I generally don't like talking shit about visuals, but holy shit, Red Tornado looked like he walked off from the cast of that old Wizard of Oz movie. Yes, most of the details are pretty okay, right down to the yellow T on his chest, but he just looks so stupid. I don't expect movie-quality level of CGI making him look like Vision or Ultron, but come on. He doesn't even look like a robot -- everything below his neck looks like it's made up of felt. It's hard to imagine him being threatening even when he's summoning giant tornadoes when he looks like he flopped out of a Halloween costume.
It's just as well that Supergirl blows him up with a super heat vision. Which is still blue, despite the cracks around Supergirl's eyes being red. And it's still annoying. 

Also, yes, I realize that the love triangle-square thing needs to be in this show, but holy shit, couldn't they have been more subtle about it? The game night scene really felt out of place, and the overly long Lucy and James being in sync while Kara and Winslow stumbles is just bland and uninteresting. And of course Lucy has to throw in a little barb against Supergirl and how she's not James's type because subtlety ain't this show's strong suit.

Which is a pity, because the scenes with James, Lucy and General Sam are pretty decent. Sam hates James for being a glorified paparazzi and doesn't want him anywhere near his daughter, and while Lucy abandoning her high military rank to stay with her man seems kinda contradictory to the whole female empowerment theme, it's a nice, decent little mini-arc for James as he dealt with his own frustrations against Sam. He doesn't get much screen time other than that and the cringe-inducing game night scene, but hey.

Winslow is still so deep in the friendzone and still utterly uninteresting.

Cat gets some great scenes too, especially with her cartoonishly evil mother. The scenes are overtly exaggerated, with Cat's mother basically having all of the 'bitchmom' tropes you can think of thrown in. Sexist. Disapproving of her daughter's career. Arrogant. Prioritizes career over daughter. Hypocritical. Talks shit about a career path that doesn't align with hers. Doesn't care about her grandson. Generally a horrible person. No real motivation beyond being arrogantly punchable. Wow, I wouldn't have imagined she is hateable! Even cartoons aimed at ten year olds have more subtlety than this. A lesson to all writers -- use too many of these tropes and your villainous character just ends up being little more than a joke. Use some and subvert others, and you can get excellent evil parents -- Trish Walker's mother from Jessica Jones comes to mind.

But where her mother was written without any effort thrown in, Cat Grant's crushed expression when she kept her entire evening free -- not an easy task because she's Cat Grant -- and her mother just cancels dinner out of a whim to go with her friends. Cat even offers to join their dinner, but her mother's cartoonish dismissal about how she can't have any topics to talk about just absolutely crushes Cat and her dejected expression afterwards really sells the scene.

Both Kara and Cat kinda explode a bit at each other, then they drink to talk about anger management. It's... not done as well as it could have been, but compared to everything else that was shit in this episode it's definitely decent in comparison. It also brings to head all the anger that Kara has been suppressing throughout the episode (even if we do get the rather blah "women need to be more delicate than men because of society" line) and she ends up admitting to herself the source of her anger and whatnot.

Alex doesn't get to do much this episode other than having a tsun-tsun act with Maxwell Lord that is still as dry as their original interaction. I think the show is trying to ship them together, but wow, a show's that's obvious about romantic interests, the two of them really don't have any good chemistry between them and their scenes are wooden.

Lucy Lane is apparently a major in the military. Who knew? Sadly she serves under the equally-bland daddy-General Sam Lane. And while Sam Lane is written a lot better than Cat's mother it's still not really well done. Lucy herself ends up pretty generic too this episode, just being a generic supportive girlfriend to James and being obliviously jerk-y towards Supergirl.

While offscreen, Winslow apparently hacked into the DEO database and found out that Jeremiah Danvers went missing with his partner while hunting an alien... and said partner is Hank Henshaw. Who showed up alive later on, and redacted that document. It's rather odd for Alex to be jumping to conclusions that Henshaw killed Jeremiah and they could've gone through some logical loops before reaching that conclusion, but hey. At least we get progression.

We also get a cliffhanger, because apparently Kara lost her powers and is now bleeding. Do the plot twist dance!

Overall, though, the messiest and my second-least favourite episode of Supergirl so far (the fourth is still the worst by far), which is surprising considering how many of the themes and scenes in this episode are actually pretty damn interesting and would've been great on paper, but generally shoddy writing got in the way and a lot of those scenes fell flat, dragging the better scenes down with them. Also, this version of Red Tornado is poop.
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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 7: Human For A Day


(I know, I know, I missed out several of the weekly manga. Real life got in the way. They'll show up tomorrow or the day after. It's just that the longer manga reviews like Tokyo Ghoul and Akame Ga Kill, well, take longer to write.)

Well, I think this is the first Supergirl episode I can call solid. Mind you, it’s still got a fair bit to go before it is good, but the only really bad thing that irked me in this episode was the crappy love triangle, but this time it’s at least executed somewhat well with misunderstandings and whatnot. And knowing that Winslow Schott’s asshole lines at Kara is definitely working him to be a version of Toyman certainly makes his character and his asshole “if I can’t have you no one can” lines.

But other than that? It’s a solid episode. Yes, it’s still pretty on-the-nose and it is borderline moronic for Maxwell Lord and Cat Grant to take potshots at each other just because one wants to bring down Supergirl and the other wants to paint her as a symbol of truth, but it could be a lot cheesier. And I watched Supergirl episodes one through six, I know this.

We’ve got two big plots running throughout the episode, and I do like how the DEO plot can’t possibly have gone along if Supergirl hadn’t lost her powers. The Supergirl side of things, well, as the title implies, has her lose her powers after using the Solar Flare attack last episode (which is a thing New 52 Superman does) and is left powerless right at the same time when a mysterious earthquake causes a gigantic disaster in National City. In the DEO side of things, tensions come to a head when Alex and Henshaw has to deal with the breakout of a telepathic alien, Jemm, and it leads to revelation that Hank Henshaw is, in fact, J’onn J’onzz, the Martian Manhunter.

I have been spoiled about Henshaw’s true identity before watching the show, and it is honestly one of the things that actually motivated me to start watching this trainwreck. So it’s rather appropriate that the first episode that features J’onn is the first episode that was actually good – and it’s not just J’onn appearing in the end in a costume that almost makes me forgive bad-cosplay Tornado last episode. Almost. The episode was, again, pretty decent.

Yes, some of the lines and acting are overblown and don’t really make sense given the situation – Maxwell Lord and Cat Grant’s speeches definitely take the cake on this, and Alex has some points where I really want to whack her in the head and tell her to do all this daddy drama after they catch the evil telepathic alien monster. But hey.

Let’s talk about the Supergirl side of things. There is always a time in nearly every single show about people with superpowers or whatever when the hero loses their powers – or, if not applicable, when they are thrust into a situation where they are rendered powerless either by situation or simply being fired from whatever organization that’s hiring them. It’s pretty great, and Kara gets some character development that actually makes sense instead of being the product of some convoluted speech that Cat gives to Kara that somehow applies to Supergirl’s big problem. Having her run around, mortal for a day, really brings her down to human level in how helpless she is, how vulnerable she is… and how her status as National City’s symbol of hope ends up getting destroyed when a big earthquake happens and she’s nowhere to be found.

Except the focus of the plot isn’t on Supergirl’s public image like fucking High School Musical or something – Cat and Maxwell Lord have a bit of a spat on that, and Kara and James confront Maxwell Lord on that, sure, but the focus of Kara’s development isn’t on her public image and I can definitely appreciate that. Kara’s big character moment in this story is how they find a dude tying of tension pneumothorax and there’s absolutely nothing she can do about it – not fly her to safety, not even use her X-Ray vision to find the bleeding vein. And she can’t save him! That’s the real kicker, and it’s a wonderful scene. She just feels so helpless and raw and it visibly hurt her so much, and I do like the development there.

And the little gambit where she, sans powers, walks into that armed robbery in costume and just poker-faces her way through it, earning James a photograph of a robber surrendering the gun to Supergirl? That was an actually pretty great scene. Yes, juxtaposing it against Cat Grant’s inspirational speech was, again, too on-the-nose, but I don’t mind this particular instance.

There's also the nice, short scene where Kara tries to seek help from the A.I. hologram Space Mom, who gives some inspirational speeches but is ultimately useless. But no doubt seeing her mother speak to her does wonders for Kara's mental state. I do like how Alex and Henshaw actually consulted with A.I. Alura as well, only finding her answers useless and boiling down to 'get my daughter to handle this'.

James is okay in this episode. He’s mostly consistent in just being a good friend, and his little backstory about why he became a photographer – and ending up capturing That One Picture™ is decent. The lift action scene is a nice little bonus for him, and he’s consistently good in this episode. since the other second-stringers end up a mixed bag of good and bad.

Maxwell Lord gets a nice speech about how people need to believe in themselves and not rely wholly on a superhero, which is an actually pretty valid point to make, but his cartoonish and petty jabs at Supergirl just makes it hard to take his valid points seriously. Cat’s basically devolved down to this super-nice authority figure (“if you need to go home to be with your families, go”) that says the odd bitch thing every now and then (“you have a cold GTFO my building”), and that seems to be the mould the show is settling her in. okay then. It just feels oxymoronic is all. Winn gets his time to shine creating a life feed for Cat Grant’s little sub-plot of media war against Maxwell Lord, but are bogged down by the nonsensical ‘you are not allowed happiness’ bullshit speech. I don’t care enough of their stupid love triangle to write a paragraph on it – and besides, it’s Supergirl’s first real decent episode! Let’s not have entire sections ranting about its shoddy writing.

The DEO scene is a more conventional action sequence against Jemm, Son of Saturn, who, appropriately enough is an occasional J’onn J’onzz antagonist... except, well, Jemm is nominally a hero and only used as a villain when mind-controlled. The character was originally designed as a blatant Expy of J'onn J'onzz himself (and ended up being an actual plot point later on) way back during the Silver Age when J'onn hasn't appeared in comics for a couple of years. Another strike, though not quite as bad as Red Dead Tornado (I hate this incarnation of Red Tornado so much that I refuse to call him that) last episode. The treatment of Jemm here actually resembles that of DC villain Despero, actually, with the pink skin and mental powers and third eye on the forehead and his big hammy conqueror of worlds line... though I guess Despero is big enough of a name (y'know, relatively) for them not to waste on a shitty one-shot villain. This version of Jemm is a generic telepathic monster here who controls mind and is an extremely generic and forgettable monster of the week.

While Alex’s decisions here is a bit questionable it’s still decent character work as her suspicions in J’onn get the better of her and the two end up confronting each other. Of course, the distrust in J’onn is unfounded as she reveals his true identity. It’s a great scene, and a nice little backstory for J’onn where Jeremiah Danvers sacrificed himself to stop the xenophobic REAL Hank Henshaw from killing J’onn. A reverse of CW Reverse-Flash’s backstory? Probably. Less epic? Definitely. But fuck you, we’ve got a J’onn J’onzz!

The DEO scenes are pretty decent enough if you assume J’onn/Henshaw is an alien monster himself, and honestly who saw that J’onn J’onzz twist coming without being spoiled about it? Even with awkwardly-written teases like "I WILL EXPOSE YOU TRUE IDENTITY as a coward" it's still a pretty decent episode that seemed set to showcase Hank Henshaw as Cyborg Superman. Granted it makes J'onn look a bit like a dick in hindsight that he disappeared (presumably phased through the walls) when DEO Mook #1 and DEO Mook #2 were killed, and why didn't he just barge in in full Martian Manhunter getup and bring Jemm down in one go? Or stuff like lying about the neural thingies. It's questionable, certainly, and no wonder Alex distrusts him. A bit harsh in hindsight, perhaps, but I dunno. Maybe it'll play into J'onn's character somehow?

Oh, and boring auntie Astra returns to do a mid-season finale plot or whatever. Maybe she's the one that caused the oh-so-conveniently-timed earthquake? Bah.

Overall, though, it’s the first episode of Supergirl that I can say is actually decent and well-written. And it only took seven episodes!
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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 8: Hostile Takeover


So finally we reach the mid-season finale. We have Supergirl facing off against both her past and nominal Big Bad of the season, Astra, while Kara has to deal with someone hacking Cat Grant's emails. Which... compared to all the bullshit slice-of-life tropey girl-show plot is actually not a disagreeable choice. We even get some espionage moments from the Kara/James/Winnslow trio and a bit of a resolution to the friendzone love triangle dilemma that doesn't involve unnecessary drama.

The Cat Grant email bit is a fair bit more appealing than most, if not all, of the CatCo scenes that they did this season. Which is a shame because, well, the villain turned out to be a gigantic douchebag called "walking personification of white male privilege". Holy fuck, show. Just what.

We get a couple of decent, if uninteresting, series of fun-ish scenes with the CatCo trio, and by the end of this Cat Grant deduces that Kara is Supergirl. Because anyone in Cat Grant's position with half a brain would've figured it out, especially after her truly obvious slip near the end of this episode. Cat's pretty cool in this episode, with some pretty awesome lines that make the groan-worthy extended screentime in CatCo almost worth it.

We also discover that among Cat's many mysterious emails is sending funds to a certain Adam Foster... who, it appears, is adapted from Cat's comic-canon son, Adam Morgan/Grant. I thought it was weird that they changed the name when Cat's kid showed up in episode 4, but hey. Adam Grant is well known for... being a rich bratty twat. That's the extent of his characterization before the original Toyman (Winslow Schott Sr.) kidnaps and ends up killing him, a story during that period when DC Comics is trying to be edgy and shit and Toyman goes from a toy-gimmick villain who doesn't hurt children to... a creepy child-serial-killer using toys. Yeah. Not the best move there. And hopefully this show's Winslow can avoid that.

Winslow is still boring, by the way, being passive-aggressive at James, who is also boring. The two make up at the end and James tells Winslow to grow some balls and ask Supergirl out. Lucy does... stuff.

Astra is honestly still a boring villain, though we peel back a bit more of her backstory with flashbacks. Apparently Astra found out that Krypton was dying and tried to warn everyone with, well, eco-terrorism or something. Alura uses innocent little Kara to lure her sister and arrest her. It does paint Astra in a bit of a nicer light, making her honestly not quite as flat, but the sheer lack of subtlety in both the acting and scripting really makes it more surprising if Astra actually didn't have ulterior motives. And there really doesn't seem to be any love left between Astra and present-day Kara, which doesn't really jive with how the two are all like "I love you" in Krypton. Supergirl spends more time going all "I won't talk to you" and getting angry at her mother for apparently using Kara to arrest Astra more than, well, anything involving Astra herself. It's something, though, and compared to the boring DESTROY KILL MAIM villains like Jemm and Dead Tornado we had before, it's definitely a bit of an improvement.

We get another cliched "oh no, main villain wanted to be caught" plot, though it's honestly not the worst thing about Astra. Also apparently Astra has developed technology to shield herself from Kryptonite, rendering the whole weakness thing moot. I am honestly confused why J'onn was so flustered over Astra having a Kryptonite dagger when they clearly have enough Kryptonite to power up Kara's training room.

Speaking of training room, let's talk about the action scenes in this episode, because they alternate very quickly between being impressive and horrible. Some scenes are really obviously just the actresses for Supergirl and Astra being hung with wires photoshopped out while a fan blows their hair around. Some scenes look like they belong in a high-budget movie. And it's just jarring how the effects are just really good in one scene and horrible in the next. The battle does get a couple of nice shot-for-shot homages to Man of Steel, with explody buildings (why didn't we get the media-hate-Supergirl plot here?) right up to the end... though Supergirl doesn't go for the same neck-snap that MoS!Superman did.

The whole Astra thing, of course, is a distraction for the more militant Non (who is a prominent Phantom Zone villain you might recognize from one of the earlier Superman movies... whose role is basically similar to what Astra's is in the flashbacks), who also happens to be Astra's husband and second-in-command, to charge into Lord Industries and do some shifty villain stuff. Maxwell Lord gets to be a dick and melt some poor dude's face with a plastic grenade blob launcher, but Non zips in, threatens to snap Lord's neck.. and proceeds to throw the dude non-fatally when DEO troopers come in. Yeah. Non, you dumb.

We get a couple of cool-looking non-Kryptonian aliens while the Kryptonians zip around like annoying little mosquitoes. We've got this girl that can breathe out acidic gas, and this dude that has this cool 'rip apart and create a clone of myself' power. J'onn battles against a Kryptonian while displaying his Martian strength. Non faces off against Supergirl before the end. Hopefully Non makes good on his promise to actually deliver a fight, maybe forcing Supergirl to get help from J'onn? Also, J'onn in this universe can't mind-read Kryptonians, a problem he doesn't really have in the comics.

Maxwell Lord is still a tool. I honestly hoped Non kills him. He's got nothing on Luthor.

We get a couple of other nice shout-outs to Opal City, Rao, as well as characters like Non, Dirk Armstrong and Adam Morgan.

This episode and the previous one really shows that Supergirl can actually try to be a decent superhero show starring a woman instead of this uncomfortable niche where it tries to be ultra-super-duper-girl-power-feminist but really isn't. Supergirl otherwise really is a sub-par show, and I stand by that decision. It's not even so hilariously bad that it's fun to plop in and watch like Gotham is, and it certainly has what is easily the worst set of starting episodes among the modern superhero shows. But it's definitely improving. We get some pretty decent backstory, a confrontation, some plot development on the alien front, Cat's character development and... well, we needed something to fill a crapton of airtime, so you have the hacking nonsense. Well. I did say 'try to be a decent show'...
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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 9: Blood Bonds


Wow, this feels like a badly-written episode of an anime. I mean, yes, I get that Superman is on the idealist side of the spectrum, but honestly there has been ways to make idealism not look like utter stupidity. I mean, yes, General Sam Lane attempts to get his information through torturing Astra and is clearly somewhat xenophobic, but it's not like Kara was any better, throwing a tantrum the first time she went to talk to Astra and generally just being unhelpful until she saw there's really no other way. Add that to the utterly stupid notion of counting merely upon Astra's honour for her to call off the Kryptonian army, something that would obviously come to that prisoner exchange... even if Astra is honourable enough to keep her word and is touched enough by Kara's story, there's really nothing in-universe to prove that -- for all Kara knows, Astra's sympathetic story are just lies, something she points out earlier on... and honestly there's nothing in-universe that Astra does that really makes her more believable to Kara. And even if Astra is honourable enough, Non clearly wants to murder Kara as he shows last episode. 

Except Non doesn't. He just picks Hank Henshaw up and leaves. Not get one of his other Kryptonian goons to do it while he finishes off Kara (though that can be chalked up to not wanting to hurt Astra, at least). But Hank/J'onn doesn't fight back, or try to escape, which is just dumb. Non kills off that random multi-eyed telepathic alien, while sparing every single person of the enemy forces he meets, which is also equally dumb. Sam Lane uses comparisons to 'the Day the Earth Stood Still' to gain Astra's respect, which actually works, making both of them dumb. That soldier who let Kara past who we're supposed to think 'oh that's nice he's grateful' has probably signed a death warrant on his career, so he's dumb as well. Those other soldiers who blindly follow into a crate with a bomb even though Supergirl is bulletproof are dumb and it's no surprise they die in the most moronic way a redshirt can die. Kara, while dealing with J'onn captured by a bunch of psychotic aliens and the DEO and military basically waging a wartime operation against Non, elicits to go back and forth from CatCo and the DEO just to talk about Cat's suspicions and James Olsen being suspicious about Maxwell Lord. Maxwell Lord can apparently just shoo the DEO from securing the facility just because it belongs to him, making the DEO the most pathetic secret organization ever in fiction. Alex apparently complies, making her equally insipid. And Maxwell Lord joins the idiot squad by catching James Olsen able to sneak into the DEO facility -- he knows James has a friend... and lets James off after slapping him a few times. Not even a busted kneecap for all his troubles? Not even a 'big brother is watching' demonstration? Yeah, Maxwell Lord, I think a third-grade bully is more menacing than you. Granted, it also is utterly idiotic for James and Winn to go with 'let's make James Olsen into a super spy' when they have a friend who can see through walls and has super-hearing. 

Also, to add to utterly stupid things that people do, Kara heats up Cat's latte with her (ugly blue) heat vision in what appears to be an office where anyone looking their way could see what is happening. And it's utter stupidity on both Kara, everyone present, and the person who wrote the scene. 

Honestly coming back from that slight surge of quality that was episode 8, this one just comes crashing down because of bad writing... and for once the dialogue isn't quite as atrocious (still bland, but not outright bad), but the storytelling is just nonsensical. Everyone does utterly stupid things and the logic leaps that Kara takes throughout the episode honestly just don't make sense, and you really can't fault General Sam Lane for being suspicious about Kara because she just does her own things, basically intimidates Sam Lane to letting her undergo the prisoner transaction -- General Lane had every right to be suspicious and wary about Kara making the decision on her own without even the courtesy to inform the good General just why she is doing it. 

Of course, the show itself doesn't really do much to convince us that Astra is an anti-villain or anything of the sort other than her letting herself be captured and Sam Lane being tortured, which totally makes her less evil... no, wait, I don't think it works that way. What the fuck was the point of Astra getting captured, actually? That ends up achieving nothing at all. 

The big point of the episode, the whole talk about blood and whatnot, ends up being muddled, confusing and ends up with something that really should've been revised multiple times on the scripting process. The concept, again, is decent -- Kara struggling with whether her mother ignored Astra's warnings and condemned her aunt and uncle to lifetime imprisonment... except it's not executed well at all, is not compelling at all, the flashback is confusing as fuck because neither Astra nor Allura are easy to tell apart since they're played by the same actress and both wear similar clothes, and honestly the payoff that Allura is a mega saint ends up being utterly boring. I mean, shit, having Allura the slightest bit morally ambiguous would be interesting to explore, but nooooo Kara's mother has to be this super-awesome saint who can do no wrong.

Add that to the fact that this episode undermined one of the stronger moments for Cat Grant from last episode -- that she figured out that Kara = Supergirl all on her own, ends up being reduced to a laughingstock of a B-plot that's only saved because the two actresses in the scene are at least half-decent enough to drag the dying corpse of a subplot... which isn't even entertaining at all. Oh, yes, office hijinks intercut in-between a prisoner exchange and Kara's soul-searching is totally necessary. No, what is apparently interesting to the makers of this show is the utterly banal interchange of Cat going "you're totally Supergirl" and Kara going "nope you must be joking hahaumhaha"which the audience is probably supposed to find hilarious.

The show also never really makes it clear just why Kara needs to hang on that CatCo job so much. If it's literally just for Cat Grant's sarcastic-but-coincidentally-appropriate retorts, then, um, wow, add yet another to the 'this is dumb' clutter. 

Also, Maxwell Lord is evil and up to no-good stuff involving corpses and Dead Tornado and shit, but he has so little class to him and has so little menace that I'm flabbergasted that big scary secret agent Alex just kowtows to him throwing a short tantrum and going all "this is my property take your pet alien and go!" Being a big hammy manipulative villain should really be the easiest thing to do -- all you have to do is ham it up and act like an entertaining asshat, but Lord fails at even doing that, and ends up just being a douchehole. Though honestly, Astra, Non, Lord, Sam Lane... none of the antagonists really are anything beyond two-dimensional characters and I'm just waiting for any one of them to be remotely entertaining. 

Oh, and for all the interest that introducing the damned Martian Manhunter into the show, all he does in this episode is to transform into Supergirl to fool Cat Grant about secret identities and stuff. Totally inspired usage of a character. [/sarcasm] At least Kara discovers J'onn's identity, which is a needless amount of drama that's glossed over quickly. 

Other than that, though, this episode, I think, tops the 'Supergirl has to multi-task golly gee' episode as the worst Supergirl episode ever. It's just badly written on all fronts, nothing in this episode works, Non is yet another in a slew of uninspired and uninteresting villains, any attempt at clever emotional storytelling fell flat on their face and I'm just thankful we didn't get any of that stupid love triangle inanity thrown in. With bullshit like this all piled up on each other this just exemplifies all the problems that this show has, and honestly I can see why some people view this as a parody of general Superman movies or cartoons.

I honestly could rant more, or think about the whole 'blood bonds' bullshit to actually give a proper analysis on it, but this shit episode deserves so little of my (or really, any half-intelligent viewer's) respect I'm actually slightly ashamed to talk so much about it already.
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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 10: Childish Things


Full disclaimer, though, because I got an angry email because of my review of episode 9 -- I don't hate Supergirl because I judge the show more harshly than Flash or Arrow or Daredevil or whatever the fuck ever simply because it stars a woman. I don't even hate Supergirl. I think I stated in one of my earlier reviews that Supergirl was one of my favourite DC characters from the comics and cartoons (and still is), and I am just utterly upset at the lack of quality in this show. When you review something, you can't just be singing praises about everything. Things that are genuinely bad, things that could be improved... they must be pointed out. Honestly, you can't just hide every single bad quality that Supergirl did behind a wall of "well it stars a woman so it must be okay". No, simply starring a woman does not automatically make Supergirl a great show. It is still a TV show and a work of fiction that must be judged on merits of storytelling, acting and characterization and all the rest, and I would've written more of the same if it was Flash or Gotham or any other show having the same crap-ton of problems that Supergirl's ninth episode had, be it uninteresting villains, stupid decisions that aren't even justified, piss-poor attempts at characterization and generally messy storytelling. That's the point of a review, you know -- actually intelligent people can discuss and point out the things they liked and disliked about a particular work, and I would like to think that I try to do so in all my reviews. 

That said, though, this episode is better than the previous episode. Which isn't saying much, granted. I did enjoy the bit about J'onn insisting that he can't blend in well with humankind the way Supergirl can, a good part of his comic/cartoon counterpart's characterization. And honestly it's a nice enough thing to adapt to the show, considering a good chunk of Supergirl deals with Kara, well, accepting who she is -- a Kryptonian, a superhero, etc. It gets explored when Alex calls J'onn out for hiding his immense martian power when it could be channeled for good, but J'onn counters that he's tried to be the Martian Manhunter for 50 years and all it did was spread panic. J'onn's self-loathing yet his indomitable good intentions is one of my favourite things about the character, and for all the crap I throw at Supergirl I have to say that this is one part that I really think the show did well.

Also nice is seeing J'onn and Kara just fly around and shit. I guess Clark is too much of an invisible man to teach her cousin how to fly properly? Man, this show makes Clark look like an utter dick. 

Anyway, the general twin plots of the episode is decent enough, with Kara and Winslow tackling the breakout of Winslow's father, the Toyman, whereas J'onn and Alex go off to investigate Maxwell Lord. Granted, Alex and Lord still have crappy chemistry together, but seeing her and J'onn do stuff together is at least fun. The concept of both plot lines are great, and the execution is decent, even if seeing Supergirl trapped in quicksand is like the least threatening thing you could do to Supergirl yet the show still treats it seriously with Supergirl needing to struggle and everything. Also Alexander Danvers, secret agent, lets an extremely obvious-looking bug be tagged on her bag. Seriously, show-writers, treat your superhuman and secret agent protagonist with some respect!

Other than those two parts, though, both the Toyman and Maxwell Lord threads were dealt with relatively succinctly. Not particularly good, no... the Lord thread is just boring since Lord is such a dull villain, and Winslow Schott Sr. (thereafter referred to as just the Toyman) ends up just being another bland crazy villain, though the connection to Winn does make him somewhat more interesting. We get a nice little moment where Winn worries that he will end up being as crazy as his father, and Toyman basically threatening to blow up the Toy Convention if Winn doesn't kill Toyman's old boss is an overused trope, if one that worked relatively well.

My opinion of Toyman is... well, he's definitely never posed a threat to Superman or Supergirl in the comics, being, y'know, a dude that attacks with toys. Comics and cartoons generally found a workaround by having Toyman build giant toy robots (obviously not something you would do in a live-action series) or threatening civilians, which is exactly what he did here. And to that end I guess he is a pretty great adaptation of the character with the added bonus of daddy issues... far better than what poor Red Tornado got in this show, anyway. And he did get that awesome spiky yo-yo. But ultimately I don't think he impressed me enough as a villain.

The lovey-dovey bit with Winn and Kara doesn't work quite as well. It started off nice enough with Kara supporting Winn with the same amount of support Winn provided Kara, but of course the bad writing meant that Kara sounds like she's outright confessing her love to Winn, and it's not hard to blame the poor frustrated due for getting false signals. What we can blame, though, is the writers for stringing along this exhausting friendzoned pathetic nice guy thread for so long and not giving us any payoff and instead just giving us... whatever the hell this was. Blah.

What I did like, though, was the subtlety that Kara has improved with her arctic breath, freezing the quicksand (again, really?) and later the entire toy aisle at the toy convention and generally being awesome with it. See, Supergirl can too do subtlety. Shame it's wasted on something like arctic breath instead of actual themes and character growth. 

Oh, and I do like how two of Toyman's dolls referred to the various looks over the years, a nice show of respect to the comics lore that they pissed on when they did Dead Tornado a while back. Winslow Schott Sr. is based on the first and traditional Toyman as a mostly-unassuming old man with glasses. The grinning doll with a suit is how the version of Toyman looked in the Superman: The Animated Series cartoon where the Toyman dressed inside a suit shaped like a porcelain doll, whereas the yellow-and-black jester toy that Winn got is based on Jack Nimball, a.k.a. Toyman II from the comics, more well-known for being the Toyman featured in Super-Friends.  We also get a cameo from Cameron Chase as a generic FBI agent, rather ironic since Cameron Chase's role in the comics is, well, with the DEO. She doesn't do much and could've been replaced with a generic, but, eh, it's the thought that counts.

Also, it's revealed here that J'onn has his phasing powers, so while I didn't mention it on top of all the stupid things that happened last episode... why didn't he use it to break free? In all the confusion I doubt anyone would've cared if Hank Henshaw made a miraculous rescue. Also, this version of J'onn has less control over his mind reading/memory altering powers, basically wiping a good chunk of the security guard's memory when he does his mindwipe thing, and J'onn himself treats it like a last resort that he was sorry to have used. A nice wrinkle in the Martian Manhunter, showing that in some ways, he's still unpolished the way Supergirl is. 

The Lucy/James/Cat subplot was undeniably boring, though. There's absolutely no point of having that extended sequence of Lucy promoting feminism and her own choices and her working at CatCo other than to have Kara give longing, sad glances at the pair.

Oh, oh, let me rant a bit about the stupid dialogue in this episode...

"I want to work for a cool powerful kickass woman instead of a bunch of old white men" is one of the examples of the show's attempts to promote feminism, yet uses the subtlety of a wrecking ball. You don't promote gender equality by shitting on the opposite gender. Jeez. This is what makes the show lose so much respect -- by acting like the most stereotypical and the most stupid of the feminist movement. Having Lucy go to James and talk about Cat offering her a job, James being more or less happy and "it's your career, you make that decision" and having Lucy walk out and be all "I'm not asking for your permission" in the most prissy tone ever is also equally moronic.

Throwing in "are you feeling threatened because she's a woman" from Alex is also yet another idiotic line shoved in, and doesn't really fit in the context of their conversation, be it the preceding lines (Alex teasing Lord for being jealous and/or in love with Supergirl) or the succeeding ones (Lord asking Alex about what connection she has with Supergirl). Seriously, at least have the decency to know that your audience aren't utter morons and put some effort into actually inserting your pro-feminist messages in ways that actually, y'know work for the story. Your story is falling apart already as it is, don't add to the damage already done. 

To be fair, though, that rant ultimately ended up concentrated in two forgettable scenes, and the rest of the episode is still pretty decent. Pacing could stand to be better, and Lord is still uninteresting, but we got a fair amount of nice scenes and some well-done moments for J'onn, Alex, Winn and Kara.
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