Tuesday, 23 April 2019

Supergirl S04E17 Review: I Come Offering Donuts And Help

Supergirl, Season 4, Episode 17: All About Eve


Martian Manhunter Alex Ross.pngYeah, real life's been kind of very oddly-scheduled that I really didn't have time to catch up with as many TV shows or whatever as I would've liked to. Anyway, have a Supergirl episode... I'm not sure how regularly I'll have the energy to both watch and review the superhero TV shows regularly. I think I watched this episode when it aired, took notes, but just never got the time to review it until just now.

Anyway, this episode was... great! Mostly because of the J'onn J'onzz stuff. J'onn is a character that the show sometimes has trouble handling, becuase they really do want to save the budget on the expensive CGI (or is it a costume?) Martian Manhunter, and one that has been pretty disappointingly handled at several parts of the show, but between David Harewood's powerful performance and great focus episodes like this, J'onn will always remain one of the most memorable characters from this show for me.

After nearly falling from the sky due to some vague loss sense of purpose, Kara basically tells J'onn that it's okay for him to take care of himself, at which point we get some really trippy maybe-hallucination maybe-real-ghosts (it's the former) as J'onn's meditation due to his loss of self ended up summoning a specter of M'yrnn, giving us the very welcome return of Carl Lumbly. Despite M'yrnn's fun, kooky attitude, he very cheerily gives the admission that he's here to take the Sacred Symbols back (so the martians' bible are... telepathic or some shit?), although he will deign to stick around for a pot of c'off'ee.

The argument between J'onn and M'yrnn recalls some previous arguments in the past, with J'onn being angry -- M'yrnn asks him how he can still be a pacifist if he's a killer (oh, right, Manchester is "dead"), but J'onn then starts ranting about how he would not have let everything burn like Mars, and if martian religion should die then SO BE IT. We get an amazing delivery as J'onn declares loudly that "AT LEAST I KNOW WHO I AM! I'M THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER!" God that was an amazingly delivered line, and it's clear that M'yrnn is just playing the antagonistic role to get J'onn to basically admit that, yes, his biggest desire now is to be a protector of Earth, and that M'yrnn never wanted J'onn to be exactly the sort of pacifist that he is, and J'onn must be true to himself. And, of course, we get the revelation that M'yrnn is totally just a psychic extension of J'onn's memory of his father.

An amazingly written scene, honestly, which... don't get me wrong, the rest of the episode is still kinda decent, but they're sort of just there, y'know?

As for the main plot, Supergirl comes "offering donuts and help" for the DEO, because the dumb amnesia plot is still ongoing for some goddamn reason, and Haley accepts the help and the donuts. Oh, and despite the whole "All About Eve" title, while we do a bit of investigation to Eve Tessmacher's backstory... I really don't feel there's much to talk about? There's a terminally ill aunt that got healed with the Harun-El cure. Supergirl and Lena finally admit that they're both myopic and too quick to jump at each other's throats and make up -- I am indifferent to this storyline, but I do appreciate the quiet and mature resolution.
J'onn J'onzz season 2 character portrait
Oh yeah, apparently Luthor has an army of Metallos and has brought Otis back to life -- I completely forgot he was supposed to be dead. We get a team-up and blow up Metallo, but while all this is going on, Luthor's pulling strings to repeal the alien amnesty act, while simultaneously using a holographic Eve to trick Supergirl and traps her in a Luthorsuit while Linda "Red Daughter" Lee zips in, pretending to Supergirl, and does some superhero terrorism in the White House. Sort of a dumb move by Kara, but still a great plot development.

We've got a bunch of plot twists, too -- Lena meets her mother, who mocks her, but later on it turns out that Lex apparently intended to assassinate their mother as well because mustache-twirling villainy, I guess? There's the very bland Ben Lockwood take-your-son-to-work-day subplot, although we get some hilarious expression from Sam Witwer as he deals with a completely unimpressed senator... and when said senator later proves cooperative, I guess Lockwood realizes that his accomplishments are being pulled by some other manipulator? There's also a boring subplot with James and his sister with James admitting that he's scared shitless of Luthor. I appreciate the acknowledgement of PTSD and mental trauma and all, but this feels so detached from everything and so much more inferior to the J'onn J'onzz scene playing concurrently.

Anyway, the episode ends with president Boxleitner declaring martial law for protection, Lockwood slightly unnerved at the thought that he's a pawn, Supergirl managing to get Alex and General Haley on her side, and, uh... J'onn goes back to Mars for some reason? The main storyline is still pretty neat, even if I'm still pretty frustrated at the stupid amnesia plot that's just ratcheting up in an artificially-prolonged drama. 

Monday, 22 April 2019

Pokemon S01E11 Review: Sad Lizard Oh Nooo

Pokemon, Season 1, Episode 11: Charmander, the Stray Pokemon


So, our heroes are still lost, as you do in basically two out of three Pokemon episodes. And while Bulbasaur is my favourite Kanto starter, I don't think I'm alone in recognizing that Charmander's debut episode is the best one out of the three Kanto starters. It's became kind of a classic for the simple reason that it sort of foregoes the usual slapstick and actually resorts to some drama. And there's even the threat of death -- something that is memorably not censored in the English version.

Anyway, our heroes meet a Charmander sleeping on a rock, and the Pokedex quickly establish a fact that a Charmander will straight-up fucking die if the flame on its tail is extinguished. Brock points out to Ash that because this particular Charmander's tail flame is weak, Ash should be able to catch it without any problem, but, of course, this doesn't work out and Charmander breaks out of the ball a couple of times. A short bit of adorable Pika-charades later, and we find out that Charmander has a trainer, and he's waiting for him.

Leaving Charmander behind, our heroes arrive a log cabin Pokemon Center and seek refuge, and I think this is the first time we see Pokemon Centers doubling as like a tavern for these adventuring kids. It's storming heavily, though, and we get a brief glance of poor Charmander covering himself and his tail flame with a gigantic leaf. Brock is very worried (he clearly is the parent of the team), but then gets super angry when they coincidentally find out that Charmander's trainer, Daisuke (known as Damien in the dub, and Douchebag in this review)... and Daisuke is like Gary, but without any redeeming qualities. He has his groupies of yes-men, and boasts about his impressive collection... before telling them that he used to have a Charmander, who he junked because it was too weak.

Abandoning a weak Pokemon is pretty horrible, and we kinda see some abandoned Pokemon in the previous episode, but Douchebag then continues to tell the story that the Charmander keeps following him, so he just tells him to "wait here, I'll be back". What a dick! Brock, understandably, gets angry and tells Douchesuke to go back and take responsibility, because the Charmander will wait until he dies. Especially in this storm. Brock and Ash very nearly get into a fight with Douchebag and his groupies until Nurse Joy tells them to stop the fight.

After a brief gag of Brock being smitten at Joy's prettiness, he shakes it off and goes off to rescue Charmander. Misty goes, complaining all the way, but also makes it clear that, hey, she can't very well leave the Charmander alone -- which is sweet. We get a pretty sad scene of poor Charmander, shielding his tail flame with a huge leaf, and then he gets attacked by a bunch of feral Spearows, because Spearows are dicks. Pikachu scares them off with a lightning show, and we get our heroes hurriedly wrapping Charmander up in their raincoats and rushing him to the PC. It's a genuinely dramatic scene, with all the wind and rain and the darker filter they put the scene through, and I definitely like it.

I do like the scene of this Joy doing the same thing as the Joy from Viridian City, being absolutely aghast at how hard they worked the Charmander, before they set her straight and tell her that this wasn't even their Charmander. And I do really like the scenes showing Brock being all worried about Charmander as it's being taken into the operating room and whatnot... which honestly makes me kinda disappointed that it isn't Brock that gets Charmander. I know Ash is the main character, but the episode really sets up Brock as the one that is the most protective of the little lizard, doesn't it?

In the next morning, Charmander escapes from the PC, and our heroes morosely realize that while Charmander is probably thankful, until Charmander acknowledges Daisuke's not a nice man he will keep waiting and waiting. It's... it's a surprisingly mature topic to tackle, and while this sort of Stockholm's Syndrome/abuse theme isn't developed particularly well, it's one that feels like it's brought to a satisfying conclusion better than, say, the Sandshrew or the high school episodes.

All this drama is given some leeway as we get some Team Rocket hijinks. Jessie and James tell Meowth that they have a giant transforming mecha to help them catch Pikachu. Meowth is utterly amazed... until the giant transforming mecha just helps them drill a hole. A hole that James and Jessie have to cover up themselves, because "science can only go so far", as Jessie puts it. That's hilarious! We even get a brief visual gag of Team Rocket forgetting to hide the machine, and had to hurriely have it walk and hide very unconvincingly behind a tree.

Thankfully, the twerp trio are as dumb as Team Rocket, and they fall into the pitfall anyway. Team Rocket shows up with rubber hazmat armour and a bizarre gun that shoots out a rubber bubble. And considering that they're going to be thundershocked almost regularly for 600+ episodes going forwards, it's surprising that they don't don ruber clothes 24/7... but I digress. It's also a bit silly for our heroes to not call out like Pidgeotto or Butterfree or Zubat or whatever, but, of course, we need Charmander to be the hero! Charmander just unleashes a gigantic burst of flame that burns all the rubber off and drives Team Rocket running away.

Douchesuke, who's apparently just been hiding in the bushes randomly, realizes how powerful his Charmander has gotten, and shows up "as promised". The trio call him out on his douchebagginess, and credit where credit's due, Daisuke is at least honest enough, going into a rant about how of course weaklings should be thrown away, and that he never planned on coming back... but that all changes because, hey, Charmander's strong now, so he can return.

Finally realizing what a douchebag Daisuke is, Charmander whacks the pokeball to Daisuke's face and then burns him when he threatens to unleash his dozen pokemon. Pikachu joins in with a thunderbolt and I can't blame the little rat for joining in. And then... Brock tells Ash to get Charmander because "you protected its tail flame", which... isn't a good reason, but whatever. Charmander jumps into Ash's pokeball, none of this "fight me to prove you're worthy stuff" that Bulbasaur pulled off, and we're just one member short of completing a full six-man party!

Anyway, I really do like this episode. I'm pretty sure they reuse this plot again in future seasons (for Ash's Chimchar and Tepig, I believe?) and for good reason. I won't say that a merchandise-driven children's Saturday morning cartoon is trying to make any sort of grandstanding announcement about abandonment issues or breaking free of your abusers or anything, but the dude on the writer's seat for this episode is certainly a lot more superior compared to much the filler droll we'll be having in the future. 

Pokemon Index:
  • Pokemon: Spearow, Pikachu, Charmander, Meowth
  • Humans: Ash, Brock, Misty, Nurse Joy, Daisuke, James, Jessie

Assorted Notes: 
  • So a couple episodes later we see that trainers are restricted to six Pokemon on-hand, just like the games, so I'm not sure why Douchebag Dude is allowed to run around with like 20+ pokeballs... unless he is a total tool and is actually boasting with empty pokeballs. I mean, this isn't Pokemon Special, you can't see what's in those things...
  • Charmander's life being tied to his tail-flame is sort of an exaggeration of the original Pokedex noting that the tail-flame is tied to Charmander's health. It's became canon in future games, though, I believe. 
  • The Japanese narrator establishes that our heroes are lost somewhere near Route 24, which is actually accurate -- in the games, Route 24 is indeed near Cerulean City. Directly north of it, in fact. In Pokemon Yellow and the Let's Go games, this is where a (significantly less douchebaggy) NPC gives you a Charmander. 
  • I have some questions as to whether Daisuke has formally released Charmander or not prior to abandoning him, but I guess he has, considering how free Charmander was to choose which trainer to follow afterwards. 

Series Review: Kamen Rider Wizard

Kamen Rider Wizard [2012-2013]


"Now, it's showtime!"

So I'm going to bite the bullet and do series reviews for the Kamen Rider shows I've watched. And I threw the names of the series I've watched into a hat and out came Wizard, so... yeah. Which is kind of fortunate, since Kamen Rider Wizard is going to be a series that I don't have a whole ton to talk about, so I can actually start off with a brief introduction about the franchise.

Kamen Rider is a long-running franchise which features constant renewals and an ever-changing roster of protagonists (basically every year), and it's divided into three major eras, based on the general tone that the series have taken. Each of the individual series in those eras have a distinctly different tone, and were handled by different production team. The first era, Showa, is mostly regarded as the 'old one', with significantly lower budget and tending to be a bit more dark and violent in tone and action. I haven't really watched much of the Showa stuff. The second era, Heisei, is mainly divided into two different sub-eras, with the first era being a bit less merchandise-driven, and the second era (sometimes referred to Neo-Heisei, or Phase 2 Heisei) tending to be a lot more merchandise-driven with multiple super forms and multiple riders.

Click here for more reading and a full listing of series, and I won't go too much into depth. Suffice to say that the series we're reviewing, Kamen Rider Wizard, is the fourth series in the Phase 2 Heisei shows, and 29th main Kamen Rider overall, and ran from 2012 to 2013. And thus, like most Phase 2 Heisei shows, it had a lighter, more comedic theme and a lot of toy gimmicks. And while some fans have a problem with that... I don't, as long as the story and characters are handled well.

So... how is Kamen Rider Wizard as a show? I'll do these reviews with a more overall talk about the series as a whole, and then under the spoiler section, I'll do a brief talk about all the main characters of the show and what I think of them.

Overall Series Review:

So Kamen Rider Wizard has one of the most interesting concepts I've seen in these Kamen Rider shows. Most Kamen Rider stuff tended to play on a quasi-sci-fi feel, either using ambiguous supervillain/superhero science or ancient artifacts to explain the source of their heroes' power. Kamen Rider Wizard takes things from the whole other spectrum, though, with our hero, Soma Haruto, proclaiming that he is a magician, and the term "Ring-Wielding Magician" is used to describe our hero as much as the term "Kamen Rider". So this is the Dr. Strange or the Zatanna equivalent for Kamen Riders, which is totally fine!

And it starts off introducing our characters in quick succession, as well as the concepts of magicians in general. Not everyone can be a wizard, but those that do focus their powers through magical rings (collect them all, kids!), and as the only person that is able to use magic in the nondescript Japanese city, and one of the survivors of a mysterious tragedy involving an eclipse, Haruto has taken up the mantle of Kamen Rider Wizard in order to protect the world. Proclaiming himself to be the "Last Hope", the way he fights the villains of the show, the monsters called the Phantoms, who wish to transform humans with latent magical energy (called "Gates") into more Phantoms by driving them into despair. Haruto has to defeat the Phantoms in real life, before going into the 'underworld' of their victims and restore their hope there. Mostly by drop-kicking the physical manifestation of their despair, because this is still a Kamen Rider show.

Sure, the concept is cheesy, but I don't mind shows with a cheesy premise as long as the story and characters are good. Kamen Rider has proven itself to be able to take silly, cheesy themes and to do something great with it. But after the first couple of arcs, it's clear that... Wizard's biggest fault is how static it is. Which is a shame, because the cast is genuinely charismatic, but other than maybe an episode for each of the main characters, they just repeat the same tired jokes and go through the same conflict over and over again. Particularly the stretch of two-parters where Haruto gains the Flame/Hurricane/Water/Land Dragon Styles all feel repetitive, as is most of the fight scenes afterwards where it's just waiting until Haruto busts out his body-replicating magic of summoning all four forms. His 'final' form, Infinity Form, also feels like it shows up with an asspull... I'm no stranger to characters in Japanese fiction getting power-ups through feelings and stuff, but this is a particularly bad example of one.

One of my biggest gripe is how Kamen Rider Wizard sticks so hard to the "monster of the two-parter" format. Kamen Rider shows range from those that like monster-of-the-week format, monster-of-the-two-parter format and more serialized, interconnected shows, but most shows tended to have stretches where the main plot takes over from the monster-of-the-week. Not so for Wizard, where up until the end, there's no real sense of urgency or the plot being moved forwards. Lasting 53 episodes, (and Kamen Rider shows tend to last somewhere between 45-50) this show doesn't feel like it's going anywhere even when we're in the late forties, with the status quo mostly being similar other than the addition of a couple of new tricks and characters. I could divide up other more plot-extensive Kamen Rider shows based on the arcs (or at least main villains), but with Wizard... it's the "let's know our characters", lasting for the first four or five episodes, a huge glut of repetition in the middle with very, very slow build-up, and a final rush to four or five episodes where huge revelations happen and the main villains finally do something.

(Oh and the last two episodes aren't actually real episodes, I feel, but more of a crossover special tacked on to the end of the show, and the show's real conclusion is 51. Sure, Wizard is sort of the main character, but episodes 52 and 53 is sort of an "all Riders together!" moment and the introduction of the next rider, fruit boy Gaim.)

The show starts off with Haruto and a couple of the characters being already part of the superheroing business, and we slowly get drip-fed some backstory about how magic works in this world, and it seemed kind of different. Unlike most of the Heisei-era Kamen Riders, instead of slowly learning to become a Kamen Rider over the course of the first couple of episodes, Wizard is one of the few who is already one when the series starts, and a damn experienced one that's mostly calm and stoic. But as charismatic as Haruto's actor is, it ends up with the series ending up feeling more dull than anything, especially since he resolves any crises in his character over the course of five minutes. Early on we get some hints that his power comes at a greater cost, and that the dragon that lives inside him and provides his magical power is going to give us some Naruto-style side effects... but none of this really ends up panning out to anything.

And it's... it's my biggest complaint about the show. It honestly feels like it goes nowhere, and when we finally get to the final arc of the episode (which lasted around three or four episodes) and fight the Big Bads of the show, the revelations that the show give us feel like they should be revelations that a superior show would pull off as the mid-season revelation. Ultimately, I honestly feel like the show didn't do a good job at building a world, or a plotline that I care about. The show does manage to set up an actually charismatic set of characters, some really great aesthetics... but it feels like the first ten or twelve episodes of a season stretched into 40+ episodes, where the show keeps going "hey, these characters are cool, right? They're funny and charming and you love them!" And I do kinda love them... but are you going to do anything with them?

There's a plot twist near the end that's actually pretty neat and is a nice little revelation (I won't spoil it in this segment), but ultimately the story feels just dry and just a collection of episodes-of-the-week, sort of like Pokemon. And that's the biggest weakness of the show. None of the side characters ultimately feel like they matter at all, and the two that do -- Koyomi and Kamen Rider Beast -- only get their development in literally the final episodes of the show.

Wizard's gangWhich is a huge, huge shame. From a production standpoint, Kamen Rider Wizard has one of my all-time favourite suits, one of the straight-up best soundtrack in the entire franchise, a pretty charismatic cast, great visuals in both monster and costuming design... but they're just not allowed to do anything until the last four or five episodes where it seemed like an entire season's worth of story is just crammed in to lead to a climax. Wizard would probably have been better served had it been shorter, maybe 20-30 episodes long, due to how utterly repetitive everything ended up being. I remembered watching episode 43 or something of the series and being utterly mind-boggled that the show hasn't actually gone anywhere. Even episodes where Haruto gains power-ups, or episodes focusing on the secondary rider, Beast, doesn't really do anything to do much in terms of world-building or character development.

And I do sound like a bit of a downer about this show, and I definitely feel like it's one of the weaker shows that I've watched. But I don't dislike it in any way! While Wizard doesn't actually get cracking with the plot until like the last arc, the individual episodes-of-the-week, while throwaway, tend to be pretty dang charming.  I watched it whenever there's some off-time at work, which is how I ended up going through all 53 episodes. I don't think this is a show that I could probably stand to binge-watch, but as something that's more of a distraction sort of entertainment, it's definitely a lot better. And the style! And the music! I don't talk a lot about music, but the almost-orchestral tunes that play when Wizard does his action scenes are pretty well-done. Wizard isn't a bad show, honestly... it's just one that had a lot of utterly wasted potential and some pretty shit pacing. The show itself carries a massive load of charm, which does honestly end up helping to put Wizard into being good enough for me to consider an average series.

And this show definitely makes me really, really hungry for donuts.


Sunday, 21 April 2019

Reviewing Monsters: The Elder Scrolls IV - Oblivion, Part 1

A while back, we did a review-talk of all monsters in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, taking place in the frigid northlands of the continent of Tamriel. This time around, we're going to be covering the monsters and enemies of Skyrim's predecessor, Oblivion, a critically acclaimed game that takes place at the heart of Cyrodiil, the quasi-Roman province that is located at the center of Tamriel, and home to the Empire that rules over all of Tamriel... at least, prior to Oblivion. In the main storyline of Oblivion, the Emperor is assassinated by a cult that's hell-bent on causing the destruction of the entire mortal plane and bring about the invasion of the Daedra -- the setting's equivalent to demons.

Oblivion was released in 2006 and is considered to be one of the most revolutionary RPG games of the time. Not going to harp on too much about the game itself, as that would probably take up a fair amount of time, but here we go as I try and obsessively talk about every single creature in the game.

_____________________________

Rat


As with what we did in Skyrim, I'm going to start by quickly listing off the "normal animals" found in any RPG setting. Rats and Mudcrabs are basically the 'critters' that die after a couple whacks of your sword and are about as threatening as a bucket. You do kind of need rats in any given RPG, even if Cyrodiil's rats are apparently a lot more cuter and pet-like than the nasty, mangy Skeevers of Skyrim.

Mud Crab


Mudcrabs (parsed as Mud Crabs in this game) are the other stock 'weak monster', and they are significantly different than the Mudcrabs in Skyrim! These don't hide and pretend to be rocks, and have far, far smaller claws and far more prominent and elongated legs as compared to their body. This actually makes them look more like some species of deep sea crabs in real life as opposed to mudcrabs. Like rats, though, the mudcrabs occupy a unique 'nuisance' tier of enemy that are basically just there for flavour. Unlike rats, though, when mudcrabs appear in, like, an Ayleid dungeon or a bandit camp, there tend to be far less justification, which is something I appreciate about Skyrim -- monsters only show up in thematically appropriate locations.

    Dogs & Wolves


    And, right on cue, here are the wolves and dogs of the game. Dogs (left) tend to be non-hostile and found among humans, although they're otherwise near-identical to wolves. Wolves are... well, they're wolves! Two main variants roam Cyrodiil, the buck-standard Wolf and the Timber Wolf. I think that they tend to hunt in packs, making them a wee bit more annoying compared to bears and boars. They're easily the weakest beasts in the game that aren't rats and crabs, though.

    Bear


    Bears! I don't really have much to say about here. Two variants exist, with the black bears being exactly half as weak compared to brown bears. Not much to say here. As in most RPG's, bears and wolves tend to occupy a niche of animals that feel like a threat since they are far more powerful than humans in real life, but aren't actually threatening once you start leveling up and challenging, like, demons and dragons and shit.

    Boar


    It's interesting that boars are portrayed as always-hostile in this game! Real-life boars tend to be about as irate and hostile to humans anyway. Not much to say here, it's neat to sell the 'generic Western RPG setting' feel of Cyrodiil, but I forgot that boars are even in this game until I looked up a list of monsters.

    Mountain Lion


    Basically the equivalent of Sabrecats in Skyrim, Mountain Lions are the fast but fragile predator to contrast the bear's slow but sturdy deal. They're... they're lions! Only female models are around in Cydoriil, because it's not a particularly important enemy that deserves multiple models, and Oblivion is a pretty old game. I do remember that these are the first enemy you fight in the Fighter's Guild storyline, in a fun subversion of a 'kill the rat' quest, you're instead supposed to protect a woman's rat pets from a starving mountain lion.

    Slaughterfish


    While the Slaughterfish in Skyrim are like this cross of piranhas with a crocodile-inspired mouth, the Slaughterfish of Cyrodiil are... they're just a long fish that's like a small pike or some shit, but with that row of nasty, stabby teeth. These come in many sizes, and move in a way similar to eels... but where Slaughterfish were far more annoying in Skyrim, in Oblivion your character can actually swing their sword underwater, making actual combat with these fishies a possibility. I do find that the fact that the Slaughterfish from Oblivion and Skyrim look so different is a neat bit of "sure, why not?" After all, we tend to use blanket terms to describe creatures in real-life anyway.

    Non-Hostile Animals


    Oblivion doesn't really go all-in with making a whole ton of non-hostile animals like Skyrim does, but they do have a couple. Deer, sheep and horses are around, with the deer basically prancing around the wilds, sheep found in farms and horses... well, you buy horses and then ride them around, although the horses are significantly less useful than they are in Skyrim.

    Goblins


    That's all of the regular animals done, so let's get to the actual monsters! As with what I did with Skyrim, I'm leaving DLC enemies and the Daedra for a second part, so as not to make this article too long. The goblins are completely absent in Skyrim, but are everywhere in Cyrodiil, acting as some of the first enemies you meet. Unlike some franchises that feature intelligent goblins (World of Warcraft being the primary thing that comes to mind), the goblins of Oblivion are just bestial little shitbags that are always hostile and only screech at you and try to murder you.

    Five main variants exist -- in order of the images here, these are the regular Goblin, the Goblin Skirmisher, the Goblin Berserker, the Goblin Shaman and the Goblin Warlord. The goblins tend to be straightforward in their attacks and just charge into battle, and while they tend to be able to deal decent amount of damage, all of their equipment are always pretty shit, or even unlootable... although I guess they are smaller than your character, so their armour might simply just not fit.

    They're your archetypal angry, screeching goblin enemies. I do like the fact that some shamans carry around staves that are topped with the skull of another unfortunate goblin. Interestingly, and this is a mechanic that I genuinely wasn't aware of until it was pointed out, there are multiple goblin tribes in the game -- the Bloody Hand, the Bitterscale, the Rockbiter, the Three-Feather, et cetera... and they are based around their own settlements and caves. They don't really wander around too much since the NPC system isn't anywhere as intricate as Skyrim's, but if they meet, they will fight. Pretty neat!

    Imp


    I'm not sure what's up with Imps. They're pretty distinct from Scamps (which are counted as Daedra) and Goblins. They're just like these little, well, humanoid creatures with wings that fly around, and are pretty dang weak. And there really isn't much to say about them. I do like how they look, but as one of the weakest enemies in the game, you would tend to over-level the 'random enemy generator' that code for Imp enemies or whatever.

    Trolls


    Hey, it's Trolls! Trolls are basically the same as they were in Skyrim, three-eyed monstrous ape-like beasts that are always hostile, attack quickly, able to regenerate health, and are weak to fire spells. There aren't much to say about them, but I do notice that there are significantly more trolls in Cyrodiil than they are in Skyrim, with entire cave networks tending to be populated by trolls. There are a bunch of troll variants in the game to tie in with quests. Not much to say beyond that, since I've said all I had to say about this design in my Skyrim reviews.

    Will-o-the-Wisp


    Will-o-the-Wisps are always interesting creatures because they're one of the most weird and variable things that fantasy settings always do differently, due to the existence of comparable phenomenon in different folk tales of different cultures. Playing with Oblivion being more akin to a more Middle Ages setting, Will-o-the-Wisps are basically just glowing light entities that flicker in and out of sight that live in swamps or marshes, and are completely hostile. They will float near your character, and then use magical spells that will absorb your health and magicka. I do love how they are completely invisible and will flit in and out of existence. It's a bit primitive compared to modern games, but I do appreciate the thought given to this enemy.

    Will-o-the-Wisps also operate by 'ghost rules', something that's kind of dropped in Skyrim. Ghosts and Will-o-the-Wisps are only able to be damaged by enchanted or silver weapons, and normal weapons and poisons have absolutely no effect on them. I also like the bizarreness of the Wisp corpses apparently being just a bunch of crystal-like shards, which... which aren't really explained. Do like this thing! It's a scary life-draining ball of light that's not undead, but somehow works on undead rules.

    Minotaurs & Minotaur Lords


    Humanoid mosnters are probably a bit easier for the designers to program, since they kind of work off of the same sort of movement skeleton as the actual humanoid NPC's in the game. Or maybe it's as hard to program these in. I don't really know, I'm not a game programmer. But Minotaurs populate the land of Cyrodiil as some of the stronger enemies, which... I guess fits in with the quasi-Greco-Roman theme that some parts of the Oblivion ruins seem to have?

    There are two variants with distinctly different forms, with regular Minotaurs having shorter horns compared to the Minotaur Lords, who have far, far curvier horns. Both of the pictures show minotaurs with hammers, but some of them spawn without them and just run around headbutting you. It's... it's a pretty neat depiction of a minotaur, honestly, even if the colouration does admittedly make it look more like a dude wearing a bull's head for a mask. Not much to say... it's a standard minotaur enemy, but sometimes you just need to have some standards thrown in there.

    Spriggan


    While the Spriggans of Skyrim are badass-looking women made literally out of branches and ivy, the Spriggans in Oblivion are more akin to fairy women with Poison Ivy style plant clothes. And very, very long fingers. Spriggans in Oblivion are a whole lot weaker than their Skyrim counterpart, lacking some of the more frustrating abilities that the Skyrim Spriggans are able to do. They are still able to make your life hell, though, able to summon bears and cast curses that damage your health. And as with any self-respecting nature spirit, Spriggans are weak to fire.

    While Spriggans are still basically just treated as nature spirits and doesn't quite receive as much focus or dedicated dungeons as their Skyrim counterparts, I do like the random detail that Spriggans are programmed to not be able to approach bodies of water. It doesn't really matter for gameplay purposes, and the Spriggans aren't involved in any of Oblivion's storylines, but it's a neat little detail that fits into the whole fae theme that this Spriggan has going on.

    Ogres


    Sort of the equivalent to Giants in Skyrim, the Ogres are... they're just big humanoids with giant bellies and arms, doing absolutely nothing beyond physical punches and just being kind of slow and bulky. Also, a weakness to poison, which isn't something that's particularly intuitive, but okay. Ogres are one of the few enemies to continue to level up with your player character, making them almost always a threat to you, and probably why ogres are the bosses of a fair amount of quests. It's a pretty neat looking, if not particularly innovative, ogre. I don't really have many comments about this design, but also not a lot of complaints. I guess that's what I feel about a vast majority of Oblivion's enemies. They're just... classic designs that are done right, but aren't particularly exciting or innovative.

    Land Dreugh

    Land Dreugh Oblivion transparent
    File:LG-cardart-Ferocious Dreugh.png...other than this dude! The Land Dreugh is apparently a variation of an enemy in Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, simply called Dreughs and are basically monster-mermaids with octopus tentacles. With a whole lot less focus on aquatic combat, though, and the Slaughterfish being practically the only underwater enemy in Oblivion, the Dreugh is updated as a land monster, being this gigantic crab-lobster man that walks around with four crustacean legs, two that poke out of his shoulders, and reptilian claws. That disturbingly humanoid torso makes the Dreugh far more uncomfortable looking than if it was just a giant crab mutant. Later lore in subsequent games would tell us that apparently the Land Dreugh and the Water Dreugh are the same species in different stages of its life cycle, and apparently the Dreughs are aquatic creatures that transform into this crab-spider form to go on land to reproduce. Cool!

    For some bizarre reason, the dreughs do shock damage, which... I'm not even going to try to think about too much. It's also got magical resistance, which probably makes a bit more sense. Dreughs appear relatively late into the game, when you've reached a certain level threshold, and can basically spawn anywhere in the world. Pretty badass stuff.

    Anyway, easily and by far my favourite thing on this page.

    Unicorn


    The Unicorn is a unique creature that appears exactly once, as the target of Hircine's Daedric Quest -- to those that are unfamiliar with Elder Scrolls lore, there are many, many Daedric Princes, sort of like the gods/demons of the setting, and they all have their quests scattered all over any given Elder Scrolls game that tended to be themed around the Daedric Prince's sphere of influence, and always rewards a unique and powerful item. Hircine, previously an antagonist in a Morrowind expansion, is the Prince of the Hunt, and basically sends you off to hunt a unicorn.

    It's basically a horse with a horn, but it is neat to have this fun lore behind it where apparently you just hunted down and killed the final Unicorn just to appease a god and get a set of armour. I also love the fact that the Unicorn is an extremely aggressive beast that will attack everything on sight, not just the player, and is apparently accompanied by three Minotaurs that specifically are identified as its bodyguards.

    Skeletons


    Undead enemies now! One of the most common enemies in dungeons are the undead, and that's true because a lot of the villains are necromancers -- including basically every single villain in the Mage's Guild storyline. The land of Cyrodiil is also dotted with Ayleid ruins, which are the ruins of an ancient elf race, the wild elves. Because the appearance of the Ayleid is still meant to be a mystery, all that remains of them are their reanimated bones and corpses.

    One of the most classic undead enemies is the humble skeleton, and it's... well, it's a skeleton. Comes in three variants -- the Skeleton, the Skeleton Guardian, the Skeleton Hero and the Skeleton Champion, and the player can summon one of their own. The Skeleton Champion can even summon its own Skeleton minion! Not much to say here. They're neat bony enemies.

    Zombies


    Slightly stronger than their Skeleton equivalents, the Zombies tend to be able to tank more hits than their Skeleton equivalent, and often deal extra damage thanks to their ability to inflict diseases. Zombies are also extra-weak to fire, but immune to poison and resists most forms of magic. Unlike the "zombies" in Skyrim that are just reanimated NPC's, the Zombies in Oblivion have a far cooler looking model with exposed bone and muscles!

    The three Zombie variants are the regular Zombie, which is just a corpse, the Headless Zombie, which, well, doesn't have a head (and also an extra arm), and the Dread Zombie, who's missing an arm but glows green and is a goddamn pain to bring down. Definitely love the fact that the variants actually do end up having different models as opposed to just swapping out weaponry.

    Ghosts


    We've hinted at the uniqueness of Ghosts in this game when I talked about Will-o-Wisps, but to recap... they are immune to normal, unenchanted weapons, as well as poison and frost damage. Only magical weapons, spells and silver weaponry can damage them, meaning that they are extremely deadly to a novice character since all you can do is to use the shitty spells you have to try and damage the ghosts. Hilariously, though, due to an oversight, your fists apparently count as enchanted weapons. Whoops!

    Two variants of the Ghosts are available, the regular Ghost and the Ancient Ghost, and they are basically the upper half of an old person's body that just hover around trailing clouds of mists. A lot, lot cooler and more unique than the silly "NPC run through a transparent filter" bullshit that Skyrim has for their ghosts. Anyway, they're not particularly threatening, but pretty dang cool.

    Wraiths


    After a while, though, the Ghosts are replaced by Wraiths, which have the most annoying sound ever, but do have a pretty cool design. They behave similarly to ghosts, but have a different model that are clearly cloaked, and they wield swords and are particularly powerful casters that love to shoot out debilitating spells to fuck you up. The most annoying ones can drain endurance, or silence you. I'm pretty sure 99% of the times that my character in Oblivion has to go to a temple to pray away permanent stat damage was thanks to wraiths.

    Three variants exist -- the Faded Wraith, the regular Wraith and the Gloom Wraith -- and I absolutely love how each progressively more powerful version of the Wraith seem to be more and more materialized, gaining more colour and more vivid detail compared to their weaker counterparts. Pretty damn awesome attention to detail in a game that tended to just shrug and adjust stats for different enemy variations. Wraiths have the same amount of 'ghost rules' as Ghosts, and if they didn't have such an annoying voice I'd love them more.

    Liches


    The most powerful of all undead monsters, and the ones that tend to be the bosses in a dungeon, are the Liches. They appear in two forms, the half-invisible Nether Lich, and the fully corporeal Lich. They cast spells with staves from afar, which tend to be insanely destructive, and are themselves armed with spells of their own if you somehow cause them to run out of charges for their spells. Liches are also able to summon other undead, and are able to absorb spells and are immune to both poison and frost.

    Other than a couple specific bosses (one at the end of a particularly notable haunted house mission, for example), they don't quite any lore beyond being powerful undead sorcerers, though, which is a shame. Presumably they work on the same sort of lich logic that any D&D-inspired setting is, but unlike the Dragon Priests of Skyrim, there is absolutely nothing that makes any given lich more interesting than any given gloom wraith. Still, a pretty neat design for an undead sorcerer, in any case.

    Pokemon S01E10 Review: Hidden Leaf Village

    Pokemon, Season 1, Episode 10: Bulbasaur of the Hidden Village


    So in this long stretch as we go to Vermilion City (to be fair, it's going to last a mere 6 episodes, which isn't that much compared to some filler arcs) our heroes once again find themselves lost... but that doesn't matter, because they quickly get distracted by an Oddish drinking water near a stream. Misty and Ash argue about who gets to capture the Oddish, with Misty going in with Starmie based on the logic that "it's near water, so a water specialist should capture it". Of course, they get interrupted by the star of the week.... Bulbasaur! Bulbasaur quickly makes good on being a badass by whacking Starmie silly, and then when Ash's Butterfree joins in, apparently Bulbasaur can blow Butterfree's sleep powder back at the poor bug. Yes, in these merchandise-driven shows, if you're the subject of "new toy syndrome", you can basically beat anyone who comes your path in your debut episode.

    Bulbasaur and Oddish escape, causing the trio (well, mostly Ash) to be resolved to capturing Bulbasaur. However, they quickly find themselves caught in pitfalls and eventually a collapsing rope bridge... and Brock falls off to his seeming doom into the river! Well, not really, although the episode plays with Brock being MIA for longer than I thought. Ash and Misty later find themselves trapped on a little net trap, and Brock walks up to cut them loose -- telling them that he was rescued from drowning by a lady called Midori (Melanie in the dub).

    We get some backstory that Midori runs a hidden off-the-maps village that works like a Pokemon Sanatorium, where she looks for injured or abandoned Pokemon, and I do like the idyllic nature of the location -- what little we get to see, anyway. Interestingly, we get to see Brock all flustered and panicked when Misty observes that Brock like-likes Midori, which I thought was kinda hilarious at how subdued this was and how panicked Brock gets, especially considering how... exaggerated Brock's reaction to ladies would get in future seasons.

    We learn that Midori is also the one who set up all those deadly traps (complete with cuts to Team Rocket, hunting for the village, falling into all those traps)... which... wow, that's pretty horrible of her, huh? If this wasn't working on cartoon physics, people could've died just crossing the road.

    We get a genuinely nice scene of Misty apologizing to the Oddish, who was apparently abandoned by its trainer, but this gets interrupted when Bulbasaur tackles Misty from behind, and then just keeps growling and pushing for Ash and Misty to get the fuck out of his village. Midori tells them that Bulbasaur is the protector of the village, and he will always be hostile to any threat. Realizing this, Ash decides to abandon getting Bulbasaur.

    But then Team Rocket shows up with a ridiculously gigantic metallic dome with balloons... if they had that for the episode, what was the point of walking down the road and falling into all the traps? (Slapstick. Slapstick is the point). Apparently this giant dome mecha thing is also a vacuum machine, so is it the same one as the one they used in Cerulean City? Our heroes rescue all of the injured Pokemon, with a slightly extended scene of Bulbasaur and Ash rescuing Oddish, before everyone runs into the cabin. And then the counter-attack begins, with Bulbasaur vine-whipping the vacuum machine, and Pidgeotto's gust attack... somehow breaking physics, combines with the suction from Team Rocket's machine and creating a big-ass cartoon tornado that sends Team Rocket blasting off again.

    After this brief crisis is dealt with, Midori tells Ash to take Bulbasaur to help it grow beyond just protecting the Pokemon of their hidden village, and waxes lyrical about how everyone there is actually ended their treatments and rehabs long ago... but they just refuse to move on because things are so comfortable, and that Midori notes that they really should return to their homes since it's the best for them. (But... they're abandoned Pokemon. Maybe they just physically can't return home?) The logic is questionable, but the point of the episode isn't about the hidden village, it's about Ash getting Bulbasaur.

    I do really like that Bulbasaur actually refuses to go with Ash, though, and he wants a proper fight to see if Ash is worthy of training/catching him. The battle between Bulbasaur and Pikachu is relatively short, mostly consisting of tackles before we get a vine whip/thunderbolt exchange... but Bulbasaur gets turned into stir-fried salad by that thunderbolt, and Ash captured the Bulbasaur.

    We get a new friend, and one that, like Caterpie before him, gets a full episode to showcase his personality a fair bit as a grumpy protector. And... the episode is all right, I guess? Bulbasaur's personality as the grumpiest onion frog is established pretty well, but I have always felt like the concept of the hidden village was concluded in a genuinely hand-wavey moment -- if anything, Team Rocket's attack should make Midori need a better protector. The whole trap sequence was also obvious filler, and it's not one that would end up being particularly memorable had it not been the acquisition of Bulbasaur.

    Pokemon Index:
    • Pokemon: Pikachu, Oddish, Starmie, Bulbasaur, Butterfree, Meowth, Paras, Weepinbell, Rattata, Caterpie, Staryu, Magikarp
    • Humans: Ash, Misty, Brock, James, Jessie, Midori

    Assorted Notes:
    • It's interesting how catch-crazy Misty is early in this episode, huh? I guess the whole "Gotta Catch 'Em All" motto still sort of applies to most of the cast, even if catching Pokemon is honestly something that doesn't happen very often. 
    • This episode would be the basis of a lady in Pokemon Yellow that gives you a Bulbasaur. This lady (who also appears in the two Let's Go games) lives in Cerulean City, though, not the endless plains between Cerulean and Vermilion. 
    • Absolutely love that line of James commenting on how the build of this pitfall is "exquisite" while the other two members of Team Rocket are complaining that they got trapped. 
    • For once, Pidgeotto does something other than getting his bird ass whupped!
    • Dub Changes:
      • While watching this episode in the dub, James randomly goes into a weird baseball pose as Pidgeotto's gigantic Gust-tornado is formed. In the original Japanese version, James is making a reference to baseball player Hideo Nomo, who is also known by the nickname "Tornado". The dub just ignores this and James just strikes a pose while the banter is replaced with generic grunting. 
      • It's at this point that I realize that Japanese Misty really likes to say "Go, my steady!" when she calls out her Pokemon, which... which I assume is just random English words to sound cool. In the dub, this gets translated into "Misty chooses... [X]!"
      • A couple of the bickering between Ash and Misty are altered. Ash makes a crack on Misty being heavy while on the bridge in the original Japanese version. While they are struggling on the net trap, Misty complains that all this shuffling around will cause Ash to touch her in inappropriate places.

    Saturday, 20 April 2019

    One Piece 939-940 Mini-Review: Haki Punch

    One Piece, Chapter 939: An Old Hyourse Knows the Way; Chapter 940: The Spark of Rebellion


    Been very, very busy for the past week, and I'm honestly considering taking it a bit easy and just... enjoy life, y'know? Which was why I didn't do a review for 939. I'll do a mini-review of the two, though, since I don't really think these chapters give a whole ton to talk about. I'm going to take a brief hiatus from the more time-sensitive stuff like TV episode reviews and manga reviews for a week or two, but updates for things like Pokemon and other articles will continue to go on -- I have a backlog for these sort of days where I just get pretty tired and just need a break. 

    Anyway, 939... it's just a confirmation of the whole Komurasaki/Hiyori theory, which... I guess is the most predictable and bland way you could go around things, especially since the telegraphed "oh, the people she swindled are all evil men that deserve it" twist ends up being done in 940... but I genuinely don't think I actually care either way, y'know? The Wano-kuni people really haven't stuck around long enough for me to go "whoaaaa what a twist" when I really don't super-care about the characters. Komurasaki-Hiyori also ends up being a wee bit more of a kooky character, which... yeah, I guess the alpha bitch thing was just a visage.

    We get a proper headcount of the Nine Red Scabbards -- Kinemon, Kanjurou, Raizou, Kiku, Inuarashi, Nekomamushi, Kawamatsu (who's the kappa in the prison), Ashura Doji (the traitor thief) and "Denjiro".

    What else... we've got the whole bit of a lot of people being rounded up and arrested thanks to the tattoo thing, before we cut to Luffy and Grandpa Hyou basically treating the whole tournament as a bit of a training exercise, which is... all right, whatever. We get some utterly bizarre half-Zoan creatures, which is always fun, but ultimately the fact that this is all happening because Queen is a ditz is honestly a bit weird. Basically Lufy shows off the whole Katakuri style "see into the future" powers, while also trying to use Armament Haki without turning his arm black, something that Rayleight and Sentomaru used in the past... it's a bit of a neat little retcon to some powers where characters seem to raise their hands without any obvious power... it's just super-advanced Haki, I guess. 939 and 940 establish that, of course, Hyou knows exactly how to do this, because just like Skypiea, apparently the people of Wano know all about Haki, they just call it by a different name and focus on a different aspect of it. S'neat, but a bit too contrived for me.

    940 is... a bit more uneven. After establishing that Law has apparently gone off to rescue his teammates, we get some Nami/Usopp comedy bit before a whole lot of generic buildup about Tonoyasu, although, again, things are kept so ambiguous and mysterious that I genuinely can't bring myself to care? He's a nice dude, I guess, and is likely to be Denjirou or the Witching Hour Boy or some shit... but I really don't honestly care? It felt similar to the whole one-legged soldier/Kyros revelation because initially I really didn't give too much of a shit about either one of them. It's part of One Piece's style of introducing a lot of characters and building them up very slowly, but until they actually have more personality and characterization beyond a one-sentence "always laughing, somewhat mysterious" blurb, I really can't bring myself to care.

    Then we return to Luffy learning more Haki skills from Hyou, but even after beating up everyone he still really is unable to master it. Then turns out that Raizou has recruited the completely-unrepentant Caribou... who, as always, Luffy takes at face value and goes "kay you're my buddy now" and I really don't want Caribou to be treated similarly to the likes of the Straw Hat Grand Fleet people. Caribou's not a horrible villain, but he honestly struck me as pretty much irredeemable, and I kinda hope the situation that rises is more of a Caesar Clown one.

    And then Luffy basically decides to rampage in the prison and get allies for the rebellion, just as Big Mom shows up all hungry and Chopper panics.

    Overall... eh? I really am happy that the Wano-kuni arc has really ended up sparking a lot of discussion online, and I suppose the Haki retcon/revelation (depending on how much you put stock in Oda's revelations) is exciting to most, but I genuinely really don't care all that much about the Wano characters is all. We keep getting introduced to so many of them, but so little really have any actual personality to speak of.

    Thursday, 18 April 2019

    Pokemon S01E09 Review: Obligatory High-Class School Episode

    Pokemon 9: Pokemon Victory Manual / The School of Hard Knocks


    Another episode, and the trio is still lost on the way to Vermilion City. We do start off the episode with a pretty pointless but fun scene where Brock pulls out an entire dining set, complete with chairs, table, foreign tea set and even a coffee-maker out of his backpack, totally being a parent to the other two more clueless kids. I do like the hilarious line about Brock telling them that "kids are too young for coffee, drink tea instead".

    This lasts basically just to buy time before Ash gets sent off to gather firewood and meet the character-of-the-week, who is Jun/Joe... who is a member of your typical "highly abusive elitist snobbish school" trope in anime. A member of the prestigious "Pokemon Semi", Jun is being kinda-bullied by his fellow classmates, being forced to jog on a treadmill in the middle of a misty jungle while having to recite facts about Pidgey as a bizarre bit of quiz. All the while, the supposed bullies are holding candles to look extra weird for some reason. It's honestly a bit of surreal scene, and sort of like that random scientist man from the Clefairy episode, this is just kind of absurd.

    Ash and company chase off the snobbish bullies, and Jun tells us some backstory about this super-awesome institute where the super-rich kids can enroll, and apparently they can bypass the eight gyms requirement to go straight to the Pokemon Leagues. Money money, people!

    All while this is going on, Pikachu accidentally finds himself running on the treadmill and falls off it, and oh nooo poor baby

    But apparently, Jun actually knows all the fact about Pidgey, but doesn't want to answer because the 'bullies' will be more strict and ask him even more questions... and then he goes on and says that "papa and mama worked hard to get me here". What the hell, little boy? Be somewhat consistent in your mentality! Do you want to succeed? Or do you just want to slack off? Jun becomes even increasingly unlikable, telling our heroes that he's being bullied particularly by a pretty girl that's also the smartest kid around. After some rather unfortunately lewd comments from Brock and Ash, Misty calls Jun out on carrying around a picture of this girl. Jun brushs it off as "its fine, she's cute"... no.

    We then get a brief bit of Team Rocket looking at the whole conversation before bemoaning that apparently Jessie and James fail to get into this prestigious school, which is a nice bit of backstory, but we never go anywhere with that. No one really acknowledges the whole "money makes this world unfair" theme that we kinda have, either.

    Jun, meanwhile, continues being a twit by showing off this huge row of giant game boys that allows you to play simulations against gym leaders. Despite Ash, Misty and Brock going out of their way to befriend him, Jun is a complete asshole to them, belittling Ash's badges and telling Misty that her gym sucks and he won in simulations multiple times. Because, yeah, playing, like, Tekken or Street Fighter makes me straight-up qualified to talk to a Judo instructor and tell him that he sucks.

    Thankfully, the episode isn't on Jun's side, as he gets essentially humiliated when Misty's nice-girl gloves come off, and she unleashes Starmie on Jun's supposedly-advantageous Weepinbell, and it's a very satisfying one-hit KO. Honestly, we're supposed to feel some sympathy to Jun, especially when resident Alpha Bitch Seiyo shows up to talk shit about Jun... but considering Jun's horrid attitude throughout the episode, the only reason I feel any sympathy to him is because Seiyo one-ups him in being an asshat.

    Seiyo, at least, has the skills to back up her boasts, though, showing that unlike Jun, she at least has the skills to back up her bitchiness. Intentionally using a Pokemon that Misty's Starmie is strong against, Seiyo uses a Rock-type Graveler to throw Starmie out into the pool. Of course, this is apparently a matter of levels, but still. Seiyo is intent on humiliating Misty even further, wanting to fight her in the pool, but Ash steps in. Seiyo does the ohohoho mockery of using facts to act superior over Ash, taunting him for only having three Pokemon, for not taming Pikachu properly, and basically being a bitch.

    ...and for all her smack talk about using a Pokemon Misty is strong against, she uses the Ground-type Cubone against Pikachu, where, once more, electricity has no effect against the Ground-type Cubone. And this whole segment with Pikachu pulling a dumb face and going towards Cubone, only for Seiyo to tell Cubone to "BONE CLUB!" and Cubone whacks Pikachu in the head... that's funny.

    Of course, Ash does the patented Shonen Anime trope of "use your instincts!" and tells Pikachu to just go do wahtever. Pikachu spins Cubone's skull (that's his mother's skull, you dick!) around, blinding Cubone, before biting and scratching him, distracting Cubone long enough for him to be hit by his own Bonemerang. And then Cubone cries, and I honestly feel bad for Cubone. It's not his fault his trainer's a bitch!

    Seiyo and Jun basically hail this whole bit as "oh my god, this isn't in the textbooks, it's incredible!" which honestly reeks of pretty bad anti-intellectualism to me. Like, sure, burying your head in textbooks and not getting practical experience is a bad thing, but being a dunderhead who refuses to train (as established in the previous episode) or learn (as established here) is a pretty shitty role model. I do feel like the conflict this episode is handled a lot better than the previous one, though.

    And then Team Rocket attacks, and gets straight-up immediately chased out by the students doing the 'impulsive' thing of pelting them with empty Poke Balls, which has to be the most demeaning defeat they have. Seiyo and Jun resolve to... quit school and go on a Pokemon adventure? Okay, kind of the wrong moral to take here. I'm also not sure why we get a super-romantic backdrop for them either, especially since Jun is a gigantic creep. Still, a pretty entertaining 'filler' episode... and I'm honestly surprised how much I ended up talking about these filler episodes! Turns out Pokemon is kinda sustainable as an episode-by-episode review.

    Pokemon Index:
    • Pokemon: Pikachu, Pidgey, Pidgeotto, Pidgeot, Meowth, Starmie, Weepinbell, Graveler, Cubone
    • Humans: Misty, Ash, Brock, Jun, James, Jessie, Seiyo
    Assorted Notes: 
    • I've previously not specified which version of the episode title I've used because they've all been the same. This is the first one where the English dub uses a completely unrelated title 
    • The battle simulator is sort of similar to the battle screen in the original games, albeit with more colour.
    • Speaking of the games, Seiyo and Jun recites some facts about Pokemon and their learn-sets based on Pokemon Levels in the game. This is actually one of the rare times that Levels are acknowledged in the anime. According to Seiyo, Pikachu should be Level 25.
    • Apparently it's been two months after Ash left Pallet Town. Like, yeah, that's two months since the show's been airing, but Ash does like very little in the course of sixty days, doesn't he? 
    • Seiyo/Giselle and Jun/Joe make cameos in the anime-based Pokemon Yellow, being a pair of Junior Trainers on Route 6 (which is indeed between Cerulean and Vermilion) with a Cubone and Weepinbell respectively, with Seiyo talking about textbooks and Jun clearly being smitten.
    • Dub Changes:
      • Brock's infinitely more creepy "I'll look forward to her in eight years" comment to Seiyo is changed to the still flirty, but a lot less creepy "she can violate my rights any time" in the English dub. That still-dodgy line would later be cut in some versions of the dub broadcast. 
      • The scene of Misty hitting Brock's head with a log is cut from the dub. 
      • The pretty silly sounding "Pokemon Semi" (short for Seminar) is replaced with the posh-sounding "Pokemon Technical Institute" in the dub.