Game of Thrones S06E06 Review: Coldhands

Game of Thrones, Season 6, Episode 6: Blood of My Blood

This episode's pacing was honestly a bit all over the place, but it's still an entertaining hour and a half nonetheless. The problem, probably, was because there never really was a focal scene that stole everything else. Every single plot of Westeros (save for Castle Black and Winterfell) moved forward a little, and we get payoffs all over... it's just that, well, the pacing wasn't the best that it could've been. That's not to say that it isn't a bad episode, of course -- there's just a lack of cohesion within the episode itself, but as an installment in a season, it's definitely awesome.

We start off where we ended last episode, with Bran and Meera failing to outrun the wights, making Hodor's big sacrifice last week honestly kind of even more of a downer. Meera was basically giving up, while Bran's half-catatonic... and then a Death Knight shows up! Who proceeds to absolutely dismember the wights in the most awesome manner ever, with a cpair of chained flaming sickles. Book-readers might recognize this character as Coldhands, a character cut out of the show (Coldhands would've appeared in season 3 at the very earliest, helping Ginny and Sam escape the White Walkers, and would've helped Team Bran find the Raven's tree). Except while Coldhands' identity is still a mystery even for book-readers, we get instant revelation about his identity here... Benjen Stark!

Who Jon Snow's group marched out of Castle Black to search for back in season one, and ended up being thrown to the wayside when, y'know, the whole army of undead and wildlings became far more important for them to deal with. Benjen tells Bran about his backstory. He was very nearly turned into a wight by a White Walker, but midway through his transformation the Children of the Forest stabbed him with a dragonglass dagger, and magic turned him into, well, what's basically a Death Knight. Benjen recognizes Bran as the new 'Three-Eyed Raven', whatever that actually really means.

Apparently the Raven might've just managed to upload a thousand years' worth of greenseeing into Bran's brain, though, because he sees a gigantic series of flashbacks that had taken place throughout the season. While most of it involves White Walker related scenes, we also get several short one-scene wonder scenes with Aerys Targaryen the Mad King shouting "BURN IT ALL", a vision of dragons flying over King's Landing (which we saw before) and a vision of wildfire blowing up in tunnels, which we definitely haven't seen before. It's implied to be Aerys's master plan which caused Jaime Lannister to become the greatest hero Westeros doesn't know, but is this a portent of things to come?

The most eventful bit in this episode is probably the showdown between the forces of Jaime and the Tyrells against the Faith Militant to rescue Margeary Tyrell. Who, to the disappointment of both the audience in-universe and in real-life, does not get to make her walk of atonement naked through the streets. While we get a pretty awesome moment with Jaime Lannister, Olenna Tyrell, Mace Tyrell and a host of knights besieging the high sept -- Mace's hilariously-goofy speech notwithstanding -- the High Sparrow proves himself to be as shrewd and manipulative as the likes of Littlefinger and Varys. He's apparently succeeded in brainwashing Margeary, who, in turn, manages to rope in King Tommen into entering an alliance with the church.

The jury's still out on whether Margeary was truly broken by the High Sparrow, if she has truly repented... or if she's hatching a long scheme to get both King and Church under her thumb. Margeary seems like a shrewd enough woman to dupe that fuckwad High Sparrow, but on the other hand her long speech about how she cared more for her own image compared to helping the poor really sold me too. I dunno. And the fact that she seemed to have sold Loras out? That doesn't jive with what I would think Margeary would do.

Regardless, Tommen exiles an indignant Jaime Lannister, telling him to head off and be a knight... but not as part of the Kingsguard. Jaime and Cersei have a bit of a discussion, and Cersei seems to want to play the longer game -- despite, y'know, being the one that caused this whole mess in the first place. Jaime brings up the very tantalizing mental image of recruiting Bronn and an army of mercenaries to go all Ezio and murder the High Sparrow, but alas that is not the way we're going to. Oh well. That whole King's Landing business is done and dealt with, and hopefully we can get something more interesting for all the characters involved. 

Speaking of unrest in the kingdom, Jaime is sent to quell the big mess in Riverrun. Apparently, off-screen, Brynden "Blackfish" Tully has taken over Riverrun (not the Skyrim starting town) from the forces of the Freys, and we see two of the Freys -- whichever they are -- reporting to Walder Frey, returning after several seasons' worth of being absent. Walder Frey tells his sons to take over Riverrun with his usual, ahem, encouragement. He's also got a new sex-wife thing, dirty old fucker that he is. 

With Coldhands finally making an appearance despite seemingly being written out, will another character related to that particular locale of Westeros finally be making an appearance? The off-handed mention of the Brotherhood without Banners honestly might be a hint to her appearance. I shan't say any more for spoilery reasons. 

Walder's plan is to shake the Blackfish by showing not only the knives used during the Red Wedding (we get an off-handed mention that, yeah, Blackfish just escaped off-screen)... as well as Edmure Tully, who has been prisoner to the Freys all this while. That would be interesting. 

Meanwhile, we finally get some progress on Arya's front. We see a bit more of the stage version of the Game of Thrones, and Arya seemed to swallow her morality and poison Lady Crane's drink, with the Sansa-actress being quite obviously ready and hoping to take over... right up until Lady Crane stops Arya dead in her tracks. She seemed to be just a pleasant lady who wants to talk about how she, too, used to sneak into the actors' dressing rooms and how she really could've improved on the script, and she asks Arya an armour-piercing question: "do you like pretending to be someone else?" For a moment, I thought Lady Crane was actually a Faceless Man, until, nah, that's just conveniently the very question that Arya needed to hear. 

Arya ends up reneging on the Faceless Man's ideals, saving Lady Crane from being poisoned, and throwing away her third chance, and regaining the identity of Arya Stark, with the awesome moment when she finally dug Needle out from where she hid it in a pile of rocks. Arya Stark is back, and has definitely regained what she lost when she fell down the dark path of being an assassin. Her little speech about wanting to 'get back and those who took her family from her' is an awesome bit as well, probably applying more to Arya's state of mind than it does for actor-Cersei's. 

Of course, the Waif is now sent off to murder Arya... and honestly, my money's totally on Arya Stark now. The question, really, is what "Jaqen" will do, and whether all this is a cleverly planned screenplay courtesy of the Faceless Men themselves.

We get a long, extensive sequence as Sam and Ginny return to the Tarly homestead, which is quite impressive! We meet Sam's douchewad of a father, Randyll Tarly. Who's just a hugely dismissive fucker, marrying off Sam's sister to someone she clearly doesn't like, a gigantic dick to Sam and when he finds out that the woman who 'seduced' his son is a 'wildling whore', goes off into a big rant about what a piece of shit Sam is. He's decent enough to oblige to keep Ginny around as a servant and raise the 'bastard' Little Sam, though this really seemed to be to win favour with his wife more than anything else.

Honestly, it's horrible and all, but really the only smart thing for Ginny to do is to just play along, no matter how horrible Randyll's insults to Sam are. It just seems too ridiculously naive for her to go 'I can't believe bad things happen to good people!' when this is, y'know, season fucking six of this series. It ends up with Sam deciding to bring Ginny and Little Sam along, and steal the family sword Heartsbane, his legacy that was denied to him, though, so good for him! Hopefully Sam gets to stab Randyll through the heart with it. 

I just wished it took a lot less screentime, because, y'know, I still don't care that much about Sam and Ginny.

Meanwhile, in the Dothraki desert, Daenerys decides to bugger off for a minute or two, and returns with Drogon. And, yes, it's majestic as all fuck, and very much an impressive 'cheer for the Khaleesi' moment, but it feels very anticlimatic considering Daenerys's previous attempts to cooperate and tame Drogon ended up with Drogon throwing a tantrum and going to sleep and causing Daenerys to be captured by the Khalasar. I dunno, showing us a scene of Daenerys actually taming Drogon again really would've made this scene a lot better instead of just 'LOOK DRAGONS'. It's a great speech from Daenerys... though honestly I groaned a little at the way-too-obvious "I need ships! A thousand ships!" right after last episode had Euron Greyjoy say that he wants to give Daenerys a thousand ships to get in her good favour. 

With Bran's speech, though, having Daenerys march on King's Landing with an army of Dothraki, Second Sons and Unsullied, plus three dragons, an imp and an eunuch, would definitely be possible in the near future. Of course, we still have to find out which Greyjoy Daenerys finds herself allying with. 

The Flash S02E23 Review: The Twist That Came A Mile Away

The Flash, Season 2, Episode 23: The Race of His Life

Yeah, that's honestly an underwhelming finale, really, so much that I didn't feel like writing the review until like two weeks after the fact. The big fight against Zoom had a couple of cool scenes, but ultimately half the episode was spent having to set up the ridiculous premise that the two had to race to save the world. I really don't buy the 'you're angry, stay put' justification for the rest of the team to lock Barry in a cage and decide to go after Zoom themselves.

Really, why not repeat the same thing they did last episode? And honestly, is the population of Earth-2 so disposable that they can live with themselves throwing Zoom back there where he, no doubt, will terrorize the population as bad or even worse than he did on Earth-1? It's just such a moronic moment, and the fact that Zoom just doesn't kill Joe because of plot armour ends up being dumb. Zoom's big plan to create a chain reaction to destroy the Infinite Earths also ends up being whatever, and maybe it'll sound impressive if we actually got to know this like last episode or the episode before that, but when the show fails to make me care for Earth-2, which has characters we know on it... hell, the characters in the show don't even care for Earth-2, multiplying it by infinity just doesn't get me invested more.

Oh, and there's the big chase fight with time remnants that doesn't make sense but look cool, and some zappy-zap and speedy-speed moments. Can't fault the action standpoint of the episode, of course, which looks better than any Flash/Zoom fight before. But ultimately it felt quite cathartic, and only forced to end with Zoom being captured by the Time Wraiths (and probably turned into the Black Flash) because, hey, it's the last episode of the series.

Oh, like everyone guessed, the Man in the Iron Mask is Henry Allen. Except, wait, he's also Jay Garrick, he just has Henry's face. He's also the Flash. Of Earth-3. Yeah. I would've rather they not went with the 'Zoom is Jay but not really' twist and make something more sensible. Oh well, hopefully Jay will have a better showing next season.

And then, at the end of this episode, Barry decides to run all the way back to the moment when Eobard Thawne is about to kill Nora Allen, and rescue his mother, thus wiping out the entire reason why season one's ending is so good, wiping out season one's time-travelling Barry Allen, and wiping out the timeline for a mini-Flashpoint event. Of course, even if this is going to stick (Spoiler: it's not) I'm definitely not looking forward for a huge chunk of season three to just show how, oh, Cisco and Caitlin and Iris and Joe aren't nice to Barry because the events that happened didn't happen the way they did.

Overall it's as much as I expected. Messy and really only there to set up Season Three. Zoom is utterly ineffective as a villain, the Iron Mask Man twist ends up being just exactly as everyone predicted... why couldn't we have sprung RealJay last episode, so we actually have a reason to care about him, and have this episode be a big climatic showdown between Jay, Barry and Zoom? Bah. So much in this season has been kinda poorly executed, and this finale is definitely one of them. 

Game of Thrones S06E05 Review: Total Party Kill

Game of Thrones, Season 6, Episode 5: The Door

Damn, before I watch the new episode, let's talk about this one first. It's... a very good episode, as all Game of Thrones episodes are wont, but that ending! I've grown sort of immune to characters dying in these kind of works of fiction with a high body count, but sometimes it's a special kind of death -- or a series of deaths -- to really jolt you back into attention. And, well, considering the massive fan reaction that this episode brought out, well, it certainly did its job pretty well.

Let's keep that spoiler death until the end so people don't accidentally spoil themselves. I'm absolutely lucky to not have the ending spoiled for me, but it would be totally shitty if you did get it spoiled for you. And if you did get spoiled, it's not going to be from this review, no sir.

Now we go back and forth between several locales, of course. The Castle Black scenes are pretty cool, even if nothing ultimately happened. Sansa Stark finally gets a couple of great scenes as we address the emotional and mental wounds that Ramsay's rape had done to her -- something that last season received justifiable criticism for. Sansa addressing these injuries without breaking down doesn't make them any less horrible, and her confronting Littlefinger who just wants to get back to her good graces is pretty awesome. On one hand, yes, as Brienne points out -- those are the Knights of the Vale, very needed manpower in their fight against the Boltons. On the other hand... when has trusting Littlefinger has ever led well to anybody? Ask Sansa. Or Ned.

It's a pretty awesome line, too. "If you knew, you're my enemy. If you didn't know, you're an idiot."

Of course, even when he's told to fuck off (and he has the decency to look sorry about it, at least) Littlefinger isn't content with just walking off. He plants some doubts in Sansa about Jon, which manifests in two ways -- Sansa pointing out that Jon isn't a trueblooded heir of the Starks in their little strategy meeting, and, as called out by Brienne, the fact that Sansa hid from Jon the information about how she knew about the Blackfish amassing Tully forces. On the other hand, though, Sansa's vote for confidence about Jon, consistently calling him 'my brother' instead of half-brother, and creating a new Ned-Stark-inspired armour for both of them, points the other way. Ah, Sansa, you wonderfully complex character. You've grown a fair bit ever since you were a two-dimensional whiny bitch, yeah?

Oh, and Tormund and Brienne are just easily the most hilarious scenes in the season, and they probably only take three seconds each.

Meanwhile, in Braavos, Arya is sent by "Jaqen H'ghar" to kill a target, a woman that plays Cersei in a local play (that adapts the events of Season One in a very Targaryen/Baratheon-favoured manner), for no real reason. This ain't Assassin's Creed, Arya! She's smart enough to figure out that the younger actress playing Sansa is probably the one that ordered the hit, but "Jaqen" gives no shits, telling Arya that it's the last chance that the Many-Faced God will give her. It's a nice little scene, even if it went too long, to see how the winners write the history. It's a plot element that always appeals, and definitely one that serves as a great reminder how ultimately unsung the deeds of heroic characters like Ned Stark and Tyrion Lannister are, still being vilified in the eyes of the public.

One of the more interesting scenes this episode is the one set in the Iron Islands, as the Kingsmoot begins. Yara's speech get lambasted by people who are all 'we want a king, not a queen', and Theon Greyjoy steps up to the plate, and gives a rousing speech about how Yara Greyjoy is a true Ironborn, and the only real candidate. Right up until Euron shows up, and does not hide the fact that he killed Balon -- citing Balon's rule as weak and inefficient. Also makes fun of Theon's cocklessness.

Euron, though, has an actual plan beyond Yara and Theon's "let's make big ships and stabilize!" Euron wants to make a big fleet too, but instead of just hoping that they can make do, Euron wants to throw in with Daenerys Targaryen and her army of freed slaves, mercenaries and dragons. Oh, Euron also wants to marry Daenerys, but his plan seemed to be more centered in siding with the winners. It's honestly a lot better than Theon and Yara's plan, and really the only reason why we're not siding with the more sensible Euron is that he's a crazy motherfucker whose first rule as king is to declare a manhunt to kill his niece and nephew with the most gleeful tone ever.

Of course, while we get a nice little atmospheric moment of Euron's crowning (which involves the dude getting drowned and having to cough his way to life) with a very awesome narration of the Greyjoy motto ("what is drowned may never die" is probably the most awesome line in the entire series) and the shittiest crown in the world... it also took enough time for Yara and Theon to round up their loyalists... and make away with the entire fleet. Apparently Theon and Yara's speech struck a chord with enough Ironborn. Of course, whether Theon and Yara are planning on reaching Daenerys first, or if they're going to throw their lot in with someone else, we have no idea.

Euron, meanwhile, just demands everyone work to the bone to make even more ships.

In Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys has her new big-ass army even without the Ironborn. Her scenes mostly involve forgiving Jorah, the revelation about his disease, and telling him to go and find a cure and return to her. It's nice and heartwarming, but ultimately with so much going on, having Jorah set off on his own isn't exactly the most exciting thing out there.

In Mereen, Tyrion and Varys decides to consult a priestess of R'hllor, Kinvara. Who also wears the same necklace as Melisandre, so she's probably secretly an old lady too. Kinvara shares Melisandre's penchant for mysticism, talking about how she saw Tyrion back when he's looking at a different red priestess, and generally being evasive and blaming all of R'hllor's mistakes on humans who aren't competent enough. Tyrion just wants a powerful Daenerys-associated figure to pin all the nice stability on, and Kinvara is happy to declare Daenerys Dragonqueen as the anointed one of the Sun God.

Varys... isn't happy. He gives some pretty harsh criticism about religion and being a fanatic and absolving themselves of all fault, right up until Kinvara gets into Varys's face and asks him if he needed to be reminded that the mysticism is real -- like the voice that spoke when the necromancer burnt little Varys's, well, Little Varys. Poor Varys just looks so stumped and scared! Man, I wonder if the burning of Varys's penis is going to actually be relevant instead of just character background for our favourite Spidery eunuch.

And we finally get to that last scene in the episode, the one that most likely defines what anyone is going to talk about for the next week or two. The scene at the old weirwood with Bran, the Three-Eyed Raven, Hodor, Meera, Summer and the Children of the Forest. The roll-call is quite necessary considering what happens next. It starts off innocent enough as we seem to get yet another cryptic backstory flashback lesson courtesy of Bran and the Raven, as we see not the thrice-damned Tower of Joy, but far before that, as we get the unexpected origin story of the White Walkers. The Children of the Forest, apparently, during their ancient war against the humans, used a dragonglass dagger and some weird ritual to transform a human into a White Walker.

And not just any White Walker! The Night's King himself. Whether they were just being assholes or if it was a true necessity for that time, it's hard to say, but whatever they did, it had ramifications even until now. It's a strange and sudden bit of information they're giving us, and we also find a couple of additional tidbits as well. The strange stone/corpse formations associated with White Walker sightings throughout the previous five seasons are near-identical to the rituals done by the Children of the Forest to create White Walkers, and the weirwood tree that the Children of the Forest used to create the Night's King... was the very weirwood that the Raven was rooted to.

It's all a bit mysterious and whatnot, and Bran, total idiot that he is, tries to go green-see on his own. Because, well, while his flashbacks haven't exactly been totally informative in telling us just what our heroes need to do to defeat the giant zombie wight army, it's not like Bran's in a real hurry. And, well, after a really chilling moment as Bran walks through the entire forces of the Undead Scourge, he comes face-to-face with the Night's King himself. Who apparently can see Bran despite him just technically being a phantom or a vision or a whatever.

The Night's King apparently 'marks' Bran through the dreams, which allows the White Walkers to bypass the magic leafy charms they used to repel the White Walkers. Which... I honestly hoped that there was at least a hint or foreshadowing about, but it's not the craziest asspull out there. In any case, the White Walkers' army gives no time for our heroes to plan, and it's all because Bran can't be patient at all because a bunch of immortals who had waited for Bran for thousands of years ended up giving their life just to protect the 'Chosen One'... who, unlike Luke Skywalker or Frodo Baggins (or even Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen), hasn't exactly proven his worth in why, exactly, he is the one that should be ultra plot-relevant.

The White Walker army are awesome, from the White Walker generals being mounted on undead horses all four horsemen of the Apocalypse like, to the shambling abandon of the undead as they charge and get blown up by the Children of the Forest's awesome seed bombs that look absolutely impressive. (Also, insert obligatory Plants-vs-Zombies joke here). It's a great moment as one by one the nameless Children get slain by the White Walkers, while the lesser undead hordes just circumvent the whole 'holy ring of anti-undead' thing and just swarm the roof and sides of the little underground cave and just tear it apart.

Leaf, the only Children of the Forest to even get a name, ends up kamikaze-ing herself, allowing the wights to swarm over her and as she gets stabbed all over she blows up the last seed bomb. Summer does a stupid kamikaze charge as well, charging into the undead hordes all heroically before being subjected to the most humiliating fate as he gets whacked down to nothing while yelping quite pathetically. Man, those direwolves can't catch a break.

Meera manages to murder one of the White Walker generals with a dragonglass spear, making her only the third person after Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly to murder a White Walker, which is awesome. She's also the only non-Bran character to survive through all this.

While everything is going to hell, Bran and the Raven are, inexplicably, seeing young Ned Stark go off away from Winterfell, which is the least plot-relevant flashback they really could've chosen. The Raven might've been uploading (for lack of a better term) all his knowledge to Bran's brain or some shit, but it's not really clear why they aren't just getting the hell out of dodge at that point. Well, the Raven's physical body ends up being killed and his dream self explodes into smoke. Bran went into a semi-coma.

And something absolutely bizarre yet still quite sensible happens. In the present, Hodor is holding off the only door separating Bran and Meera from being reduced to two tiny parts of the White Walker's undead Scourge. In the dream-world that sees into the past, Bran is witnessing... young Hodor, before his brain broke. And as Bran wargs into Hodor in the present while his... spirit... is greenseeing or timeseeing or whatever, apparently Bran can influence things in the past, even if it's only to create a stable time loop.

Yeah, 'Hodor' is apparently short for 'hold the door', which was somehow transferred from the present day all the way to the Hodor of the past, absolutely frying the poor kid's brain in the past... meaning that despite all our curiousity about the Origin of Hodor, it's a far more tragic story than we thought as something beyond the control of Bran (well, other than him being an idiot and greenseeing without supervision) happens. His warging and self-preservation attempts causes Past!Wyllis to become, well, Hodor, meaning that his entire life has been nothing but to lead him to hold this one door, to perform a noble sacrifice, and there really isn't anything anyone can do about it. Hodor holds the door in a way that would make Gandalf the Grey proud, and gets claws to death while Meera and Bran make their safety.

Is it... worth it, in the end? I certainly would rather have an immortal quasi-human with memories of a thousand years connected to every weirwood in the North, an army of immortal Children of the Forest armed with flaming seeds, a direwolf and a giant of a man as opposed to, well, Meera and Bran, who really don't matter much. And, goddamn it, Hodor's death is as sad as fuck!

It's a very emotional moment, a very touching moment, and honestly it made me a little angry too that Bran has possibly fucked up the most likely venture to stop the White Walkers just because he's a bit antsy about his time-travel powers. A very powerful scene as it mixes tension, action, drama and tears in ways that a good death scene is supposed to do. And, well, even if you might expect Hodor's death this episode (I certainly didn't) who would've thought that it would be this sad?

Hold The Door.

One Piece 827 Review: Wonderland

One Piece, Chapter 827: Totland

More world-building fluff, though it still is a pretty entertaining chapter. Basically, Pekoms pretends to have captured the Straw Hats' ship so the whole group can land at one of Big Mom's mini-island things. We get a bit of Pekoms explaining how Big Mom's empire stretches out in a series of smaller islands around Whole Cake Island, with each island apparently ruled by a chancellor of a certain sweet. The whole thing is called Totland. And, well, they find themselves in a city made entirely out of chocolate. Naturally, Luffy (and Chopper) eats... an entire cafe. They are nearly arrested, but ends up being bailed out by Pudding, who pretends that Luffy and Chopper were demolitionists instead of some random dudes that ate an entire cafe... and, well, apparently that's just how things roll in chocolate town. She's happy that Luffy and Chopper loved the chocolate house she made so much and all. Man, how can she not be perfect for Sanji? She's even a cook!

Pudding's accompanied by Nitro the Jell-o, a little blob that's apparently the owner of the shop, and Labiyan the flying carpet with a face. That's just a bunch of little fun fluff to set up this new location.

Apparently there are all sorts of races in Totland, including Minks (not quite sure if Nitro the Jell-o and Labiyan are new races or just people with Devil Fruits), one of which recognizes Pedro. Pedro tells the random fanboy to keep things quiet from 'the others'... so apparently Pedro isn't entirely an isolationist. Hmm, interesting. He goes all 'I'll tell you guys later' when questioned by Nami, so maybe Pedro might be involved with the Big Mom Pirates too?

There's, of course, the whole Wonderland vibe going on with the Totland sceneries, which has been a theme throughout the couple of times that we saw Big Mom's people. We see singing flowers and talking furnitures straight out of a Disney acid sequence... are these created by Big Mom's powers? We get a short little music number, and apparently Big Mom's people are butchering entire armies just to get ingredients for the Tea Party. Eggs! Flour! Fruits! Never has a shopping list been so bloody. We get our first full body shot of Big Mom and while the scene is fully fun with singing rainbows, clouds and trees and really the only horrible thing being the gonky Big Mom, the lines throw in stuff like "we'll use someone's blood!" and "tea party from the bowels of hell!" Oh, and Big Mom knows that Straw Hat has arrived...

Yeah, looking forward to how things will unfold, though I guarantee we'll get a couple of chapters just exploring Totland a bit. 

The Flash S02E22 Review: Flash vs Metahuman Army... sorta.

The Flash, Season 2, Episode 22: Invincible

Oh, so that's why they showed all the Barry moving on from his mother last episode. Because Zoom comes in to kill Henry Allen to give Barry that anguish-filled power-up. It would have been a lot more dramatic if Zoom has actually had his comic-book-counterpart's obsession of making the Flash experience personal tragedy, but CW's Zoom has none of that. It would've been a lot more dramatic if Barry had actually, y'know, been struggling with moving on from his mother, like I said last review. But, hey, there are some nice things about this episode. Kind of. I really wished it aired, like, not as the penultimate episode of the season, because as far as it goes, it's pretty underwhelming. 

Yeah, we get a large army of metahumans fighting the police force at the beginning, and it was pretty awesome! A bunch of Hawk-people, a dude that shoots flames, a dude that turns into mist, a dude that shoots lightning... Singh and Joe pinned down... and then Barry just one-shots all of them in like two seconds. I mean, yes, there's that one dude that Wally ran over after he stole some random woman's bag, but overall Zoom's big metahuman army felt pretty m'eh.

The main villain episode of this episode is Black Siren, Laurel Lance's Earth-2 doppelganger, which is a fun, hammy villain with the ability to scream so loud it can collapse a building, but ultimately Black Siren ends up being nothing but a filler. She's fun to have around, questioning Zoom, and Caitlin and Cisco dressing up as their Earth-2 counterparts and Cisco finally learning some Vibe-shockwave powers is cool, but ultimately it felt really fillery as Barry zooming around the city to send every metahuman into a dizzy loop felt way too easy and convenient of a way to deal with an offscreen crisis. 

I wouldn't mind the episode focusing only on a villain or two, since budget reasons and all, but last season's penultimate episode was a Justice League versus Reverse-Flash battle, and the two episodes that built up to that starred Gorilla Grodd and the Rogues respectively. Here? We have a trio of episodes starring Rupture, Zombie Girder and Black Siren, which all embody underwhelming filler supervillains. Maybe the show really should've kept Killer Frost and Reverb around so they can be the pre-final minibosses. And really, there was no reason for Zoom to just stand there lurking and watching Barry beat up his metahuman army other than WAIT FOR THE FINALE DAMN IT.

There were some subplots running through it, subplots that really should've played out in an earlier episode or throughout the season with Barry Allen suddenly being cocky as fuck thanks to random Speed Force revelations, and him randomly mouthing off to Henry for utterly unjustifiable reasons. There was Joe trying to get Flash to try and stop Wally from being a glory-hound intend on making good of his 'second chance' promise... why not bring Wally into the fold and have him be part of the Team Flash in STAR Labs? Dr McGee returns after like a season-long absence, and she apparently knows of Barry's identity... but not even that can really inject an iota of interest into this episode. 

Barry's character development throughout this episode really felt randomly forced upon him. And seriously, you would think Zoom would come in and actually, y'know, attack Barry and put a stop to his overconfidence. But, nah, let Black Siren go around blowing up buildings for no good reason. And the random character buildup seems to try to get Barry into racking up as much guilt as possible before Henry Allen died... and really, with the chemistry behind Barry and Henry that we already had throughout all their previous interactions, you didn't really need it. The random argument felt forced and really only served to telegraph that Henry Allen's only back to die. Barry being astoundingly arrogant initially seemed to be played up to him knowing something about the Speed Force that none of us knew, but after so many humbling lessons throughout his journey throughout two seasons, it turns out that, hey, an apple is just an apple, and Barry is just that cocksure.

Though it is cool to finally have him behave like a mature superhero who isn't wishy-washy and asks every other member of the cast for opinions for every crisis. Doesn't really excuse him being kind of a dick to Henry, but hey. 

Of course, it's also kind of painfully obvious that either or both the Man in the Iron Mask or the real Jay Garrick is Earth-2 Henry Allen, and that would have me ramble off into a long, long rant in how the show underutilized Jay Garrick as a mentor or a double-agent figure and how this season's overall plotting is utterly messy. 

Oh, and Cisco vibes that Earth-2 is being torn apart by giant rifts. I'm not sure I care that much at all about Earth-2, considering we know scant little about the characters there, and hell, even our heroes don't seem to particularly care what's going on in Earth-2, happy to lob Zoom and Grodd there and just close the rift and say 'fuck you'. Oh, and Wally knows Barry's identity. I don't care. 

So, yeah. The big Metapocalypse ended up amounting to nothing -- we really could've had a couple more random set pieces being trashed or news reports of even more metahumans trashing other places instead of that one group Barry cleared and that one pickpocketer. Black Siren was fun but ultimately kind of meaningless and random, Barry's overconfidence is kind of shit and, well, I don't really see how the final episode can salvage this mess of a season. And Flash's first season was actually so good, too! This? This is just messy. I mean, it's not entirely unwatchable, but damn if it isn't pulled in all directions at once. 

DC Easter Eggs:

• There's enough of this that I would rather talk about, which is kind of testament to how much this episode failed to hold my attention. Black Siren is not from DC Comics per se, but rather from the DC Animated Universe. She was an evil Black Canary doppelganger there, too, but to my knowledge Black Siren hadn't made the jump from cartoon to comic the way that other characters like Harley Quinn had. 
• Iris quotes 'in blackest night', which, naturally, is a nod to the phrase in the Green Lantern oath.
• While a lot of the villains seem to just be generic ones with generic powers (you could easily make an argument that Green-Flame dude was a Green Lantern or Blight or Dr Phosphorus or a genderswapped Starfire), at least a pair of winged metahumans flew over the streets, which may or may not be Earth-2 versions of Hawkman and Hawkgirl. I don't care enough either way. 
• Henry (who played Barry in the 90's series) and dr. McGee kind of strike it up a bit before Zoom zooms him, which is a reference to how in the 90's series Barry Allen and McGee had a romance going on. 
• The idea of a Dimensional Tuning Fork is a plot point in the Crisis on Infinite Earths and Infinite Crisis mega-storylines in the comics, though they functioned quite differently than how this show used them.
• Reverb was actually left-handed in his short-lived appearance! Now if the show actually paid this much attention to detail in, y'know, the actual story...

Agents of SHIELD S03E22 Review: Skye versus Grant

Agents of SHIELD, Season 3, Episode 22: Ascension

Throughout this episode, there's a sense of 'WHO GON DIE' which really kinda felt annoying. From the cross being tossed from one person to the next from Elena to Mack to Fitz to Skye to Lincoln, to Elena getting shot in the gut, to Fitz being confronted one-on-one with Giyera, it really was a bit annoying. We all know there was going to be one death (plus most likely Hive) but telegraphing so loudly that there's only going to be a single death among the good guys felt really poorly handled. That's not to say that it isn't a great finale, though.

Granted, when it's finally clear that Lincoln snuck aboard that ship and (somehow non-lethally) knocked Skye out of it, bringing the ship with only him and Hive inside it, we know what was going to happen. Lincoln honestly is still not quite enough of a character for his death to really mean that much or even to deserve such a long farewell, and the ripoff of the Steve/Peggy goodbye scene in Captain America: The First Avenger really felt a bit iffy. Regardless, it went quickly from a basic screamcryfest to something more poignant and poetic when Hive actually opens his mouth to accept death and finally has a bit of a nice, final conversation with Lincoln.

The two enemies just calmly talk with each other, embracing their fate, knowing that there is no escape, being at peace, is a beautiful scene. Hive's been a very interesting villain and his unique viewpoint on the world makes him a pretty fun one. And, yes, while his existence is a transparent ploy to keep Brett Dalton, Ward's actor, in the show, it's a great farewell to the character, with last episode's flashbacks to Grant Ward giving us a moment to appreciate the oddly complex Grant Ward before all traces of him is obliterated when the ship goes boom. What an ending! Definitely a nice, different moment compared to having the villain just die in a big superhero shootout.

The events leading to it were a lot more cooler, though, starting off almost immediately with Skye fighting against the thing with Grant Ward's face. Quake versus Hive. It was a great fighting scene that used some great effects with Skye's shockwaves and a lot of great kung fu moves. It's a confrontation we had three seasons of buildup to, and while this isn't quite exactly Grant Ward himself, the history between both of them is deep enough you can't not be excited seeing them have their final superhero showdown.

There was that whole zombie fog apocalypse going on in the SHIELD base, with some really, really fun moments courtesy of dr Radcliffe, evidently filling the comedy-shaped hole that Hunter left gaping in his wake. From him walking around aimlessly, to 'science hunch', to geeking out over Coulson's robot arm in the middle of the zombie apocalypse, to just being such a wonderful source of comedy, Radcliffe is a more than welcome addition to the cast.

We also get Elena taking a couple of bullets in the gut to save Mack. She doesn't die, despite having death flags all over her head ever since we first saw her, but we were kinda subjected to a painful scene of torchblowing her wounds. That... isn't exactly healthy.

And while it was a bit annoying that Skye skulked in her cell until May brought Andrew up, it ended up giving Fitz a really cool scene as he bluffed Giyera, before going on about "you were already a murderous wank before all that" and shooting Giyera with an invisible gun. That was as badass as killing Gordon last season, and I think that's going to be Fitz's thing from now on. Kill the second-in-command badass villain mook at the finale. That's not really a shameful way to go out, though, Giyera. You're an underrated villain and I really like you.

We get a bit of a fight between Hellfire and Lincoln, and while Hellfire seems to have been merely knocked out, the episode doesn't exactly give us any real details about his ultimate fate. There was a long, extended and annoying moment between Skye and the wounded Lincoln. Which was, y'know, annoying. There was that hilarious hologram sequence with Coulson and Hive (which was a trick he borrowed from Blake, and actually one he and Hunter used against TrueSHIELD in season 2), and while we don't see Hive's true tentacly face for too long, it does look realistic enough to not be obviously CGI. It does look like it belongs in the cast of the next Star Wars movie, which I think is a compliment.

There was a great moment as the entire Agents of SHIELD cast engaged in a full-out battle against the Primitive army, with even Simmons and Fitz getting physical. Mack gets a proper shotgun-axe! We did gloss over the fact that all of these used to be SHIELD agents until recently, but the horrifying 'there's nothing you can do for them anymore!' scenes with Fitz in the hangar last episode was kinda sufficient, so I don't particularly mind.

After Lincoln and Hive's death, we flash forward a couple of months... to a point where Coulson and Mack are operating under the orders of a new director, hunting down an earthquake-creating vigilante... called Quake. Finally! Now obviously Skye didn't just went off and go evil thanks to grief, despite the expository image change, but she's definitely turned into a vigilante more concerned about helping out people in ways she thinks is right. We see her help out the family of that hobo prophet Inhuman, before using her quake-generating abilities to hop into the air and onto the roof of a building to evade pursuit. Also, Radcliffe is apparently on good terms with FitzSimmons and is building EDI AIDA. What this means for the future of the show is uncertain, but damned if I'm not excited.

A great finale. Could've stood to have less Lincoln/Skye romancy moments in it, but hey. Definitely looking forward to season four. 

Agents of SHIELD S03E21 Review: Playing It Like Pokemon

Agents of SHIELD, Season 3, Episode 21: Absolution

Well, let's talk about Agents of SHIELD. After ranting a fair bit about how Legends of Tomorrow and The Flash handled their respective finales, Agents of SHIELD soared from a great series of winner episodes into an awesome two-parter finale. Which I'll cover separately so I can give each episode the time it deserves. Granted, it's not entirely unproblematic, since a good chunk of this episode and the next was spun around the fact that Skye spends so much of it in a guilt-induced self-loathing, and so much of the tension spun on who's holding Elena's cross necklace of doom as it is passed from one person to the next. To have an in medias res scene to foreshadow an important death is one thing, but to have it be a game of hot potatoes is nothing short of irritating.

Those are relatively minor quibbles, though. We did foreshadow some side-effects and withdrawal, and while we don't see Skye actively killing or maiming anyone -- despite the painful-sounding crack of his ribs, Mack is entirely fine here -- she did just betray all her friends and tried to kill them, and gave all their information to Hive. And considering how Hive's mind control is more of an amplification of one's basest desires, it certainly would probably fee like Skye is in control and not in control at the same time. Skye got some pretty nice moments, her strained conversations with Simmons and Coulson showing that despite all parties knowing full well that Skye was mind-controlled, things probably won't be the same ever. And Mack going in and giving Skye a shoulder to cry on is a very awesome and emotional moment in a way that, hey, didn't have to involve shipping!

Meanwhile, Lincoln decides that he wants to leave SHIELD after this one last rodeo, which honestly fell really flat. Lincoln's big moment last episode really didn't work to flesh his character out, and so far all we had from him are just a couple of lines of backstory. Yes, Coulson acknowledges that he would make a good agent, but honestly other than having Electricity Dude on their side, who cares? Not me, that's who. I'm sorry, I just can't bring myself to care for Lincoln.

As far as the episode's plot to take down Hive and stop him from launching a nuke (not all to dissimilar from his all-caps namesake over in Arrow), it's pretty standard, exciting stuff. We did get a random fake-out of Skye and Coulson on the planet Maveth which seemed to be a flash-forward or something like that, but apparently it's a nightmare. Okaaaay, was that entirely necessary? We get a couple of fun moments with Fitz and Talbot entering an unlikely partnership as they try to get their hands on the activation codes with some motion-capture hijinks.

There was definitely a tense bit as Elena and Lincoln (Joey's absent throughout all this) donned suicide bomb neck-rings, and as the hit squad of Elena, Lincoln, Mack and May infiltrate and shut down Hive's electronics, when Hive decides to spread out and unleash his vengeance there definitely was a palpable sense of danger. But no, everyone turned out to get out okay in the end, and Lincoln manages to channel his lightning powers into a contraption built by Mack and Elena and fry Hive's brain. Again, it's not like Lincoln doesn't get shafted entirely, but it's that he's more of a plot device than a character. Not even Hive-Ward trying to taunt him by bringing up the fact that he's an inadequate provider of love and care for Skye really meant anything for him, really.

We get a pretty awesome sequence as Hive moves between the different people we know he's consumed over the years from Grant Ward to Nathaniel Malick to Will, and it's a nice series of callbacks to a lot of great Ward scenes from the past, and just what Hive will do when Giyera and Hellfire catch up to him is tense in itself as he's just muttering about quotes gone by.

Meanwhile, dr Radcliffe is still comedy gold as he begs Hive to understand that, hey, a biogenetic engineer isn't the same as a rocket scientist, and he just brightens up every scene he is in. From trying to interact and beg for the Primitives to help him out, to him just going 'oh are you SHIELD thank god save me' when May shows up is comedy gold. And him just going 'woo!' as SHIELD's giant gel-cage comes down and traps Hive like a Pokemon.

It's a great show for all members of SHIELD involved, a great series of moments for and, Hive and Radcliffe, and while the Primitives still look like cosplayers of X-Men Origins' stitch-mouth Deadpool, the presence of Hive himself is scary enough, especially for the more disposable Inhumans, that the characters still feel pretty threatened.

There's a bit of a wind-down, We did get a couple of moments of fun scenes with Radcliffe having all sorts of respect for Talbot's mustache and that short, sweet moment of Fitz and Simmons planning a holiday!

Of course, it's obvious that since this isn't the final episode and it's too late in the game to introduce a new main villain, Hive won't go down that easily. After a bit of a harrowing moment where Hive unleashed the Inhuman gas and transformed a bunch of Z-lister SHIELD agents (O'Brien apparently showed up a fair amount of times before!), Fitz managed to hold his own, panic considering, and escape the gas zombie apocalypse. Hive is still loose, though.

The weakest point of the episode, I think, is probably Skye breaking loose from her prison easily, finding Hive and... begging him to take her back, only for Hive to discover that, hey, he can't, thanks to... reasons. Lash reasons. It's a bit eyeball-rolling, but the addiction to Hive's control has been foreshadowed, and it's a bit of a nice (if dark) subversion to the expected development of Skye just wanting to go 1v1 with Hive. Which will still happen regardless. I just wished they went with addiction or guilt and stick with one or the other instead of flip-flopping for no real good reason.

Overall it's a great buildup to the finale, or rather, the first part of the finale, as the stakes are high and everyone is facing off against Hive or the Primitives. Oh well. Will see you guys in the next review. 

Game of Thrones S06E04 Review: The Stark Offensive

Game of Thrones, Season 6, Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

I forgot to watch Game of Thrones last week! It's a pretty good episode once more, as we develop the various characters a bit more. The episode starts off with the big elephant in the room people were talking about when Jon Snow decides to abandon the Night's Watch last episode. With Jon apparently leaving Castle Black, will it be yet another reason why two Starks will miss each other in the nick of time? Well, as it turns out, Sansa is a lot luckier than Arya, and shows up before Jon left. It was a great, really emotional moment without words as the two just stared at each other before hugging, finally two members of the broken-apart Stark family reunited with each other. No, neither Sansa nor Jon had a proper scene with each other at all before being separated (both in the novels and the show), and Sansa even lampshades how she was an ass to Jon... but it didn't matter. After all the shit that both Jon and Sansa had gone through, seeing them finally find solace in a sibling really tugs at the heartstrings. 

It wasn't a spectacular scene that followed, with Sansa and Jon just reminiscing about Winterfell, Jon joking about how he used to skulk and Sansa joking about how much she was an ass, the two of them wistfully regretting ever leaving Winterfell at all, Jon even joking about his own death and rebirth... which leads into a short argument with Sansa wanting to lead an offensive to retake Winterfell, while Jon's just tired of fighting. It doesn't come to any real angry words spat at each other, though. The final scene, though, really seals the deal, as the news of Ramsay holding Rickon captive and threatening to, well, basically kill everyone Jon Snow loves springs Jon and Sansa into action.

Is it great, seeing Sansa read Ramsay's threat of mass gang-rape unflinchingly, and being the driving force to whip Jon out of his apathy? Is it great to see Tormund Giantsbane offering to help Jon Snow fight Ramsay even before the threat to genocide the Wildlings? Yeah, Jon and Sansa may be tired and broken, but they have allies. Jon has the Wildlings and the Night's Watch (Lich King wight invasion notwithstanding) around, Melisandre's apparently now a fanatic of Jon's, and Sansa plans to gather all the allies of the North.

Meanwhile, though, the individual allies of Jon and Sansa aren't really happy with each other as something I didn't even consider before happens. Brienne of Tarth confronts Ser Davos Seaworth and Melisandre. Having been extremely loyal to their respective retainers, Brienne brings up the murder of Renly with shadow magic (with a pointed glance at Melisandre) before gloating that she was the one who executed King Stannis. Davos is Stannis's best friend, and while he seemed content in serving alongside Jon Snow, will the fact that he's serving alongside Brienne cause any kind of conflict? We'll see.

Speaking of possible Stark allies... the Iron Islands may or may not help out too, depending on how the politics on that side end up. Oh, and the Eyrie!

Littlefinger finally returns after being absent for... quite some time, and he immediately returns to his scheming, swindling ways. He wastes no time in giving autistic little Robin Arryn a caged falcon (which is symbolic in itself, since the Arryn banner is a falcon) and then subtly deflecting suspicion over the treachery to Sansa Stark to poor Lord Royce, easily showing in public how Littlefinger, moreso than anyone else present, has the ear of the lord Robin Arryn. And, well, while he seems to be going to fight the Boltons to rescue Sansa Stark (for... whatever weird reasons he might have) he's at least the lesser evil in this case. It's really unclear if Littlefinger has some bigger plan, or if he's just cleaning up the mess he did by sending Sansa to be married off to Ramsay Bolton, but hey.

Because, well, Ramsay's still horrible. Osha shows up here to pull off another season two and seduce Ramsay to slit his throat, but, well, Ramsay is a lot smarter and more brutal than Theon, and, well, kills Osha instead. I think her death would've had a lot more meaning if we had seen Osha at all for the past three or four seasons, but still, that's another death on Ramsay's hands. I... just didn't feel this one. Sorry. 

Tyrion, meanwhile, meets up with the Great Masters of Yunkai and Astapor, and while Tyrion makes it clear that he hates slavery and wants it to be abolished, he also knows that you can't just wrangle a system out by the roots, and gives the slave masters a time of seven years to reconsider this. Of course, seven years is a short time if we're speaking from a global scale, but from the slaves' viewpoint? Seven years could be an eternity. Missandei and Grey Worm are trapped in between trying to voice their complaints to Tyrion and being soothed by Tyrion's words about 'I also want to end wars' speech, and being pressured by their fellow slaves to say 'fuck you' to the slave masters. It's a lot less interesting than taming dragons, but hey, it's something. Also it's great to see Missandei and especially Grey Worm finally growing out of their submissive shells and defending their rights.

The King's Landing scenes are pretty cool as well. Cersei (and Jaime, though he mostly just stands around) finally decides to flex her political muscles and, well, get some allies of her own. Ignoring the fact that this whole High Sparrow mess was her fault to begin with, she confronts Tommen (it's nice to see Pycelle still up to his old tricks being a doddering idiot while manipulating the people in power) and tells him that their priority should be getting Margeary back. Despite her personal dislike of her daughter-in-law, if Margeary loses her respect, so will Tommen. 

Cersei barges in and manages to use the fact that Margeary is bound to be stripped naked and walked through the streets to get Olenna Tyrell on her side... and, well, Olenna is sure as hell not going to let that happen, even if she's going to get her forces in to murder the High Sparrow. Kevan initially refuses, noting how the King expressly forbade engaging the Faith Militant, but Jaime manages to get Kevan to go into a loophole -- if the King told them to stand down, well, stand down while the Lannister and Tyrell forces rescue Margeary. Yeah, kill off the High Sparrow! Rescue Margeary!

Margeary finally has her reunion with Loras, who hasn't gotten the Theon Greyjoy treatment, thankfully, but he's so broken by the Faith Militant's tortures that he just begs for it to stop and Margeary seems willing to confess, if it's only to ease Loras's suffering. Hopefully this confrontation happens sooner than later, but considering how hard and fast events in this series has been going, it's likely that it's going to happen pretty quickly.

Yara and Theon also get a bit of a reunion, and while Yara is initially hostile because of that failed rescue attempt and thinking that Theon is here to capitalize on the kingless situation, Theon only wants to go home and is fully willing to help Yara Greyjoy to lead. Well, we'll see if they can fight against the self-proclaimed Drowned God. 

Meanwhile, in Vaes Dothrak, we get a lot of fun scenes as Jorah Mormont and Daario run around the city trying to rescue Daenerys, bickering as you will about how Jorah wouldn't be able to 'ride the dragon', Daario sneaking in his beloved knives into the city, Daario whacking a Dothraki to a pulp to hide evidence of foul play, Jorah's stoneskin disease being shown... it really seemed like we're going to drag out this rescue for an episode or two, but no! Jorah and Daario reach Daenerys in this episode, but apparently Daenerys needs no rescuing. I honestly thought she was going to summon Drogon down to roast everyone, but no.

She is brought before the Khals, who are more interested in making threats about fucking her than anything, and Daenerys, well, she just smiles and talks about how once in the past Khal Drogo's son is prophecied to mount the world. The other Khals are understandably dismissive of this, one of them even mentioning how Daenerys caused Khal Drogo's death by consorting with a witch (he's not exactly wrong) but Daenerys makes good on her boast by, well, making use of her immunity to fire to topple the bunch of conveniently-placed braziers down and roasting all the Khals alive. It's no secret that while Daenerys respected Khal Drogo a great deal, it was mostly because Drogo was nowhere as barbaric as the other Dothraki were. 

At this point, it's kind of unclear if the braziers and the hut were just conveniently flameable, or if Daenerys's dragon blood allowed her some manipulation over fire because, well, those fires shot forwards really quickly, and when that one Khal got a brazier tipped his way the fire was accompanied by a dragon roar. We'll see in time, I guess. In any case, the Khals are all dead while Daenerys walks out of the fire naked once more, a great callback to her great scene at the end of season one. She's more than willing to make use of this far more massive Dothraki army to bolster her diminishing one, and, well, it's a pretty impressive display that also takes care of the fact that, y'know, the Dothraki Khals are a bunch of rape-happy barbarians. 

Overall, a great scene, with a lot of the pieces being moved into place. Now the question is what we'll get next episode. Will Daenerys's Horde march back to Mereen and slaughter the slave masters? Will the slave masters betray Tyrion and he'll be forced to unleash Viserion and Rhaegar? Will the Stark Offensive finally march down upon Winterfell? Will the Lannister/Tyrell Alliance finally end the High Sparrow? Will we take a break and get more Daredevil Arya, or Littlefinger, or Sam, or the Sand Snakes attacking King's Landing? Or will we finally get back to the Tower of Joy, which was noteably absent here? Or maybe the King of the White Walkers will just march down with a giant army of undead and just clash against the Night's Watch and Wildlings. 

Arrow S04E22 Review: Sidequest

Arrow, Season 4, Episode 22: Lost in the Flood

Arrow spent its penultimate episode in a bit of a sidequest to wrap all random loose ends up before the big finale, which is a far better thing to do in a penultimate episode than fighting a random new filler villain like what they did over in Flash. The last episode was really great, and it's a bit hard to come off the coattails of that particularly awesome episode, and this episode isn't quite as good as that, thanks to the haphazard focus. But hey, it's a pretty decent entry, and certainly sets things up for a big confrontation.

The focus in this episode is split into two, the Smoak household and Green Arrow and Spartan going off to deal with the Ark Dome thing. Of the two, well... the whole Smoak drama really is annoying, is it? Felicity and Calculator passive-aggressively finding similarities with each other while Felicity hates Calculator on principle is fun, having Curtis Holt make a welcome return and geek out all over Calculator and just be a preciously hilarious fellow is a great improvement. But having Donna come in and just kind of be prissy and angry about how Felicity is keeping secrets and everything... when she herself has been a gigantic hypocrite about keeping the secret how she left Noah instead of the other way around? Wow, Donna, my respect for you just plummeted really hard. You somehow managed to be a bigger hypocrite than Oliver or Laurel ever was throughout all four seasons, and with that holier-than-thou attitude she showed Quentin last episode, and her utterly misguided attempts to inject this family drama in a time where, oh, I don't know, Felicity, Noah and Curtis are trying to stop nuclear Armageddon? Yeah, bugger off. 

And really, we could've had some really great Felicity drama by playing off the fact that she just redirected a nuke to blow up Havenrock. But, nah, have some cringeworthy family drama. Who the fuck cares which Felicity parent left who? Like, seriously. 

Other than that, though, it's a pretty decent episode. Sure, having Team Felicity spend the entirety of it just typing on keyboards fighting against the return of another defeated supervillain -- Cooper "Brother Eye" Sheldon -- is kind of boring, but it's still cool to bring out another old supervillain. I mean, Cooper was defeated by Felicity alone. Her with help? Yeah, I never bought it that Cooper stood a chance. Of course there's the random bit of somehow hacking being able to create electrical explosions, but hey, what do I know about hacking.

Darhk makes the classic villain mistake of showing off his full power, deflecting bullets and arrows and turning them into dust, and then leaving Green Arrow and Spartan alive to suffer. Yeah, Oliver hasn't even used his totally-plot-device white magic power against you yet, Darhk. That's obviously how Oliver's going to beat you. Reeeeally could've given us a way or two to make this less blatantly obvious.

Oliver and Diggle ends up tracking HIVE's movements down to the Tevat Noah dome, in which Malcolm has brainwashed Thea with drugs, and Anarky is just a wildcard threatening to fuck everything up. It really feels like how you should go and fight the end-game boss, but decide to sneak off and complete this random side-dungeon first. It's a cool raid with a lot of great fight scenes between Oliver and Thea, with the nicely surreal setting of Tevat Noah giving us a very atmospheric scene... and is a filler disguised with a great presentation. I really doubt we needed that bit of a filler with a mind-controlled Thea, but hey. There was a bit with a random dude saying about how he volunteered for Tevat Noah because Darhk gave him hope which felt way too ham-handed, but there's that... one of the biggest themes of this season before the Olicity plot tumour replaced it was whether Green Arrow and/or Oliver Queen can be a symbol of hope, and it seems like it's setting it up for the finale, if nothing else. 

Granted, Mr. Randomdude kind of misses the point about how Darhk gave him hope... BY NUKING THE WORLD. Fucking hell, if you're so worried about crime, move the fuck away to, like, Ivy Town or Coast City or Metropolis or some shit. I really hope you get crushed by falling rubble, you selfish moron.

Anarky ends up dealing the biggest blow to Darhk, not only being directly responsible for killing Ruve Adams-Darhk, but also blowing up Tevat Noah and collapsing the Glades... again. Of course, Oliver's team manages to save Darhk's daughter, but Ruve's dead. It's a bit of a sudden yet well-deserved death for one of the more underrated but no less impressive villains of this season. There really wasn't much of a dramatic sensibility in having Anarky be the one to end Ruve's life, but, y'know, the spirit of the character is chaos and anarchy, and indeed he does have beef with Damien Darhk. I have a lot of issues for the utter disregard of the source material, but I cannot deny that this incarnation of Anarky is really fun, especially when he breaks out that staff and starts to kick ass. 

And with Team Felicity wrenching control of Shadowspire from Cooper, and Darhk finding confirmation that his wife is dead and his daughter's whereabouts are unknown... the dude's finally snapped. All his best-laid plans, all the gloating and the newfound Sith powers, and he couldn't stop the wild factor that is Anarky, and, well, he's just ready to launch nukes all over the place and let the world burn. Which... was honestly already his plan from the get-go, except now he wants to murder everyone instead of keeping to the spirit of the Genesis plan. Which... okay? It's not the worst character development out there. Does make Darhk feel a fair bit weaker as a villain, though.

Oh, and the flashbacks are still dragging things out. Taiana is corrupted by the scary demon totem, Reiter catches up, but nothing happens so Oliver's confrontation with Baron Reiter can happen next episode. Man, even compared to the already lackluster flashback sequences for the first three episodes, nothing really happened in this season's other than Constantine's short cameo, yeah?

Overall, there are a lot of things in this episode that felt like padding or didn't work out for me. Darhk's inaction, the flashbacks, Thea-gets-brainwashed-again-but-it's-like-for-five-minutes and the poor focus taken with the Smoak family drama. That said, though, out of the CW shows this wek I think this is the most coherent and enjoyable out of the three, even if the punchy-punch isn't quite as fun as Legends of Tomorrow's finale.

Legends of Tomorrow S01E16 Review: Time Travel! It's Hard!

Legends of Tomorrow, Season 1, Episode 16: Legendary

Okay, if you shut down your brain from all the stupid plot holes in this episode (and the previous one), this is actually a pretty entertaining smashy-smash blasty-blast season finale. But I could say that about the previous episode too. Except I didn't. It's... well, let's bitch about the plot holes first, shall we? How does killing Vandal Savage off in three different timelines not make Vandal Savage disappear all Eobard Thawne style after he was killed in the earliest time period? While the show tries to explain every other time-travelly aspect of this episode with Martin Stein's sciency goobledegonk, this part isn't made clear. And while Vandal Savage is dead, why doesn't any of the events he had caused (or will cause, depending when he is killed) all throughout the timeline revert? I think the show just raised up its hands and given up on making time travel consistent in favour for a couple of cool fight scenes, which is just dumb. I guess we can just quote the episode itself and go "we're past the point of worrying about the timeline!"

Still, it's an end to one of the most... insane superhero shows ever. It's got so many ups and downs, and it has so many things that I absolutely loathe, and so many things that I adore. To say that Legends of Tomorrow is a mixed bag is an understatement. This episode wraps up the first season succinctly, but the writers really could have done a lot better. 

The plot for this episode, at least, was attempted to be explained rather quickly with some Martin Stein/Rip Hunter magic science handwaves. Vandal Savage plans to 'simultaneously' (whatever that means in terms of time travel) detonate a Thanagarian meteor at three time points with the Hawks' blood in order to kind of fuck up the timeline so much that it will revert back to ancient Egypt, with only Vandal Savage retaining his knowledge and immortality. I think. How did he know how any of this would happen with crazy blood rituals and magic meteors, no one can really guess. And honestly, how does a bunch of weird meteors with reincarnation powers have timey-wimey destruction powers anyway? Eh. Also, apparently, detonating the meteor will fill Savage with so much chronal energy that it will make him mortal. So the Legends crew decide to kill him off three times in three different times. Does it make sense? Not particularly, but okay, whatever. 

The thing is, the time spent in this episode just to set up this long particular showdown takes up nearly half of it. Generally if you're organizing a season finale, you do the buildup in the episode prior to the finale. This episode spends half of it having Rip Hunter tell the team to bugger off in 2016, before the Legends team grouping back together and deciding, 'hey, we gotta summon Rip back here and stop Vandal Savage!' It's a bit of a momentum-killer. And while it does give us a couple of pretty awesome moments courtesy of Sara Lance discovering about Laurel's death in Arrow (coupled with a very welcome guest star by Quentin) and Sara confronting Rip for not telling her that -- it's a very raw, very emotional scene that I think is easily Sara's best moment this season. We also got Heat Wave trying to strike up a partnership with a random knockoff Captain Cold* which is a nice moment when he's just dissatisfied about how the knockoff was far more hotheaded than he was. 

*This actually happened in the comics when Captain Cold temporarily retired, though it was Golden Glider who sought out a C-lister villain called Chillblaine to fill in for her brother.

But really, was there any doubt that the Legends Team would rejoin together to beat up Vandal Savage? Because they do. I just wished that it didn't take half the episode. Also, while this is going on Kendra and Savage are fighting in World War II with a possible cameo by Sergeant Rock (he's got the right helmet, at least) who got himself killed by Savage. This is for Kendra to send a time-ripple message thing through Sgt. Rock's helmet... which makes me kinda wish that this particular prop was actually called to attention earlier in the series. It's a weird thing to do, honestly, and couldn't we just have had them find out Savage's temporal location by seeing the destruction he's wrought or something? They rescue Carter (but fail to bring Kendra), and then take a long time to explain Savage's plan and their countermeasure.

Other than the Sara moment, this all felt like a big time-waster, and when the team finally gets going (to the sets of that suburban village in the 50's with the Manhawks and the TerroristCon, explaining what Savage was doing there, which are nice callbacks) it's rather too straightforward. The team splits up into groups of two to take down Vandal Savage in three different time periods and it's... well, it's just a big smashy-smash. There were some standout moments, of course, with Vandal Savage single-handedly taking out that army of Nazi's, with Rip's summoning of the Waverider to stop his fall, Sara's awesomely brutal hand-to-hand combat with Savage and snapping his neck, and Heat Wave burning Savage alive. That last bit has to be my favourite moment. But ultimately it felt a bit lackluster, especially when Kendra, yet again, got herself shot out of the sky and recaptured not moments after he got rescued.

Yes, Kendra does finally manage to stab Savage in the chest in one of the timelines, her first actually meaningful contribution to this whole endeavour. Then the third meteor, for whatever reason, refused to explode or shrink, with no particular explanation to why Firestorm and Atom can't do it beyond 'lol plot', leading to this very long moment with Rip Hunter carrying the meteor via the Waverider into the sun, trying to martyr himself and then some random near-death appearance scene later, decides that he wants to survive, and with the aid of Gideon time-jumps to when he left off.

Also, while this is all going on, the writers finally acknowledged that Firestorm's comic-book powers are far, far more intricate other than just combining into a dude that shoots out flames. Comic-book Firestorm has atomic restructuring powers, and Jefferson finally gets to explore it as he accidentally turns a Nazi's gun into dust, and spends a good chunk of the episode trying to learn that power -- managing to turn one of the Thanagarian meteors into water. It really should have been an ongoing struggle for Firestorm throughout the season, instead of randomly introducing this power-up two minutes before the finale. Certainly, say, the backlash from attempting atomic reconstruction would be a more interesting plot point to take Firestorm out of the equation other than stupid 'hey, let's separate Martin and Jefferson for no good reason'.

Anyway, Savage dies, at last... and we still have no idea how he survived from being turned into dust in that Arrow/Flash crossover, and what Malcolm Merlyn did with the Savage dust. We also got a lot less Vandal Savage magic blasts than I would've preferred. But, hey, Vandal Savage got a pretty awesome exit, even if it doesn't particularly make sense.

I really wished the episode didn't focus so much on Rip, though. In between him doing absolutely nothing while telling the Legends team to fuck off, to his long, extended sequence with his heroic sacrifice and all that felt like we're spending way too much time on him, when really other characters should've gotten the screentime. The Hawks, for example. Cut off all that stupid 'Kendra in distress' bit and give them some actual characterization.

After the deed was over, we get another montage of the characters and what they did, with Sara and Stein's families telling them to embrace their destiny. I really liked the moment with Stein's wife, which was pretty heartwarming. We also get a surprise cameo from Captain Cold, with Heat Wave visiting Captain Cold in 2013 to, well, say goodbye with his lack of emotional capabilities while Cold is just going all 'what is this damn fool doing'. They seem to be keeping Captain Cold dead for a while, which is honestly quite fine. It was a pretty awesome way to go out, though when it comes to the line I really want Captain Cold to stick around and if he dies I really want it to be something more personal. It was a great scene and definitely one of the best ones in this episode, though, easily one of the most heartwarming things the CW universe has ever done, easily rivaling all the moments that the likes of Barry and Oliver had went through.

And while Firestorm, White Canary, the Atom and Heat Wave have put their affairs in order to rejoin Rip Hunter to become new Time Masters, apparently Hawkman and Hawkgirl decides to bugger off. Even if this Hawkman really is not the Hawkman from the 2016-era time period, which you would think would cause some time ripple problems, but eh. The show has kinda screwed over this really interesting concept and the only feasible time to bring the Hawkman/Hawkgirl reincarnation story into a satisfying condensed version of the headache we got in the comics. Though I'm sad that they can't do the storyline justice, I'm happy to get these two characters out of the way.

And it seems like we're going to get new characters to fill in the ranks, with the final scene showing a damaged Waverider popping up with a dire warning, telling our heroes not to get into that ship. Rex Tyler is the alter-ego of the second Hourman, and while Tyler hasn't revealed his superhero name yet, he does have Hourman's distinctive hood and he does introduce himself as a member of the Justice Society of America. Yay for that! 

As far as finales go, this one is... functional enough not to be outright bad. There was too much padding, granted -- the bit with the Nazis and the Rip sacrifice were hardly necessary. While this ending was a bit messy and honestly underwhelming, I can't deny but feel a real sense of happiness as the team finally succeeded in defeating Vandal Savage, and I can't deny that I'm excited in seeing where this show can go. With the worst elements of the show (well, other than Rip himself) I think everyone can give this awesome cast a second chance.

Agents of SHIELD S03E20 Review: Inhuman Wars

Agents of SHIELD, Season 3, Episode 20: Emancipation

Hooooly fuck this episode was amazing. I say that about every episode of Agents of SHIELD, but this episode is just great. There was a bit of intentional homage to what's going on in Civil War, of course, but other than mentioning the Sokovian Accords and how the president's decision to take stock of SHIELD stems from that event, they didn't really delve too deep into forcing a half-assed crossover like season two, where Coulson's super-duper secret plan throughout half the season was meant to tie in to Age of Ultron. Here, the show is content to keep its conflict internal, and deliver some really great scenes as Talbot comes in and takes stock of SHIELD and its Inhuman problems.

I do really like Talbot. Yes, he's a jackass enough to fit his role of an obstructive bureaucrat, but it would've been way too easy to make him obstructive. He could've gone all 'I will shut this all DOWN' and whatnot, but Talbot is mostly content with just challenging Coulson verbally, with the two hiding some information from each other, and when push does comes to shove, Talbot is relatively supportive, and immediately accepting of all the weird shit that's been going on in the world of Inhumans. And I do like how Coulson is just happy to show Talbot the Inhumans on their side, though Joey is conspicuously absent this episode. There was a fake-out that the hooded fellow that the Watchdogs want to beat up was him, but it turned out to be Hellfire instead.

The weakest part of the episode, I imagine, was Lincoln. The show tries so hard to make Lincoln relevant, but he and Mack have always just been there to me... and Mack finally got some overdue characterization in recent episodes. Lincoln has... just always been there. He's Skye's boyfriend, he shoots lightning, he has temper issues, and that's about it. This episode hinges on the 'is Lincoln a traitor' which we kind of already did a couple episodes ago, and Lincoln apparently is so frustrated with SHIELD that he succumbs to Skye's sweet words and conspires to escape.

When really it was all a big, big bluff to get a quinjet as a trojan horse to Hive's location, carrying Lash along with it. And, well, the dramatic moment of Lincoln fighting Mack was just a complication when someone who didn't know about the operation interferes. It's honestly a bit far-fetched to think that Lincoln is stupid enough not to realize that Skye's mind-controlled, and I thought he was trying to pull a fast one on Skye anyway -- the twist, really, is that apparently Coulson and May were in it all along.

Lash fighting Hive was pretty cool, as the two arc villains of this season finally confront one another. It's a standard 'sic two enemies against each other' plot, and it kind of works! I could've done without Lincoln's silly every Inhuman has a purpose speech, of course, and just want to enjoy Hive do battle with Lash. It's a great moment as Lash just no-sells the swarm that Hive sends out with his hole-creation abilities, knocks around every single one of the creepy Primitives, and even blew a hole in Hive's chest. Though apparently there's enough of dr. Garner within Lash for him to save Skye... and apparently Lash has the ability to selectively draw out just the parasites from Skye's body. I'll just have to accept this and move on.

Ultimately, though, I thought Lash's death would have had more impact if we had one last scene between him and May -- the one before the permanent transformation felt too convenient, and we really needed some closure for Lash in this episode. But all in all, damn, Lash single-handedly just humbled Hive, rescued Skye and generally is awesome all around. It's not a bad way to go out, and made me respect Hellfire a lot more.

Man, when we first saw Hellfire, I thought he was just going to be an irrelevant side character, but this episode he's proven himself to be pretty damn awesome. Yeah, he changed his Gambit gimmick into something similar to Ghost Rider, but that only makes him cooler. I admit, knowing that Ghost Rider's TV rights have returned to Marvel, I thought that when the Watchdogs ambushed Hellfire and he's talking about hell and pulls out that flaming chain, I thought we were getting the MCU version of Ghost Rider. But Hellfire's cool.

Hive and Hellfire kidnap a group of Inhuman-hating Watchdogs after beating them up with a flaming chain, for the awesome dr Radcliffe to experiment. I absolutely love dr Radcliffe. He's just a fun mad scientist who has to juggle his pride as a scientist and the pants-shitting fear of Hive. I'm surprised he actually made it out of this episode alive. When the Watchdogs were transformed into the Primitives (who really look like X-Men Origins' versions of Deadpool with flesh-sewn mouths) I thought they were going to tear the good doctor apart, but apparently he lives! Yay, dr Radcliffe. Hopefully they give you some cool powers too. I was a bit disappointed that the Primitives are basically cannon fodder, but they do illustrate Hive's insane plans to turn everyone into, well, basically that. Unlike Radcliffe, who wants to hasten evolution and humanity's progress, Hive just wants to put everyone under his thrall as an Inhuman. And I love how creeped out by the Primitives Hellfire and Radcliffe were.

They're going to use the warheads that Blake stole for them to spread the virus to like an entire continent, so that's another great tie-in.

Oh, and Elena and Mack's little shippy thing continues on its merry progress, and Elena gave Mack that cross necklace... which we last saw in that explody ship. Good job, show. Threaten to kill off a character just as I begin to like him.

Overall, a great show all around. Skye is back, and while I would've wanted something more climatic from her part, it's sufficient. Lash also could've had a bit more drama with his dramatic sacrifice, but honestly I'm not really complaining. Two more episodes to go, and I'm definitely looking forward to this.

Supergirl Season 1: Episodes 16-20

Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 16: Falling

Right, Supergirl. The season finished a long time ago, and I have half-written reviews for all the episodes, but I kept off finishing them because, oh, I dunno. Too lazy or some shit. May is the month of superhero episode reviews, though, and I'm going to finish at least this season's worth of episodes. I am not sure if I'll be continuing on if Supergirl gets a second season, because damn this show is exhausting to watch sometimes. This episode is one of those.

It's no fault of the concept of the episode, really. There comes a time in every self-respecting superhero's career when they are driven into evil rage due to a convenient plot phlebotium device, be it an alien rage-enhancing symbiote, alien rock of a certain radiation, the death of a sidekick, a particular supervillain's power or simply tripping on some drugs. It's no shame, really. It's just, that... well, Kara isn't so much evil in this episode so much as she acts like a bitch. It's like how Spider-Man 3 tries to portray Peter Parker as being more angry and evil thanks to the symbiote, but he just ends up being a douche with different hair.

This episode of Supergirl has her act like a bitch to resident bitch-rival Siobahn (who ends up being a surprisingly entertaining character, something that I don't normally associate with anything related to the CatCo part of the show), and letting that random Khund alien run away free because reasons, and throwing random temper tantrums and saying hurtful things that drives Alex to tears. Also throws Cat Grant off of her building, but honestly did anyone expect Supergirl not to save her? I mean, can't have her reputation too tarnished, after all. All you get is having the little girl throw away her Supergirl cosplay cape. Which is honestly just eyeball-roll inducing. 

Also when she goes evil she flies around in a costume similar to the one that Astra's group wears. Where... did she get that? 

Also Cat (rather justifiably, considering Supergirl chucked her off a building) labels Supergirl as Public Enemy #1, which would probably have more gravitas if we weren't just fresh of a Bizarro episode. Also the reconciliation at the end honestly just feels dumb.

Also I thought it was dumb for the DEO team to go after Supergirl and not at least bring their many, many Kryptonite-laced weapons that they usually have in handy to keep Supergirl in check during training sessions. Nah, let's have chaos happen all over, and it takes Supergirl threatening Alex to cause J'onn J'onzz to transform and tackle Supergirl in easily the best moment of the show. Anytime the Martian Manhunter does anything is just great! I'm not sure why he surrenders at the end, though maybe he feels he would do more damage if he ran? Eh. 

Also Maxwell Lord is in here for plot reasons, because he's the one that made the red kryptonite. It's just dumb having him show up, go through the DEO's ridiculous revolving door prison, helping out and waltzing off. It would be fun if he was actually entertaining, but he's not. 

Oh, and there's the ever-annoying love plot. I remembered Winn and Siobahn being funny as Kara accidentally 'discovers' their relationship, and thankfully Winn doesn't seem to be pining for Kara anymore -- that would be annoying. James was randomly angsting for no good reason, though, and Kara being super-forward thanks to the red kryptonite just adds to his wangst. Fuck off already, James Olsen. You are uninteresting. 

Despite my sour tone, this is still somewhat enjoyable. The J'onn bit was definitely great, Siobahn's small role was fun and as childish as the execution of evil angry Supergirl was, it's helped a bit due to part of her tantrum involving saying some of the frustrations that she's been taking in without complaint all throughout the season. Alex's reactions seem a bit over the top, but it's still a nice way to show the disaster caused when a nice person like Kara acts without restraint... except, y'know, the stakes are never all that high because it all ends up just like a tantrum. 

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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 17: Manhunter

Supergirl is best when J'onn J'onzz takes central stage, mostly because he's just so damned interesting. The fact that the writing team takes a more mature tone while writing J'onn as compared to writing Kara is probably a major contributing factor, but mostly because in addition to being an interesting character, we never have to suffer through J'onn reciting a badly-hackeneyed moral speech. Also the whole mystery behind Alex's father.

It's a nice little game-changer to have J'onn's masquerade as Hank Henshaw be uncovered, and J'onn's little trial, interspread with flashbacks to what really happened between J'onn, the real Hank Henshaw and Jeremiah Danvers, is really fun to watch. I mean, some of the interrogation moments felt a bit off, but it's still pretty decent as far as Supergirl's writing standard goes. The flashback sequences were powerful, portraying pre-human-society J'onn as this majestic, otherworldly visitor, and his immediate friendship with Jeremiah, and the conflict this brings against the xenophobic Hank Henshaw, is pretty well-portrayed.

Granted the fact that Superman knows J'onn exists, and knows enough to label him as powerful as him, raises some questions... namely, why doesn't Superman help in apprehending J'onn? They know nothing about him and what is he ends up being hostile?

Whatever the case, things happened just like everyone probably predicted happened -- Jeremiah died defending J'onn from Hank (and Hank died in the process), with Jeremiah asking J'onn to protect his girls. We get a short flashback of J'onn's first meeting with Alex, who's wasting her life in clubs and shit, and while not entirely necessary to the story hepls to build the relationship between J'onn and his surrogate daughter.

We also get a flashback of a young Alex having to deal with a young Kara when she still has to come to terms with fitting in school, as well as saving civilians from an exploding car. It's a nice, sweet moment when the Danvers parents tried to get Kara to, hey, enjoy her childhood and be normal before being a superhero. It's a nice, sweet moment.

Oh, by the way, J'onn J'onzz gets to eat Oreos Chocos! It's one aspect of the character that is absolutely crucial to any self-respecting adaptation of the Martian Manhunter. His love for cookies. That's totally canonical.

Lucy Lane spearheading this with one Colonel Harper is a decent way to bring in a character we know without resorting to reusing Sam Lane again, though honestly does anyone doubt that Lucy won't help out the good guys? The only real reason she wouldn't is her jealousy over James, and honestly that ain't worth fighting for. Supergirl's reveal of her identity to Lucy thankfully gains her trust and friendship. Lucy's a far more interesting character now that she's been freed from the utter plodding mess that was her relationship with James. 

We also get an awesome motorcycle raid! That was just fun to watch as they go in on motorcycles and leather jackets to free J'onn and allow her and Alex to escape into the wind, with Lucy taking over the DEO. They also reveal some interesting tidbits -- Jeremiah is alive, and associated with Project Cadmus... which, in the comics, is basically Evil STAR Labs and would proceed to create many of Superman's supporting allies and villains. It seemed odd that Supergirl doesn't recruit J'onn to go and bust the heads at Project Cadmus, but hey, can't ever accuse Supergirl of good pacing, otherwise Astra and Non would've invaded like twelve episodes ago.

Everything in CatCo, from the flashback to Kara's first arrival, to Siobahn going in to hack Kara's emails and just spring off an utterly moronic subplot, did not need to happen. Oh, and Siobahn falls down from the side of the building, only to discover that her scream keeps her afloat. Hello, Silver Banshee!

Overall, despite the weak CatCo scenes (and honestly when have they ever really been strong? Cat Grant just barely straddles the fine line of being entertainingly hilarious and annoyingly preachy) this episode is pretty decent in all fronts, firing on all cylinders with great flashbacks, great developments and great foreshadowings. With the next episode being a fun-filled Flash crossover as Supergirl and Flash have a jolly old time, sadly we have exhausted the last bits of actually good and watchable Supergirl episodes.

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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 18: World's Finest

Well, that was a fun romp. It's honestly not a particularly great episode -- just a formulaic superheroes against supervillains bit -- but it was definitely fun to watch. So many things helped out this episode, really. Livewire coming back was a nice bonus, as irritating as she can be at times. Siobahn finally completes her transformation into the Silver Banshee, which is nice -- villains who we see the rise and fall of throughout the season is so much more fun than just another bad guy to beat up. And, of course, the fun romp between Supergirl and the Flash. Not only are the two just great fun to have on-screen, they don't go to the formula of fighting each other because of distrust, a refreshing break after Civil War and Batman v. Superman. 

It definitely is a fun little crossover, don't get me wrong, and I definitely enjoyed it... I just feel like the show could've stood to do something more. I don't know. Maybe I just expected too much? Maybe it's the fact that Livewire and Silver Banshee combined doesn't even really seem like they pose a threat at all. Maybe it's Silver Banshee's unconvincing makeup. Maybe it's the ungodly amount of time we spent dicking around in CatCo or with James' jealousy bit. Maybe it's the lack of Martian Manhunter. Maybe it's the rather trite conclusion of having a bunch of random firemen save the day instead of, hey, one of the two superheroes running around. I mean, hey, I get the spirit of the thing, but it felt kind of underwhelming to bring in two big superheroes and then not to have them save the day, you know what I mean?

The episode was greatest when it focused on Barry and Kara, which I cannot fault at all. It's great, it's fun, from Flash zooming in rather randomly out of nowhere, the 'who are you?' bit between both heroes, before the two of them just found a grand old time being good buddies and fighting crime. Other than James being a sourpuss and being jealous and shit, there isn't even a sign of some romantic tension between them. They're just happy to hang around each other as superheroes and shit, and Barry even gives Kara some advice about trusting her team, something that, as the more experienced superhero (by a full season!) Barry is qualified to do. 

Both Barry and Kara are definitely fun characters that, thanks to both writing and the actors' own bubbly personalities, raise every scene they are in -- Melissa Benoist's acting is really honestly what brought Supergirl this far despite its shit writing and plotting. And be it Flash and Supergirl teaming up and talking about supervillain semantics, or Barry Allen and Kara Danvers trying to cover up Barry's presence at CatCo (which would be a chore to watch if Barry and Kara weren't so fun), it's a blast watching them together.

Siobahn finally makes her full transformation into the Silver Banshee... in a hilariously idiotic way. Hey, apparently her family has some random Irish banshee curse! And, well, it's comic accurate, to be sure, but some hints about this beyond her being Irish would certainly be welcome. And I don't think this universe has established the kryptonians' weakness to magic, so how Silver Banshee is even a threat ends up hanging. And her makeover in the show... yeah, Silver Banshee does have an iconic look that doesn't really translate well on-screen, and Siobahn really ends up looking like a half-assed metalhead.

How Siobahn could so easily walk into the DEO to break Livewire (and no other villains?) out ends up being a rather strange plot hole, but hey, we get two versus two and I'm all for supervillain superhero fight scenes! From Barry hilariously lobbing a lightning bolt onto Livewire (and the justification that he thought he could overload her like he did Atom Smasher), the usage of Pied Piper earplugs, and, well, just the general treat of seeing a superhero team-up, it's just a blast all around. Also, the race at the end which allowed Supergirl to assist in lobbing Flash back home is a nice nod to how often Superman and Flash raced each other in their crossovers.

Right up until the end, of course, when Livewire gets defeated by a bunch of handy firemen. For one, it seemed like way too quick of a backpedaling from the people losing trust in Supergirl after Bizarro and Red Kryptonite. It just seemed like lazy writing, when the concept of Supergirl having terse relations with the public is a half-decent avenue to explore. 

The side-characters we are left with, sadly, only really drag the show down. With Lucy and Will being ultimately wallpaper dressing, the ones that get the most screentime are Cat and James. James had this utterly irritating nonsensical jealousy subplot, and apparently gets mind-controlled by Myriad at the end of the episode after that one kiss with Kara. Screw off, James, no one likes you anyway. Cat Grant.. is honestly being so inconsistently written with the one constant in her being 'a bitch'. Again, like the public, Cat almost immediately backpedals on her stance against Supergirl, which really, after the thrown-off-a-building thing also felt randomly rushed. Being so central in the plot since she's Livewire and Silver Banshee's target also means that she gets a lot of screentime... and by god, is she annoying. From antagonizing the supervillains for no good reason before immediately mewling for help because, yeah, she can't do jack shit against them... to her bad 'CW cast' jokes that fell flat, to randomly trying to get Kara and James to hook up after being upset about Kara dumping her son... Cat Grant has kind of crossed the line from being entertaining to irritating.

Still, Cat Grant and James Olsen and Silver Banshee's makeup are honestly not good reasons to hate this episode. It's still a really fun and energetic episode at heart. While we don't get quite the OMG EPIC feel of having Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman stand against Doomsday, or to have Green Arrow do battle with a mind-controlled Flash, or to have the entire cast of the Marvel Cinematic Universe face off against each other in an airport, it's still a great crossover, a fun crossover, and, well... yeah, it could've been more epic, but I can't lie -- I had fun watching this episode, and fun episodes are good. 

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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 19: Myriad

While Supergirl has had its ups and downs (and I've ranted about the latter quite extensively), I don't think anyone could argue against the fact that the two-episode finale was, well, quite honestly crappy. And after coming off a string of genuinely fun episodes (the J'onn trial and the Flash crossover), we get this clusterfuck of a finale.

See, I know the budget of a TV series isn't as large as a movie, but after the cliffhanger from last episode that Myriad has taken control of every single human in National City... nothing really comes of it. Almost the entirety of the episode is spent in Cat Grant's office, having Supergirl, Cat and Maxwell Lord talk and talk and talk and talk and repeat their discussion from a different angle and talk and talk and talk. The stakes never really felt that high, really, especially since the random Kelly lady who died was not someone we've seen before. It's a display of Non's control over humanity, of course, but a combination of the lack of any action throughout the majority of the episode and generally how vague Non's plans is ends up being kind of detrimental to the tension of the episode.

The fact that Maxwell Lord and Cat Grant are the only two humans in National City not to be affected by Myriad also doesn't really help the episode either. Lord makes sense from a storytelling point of view. He is a paranoid, super-pragmatic son of a bitch who hates aliens, after all. Makes sense that he would be wearing protection from mind-control. The fact that he sent anti-mind-control earrings to Cat Grant? It doesn't make sense. The two never interacted in a friendly manner throughout the past 18 episodes, and having Cat Grant show up just to continue giving inconsistently-scripted lines doesn't do her any favour, really. And honestly the writing quality in this episode... just kinda plummeted, didn't it? Not only do they keep repeating the same discussion on whether effectively nuking the city is good or not, Kara's long speeches about hope seemed long-winded and unnecessary. All she has to do is just go 'no, nuking a city is wrong, you psychopath!' 

Also, they could've gone with the 'Superman is off in space' excuse which they made earlier this episode instead of having him zoom in just to be mind-controlled and almost forgotten for the duration of this episode and the next. The explanation to why Myriad affected Superman because he was raised on Earth was also dumb. Was Supergirl not raised on Earth as well? Hell, if anything, she has been embracing Earth life moreso than Superman, being content to work in CatCo for the rest of her life if Alex hadn't been on that unfortunate plane. Also the fact that neither Non nor Indigo really made use of the fact that, hey, they have motherfucking Superman under their thrall! Why not have the excuse be Non's randomly-disappeared army of Kryptonians be fighting Superman elsewhere? 

We could've had Maxima (who was a pretty major character in Superman lore!) actually break free and wreak havoc to give Supergirl a distraction instead of, y'know, being trapped in Cat Grant's office and yapping like a goldfish. She shows up, I realized who she is and had a happy fan smile, and then she gets re-incarcerated almost immediately. 

Non's a very weak villain, too. In addition to the show's hilariously bad allegory that having everyone mind-controlled into a hive-mind would solve all the problems because oh the world keeps thinking of celebrities and sex and shit instead of solving global warming blah blah blah... which would be great if it was, like, for a single line and not so on-the-nose. Maybe a simple "your society would benefit so much more if they weren't obsessed with trivialities and individuality" or some shit like that, instead of being on-the-nose. And Non shows up, tells three of Supergirl's friends to jump off the roof... and just buggers off? Really? No taking Supergirl captive, no forcing Lord and Cat under his control? And despite Indigo telling him how sensible it would be to kill Kara, nah, let's just stand around in this room. 

J'onn and Alex show up again, and bring Alex's mom up to speed about what's going on. Alex's bullheaded idiocy to charge straight into the city even though it's made clear that all humans are affected by Myriad is... well, nothing short of moronic. Even a five-year-old knows that sending J'onn in is the only really sane move. What do you think you can do in National City, Alex, honestly? All you did is fuck J'onn's concentration up, get mind-controlled and forced to fight Kara for extra drama. J'onn tried his best to fight Indigo, but gets stabbed for his troubles. Seriously, Alex, you're better off, like, trying to dig for information or help the military out or... hell, something that doesn't involve you walking straight into the lion's den.

Yeah, the more I talk about this episode's plot, the more it falls apart. And that's not counting the insane annoyance factor of the whole 'greater good versus hope' speech. It's just an utterly dumb episode, really. Even if this was the plot of a Saturday morning cartoon, I would still call it dumb. 

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Supergirl, Season 1, Episode 20: Better Angels

And so Supergirl ended not with a bang, but with a whimper. Where most superhero shows at least attempt to make their finales be memorable -- and despite the quality variance of, say, Gotham, Arrow, Agents of SHIELD et cetera, indeed, their finales are at least somewhat memorable -- Supergirl eschews all of this in favour of... well, mere mediocrity. Maybe it's simply because Non was never a really threatening villain, maybe it's because of the bad scripting and pacing, maybe it's because of all the plot holes, and maybe it's because of the maddeningly inane television speech of hope that, oh so conveniently breaks every single person's mind control... but this is easily one of the worst episodes of Supergirl. It barely beats out the last episode by virtue of not spending 80% of its screentime in Cat Grant's stupid office, but it's still pretty terrible.

I know the point of Supergirl is to be bright and cheery and optimistic. That's fine! But there are ways to make bright, cheery and optimistic instead of spending a full fifteen minutes just having her give a badly-written hope hope hope hope speech. Did we not already have that last episode? This kind of bullshit is what made Naruto's finale so horrifyingly craptastic, because what use is all the buildup if you're just going to talk your villains to death? They are going for the 'no one has to die' thing, which is fine! But sucking out any tension and sensibility from your season finale isn't the way to do it.

Having Supergirl talk Alex out from mind control because, y'know, she's her sister, makes a whole lot of sense! That bit was cheesy and sickeningly-sweet but ultimately heartwarming. Having Supergirl's big plan to repeat the same thing on a city-wide scale... ends up feeling utterly nonsensical, especially when it works. And then Non randomly causes Myriad to give everyone headaches instead of mind-controlling them (wouldn't it be far more efficient to mind-control everyone again and have them all commit suicide?) which honestly is just odd. And honestly, Non's motivations are so foggy. He goes from 'Astra would want this' to 'hell yeah, let's blow Earth up and conquer the universe' after two lines of encouragement from Indigo. What the fuck?

We get a nice little battle sequence with Kara fighting Non, blinding the cardboard villain straight in the eyes, while J'onn rips Indigo in half and causes her to disintegrate. Before she shows up in the next scene randomly in pieces on the ground. Wait what?

And then we get Supergirl's oh-so-dramatic sacrifice pushing Fort Rozz out of orbit and being knocked out by the lack of oxygen before being saved by the Chekov's Gun that is her spaceship, which couldn't be more obvious was going to be the solution if they tried. I think the writers resolving Myriad in ten minutes was so they can waste the finale with a goddamned clip show of flashbacks showing what Supergirl meant to all the members of the cast. Holy shit, it really is just like Naruto! 

Let's talk about the rest of the plot holes in this episode, shall we? Last episode had Superman be mind-controlled, but where every single person have recovered from Myriad in this episode, Superman is nowhere to be seen. I mean, yeah, the dude's face is like off-limits, but couldn't they have given us a throwaway line about how, oh, Non made sure to take Superman out with a Krypto-tranquilizer drug? How the fuck do the super-paranoid military not put explosives or guards around Fort Rozz with all the Krytonian fugitives running around? Apparently all the DEO members are still under control of Non... so why hadn't he freed the alien prisoners after Kara left post-Maxima last episode? 

Some bullshit about Cat giving Kara a promotion. Oh, and speaking of CatCo, how utterly stupid is it for Supergirl to still think of her work and wandering around delivering lattes and shit when Non and Indigo are still running around on the loose? I mean, yeah, she's dedicated to this job for no real good reason but it's just utterly stupid! Some token romance scene with James who I don't give two shits about, and the final cliffhanger has Kara and J'onn investigating another kryptonian escape pod that has crash-landed.

It's a bad, bad finale, with so many things working against it. The fact that it came off the disappointing episode 19 doesn't help either. I don't doubt Supergirl has enough supporters and is popular enough to warrant a season 2, and I do agree that at least half of the cast is charismatic enough for me to want to see them in a second outing... but honestly, can Diana come over from the WB-world and please just kill Maxwell Lord already. That fucker's annoying.

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