What it says on the title. This time we're taking a crack at Generation II.
Previous lists:
Best & Worst Mega Evolutions;
Least Favourite Pokemon;
Generation I
I didn't play a lot of Generation II when it came out. I played the game up until like slightly before Ecruteak, and then eye problems caused my Game Boy to be kind of relegated to the side. And I didn't have massive posters with the names and types of all the Pokemon the way that I did with the first generation, so it's actually not until much later that I am aware of some of the Pokemon from Generation II that didn't show up a lot in the anime and manga. It's not until
much later, when I played Generation III, that I knew of the relationship between some of the Pokemon. Who would've thought Gloom could evolve into Bellossom? Or that Tyrogue is the pre-evolution of the three Hitmons? And while the other baby Pokemon were obvious, Smoochum being related to Jynx was a surprise. Crobat, Scizor, Steelix and Politoed being evolutions of generation I Pokemon is also news to me, but those are far more welcome news because they looked like they were related to previous Pokemon, I just didn't expect them to be straight-up evolutions. Because I was a kid and I was of the mentality of 'hey, if they didn't stand side-by-side in the Pokedex, they don't evolve into each other!'
But I did play through Generation II. A lot of times on emulators and once on my old Game Boy.
Generation II was okay, I guess. It was kind of a bridge between I and III, where the graphics were still 'like I, but better', the map was so much larger, the typings and whatnot were more balanced with Dark and Steel types being thrown in... they were still really trying to figure out how to make these sequels to Pokemon games, and with the second generation there is a distinct feel of being a sequel to the first generation, a feeling that none of the other more standalone generations had. The pool of Pokemon wasn't that impressive, only amounting to a hundred, which is I think the second-least amount of Pokemon introduced in a generation. It makes sense, though, since Generation II's wildlife mirrored so much of Generation I, so the early bugs are still Caterpies and Weedles, the local ghost is still Gastly, while Rattatas and Pidgeys still plague the early routes... Generation II felt like an expansion pack more than anything, and the fact that so much of the Generation II Pokemon felt like Easter Eggs that barely got any highlight... poor dudes like Gligar, Dunsparce, Misdreavus, Sneasel, Skarmory and a whole ton of others really didn't get a chance to shine, being ultra-rare encounters on specific routes that didn't get the highlight that they deserve. Fortunately later generations were extremely kind to the second generation.
But enough rambling, let's go with the list!
#10: Suicune
Bringing up number ten is Suicune, the legendary beast of water. As time went by, my opinion of the three legendary
cats dogs beasts of Johto has plummeted quite a bit, because they look kind of overdesigned. Yeah, I get that they're going for the regal oriental guardian beast look with them, but they honestly look slightly messy.
Pokemon Adventures, that really great Pokemon manga, tries its best to make Raikou, Entei and Suicune look cool by turning Raikou's weird mane into something that can expand into an actual thundercloud, and giving Suicune, easily the coolest of the three, a ginormous role in it. I'm not a big fan of Entei's face, and while being a saber-toothed tiger is cool Raikou kind of is a bit meh to me from a design standpoint, with so many colours lobbed in. The most cohesive design I think is Suicune, with the purple mane and the light blue lupine body working well with each other, that huge crystal on his forehead and those... weird... whip-ribbon tail things? Yeah, Suicune looks cool but nearly twenty years after the fact and his design kinda still doesn't make sense.
I don't care, though. Suicune was the mascot of
Pokemon Crystal, which was the version I played, he was a great character in the manga, and he was cool in his short role in the fourth Pokemon movie. Plus I had a pretty sweet-looking limited edition trading card of the dude I got form buying a booster pack box or something.
#9: Scizor
Now I've always thought that Scyther and his sleeker, more raptor-esque design and his scythe-arms and his long locust wings looked cooler than his evolution, Scizor. But as the years went by, holy shit, I've definitely fallen in love with this red metal bug-man. There's honestly nothing to it beyond him being cool and powerful as fuck (even if being flicked with anything resembling fire is going to make Scizor spontaneously combust into cinders and die) that put him on the list. I've used a Scizor a grand total of once as a party member in my playthroughs, but man I love the fucker. He's cool. From the red metal sheen to the almost robotic look to the two giant pincers... Scizor was actually apparently supposed to be Scyther's rival-counterpart thing in Generation I, as I understand it, so we would have the classic stag beetle/rhinoceros beetle relationship with Pinsir and Heracross (also cut from Gen I), while Scyther and Scizor would be these more humanoid bugs... but no, Scizor and Heracross had to be cut out because we needed room for trash like Jynx and Hypno.
#8: Celebi
Now I generally don't like the 'pixie' legendaries in Pokemon. I sorta don't mind Jirachi and Mew, but I suspect that's owing more to watching their movies a lot of times, and having their TCGs as kids. I also hold an inordinate love for Victini... and I honestly can't tell you why, because I still think his weird V-ear thing and his stupid puffy leg-wings look stupid, but I kinda like the bugger. But I absolutely loathed Meloetta, the Sinnoh lake trio are the most boring legendaries in the franchise, and I forgot Manaphy exists like, every time. But Celebi? Celebi I loved. Again, it might be because of the fourth Pokemon movie, and her being a huge plot device in the manga, but I've always liked Celebi's design a lot. She's just this simple-looking forest fairy with, yeah, a bit of an onion-head and pixie wings, but her time-travel and forest-healing powers are cool. I like these Pokemon who's associated with a powerful element like time without ridiculously hyping it up like "GOD OF TIME" Dialga. Celebi's a Grass-Psychic, which was a cool yet sadly impractical typing. But she rocks the typing hard and puts on a much better show than Mr. High-on-drugs Exeggutor. I was a bit bummed because out of all the pixie legendaries I thought Celebi was going to get the Fairy type, but I guess they didn't wanna change Pokemon with established dual-types.
Putting both Suicune and Celebi on this list kinda makes it look like I like the fourth Pokemon movie a lot, huh? I don't like it
that much... I think my favourite Pokemon movie are the Jirachi and Giratina/Darkrai ones, but it's definitely one of the fonder things I remembered from the second generation period. And, well, like Suicune, I actually had a Dark Celebi card that kicks all sorts of ass in my short-lived TCG period. And I was like super-happy to get a little Celebi from the Pokemon Bank! Keeping some Pokemon exclusive to events is absolutely aggravating for someone who doesn't live in the US, UK or Japan, but man, finally after so many years I got myself a little time-travelling onion fairy.
#7: Sneasel
Oh man, Sneasel is a cool dude. He's just... cool. I was a bit surprised to learn in Generation III that he was part-Ice instead of just being a pure Dark-type, but man, I loved Sneasel. It's 100% thanks to the
Pokemon Adventures manga that had Sneasel be the signature Pokemon of the resident jackass rival, Silver, but holy shit Sneasel is cool! From his asymmetrical ear designs to his claw-arms to his just lithe, assassin-esque look and him being the coolest weasel in the world... Sneasel is just one of those designs that strikes the perfect balance between simpe and complicated and looking absolutely great. She's a wee bit too frail for my tastes, but hey.
#6: Skarmory
Skarmory is a thing I didn't realize exist until Generation III because he's a very rare encounter in one very specific route in Generation II and not a single trainer used him in the game despite the game having Steel-type and Flying-type gyms, what the hell. How can you design something as kickass as Skarmory and not feature him more? Skarmory looks awesome. His design is honestly quite simple too, he's literally just a vulture made up of metal blades. His face-beak is blades, his wings are blades, his tail is blade-like, his claws look like they can tear off your face... Skarmory just looks like it's gonna fuck you up, yet being made up of steel also gives it an impression of durability, so it's not gonna fall easily like your frail Alakazams.
In practice Skarmory's honestly not that impressive. The bugger's hard to find and a bit hard to catch, but I raised a lot of Skarmories during my playthroughs of Generation III. He's... honestly not that good in battle other than looking cool as all hell. Man, this thing really craves for an evolution or a mega-evolution that can make it kick ass. How the hell did freaking Aipom get considered for an evolution and not Skarmory?
#5: Houndoom
I'm a dog person. Always have, always will. I absolutely adore dogs, but there was a distinct lack of a proper dog Pokemon in Generation I. The Eeveelutions were more fox-like than dogs, and had a lot of feline features thrown in. There was Growlithe, I suppose, but that felt more like a crossbreed between a lion and a dog. Then come Generation II, and we got the ugly-cute humanoid bulldog Snubull... and we got a motherfucking devil hound straight out of hell. Houndoom.
I'm surprised they actually got away with this thing considering how 'omg Pikachu is Satan' silliness that a lot of people were freaking out about. But man, Houndoom is awesome. He's literally just the fiercest, coolest doberman you can find, with devil horns, a devil tail and some bone ornaments stuck on his body and legs for good measure. Houndoom is insanely cool-looking. And of course despite falling in love with the thing the moment I saw a Houndoom in I think the manga first... Houndoom was nowhere to be found other than like the second-last area of the post game or something. Damn it, Generation II! Later generations were a bit kinder by letting Houndours spawn a bit earlier, but the sheer prevalence of other Dark and Fire types kind of stifle out the appeal of Houndoom. I still love him, though. He got an honestly kinda-underwhelming Mega Evolution in Generation VI, but damn if he doesn't look boss as fuck.
#4: Azumarill
Azumarill is a Pokemon I didn't give a shit about until Generation VI, where it inexplicably gains Fairy as a second typing over a lot of other more obvious candidates. Azumarill's most prominent role in the games was actually in Generation III, where Azurills and Marills were... well, not quite everywhere, but quite prominent in the third-to-sixth-gym stretch. I didn't really remember seeing a lot of them in Generation II, though the anime definitely loved Marill. But Azumarill's a cute design that still exudes some kind of durability, and Azumarill was actually the first competitive Pokemon I bred. Yeah, a Belly Drumming physical Azumarill that then proceeds to wreck house with Aqua Jet and Play Rough is practically impossible to murder and hits hard, fast and bombs down half of your enemy's party with her insane coverage, but man, I loved my Azumarill, which was the result of breeding two boxes' worth of Marills to get that nature and IV. (Her name's Ashley.)
She's kinda derpy looking, but she
will fuck you up.
#3: Cyndaquil
Cyndaquil is the cutest starter and that was 100% the reason to why I picked him. Chikorita and Totodile aren't exactly bad, but I kinda didn't like Chikorita that much for trying too hard to be cute... and that's saying something, considering that she's a dinosaur and little-me
loved dinosaurs. Totodile's another cute one but back then I didn't like Feraligatr too much. But Cyndaquil? Look at the cute little buddy! Look at this cute little... um... mouse? Anteater? Porcupine? He's a little baby rodent-thing with stubby arms and eyes that can't open and his back is on fire! He's just precious. I like Typhlosion too, but compared to all the other starter Pokemon I've picked over the six generations he's definitely outclassed in design and performance compared to my Venusaurs, Swamperts, Blazikens and Torterras. Typhlosion will always hold a special place in my heart, but moreso than him is Cyndaquil, my precious little flame mouse.
#2: Espeon
I just said that I hate cats like two entries above, but Espeon is an exception. If not for number one below, she would be definitely my favourite Generation II Pokemon and by a huge, huge margin. I absolutely loved the concept of Eevee and the Eeveelutions, but the reason they weren't in the Top Ten Generation I list is simply because, well, I loved the others more. And besides, my Eevees spend like three levels as a pampered Eevee before being turned into an Espeon. I mean, yeah, I don't think there's a single Eeveelution that I actually actively hate. Jolteon, Vaporeon, Flareon, Umbreon, Glaceon, Leafeon, Sylveon... they're all cool in their own way. But Espeon? Espeon's my faovurite. He's just so regal. He just screams 'psychic' without looking too obvious about it. He was introduced during a generation that introduced friendship evolution, and as a child that was extremely appealing -- wow, my Pokemon loved me so much that it evolved into a more powerful one! Yeah, Espeon's weird two-pronged tail is kinda odd, but his purple coloration to her regal pose to that red gem on his forehead to the very cool-looking face... And Espeon is a pure psychic and she's outdone by, well, Alakazam, Reuniclus, Gothitelle, pre-Fairy-Gardevoir, Mewtwo, et cetera, et cetera. I don't care. Espeon was the one I journey throughout Johto and Sinnoh with, and he was the second most-powerful member of my team during my very long Platinum playthrough, being an absolute bro and just wiping out everything in his path. My Espeon does really only two things: Psychic and Shadow Ball, and the odd Signal Beam or two, but he does them all with the strength of a truck and he's part of the Platinum team that I've grown very, very attached to, what with being the first team I raised to 100 and everything.
My Espeon is such a bro that I ported him over from Platinum all the way to Y, and super-trained him properly so he's a monstrous psychic-shadow-ball-shooting Egyptian cat god. Yeah. I love Espeon. He's just this awesome psychic cat and I generally hate cats. Espeon is literally the only one exception in which I absolutely love.
Honourable mentions go to Typhlosion, Chikorita, Togepi, Sudowoodo, Sunkern, Wooper, Foretress, Tyranitar, Wobbufett and Ho-Oh.
#1: Crobat
Man, people give Zubat so much shit for being common. And yeah, Zubat can Supersonic you, but you're in a cave. A cave filled with bats makes sense... it's the Geodudes, Gravelers, Roggenrolas and Boldores that always pisses me off. And honestly I've always liked Zubat and Golbat, but it was Crobat that made me love the line very much. Crobat's purple, which is my favourite colour, and I initially thought he had a stupid face... but man, after getting to see a lot of Crobats both in fan art and in official work -- Anime!Brock and Manga!Janine had pretty cool Crobats -- I've grown to absolutely adore the dude. He's flapping around on four wings, all four of which can basically act like daggers when he uses things like Steel Wing or whatever. And it can still suck your blood and leave you to die. He's a bat! Bats are cool. Because Batman.
But for real, Crobat is another one of those things that evolve by friendship, and as a kid I've always thought that my little Zubat (I always catch the first Zubat I see and raise it up) loved me so much for being selected out of the swarm of faceless Zubats in the cave that everyone brushes off as annoying pests that it wants to grow stronger and stronger into a respectable Golbat and finally into this insanely powerful thing. Crobat is extremely frail, but it hits for respectable damage (Flying's great, and Poison isn't anything to laugh at now) and Crobat is insanely fast. Like, very, very fast. As of generation VI, only thirteen Pokemon can boast to have a speed faster than Crobat, and nearly all of those are either Mega Evolutions or alternate forms of Deoxys. The only 'base' Pokemon to be faster than Crobat are Electrode, Acelgor and Ninjask. That's right, not even the mighty Mewtwo or Arceus can outspeed Crobat! Yeah, he's frail as no one's business, but that doesn't matter when he swoops in and slits your throat with a Cross Poison.
I've always loved Crobat. I used one sometimes in my Gen III days and loved him, but it was in Generation IV where my Crobat, Nightwing, was an absolute monster that wrecked everything in its path. And since then I've made it a point to always, always include a Crobat in every single team I play, even when I went and played Generations II and III on emulators. Crobat's a bro. (All my Crobats are inevitably named after Batman-related names)
And here are my top five least faves:
#5: Stantler
Yeah, this weird-ass deer is just... weird. It's one of those obscure non-evolving Generation II Pokemon that only shows up in a single route. It looked like it had something going on with it because the anime had him be able to create illusions or whatever with those weird eye-shaped antler things, but as it turns out... Stantler's just a very, very boring Normal type. He doesn't even look cool or have insane amounts of stats like Chansey, Miltank or Tauros, or have a gimmick like Ditto or Porygon. Stantler is just... there. And he looks ugly and uncreative. Even early-route rats can get their movesets boosted by TM's. Stantler? Is just there. And he's bad. Other super-rare yet useless normals like Dunsparce at least has a weird enough design to be fun and memorable, but Stantler's just ugly.
#4: Hitmontop
The idea of a top Pokemon that goes around kicking people with razor-sharp legs is not the worst as far as Pokemon goes... I mean, I accepted that a half-dozen eggs have psychic powers and a hive mind and evolves into a three-headed, high-on-weed coconut tree. But Hitmontop is just... silly looking. If it was just its design I wouldn't put him on this list, but he doesn't even look like he could be a good Fighting-type that represents capoiera. And lumping him into the same group as Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee -- who look like they can kick ass -- really kind of makes me dislike him more. And honestly, Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee have names based on action movie actors, Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee. But Hitmontop? He's a top. Yeah.
Also making a Hitmontop for the Pokedex is a huge and utter pain in the ass, because you have to have
equal Attack and Defense stats. It's ridiculously difficult especially in the earlier generations, and instead of getting cool-looking powerhouses like Hitmonchan or Hitmonlee, you get this... stupid thing that's a lot worse than the other two.
#3: Smoochum
Jynx has a baby. Now Smoochum isn't racist, but honestly her design just weird me out because it's so humanoid yet at the same time not at all. It's like what those creepy dolls from horror movies would look like in Pokemon. And the fact that it uses its mouth to just kiss and inspect everything... yeah. Smoochum is better than Jynx, but I still dislike her.
#2: Tyrogue
They needed to make a pre-evolution for Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan and Hitmontop. Okay, I respect that. Gotta have something to tie those weird two paired Pokemon that don't evolve into each other, and a branching Eevee-style pre-evolution kinda sorta works, even if choosing between three Fighting-types (okay, two, because who is going to pick Hitmontop) isn't as awesome as choosing between a fire, water and electric type... but did they have to make something as godawfully ugly as Tyrogue? From that weird deformed head, to those nipples, to the weird testicle-thighs, to the unflattering colour scheme... Tyrogue is absolutely ugly, absolutely useless and absolutely pointless. The point of Baby Pokemon, other than padding out the Pokedex, is to show us cute little things that help to add a bit of world-building to the franchise and the population of the Pokemon world. Tyrogue is just a little shit.
#1: Unown
I've talked about Unown at length in my
Least Favourite Pokemon list, and I rank Unown as number four there, higher than Jynx or Hypno. What is the point of Unown? Really? The third movie hyped them all so much as this eldritch abominations from another dimension that take the place of the alphabet and have some weird wish-granting reality warping powers that allows it to create a motherfucking Entei out of nothing that is driven by the desires of its creator. The Ruins of Alph and all the other Unown ruins throughout the generations have had this aura of mystery around them. Solve a puzzle, unleash these odd creatures. And honestly they could've served as something. Collect all 25 alphabets and unlock a legendary or something. But they have
nothing. They only learn Hidden Power, which is a move that literally every other Pokemon can learn via TM, and their stats are
shit. Their design is lazy, they are pointless, and despite being hyped up as being a tentacle-less Cthulhu-esque thing, they end up being... well, weaker than a Rattata.
