Teen Titans S03E05 Review: The Ghost of Your Past

Teen Titans, Season 3, Episode 5: Haunted

Easily my favourite episode of this season. I might be biased because I enjoy Robin and Slade's dynamic a lot, and this episode is surprisingly a dark one. Not that dark episodes are instantly good -- that's a big no-no from me -- but damn if this episode doesn't showcase how great Teen Titans can be when they suddenly do a mood swing and go for the dark. 

We have the apparent return of Slade once more, and Robin is obsessed as ever with ending Slade. The Titans talk of Slade in no uncertain means that he was destroyed and gone in the climatic battle against Terra in season two's finale, all without using the word 'death'. But Robin is savvy as all hell, and he refuses to give up and starts falling back to his obsessive hunter mode that he was during his worst in season one. 

Hell, even before the gas attack hit Robin, we even have him reading through Slade's case reports and inspecting Slade's artifacts for no real reason, which Cyborg points out. He's a lot more relaxed here and we're treated to this as him just being kind of diligent and not yet obsessed, but still. 

After a short distraction with the welcome return of Cinderblock (who, I think, is the villain who makes the most appearances without having spotlight episodes) we get a beautiful fight between Robin and Slade, and, well, the audience gets to see eventually that this awesome fighting scene is only happening in Robin's mind. He's Fight Clubbing himself, while Starfire only sees Robin screaming into thin air... while Robin sees Starfire standing still and letting Slade get away. Considering what he sees, Robin's anger is understandable. 

The thing is, the ghostly apparition of Slade actually offers Robin some explanations, and considering the setting -- and this is Slade, mr. crazy-prepared himself, Robin totally buys it -- he's got selective invisibility technology. He's just that good. The seismic plot device things are well hidden. The point is -- Robin can't stop him. Robin refuses to believe the other Titans, while the other Titans, well, just see Robin going crazy in Slade's old hideout... a very atmospheric fight as the lights go in and out and Slade appears and disappears and it's creepy and awesome like no one's business. And, man, Slade gets all the most awesome lines.

And rather uncharacteristically for this show, we get to see Robin get bloodier and more injured and more tattered as he fights Phantom Slade, and the injury shows in mental form as he gets more deranged. We get the absolutely sad scene as Starfire is forced to put Robin down with her starbolts when Robin starts threatening the other Titans -- it's a very sad expression but she knows she must do it, and it's a nice, subtle yet powerful moment.

They restrain Robin in the Tower, but of course Robin, being Robin, finds a way out to fight 'Slade', who, honestly the episode makes a pretty good point to make us question if Phantom Slade is actually a real thing at all -- even if he's an incorporeal ghost. Raven's attempts to see into Robin's head causes the mental manifestation of Slade to punch her in the face, and she notes that regardless of whether the Slade is real or not, he is real to Robin -- and thus the mental and physical stress can and will kill him. 

Slade and Robin continue to fight in the Tower's basement, again a very atmospheric scene that actually puts Slade's fights with Beast Boy and Terra during the season two finale to shame. Robin finally figures out that Slade is uninjured, and can only be seen in the dark, and thus figures out that, yeah, he can't see Slade if he switches on the lights. It's a nice moment where Robin manages to figure everything out on his own, his personal journey against a pretty literal inner demon, but his friends -- Starfire and Raven in particular -- really helped him out without pulling the anime cliche of shouting a long friendship speech to jar him out of his evil illusions. 

And, yeah, in addition to being uninjured and only appearing if the scene is dark, the animation of the episode really shows a lot of hints about Phantom Slade's true nature. His footsteps are all bereft of sound effects, and while Robin and Starfire have 'being rained upon' effects, Phantom Slade doesn't. 

Yeah, there's the whole talk about the chemicals in Slade's mask (how insanely well-prepared was he?) but even Robin himself admits that it's partly triggered by his own obsession to fight Slade, noting that they're fighting so long against Slade that it's hard to think of him as permanently gone. There's the little dark hint at the end that the signal in the mask was triggered from an external source, and Slade's mask glow red... but this particular cliffhanger and mystery is never really addressed, unless like Slade's already running around at this point? Whatever the case, though, a masterful episode.

DC Trivia:

• When Raven is in Robin's mind, we get quick flashes of Robin's backstory -- his parents falling from the trapeze to their deaths, and shadows of Robin swearing an oath in the Batcave to Batman.
• Silkie (of course) and the Puppet King's body both make cameo appearances. 

The Flash S03E10 Review: Future Event Chalkboard

The Flash, Season 3, Episode 10: Borrowing Problems From The Future

Not a very strong start to the second half of season three, I'm afraid. First up, can I just say that I don't care about the STAR Labs grand opening sub-plot at all? Because I don't. H.R. is entertaining throughout the third season when he's relegated to the background cracking funny jokes and butting heads with Cisco or Joe, but when the spotlight is cast upon him, it turns out that he doesn't really quite have the same amount of interest as either of his two Harrison Wells predecessors do. Add that to Cisco uncharacteristically acting like a huge, huge twat to H.R.'s plan to reinvigorate STAR Labs for no real good reason, and the constant focus on the unfunny malfunctioning hologram, and we already have a relatively significant portion of the episode that's just mindless filler.

The other B-plot, with Caitlin struggling to keep her powers in control (because she forgets to charge her power-suppressing bracelets) and Team Flash trying to bring Julian into the fold is also retreading ground from episodes directly preceding this, and none of what happens in this episode really ended up being interesting enough. So Caitlin gets a new necklace, and Julian's an official member of Team Flash... not the biggest developments ever. In a different, far more content-packed episode, it would've been a fine B-plot, but not when the H.R. subplot is already m'eh, and the supposed main meat of the story -- dealing with Barry seeing the future -- isn't especially good either.

And that, I think, is the biggest factor. In theory, having Barry try to avoid the future would be interesting, with H.R. talking about how sometimes the future is immutable and trying to change it sometimes causes the very thing they're trying to avoid to happen instead. The thing is, with Flashpoint, and Reverse-Flash, and the Legends Team all having shown up at various points in Barry's life, he knows the future can be changed, so it's a bit of a weird point why he's agonizing so bad about this, not unless he's actually seeing the dominoes fall and the events actually progress like how time wants it to despite efforts to change it. 

At least Barry doesn't keep it a secret from everyone for long, revealing it to Iris and the others... but not Joe. Jeez, 'keep an important secret from a member of the cast' is done to death in CW shows. The prospect of repeating this is absolutely irritating. 

There's a nice bit of time-travel stuff, though, when Barry and Cisco vibe their way to the future to observe how things have changed, noting a list of events that would indicate that they're making their way to 'Savitar kills Iris', which include, well, things that are absolutely shit to our heroes. In addition to the glorious mention of the Music Meister (which is good news, surely?) we get references to how Grodd will return and devastate Central City, how Killer Frost is still at large, and how STAR Labs shut down. This puts Caitlin and H.R.'s struggles throughout this episode in jeopardy in addition to, y'know, the whole Iris's death thing. For now, though, all we really have is cryptic foreshadowings, creepy flash-forwards and a chalkboard list.

Meanwhile, Barry and Wally have to deal with Plunder, who's... a bit of a throaway villain, if a cool-looking one. He's basically just your average normal dude with a gun and a cool costume, but what a cool gun with heat-seeking bullets, forcefield grenades and all sorts of fancy stuff that makes him stand out among a slew of disappointing villains this season, at least visually. I don't think he has more than two lines throughout the whole episode. Cool villain, cool action scene, and Wally taking him down was awesome. There was the drama where Barry is conflicted about arresting Plunder in fear of causing the future to pass, which was a bit weak, but eh. 

Overall, a relatively weak episode. The strong character beats from the Barry/Wally, Barry/Iris and Caitlin/Julian dynamics salvage it somewhat, and we get some really awesome action scenes, and the mysterious time-travelling woman in the end, but otherwise not a very engaging episode, to be honest. 

DC Comics Easter Eggs:

• Plunder (a.k.a. Jared Morillo) in the comics is a member of Wally West's rogues' gallery (having Wally take credit for defeating Plunder in this episode is a nice nod to that), and in the comics he's similar to his portrayal here -- a non-powered dude with a very advanced gun. In the comics, though, Plunder was brought over by Mirror Master from another dimension, where he murdered his counterpart in our Earth and impersonated him in addition to terrorizing the city.
• That jackass cop telling Kid Flash to move to Keystone City is a reference to how in the comics Wally actually operates out of Keystone City instead of Central City.
• McSnurtle the Turtle, the pet turtle that H.R. gives to Barry during the housewarming party, is the 'secret identity' of Jay Garrick's Golden Age talking turtle sidekick, the Terrific Whatzit, who is a talking turtle with super-speed. Because Golden Age. McSnurtle was actually referenced in the show earlier, in 'Revenge of the Rogues', as the name of Iris's childhood stuffed toy. 
• The glowing snowflake necklace that Cisco gives Caitlin actually resembles the trademark necklace of the original Killer Frost, Louise Lincoln. 
• Music Meister, mentioned in the newsreel, is a villain from the cartoon series Batman: The Brave and the Bold, who has the power to cause everyone around him to sing like they're in a musical. It's a glorious concept. 

Legends of Tomorrow S02E09 Review: Hanna-Barbera Cartoons

Legends of Tomorrow, Season 2, Episode 9: Raiders of the Lost Art

So the plot for January's episode of Legends of Tomorrow involves the Legends having to rescue George Lucas from the Legion of Doom in order to preserve the history maintained by him making Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies.

Sometimes I forget how hilariously silly some of these superhero comic book plots are. With so many modern adaptations playing up generic doomsday weapon plotlines, or deep angsty character drama (not that those two don't have their places in superhero fiction, mind you), it's absolutely refreshing to have something with such an absolutely silly and campy plot like this. It's not entirely moronic, of course -- it's still told with a fair amount of seriousness as we move the Rip Hunter and Spear of Destiny plotlines along, but as far as stories go, it's definitely one that doesn't really lend itself to a lot of seriousness.

So, basically, Rip Hunter wasn't actually undercover, and he's actually lost a huge chunk of his memory thanks to tampering with the Waverider's time drive, which not only stranded him in the 60's, but he also gets his memory jumbled up. So now Rip is Phil, someone who's trying to direct a sci-fi movie based on fragmented memories of his exploits. We even get 'Phil' angrily berate the actor playing 'Vandal Savage' for not being menacing enough in a nice bit of meta-humour.

And who else but George Lucas that acts as Rip's prop director? A conflict between the Legends and the Legion of Doom (the name is a catchy one, no?) causes George Lucas to get so freaking terrified that he swears off moviemaking, which causes a bit of a chain reaction that causes both Ray and Nate to lose their knowledge about science because without the movies that Lucas made, those two won't be inspired to become a scientist and an archaeologist respectively. It's a bit of a silly thing and frankly the way the time travel transformation is portrayed is a lot more for laughs (compared to, say, Martin Stein discovering that he's getting memories of a daughter he didn't have a week ago, or anything in Flashpoint) but eh, it's not a big, super-serious episode.

The real good parts of this episode, of course, is allowing Rip Hunter's actor to flex his acting muscles. He's been stuck for the majority of season one just basically being a British stuck-up leader with a heart of gold, or crying over his dead family, and never really had the opportunity to actually act beyond those two sentences, and seeing him play a terrified civilian thrust into all this madness -- he even swaps the British accent for an American one -- is a bit of a delight.

The B-plot has Mick finally address his hallucinations of Snart to Martin Stein, and the two have a bit of a hilarious subplot as they try to find out what's wrong with Mick. There's a bit of a red herring when it appears that it's the time-ghost of Snart transmitting things into a device in Mick's head implanted when he was Chronos, but Stein removes it, it's apparently not even active -- meaning that, yeah, Mick does have emotions and he is hallucinating Snart. There's a bit of a hilarious moment where Sara keeps walking into their hush-hush conversations, earlier in the episode with Mick and Stein covering it up with Mick having very bad migraines, and twenty minutes later Sara and Jax walks in to Stein doing "brain surgery, what does it look like?" The subplot ultimately is a bit juvenile in how it's written, and could've had more revisions, but it's still entertaining simply on the strength of the two actors.

The main plot was serviceable. It's definitely not one of the stronger episodes of Legends, as fun as it was, with Rip's note that in his movie, the Spear of Destiny is a 'MacGuffin', the thing that everyone fights over, and that is the most perfect description of what the Spear plot is in this episode. Both the spear and the weird mystical Longinus thingie are simply things to be fought over with very little history or relevance to the plot.

Perhaps one of my biggest problems is how... weak Malcolm Merlyn and Damien Darhk ended up being in this episode. It's always fun to see the two already hammy Arrow seasonal villains ham it up, and they don't disappoint in that regard, but as two men with merely above-average martial arts skills (well, Darhk is immortal, but that's not helping him out much) they don't really stand up much of a chance in combat against the Legends, and act like two stooges that the Legends just prefer to avoid than to fight. There are several scenes where they just run after the heroes ineffectively shooting their space guns like total idiots, which, while undoubtedly hilarious, doesn't really make them that threatening. Especially when Merlyn screams like a little girl when Vixen tosses him bodily during the junkyard fight.

Merlyn and Darhk gets absolutely trounced in that fight, by the way. Between Vixen, Citizen Steel and Atom, the number of super-powered characters out of the two assassins are just too much, and it's Reverse-Flash zooming in and saving the day. All I'm saying, well, these two really kind of need a power-up or something. Like, maybe give Malcolm Merlyn some super-awesome trick arrows or something?

Still, even if it's not the pinnacle of good storytelling, it's still a very fun episode to waste 40 minutes watching regardless.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Nate gave the Legion of Doom its name, citing that he remembered it from an old Hanna-Barbera cartoon he watched as a kid. The Legion of Doom, of course, is the name given to the group of villains in the Hanna-Barbera produced Challenge of the Super-Friends. Presumably the equivalent in the CW-verse doesn't actually star DC characters, though.
• Howard the Duck is briefly mentioned among the films that George Lucas was responsible for directing, and both Nate and Ray quickly shoot down Amaya's attempt to add it into the pile of movies they were going to binge-watch. Howard the Duck is an ill-fated adaptation of the Marvel comics comic... and while DC and Marvel both have a history of portraying each other's superheroes as fiction within their respective universes, Howard the Duck does deserve some derision.
• This is a George Lucas-centric episode, so obviously there are a lot of shout-outs to Star Wars. Maybe Indiana Jones, too, but I'm not that geeked-out on that particular franchise. Star Wars references I caught (beyond the obvious spaceships and laser guns) include Han Solo mentioned by Ray, Amaya telling George that he's their "only hope", and the group being trapped in a trash compactor about to squish them and using a long chunk of metal to try to stop the compactor ineffectively. Perhaps somewhat ironically, the only person in the Legends Team to not know about Star Wars, Amaya, is portrayed by an actress that also acted as a minor character in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. 

Agents of SHIELD S04E05 Review: Built on Trust

Agents of SHIELD, Season 4, Episode 5: Lockup

Shit, I totally forgot about Agents of SHIELD! I'll try to be more succinct with this barrage of reviews. Anyway, episode 5 was a bit of a filler episode. We're still hunting down the ghosts, although now we have some brain stem injections that help to neutralize the madness they cause, and Ghost Rider, well, he's basically the ultimate ghostbuster. Ultimately this episode is truly a filler episode, designed more to show the new dynamics with Quake returning to the fold of Team Coulson and Ghost Rider having to play nice with them. Ghost Rider is still the strongest part of the show, I think, and I am very glad that they're finding a great balance between letting Ghost Rider's story stand on its own, while still not taking much away from our cast of snarky secret agents.

There's a larger focus placed into action in this episode, with the majority of the cast going into a prison to get Eli Morrow away before the ghosts arrive, and Ghost Rider sends at least two back to hell with his awesome fiery chains. I cannot understate just how awesome Ghost Rider's effects are, despite the relatively low budget of this TV show. Quake's got her own awesome scene too. Unable to use her powers without shattering her bones, we get to see some badass martial arts moment when she locks herself in the cafeteria to fight an entire army of unleashed prisoners. It does show a little bit of self-blaming Messiah complex thing going on with Quake, causing Coulson and May to backtrack to bail her out. We get some solid moments with May comparing Quake's own feelings of guilt as being similar to her before Coulson pulled her out of the cubicle, and we get the offhanded drop that May saw Coulson when she died briefly last episode. Huh.

Also cool is the fact that Coulson's robotic arm can create a holographic Captain America shield. What the shit, have we ever seen this already? This works so well on so many levels. 

While the rest of the cast are dealing with the escaped prisoners and restoring the infected ones, Ghost Rider meets the final member of the gang that attacked him and his brother in the past. This dude is reformed, however. A bit of a douche, but he's doing his time in prison and isn't even participating in the riot. Robbie is absolutely pissed off, but he learns that someone actually paid for the hit -- except that this particular dude doesn't know anything about it, and everyone else who knows are dead because some dude in a flaming skull is hunting them down.

In one of the most badass Ghost Rider moments to date, we get a closeup of Robbie's head transforming into the Ghost Rider (always a cool scene), the terrified screams of the prisoner asking for God to help, then we see the rioting prisoners outside as the cell literally explodes with hellfire, and this demonic leather-clad man with a flaming skull walk out and every single prisoner runs back to the safety of their cells. Badass.

Of course, this show of badassery and vengeance -- despite Mack telling Robbie not to deviate from the mission -- leaves their target, Robbie's uncle Eli Morrow, being kidnapped by the one remaining ghost, Lucy, and they absconded away to do whatever they're going to do. 

Meanwhile, Simmons has to deal with a polygraph test despite being a pretty shitty liar. She has to cover up not just the knowledge of Team Coulson running around independently, but also the existence of Aida. She barely manages being caught by the polygraph because Director Jeffrey Mace, ever so nice and reasonable (no sarcasm here) asks her to help out as the voice in his ear while he talks to the jackass anti-Inhuman Senator Nadeer, providing facts and the like. There are some nice nods to his own acts of heroism, and when finally confronted with a couple of hard questions, Mace shuts Simmons out and tells the public that, well, he's qualified because he's an Inhuman himself. 

His ratings quickly skyrocketed, in no small part due to the simple charisma that Jeffrey Mace himself inherently has -- what a great casting choice -- but Simmons manages to wiggle out of having to return to the polygraph test by telling Mace that she knows that Mace is lying about his heroics in Vienna. Simmons doesn't exactly know what, but she knows Mace is lying, and this little bit of anti-trust between Simmons and Mace has them be put on stalemate. It's fun to see Simmons's frustrations and later her cheery 'fuck yea I've won' face as she exits Mace's office.

Mace's honestly just a decent guy, just one that happens to be obstructive to our heroes, and honestly I don't really think he would have too much conflict with letting Coulson do what he's doing if they had only consulted him -- or at least kept him in loop. It's a bit hypocritical for Coulson after three seasons of getting angry at the likes of Skye or Lance or Ward breaking on their own, but the conflict is still there... and thus Mace gets blindsided during a private meeting with Senator Nadeer when shown images of SHIELD agents participating with Quake in the prison, and especially Ghost Rider executing some random model prisoner. It's something that Mace has no idea how to prepare, and the fact that Ghost Rider himself is a loose canon with his own code of honour (the angelic-demonic spirit within Ghost Rider knows who's guilty and who's not, but that doesn't really count in a court of law, does it?) that Jeffrey Mace doesn't even know about... yeah, it's not a good day for the director. 

This does build up the previously seemingly squeaky-clean Mace as slightly more sinister, but I really like Mace and I honestly hope he can actually be respected by Team Coulson as one of the good guys, because at this point he's honestly just trying to do his job.

All these are actually very solid storylines -- Jeffrey Mace, the little B-plot of Aida, Ghost Rider and all his origins, this mysterious tome of evil... but there's one huge problem, really, that the Darkhold ghosts just kind of look terrible and act terribly. I don't begrudge cheap makeup, but the fact that we're five episodes down the line and we don't know anything about the ghosts other than their powers and how they got here (science experiment with demonic magic go kaboom) makes them extremely boring antagonists in SHIELD's list of antagonists, and they don't really seem threatening enough to really carry the season or half-season as Ghost Rider just literally one-shotted all but one in less than two minutes. 

Marvel Easter Eggs Corner:

• The references to Director Mace being the hero of Vienna refers to the events of Captain America: Civil War, where the U.N. summit in Vienna was bombed by a mind-controlled Bucky. Mace is also mentioned as a 'patriot' thanks to these events. His comic-book persona is, of course, called the Patriot. 
• Simmons getting out of lies by speaking technical truths calls back to how Ward broke the similar polygraph test back in season one. 

Nanatsu no Taizai 204 Review: Genocide

Nanatsu no Taizai, Chapter 204: Let There Be Light

Bit of a predictable chapter, but still interesting to read nonetheless. We get to see how determined Meliodas is to ending the war, the similarities between Ban and Law are noted by Gloxinia-King, and, well, Gloxinia-King pulls off some Big Brother Instinct towards Gloxinia's sister Gerharde. We don't get to see much of the ground group, though, because the majority of this chapter focuses on Elizabeth and the Ten Commandments that are present there, especially Derriere.

It's a bit sad to think that half of the Commandments present (Galan, Merascylla and Fraudrin for sure, Monspiet and Derriere a huge maybe) are dead, some of them dying less than satisfactory deaths, but at least we're still getting to see some of them do things in this chapter. Derriere is the most curious out of the bunch, being the one who always swears vengeance towards the goddess clan for killing the children of the demon tribe.

The confrontation from Elizabeth -- who genuinely doesn't know of Ludociel's plans -- and the members of the Ten Commandments plays out pretty much how you expect it. There's some grudging trust between Elizabeth and Derriere, the former who wants to try and sort things out without bloodshed, and the latter grudgingly trusting this goddess. The panel where Elizabeth tells Derriere that even if the other goddesses say no she'll do something about it, earning a smirk from Derriere, is well portrayed. 

Of course, Elizabeth drops all pretenses of deals when Meliodas is concerned, much to the amusement of Galan and Monspiet. Man, I miss Galan. Did we ever see him have these cool looking shadow wings?

Ludociel shows up and announces that Elizabeth has done a good job at keeping the demons occupied, causing Derriere to lash out and whack Elizabeth down -- completely understandable, honestly, because, well, whether she meant to or not, Elizabeth did serve as a distraction. Too late for any of the characters -- whether Meliodas, King, Diane, Elizabeth or the Commandments -- to do anything, the demon civilians are lifted up in this huge energy bubble they call the Ark, having their magic drained... and apparently Derriere's brother is within it.

Ludociel just clenches his fist and the entire Ark and every demon within it gets smooshed out. Galan, Merascylla and Fraudrin are more angry than anything, but Derriere's expression is absolutely livid. No wonder she's so fucking angry all the time in the present. The ending promises a battle between these five members of the Ten Commandments against two more of the four great Angels, which I definitely do want to see. I... really like the Ten Commandments, that's why. 

One Piece 853 Review: Voices, Third Eyes and Chicken Egg Man

One Piece, Chapter 853: Not Here

Sadly, we didn't get to see what happened between Brook and Big Mom, but we did get to see the conclusion. As cool as it was to see Brook stand up to Big Mom a couple of chapters ago and as much as the little Brook fan in me wants Brook to just defeat Big Mom and that's it... nah, it's not going to happen. Big Mom is actually a little fascinated with Brook, holding the dude in her hands while the other homies try to look for whatever Brook might have stolen... and apparently the paper with the Poneglyph scribblings on it isn't around?

Also, Brook lost to Zeus, Prometheus... and Napoleon, Big Mom's hat. Apparently these three particular homies actually have Big Mom's soul, so either it's a different power, or she cut some of her own lifespan and put it into a cloud, a cartoon sun and a fucking hat. Big Mom is all like 'sorry for suspecting you' and actually seems very cool with Brook sneaking around in her prized room and beating all her soldiers up as long as he doesn't actually steal anything. What a strange woman, that Big Mom, though I guess she's going to keep Brook as part of her collection so I dunno.

Also apparently she made a 'mistake' back then with Roger that allowed him to reach Raftel, and apparently Roger is able to hear the Voice of All Things that allowed him to read the poneglyph... so yeah, that's yet another layer of mystery over the whole Voice of All Things... thing. So far I think only Luffy, Momo, Shirahoshi... Shanks maybe? Can hear it. That's interesting.

Pudding then shows up and the manga is still keeping it delightfully ambiguous whether Pudding is actually evil or just pretending to be evil to drive Sanji and the Straw Hats away. For one thing, she's actually pouting and pretending to be a spoiled brat, something that she didn't really have to do in front of Big Mom. On the other hand... if she's evil, she's crazy so who knows? Also, her line of thought, "well, he's been captured. It should be fine" could mean either she's happy that Brook has only been captured and not killed, or that it's fine that he was stopped before he could steal anything. Also apparently Pudding is a half-breed of a race called the Three-Eye Tribe, who apparently can also read the poneglyph? This is all very strange and confusing and interesting, but we cut away.

In one of the most bizarre powers in One Piece and indeed the history of anything, apparently everytime Baron Tamago gets sliced, he evolves into an even more powerful chicken. So we have Pedro fighting Viscount Chick. So yeah, not only does he evolve from an egg to a chicken, he also ranks up from baron to viscount. Very creepy that the embryo that hatched from his 'Viscount Chick' form just squiggles around there, and apparently it'll evolve into Count Chicken? Pedro makes the wise move of going off to end all of it right there, pulling out a long string of dynamite and blowing the gathered soldiers up.

Except he doesn't die, of course. I mean, this is the Pell thing all over again, but at least here we see how Pedro survives -- Chopper and Carrot just drags him into the mirror dimension, and after a brief hilarious moment where Carrot asks the mirrors to look for the Straw Hats, drawn in Bishonen style. Just look at that beautiful rendition of Pedro, and that Brook -- his afro got turned into Marge Simpson's hair!

Meanwhile Luffy is still rampaging and gets help from Reiju, and the art makes his pain obvious, with blood splurting out of between his bandages when Reiju pulls him in particular. Reiju and Luffy do a little catch-up game, but Luffy gets reminded of his mission when Reiju offers him food, and he just buggers off out of the window to return to the meeting spot. We get a brief moment of Sanji remembering about the shit he's found himself in, and thinks to himself. "Luffy, there's no going back now." Hopefully he means 'if we pick a fight with Big Mom and Germa, there's no going back' instead of 'I can't go back to the Straw Hats'. Sanji has more sense than that.

So yeah, the Luffy bit was honestly a bit boring, but the Pedro bit was absolutely bizarre, and the Big Mom/Brook conversation is cool. A pretty uneventful chapter, honestly, but still a pretty fun read. 

Fairy Tail 519 Review: Yep What We Expected

Fairy Tail, Chapter 519: Dragon or Demon

Welp, that was what we all expected. It did take five to six whole pages for Erza to shatter the meteor, which was the absolute height of idiocy, and apparently Wendy can enchant dragon-slaying magic into things. Which is a power which we have never, ever seen before -- it's always been either healing or generic strength/defense/speed boosting. So yeah, chalk another 'pulling out a power out of your ass' moment for Fairy Tail, though this is at least a power that kinda makes sense.

But apparently a single slash and Eileen reverts out of her dragon form. Remember those minor dragons that aren't even cool enough to get names from the Future Rogue arc? Remember how actual barrages of dragon-slaying magic couldn't even do anything but irritate them and maybe slow them down a bit? Yeah, queen of dragons my ass.

Also of course Eileen is revealed to not be completely heartless, is touched by baby Erza and left her behind and didn't kill her. And it's this same smile that causes Eileen to hesitate now. Which, as godawfully written and so blindingly obviously set up as this was, would still be an... okay plot point. Not a good one, not even a half-decent one, but it would be something I could live with.

So she stabs herself in the stomach. Is she going to mortally wound herself before doing the body-trade thing with Wendy again? Is she going to do something remotely intelligent? Nah, she just kills herself because she can't bring herself to kill Erza. Like, leave the dying kid behind and just continue fighting for Alvarez, you dumb shit. There are other soldiers that can finish the job for you. Also, you have been trying your best to murder her for the past five or six weeks. I mean, yeah, "don't laugh at me I love you" my fucking asshole, you just broke all of your daughter's bones, disowned her, tried to possess her body and dropped a fucking meteor on her all in the expanse of three chapters. I knew this was coming -- I know Fairy Tail is a series incapable of not subverting the very obvious cliche of friendship and love conquers all, and I've been expecting this stupid nonsense plot point to happen ever since Eileen set foot on the scene, and it still manages to exceed my expectations on how horseshit it is. I mean, it's not "Because it's Erza" levels of stupidity, but then I actively hate Eileen and I didn't mind Kyouka that much. So.

All Erza can manage to do is headbutt people in the chin at this point anyway, such a sorry state that she's in (and apparently Azuma, Kyouka and all the rest of the super-strong guys that Erza fought never managed to break her bones enough when it's just a bitchslap from Eileen), why not lock her up in a dungeon? Or something? Nah. Eileen's just a big, big dumbass, who loses the little dignity she has as a threatening villain by proving that she has less brain cells than a rock.

Who wants to bet next chapter we'll have Wendy heal Eileen and she's going to be FRIENDSHIP?

What a fucking idiot manga this is. It's not even possible to really defend this portion of the arc, really, or honestly Fairy Tail at this point. I'm done. 

Teen Titans S03E04 Review: Norton Antivirus

Teen Titans, Season 3, Episode 4: Crash

It's a filler, funny episode and despite just having the cast (and guest star Gizmo, who definitely outshines his HIVE buddies at this point) muck around with an absurd plot. It's also far, far more entertaining than the serious yet bland previous Starfire-Tamaran episode. It's not the best thing out there, and the moral is basically 'don't fuck around with potentially-dangerous-things' and 'ask permission from your friend before you use their things', because Beast Boy wants to play like the newest Torrented smash hit game, and apparently it's such a gigantic thing that.... um... Beast Boy needs to use Cyborg's super-high-tech computer? What kind of insane game is that? Jeez. 

It's mostly a comedy episode as Cyborg gets infected by a virus that causes him to see everything around him as food, while Beast Boy enlists Gizmo's help, and the two of them shrink down to enter Cyborg's system. They had to fight the computer virus -- which somehow apparently have replicated into like an actual robo-bacteria army, because computer virus totally function like real-life viruses. It's all just some insanity, with some hilarious visuals with Gizmo and Beast Boy.

I thought it was awfully dark for them to leave Gizmo behind and not even make a token attempt to find him. Yeah, the kid's a villain and he's a total douchebag, and he did try to 'deactivate' Cyborg instead of fight to the bitter end and hope for the best or whatever, but come on. He actually kept his end of the deal and didn't try to betray the Titans -- he just didn't see that he could save Cyborg by turning into, well, snot.

It actually strikes a bit of a balance between comedy and Beast Boy's guilt, and while we didn't really get proper character development beyond 'Beast Boy feels sorry', it isn't as annoying as it could be, considering a good chunk of the screentime is taken up by Beast Boy and Gizmo, two of Teen Titans' most noisy and annoying characters. It's actually some good fun between them, though this episode, I must stress, isn't a particularly good one. 

Boku no Hero Academia 124 Review: Phasing Powers 101

Boku no Hero Academia, Chapter 124: The Quickening

Mirio is awesome, isn't he? Todoroki isn't joining in because he hasn't gotten his provisional license yet, and neither is Bakugou because I forgot he's still in house arrest, but Mirio still manages to take down everyone else. Yes, there is Midoriya not shaking in his boots and going "we need to figure out his powers!" which impresses both Mirio and Emo-Kid (who likens the other students' panicking to someone who's all 'holy shit it's awesome' when presented with an athlete's skills without knowing the proper workings of it).

There's a cool moment where Mirio sinks through the ground and pops up behind Midoriya, phasing through his Full Cowl strike, blinding him by phasing his fingers through his eyes, and punching him in the gut with a solidified punch. Yeah, all of them goes down from single punches, and they all note how OP Mirio is, please nerf. There's actually an interesting theory posed by Ashido, that maybe Mirio is a hybrid like Todoroki, having both teleportation and phasing-through-matter powers. 

Mirio then explains that his power, Permeation, allows him to phase through objects, but if he cancels his powers while being submerged in the ground, the mass can't overlap and he gets catapulted out instead. It's one of the more curious applications of phasing powers, addressing very neatly something that many other superheroes with phasing powers just prefer to ignore -- what happens if the power cancels out when you're stuck inside a solid object? 

But Mirio reveals that his quirk is a pretty shitty one, which is a theme in this series -- like Midoriya, who's gifted with a powerful quirk as well, Mirio's quirk actually hides a lot of disadvantages, and he has practiced very, very hard to overcome them. How when he's phasing, he truly is phasing, obeying the laws of Physics that come with that. His ears and eyes no longer conduct sound or light, his lungs can't breathe, he can't feel anything, yet he still has mass so he can fall. And even phasing through a wall is shown with a diagram of how he has to activate and deactivate his quirk on different parts of his body... and he has to be able to control such minute-management in combat.

Mirio notes how he wants to show off not his power, but his experience, and it's this experience he wants Class 1A to seek, basically. Mirio also notes to his fellow Big Three that Midoriya might like this enigmatic 'sir'. 

We get some hilarious scenes later on in the dorm -- namely Bakugou going "BRING YOUR TRASH TO MEEEEEE!" in the background with Tokoyami raising his hand, while everyone else is talking and discussing about internship. Midoriya tries asking Gran Tourino, but he's busy and unwilling, and after a brief discussion Gran Tourino directs Midoriya to All Might's former sidekick.

So yeah, apparently the sidekick business is alive and well in the world of My Hero Academia. All your Robins and Wonder Girls and Superboys and Buckys and Aqualads, you still have a job here. I think the dude in the suit is supposed to be the aforementioned sidekick? He's the leader of a squad that's chasing down Overhaul (dude with the plague doctor mask and the creepy powers we saw briefly before)... who's apparently made contact with Twice (hilarious as ever) and Shigaraki. Well, time for more villains to have fun together. That's always good. 

Justice League Unlimited S01E13 Review: Batman Beyond

Justice League Unlimited, Season 1, Episodes 13: The Once and Future Thing, Part 2 - Time, Warped

So the first part of this two-parter finale ended with our heroes finding themselves in pursuit of time-thief Chronos and landing in the future, specifically, in the time era of Batman Beyond, besieged by the Jokerz gang, helped out by their future successors, the Justice League... and while it might be planned or just happy coincidence, one of the members in the future JLU's lineup is Warhawk -- who addresses Green Lantern as 'dad'. And he's definitely more likely to be Hawkgirl's child than Vixen's... so what does that hold for Green Lantern's future?

Of course, Lantern isn't the only one to get a glimpse of the future, because Batman gets to see his successor in a swanky-new all-black suit with wings... as well as Future!Bruce Wayne, who is easily the best part of Batman Beyond, this old curmudgeonly dick. Who, despite all the years of vigilantism and superheroing, is still the same man that was once Batman, and one of the most hilarious scenes in the DC Animated Universe is the present and future Batman taking turns to interrogate a random mook to get him to spill. "I can't believe I was ever that green. THIS is how you interrogate someone!"

How the episode plays out is pretty basic, and for all the important character questions that the episode asks, very little that actually gets answered. Other than the coolness of seeing three Batmen on scene, or Green Lantern seeing his old protege Static grow into one of the leaders of the future Justice League, there's very little that the group takes to heart. Even Green Lantern is just going with the "eh, that's a trippy trip, let me continue living my life" when it comes to the Vixen-vs-Hawkgirl. Sure, the seeds of doubt have been planted, but beyond that the whole two-parter remains a pretty fun, isolated episode from the rest of the Unlimited series.

And I loved it, because this second episode doesn't just introduce a slew of characters we've never met before (well, Jonah Hex aside) and bum-rush through just what they're all about. Sure, they did an admirable job with what little screentime they had, but this part is far stronger simply because you can feel the weight behind the characters of Static and Batman II, both of whom had headlined their respective shows. I've only watched half of Batman Beyond's first season and maybe the first three or four episodes of Static Shock, but the appearance of these characters are filled with respect and a huge moment for me to squee even if these aren't characters as iconic to me as, say, the three Justice Leaguers from the present.

Of course, it's a slightly-altered future, because in this timeline altered by Chronos, the Justice League is reduced to three people -- Batman, Static and Warhawk, plus old Bruce Wayne running as the boss. It's not quite the same lineup as the Justice League Unlimited that we met during the Batman Beyond series -- we get mentions that Superman and Green Lantern's successor died during Chronos and the Jokerz' battle with them.

And yeah, the future stuff in general is darker, and it's not just because Future Gotham has such darkened lighting compared to the harsh suns of the wild west either. In addition to the crapsack references of their old friends all dying, we also get one of the most brutal (and at the same time most hilarious) deaths in DC history, where Chronos sends one of the Jokerz that failed him to death... by throwing him back through time so he is present when the meteor that killed the dinosaurs struck the Earth.

Still, the action scenes are as lively as ever, in no small part due to the characters involved being so much more colourful in their powers. I mean, one of the Jokerz is a rocket-powered hyena-man! And as the story goes, Chronos falls more and more into insanity. He gets the respect he wants from his wife, but it's a respect he obtained out of his wife being afraid of him more than anything (she wants Chronos to assert himself, not destroy the universe!). He's stolen so many historical pieces and has a gang of cyborg clown enforcers to do what he wants to do, but at the same time he's still angry and lashing out, equal parts tripping on his newfound powers as well as still feeling empty and unsatisfied.

As his time manipulations go on, Wonder Woman straight up disappears from existence, and in one of my favourite Easter Eggs ever, we get a little swapping in and out of Green Lanterns as Hal Jordan replaces John Stewart for a whole scene, which is hilarious. They fight Chronos, and we get the pretty epic scene of Batman, Green Lantern and Chronos tumbling through time straight into the beginning of time, where older DC fans get to freaking squee at the unexpected cameo of the Hand of Creation from Crisis on Infinite Earths. (You either get this reference or you don't. It's okay.)

The ending is a bit of a slightly anticlimactic cut to Batman and Green Lantern hanging out at the cafeteria table again, with the cut on John's head that he got protecting Warhawk in the future the only indication that they had time-traveled. Even Wonder Woman doesn't seem to remember anything... and while it probably won't amount to anything, one would think that Batman's knowledge of what his future would be -- a protege and he himself an aged grumpy old man still fighting the fight -- as well as John and his whole Warhawk business... will haunt them.

Of course, they fare a lot better than freaking Chronos, who's stuck in a time loop of being bitch-slapped by his wife forever and ever and ever and ever. That is the kind of fate that I would prefer a bullet to the head to, thank you very much. Batman can be a huge dick about things when he want to.

As far as season finales go, this was more on the whimsical side, with a huge smattering of fanservice for DC fans, and definitely doesn't rank that high if I ever do a ranking of the episodes of Justice League. But still, you can't deny the sheer entertainment factor of this bizarre two-parter, and if nothing else, Chronos is a very memorable villain for how much of a fucking loser he is even when he manages to wreck time itself.

Justice League Roll Call:

• Speaking Roles: Batman (Terry McGinnis), Warhawk, Static, Batman (Bruce Wayne), Green Lantern (John Stewart), Wonder Woman, Bruce Wayne of the Future, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)
• Non-Speaking Roles: Vibe, Dr. Light, Mr. Terrific, Booster Gold, Stargirl, Gypsy, Supergirl, Hawkgirl
• Major Villains: Chronos, Ghoul, Chucko, Dee Dee, Woof, Bonk

DC Easter Egg Corner:

• Hooo boy. Basically everyone in the future timeline are old friends, all of them other than Static debuting in Batman Beyond.
• Terry McGinnis, the second Batman, naturally, is the main character. 
• Static, a.k.a. Virgil Hawkins, is the star of the Static Shock show, and was one of the youths who was exposed to a meta-bomb that gave powers to many people in the area. Virgil himself got the power to create and control electricity. While his stories were mostly contained to his own show, Static had some episodes where characters from the then-concurrently-airing Justice League show up. Usually only Green Lantern (both of them share the same voice actor) but sometimes the entire league. Apparently, in several episodes, Static was sent to the future and worked together with Batman II and an episode established an older Static to be a member of the Justice League of that period.
• Warhawk and the rest of the Justice League Unlimited (who are only mentioned but not seen here, having died in this alternate timeline) appeared in the Batman Beyond episode 'the Call'.
• There are multiple incarnations of the Jokerz gang over the years, but the five that we see here are the incarnation that appeared in the movie Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, albeit modified into cyborgs by Chronos. 
• Green Lantern references a former team-up with Static, noting that the last time they met, Static wasn't old enough to drive. 
• Hal Jordan, of course, is the most well-known Green Lantern in the franchise's long history, being the definite Green Lantern with people like John Stewart and Guy Gardner playing second fiddle to him. The DCAU, of course, chose to adapt John Stewart as their Green Lantern partially to add racial diversity, but also partially because at the point that the show aired, Hal Jordan had gone evil and died. Also because, to be honest, before he became Parallax and later Spectre... Hal Jordan was never that interesting. 
• The Hand of Creation is seen as this giant spectral thing clutching the universe at the beginning of time. John states that the Green Lantern Corps prohibit anyone from seeing the beginning of time, which is a reference to a critical part of the Crisis of Infinite Earths, where a rogue Guardian, Krona, looking into the beginning of time caused the multiverse to be created.

Justice League Unlimited S01E12 Review: Magnificent Eight

Justice League Unlimited, Season 1, Episode 12: The Once and Future Thing, Part 1 - Weird Western Tales 

The big finale for Justice League Unlimited is one of the few two-parters to grace the series, a stark difference from its predecessor, Justice League, which had two-parters throughout the season. Season finales for cartoons without an overreaching storyline is a bit hard to do, and while Unlimited has been spreading the roots for the Cadmus plotline, it's not quite there yet and will not be realized until we reach the second season. The first season of Justice League ended with a three-parter involving time travel and a big bad villain, Vandal Savage. The second season of Justice League ended with something that was built up over two seasons, the Thanagarian invasion and everything revolving around Hawkgirl. Here, we take a formula similar to the first season finale, where it's a time travel episode that's... honestly a bit filler-y in the grand scheme of things, but still a huge treat to watch.

Last time in Justice League, the impacts of time travel was felt when Vandal Savage's time-travel and informing his past self of future technology transformed history and created a dystopian future ruled by him. Superman also dabbled with time travel, being accidentally sent to a bad future where mankind was wiped out due to Superman being removed from the timeline and thus no one stopped Vandal Savage from causing humanity's extinction with a weapon, but in both cases the League and Superman (respectively) returned history to what it's supposed to be.

In this two-parter, the villain of the week is Chronos, a.k.a. David Clinton, a.k.a. a freaking loser. David Clinton is truly the definition of a loser, being this stringy man who simply just looks pathetic. Henpecked by his verbally-and-physically-abusive wife, a washed-out scientist, he had apparently discovered time travel but was unable to prove it. The show portrays Chronos's loser status and the verbal abusiveness of his wife very well, because he ends up snapping and going back into the past to steal things that are actually matter. This, of course, brings him into conflict with the Justice League when one of those things is Batman's Utility Belt.

Meanwhile, in the present day, we get some more character work to the main cast, something that's overdue for the main cast. Hawkgirl returns to the fold last episode as a permanent member of the team... and she's not being welcomed with open arms by everyone, and one that's particularly harsh on her is Wonder Woman -- though we don't get to see much of this particular bit. The scene lingers most on Batman and Green Lantern in the cafeteria (I cannot believe I just typed this sentence). Batman acts like any dude does when such an awkward setup does, and asks John about how he's going to deal with Hawkgirl coming back. John claims that he's moved on and is very happy with Vixen, something that Batman scoffs at. John, of course, calls Batman out on his crush on Wonder Woman, which Batman tries his best to deny. It's a bit of a hilarious moment for both characters involved, and suddenly they're no longer these larger-than-life godlike beings that they've been built up as because they're the senior members of the league, but act more like school friends or coworkers.

This little character work gets broken up when Chronos attacks, and this causes Batman, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman to charge after Chronos... and end up in the time era of the cowboys! Yeah, we're going full Legends of Tomorrow and going off to visit the more exotic time periods of DC this time around. We've got the World War era heroes before, this time around we're going to be meeting cowboys, a facet of DC history that is a bit hard to tell a story in a superhero setting without resorting to tricky time travel madness.

It's hilarious to see these three absolutely curb-stomp bandits before dressing up as cowboys, and apparently the town of Elkhorn has been taken over by the villainous Tobias Manning, who beat up Chronos and stole one of his futuristic gun. After going through some of the expected cowboy tropes, we're introduced to a smattering of very welcome minor characters. Jonah Hex is obvious to anyone who's been following this blog for any time, having shown up in Legends of Tomorrow, in a full-feature movie of his own and several other material (Batman: Brave and the Bold, for example) outside of comics. But we also have Bat Lash, Sherrif Ohiyesa Smith and El Diablo (no, not the dude from the Suicide Squad movie), cowboys and heroes from a different age, colourful characters with fun designs and voices. They don't get much each, but there's enough. Ohiyesa Smith is the sheriff driven out of town and a sense of justice. Jonah Hex is the cool one with the fucked-up face. Bat Lash is the smooth-talking con-man who gets captured. El Diablo... er... well, three out of four isn't bad.

The episode itself is simple, our heroes needed to take back the time-travel stuff and the space gun from Manning and his cronies, and we get a glorious, glorious fight as Manning brings an army of robots, mechanical dinosaurs and tanks to fight the magnificent seven heroes (and the tagalong Chronos) as they charge into battle.

It's a simple story, with cowboys and shoot-outs and Batman throwing batarangs, and nothing really much to talk about... but at the same time, it's fun. I've never liked or cared much about cowboys, not really, and it's only things like Jonah Hex and Vigilante, making them far more interesting and very fun heroes. Chronos buggers off to a different timeline... the time of Batman Beyond, a show that has long been cancelled and ended by the time this episode aired, showing yet another nod of respect to another closed-off section of DC lore. And to make it relevant (beyond just the sheer coolness factor of Batman meeting Batman and another Batman), future Justice Leaguer Warhawk sees Green Lantern, addressing him as 'Dad'. Oh yeah, this is going to open up a huge, huge bottle of confusion for poor Lantern.

Justice League Roll Call:

• Speaking Roles: Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, Green Lantern, Batman, Bat Lash, Batman II, Warhawk, Static
• Non-Speaking Roles: Gypsy, Stargirl, Booster Gold, Supergirl, Commander Steel, Elongated Man
• Major Villains: Chronos, Tobias Manning, The Jokerz (Chucko, Dee Dee, Woof, Ghoul)

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Chronos, real name David Clinton, was not from the future in the comics, but he was still a time-travelling villain. He was imprisoned for a crime that he failed to execute due to some bad timing, and thus he studied time while in prison and started off his career of crime as a villain that is synchronized with time and using clock-based gimmicks. He fought the Atom, and eventually developed devices that could actually influence the flow of time and allow him to travel through time.
• The Cowboys:
• Jonah Hex is the iconic DC comics cowboy. Running around with a scarred face and a penchant for violence, Hex was a cowboy who was torn between his loyalties to the South during the Civil War and his distaste for keeping slaves. He eventually became an independent bounty hunter, hunting down criminals according to his own code of honour, mostly bandits and whatnot. He's been known to work with time travelers and become one himself.
• "Pow Wow" Smith (who's called that exactly once in the episode), real name Ohiyesa Smith, is a Native American sheriff who is also a skilled detective. He's the lead feature on Western stories in DC for a fair time, but otherwise there's not much to him. He's since became a bit of a generational character, with his law-enforcing descendants in the present day also calling themselves 'Pow Wow Smith' in his honour.
• Bat Lash, a.k.a. Bartholomew Aloysius Lash, is a violence-hating man with a devil-may-care attitude towards the world. A stark contrast to the stern Pow Wow Smith or the badass Jonah Hex, Bat Lash was a gambling ladies' man that, of course, also had a good sense of justice. Despite having a short-lived series after his debut, Bat Lash proved popular enough to have many, many (also short-lived) revivals over the years.
• El Diablo, a.k.a. Lazarus Lane, bank teller who was put into a coma after being robbed by thieves and struck by lightning. After waking up from the coma, he adopted the persona of El Diablo and became a harsh vigilante -- basically a cowboy Zorro. However, it's a bit of a sinister resurrection -- the real Lazarus Lane is actually slumbering in the body while a minor spirit of vengeance takes over his body as the 'El Diablo'. (This El Diablo is not to be confused with Rafael Sandoval or Chato Santana -- the Suicide Squad one -- both of whom are modern-day DC characters who also go by the name El Diablo.)
• Tobias Manning is a cowboy villain, who would later go on to call himself 'Terra Man', in the comics a villain who did originate from the Wild West era, but was abducted by aliens and modified and/or trained to be powerful. He broke free from his alien overlords and returned to Earth only to find that centuries had passed, and became a minor Superman enemy for a time.
• This isn't Jonah Hex's first appearance in the TAS universe, because Ra's Al Ghul once encountered Jonah Hex in the past during the Batman: TAS episode "Showdown". Batman seems to recognize Jonah in this episode, presumably from Ra's telling him that story way back when.
• The Jokerz and the future members of Justice League Unlimited all first debuted in Batman Beyond. Static debuted in Static Shock.
• The subtitle for this episode, 'Weird Western Tales', is a DC comic title where western-styled heroes like Jonah Hex debuted.
• Jonah Hex's line about having an interesting life and being unsurprised by ray-guns is a reference to how in the comics he had often been time-transported to the present day or the future because he's easily the most popular of the cowboy heroes.

Teen Titans S03E03 Review: Starfire's Tentacle Hentai Fiance

Teen Titans, Season 3, Episode 3: Betrothed

This episode isn't by any means bad, it's just... not good. Rather, it could be so much better. Other than the brief hints to Robin's past with Batman and Cyborg yearning for a time when he was human (which are honestly a bit too subtle than they could've been), we never really got any mention of origin stories. Here we get a bit of Starfire, whose whole deal is that she's an alien princess. Which the show never mentions, and Starfire's all like, 'wait, you guys didn't know?'

We get to go to Tamaran, Starfire's homeland, and the plot is pretty standard, really. We learn that the (obviously evil) Blackfire has arranged for Starfire to be married to a blob of green ooze and tentacly-lips which crawled out of some creepy hentai. We go through a token 'it's a cultural difference, we must respect it' plot where Robin's so obviously jealous of everything and is trying to prevent Starfire from getting, y'know, married. They discover that, of course, Blackfire is evil, Starfire does a trial by combat, and ends up giving a big fuck you to the whole Tamaranean culture of marrying. Because it's a Saturday morning cartoon aimed at kids, no one protests. I mean, it ain't Game of Thrones, after all, otherwise everyone here will probably be murdered in a wedding if Starfire chooses to marry out of love. 

The thing is... Teen Titans usually don't have much problem with turning simple plotlines entertaining. Just look at the last episode, which is more or less a plotline you can find in any action cartoon. But this episode is just so boring! Tamaran, despite being an alien planet, is boring -- Starfire, Blackfire and their adoptive father are the only people there, and it doesn't really feel like an alien culture if not for the visuals. The action scene between Starfire and Blackfire are some of the most boring in the series, and Blackfire still fails to impress as a villain. Robin and Starfire's romance is utterly obvious, and while it's not bad by any sense it's still rather boring.

I dunno. I just really felt bored watching this episode, and it really offered very little in lieu of entertainment value. And that's a shame, because even the most fillery of Teen Titans episodes generally have some fun entertainment factor. 

Teen Titans S03E02 Review: Red Hood

Teen Titans, Season 3, Episode 2: X

On the surface, this seems like just a cool episode with a cool guest star villain. Some random dude has stolen Robin's Red X costume and is going around using it to commit crimes. It's honestly highly confusing why Robin has the Red X suit powered with such a powerful power source (Xenothium?) that the Titans had to go on full alert to stop the new Red X from breaking into highly classified locations to steal the Xenothium. But while I used to find this episode just... a filler episode back in the day, I thought this was actually a pretty good episode.

See, back then I was obsessed with looking for clues as to who Red X is, and we never get an answer to that -- Red X is mysterious, a Magneto or Catwoman-style anti-villain who isn't entirely evil, but definitely not on the side of the angels. He's a career thief and has no qualms at beating the Titans up, but at the same time he has enough of a code of honour to help Robin, even if it's to pay his debt, and ends up calling it a fair game when Robin gets the drop on him at the end of the episode. 

But Red X, and even the episode's real villain, Professor Chang the geriatric wrinkly obviously-evil mad scientist, is ultimately a tool for Robin's character progression. Robin has to confront the mistakes of his past -- and while I could argue that said mistake is not destroying the highly dangerous Red X suit, or better yet incorporate it into his current suit -- and confronting that, yeah, the world isn't entirely black and white.

In these later seasons Robin doesn't get a lot of screentime to really shine as he did in season one, because I can only think of one other episode that truly spotlighted on Robin's character, while elsewhere he takes on the reasonable team leader role to bounce other characters off of, or to act as a ship-mate for Starfire. And I absolutely appreciated this episode. Robin's self-blaming and his guilt, well-deserved or not, is evident throughout all of this. 

And besides, Red X is absolutely cool, and the animation in this episode certainly gave both Robin and Red X a lot of fantastic action scenes. Is it just me, or was Robin, in his guilt and angsting, is shown in a more Batman-y way, with more draping-cape shots?

Overall it's a pretty decent episode, giving Robin a surprisingly great character arc over the episode, introducing the cool and mysterious Red X to save for later episodes... and, um... Professor Chang's just a bad villain, isn't he. I guess they're going for a parody of the ever-so-classic 'evil scientist building a giant cannon' of the oldest superhero comics and cartoons? Chang's just bad. I don't know. He annoys me.

Also they actually snuck in a rectal probing joke in a kid's show with Cyborg putting on a latex glove when Beast Boy suggest checking if Robin's a robot. These kind of jokes utterly amuse me because I have the maturity of a five-year old.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Oh boy, Beast Boy's insane theorycrafting is just filled with DC Easter Eggs. In addition to Larry (who appeared in season 2) and a time-travelling Nightwing (Robin's future identity), Beat Boy suggests Jason Todd, who is Dick Grayson's (the Robin in this show) successor as Robin when he joined the Teen Titans and adopted the identity Nightwing. Jason Todd did 'steal' someone's old identity and become an anti-hero in the comics as the Red Hood, but despite the name resemblance Red Hod wasn't introduced in the comics until long after Teen Titans ended. Beast Boy also makes a 'part of a Clone Army' which is a reference to Star Wars, and a long lost brother -- in the movie Batman Forever, Dick has a brother who is absent in all other depictions of the character. No idea what 'bionic monkey' and 'evil twin' are supposed to be Easter Eggs to, but they're likely to be random theorycrafting things thrown in.

Justice League Unlimited S01E11 Review: Mercykilling 101

Justice League Unlimited, Season 1, Episode 11: Wake the Dead

If you told me before I was watching this series that Solomon Grundy would be the character that drew tears from my eyes, I would have laughed in your face. Rudely. Well, Solomon Grundy's death way back in Justice League was sad, but also cool in that it's heroic. However, he makes a return in this episode and it's honestly very tragic as we get our first proper Hawkgirl episode in JLU. (Yes, she's abandoned the name Hawkgirl in-universe. No, that's not going to stop me from calling her that.)

Also, if you told me that I would be super-invested in a love triangle in this show of all things... yeah. The execution of love triangles in fiction have always irked me. It's a very simplified way to inject romantic conflict between supposed allies, and, yeah, it's realistic and all... but when adapted into shows or comics or whatever, it's an easy shorthand to just doing some huge filler in the name of romantic progression. I could easily point out various shows that get bogged down and dragged down so badly due to examples of this trope. But Justice League Unlimited introduces a love triangle that, while initially sprung upon us out of nowhere, felt very satisfactory, very self-contained within this episode, and develops both the two old love interests (John and Shayera) while making the newcomer, Vixen, a likable character that isn't just a catty bitch meant to come between the way of a previously happy couple.

But let's put the romance subplot on the backburner and talk about the setup of this episode. A bunch of stupid little kids muck around with a spellbook they bought online to curse their bullies. In real life, all this would get you is disappointment. These kids live in the world of DC comics, though, so what they got was a resurrected immortal swamp zombie in the return of Solomon Grundy. As with his comic book counterpart, though, Grundy's resurrection only brings back his body, and none of his former self's bumbling brute characterization made it out of the grave.

Solomon Grundy's rampage attracts the attention of two different groups. First, it interrupts Green Lantern's date with his new girlfriend Vixen (Superman tags along too). And it being Solomon Grundy, it also attracts the attention of Hawkgirl, bringing with her the people staying in Fate's Tower -- Fate himself, Amazo and... Aquaman? Who's hanging around, I guess?

Honestly, that short scene in Fate's Tower where Amazo uses his powers to levitate a chess set into place and asks Aquaman for a game, and Aquaman's absolutely incredulous expression at being challenged to a game of chess by a godlike android is hilarious.

Anyway, Green Lantern and Hawkgirl accidentally meeting up after Hawkgirl leaves Green Lantern behind undoubtedly leads to some... awkwardness. Hawkgirl has been absent for a significantly long time, and while we didn't really get to see a lot of Green Lantern (he's got like one episode where he's a main character, and while he's not as shafted as poor Flash was, his presence isn't felt as well as some of the other characters) in this season, the dialogue and general tone of the story does show very well that a significant amount of time has passed. Granted, Lantern does seem like he has a type of woman -- the independent, very assertive kind. Hawkgirl, though, has been almost entirely absent other than that one cameo in Fate's Tower.

The writers do an impressive job at showing just what Hawkgirl has been doing in that period of time, though. The opening chess game between Hawkgirl and Aquaman in Fate's Tower, where Aquaman is absolutely LIVID that Hawkgirl has absolutely no fighting spirit to compete even in a simple game as chess (Amazo's happy to oblige him) shows just how broken the formerly trigger-happy war lady has been reduced to. I'm honestly confused just why Aquaman is chosen -- he did work with Hawkgirl and Fate before during the whole Ichthutu thing, yes, and while I'm not really complaining about Aquaman having more screentime, it does feel like an odd choice for what basically amounts to Hawkgirl's therapist. Though I guess Fate is looking for someone he can trust will hide Hawkgirl's existence (Aquaman doesn't play well with the other Leaguers, we know that) and is enough of an abrasive asshole to try and jolt Hawkgirl's fighting spirit back to life... and abrasive asshole Aquaman is.

The thing is, Hawkgirl is well and truly lost. She's not a superhero, she's not a Thanagarian officer, and she's not even John Stewart's girlfriend. There's no real reason for her to fight, or to resume superheroics, especially with everyone she can consider friends -- the humans and her own Thanagarian people -- considering her an invader or a traitor. It's not particularly apparent until the final scenes that the human hatred towards Thanagarians is still there,

What truly jolts Hawkgirl into action is the emotional bond she has to Solomon Grundy, and that slow scene when Fate presents her with an option to carve her own fate as her old Nth Metal mace swings into view from the void, and Hawkgirl takes it into her hand... it's a great moment that represents the kindling of her fighting spirit and her self-acceptance. Ideally we probably should've had a couple of scenes with Hawkgirl in previous episodes, but this is a wonderful way of showcasing just how far Hawkgirl has fallen since Starcrossed, how she has grown as a character, as well as the final legs of her journey to self-forgiveness... without having to sit through the possibly dull and repetitive journey. It's a bold move, because done wrong it would be shoehorned character development, but here I'd argue that it's done right.

Hawkgirl wasn't given much chance to shine outside the Thanagarian plotline and her own romance with Green Lantern, but her episode with Solomon Grundy, befriending the simple-minded brutish zombie and eventually watching him die in heroic sacrifice, is one of the highest emotional points, and this episode aims to top that... by having Solomon Grundy return to life as a rampaging monster, and the animation really sells Grundy as a mindless, ravaging ghoul without even the simple dumbness that he had in his first appearance.

Grundy is presented as a legitimate threat this time around, and the two big hitters in their little party get neutered very quickly. Superman can't do shit because Grundy is magic, while Amazo makes himself scarce, banishing himself into deep space when he realizes that Grundy can siphon his own immeasurable powers. It's a bit of a shitty cop-out for Amazo considering how powerful he has been presented to be, but indeed, in that episode where Amazo rampages he didn't really face any magic-users. So it's justified, sorta.

I feel like all the talk of Hawkgirl would cheapen Vixen... so let's talk about her. She isn't a character I remember much of from JLU, because I think like any simple-minded child from back then I disliked her for getting in the way of the established One True Pairing. But now watching the show as an adult, Vixen was... an extremely pleasant woman, and not in the extremely saccharine way either. She's a genuinely likable person, and while she does have similarities with Hawkgirl as powerful, independent warrior women, she's notably different, being more down-to-Earth (obviously, since she's a human) and having a more relaxed sense of humour. And she would be a very great new romantic partner to John Stewart, too.

Hawkgirl's meeting with Lantern is a bit awkward, though she brushes it off quickly with a "I hate the beard" comment, which makes the message clear -- mission first, mushy feelings later. With Amazo and Superman neutered, and neither Lantern, Vixen, nor Aquaman really proving effective, Hawkgirl is forced to wield her special anti-magic mace and end Solomon Grundy... like a pet dog gone mad. For what it's worth, John does offer to do it for her, but she's strong. She goes down to the sewers Grundy has escaped to, and does the dirty did of mercy-killing the rabid beast that barely resembles the Solomon Grundy that Hawkgirl used to know.

Grundy's death is not quite as emotionally devastating to the audience, because, shit, it's just an angry zombie that's clearly not the Solomon Grundy we knew from before, not really, but the conflict in Hawkgirl's face when she is forced to do the deed herself really got to me, and it's a poignant scene and one of the few ways where the revolving-door-of-death in the superhero genre can actually be used for effective storytelling.

And really, one of the biggest chunks of meat in the story is when Hawkgirl comes out of the sewer. The public swarms around her, demanding answers, accusing her of being an invader and all that jazz, not helped by Green Lantern telling Hawkgirl that she's welcome to rejoin the Justice League whenever she wants because she was not voted out (Superman apparently broke the tie, voting for redemption because he himself has been turned against humanity before). Of course Hawkgirl finds a small silver lining because the mother and daughter she saved earlier thanks her life, and all the people around her -- Superman and especially Green Lantern being old friends -- accepting her, so at the very least, even when the world hates her, she has friends.

So yeah, we didn't get much in lieu of the love triangle -- though the fact that John has a girlfriend now is definitely placed squarely on the table. But Hawkgirl has apparently rejoined the League (kinda sorta), she has worked through her emotional issues, and... well, allowing a known Thanagarian traitor to rejoin this already uncontrollable army of superheroes is definitely not going to sit well with Cadmus, because 'she felt bad' isn't really going to cut it for them. So it's another strike against the Justice League in Cadmus's books, even if it isn't explicitly stated.

Oh, and in the middle of all this heavy storytelling? Aquaman with his badass bare chest and harpoon hand is using a giant octopus to stop a bridge from collapsing. You go, king of the seas. You go.

Justice League Roll Call:

• Speaking Roles: Aquaman, Hawkgirl, Amazo (well...), Dr. Fate, Inza, Green Lantern, Vixen, Superman
• Major Villains: Solomon Grundy

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Solomon Grundy's death and his friendship with Hawkgirl happened in the episode "The Terror Beyond", and it is established there that Grundy will be revived by the voodoo magics of the swamp he is bound to. Dr Fate also makes several references to his battle with Hawkgirl from that episode. The events of Hawkgirl's treachery and exile all happened in "Starcrossed", and the results of the vote from that three-parter is revealed here.
• As with "The Terror Beyond", the lineup of superheroes here homages the Marvel Comics team the Defenders. 'Reprising' their roles are Dr. Fate as Dr. Strange, Hawkgirl as Nighthawk, Solomon Grundy as Hulk, Aquaman as Namor... and this time around, Amazo stands in for Silver Surfer.
• Amazo finally gets referred to by its name in this episode! (Sadly, it's also the last episode Amazo appears in).
• In the dorm room where the nerd students do their ritual, there is an action figure of Hellboy (of Dark Horse comics fame), as well as a poster of Swamp Thing (who is from DC). Also in that room is a DVD of Wicked Scary, a fictional movie from the Teen Titans episode "Fear Itself. At the point that Justice League Unlimited aired, it was being produced alongside Teen Titans as a sister show.

Nanatsu no Taizai 203 Review: Bait

Nanatsu no Taizai, Chapter 203: Rueduciel's Plan

We continue the flashback arc with some talks about how the Ten Commandments and a group of demons called the Six Black Knights are basically rampaging, but the members of Stigma outnumber them. We get a conversation with Law and Meliodas about how strange it is for a demon to be fighting alongside their alliance, but Law's all nice and shit to Meliodas. 

We get a heated conversation between Elizabeth and Rueduciel (Nerobasta's whole existence is apparently just to get shot down whenever she opens her mouth), because Elizabeth is against freaking genocide, while Rueduciel notes that this was the plan from the beginning. Rueduciel has a pretty creepy moment when she leans down in front of Elizabeth and talks about how the demon clan is the embodiment of trash and insects and it's not part of their decree to consider the demons the same class of 'life' as every other race. She tells Elizabeth in no uncertain means that there are far better partners for her than Meliodas. 

We get Diane-in-Dolor practicing and training with some of the giant soldiers there, while King-in-Gloxinia makes it clear that the archangel they saw is individually stronger than the ten commandments. Also, Gerhalt (apparently officially parsed as Gerheade?) shows up and talks to King-in-Gloxinia very familiarly... and we get the revelation that Gerheade isn't Gloxinia's lover, but rather his sister. Although back then she was super sweet and nice, not at all like the Gerheade of the present. 

King asks Gerheade about the huge-ass magical presence, and while it's supposedly a barrier, it's actually live bait. Prisoners, to bait out the larger soldiers. And we get a pretty cool splash page of Derriere, Monspiet, Merascylla, Galan and that one dude who we saw last chapter leading a huge host of demons... so I guess we'll get to see some more fights between our heroes and the Ten Commandments in the past. 

Fairy Tail 518 Review: Friendship Speech & Meteors

Fairy Tail, Chapter 518: Master Enchant

Still not really engaging at all, as we slip back into a huge chunk of action manga tropes. Lots of vague explosion! Repetition of previous introdumps! "I can't lose"! Montage of flashback panels! Friendship speech! Random powerup into a dragon! Yeah, even by standards of a Fairy Tail fight there's very little that sets this apart from the others. Even Eileen's dragon breath isn't something creative or at least a cool-looking element, just a vague blast of energy that knocks Erza down and apparently breaks all her bones. 

Eileen talks about how she has Master Enchant that is higher than High Enchant, as if we know what the limits of a High Enchant is. Oh, hey, look, a meteor. All action mangas need to have a meteor falling down to Earth summoned by a powerful antagonist. Erza spends a long time using her hand to launch her body up into the sky and then apparently able to reorient herself mid-air all the while yapping and yapping about how she's got a family and shit, pulling a sword out of nowhere to slash the meteor.

Yeah, yeah. I honestly don't care. The only-one-arm-is-functioning thing is kinda cool while also being ridiculous at the same time, but Erza immediately ruins it by going into a five-page friendship speech. Also, the final page isn't Erza slicing the meteor but Erza just screaming randomly. Honestly, there would be ways to make this very procedural fight at least somewhat interesting. But no, it's just bad. 

Justice League Unlimited S01E10 Review: Vigilante and Shining Knight Ride a Horse

Justice League Unlimited, Season 1, Episode 10: Dark Heart

All of these dudes fight. Except Flash. Where the hell is Flash?

The last big ensemble cast episode was "The Return", but this episode brings in like almost the entirety of the huge extended cast we saw in the season premiere for some absolutely amazing action sequences. No, there's no real big villain to fight, no Amazo, no Injustice League, no Project Cadmus. The enemy in this episode is just a bunch of mindless alien war-robot bugs that are indestructible and self-replicate endlessly... and it's this simple faceless army that the whole power of the Justice League's extended membership (except for Flash) is shown to light. It's your basic sci-fi plot.

And this episode just unashamedly show every single one of these superheroes fight and unleash their powers. We've seen some of them before in this show, of course. We know Red Tornado is a robot dude that makes tornadoes. We know Doctor Fate has magical powers. We know Captain Atom does some weird atomic kaboomy stuff. But then we've got some of the more exotic superheroes, like, at one point, Vigilante (not the psychotic dude from Arrow, a different Vigilante), who is a freaking cowboy, ride through a swarm of spider-bots on a motorbike, get knocked down, before riding a pegasus alongside Shining Knight, who is a freaking bona fide Arthurian knight. And the two of them charge through alien robots while shooting bullets from a revolver and swish-swishing with a magic sword. Seriously, even if you're not geeking out over OMG SHINING KNIGHT! AZTEK! DOCTOR MID-NITE! ZOMG! like I am, the sheer amount of colourful and variable characters that keep showing up is just amazingly fun to build action scenes around. It's like we jump from the insane Vigilante/Shining Knight combo to Vibe (man, how different is old traditional Vibe from the geeky Cisco Ramon from CW's Flash?) using earthquake powers to Atom Smasher turning into a giant and stepping on robots to Stargirl using her cosmic rod to blast spiderbots to Red Tornado creating a huge wind tunnel to Steel whacking spiders to scrap with a giant hammer to scrap to the two-man team of Green Arrow and Crimson Avenger shooting arrows and bullets?

Oh, and Batman has the most hilarious line. As his Batwing gets absolutely wrecked by the aliens, he launches himself out of the cockpit, and speaks into the radio, completely deadpan. "I could use a little air support. Seeing as I can't fly. ... at all. Now would be a good time." as the ground comes rushing up at him. Good lord, no one believes Batman's going to die from a freaking plane crash, but the absolutely hilarious deadpan delivery just sells it.

The episode's plotline is mostly throwaway. Atom again takes central stage (even more significantly than in "the Return") as the hero who uses his brains to take down this unstoppable menace, and he does get a fair bit of fun scenes as he shrinks down and attempts to disable the Dark Heart, but the plot is, again, filler. Until you realize that Dark Heart is easily one of the most impactful episodes to the climax of season two.

We meet a military representative in General Wade Eiling, who isn't necessarily happy that the superheroes are basically taking point and taking charge. Disagreements between the military and superheroes isn't an uncommon trope, until Eiling actually proves himself to be justified when the League unleashes a gigantic space cannon to slow down the Dark Heart. So yeah, we, the audience, knows that the Justice League is a force of good, led by good people, but it's also an army of superhumans and godlike beings that operates without anyone really keeping them in check, but in addition to having things like, y'know, Superman and Captain Atom among their ranks, they also have a gigantic space cannon. And you can't really fault the military for being afraid of the League -- of the potential that they would turn evil, if nothing else.

The military makes away with the Dark Heart technology, and the Atom is absolutely genre savvy. He's the one most intimately well-versed with the Dark Heart at this point, recognizing its past as a war machine, and he asks the other superheroes. "What's to stop history from repeating itself on Earth?" In one of the best answers to that kind of question, Superman's answer is a very simple "We are." as the camera pulls out to show that awesome assembly of superheroes I mirrored up above.

It's a pretty simple episode that honestly just boils down to "superheroes smash robots" and if I went I could probably gush about every single scene where superheroes fight, but I have so many more episodes to review, so I won't. Really love this episode, though, and it's the first cartoon episode that I actually had to track down in HD.


Justice League Roll Call:

• Speaking Roles: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, The Atom
• Non-Speaking Cameos: Ice, Crimson Avenger, Green Arrow, Nemesis, Elongated Man, Vixen, Shining Knight, Supergirl, Green Lantern, Steel, Dr. Fate, Dr. Light, The Ray, Booster Gold, Red Tornado, STRIPE, Stargirl, Atom Smasher, Starman, Vigilante, Captain Atom, Huntress, Rocket Red, Aztek, Wildcat, Blue Devil, Sand, Fire, Commander Steel, Vibe, Dr. Mid-Nite, Hawk, Black Canary, Obsidian, Hourman, Aquaman
• "Villains": General Wade Eiling

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Wade Eiling is a very militaristic general that is primarily a Captain Atom antagonist, being the asshole that blackmails Captain Atom into taking part in the unstable experiment, before being upgraded into a Justice League antagonist. We'll talk more about his role when he becomes more relevant, but he also has a role relatively recently as a villain in the first season of CW's The Flash... played by Clancy Brown, Lex Luthor's excellent voice actor in the DCAU.
• The Dark Heart is original to the show, although I bet if you look really hard you'll find a lot of similar alien weapons throughout DC's huge comic book history.
• Nope, not really much else to talk about -- sure as hell am not going to talk about every single other superhero that shows up in this episode, or I'll be here all month.

Justice League Unlimited S01E09 Review: Challenge of the Superfriends

Justice League Unlimited, Season 1, Episode 9: Ultimatum

Most live-action adaptations for Amanda Waller, be it Arrow or Suicide Squad, tend to downplay her more complex comic-book characterization in favour of a more two-dimensional "win at all costs" savage, all-in general who's not opposed to collateral damage or killing her own people to win. While not unfaithful to the source material, Amanda Waller's greatest and most memorable role in the comics, for me, has to be that she is part of the government, and that she's not a dirty cop or a corrupt politician, not exactly. She's an extremist, she is cold-blooded, but there is absolutely nothing the superheroes can do to touch her. It's like Lex Luthor, in a sense, but where Luthor is an egomaniac, Amanda Waller is more... paranoid, so to speak. It's like how Batman would prepare for the worst eventuality, except Amanda Waller is far more willing to push the kill button than Batman ever will be.

So how does that translate into Justice League Unlimited? In stark contrast to previous enemies like Ares or Amazo or Darkseid, the League cannot defeat Amanda Waller. Not traditionally, anyway. The earlier episodes of Justice League Unlimited have set up the theme of growing public distrust of superheroes, and the question of just how involved superheroes should be in politics. It's a question that's relevant, with Green Arrow's team taking down a nuclear monster 'for the greater good' in the pilot, with Diana, Hawk and Dove shutting down a civil war, with Luthor's own talk about how superheroes are stunting human evolution. To this end, Amanda Waller introduces the world to a group of new superheroes, the Ulti-Men, who refuse to kowtow to the Justice League and are being super-nice, super-cheesy and kind of irritates Superman by out-corny-ing him.

Oh, and the Ulti-Men are very thinly-veiled references to the old racial-representative characters from the old Superfriends cartoon. The thing is, the Ulti-Men themselves aren't evil, they're just conditioned to love Cadmus, and are government-sanctioned, a counterpart to the Justice League's expansion. They have a slightly more commercialized outlook to the superhero business as well, relatively similar to Booster Gold in several episodes past, and even design-wise they look absolutely busy, with random lines and extra accessories and details to make their design look as busy as possible -- something that I find is absolutely true with a lot of the New 52 and Rebirth designs.

And while the Ulti-Men are pretty happy with their lives as superheroes, this particular batch soon discover that, hey, their entire lives has been a lie, that their memories of being recruited by Cadmus have all been implanted in their head, and they're just the latest in a batch of identical Star Wars-esque clone army with a limited shelf life. The Cadmus villain this time around is Maxwell Lord, a very important character from the comics, who actually is a lot nicer in this adaptation than the source material. Lord is a very suitable character for commercializing the Ulti-Men, acting as the businessman cover to keep the name Cadmus out of sight of the public... but of course, the Ulti-Men's unstable bodies break down, and Longshadow of the Ulti-Men overhears Lord, Waller and Professor Hamilton discussing this.

The poor Ulti-Men are just pawns in a huge conspiracy set up by Project Cadmus. Nay, they are just the latest disposable pawns... and they lash out. They let loose with their elemental powers, breaking apart Cadmus and engaging the Justice League, and it's a taste of how the next two seasons of Justice League Unlimited will be, where the stories will be a lot more focused and more interconnected with each other.

And the action scenes in this episode! I say this every time, but it's an amazing series of action scenes both in the beginning where the Justice League and the Ulti-Men rescue an oil rig from weird magma creatures, as well as the end where the League clash against the Ulti-Men. Aquaman in particular gets to be the most badass of the bunch in action scenes, beating up Shifter when he turns into a freaking dinosaur, before just literally standing there and not giving a single shit when Downpour unleashes a tsunami onto him. "King of the seas. Remember?" -bitchslap-

Oh, and we get some fun villains as Bizarro and Giganta make brief returning appearances before being taken out by the Ulti-Men.

Of course, physical action isn't the only impressive thing that this episode delivers, because Amanda Waller manages to be impressive in her own rights. She butts heads with Batman, the character in the League that's most similar to her as a paranoid normal human with insane amounts of resources... and while Batman does go all "mine's bigger" when Superman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman step up next to him, Waller proves that her untouchable status and her knowing things... with two words: "rich boy", implying that she knows Batman's freaking secret identity... means that she's a far, far more dangerous foe than someone as hammy and emotional as Lex Luthor. Waller knows when she's beat, allowing the four Justice Leaguers to leave with Longshadow, the one Ulti-Men that sided with them, while taking away the rest of them, but it's honestly a hollow gesture. Longshadow only has a short time before he dies like the rest of the Ulti-Men, and Waller knows that. And the fact that she has left an impact with the League, and more importantly, proven that she can walk away from them unscathed without even lifting a fist, proves how much more different breed of villain Cadmus really is.

Speaking of which, I haven't really spoken much about the League in this episode, have I? Because they're mostly just there to drive the story along. It's very much the Ulti-Men and Cadmus's story. Yes, Batman does have his badass lines at the end, and Wonder Woman is super-protective of Longshadow throughout the episode, while Superman and Aquaman are just badass motherfuckers throughout it all... they don't really do much other than just act like themselves. But it's okay.

It's a very excellent episode to build up the Cadmus conspiracy even more, as well as introducing us to Amanda freaking Waller, and the Ulti-Men plot works on so many levels. The younger members of the audience can enjoy a series of fights with impressive animation (seriously, great work on the water and lightning powers, animator guys) and colourful costumes. The geeks among us can snicker at the hilarity of the cheeky Superfriends references. The older audience who understand the full ramifications of having your entire life be a lie, and that your short life is disposable to a conspiracy that's so much bigger than you, get a far more nuanced story. So yeah, they combined one of the most depressing and darkest stories throughout Justice League with an insane Superfriends reference party.

(For what it's worth, Longshadow never appears after this episode, so it's implied that he just died offscreen sometime after this episode)

Justice League Roll Call:

• Speaking Roles: Aquaman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Longshadow
• Non-Speaking Cameos: Aztek, Dr. Light, Red Tornado, Shining Knight, Starman, Nemesis, Ice, the Ray, Crimson Fox, Obsidian, Steel, Supergirl, Hawk, Dove, Gypsy, Atom Smasher, Booster Gold, Elongated Man
• Major Villains: Wind Dragon, Juice, Shifter, Downpour, Maxwell Lord, Giganta, Bizarro, Emil Hamilton, Amanda Waller

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Bizarro was last seen in the Superman: TAS episode "Little Big Head Man", apparently hanging out in Bizarro World. While no real explanation for his sudden return to Earth and to villainy is given, eagle-eyed viewers will see that Bizarro World is one of the planets destroyed by Brainiac in "Twilight". 
• First appearances of Amanda Waller, Maxwell Lord and the Ulti-Men. 
• Amanda Waller, also known as "The Wall", "White Queen" and several other nicknames, is a ruthless government official who was first introduced as the one behind the formation of the Suicide Squad. Soon, her role began to expand beyond the small sphere of Suicide Squad, and she became leader of various powerful organizations such as Checkmate, ARGUS and Project Cadmus at various parts of her career. She doesn't have any superpowers, but her general resourcefulness and ruthlessness has proven very adept at handling situations such as, well, this episode. 
• Maxwell Lord IV, in the comics is a resourceful businessman with a hatred of powerful people. In an attempt to rival Lex Luthor, Maxwell Lord brought sponsorship of the Justice League of America, under the guise of setting up a worldwide peacekeeping organization. This led to him being instrumental in the formation of the Justice League International, where he struggled with his conscience on several parts on whether to really believe in the League's cause, to simply use them as tools or just remain neutral and profit from them. 
• Superfriends references:
• Superfriends is one of the earliest attempts to adapt superheroes into cartoon, and is godawfully cheesy. The first two seasons of Superfriends starred only a couple of superheroes (Superman, Batman, Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman) fighting 'villains' alongside annoying kiddie characters made up for the show, while telling cheesy stories with morals. The final season, Challenge of the Superfriends, had a larger ensemble cast of Justice League versus Legion of Doom, but also introduced a lot of brand-new superheroes, which are infamously remembered nowadays to 'fill' racial quotas. The Ulti-Men are homages to these brand-new characters:
• Wind Dragon is a reference to Samurai, both in his race as well as his power to manipulate the wind.
• Longshadow is a reference to Apache Chief, both of whom have powers to enlarge themselves. 
• Juice is a reference to Black Vulcan, both in race and his electrical powers.
• Downpour and Shifter are a reference to Zan and Jayna, the Wonder Twins. Zan and Downpour share the power to control water (though Downpour is a lot more impressive), while Jayna and Shifter can transform into animals.
• The four Justice League members that show up throughout the episode -- Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman -- are four of the five superheroes that are the main characters of the first two seasons of Superfriends.
• Giganta and Bizarro are two members of the Legion of Doom, a recurring group of villains in the Challenge of Superfriends part of the Superfriends series. Giganta even got to fight Longshadow, where in Superfriends she was the arch-enemy of Apache Chief. 
• There's a rabid animal in STAR Labs that can briefly be seen, a reference to Wonder Dog, one of the other Superfriends-original characters. 
• The lava creatures that attack the oil rig are based on monsters-of-the-week from a Superfriends episode.
• The Ulti-Men's headquarters are somewhat based on the Superfriends' Hall of Justice.
• Batman flies into battle on the freaking Whirly-Bat, which is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo. The Whirly-Bat is a little one-man helicopter that's absolutely hilarious, and is basically a little chair with a rotor on top of it. It's Batman's method of aerial transportation throughout the Golden and Silver Age comics, and is absolutely goofy as all hell.