The Flash S04E18 Review: Out-Thinked

The Flash, Season 4, Episode 18: Lose Yourself

I really want to say good things about the Flash. It has one of the most charismatic casts on superhero television, It tries to keep a balance of fun and drama (Legends leans entirely to he former and both Arrow and Black Lightning lean entirely to the latter) but jeez... it's just been really bleh this season, isn't it? Thinker's grand plan isn't as nebulous as Savitar or especially Zoom, something I will readily admit, but on the other hand, the way they go through things feels just so... boring.

Add that to insanely inconsistent episode-to-episode writing, and we have Ralph Dibny here being a gigantic "why aren't we taking this threat seriously?" bag of anger, advocating killing DeVoe as the final solution. Remember the previous episode when he was "joke in the face of grim seriousness" Ralph? Yeah. It leads to a decent moment when Ralph admits that he's trying to protect his friends, and he doesn't care if he damns his newfound morality, which is touching... but it doesn't feel any less consistent.

And, pfft, it's not like Barry hasn't killed before. Remember season two? Atom Smasher? Sand Demon? Barry totally killed those guys. I remembered being super taken aback.

The episode centers around the team finding the final metahuman, Edwin Gauss, a.k.a. the Folded Man, someone who can open pocket dimensions at will. And he at least has a personality, even if that personality is basically summed up as "stoner". But Thinker ends up attacking STAR labs while Flash, Vibe and Killer Frost bugger off to go into Thinker's base, kills Folded Man, Null and Melting Point... off-screen to boot! And Melting Point didn't even get an appearance after the whole "hey, wanna be part of our superhero team?" debut episode. Yeah, plot device indeed. And then he gets to fight Ralph, who spares him... only for Thinker to escape and body-jump into Ralph's body, saving his body for last since Ralph's powers is the only one that won't die as a side effect and can shapeshift into his original face. It's a nice reason to why DeVoe saves Ralph for last, I guess, but the entire episode is just honestly so bland and goes through its motions in a predictable step-by-step way that it's not even that entertaining. Plus, the show doesn't really do a particularly good job showing DeVoe as a super-smart bloke that out-thinks everyone. Like... why doesn't he use Melting Point's powers to take out Vibe and Flash's powers as well? Why doesn't he go after Folded Man first, and then use Folded Man's powers to instantly zip to the other metahumans? I dunno. For someone whose entire power is being super-smart, he really raises a lot of questions, and I'm a sleepy man who's not really that smart.

Harry, meanwhile, joins DeVoe in being a super-smart character that acts like a complete moron. Yes, the addiction and angry withdrawal symptoms in his overuse of the Thinking Cap (now powered by Dark Matter siphoned by original Gideon) is well-executed by Tom Cavanagh, but it ends up feeling like a needless distraction, and when Harry ends up overloading himself with the Cap and knocking himself out during the climax it's more stupid-funny than tragic.

Meanwhile, on other news, Joe beats up a Samuroid on his own. You know, the super-powered robots who beat Kid Flash and Vibe single-handedly, and caused the team to freak out and go 'shit, we need Barry!' And Joe only had a sword and a handgun. Off-screen, sadly. BOO!

Anyway, it's clearly meant to be the 'darkest hour' for Team Flash. All the bus metahumans are taken down by the Thinker and absorbed, Ralph's body is taken over by Thinker, Killer Frost is apparently gone, Thinker stole a vial of dark matter, and Harry's head got fried. We really could've done a lot better in this episode, though. It's not even dramatic or dark. It's just dry. And other than the neat bit of Thinker channeling all the superpowers in his body to take down all three Team Flash members, there's not even much excitement in this episode.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Edwin Gauss is the minor Atom supervillain Folded Man, whose backstory we talked about a couple episodes ago when he was first name-dropped. 
• While "Sonic Scepter" is original to the show, Tuning Fork-esque plot devices is used multiple times in DC comics, particularly in the Infinite Crisis maxi-series where a multiversal tuning fork tower was a major plot point. 
• Samuroids, last seen in the first episode in this season, return as little ground soldiers in this episode.
• Melting Point, not seen since his debut episode, and Null, captured by Team Flash last episode, return briefly as bodies on Thinker's feet when he absorbed the powers of the Folded Man. You might miss it. I certainly did. 

Arrow S06E18 Review: The Hallucinogen Episode

Arrow, Season 6, Episode 18: Fundamentals

This episode, as a whole, isn't particularly interesting when you break it down. We've had a neat and much-needed break from the Arrow Civil War and Cayden James stuff, with... mixed results. And I'm sorry to say that this episode is also another one with mixed results. The entire premise of the episode is dumb and honestly repetitive of a different episode (season one's "Three Ghosts"). Oliver gets high on Vertigo thanks to a councilman on Diaz's payroll, and hallucinates and acts like a bigger dick than usual to everyone. We get an egregious (if highly fun) return of Josh Segarra's Prometheus, being the little devil on Oliver's shoulder... but the Oliver-is-on-drugs bit is stretched out for the entire episode with a pretty bland love-saves-the-day bit at the end. And in the end, Oliver ends up resolving to do things absolutely alone since everyone's left him, to return to the mission. And it's... it's pretty convoluted, honestly. 

Still, the episode isn't all bad. By boiling things down to a single character and not ping-ponging the entire episode throughout multiple plot points like what we did during the worst of the Arrow Civil War bit, we just sit down with Oliver Queen, and his heightened anger and temper is easily excused (even by William and Felicity) by Vertigo amplifying the emotions that are already there. And, of course, Prometheus is an amazing foil for Oliver, by noting that, no, none of Oliver's past villains are his biggest fear. Oliver's biggest fear is that all the shit Prometheus said about him last season is actually right. And honestly? All evidence points to yes. 

Ultimately the Vertigo-induced vision causes Oliver to choose his original season one fundamentals, which... which I'm not sure is what Oliver should be taking from his drug-induced hallucinations. Especially since the whole reason that Oliver nearly gets killed by walking into a police precinct as a one-man army is shut down by Felicity and Quentin arriving and telling him it's a bad idea... so if anything else, he should be taking in the lesson that, no, he isn't stronger alone. 

Still, despite the flimsy premise of the episode, and the fact that there is no reason for Diaz to stand patiently in that room with an army while Oliver and Felicity were having their big moment of clarity outside, or that Oliver doesn't have a Vertigo antidote recipe somewhere in that base of his, it's still an amazingly acted episode with Stephen Ammell really flexing off some neat acting muscles. So despite it being a bad episode on paper, it's actually a very enjoyable watching experience nonetheless. 

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Oliver uses his old... season one? Two? An old costume, anyway, thanks to a hallucination of him using said suit to tell him to 'return to the mission'. Likewise, "you have failed this city", Oliver's season one catchphrase, returns. 
• Earth-1 Laurel and Prometheus return in Oliver's hallucinations, obviously.

Supergirl S03E15 Review: Mon-El's New Suit

Supergirl, Season 3, Episode 15: In Search of Lost Time

There's... not that much to talk about this episode, actually. There are plotlines going on, sure, but none of them really feel all that interesting. Where to begin? The main storyline, I feel, is the continuation of M'yrnn's struggles with dementia, where his attempts to do the Martian equivalent of mental strengthening exercises causes people to go violent as they get consumed in M'yrnn's own angers and frustrations... which is all dramatic and all, but it's so blatantly obvious that the show is just using it as a catalyst for the episode's action scenes and romantic storyline. And, to be fair, both Carl Lumbly and David Harewood give it their all, giving us a very powerful closing act as M'yrnn ends up realizing that he's being a bit of an ass in his denial... but it's a storyline that honestly ran for way too long. There's also really no reason for J'onn not to hand out mental inhibitors to everyone if he knows he's going to have M'yrnn taken to the DEO for safety. I really like my Martian Manhunter stuff, and it's easily the strongest part of this episode... but it's not a particularly good episode. Lumbly and Harewood are amazing to watch and are great actors, but a combination of the storyline being stretched a bit too much, a couple of obvious plot holes and some pretty bad, repetitive dialogue... that's about the only thing I can praise about this storyline. And it really shouldn't be. At one point Alex compares it with a human equivalent that the audience can relate with, but I'm not sure having a mental dampener put on M'yrnn is the same as not being allowed to drive. The conflict being focused is less M'yrnn's dementia and how to deal with it, and more "oh my god psychic powers are out of control!" Last episode focuses on M'yrnn's dementia amazingly well, and that's because it's a lot more subtle and grounded. Here the real driving conflict of J'onn and M'yrnn's relationship ends up being handwaved aside because, hey, let's have alien cameos and agents fighting each other and M'yrnn completely flipping out and fighting J'onn in a mental battle.

The B-plots here... not too much either. We get to see Mon-El's new costume, which is... um... yeah, at least they're trying to be accurate to Mon-El's comic-book counterpart. But the entire bit is just a couple of exchanges of the pent-up sexual tension between Kara and Mon-El, which honestly just feels stretched thin. I get that both Kara and Mon-El have to work with their complex feelings for each other, and in this episode Kara is forced to essentially go crazy and tear Mon-El a new one for being an ass in the past? That Kara is romanticizing the relationship they have at the end of the second season? It's a neat observation, except for the fact that, y'know, Mon-El has apologized multiple times in the past for being an ass, and Kara has had her ass moments as well in the relationship, making this huge 'wow' revelation fall flat on its face. Plus, so much of the episode's interactions has been cape tricks and just 'rawr forced romantic tension!' that like the M'yrnn storyline, the lack of subtlety and focusing on the wrong aspect of an otherwise interesting plot point makes the episode a fair bit less enjoyable than it should. 

Meanwhile, Lena and Sam... is even more obviously stretching for time. The whole point of Sam is to ask Lena to help, but she's so angry and refuses every single diagnosis from Lena, causing us to have this long, convoluted and drawn-out scenes of Lena angsting, Lena asking help from James, Lena goading Sam, before we reach a conclusion that really shouldn't have taken this long to reach. It feels out of character for the otherwise intelligent Sam.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Among the prisoners in the DEO are one of the White Martians (possibly the one that impersonated a senator from season one), Draaga (last seen in season two's "Survivors") and Mandrax (last seen in season two's "Star-Crossed"). Agent Demos, a minor recurring character from season two, also makes a brief, prolonged appearance here fighting with Winn.
• Mon-El's new costume is, of course, based on his comic-book counterpart Valor's superhero suit. 
• "The son becomes the father and the father the son" is quoted from Superman: The Movie. Kara even attributes the quote to Jor-El. And, of course, it's repeated like nearly a dozen times throughout the episode. 
• Zook the fifth dimensional imp is noted by M'yrnn and J'onn as being his imaginary friend as a kid. In the comics, Zook was J'onn's sidekick in the Golden Age (where a lot of characters have their own personal fifth-dimensional imp sidekick), and was erased from continuity during Crisis of Infinite Earths.
• The psychic alien that was taken down early in the episode is identified as a Kalanorian, which is the race that the DC comics villain Despero hails from. Despero, as you can imagine, is an alien with psychic powers. The Kalanorians tend to be portrayed as having pink skin and head fins, though. 

One Piece 903 Review: Goko

One Piece, Chapter 903: The Fifth Emperor

Holy shit, what a big bomb of a chapter! See, why couldn't this be the 'BIG' event for chapter 900? Honestly, any of the past two or three chapters have enough huge impact without having to resort to the silly fake-out that was chapter 900. But I've done enough complaining about chapter 900's troll fake-out in the comment section before, so let's talk about the good parts of this chapter.

We still have no concrete answer as what happens to Jinbe's crew and the Germa dudes, although they are still conspicuously absent from the huge roll call of characters reacting to the news... so yeah. I don't buy Jinbe dying off-screen so... transformed into homies, then? It is slightly frustrating that Jinbe misses yet another moment to join the crew, but eh. Whatever. 

The chapter starts off with the revelation that Niji snuck in Sanji's raid suit into his person, and both Luffy and Chopper beg for Sanji to not throw it away because it's super cool... but Sanji expresses absolute disgust at using anything coming from the Vinsmokes (as he should!) and refuses to have any part in having Germa Science be the source of his strength. He also brushes off the fact that he can shoot laser beams by noting that their crew already has Franky as the super robot. Time will tell if this is just the writer giving a sly nod as to "nope, Sanji's not going to betray his convictions" or actual foreshadowing to a potential possible power-up in the future. We also segue to the fact that Nami has apparently trapped Zeus in her clima-tact, essentially enslaving that powerful huge thundercloud. Huh. That's... that's actually what everyone online predicted and something I scoffed at, but it appears that we're rolling with this outrageously fun development... at least until Big Mom faces the Straw Hats again, anyway. 

We get the revelation of new bounties when the newspaper gets delivered to the Sunny. Sanji's bounty is increased to 330 million, a wee bit higher than Zoro (which Sanji is extremely excited about), but at the same time he's pissed off that they've printed his name as Vinsmoke Sanji. Oh, and it's dead-or-alive now. There's a bit of a fake-out with Lulffy crying because his bounty went down to 150 million... but of course, as we learn at the end of the chapter, it's actually shot up dramatically to 1.5 billion, one of the highest bounties we've seen in the series so far. I'm not someone to really get caught up in bounty discussion, but god damn, this is a pretty badass little increase, isn't it? And the reason is even believable -- it's all thanks to Big News Morgans reporting and embellishing, noting that Luffy defeated Cracker and Katakuri, Luffy managed to fight toe to toe with Big Mom in her own territory and escape, Luffy being able to consolidate the Firetank and Sun Pirates in an alliance against Big Mom... plus all the other members of the Straw Hat grand fleet spreading Luffy's reputation... yeah. I do think that it might perhaps be a wee bit too much, but as often is pointed out, bounties are more of a threat level in the eyes of the government as opposed to the oh-so-holy power level debate. 

We then get our requisite 'the rest of the world reacts to news' bit, but at the same time it also ties in to the Reverie arc, which is reportedly coming next as opposed to Wanokuni. We check in on Fishman Island, where Neptune basically notes how Jinbe has finally joined Luffy's crew (oh, if he only knew) and that Fishman Island is under the Straw Hat Crew's protection. Oh, and Shirahoshi decides to go alongside her  father to the Reverie. 

We get a bit of a check-in with Crocodile, Bege and Dalton reading the newspaper, as well as Bartolomeo and Cavendish spreading tales of the powerful Luffy, head of a new grand pirate fleet, as Morgans' aforementioned narration is told over it. Morgans even notes that Luffy is the fifth Emperor of the Sea, making the terminology... Goko instead of Yonko, then? We get to see Akainu being angry at the fact that the Illusia kingdom ship being attacked by pirates and the princess being kidnapped -- and the Ilusia kingdom was like something mentioned here and there over the chapters building up to the Reverie, but this is the biggest and most prominent bit it has had. 

As the nameless pirates are about to attack the combined fleets of Dressrosa and Prodence (we check in a bit with the Tontattas, King Riku, King Elizabeth, Rebecca* and Viola). They try to launch a torpedo to sink the ships, but some marine dude zips through the water, grabs the torpedo and blows it up, and it's revealed to be COBY! Coby isn't my favourite character in One Piece, but he's apparently progressing at a pretty rapid rate. Last  we checked in with him, he's honed Rokushiki. Now he's apparently trained Observation Haki as well. Helmeppo is also there, taking out the submarine pirate crew and rescuing the Illusia princess with his weird kukri swords. There's a fun bit as Coby reads the news and is impressed at Luffy-senpai, and Rebecca catches on to this and accurately notes that Coby is a Luffy fan himself. 

*Who I am sorry to say I actually didn't realize was supposed to be her, because she's wearing a normal dress

We get a bit of a check-in with a furious Kaido, who's confused why Luffy's attacking Big Mom. We also get Blackbeard, doing his jackass Zehahahaha bit. Big Mom is screaming and angry that Luffy is painted the victor, while Shanks... is just sitting cool on some island somewhere. That's all four Yonko as the chapter ends in a two-page spread of the revelation of Luffy's 1.5 billion bounty. 

Overall... yeah, a pretty damn awesome 'hype' chapter. Hopefully we actually start off the Reverie next chapter! Looking forward to it, for sure. 

The Flash S04E17 Review: Vampires!

The Flash, Season 4, Episode 17: Null and Annoyed

This episode... isn't that good, actually. It feels so much like another case-of-the-week, but there's really not that much that feels fresh or new. There are three extremely distinct sub-plots in this episode that don't intersect with each other, which I think really hurts this episode as a whole. The 'main' Flash plot features Barry and Ralph trying to get one of the two remaining metahumans, Null, while Barry has to deal with Ralph's lack of seriousness. Cisco has to deal with the return of the gruff Breacher, who's apparently losing his powers out of old age. And Marlize finally discovers that DeVoe is using Weeper's tears to keep her docile. And... and none of them really work, honestly.

The story that perhaps works the least for me is the main Flash/Elongated Man one. Nevermind the fact that the titular Null isn't particularly interesting of a villain, being a generic card-carrying thief with superpowers. It's the fact that the huge crux and conflict is Barry Allen learning to realize that Ralph's jokes are a way of coping, and that not everyone can become like Barry in terms of being a hero. It just feels so... exhaustive. Ralph has jumped back and forth between being a clown and a coward afraid of his life, but after the whole Izzy debacle and the fact that he's spent a couple of episodes scared shitless and actually complaining that they're not doing anything to save him, suddenly going all "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle guys, hyuck!" in a training session designed to take down the biggest threat feels absolutely off. I can buy Ralph cracking jokes in the heat of battle against Null or something like that, but his clowning in this episode actually makes me really unsympathetic of him, and of the writers who really are trying to do the 'reset Ralph back to dickery to tell a story about him'. It feels like Season One Barry and his failure to learn from the lesson-of-the-week, and I don't like it.

The Cisco/Breacher plot is an obvious allegory for age-induced erectile dysfunction, and Cisco has to be the quasi-son-in-law who has to break the bad news to Breacher. Hell, we even have a bit of a mix-up regarding blue pills that ostensibly allow Breacher to 'perform' again. And... and while it's not as poorly-told as the Barry/Ralph stuff, it's still pretty bland. The idea of an elderly superhero that's forced to retirement due to old age is interesting (albeit done before even in this show with Jay Garrick) but the way Breacher and Cisco's interactions here are played out feels like it's trying to be comedic, but none of the comedic beats really work. Cisco ends up looking way too much like a dick, and Breacher's sudden conflict resolution doesn't make particular sense.

There are two big takeaways from the Cisco/Breacher stuff. One is that Breacher's probably not going to appear in this show again since Danny Trejo's a big-name actor... and Cisco might also be leaving? Breacher offers Cisco a position as part of the Collectors, replacing him, which... yeah. I guess I'll have to wait until the next episode for the resolution, but if this is going to be a genesis to having Carlos Valdes leave the show, it's definitely a pretty piss-poor way to start it.

Oh, and vampires. Neat, I suppose, but it's not like Crucifer mattered at all in the grand scheme of the episode.

The DeVoes are, surprisingly, the storyline that I'm somewhat most interested in. Sure, the writing is still horrible. There's still no real rhyme or reason to the fact that DeVoe didn't actually keep track of the 11 or however many people essential to his plan. For someone so unbelievably smart, it's also hilariously stupid of DeVoe's multiple slip-ups in this episode, like wrongly numbering the amount of metahumans left (and anyway, it's not three with Weeper, it's five -- Ralph, Null, Weeper, Melting Point and Gauss). But the sequence of Marlize discovering that DeVoe has been doping her up with Weeper's mood-boosting tears, trying to make a 'New Lemonade Recipe' recording warning herself of DeVoe's tricks... my god that was harrowing. The revelation that Marlize has found out multiple times that DeVoe has her under his thumb is horrifyingly well done, even if as a whole I still think the Thinker storyline isn't particularly told well... in a capsule, I'll give this episode a thumbs-up for the DeVoe/Marlize sequence.

There's also Harry Wells, who's just frustrated throughout the entire episode (the Thinking Cap's just super-dumb eventually when the writers just kind of need to awkwardly shove it aside for the plot of the episode to work, doesn't it?) before the revelation shows up with him summoning the original Gideon that worked for Eobard Thawne. That's neat, but eh.

Also, what about Melting Point? Isn't he supposed to be Team Flash's newest member? Really doesn't instill me with no confidence that he's going to be anything more than a plot device with a name.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• We talked about Null, a minor Hawkman villain, last episode. Lord Crucifer, however, is actually an existing villain in the DC Comics, appearing as an antagonist of Wonder Woman and later the Justice League. Crucifer was part of a cult of vampires known as the Tenth Circle, and was banished into another dimension by the Amazons. After an attempt to summon the rest of his vampires into superheroes as hosts, Crucifer was defeated by the JLA. 
• Cisco calls Crucifer "From Dusk Till Dawn", a movie that features Breacher's actor Danny Trejo. 
• Ralph makes references to Marvel villain Docter Octopus (or "Doc Ock", a rendering of his name popularized by Spider-Man 2) and Master Splinter of TMNT fame. 
• When spitballing names for a comedic team, Ralph mentions DC Comics, which, of course, is the name of the publishing company where all of these characters come from. 
• The original Gideon -- the AI brought from the future by Eobard Thawne, as opposed to the other Gideon in Legends of Tomorrow -- appears since season 1. 

Black Lightning S01E13 Review: Power Struggle

Black Lightning, Season 1, Episode 13:  Shadow of Death: The Book of War

Well, that's a season finale. It's more of an open-ended season finale, though, since Black Lightning's family doesn't really even deal with Tobias Whale, Khalil or La-La as an end-of-season boss, but they do deal with Martin Proctor, who's revealed to be a rogue ASA agent instead of having the weight of the US government behind him. It's a bit underwhelming, but at the same time there is definitely enough shake-up and enough of a resolution for it to be a win for the good guys, I suppose. 

The season finale moved a bit too slow, I think, with a fair amount of flashback sequence to Jefferson and Alvin Pierce as children, and then a bit where they talk as ghosts in limbo or something, but it's not that distracting. There is a bit of a subversion of the climactic main hero versus main villain fight, because all that happens is Black Lightning, Thunder, Gambi, Lynn and Jennifer fighting against the faceless ASA goons in the cabin once Jennifer charges Black Lightning's powers back up. It's okay, and I do like that it's not a "we're the Justice League/Avengers now" and Jennifer in particular is more scared than anything. 

But the good guys end up facing off Proctor, and after a bit of a talk with him, Gambi shoots Proctor in the head. Meanwhile, Inspector Hendersen and the rest of the police force arrives to arrest the defeated tactical squad, and Jefferson does what his father did and blew the whistle on the whole metahuman child kidnapping facility, exposing the ASA's doings and making their crimes public. It feels a bit too clean and not as exciting or flashy, but it works. I just felt that it could be better. And having Proctor's rant be way too hammy and repeating "make America great again" like three times in the episode felt a bit too much for me to take him seriously. 

Meanwhile, poor La-La has been built up throughout the entire season as a bit of a main player, but it turns out that Tobias Whale sponsored his resurrection, has him completely under his control, and has a pretty badass scene of showing just how much he's his pawn and dubs him the "Tattoo Man"... and essentially just uses him to distract Proctor for all of five minutes before blowing La-La up with a mouth grenade. What? That felt weird. Clearly we haven't seen the last of La-La, but that felt like an insanely abrupt end to him. Why even have him in the episode if that's all you're going to do with him?

Tobias, Khalil and Syonide end up just waiting for Proctor to send the bulk of his forces to hunt down Black Lightning, before showing up at the ASA facility and murdering everyone, and it's a nice 'multiple factions fighting' thing. Proctor escapes (only to get killed by Gambi later on) but Tobias's crew ends up walking away with the suitcase MacGuffin, which contains the secret to curing the kids stuck in the laboratory facility. 

Ultimately, the season finale is... serviceable, but definitely a step down from a huge chunk of quality writing throughout the first season of Black Lightning. I did enjoy it and there are a fair bit of pretty good moments here (mostly from Tobias, whose dialogue throughout the entire episode is just extremely quotable), but I definitely feel that they could do better. Fortunately, we do have the second season for that. 

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Khalil Payne is given the codename 'Painkiller' by Tobias, based on a very minor Black Lightning enemy that appeared for three issues in the 90's run. The comics version of Painkiller wasn't named and had the ability to anesthesize any part of the human body. Khalil's abilities are expounded upon here by Gambi, who notes that his implants produce a neurotoxin that he launches via his darts, making them a bit less silly. 
• La-La is also given a supervillain name, the Tattooed Man (or Tattoo Man, considering Tobias's inflection). There have been multiple Tattooed Men in the DC comics, but none of them are Black Lightning villains or have weird quasi-mystic powers and hallucinations, and La-La likely doesn't share much with any previous Tattooed Man beyond the name. The most famous Tattooed Man is the first, Abel Tarrant, a Green Lantern villain who used ink exposed to 'mysterious chemicals' to tattoo himself, allowing him to manifest his tattoos into actual physical objects.

Movie Review: Green Lantern [2011]

Green Lantern [2011]

It has been slightly shy of a decade since Green Lantern, huh? It was universally panned, and both put Green Lantern's reputation in the dumps since then. Green Lantern himself was out of the 'main seven' rotation for the Justice League movie, and the Green Lantern cartoon got canned shortly after release. The Lego Movie and Deadpool both mocked this movie, if in a more good-natured fashion than most. It also got people super-angry when Ryan Reynolds was announced to play Deadpool -- a fear that was quickly quashed since Ryan Reynolds was never the problem with this movie.

Regardless, though, I've booted up Green Lantern last week and...

It wasn't actually that bad. Hell, even giving it some time to cook in my head, it isn't that bad. I can easily think up of a couple of superhero films like Batman v Superman or Avengers: Age of Ultron that could easily give the movie a run for its money in sheer messiness, and the ill-fated Fantastic Four reboot was far, far worse. Green Lantern, it seems, was simply a bit too... generic. You've got your origin story told across a good half of the screentime, the villain gets an origin story, you get a training montage, the villain gets replaced by a scarier one, and then we get a big CGI battle where the bad guy is defeated. The biggest problem with Green Lantern is simply the fact that it doesn't innovate. 

Neither do 80% of the superhero movies out there, Marvel, DC or otherwise, so what's the problem, really? 

Let's quickly go through the parts of the movie that they did well, in quick succession. This is not going to be a super-long review. The good stuff is, well, Ryan Reynolds' performance as Hal Jordan. Perhaps not the writing, which ends up causing Jordan to not feel as interesting as he could been, but Reynolds' performance really nails the devil-may-care jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold Hal Jordan as he appears in most of his more memorable appearances in the 2000's-era comic book run. Reynolds is a fun leading man, and Carol Ferris, played by Reynolds' now-wife Blake Lively, is also a pretty decent, if generic, love interest.

Mark Strong's performance as Thaal Sinestro is also easily my favourite aspect of the film, and one that I remember so fondly even when I first saw the movie in 2011. Strong's performance across like three or four scenes perfectly captures the snobbish, well-meaning yet extremist mentality of Sinestro. Peter Sarsgaard also plays a very well-done Hector Hammond, capturing the mental instability caused by years of self-image problems, and it's a shame he literally wasn't allowed to do much. I also liked the large amount of cameos that draws upon so many minor Green Lantern characters, and I squeed when I spotted Stel or Rop Lot Fan or Bzzd among the background characters. And secondary characters Tom, Abin Sur, Kilowog and Tomar-Re are portrayed relatively well, too, if they weren't really given a chance to shine.

But where did it go wrong? Obviously, one of the oft-derided aspects of this movie is the weird veiny costume, something I surprisingly don't have a problem with. I'd definitely love a more traditional costume, don't get me wrong, but I did get what the film makers were trying to go for, with the costumes supposedly being actual constructs created by the armour. And it's a shame, considering the actual aliens and the ring constructs actually look good -- using more practical effects for the costumes would definitely work better. 

One big problem with Green Lantern is simply its inconsistent pacing and tone, really. It really wants to jump from one set piece to another, jumping from one side-character to the next and abandoning the previous one almost instantaneously. We get a long introdump about the Guardians of the Universe, the Green Lantern Corps and the entity Parallax within two minutes of beginning the movie, then we go through the whole 'Abin Sur crashes and the ring finds its way to Jordan'. Then the plotline gets divided between the Earth plot with Hal being kinda-discharged from Ferris Air for his madcap daredevil antics, while dr Hector Hammond gets involved in a government conspiracy regarding Abin Sur's ship. Meanwhile, we also have the Guardians and the Lanterns trying to deal with the cosmic threat of Parallax, who has been somewhat reimagined here as a Galactus-style entity going around destroying worlds.

And the movie was messy in that aspect. It jumps from one scene to the next without abandon, and while it might've worked had Green Lantern been released a couple of years earlier, but 2011 was when it was dueling against the slow buildup of the Marvel Cinematic Universe juggernaut, as well as coming off the critically well-acclaimed Nolan Batman movies. It's not quite enough for a superhero movie to simply be 'entertaining', and Green Lantern honestly only fell flat by virtue of comparison, in my opinion. 

And, well, there are enough weak elements running around to pull this movie down. While it was neat to tie in together the whole 'Guardians are not as infallible as they may seem' thing and Parallax as a villain together, it does kind of feel half-baked and an unearned revelation that no one ever mentions that Parallax is actually possessing the corpse and/or body of a Guardian as he rampages.

Also under-utilized are the supporting cast, and Jordan literally just bounces from 'civilian Earth-buddy' Tom to 'love interest' Carol to 'nice apathetic dude' Tomar-Re to 'harsh drill sergeant' mentor Kilowog to 'you are not worthy' rival Sinestro. While the performances given by the actors are well-done, none of the emotion feel earned. Add that to Sinestro having a sub-plot of crafting a ring of fear to fight Parallax which absolutely goes nowhere other than the mid-credits scene of Sinestro wearing the yellow ring (which is badass) but it really feels, again, half-baked.

We get Amanda Waller (!) to represent the government agent that works with Hammond's demanding father to investigate Abin Sur and his ship, but Amanda Waller does not do anything throughout the movie. She exchanges a couple of lines, gets thrown around by Hammond when he rampages, survives and disappears for the rest of the movie. Waller's fate is essentially the same that Tomar Re, Sinestro, Tom and even Carol experiences, and I think that's one of the weaker parts of the movie. 

But easily the weakest part is the comparison between villain and hero. It's easy to note that a hero is only as good as his villain, and neither Parallax nor Hector Hammond are actually that good. I really wished that they didn't bite off more than they could chew, and simply settled on a single threat. Or maybe have Hammond team up with Parallax (or another villain entirely). They really tried to build something up with Hector Hammond, by setting him up as a foil to Hal Jordan. Both are exposed to alien things, but while Jordan gets a magic ring that welcomes him to an army of space cops and allows him to create anything, Hammond gets transformed into a grotesque, pulsating big-headed man with crude telekinetic abilities. Jordan gets the girl, Hammond only gets scorn. And the climax of Jordan and Hammond's antagonism is somewhat reflected when Jordan gives Hammond the ring to try... but it falls flat because neither of them really end up exploring their characters, and Hammond literally gets killed off seconds later.

Add that to the fact that Hammond doesn't actually start to menace anyone until the last fifteen minutes of the movie, and you get a problem.

And Parallax? Parallax is a hot, hot soup of concepts that doesn't gel together well. He's an ancient entity of fear, he's a failed experiment by the Guardians to create a better weapon than the Green Lanterns, he's a fallen Guardian, he's a planet-devouring entity, he's Hector Hammond's master... and none of these concepts end up actually showing up. Parallax in the comics is a pretty cool threat -- the true cosmic embodiment of fear that possesses Hal Jordan and forces him to face his own fear. Here? Here he's just a swirling black mass of smoke and death and eeeeeevil that ends up being kind of disappointing. The strange decision to portray him as a gigantic mass of brown-black smoke that sometimes glows in sickly yellow glows also makes Parallax look like shit. And I mean that literally, not figuratively. 

The way he's beaten is quite shit, though. Nevermind the fact that Parallax's nature is never really elaborated on beyond 'wow, evil space monster!' with vague winks at his comic-book origin of using the colour yellow and feeding on fear, but he just swirls around like this gigantic smoke tentacle, eating people because of evil reasons and ending up chasing Hal Jordan into space and falling into the sun because he never took Kilowog's Ring-Slinging 101. That climax was pretty bland, if serviceable... but it really could've been done better if Jordan actually inspired Sinestro, Kilowog and the others to help out. 

And, well, Jordan's writing itself establishes him as a cocky pilot with a devil-may-care attitude with Carol Ferris and the more senior Green Lanterns, but it never actually puts him through any sort of development and he ends up just being... generic Silver Age hero at the end for reasons. It makes his argument with Hector Hammond ring out hollow, as, yes, he does have everything from Ryan Reynolds' chiseled looks and perfect teeth to a hot girlfriend that is patient with all his bullshitting around to a super-powered magic alien ring to membership in an intergalactic police laid out neatly in front of him. 

So yeah. Green Lantern is not a good movie. In fact, all things considered it might be one of DC's worse efforts. But it's really not that bad, and to hear people talk about it really makes it sound like there's absolutely nothing irredeemable about this movie -- when it's not. The only real crime this movie has is trying to do too much while not doing anything different, because it's got a very good cast and semi-decent CGI (Pooprallax is still annoying). It's just a shame that it ends up being such a mark on the Green Lantern franchise that it's not until 2020 that we're getting another live-action Green Lantern adaptation at all. 

Supergirl S03E14 Review: The Return of Toyman

Supergirl, Season 3, Episode 14: Schott Through the Heart

Yeah, all of this stuff was supposed to be reviewed last week or two weeks ago, but I got really sick and only managed to upload manga stuff and some pre-written Hearthstone and Pokemon stuff. Mea culpa. Anyway, have a review of Supergirl's return. And while I didn't quite have as long of a break as anyone following these episodes in real time, it was still some time since I last saw episode 13. We don't jump straight into the Worldkiller stuff, though, beyond a brief nod to the plotline with Lena Luthor's absence throughout the entire episode being explained by her standing guard over Samantha's comatose body in her L-Corp facility. 

No, the majority of the episode is carried by Winslow Schott, and it really makes me sad just how under-utilized Jeremy Jordan is as an actor. When was the last time Winn ever got to do anything beyond just being mission control or comedic relief? Was it the episodes with his kleptomaniac alien girlfriend or some shit? This one forces him to confront his past, though, when we get the sudden revelation (through a second-long news report while he's singing karaoke, no less) that Winslow Schott Senior, the Toyman, has died off-screen in jail. It's pretty sudden and honestly I've genuinely forgotten that Winn as a character was meant to be a tie-in with the classic Toyman villain. 

And Winn gets so many great scenes where Jeremy Jordan is allowed to show off his acting chops. From his conflicted conversation with James as he storms out of the karaoke bar only to admit he feels empty at his father's death, to his pissed-off reaction at the funeral, to his cold reunion with his mother Mary (played by the amazingly talented Laurie Metcalf), to his angry, angry rant to his mother for abandoning him as a child on the wake of the Toyman's rampage... to his eventual reunion and reconciliation with his mother, Winn is so amazingly scripted and acted this episode that I'm genuinely baffled why the CW doesn't use him more often. 

And the drama between Winn and Mary is portrayed so well, with Winn being rightfully angry for his mother essentially abandoning him to the elements -- not just the one night on the police station that broke him, but also the fact that she never really followed up in trying to save him by contacting the FBI or anything. Mary's anecdotes, meanwhile, paints a harrowing story of an abusive wife trying to protect herself and her son from an abusive husband... who also happens to be a megalomaniacal supervillain. The talk about how her attempt to get to a domestic abuse shelter (fooling little Winn by saying that they were going to Disneyland before it opens) and ended up getting run off the road by Toyman is extremely well-delivered, with both Jordan and Metcalf really selling the scene as two victims of Toyman senior's abuse. 

The ultimate revelation of who's been using Toyman's toys -- whether Schott Senior faked his death, or if he has allies, is revealed to be a new apprentice that Schott Senior had managed to woo in his time in the prison, to 'punish' his family. We did get a flamethrower tank, flying monkey robots, a shitty robotic T-rex and Supergirl being trapped in an action figure bubble wrap, giving us some insanely campy Golden Age hijinks and imagery to contrast with the heavy-handed family drama. Ultimately Toyman's protege, Jacqueline Nimball (a reference to the second Toyman in the comics) isn't very important. Hell, she doesn't even get named, and her motive rant was insanely banal -- but she does represent everything that Schott Senior was -- a destructive factor on Mary and Winn, even after his death. It's nowhere that poetic since, y'know, bad CGI dinosaur robots are involved, but eh. Ultimately it's a very fun episode with a very, very powerful emotional core for Winn's story. 

The B-plots are a bit more... hit-and-miss. There's a constant running gag of James trying to call Lena, which I thought was pretty silly -- James is far more underused than Winn. There's the whole bit with Mon-El trying to get the courage to talk to Kara about the mystery behind Irma and Brainiac's plans, namely that Pestilence is actually the Blight, the villain the Legion will face in the future, and that they want to pre-emptively stop Pestilence in 2018, which is... okay? Why keep that from Mon-El even? I'm not a big fan of the Kara/Mon-El plot, which just feels kind of just poorly-paced and needlessly drawn out... especially considering Irma and Brainiac keeps disappearing from the show for no real reason. 

The bit about M'yrnn having dementia is very well done. It's heartwrenching to deal with dementia, of course, and to see a lovable figure like M'yrnn dealing with it and ending up pushing away his surrogate granddaughter and it's a very well-written (if quickly-resolved) story of how trying to hide a disease from someone's family will cause even more conflict in the long run... but I dunno. It feels that it comes out of the left field, but the actors for J'onn, Alex and M'yrnn are extremely competent that despite the slower run-time for M'yrnn's story, it packs a pretty hefty punch. 

Overall, a pretty good episode despite my brief complaints. Pretty enjoyable.

DC Easter Eggs Corner

• The second Toyman (Toy-woman?) is identified by the credits as Jacqueline Nimball, a gender-flipped version of Jack Nimball, the second Toyman. This second Toyman essentially succeeded Winslow Schott in the comics when Schott was imprisoned, and was made particularly famous due to his more colourful costume being adapted as the Toyman in the Challenge of the Super-Friends Hanna-Barbera cartoon. Eventually, Schott would murder Nimball for usurping the Toyman mantle. 
• Mon-El notes that Imra is telekinetic and not telepathic. In the comics, Saturn Girl is actually far more notable for her telepathic powers and doesn't really exhibit telekinetic powers all that often... I'm not sure if this is cheeky acknowledgement from the creators for changing Saturn Girl's powers, or if it's actual foreshadowing.
• There have been many robotic T-Rexes used by toy-themed villains in the DC comics universe. Most notable is the robotic T-Rex Superman fought in the opening sequence of Superman: The Animated Series, and one that became the iconic trophy in the Batcave. 

Nanatsu no Taizai 264 Review: Super Saiyajin

Nanatsu no Taizai, Chapter 264: 

It's obviously still a back-and-forth between the Archangels and Estarossa. As the audience, we already know that Estarossa is not going to die to two relative second-stringers in terms of being fleshed-out characters. Sariel and Tarmiel might be two of the most powerful characters in the setting, but they are pretty under-developed characters and Estarossa is one of the few main villains that the audience is attached to. 

But as Estarossa faces destruction, he consumes first Galan's commandment, and then Mospiet's commandment later on in the chapter. He got a power up and gets even more and more consumed by the shadows, growing increasingly powerful -- he ended up being able to bat Sariel and Tamriel around, preveting Tamriel from reverting into water and crushing all of Sariel's bones even through his whirlwind armour.  He does seem to get super duper crazy by doing so, though, because he starts to call himself Meliodas and shit.

There's also a brief bit with Elizabeth and Derriere talking about Monspiet's feelings and stuff, which is... neat. I don't really have much to say about that. It went on as expected -- Elizabeth sympathizing and befriending Derriere because she's nice and everything. It's not a particularly impressive chapter, I think, but it does work pretty well ultimately in establishing Estarossa's threat level and just how fucked-up crazy he is. 

Gotta Review 'Em All, Part #14: Regirock to Deoxys

The third generation had ten legendaries, and the first to exponentially add on the amount of legendaries. The first generation had a trio, a game-breaker and a bonus event legendary for a total of five. The second had a trio, two game-breakers and a bonus event legendary for a total of six. The third generation, though, had a trio, a pair of 'roaming' ones, three game-breakers, plus two event legendaries, leading to a total of ten. And honestly, while Ruby/Sapphire did a decent job at integrating most of them into the Hoenn mythology (although I am biased towards the third generation, which I fully admit), subsequent generations wouldn't be that successful. Regardless of how much I like these, though, the third generation did start the trend of quantity-over-quality, slowly diminishing the impact of a legendary pokemon because, well, there's just so goddamn much of them.

I suppose I'll say a little about the third generation as a whole, and I guess I'll make that a habit from here on out since the legendaries are going to be lumped in a single page anyway. The third generation was perhaps one of the biggest overhauls that the franchise has ever seen, other than perhaps the jump from the fifth to sixth generation... although that was allayed with a more stable engine and the existence of the 'Pokemon Bank' transfer software. The jump from Gold/Silver to Ruby/Sapphire was... rough. I wasn't there during the earliest stages of the third generation, but boy, the jump from the quality of graphics of the Game Boy Color to the crisp sprites of the Game Boy Advanced was mind-blowing. The artwork in the games had a quality boost, too, so the creatures in the game actually did look like how they looked in official guidebooks, manga and anime, whereas for the first two generations it's more hit-and-miss.

The third generation also expanded in the complexity and scope of its pokemon designs, actually delivering on a mostly-new region instead of functioning as an expansion pack the way the second generation did, which honestly is the way to go in my opinion, giving the third generation a firmer sense of identity and allowing the designs to stand on their own. The third generation also expanded on a lot of concepts that the second generation did -- like weather, which played such a huge part in the third generation's lore, overworld and gimmicks that people like to forget that weather mechanics was actually introduced in the second one.

We also got to see a lot of wacky experimentation in this generation. Lots of new type combinations, far more dragons, steels and ghosts, and some weird evolutionary methods (Shedinja and Milotic being the standout ones), but at the same time there's something that makes the third generation onwards distinctly... off compared to the first two. Part of it is because everything from the third generation onwards was designed by multiple artists, which, for better or for worse perhaps led to the larger diversity, while at the same time perhaps leading to the 'cluttered' and 'toy-like' designs of these pokemon... which is a fair commentary. And perhaps to the anger of many, the third generation dumbed down somme of the mechanics of the second generation, eliminating 'headbutt trees' and the clock/calendar mechanic other than how it affects Eevee's evolution. It's a bit of a work in progress as the diving mechanic would be eliminated by the time of the fourth, and we'll see a bunch of differing game mechanics rotate in and out.

Still, I love the third generation as much as I do the first, and in fact sometimes even more -- the third generation might be less iconic, but they had such a strong conceptual basis on multiple fronts that while the first generation might feel a bit more cohesive, the third always felt more colourful and interesting.

Thanks for keeping up with me throughout the first three generations, and after this bunch of golems and weather gods, next week we'll hop over to Sinnoh!

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#377-379: Regirock, Regice & Registeel

• Types: Rock [Regirock], Ice [Regice], Steel [Registeel]
• Japanese names: Rejirokku, Rejiaisu, Rejisuchiru
• Categories: Rock Peak [Regirock], Iceberg [Regice], Iron [Registeel]

The 'trio' in this generation is a stark, stark contrast to the Legendary Birds and Legendary Beasts of the first and second generation, and honestly, these poor things get such a bad rap (the 'legendary trashbins' or something along those lines were one of their more popular nicknames online) for being crappy in battle. I've made my love for the Regis apparent in a previous article, but I've always liked them a lot. Instead of going with yet another obvious and repetitive trio of the electric/fire/ice (or water) elements, Hoenn's elemental trio are ones of Rock, Ice and Steel, a reference to the stone age, ice age and steel age. Oh, and instead of godlike birds and mammals, these are artificial golems, playing into the lore of some sort of ancient civilization co-existing and even binding these massive golems. And yes, the Regis are adapted on golems on Hebrew culture, not to be confused with Golem, evolution of Geodude. The actual mythological golems are statues of clay or mud brought to life for a specific purpose, some form of magical robot that will follow its master's orders, although sometimes golems do go rogue.

The Regi trio takes the robotic undertones of golems and runs headlong with it, by making these three behave like robots, speaking with bleep-bloops in the anime and manga, and never really displaying much emotion. The way to get them is also insanely difficult and honestly a bit too difficult to properly do without some help. See, the original Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire games came with a handbook with Braille letters. If you dive at a specific spot in a current-ridden route, you'll come across the 'Sealed Chamber', where you'll have to follow the Braille instructions, among which requires you to have a Wailord and Relicanth on specific slots in your party. After doing so, you'll hear the 'sounds of locks being unlocked' or something dramatic like that, with the tablets in that underwater chamber noting that the ancient people "sealed it" because they were afraid of "its power". Very cool!

Regirock, Regice and Registeel themselves are found on these previously-doorless tombs, each surrounded by six other rocks, and, judging by the Ruin Maniacs around these tombs, are the locations of where whatever ancient civilization buried these golems in. And in each tomb, you need to do another Braille puzzle (sometimes ordering you to walk in a very specific direction, and another asking you to just use the HM Flash) to finally enter the hidden chamber where one of the golems is bound. This would be one of the most intricate ways to capture a legendary pokemon ever, and as disappointing as the Regis are, they are... insanely flavourful thanks to this. Even moreso when the fourth generation rolled along, and the identity of the mysterious "it" mentioned in the Braille markings (often thought to just be a mistranslation of singular/plural forms) ends up being the true master of the Regis -- the mighty Regigigas.

Regirock is always in the running for being my personal favourite out of the three for me, with a H-shaped set of Braille eyeballs, two club-like arms, a set of spikes made out of rocks jutting out of its back, and a patchwork body that works well with the lore that states that Regirock self-medicates by replacing missing chunks of its body with rocks it finds nearby.

 4/6.

The second member of the trio and the one that I always consider to be my favourite, Regice, is made entirely out of ice, and like Regirock, has cool club-arms and spikes made out of ice jutting out of its back. Its Braille eyes are in the shape of a plus, and it hovers on two tiny conical feet. It's a neat concept, a chunk of ice sculpted into a golem and given life, even if those hands and legs just look immensely impractical for actual hand and foot function. Good thing that Regice just mostly hovers around and shoots ice from its hands. 

As a side-note... Regice is officially pronounced in English as REJ-ice thanks to how it's spelled, which is dumb. You should really pronounce it Re-Gi-Ice, because... well, I don't really have to explain it, yeah? The whole trio is just 'Regi' with their element stapled to the back of it. Aslo, Regice's English dub voice is the most pleasant thing to hear. Maybe it's because I've always liked ice monsters a bit better than rock monsters, but I think Regice is my favourite of the three. Depending on the day, though I might say it's Regirock.

 5/6.

After how neatly inorganic Regirock and Regice looks, Registeel honestly looks just fucking weird. Its eyes are arranged in the same design as the rocks that form the golem's tombs, leading most to assume that Registeel is the 'boss' out of the three. Registeel's design is just alien-looking, with more defined arms, the way the center of its steel body slopes down into the black stuff... it's a design that, while probably my least favourite of the three, is one that I've ended up warming up towards over the years. The neat, smooth bulb of a main body and its weirdly flexible-looking arms growing on my over the years, and while as a kid I hated how it doesn't look like a proper, hard-jointed robot the way Metagross did, I've came to appreciate how alien this thing looks, being simultaneously metallic and looking far more organic compared to its two brothers. Add that to far more interesting details of having a hollow body and being made of a metal not found on earth, and Registeel ends up having the most unique dex entries compared to Rock and Ice. Also, just put all three of them next to each other, yeah? Regirock looks so chunky and blocky, Regice looks so angular yet symmetrical, and Registeel is just so rounded. Yet even without the unifying braille pattern thing, they still look like three parts of the same set while looking so very distinct from each other, in the same way that Kanto and Johto's respective legendary trios were. 

Overall, I've always had a huge, huge appreciation for these three, with the biggest points against them being how weirdly un-Pokemon they might look... but they at least look pretty pleasant, and a trio of alien-looking golem robots have always been something that appealed to me as a kid. Part of it is because of how badass they look adorning the card packs of the EX Hidden Legends TCG booster packs, but honestly? I've thought that this three are easily the most overlooked pokemon with such a fascinating backstory, being a lot more interesting compared to the bland, nondescript mass of details that plague the legendaries of the fourth and fifth generation.

 3/6. 

#380-381: Latias & Latios

• Types: Dragon/Psychic
• Japanese names: Ratiasu, Ratiosu
• Categories: Eon [both; Infinity in Japanese]

As a kid, I LOVED these two. They're so sleek, so badass-looking, and it's clear that these two are designed to just grab attention and be marketable, being simultaneously adorable and badass. Over the years, I've gone from absolutely loving Latias to Latios to loathing them for being over-exposed and over-hyped, and then that hate looped back into a neat appreciation of this pair of psychic dragons.

Perhaps created because the company pre-empted how most kids prefer their badass animals compared to clunky mysterious golems, Latias and Latios harken back to the Legendary Beasts of the second generation, roaming around Hoenn after you beat the game, whereas the Regis functioned as the stationary legendaries on smaller dungeons the way that the Birds did. Latias is exclusive to Sapphire, and Latios is exclusive to Ruby, and the pair are siblings. Starring in the fifth pokemon movie, these two are also two of the first legendaries to appear in official fiction. And yet while I enjoy Pokemon Heroes a lot, I always feel that Latias and Latios really could've stood to have some sort of backstory beyond just being "the Eon Duo" and being vague and mysterious.

Latias and Latios are essentially the same pokemon, with a design that combines a dragon and a jet, and they're... unique? I really like how their arms can fold down into their body if they needed to fly, and I kinda like how their wings and... 'lower legs' are just stationary chunks. Their only difference is their gender, swapping the reds and blues around, and giving Latias a friendlier eye and Latios a sterner look. Their stats are swapped around a little, and Latias learns the move 'Mist Ball', which in fiction would allow her to become invisible by refracting light. Latios has the far cooler-sounding 'Luster Purge', a powerful psychic move. They're not a bad pair of designs, but the constant portrayal of them being part of a small herd always made me frown a little at their 'legendary' status. Still, I can't really be too negative about them -- they're honestly a neat addition to the pokemon family, and while I'm not as attached to them as I was before, I still count them as pokemon that I do like thanks to the simple coolness factor they possess.

 4/6, admittedly more thanks to nostalgia.

#382: Kyogre

• Type: Water
• Japanese name: Kaioga
• Category: Sea Basin

I am wholly biased in favour of the weather-legendaries of Hoenn, and honestly part of it is because they took a neat concept and did it first, something that the next couple of generations would kind of just copy. See, Kyogre and Groudon are the mascots of the Sapphire and Ruby versions respectively. They each possess opposing abilities -- Groudon is able to create a permanent 'Sunny Day' effect and its presence upon being awakened is to create landmasses and dry up the sea. Kyogre creates a permanent 'Rain Dance' effect, and its presence causes whirlpools and rainstorms to happen. And then, in the 'remastered' Emerald version, the third powerful legendary Rayquaza turns out to be the big brother that descends down to bitch-slap Kyogre and Groudon as the trio master. The simple idea of a sea monster and a land monster in constant conflict, and then a sky monster comes in to pull them apart, is pretty damn cool. Epic enough to serve as a plotline to threaten a region, and not too absurdly huge that it loses the concept of scale, something that future generations of pokemon and many other manga/anime series tend to do. 

Kyogre is the massive powerful 'Sea Basin' pokemon, conceptually based on yet another Hebrew beast, the sea monster Leviathan. Instead of the more common interpretation of the leviathan as a dragon, Kyogre harkens back to the very first classic legends by being a giant whale. An orca, to be specific... and it always looks awesomely mean-looking. It has got these huge flippers, this stern expression under which it has a goofy whale-mouth and I've always been impressed by the dorsal fins and the tapering set of tails. It's mainly blue, but it's got red runic markings that run all over it... which I think strikes a neat balance of looking mystical while not over-designed, with many of the lines and runes actually moving in sync with Kyogre's basic whale anatomy. Due to Kyogre's fin-markings coincidentally resembling an "alpha" letter, it would end up as the genesis of its primal 'Alpha' form a decade later. Also, as a side-note, while officially a mere 4.5 meters long in the games, every single fictional appearance of Kyogre plays it up as a far, far larger kaiju-sized monster, and that's the mental image I have of Kyogre. 

The idea of a slumbering beast deep beneath a region being awoken by a dastardly team, and then proceeding to wreak absolute havoc by creating gigantic rainstorms, deluges and floods is just amazing, and shown amazingly well in the Pokemon Adventures manga (I maintain that the Hoenn arc, ending aside, is the pinnacle of epicness for that manga) and in the visuals for this Pokemon Generations short. Kyogre's a huge whale monster that brings the rain, and I'm a huge fan of it... even if I've been mis-pronouncing it as Kyo-grey throughout most of my life instead of Kai-oh-ger.

 6/6. 

#383: Groudon

• Type: Ground
• Japanese name: Guradon
• Category: Continent

Kyogre's opposite number is Groudon. Groudon brings in the sunlight and dries up the sea with its presence, and it's a pure-Ground type instead of a Fire-type like everyone originally thought he was... he just lives in lava, yeah? Groudon is a massive, big tyrannosaur-like creature with red armour plates, spikes all over and these cool jagged edges on its head and tail, and it sleeps in a volcano. There's not really that much to talk about Groudon that I haven't already covered with Kyogre... although I've honestly always found Groudon to be a fair bit too cluttered for my liking. That's not to say that it isn't a bad design, but between the very weirdly-angled legs as well as its unwieldy arms and claws, it really is somewhat hard to really visualize Groudon really moving without looking silly and waddling around. Multiple appearances in anime and manga have gotten somewhat creative with this, taking some extra liberties with giving it extra joints or just playing up the Godzilla theme by having his mere presence be the threat as opposed to its moving around.

Where Kyogre is based on the leviathan, Groudon is based on the land monster behemoth, the leviathan's land counterpart in Hebrew mythology. However, this is far more loose of an interpretation compared to Kyogre. The behemoth tends to be portrayed as a hippo or an elephant. Groudon, clearly, is a Godzilla-style giant monster.  

Groudon is pretty damn cool, and the favourite over Kyogre for the majority of my friends. And its head in particular is an amazingly well-designed dinosaur monster head... but overall I honestly prefer Kyogre over Groudon for how sleek Kyogre looks even with all those runes, and Groudon's definitely the most... "toy-like" out of the three Hoenn mascot legendaries. Not to say that I don't like Groudon, though. He's a pretty cool sunlight-bringing landmass-creating elemental dinosaur. I mean, I like him enough to give him an extra ball than the 3/5 that the design by itself probably deserves.

 5/6. 

#384: Rayquaza

• Types: Dragon/Flying
• Japanese name: Rekkuza
• Category: Sky High

Rayquaza is the 'master' of the trio, being perhaps one of my favourite dragon designs, combining the reptilian head of a western dragon with the long, serpentine body and tiny limbs of an eastern dragon, wedging in pretty firmly in where pokemon as a franchise tends to have its best design aesthetic -- a combination of two art styles. Rayquaza's red tooth-lip things have always been weird, but I've always felt that Rayquaza's serpentine body, its cool fins that appear on segments, and the yellow runes that run down its body are all amazingly cool, marking this Dragon/Flying monster as being connected in some way to Groudon and Kyogre even before Emerald makes that connection official. I do find the weird jet-esque wings on Rayquaza to be a bit iffy, though... between Latias, Latios, Salamence, Flygon and Rayquaza, someone designing these dragons really had an airplane love going on, huh? Rayquaza himself perches atop the Sky Pillar, the only tower tall enough to reach the ozone layer where Rayquaza inhabits and feeds of.

Rayquaza sort of fits the role of Ziz from Hebrew mythology, but only from a flavour standpoint, because Ziz is a bird. Rayquaza, as you can see... is not a bird. While the concept of a 'sky beast, land beast and sea beast' might be similar to Hebrew mythology of a sort, Gamefreak's designers have incorporated such a strong weather theme and such distinctive designs into Rayquaza, Groudon and Kyogre that they are honestly their own thing.

Rayquaza's just a legendary resting atop the Sky Pillar in Ruby and Sapphire, but just as Suicune got an extra role in Crystal, Rayquaza got an extra role in Emerald. You see, instead of the evil team awakening one legendary, in Emerald both evil teams wake Kyogre and Groudon up, forcing you, the protagonist, to seek the aid of Rayquaza, awakening it and having it fly all the way to Sootopolis to calm down its two siblings. Coincidentally, Rayquaza's ability, Air Lock, prevents Groudon and Kyogre's weather effects from occurring. The Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire remakes would expand upon Rayquaza's lore and tie it into the then-current mega evolution storyline, noting that Rayquaza is the first pokemon to ever achieve mega evolution (apparently because it noms on meteors), has a dragon clan that worships it, and is able to mega evolve without the aid of a mega stone... but we'll talk about Rayquaza's connections with mega evolution when we reach there. Whatever the case, though, Rayquaza is simply one of the most badass legendaries out there, being pretty fucking majestic. Oh, and its shiny form is black-and-gold. That's just awesome. Overall, as much as I'm going to complain about legnedaries in the future, I've always thought that between the Lati twins and the weather trio in Hoenn, the third generation has that neat balance between complexity and sleekness that future legendaries wouldn't quite reach that consistently. I like him.

 6/6. 

#385: Jirachi

• Types: Steel/Psychic
• Japanese name: Jirachi
• Category: Wish

The third generation has two 'mythical' pokemon, the term for event-exclusive legendary pokemon that you can only get from real-life events and unable to capture properly by just playing the game. The first of these mythical pokemon is Jirachi, who fills in the cute, pixie-esque legendary as Mew and Celebi before him. And Jirachi is... pretty dang cute! I'm genuinely not sure why he's Psychic/Steel, though. Psychic I get, because it's the type generally assigned to these powerful little fairies before the introduction of the actual Fairy-type, but Steel? Nothing in Jirachi really communicates Steel, and I honestly think that it's given the type just to be competitive and not be a fragile wreck like poor Celebi. Jirachi is the star of the movie Jirachi Wish-Maker, perhaps one of the more solid pokemon movie ever produced (and, if you've been paying attention, apparently a movie that really hit home to me as a kid). The legend of Jirachi really felt legendary --  this is a cute little godlike fairy that emerges from a rock every one thousand years, and hung around for a week (or, y'know, forever if you actually got a Jirachi in-game), being able to grant any wish written on the notes that hung from its head. It's sort of a combination of genie legends and, oh, something akin to the Dragon Balls. 

Jirachi himself is based on the Japanese festival of Tanabata, also known as the 'Star Festival' in Japan, where one of the traditions is to write a wish on a strip of paper for good fortune. I've always loved how Jirachi communicates all this by having a head and those trailing tails (which themselves look like parts of traditional Japanese clothing) shaped like a cartoon star without being too obvious about it like Luvdisc. 

More modern dex entries in ORAS notes that Jirachi is able to fight even while asleep, and sometimes those of pure heart will be able to awaken Jirachi from its sleep, helping to add some extra context to its weird thousand-year-slumber deal going on. Also a big fan of how Jirachi's cloth-like tails actually wrap around its body like baby wrappings. 

I also really liked the fact that while Jirachi can grant simple wishes with the aid of its inherent psychic powers, for the most powerful wishes (bringing a fake Groudon to life in the movie; bringing a fake Kyogre to life in the manga) it has to tap into the power of its giant eye in its belly, drawing in mysterious power from a comet that passes through and coincides with Jirachi's awakening. Between all these details and the immensely interesting backstory given to Jirachi, I've always found him to be one of the more interesting of the 'pixie' legendaries, and actually do like him a fair bit.

 4/6.

#386: Deoxys

• Type: Psychic
• Japanese name: Deokishisu
• Category: DNA

Deoxys is one of the most insane concepts of pokemon out there, being a weird shapeshifting alien. No ambiguity of 'oh, this pokemon is seen when shooting stars about' like Starmie, Cleffa or Lunatone either. The pokedex straight-up tells us the origin story of Deoxys by telling us that it is the DNA of a space virus mutated by space radiation. It's such a drastic, sci-fi legendary in the vein of Mewtwo as compared to the more mystical 'golems of an ancient civilization' theme that the Regis have or 'sealed beasts of immense power' that the weather trio and Jirachi have. Deoxys is a space alien, and its design draws from the double strand shape of DNA, or, y'know, deoxyribonucleic acid, which Deoxys draws its name from. Tell you what -- I actually ended up memorizing what DNA stands for as a kid thanks to pokemon. Thanks, Deoxys!

Deoxys is a pure Psychic-type humanoid that looks both humanoid and alien at the same time, and I'm such a huge fan of its cool orange-and-blue colour scheme. Its main 'core' is the crystalline heart on his chest, and in its original 'Normal' form, it looks pretty cool. From the menacing eyes, to the huge thighs to the intertwined double helix tentacle arms to the flat horns, Deoxys looks like an alien. Oh, and at any time, it can turn its tentacles into a more humanoid set of hands, adding to the sheer creepiness of this psychic space alien, and various game sprites would alternate between giving Deoxys one human hand and one tentacly hand, or two tentacly hands. 

That is how Deoxys appeared in Ruby/Sapphire... but moving Deoxys to another game in the third generation will transform its shape as it apparently 'adapts' to the region it gets sent to. Later generations will simply include four meteorites that Deoxys can touch to freely transform outside of battle, but it's such a bizarre method that I found to be super cool. Later generations would run the concept of 'alternate forms' to the ground without much justification other than to market extra forms, but the idea of this alien creature just adapting to the surroundings is just pretty fucking damn cool. It's a neat combination of how aliens tend to be portrayed as -- think Frieza from Dragon Ball Z meets the xenomorph from Alien, all done in the style of the angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion. 

Also, Deoxys's other three forms are all hideously min-maxed that it's not even funny. Speed, Attack and Defense form Deoxys all hold the record for the absolute highest stats on their respective stats that remain unchallenged until the mega evolutions came in the sixth generation, and for good reason. When specialized into such forms, Deoxys ends up sacrificing so much of its other stats. 

Attack-Form Deoxys is perhaps the one that looks the closest to the regular form, but its tentacles have tapered off to sharp-pointed tentacles, and everything about it ends up looking like horns. From its head to its feet, and the way that its main body lacks the orange exoskeleton makes this look definitely far more threatening. Originally exclusive to the FireRed game, Attack Form Deoxys, as you can imagine, ends up being super popular for its potential to just blow through anything in its path with immense attacking capabilities. Deoxys has its own powerful signature move, called Psycho Boost, essentially a more powerful Psychic. I guess I have to note that in the original third-generation games, the alternate forms debuted with their respective games as they were released across the course of the generation, with the older games not having the sprites needed, so they just ended up displaying a normal-forme Deoxys. It also caused a bit of an uproar since this is the first time something is introduced in the games in the middle of the generation. Oh, how naive we were. 

Defense-Form Deoxys is the reverse of everything that attack-form Deoxys is. Its legs are stumpier and blocker, its head essentially disappears into a hunchbacked chest, and its arms have tapered off into thick ribbon-like arms that ends up making this thing look like it's built to take hits. The Defense form was initially exclusive to LeafGreen. 

My least favourite of the Deoxys forms is probably the Speed-form Deoxys, which isn't really that much of a damnation since I still like it a lot. It's got a weird elongated skull that sort of brings to mind a xenomorph, which fits with its "moving really fast" theme. It's shed a lot of its orange bits to seemingly be faster, and its tentacles are reduced to just two -- one orange and one blue. Speed-form Deoxys was initially exclusive to Emerald, and these forms are the first time when Nintendo debuted extra forms with newer games in a generation.

Deoxys is apparently so cool that Nintendo decided to give it to everyone in the sixth generation Hoenn remakes, marking the first time that a distribution-only mythical pokemon ends up being retconned into one you can get anytime as long as you play through the game. Deoxys is the star of his own movie, "Destiny Deoxys", which is actually a neat movie itself, as well as the main villain-slash-antagonist in the FireRed/LeafGreen arc of Pokemon Adventures, and in both movies it features Deoxys freely changing between its four forms in the middle of battle, as well as there being two Deoxys-es present. In the Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire games, Deoxys is located within the heart of a meteor coming down to Hoenn, and you have to ride a Rayquaza up to battle it in space. 

Deoxys is pretty cool, and honestly the more I talk about Deoxys, the more I love it. And while I did complain a bit about the amount of legendaries in this generation, I think the third generation's cluster of ten perhaps ends up being the right balance of feeling like there's a fair amount to collect without overwhelming or underselling the uniqueness of a legendary pokemon. Deoxys is pretty cool, and we'll see in a couple of weeks whether I will feel the same about any other pokemon. 

 6/6. 

___________________________________________________________________

Overall Hoenn is a pretty freaking solid generation, despite some of its flaws. The first, third and fifth contain many of my favourites by a huge, huge margin, and that's exactly because these generations were designed to be self-contained with their population (and maybe with the odd Zubat and Magikarp borrowed, but still) unlike the second, which was designed as an expansion pack of sorts, and the fourth, which feels like an elaborate expansion pack. Next week we're leaving the oceans of Hoenn and going to the mountain peaks of Sinnoh!