Kamen Rider Zero-One, Episode 23: I'm In Love With Your Intelligence
An... interesting episode? We're still in a relatively low-stakes, chill storyline, and one that surprisingly isn't the third part of the company takeover competition arc. It's kind of a neat break, and this episode kind of feels like a regular Zero-One two-parter story mushed into a single episode, at least as far as the civilian storyline goes, anyway.
We start off with an interesting conundrum as Aruto is confused about what to do, trying every single Progrise Key on his driver and none of them is authorized by the driver -- and Aruto isn't too keen on using Metal Cluster Hopper after its disastrous, out-of-control debut. So I guess there's some sort of logic to Amatsu Gai giving him what's basically a power-up item? It locks his driver from using other keys and forces him to use the unstable Metal Cluster key?
He gets interrupted when Chiharu Ebi, the lady from last week's trial episode, barges in and demands Aruto help her find a husband. There are... there are a lot of other avenues for you to look for someone to help you get married, but okay, apparently Chiharu chooses to go to the barely-an-adult president of a massive company. It's a neat usage of actress Komiya Arisa to have her hang around for a couple more episodes, because I truly felt she was utterly underused in the previous arc. It's also kind of realistic, I suppose, that even with her fiance being declared innocent, that there's too much bad blood between them for them to get back together.
This leads to Aruto and Izu introducing Chiharu to what's basically a combination of Tinder and an old-school matchmaker, all rolled into a single Humagear package -- Emsubi Match. It's genuinely one of the weirdest and probably least practical thing you could comission a high-tech human-like robot to do, but okay. We get a brief little exposition telling us that Match apparently uses a combination of instant personality scans as well as scanning the contents of Chiharu's phone in order to build a profile for them, but while Match is charismatic and goes around giving these confident speeches, he also doesn't mince words, quickly surmising from Chiharu's usage of fortune teller apps and her tendency in cherry-picking her fortunes that she has a hard case of trusting anyone, and also she's easily tricked. Chiharu is angry, but then Match goes into this pretty neat speech about how finding a partner isn't about finding someone perfect and unattainable, but about finding someone practical and she can't ignore reality to do so.
After a hammy BESTOOH MATCHHIII sequence of hamminess from Match and Aruto, we cut to a traditional Japanese meeting place near a garden, where Match has found someone suitable that's "honest and forthcoming with their opinion"... and of course, said person ends up being Amatsu fucking Gai. Gai's apparently looking for a bride and is accompanied by a very non-plussed Yua, who ends up being basically Gai's hype-man. And while Yua has been criminally underused in the recent episodes of the show, all props go to the actress in this scene! She clearly doesn't want to be there or to be singing Gai's praises as this super-duper-awesome-Mary-Sue-character, and while she's contractually obliged to do whatever her boss tells her to do, you can sense the eye-roll in the way she delivers this scene.
Also fun is Izu interrupting Gai's "I look eternally 22" line by dropping the bombshell that Gai is 45, and both Gai and Aruto's expressions in that scene where they all glare at Izu is amazing. Match then continues on to drone about why Gai is someone that's suitable for Chiharu... noting that Gai is an extreme egoist with a huge ego problem and is extremely selective in his choices, which is the reason behind his utterly cataclysmic love life, and noting how such forwardness is required for Chiharu in a partner. And I absolutely love Gai's expression getting more and more pissed off as Match insults him over and over, and Yua in the background is barely holding her laughter with a hand over her mouth. Gai, having the maturity of a child, gets pissed off and despite shrugging off the fact that some things in life are more suited to A.I., walks off muttering about how unreilable Humagears are. It's hilarious.
It's about the middle point of the episode, though, and we get our Raider of the week, the -googles- Storming Penguin, who charges in to interrupt the meeting. Yua jumps into the fight and transforms into Valkyrie, but really, Yua's almost an afterthought in this scene, because the focus is clearly on Aruto's angst on being unable to transform. The fight between Valkyrie (who refuses to go into her powered-up form for some reason) and the Penguin Raider ends up with Aruto knocked aside and Match being ripped apart, exposing all the roboty parts inside. Gai's just happy to watch all this going on because he's a piece of shit, and Aruto ends up going into Metal Cluster Hopper form, getting consumed by all the evil kanji again.
Metal Cluster Hopper, once again, attacks everyone present, causing the Penguin monster to escape. It's at this point that Yua remembers she has a powered-up form and goes into Lightning Hornet mode, and we get a brief cool bit of CGI bees fighting CGI locusts, but of course Metal Cluster overwhelms Yua's attacks and Metal Cluster Aruto starts beating the hit out of Valkyrie. The suit actor does a great job at portraying this, constantly tilting the head and just making Metal Cluster look like he's some sort of monster zombie or something. Fuwa shows up in his Assault Wolf mode, and there's a cool bit where Fuwa basically steals Aruto's AxeRise weapon and converts it to his GunRise weapon and then uses it to shoot gigantic robo-gorilla fists at Aruto. The Punching Kong attack doesn't take out Metal Cluster Hopper, but it's enough for Yua to sprout hornet wings and rip out the Metal Cluster key from Aruto's belt, undoing the transformation. Fuwa is understandably pretty pissed off at Aruto's rampage, and Gai shows up just to mock Aruto before tossing the Metal Cluster Hopper key to the ground.
We cut to another Fuwa/Horobi scene, and after his flip-out in the previous episode, Horobi is surprisingly calm, being all fufufu and chill, noting how Gai is underestimating the Humagears, and the Ark will be super angry at being used. Okay, Horobi, if you say so. There's also a bit of a cheesy thing where Aruto is angsting about all of the evil nasty feelings from the Ark corrupting the Metal Cluster Hopper key, before the repaired Match shows up and hams things up, talking about how "the best match in the battle against evil is good!" and we get a couple more discussions about analyzing the 'good data' and 'evil data' and whatnot, and... I dunno. It feels kind of off to suddenly drop ambiguous terms like those? It's pretty on-brand for Tokusatsu shows, I suppose, but considering the relatively more sci-fi oriented show so far, it's jarring to randomly go into "hey this data is EEEVIL".
Also, at this point, we get introduced to Chiharu Ebi's childhood friend and also the obvious candidate for the Penguin Raider, Teruo, who dresses up in a weird little onesie, and is clearly holding a torch for Chiharu. Also, apparently Chiharu has been buggering off to see Match a lot ever since their first meeting, having clearly fallen for Match and quoting Match's catchphrases and talking about how there might be no man that stands up to Match's standards. Teruo is about to get physical with Match and this causes him to get escorted out of the Hiden building, but Match's ability to analyze people apparently extends to movements, and Teruo's way of throwing a punch matches that of the Penguin Raider.
And I feel like this is where the episode is moving a bit too fast. It's just the civilian-of-the-week plot so it doesn't really matter, but the setup to Chiharu falling for Match is pretty abrupt, and so is her childhood friend popping out of nowhere. Match decides to confirm the Raider's identity... by, uh, making a whole skit where Chiharu gets married to him in a church? With Matsuda Enji dressed up as a priest? And apparently this is supposed to be a 'rehearsal' for Chiharu, while Aruto brings in Teruo to observe how a match-making Humagear works. Teruo goes absolutely angry and jealous and crazy, and I absolutely love Aruto trying to handwave the almost-kiss by talking about "well, technically, we could use a broad definition of matchmaking..."
Teruo buggers off and turns into the Storming Penguin Raider outside the church, while Match, of course, doesn't intend to go through with the kiss (this is a kid's show, after all, kissing is basically like third base for these people). Chiharu is still all happy and wants Match to marry her for reals, because Match is so forward with her and whatnot. Match then goes into a bit of a rant, insisting that they're a bad match and he can't be compatible with a selfish human. Izu, observing this from the sidelines, realizes that Match is purposefully being a dick to get Chiharu to lose interest in the robo-fucking... before Izu gets a shocked realization that apparently Match had asked her about "the worst thing to say to a human" minutes before the operation for this.
And what happened next is apparently Match going into a nasty, nasty tirade of curse-words that are censored with a funny image of Izu crossing her arms in front of a "stop" sign, and while we don't hear what Match says, apparently it's enough to get not just Aruto, but also Matsuda Enji in the background to convulse and gesticulate in shock. This show is ridiculous and I love it. Aruto is bamboozled on who taught Match all those nasty words, and Izu's stammered apology is hilarious, too.
Chiharu slaps Match in anger, and... and apparently this triggers the Magia-ization of Match? Even though... this is the intended reaction? I'm not perfectly sure what's going on here, because the way Match transforms into the Gaeru Magia seems to be extra-hammy, and if there was a point when he is exposed to human malice, surely it'd be when Teruo attempted to attack him in the Hiden office? Whatever the case, Match the Gaeru Magia slaps Chiharu aside, and he begins duking it out with Teruo as the Penguin Raider, and you're not really sure who to root for here. The fight goes out of the church as Aruto goes into Metal Cluster Hopper, and we get three not-quite-evil characters fighting each other.
Aruto, still struggling against the tide of evil kanji, tries his best to not kill either Match or Teruo, and while Metal Cluster clearly overwhelms the two monsters in power, it's gaining control and not overdoing the murder that's the problem. Gai, of course, shows up with his dumb umbrella, Zetsumesu-evolution's and transforms, and poor Chiharu gets even more and more confused. As with before, Metal Cluster still overpowers Thouser, blocking the spear, choking Thouser and attacking him with a mass of locusts. We get to see the debut of Metal Cluster Hopper's finisher as he unleashes Metal rising Impact, unleashing a swarm of locusts to form a couple of clones, leaving the empty undersuit, and we get a multi-rider kick. Thouser uses his Jack-rise to summon Shining Hopper's Gundam Funnels to block the attack, but the finisher takes out both the Raider and the Magia.
Interestingly, rewatching the scene, Match the Magia seems to jump in the way and take the brunt of the attack from hitting Teruo? (Or is that just some poor coordination from the stunt team and the Gaeru Magia just reacts to the explosions a bit too early?) And when he dies, he gives a huge thumbs-up and yells 'best match' when Chiharu hugs Teruo, and then exploding into a heart? It could just be inconsistency in writing for the sake of a gag, or there might be a bit more of Match that's left in the berserking Gaeru Magia. I'm not entirely sure.
Oh yeah, and also, Chiharu hugs Teruo and is impressed, somehow, by the fact that Teruo "did it all" for her? Uh... get really jealous and transforming into a monster to attack people? Like, okay, sure, Chiharu ending up with Match is kind of weird and raises a lot of human/robot-sex ethical questions, but I really feel like the writing between Teruo and Chiharu to be kind of off.
Anyway, the battle between Zero One and Thouser continues for a bit more, and we get a cool bit where Thouser throws his spear and uses it as a springboard to get behind Metal Cluster, only for Metal Cluster Hopper to react quick enough and summon floating metal crystal shields before side-kicking Thouser easily. Gai gives this huge speech about how grasshoppers are scum creatures that swarm, destroy crops and cannibalize their own, and Zero-One now embodies their vile nature... which kind of comes out of nowhere? Meanwhile, Aruto, still in the angry-kanji hellscape, seems to sink deeper into the void. Next episode seems to be something that's going to focus more on Metal Cluster Hopper in general, since it seems like we have a conclusion to the matchmaker story.
Overall... it's a very rough story, and I still feel like the Chiharu/Teruo and Chiharu/Match dynamics could've gone with a bit of a better pacing. But hey, the episode is truly enjoyable to sit through for the simple reason that it's perhaps the most genuinely funny Zero-One episode in a long while. A heavily flawed episode, but definitely an enjoyable one.
Random Notes:
- Joining his Go-Busters co-star is Ryoma Baba as Match, who plays Iwasaki Ryuji, the Blue Buster. This isn't Ryoma Baba's first Kamen Rider outing, having previously played Otaki Ryusuke in Kamen Rider Amazons, the member of the Peston group that got turned into the Dragonfly Amazon in the first episode.
- Enji Matsuda the Humagear actor (played by the same actor that plays Kazuraba Kouta's dead buddy!) makes a return from episode 11.
- All the hammy BEST MATCH!!! that Match and Aruto do throughout the episode is very hammy, and makes me remember Kamen Rider Build. No rabbits or tanks show up in this episode, though.
- There's a brief gag of the vice-president and his lackey showing up at Match's matchmaking place because they're single and divorced respectively and they're just awkwardly trying to deny that they're also looking for love, but because they're the jerk butt-monkeys in a show aimed at children they don't have a best match.
- There is a law against marrying Humagears, which of course there are!
- Know Your Raiders: We don't get to see Teruo transform or hear the jingle, but he uses the Storming Penguin key. It sure is an interesting penguin monster!
- The Gimmick Watch: "Metal Rising Impact!" is Metal Cluster's finisher.
- Izu's official romanized name is "Is", but that's honestly a bit confusing to type out, so I'm sticking with "Izu".
- It's so weird to see Metal Cluster be treated as this terrifying form by both the in-universe characters and the suit actor also really portraying it as basically a rampaging zombie, but the jingle for Metal Cluster Hopper is still pretty dang cheerful.
- Izu claims that the best way to go around investigating the 'evil data' used to make the Metal Cluster Hopper key is to get said data straight from Zaia Enterprises, but... but don't you have the Metal Cluster Hopper key in your possession? Why don't you analyze the data inside the driver-corrupting thing?
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