Reviewing Monsters - Final Fantasy VII, Part 4

Part four of my coverage of Final Fantasy VII monsters! This is a part of the game that took... a while for me to get through. It's one where there's a lot of option to just wander in the overworld, which, of course, is what I did. The past couple of levels have been pretty cutscene-heavy, and this segment of my playthrough was exploration-heavy. I also did a bit of item-hunting and whatnot. There's a bit of story in Mt. Corel, but for the most part it's mostly just feels... filler-y? Granted, I'm not the biggest fan of the "Cloud dresses up as a Shinra soldier" segment either, which does make me feel kind of a bit burned out in this part of the game. 

Then there's the Gold Saucer, too, and... it's a fun area of minigames. I'm just not sure how I feel about it, honestly, especially since how much it can take up my time and quite literally distract from the main game... but I just found the whole Gold Saucer bit to be pretty... exhausting. Maybe it's the state of mind I had personally when I reached there, but I really wanted that whole sequence to be over with. On the other hand, it's neat to have a lot of the mini-games basically concentrated to a single area. There's also a fair bit of backtracking that I did around the Gold Saucer segment because I cracked open a guide and realized that I missed a lot of things. Like an entire party member! And a lot of items, and enemy skills! 

Also, a bit of a bonus for the 'Summon' Materia guys I've gotten up to this point. 

Grangalan

Oh, man, I hate these guys. They show up so much in the Corel area. The Grangalan is this weird robotic oval head that looks vaguely like a robot made out of wood? It splits open in the middle and shoots out metallic sawblades at you. And then sometimes it spits out a smaller version of himself called Grangalan Jr, which will in turn spit three Grangalan Jr Jr. The little copies block any physical attack from reaching the biggest one on the back, although focus-firing ranged attack on the original Grangalan will kill all of them present. It's a Matryoshka Doll enemy, and such a bizarre way to implement one. Why are these guys wandering grasslands and the sides of mountains? I don't understand. They're annoying. 

Grangalan is an enemy in Final Fantasy VII found on the beaches in the Corel Area and Gold Saucer Area, and can also be fought in the final round of the Battle Square before the player obtains the Tiny Bronco. When fought in the Battle Square its stats are enhanced with double the normal HP and its Attack and Magic Attack are increased by 25%.

Cokatolis / Cockatrice

The original Japanese name for this guy is, if you can probably guess, "Cockatrice". Or, rather, a katakana-ization of its name, turning it into kokatorisu. "Cokatolis" is sure a terrible butchering of that, huh? It's a pretty faithful, if admittedly boring, adaptation of the cockatrice legend. It's a chicken with spiky tail feathers that spits out 'petrify smog'. It's cool, it's neat to have some monsters that are pretty simple mythological creatures. I just don't have a whole lot to say here. 

Needle Kiss

The other relatively common enemy in this area are the Needle Kisses, which are birds with a way-too-long giant horn-barb jutting out of their forehead. It looks armoured! I don't really have much to say here either, the Needle Kiss zaps you with electricity. It sure is a creature that doesn't look too mutated compared to some of the monsters we've seen. I really don't have an opinion on this one, it sure is a weird bird. 

Bloatfloat

Or "Swell Float", as it's called in the original Japanese, these are repainted versions of the Blugu with a particularly terrifying gimmick -- it will counter-attack you with a hail of spiky thorns if you use magic on it. My first attempt in fighting a Bloatfloat swarm had me punch in a couple of magical abilities in a row, and that ended up with two of my party members killed. Whoops! You'd think that the Bloatfloat shows up in the beach areas that the Beachplug hangs out in, but no. The Bloatfloat hangs out in the mountain region of Mt. Corel, despite being a winged fish. Eh. 

Search Crown

What a bizarre idea for a mushroom monster! Instead of just being a simple mushroom, it's a tall-stalked mushroom, with each segment having massive angry fangs that are ready to chow down on you. Honestly, so few creatures in real life, if any, have rows of mouth on top of each other like this that any time it's used on a monster it feels so odd. Particularly on a mushroom! If the search Crown isn't weird enough, it attacks with four lasers. What? A bizarre and pretty cool enemy! 

 

Bagnadrana

Oh, hey, another dragon! And yet another bug-dragon after the Ark Dragon! Sort of, anyway. This guy has the head and general vibe of a dragon, but the main body is split into a thorax and abdomen, and the six legs are chunky and look bulky like an insect's legs. Despite looking pretty impressive, I don't think this one is particularly any more dangerous than most of the other enemies it shows up alongside. It sure looks pretty cool, though! A huge fan of this one. 

Bomb

The Bombs are a recurring Final Fantasy enemy, and they actually make an appearance in the FFVII remake! And we've covered FFXIII's robo-Bombs before, but these are the real essence of the creatures, giant balls of flame with a grinning fanged skull-face and itty-bitty hands that slowly grow bigger and bigger as they get closer and closer to detonation. Look at that face, they just look so smarmily happy because they know that they're going to blow up, wound your party and leave you with no experience. Bastards! Anyway, these show up in the Mt. Corel area. 

Spencer

Found in the overworld between Gold Saucer and North Corel are these guys. The Spencers are... uh... fishes with really large fins that live on land. Yeah, I dunno. And why is it called 'Spencer'? I dunno, this one just feels kinda weird to me, I don't have much to say about this one. 

Flapbeat

The Flapbeat is the first recolour of the Deenglow wyvern-like enemies we meet before. At least being found in some random plains makes a bit more sense compared to a train graveyard! They launch sickles at you. Again, not much to say here. 

Joker
...and then there are these guys, existing in the same enemy pool as the skinny dragon and the land-fish. These Jokers are skeletons with pretty long claws and a harlequin hat, and he's just hovering with a bunch of cards like it's a hoverboard or something, and his attack animations involve him basically drawing the cards, with each card delivering a different spell. "Spade" is a bunch of slashes;  "Club" (represented with the club you bash people with) casts an Earth-element attack; "Heart" heals you; "Diamond" causes gold to scatter all around you, and "Joker" summons a giant death-skull that can instantly kill you. A surprisingly intricate sequence of attacks and themes for what's otherwise a pretty random minor enemy. 

Bandit

At one point as you explore the Gold Saucer (Disneyland meets Las Vegas meets terrible monetization), and you get dumped into an underground prison? That's like this desert where people who offend Gold Saucer's higher-ups are dumped into? Okay? That's like, the plot to One Piece: Film Gold, and I'm not sure if that's actually a story trope somewhere. Bandits are one of the most common enemies there, and they sure are repaints of thieves before. Not much to say, they're appropriate but they're boring. 

2-Faced

The other common enemy in the Corel Prison are these guys, the "Two-Faced", which are... uh... floating faces, with a grinning clown face on one side and an angry demon face with asymmetrical eyes, a third eye and terrible crooked teeth on the other? These show up in large numbers, and they'll basically flip around and depending on which side comes up, they'll either blow up or cure your party. Bizarre, and I'm honestly not sure what these are supposed to be. A living coin-flip, I guess? But why are they hanging out with bandits? Why are there in an underground casino prison? 

Death Claw

As you venture out from the prisoners' village and into the junkyard around it, you start to meet these guys, the Death Claw, which are... weird humanoids with skull faces and six spider-arms. Okay, that sure is a pretty cool looking monster! I think it's robotic since it shoots lasers and those legs look pretty robot-like, but then it's got such a weird skull face! It reminds me of an Evangelion angel, if we're being honest, except it's not particularly big nor strong. A bizarre but pretty cool encounter!

Bullmotor

The buddies of the Death Claw are these guys, the Bullmotor, which is... uh... it sure is a robot! I'm not quite sure how the anatomy of this thing works. It's got a massive body that's a huge wall of spikes, a single Geth-style robot head, and two exhaust vents, I guess? I'm not entirely sure, but if it's meant to be a junkyard-comprised robot, I suppose it works! Not my favourite out of the Shinra (?) robots, but it sure is a different one. 

Dyne

He's a boss character, so I guess he fits here. Dyne is basically a character involved in Barret's backstory, which you learn all about in the Gold Saucer/Corel Prison sequence. As a boss he's honestly pretty boring, just a dude with a gun arm, but the story behind him and Barret is pretty all right! On Barret's part, at least. Why Dyne went completely nuts beyond a vague "he went crazy out of grief" handwave is never explained. Barret and Dyne fight 1-v-1, though, which is something that I don't think the game's ever done for a boss fight outside of Cloud and Rufus Shinra much earlier. I don't know if all my party members are going to get what's essentially a 'loyalty mission' like what Barret got, but I certainly hope so! 

Land Worm

There are giant dune worms in this game and I missed it??? Basically, if you tried to escape from the Corel Prison by climbing up the walls before going through the whole Barret/Dyne/Chocobo-racing-for-some-reason sequence, you get into an endless, repeating desert where you're accosted by these giant land-worms. It's a pretty cool Dune sand-worm, with a lot of neat spikes and a fun lamprey mouth. It summons sandstorms and earthquakes! I'm sad I don't get to fight them. 

Cactuar

Also missed these guy, although I did meet Cactuars in FFXIII and FFIX. They're the rare encounter in the endless desert segment. These don't actually use the 'Thousand Needles' attack that the Cactuars are known for and is basically just a little easter egg. Okay, sure. I like these cactus guys, they're so goofy. Anyway, I didn't fight the Landworm and Cactuar, but at around this point you get a buggy (???) which allows you to explore more areas in the overworld. 

Grand Horn

That sure is a "Grand Horn" all right. I would've highlighted its giant spiky pillar-like arms, but I do like this giant kaiju monster. Found in the Gongaga area which I explored after getting the buggy, it's got a vaguely dinosaur-like head, a humanoid body, giant spiky arms and two big horns. Its general posture actually vaguely remind me of those huge tree-ogre guys from Diablo 2. They're neat, but beyond looking cool I don't remember them doing a whole ton of interesting things. They just bash you, which is kind of a shame since they actually look pretty damn cool. Particularly in that concept art!

Gagihandi

Appearing in the same areas that the Grand Horns do, the Gagihandi (the Japanese name is Bajigandi, apparently very loosely derived from the Japanese reading of 'Basilisk'?) is just a lizard with particularly large fangs and fin-ears that can do a 'stone stare' attack to petrify you. It's a pretty faithful (if boring) basilisk monster. I don't have a whole ton to say here, it sure is a lizard that petrifies you!

Touch Me

The "Touch Me" is another enemy in the Gongaga area, and it can inflict a status condition called "Frog" by punching you. In which you get transformed into a frog. I always find polymorph effects to be particularly fun in fantasy settings! It's apparently a running gag in all Final Fantasy games, and the VII-remake even gives each individual party members unique frog models which is extra charming. Anyway, these guys are weak but they are a source of one of the enemy skills you can steal and load into your materia, which, of course, is the 'Frog Song'. 

Harpy

Seeing how relatively mundane the adaptations of the Cockatrice and Basilisk are, it's very, very interesting what they did with the Greek Chimaera. The English version mis-translates this into 'harpy' for some reason, and... and simply making the traditional Chimera stand up on two legs alone is an interesting idea, huh? So is arranging all the three animal heads to make this a three-headed ogre-man. And the more details you look at the Chimera, the more end up making this thing look more and more bizarre, huh? The lion had has giant orc tusks, the goat head has a second pair of horns jutting out of where its eyes should be, the big snake head has a pretty demonic snarl and there's a second smaller snake head, it's got dragon wings, lion paws, a centaur set of feet made up of goat feet and bird legs (the 'centaur' bit isn't particularly visible on this specific image, but trust me, it's there)... a pretty fun take on a classic monster that reinvents it without actually steering too much from the original mythological look. I approve. 

Beachplug

Found in the beach areas in the Corel, Gold Saucer and Gongaga areas is the Beachplug here. I like him a lot! He looks, at a glance, like just a long-tentacled squid with a huge conch shell, sort of like a more exaggerated version of something like an ammonite or whatever... but the shell is actually attached to the ground like some sort of bizarre barnacle or limpet. And in one of its attack animations, it will lift its shell off of the ground, revealing a lamprey-like mouth beneath that to bite your characters with. It's like some sort of bizarre mollusk-cephalopod; I like this one. 

Rude

Certainly not the second member of the Turks (Shinra's gang of well-dressed mafia-cum-assassins) you meet, but the second one you fight. You fight Rude and Reno together in Gongaga Area, one of the few locations where a Mako reactor blew up and laid waste to the area. I don't have much to say about original Rude, who's sort of the super-serious member of the group with a somewhat comical streak -- he's got a crush on Tifa, and if she's in your party when you fight him, he'll go out of his way to not attack her. I watched a bunch of the VII-remake stuff; where Rude gets a fair amount of extra prominence, and one of the best moments in the remake is when Rude's sunglasses gets cracked at one point in the fights and without missing a beat he just pulls out a second pair from his breast pocket. What a man. 

Kimara Bug

Very much certainly meant to be "Chimera Bug", this is such a bizarre, fun amalgamation of insects! The base body looks sort of like a praying mantis, with its legs, abdomen, wings and sickle arms. But then you take a closer look, and you see that the front pair of legs actually sprout out from the creature's "shoulder", where you'd traditionally put arms on a creature, and the actual arms sprout out from his back. A simple change, but one that I cannot unsee when I realize it. And there's the heads, too, which, even with the limited graphics, easily shows that Kimara Bug here has the head of a mantis, a butterfly (it's got a curled proboscis!) and what looks like a spider on the bottom. Very cool! I'm a simple bug-lover, and I like this insect man a lot. 

Flower Prong

Huh, this is a weirdo! Found in the same location where the Kimara Bug and the Touch-Me hangs out in are these little itty-bitty fronds with a bizarre-looking... is that a 'head'? Are those eyes? A lot of people point out that this looks like some sort of stylized fetus or embryo. I don't see it, personally, but it sure looks like a face! Deal enough damage to it without killing it, and the Flower Prong will grow bigger and bigger, and I like both of its 'evolved' forms! The second form is a bulb with two lashing tentacles, a bunch of fun leaves and its main stalk kind of looks like a bloody spine. Its final form has two long tendrils ending in eyeballs and a central bulb that has a couple rows of spines. A very, very bizarre looking plant monster, and one with a pretty cool set of transformations. 

Heavy Tank

So the destruction of the Gongaga Mako reactor caused the creation of chimera-bugs, evolving flesh-plants and frog-men... but also Heavy Tank here. How do I even describe him? It's a Triceratops head with particularly long horns, attached to a muscular humanoid torso, attached to a goddamn tank. What has science wrought? It's a goddamn dinosaur cyborg-man, and it simply just exists. Honestly, it's just so over-the-top bizarre, and yet it's just a random enemy in Gongaga with little fanfare. It's just... they made a goddamn tank-dinosaur-man and it's just treated as essentially kind of a random enemy. One of the most straight-up ridiculous concepts in this game, and I love it.

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Summons:

Choco/Mog

Summon materia now! For those that are uninitiated to Final Fantasy, sometimes you can summon enemies as basically one huge magical spell, and they are usually cinematic and badass! More modern games (like FFXIII and FFVII remake) have the summons actually hang out as an additional party member or whatever, but in FVII they're basically just super-powerful once-off spells. The first you can get is the Choco/Mog, short for Chocobo/Moggle. It's a Moggle riding a Chocobo, and if you don't know what a Moogle is, they're... they're cute cat-fairy guys with little bat wings that are basically the other mascot of the Final Fantasy games. Depending on the specific game you're playing they might be near non-existent (like FFXIII) or practically everywhere (like FFIX).

Not a whole ton to say about this one, you just summon two of the comedy monsters in the franchise to beat up your enemy with a hilariously over-the-top attack called "DeathBlow!!" with two exclamation points, and with Adam West BOOM effects popping up. There's also like a 1/16 chance for a 'Fat Chocobo' to be summoned out of nowhere and sit on your enemy. Neat! It's honestly kind of hilarious to see this summon materia be used at all, and I remembered killing Jenova: Birth with this one and it's pretty ridiculous.

Summon materia actually make an adaptational early-appearance in VII-remake, and they split the Choco-Mog and Fat Chocobo materia into two different ones. It's also a bit of an effort to fight them, you have to enter a virtual world to fight the summon materia as a boss and fight them to become their ally. Neat. I really like the VII remake Moogle, it's so cute. And look at that huge CHONK of a Chocobo. 

Shiva

The second Summon Materia you can get and the one that the plot thrusts on you (Choco/Mog is a bit of an Easter Egg) is the recurring ice goddess in Final Fantasy games. Even though the real mythological Shiva has nothing to do with ice. She sure is a sexy fantasy lady that summons blizzards; she's very cool but I don't have much to say about her. 

Ifrit
You get Ifrit's materia after defeating the first Jenova, and Ifrit draws his name from a demon from Islamic mythology. FFVII's Ifrit is an interesting take on the creature. It's still a fire creature, but it's got super-long horns, and a somewhat beastly, satyr-like appearance other than the feet, which end in regular human feet. Not a whole ton to say here, but it sure is a cool giant monster to summon and unleash a fire tornado upon your enemy. The remake's version actually gave him skin texture like molten magma or something, which is a pretty easy and cheap way to make a fire monster, but still pretty cool nonetheless.

Ramuh

Apparently (and debatably) based on Lahmu of Hindu mythology, Ramuh is Final Fantasy's standard lightning-type summon, just this cool old Gandalf-looking deity that summons lightning bolts. All the Final Fantasy summons have basically taken a life of their own in the franchise anyway. He sure is an old wizard man. I feel like the Summons felt kind of weirdly out of place in FFVII's setting in particular. They just kind of show up with no explanation, and no one really comments that we are summoning ancient wizards, fire demons and ice goddesses. 

Titan

Named after the Greek Titans is this guy, Titan, who uses an Earth-element attack. He sure is a giant near-naked muscleman, and he's significantly more boring in appearance compared to Shiva, Ifrit and Ramuh, but I absolutely find his animation to be the most interesting of them all, just lifting the layer of ground underneath the enemy and then rage-flipping it to sandwich the enemy between two chunks of the earth. That's pretty cool, even if Titan himself is kind of boring! 

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Anyway, I did a whole lot of backtracking and stuff in this segment to get items and enemy skills I missed (and recruit Yuffie, who I totally missed on, too) so next up is Cosmo Canyon! I'm not using a guide as I play through this, though I will check onto online guides to see if I miss anything.  I suppose I'll take this time to note that Yuffie technically appears as an enemy, the "Mysterious Ninja", that you need to beat up. She's not exactly a proper enemy or much of a fight, though, so I'll just acknowledge that and move on.