Tuesday 18 April 2023

Gotta Review 'Em All, Part #48: Frigibax to Miraidon

And so we reach the final segment of our review of the Paldean Pokemon introduced in the base game of Scarlet and Violet, though at this point we've already confirmed that at least two DLC's are coming. It is a rather momentous occasion, though, since we've hit the four-digit number with this generation. And if we count every single alternate form, Mega Evolution and Regional Variant, we would've reached far more beyond that number already. 

And I wish I had anything poignant to say here, but... let me just link you guys to this video posted by the official Pokemon YouTube channel. And I do appreciate moments when I look back at all the Pokemon that the past nine generations of games have created. There are some that I like over others, some I love, some I dislike, some that I 'don't get'... but I do really appreciate that this franchise has been managing to go strong for so long, with so many new designs and many that appeal to such a diverse group of fans.

And with this generation in particular, it really does surprise me how pleasantly fun the Paradox Pokemon are, and it's so fun that with close to 30 years of the franchise, we could still get designs as creative and fresh as Gimmighoul or Dondozo/Tatsugiri or Wo-Chien or Skeledirge or Spidops or Arboliva or Scovillain. And as we close off this last handful of Pokemon in the original Paldean Pokedex. Rock on, Pokemon. Rock on! 

Anyway, we've got a bunch of interesting Pokedex arrangement this time around, with the pseudo-legendary placed behind a pair of Pokemon that really isn't that much rarer or more impressive than the others (but their placement is important!), then a bunch of 'set' legendaries, two Paradox Pokemon (which aren't anywhere as limited as legendaries or Ultra Beasts) before the two mascot legendaries... before we continue with some DLC.  Pokemon has never followed any sort of logic for its numbering system, but these are particularly weird!

At the moment of writing, Iron Leaves and Walking Wake have been released, but since there's absolutely no dex entries about them and I'm already having trouble reviewing the Paradox Pokemon, we'll leave them until the DLC comes out!

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Click here for the index.

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#996-998: Frigibax, Arctibax & Baxcalibur
  • Types: Dragon/Ice [all]
  • Japanese names: Sebie, Segoru, Segureibu
  • Categories: Ice Fin [Frigibax, Arctibax], Ice Dragon [Baxcalibur]
The base form of our pseudo-legendary is this weird, uh... yeah, I'm just not a fan of Frigibax, I'm sorry. I get that it's just the baby stage or whatever, but while I like its evolved forms reasonably well, little Frigibax just looks so... so weird. It looks like a weird mutant owl, I think, is the closest thing I can say about it, with stubby little dinosaur legs, arms, and a little spike on the back. It's a waddling head, and while it sure does look unique, I just don't really like its appearance. I'm not sure. Maybe it's that little piece of frozen... spit? Under his lip? Maybe that's what bothers me? 

Frigibax and its evolutions are our first non-legendary ice dragons, and I think it's rather appropriate that the typing and the trope does, at least for now, remain in either legendary or pseudo-legendary status, with how Pokemon builds up ice as the nemesis of dragon-types. Frigibax and its evolutions does have something more going on for it than just being ice dragons, though. Frigibax and its evolutions can absorb heat through its dorsal fin, and can convert the heat into ice energy, and... again, a surprisingly fun explanation of its ice manipulation powers. This is further elaborated with its signature ability, Thermal Exchange, which causes the Frigibax line to get an Attack boost when hit with Fire-type moves. 

All of this is a roundabout way of saying that the Frigibax line is based on the dinosaur Concavenator corcovatus, whose fossils are first discovered in Spain -- one of the locations that Paldea is based off. The Concavenator, in addition to having the most badass-sounding Latin names of all dinosaurs, also has traits that the Frigibax line showcase well, namely a back crest and quills on its forelimbs -- of which actually only Frigibax has them in a 'proper' way where it trails around like feathers. They kind of become Wolverine claws in the evolutions! While the features of dinosaurs are always debated, one of the earlier theories about the Concavenator's 

 1/6 for Frigibax only. 
Arctibax has a more realistic theropodal body structure after it evolves, and Arctibax is a lot more conventionally 'cool'. And... I'm sorry, Frigibax, I just really can't bring myself to like you! Your evolved forms are really cool, though. Arctibax looks like a regular stylized dinosaur, and the hump on its back have evolved into a full-on ice-encrusted sail (not too unlike a Spinosaurus). Those floppy quill-feathers that Frigibax had also turned into two forwards-pointing claws that look like they belong on someone like Wolverine. Pretty cool, too, is Arctibax's ice-encrusted fanged mouth. Arctibax's dex entries note that it freezes the air around it, and that's the reason for its 'ice mask' and 'ice blade dorsal fin'.

Interestingly, Arctibax's way of attacking isn't what you thought it would be -- he doesn't attack with his jaws or those X-23 claws, no. He kicks off the ground with his powerful legs, and then stabs people with the frozen dorsal fin. Awesome. Stupid, but delightfully awesome. 

I don't really have too much to say about Arctibax other than how I really do find him cool -- a lot of the stuff about the Thermal Exchange ability or the basis on the Concavenator have been covered in Frigibax's entry up above. 

Now, I do think that Tyranitar has been the big kaiju/Godzilla reference... but for obvious reasons, it can't really copy everything about Big G. Almost two decades later, Baxcalibur is a 'truer to text' adaptation of Godzilla, except it's an ice dragon instead of a nuclear-breath dragon! I absolutely love, by the way, that the evolution from Arctibax to Baxcalibur transforms the line from a paleontology-accurate theropodal stance to the mistaken 'upright' dinosaur kaiju stance that Godzilla or Grimlock or like several hundred other tokusatsu dinosaur monsters are based on. I love that in the Pokemon world, both stances actually exist in a single evolutionary line. (And, of course, in tokusatsu terms, because they need to fit a suit actor inside, most dinosaurs use the wrong orientation anyway) 

In addition to a colour scheme that fits Godzilla more, the evolutionary line's back dorsal fin have evolved into a shape not too dissimilar to Godzilla's iconic splayed-out spines. Oh, Baxcalibur also evolves at level 53, a reference to the very first Godzilla movie releasing in 1954. The general vibe of Baxcalibur is pretty simple and neat -- I really do like how the ice mask head ends up, as well as those arm-feather-claws sprouting a third blade. 

But, of course, as Baxcalibur's signature move Glaive Rush shows, "it launches itself into battle by flipping upside down and spewing frigid air from its mouth. It finishes opponents off with its dorsal blade." Such a bizarre, hilarious attack where you use your own ice breath as a propulsion device to impale the enemy with the ice blade on your back. Which, as commentator MegaZardX2 noted in my Violet playthrough, is a reference to how Godzilla flies in the older movies

Honestly, I do think that Baxcalibur is a rather subdued pseudo-legendary, but that's definitely not a complaint against it. An ice-dinosaur mosnter that lives quietly in the mountains, with the additional gimmick of adapting something ridiculous from the Godzilla franchise wholeheartedly? Pretty great, honestly. 

 5/6.

#999-1000: Gimmighoul & Gholdengo
  • Types: Ghost [Gimmighoul], Steel/Ghost [Gholdengo]
  • Japanese names: Korekure, Safugo
  • Categories: Coin Chest [Gimmighoul], Coin Entity [Gholdengo]
Now normally at the end of a regional dex (discounting DLC's and subsequent-released games) are just a bunch of legendaries, mythicals and maybe the pseudo-legendary. But Paldea's dex has something special, because, as mentioned above, we're reaching the big 1000. From the original 151, we have reached 1008 at the time of Scarlet and Violet's release. And the Pokemon that held the coveted spots of 999 and 1000? It's Gimmighoul, which is a weirdly appropriately-named Pokemon. It is a 'gimmick' creature!

For the entirety of the franchise's run, the role of a 'mimic' -- those chest creatures that look like treasure chests but are actually monsters, based on the iconic D&D enemy -- has been taken by the Voltorb line, and later the Foongus line and Galarian Stunfisk, owing to the fact that the 'treasure chest' equivalents in the Pokemon world take the form of Pokeballs. But this generation gave us a proper 'mimic' Pokemon that takes the form of an adorable treasure chest, and it's a delightful one! The obvious way would to make the chest the monster, as usual, or maybe the coins within are the monster... but Gimmighoul is actually a tiny, silvery coin-eyed and antennae'd little gremlin that hides within the treasure! It's implied that Gimmighoul does go around collecting these treasure coins, perhaps driven by a bit of a desire to 'be' whole?

Let's talk about the 'Roaming Form' Gimmighoul first, which is its inner silvery body. This Ghost-type Pokemon is currently only available if you do some interconnectivity thing with Pokemon Go, but you can find individual Roaming Gimmighouls everywhere in Paldea, and interacting with them will give you Gimmighoul Coins. More on those later. The dex entries note that Gimmighoul was 'born from passion that seeped into a coin', and it wanders around to seek to return to the treasure chest it once inhabited, lugging around a coin with it. Humans that try to pick up that coin ended up getting their life-forces drained, which is pretty typical with what I expect from a Ghost-type nowadays. 

Its Chest Form, almost exclusively found in ruins and abandoned towers, however, are fully battle-able Pokemon that you can catch, though it does suffer a bit from the 'Magikarp syndrome' of not being particularly useful. I do really like the design, though, with the little core body hiding within the chest, and the black metal strap that ties around the chest even resembles the Mimic's iconic tongue in many of its depictions. Notably, Chest Form Gimmighoul notes that 'the Pokemon was born inside a treasure chest 1500 years ago'... which, coincidentally, is only a couple hundred years after the ancient king of Paldea investigated the Great Crater of Paldea.

Anyway, Gimmighoul's neat, but that's not all it's about! See, ever since Pokemon: Legends Arceus, and honestly Pokemon Go, we've had this little gimmick of collecting species-specific loot after you beat or capture a representative of the species, which I think is a brilliant in-game mechanic that incentivizes players to not just ignore a Pokemon after capturing them. With Gimmighoul, meeting either one of its forms would give you Gimmighoul Coins... and you need a whopping 999 of them. And upon evolution...

Gimmighoul evolves into the Steel/Ghost Gholdengo, whose body is made up of 1000 coins. The final coin, presumably, is the one that the Roaming Form Gimmighoul holds on its own. And this is a Pokemon that completely bamboozled me when I first saw it, because it had nothing in common with what I thought Gimmighoul would evolve into. It's a weird-ass palm tree man!

...and then I walk around with Gholdengo behind me, and I understand what this thing is all about. Gholdengo's entire body is comprised with stacked coins, with the core Gimmighoul finally merging with a thousand other coins to become the treasure hoard. You even see Gimmighoul's original treasure chest and the band around it tied around Gholdengo as a belt! Gholdengo doesn't walk, he actually creates a surfboard out of his coins that he follows you around on, and there's some great animation work as the coins move from the rear of the surfboard to the front. 

Gholdengo is also note to be a guy that gets along with others, and... you can just see it from his face, yeah? He's a radical cowabunga kinda dude. In combat, Gholdengo is noted to overwhelm its enemies by rapid-firing coins at them, represented by its signature move, 'Make it Rain', which is basically a jacked-up version of classic ol' Pay Day. 

Admittedly, I can't say that I'm not a little bit disappointed that Gimmighoul's evolution isn't a larger mimic, but I appreciate just how absolutely radical this guy feels. The Pokemon company clearly loves Gimmighoul and Gholdengo, too, making them held the prized #1000 slot just because of the joke about a thousand coins being needed for their evolution, using Gimmighoul rather extensively in the promotional material, but also making them the crux of interconnectivity between Go and the Switch games.

 4/6 for me, but could be a 5/6 in a good day. 

#1001: Wo-Chien
  • Types: Dark/Grass
  • Japanese names: Chionjen 
  • Categories: Ruinous
And here we go with the most unexpected addition to a region based on the Iberian Peninsula... Chinese-themed legendary Pokemon! Mmm, okay? We don't even get the justification that it's a separate island as with what happens with Urshifu, which is a bit interesting. Does Nintendo just not want to do (or not allowed to do?) a China-based region? But the four Pokemon called the 'Treasures of Ruin' have a very great storyline that goes through Scarlet and Violet. One of the big weaknesses of the Generation V and VIII games is that all its non-cover legendaries just... show up. They do a reasonable story for the cover legendaries like Zekrom, Zacian and Calyrex, but how cool was it when you played through the other games and learn about how the three legendary beasts of Johto were created, or tried to translate the Braille to learn the creepiness of the Regis in Hoenn, or actually traveled to meet all the four Tapus? The Treasures of Ruin aren't part of the main plot, but you do learn about them from your history teacher, Raifort, who gives the context to the mysterious sealed doors and the ruinous stakes spread all over Paldea... which, if you notice, at least three of the four sealed ruins are around areas that look like they were 'blighted' somehow. 

See, the Treasures of Ruin were a set of four items -- wooden tablets, a sword, a vessel and a set of beads that were brought from eastern merchants to the ancient king of Paldea. However, the negative human emotions of the Paldean king caused the four treasures to awaken into Pokemon, and driving the four legendary Pokemon so berserk that they destroyed the kingdom, before they were sealed. That's such a surprisingly darker backstory compared to your average legendaries!

And we start off with my favourite of the four, Wo-Chien. Wo-Chien takes his name from 蜗 wō (snail) and 简 jiǎn (bamboo slips), and it's a bit hard to tell initially because they kept referring to Wo-Chien as the 'tablets' of ruin. But the titular tablets are actually a long, wooden scroll that now forms the conical structure of Wo-Chien's snail shell. You can see, can't you? That spiraling wooden material? That's the scroll (or, more appropriately, a book made up of bamboo strips) filled with the forbidden knowledge that the Ancient King was so excited about. There's even a Chinese phrase, "罄竹难书" qìng zhú nán shū, which means that someone's sins are so innumerable that all the bamboo in the world would not make enough books to record them. 

Wo-Chien is a snail, but its body isn't comprised of regular gastropod flesh. No, instead it's actually a mass of rotten leaves and detritus, and I absolutely love that Wo-Chien's angry eyes are made up of weird vines. Its attack animations also has it extend two extra vines from underneath its 'mustache'. Really love the creativity of having this force of decay take the form of a sentient mass of rotting leaves. Finally, Wo-Chien is thought to be also specifically based on the Decollate Snail, Rumina decollata, which is a predatory snail native to the Mediterranean region which is notorious for decimating gastropod and annelid populations wherever it is introduced.

Wo-Chien's dex entries note that the 'grudge of a person punished for writing the king's evil deeds upon wooden tablets' have formed this Dark/Grass Pokemon, while Raifort's story seems to imply that the tablets already had writing on them, and the knowledge within was what tempted the ancient king. I like this contradiction, because that's what a lot of archaeology is, right? Trying to guess what the motivations of people in the past are. Wo-Chien himself drains the life-force from vegetation, and causes nearby forests to wither and fields to turn barren... and while the area around where Wo-Chien is sealed is regular grassy terrain, there is a marshland slightly north of the Grasswither Shrine. Was Wo-Chien defeated there by the ancient Paldean knights before his sealing?

Anyway, one of the coolest (if unconventional) Pokemon out there. 

 6/6.

#1002: Chien-Pao
  • Types: Dark/Ice
  • Japanese names: Paojian 
  • Categories: Ruinous
Our second Treasure of Ruin is the 'Sword of Ruin', Chien-Pao. A pun on 宝剑 bǎojiàn (treasured sword) and 豹 bào (leopard), Chien-Pao is... well, a broken cursed sword who uses the snow around it to create a long leopard body. This is going to be a running theme with all four Treasures of Ruin, where you can see that it's the titular 'treasure' that has taken some natural material to create its body. 

I find the swords to look rather awkward, but I do think that it's meant to look weird, with one of Chien-Pao's sabre-toothed cat fangs being made up of the hild and the other by the tip of the blade. Both ends are tipped with pointy icicles, though, so Chien-Pao doesn't have a pommel for one of his fangs. Chien-Pao is described as 'the hatred of those who perished by the sword long ago has clad itself in snow and became a Pokemon', which sounds like something you'd use to describe a Dark Souls or World of Warcraft boss instead of a legendary Pokemon!

...and then its other dex entry describes how after using 100 tons of fallen snow to create avalanches, Chien-Pao will "play around innocently by leaping in and out of them". Cats are gonna cat, I guess? I actually do like that Chien-Pao isn't proportioned like most cats, looking more like a weasel than anything at first glance, because that snow isn't really an organic body and just a bunch of snow that the sword is using to create its physical form. Not the biggest fan of the weird ice crystals all over its body, but I guess that's how you get the 'leopard' part of it?

Not a big fan of him visually, to be honest, though I respect what they were going for here. At this point in time, I guess I'll just talk about some of the common themes of the four Treasures of Ruin. All four learn the move 'Ruination', a Dark-type move that halves the health of the opponent. And all four have a variation of the same ability -- Chien-Pao's "Sword of Ruin" lowers the Defense stat of all Pokemon other than itself. Its three siblings do the same for other stats -- Wo-Chien lowers Attack, Ting-Lu lowers Special Attack and Chi-Yu lowers Special Defense. 

 2/6.

#1003: Ting-Lu
  • Types: Dark/Ground
  • Japanese names: Dinru
  • Categories: Ruinous
Our third member of the Four Treasures of Ruin is Ting-Lu, 鼎 dǐng (a type of ancient Chinese cauldron) and 鹿 lù (deer). Note that for all the English names of the Treasures of Ruin, they use the Wade-Giles romanization system that's used by the Anglosphere, whereas most Chinese people tend to use pinyun now. Anyway, Ting-Lu's design with the giant cracked jade ding vessel is what initially got everyone -- myself included -- thinking that the Treasures of Ruin are based on the Four Perils, a set of four malevolent beings in Chinese mythology and the opposite number to the Four Benevolent Beasts (which would be more familiar to anyone who watches anime, and are in fact the basis of the Therian forms of the Forces of Nature). The design of the ding cauldrons are often associated with the Taotie -- perhaps familiar to the Western world as the antagonists in the terrible 2016 movie Great Wall (who can't even pronounce the creature's name properly!). However, while the Chien-Pao might be considered analogous with the Qiongqi, one of the more well-known member is the Hundun -- a creature recently featured in Marvel's Shang-Chi movie I am pretty sure that if the Treasures were indeed based on the Four Perils, the Hundun would be one of the designs used to make a monster. 

Instead, Ting-Lu is just a ding vessel... cracked down the middle. The pokedex identifies the negative emotion that awakens Ting-Lu as 'fear', which has caused this ancient ritual vessel to clad itself in rocks and dirt. Again, Raifort does bring up alternate theories, particularly what the 'eyes of the deity' that Ting-Lu's vessel is meant to represent. Similar arguments also come with the Taotie murals done on ding vessels, though I would also like to note that while the Taotie are usually associated with gluttony, no such association is made with Ting-Lu. 

And I do like the shape of Ting-Lu. We've see this "soil creature made up of sedimentation layers" with Crustle and Garganacl, but Ting-Lu is an interesting usage of it. The end result does look very stiff and if we're being honest not the most nicest-looking ungulate... but I guess that's intentional. Ting-Lu doesn't look like a proper deer because he's not a proper deer, he's a vessel that reanimates a bunch of soil to behave like a deer's body. 

I do like that the ding being cracked down the middle does kind of represent two horns of a deer. The ding is used in real life for many purposes, including more mundane usages like cooking and storage, but they're also used as a symbol of imperial authority over the land... which I guess might be the reason why the Ting-Lu is associated with the Ground type? 

 3/6.

#1004: Chi-Yu
  • Types: Dark/Fire
  • Japanese names: Iyui
  • Categories: Ruinous
So we've had a snail monster created out of decaying detritus, a savage saber-toothed leopard made out of an avalanche, and an earthquake-deer made out of the land itself. And our final member of the Treasures of Ruin is... a baby goldfish! Ha! I also had the fortune to meet Chi-Yu last out of the four, and while at the point that I was doing the end-game I was somewhat spoiled about the existence of a legendary fire goldfish, nothing could prepare me to the sheer adorableness and ridiculousness of Chi-Yu. His name is a pun on 鲫魚 jìyú (goldfish) and 玉 yù (jade), and the "Beads of Ruin" are actually based on a specific Japanese beat -- the magatama, a type of jewelry that has ceremonial and religious functions.

Don't see it? The jade magatama are the 'eyelids' of Chi-Yu, surrounding its eyes. Actually a pretty interesting way to do it, because it did take me a while to realize what's going on here. Chi-Yu's main body is basically a fireball in the shape of a goldfish, and I absolutely love just how the colours blend into each other. It's just a very pleasant gradation from the light orange to the deep dark red at the end of Chi-Yu's fins. 

I also think that Chi-Yu is specifically based on certain breeds of goldfishes like the telescope, the bubble-eye or the celestial-eye, which are goldfishes with even larger eyes than usual. 

Chi-Yu's interestingly described as controlling flames burning at 5,400 F, and the reason it's a fish is because it just passively melts rock and sand and can swim through it. Very cool, normally these fire or magma creatures just swim through lava! The idea that this creature chose a fish-like hydrodynamic form to swim through the substances it melts is fun! The specific emotion associated with the beads is 'envy', and apparently the beads that became Chi-Yu would eventually spark so much envy that it comes to life. Raifort, our teacher, speculates on the exact function of these beads, since it would've made more sense that it came in a set of two or three, not four. 

...and, all the while, Chi-Yu just looks like an adorable tiny goldfish. I love this thing. I love that this thing has basically equal stats to the leaf snail of decay or the cursed bowl earthquake deer. Chi-Yu is hardly our first 'cute' legendary Pokemon, but I think it's the first one that's part of a set of badasses that follow a theme, and I love it the more for it. 

 6/6.

#1005: Roaring Moon
  • Types: Dragon/Dark
  • Japanese names: Todorokutsuki
  • Categories: Paradox
So we have the last two Paradox Pokemon in the base game, and the thing that really makes Roaring Moon and Iron Valiant a bit more 'special' is that they are located in a specific, rather out-of-the-way hidden cave in Area Zero. It's not even a 'based on a pseudo-legendary' thing either, but I guess it's just because the design team really liked Salamence and Gallade/Gardevoir.

Roaring Moon is interestingly not just a Paradox version of Salamence, but rather of Mega Salamence. Both the Occulture book and the Violet dex entry note that Roaring Moon has 'some connection to a phenomenon that occurs in another region', which refers to Mega Evolution in all but name. And the design does really look like a more 'primal', more 'animalistic' version of Mega Salamence, particularly the crescent moon shape of the wings... except Roaring Moon has feathers on the edges of his wings, making it look far more organic than the airplane look of the original Mega Salamence. 

It's not just Mega Salamence that fit into the design, though. I find that Roaring Moon to be like a distilled, primal version of all four phases of the Bagon line... particularly the fact that it actually has Bagon's shell head on top of a Salamence-based head. Lots more red, too, particularly in the underbelly and around the eyes. A couple splashes of yellow in the base of the wings and the underbelly make it a fair bit more neater. Most striking other than the wings and the giant black-coloured 'cape' from Roaring Moon's back is the fact that he's got giant, monstrous forelimbs. Presumably this is for Roaring Moon to actually catch prey, since I don't think Mega Salamence would be able to do that. Heck, in fact Mega Salamence would tuck in its forelimbs and make them almost invisible to sight. 

Interestingly, Roaring Moon is Dragon/Dark, eliminating the Flying-type entirely that was the whole point of Bagon's "story" as it evolves into a stronger and stronger flying dragon. In contrast to Mega Salamence being all about the Flying-type, I suppose Roaring Moon emphasizes the Dragon type? It does look far more like a primal draconic beast compared to the airplane-based Mega Salamence. It does lead me to wonder just how the Ground-type moves hurt it, though, since it's clearly flying... but if it's not a 'true' Flying type, I guess that's the genesis of Roaring Moon eventually losing a lot of its features to become the Bagon/Shelgon/Salamence evolutionary line. Actually, might the Mega Evolution be awakening Roaring Moon's dormant DNA within the Bagon line, then? Interesting questions that I am sure we'll never get answers to! 

 5/6. Didn't like it all that much initially, grew into it. 

#1006: Iron Valiant
  • Types: Fairy/Fighting
  • Japanese names: Tetsunobujin
  • Categories: Paradox
And our final non-legendary Paradox Pokemon in the base game is Iron Valiant, which is a combination of Gardevoir and Gallade, the two final forms of the Ralts line. The Occulture and the dexes, as usual, give a weird sci-fi reason to Iron Valiant's existence... the product of a mad scientist's efforts to create the most powerful psychic Pokemon of all. Which is ironic, since out of the two Pokemon it's supposed to emulate (the Psychic/Fairy Gardevoir and the Psychic/Fighting Gallade), Iron Valiant ends up with the two 'spare' typings, becoming Fairy/Fighting. I like that bit -- that this robot ends up not reaching the ambitions of its creator, but is still formidable nonetheless. 

Iron Valiant is probably the least 'normal' looking of the robotic Future Paradoxes, but that's probably because it's kinda humanoid! It basically combines a bunch of features from its base forms. It's got a head mostly based on Gardevoir, the glowing pink horn has become a glowing Iron Man style heart, it's got Mega Gardevoir's segmented skirt (the green inner-sides look much better than Mega Gardevoir), it's got Gallade's weird donut-shaped waist and pillar legs... which, by the way, looks much better on a robot than on a supposedly-organic being like Gallade. I've never liked Gallade thanks to the waist and legs, but Iron Valiant here manages to make everything work. 

The coolest feature, of course, is the dual-ended blade that Iron Valiant has, which just looks so badass. I mean, it's probably impractical in real life, but Iron Valiant is a fairy robot with martial art skills. Even cooler, though, that weapon actually deploys from Valiant's forearms. Normally, they are just wing-like extensions on either side of its wrists, and you can actually see the recesses that the two blades slot into. Very cool!

And... honestly, I don't have much insightful things to say. There's really not a whole on of lore about the Paradox Pokemon, and these guys are clearly selected for being based on super-cool, popular Pokemon. And... well, these guys do appeal to the eight-year-old within me, so good job on that, I guess!

 5/6.

#1007: Koraidon
  • Types: Fighting/Dragon
  • Japanese names: Koraidon
  • Categories: Paradox
And we end off the original Paldean Pokedex (yes, I know, I know, DLC Pokemon...) with the two box legendaries, Koraidon and Miraidon. A lot of what I say about one will apply to the other, since they cover the same role as being your all-purpose traveling companion (you "raidon", or "ride on" them, get it?), and they're both bike-lizard-dragons that have multiple modes. It's just that Koraidon is styled as an Ancient Paradox version of Cyclizar (korai = past in Japanese) and Miraidon is a Future Paradox version of Cyclizar (mirai = future). 

And... I know it's been a while since we discussed Cyclizar, who itself is kind of not really given too much focus on other than being in the background of so many city scenes... but Koraidon is basically a Fighting/Dragon 'ancient' version of it. And in this case, 'ancient' basically means a whole ton of feathers. Dinosaurs have feathers, I guess! It really does speak to just how well the variety in this generation is, because I have seen so many people like Miraidon and hate Koraidon and vice versa. I will say that I'm completely in the Miraidon camp, solely for the fact that I really do feel like Koraidon has one too many colours, and I just can't get over that tire lodged in his neck. 

Now my opinion of the "Winged King" Koraidon has lessened a lot after seeing him in-game. The neck-wheel is actually recessed most of the time, and when it does get inflated it doesn't actually rotate like I assumed it would -- it's just a neck sack that coincidentally resembles a bicycle's front wheel, similar to Cyclizar. It's just that the appearance bothers me a bit, and that's enough to kinda make me not like him as much. 

Now, the Koraidon we get to see in battle as well as on the cover of the game is "Apex Build" Koraidon, when it has unleashed its full force after being powered up with the power of friendship (or your mom's sandwich) but as mentioned before, Koraidon serves as your transportation 'vehicle' throughout the game of Pokemon Scarlet, and as such, for the most part of the game, this is what Koraidon looks like:

And I like Limited Build Koraidon much, much more than Apex Build Koraidon, which just feels messy with everything that's going on. The fact that his neck-pouch and all the colourful feathers are recessed and flush against Koraidon's body makes it a lot easier to see him as a much more cohesive dinosaur design -- the two long hair-horns and the shoulder armour pieces are just enough detailing to make him look impressive enough. Though I suppose part of the Apex Build is the equivalent of the fan-throated lizard or the frill-necked lizard spreading everything to intimidate their enemies. 

Nintendo also identifies a 'Sprinting Build', but that's just basically Koraidon running. It does inflate both its neck-sack and its tail into structures resembling a bicycle's wheels, something that Cyclizar also does... At first I'm not sure what the function of this, in-universe, is for, other than to go 'look, a bike', but someone pointed out that they might be holding extra air so Koraidon can sprint indefinitely. That's cool! 

Koraidon is also a lot more creative when you see him in his other terrain-exploration modes, like 'Swimming Build' here, where the wheels/neck pouches are explicitly turned into flotation devices while Koraidon dog-paddles you around. 

And then there is 'Gliding Build', where his horn-antennae-thing explode out into a gigantic winged glider. Out of all of Koraidon's forms, this one raises some questions for me... but yeah, sure, why not? 

Koraidon is Fighting/Dragon, and, again, I guess that's just because ancient cultures are a bit more 'savage', and the feathers on Koraidon's body can represent generic tribal feather decorations as much as they do dinosaurs. Koraidon's signature Ability is Orichalcum Pulse, which basically activates sunlight and the effects of the other Ancient Paradoxes' Protosynthesis without having to first hold an item. Koraidon's signature move, Collision Course, transforms him into a giant wheel and slams onto the ground to create a 'prehistoric explosion'. Okay!

And... my opinion about Koraidon has improved a lot, dramatically, since I first saw his promotional images. And I really do appreciate all the hard work that they did making the trio of Cyclizar, Miraidon and Koraidon. It's just that despite everything, I still don't really like Koraidon all that much? This isn't a knock towards Koraidon's fans, for sure, but there's also the fact that, well...

 3/6.

#1008: Miraidon
  • Types: Electric/Dragon
  • Japanese names: Miraidon
  • Categories: Paradox
...Miraidon exists. And everything that Koraidon does, all the transformation and wheel stuff and gliding stuff and swimming stuff... Miraidon can also do, except with Miraidon it feels so much more "natural" because it isn't a natural animal. The "Iron Serpent" Miraidon is Electric/Dragon, yes, but he's also clearly a robot, and I really do feel like the 'bike dinosaur' aesthetic works so much better when an inherently robotic design has a wheel lodged in its throat. And even on Miraidon's Ultimate Mode here, the wheel looks a bit more intergrated with the rest of his neck, doesn't it?

I also like Miraidon's colours a lot better. Sure, dark blue, neon light blue, silver and yellow aer probably some of the easiest colours you could slap onto a futuristic robot... but I don't know. i just feel like Miraidon's overall design is much more cohesive. It could also be that instead of Koraidon's gigantic display of plumage, the thunderbolt-horns on Miraidon do basically the same effect but in a subdued manner?

I also find it interesting that Miraidon's hind-legs basically tuck in and turn into propulsion engines that presumably keep Miraidon afloat. Mind you, I wasn't super-sold on Miraidon when I first saw the promotional artworks for the two legendaries either, but I definitely found this robot dragon a whole lot more interesting and pleasant to look than its counterpart. Sorry, Koraidon. Hell, I would even say that Miraidon's a much more pleasant-looking 'robot animal monster' than some of the other futuristic Paradoxes!

Low-Power Mode Miraidon is even more pleasant-looking than Koraidon, with all the neon lights switched off and those lightning-horns turning into a neat set of robotic spikes. I find that they did a surprisingly good job and got a fair bit of mileage animating Miraidon's eyes through a mass of LED lights, which I didn't think would work anywhere as well as it did. 

Drive Mode Miraidon is far cooler than Koraidon just running around with its wheels inflated, though, because Miraidon's legs tuck in and its neck-pouch and tail transform into Tron bike wheels. And... again, I am very pleased that thankfully Koraidon doesn't do a whole 'organic buzzsaw wheel' thing and just runs around, but... well, this is what a bike lizard should look like, yeah? Even Miraidon's head looks like the front end of a motorbike. I realize that it's a bit of an aspect of the past/future dichotomy. 

Of course the future Pokemon would be able to resemble a motorbike, the result of technology, better than the past Pokemon. It's hardly fair, but them's the breaks. Miraidon just ends up being more cohesive because his theme and his visual designs are more cohesive inherently, just like the future professor works better with the 'A.I. Clone' plotline than the past professor. 

Miraidon's swimming mode, Aquatic Mode, is his regular Drive Mode in the water, but with the afterburners acting as propellers. Glide Mode really surprised me when I first saw it, though, with Miraidon making two gigantic purple-yellow glider wings from the sides of his head... and in this case, yeah, I get that it's a 'robot' thing to do, but this is the one mode that I feel Miraidon loses over its past brother. 

Miraidon basically has a similar signature ability with Koraidon, Hadron Engine, which activates Electric Terrain and gains the boost from it similar to the other futuristic Paradoxes. Meanwhile, its signature move, Electro Drift, turns it into a lightning wheel that slams into the enemy.

Both Koraidon and Miraidon are interesting, too, on how they are showcased to us -- I talk about them a lot in my let's play, but I do really find it an interesting solution to making the cover legendaries show up a lot as an actual character and companion for the majority of the journey, but also limit their game-breaking acquisition until the endgame. If nothing else, it really made me warm up to their designs and get attached to these giant buddies a lot more. 

Anyway, Miraidon is sure a pretty cool sandwich-eating transforming robot, and even the idea of Miraidon having functions 'locked' fits a robot more! I really didn't care all that much for either Koraidon or Miraidon the first time I saw them, but travelling with them throughout Paldea and experiencing their different forms definitely have caused me to appreciate them a lot more than I would've had. 

 5/6.
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And, with that... we've covered all the Paldean Pokemon that were released in the original release of Generation IX! I know at the time of writing Walking Wake and Iron Leaves are out, but without anything to go off of other than their designs and typings, I'll wait and hold them off until the rest of the Scarlet/Violet DLC comes out. I do have some Pokemon material that I do plan to pump out over the next couple of months, which I've been doing in the background since last year but ended up putting on the backburner thanks to the release of Generation IX!

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