One Piece 1171 Review: Back to the Present

One Piece, Chapter 1171: Ragnir

A bit of a delay on my part due to some IRL issues, but we got a break week anyway so that turned out all well and good. We finally return to the present day storyline, with the flashback story being wrapped up in this chapter.

With Harald dead from the events of last chapter, we get a denouement as the chapter pans across the destruction and death throughout the castle, and Gaban notes just how hopeless the fight would've been if Loki and the 'treasure of Elbaph' wasn't there. Shanks gets to thinking about Harald's optimism, and gets a bit frustrated. Gaban stops Shanks from... hurting himself or whatever he was going to do, and tells him to quit his bad habit: 'don't you dare regret your birth'. Gaban tells Shanks to keep a level head, while Shanks is quite rightfully outraged about Harald's death and what he could have done to prevent it. 

We get a great half-page spread of Loki crouching over Harald's body, with the flames obscuring Harald's upper half, which I thought was a really strong panel. Loki is quite upset at his father's death, muttering about how it's "a joke" that this is what he gets for loving his country. Loki then tells Jarul,  Gaban and Shanks that he's going to take all of the surviving soldiers (so there are survivors) and that he is going out to sea. As everyone reading the Harald/Loki fight surmised, despite Harald's wishes, practicality reigns here and no one would believe that Loki would be the one to succeed Harald's wishes. Loki swears the room to silence as he goes off to sea, intending to avenge his dad. 

While this is going on, we get a last cutaway to Imu's mansion in Marie Geoise. Imu is shocked that an ancient giant of Harald's strength, empowered by the Abyss, was killed in Elbaph. Imu then prevents the Gorosei from sending more God's Knights to Elbaph to investigate, which explains why they've only investigated in the present day due to... whatever is going on in Mary Geoise thanks to the Revolutionaries. Interestingly, Imu notes that performing the covenants exerts a toll upon Imu, an interesting caveat to the otherwise game-breaking powers. 

Imu then gives a recap of basically what Loki has described, noting that Harald's views, as an eccentric and heretic, would lead to destabilization if he actually joined the World Government. And it was such a shame that Harald was lost, since he was such a unique pawn... but Imu doesn't seem to be too surprised by it, finishing his little speech that "Elbaph is of the D." and that they are incompatible in the first place anyway. 

And this is where we cut back to the present day. 

Loki was yelling at Hajrudin, asking what he should've done, whether he should've undid everything that Harald has done just to 'tell the truth'. It is a typical bit of getting everyone on the same page, and it was something that was going to be done either way, but I really love Hajrudin and Luffy's expressions as Loki and Gaban are talking about them. 

Hajrudin unlocks Loki's chains, and the two brothers have a little warrior's reconciliation, even if Loki isn't exactly smiling at it. It's a nice little moment in the midst of conflict. The rest of the chapter has one of the Mumas, the Draugr, fall down from the upper realm and start rampaging. Loki yells at everyone to go up -- and everyone does, basically, including the wounded Gaban. Luffy stays behind to see how Loki fights, and he lifts out the squeaking Ragnir... and bashes the Draugr with an attack called 'Nifflheim', freezing the giant solid. Okay! So presumably Loki/Ragnir is going to have an attack for each of the seven realms of Norse mythology!

Random Notes:

• This whole discussion about Shanks regretting his birth and that being his bad habit is quite interesting because that line of character thinking is something I associate with a different mentor figure to Luffy, which is Ace. Now Ace and Shanks's parentage, as far as the audience is concerned, is wildly different. Ace was born from Roger, while Shanks was born of the Celestial Dragons. It is quite different, and it is something that I do hope the story will draw parallels between. 
• I absolutely agree with Loki and co's decision, because no one is going to trust Loki and he's not the right temperament to be a king anyway. I don't agree with their decision not to inform Hajrudin at all. 
• Loki notes that he can 'fly up', which... may be a hint about his devil fruit powers? 
• The pre-flashback stuff has Gaban note that he's going to stay down in the lower realms with Chopper looking after him, but I guess the choreography got changed around a bit with how we had a oddly extended sequence of Gaban requesting Chopper and Sanji bringing him up with the rest of the fighters. 
• It would appear that the thunderbolt was probably one of Ragnir's powers, presumably 'Asgard' or 'Vanaheim' or one of the upper realms. 

Reviewing Monsters: Elden Ring, Part 24

And so, like all great journeys, my run through the base game of Elden Ring ends. 

What a game, huh? This is my first 'Soulsborne' game from FromSoftware, with all its infamous 'get good' mentality and unforgiving ways to go through a game. No quicksaves, no easy mode, not even a pause button. Experience is lost. Going back to a boss fight involves walking back. And you know what? That does give a great sense of accomplishment. 

The world-building is amazing, even if I will agree that the way quests and storylines are given out in this immense open-world game is... not the best. Perhaps it's a bit of a holdover from when the game was developed as a more linear Dark Souls like experience... but I enjoyed myself, even if I did admittedly need to open up a guide particularly in the middle portions of the game. 

There were parts of this that I didn't enjoy so much... Farum Azula felt like it was there for coolness' sake; there was a lack of buildup on some of the major characters; and I also felt like the 'PvP invasion' stuff raises questions more than making it feel like something 'in-universe'. But despite that... I really enjoyed my time through it. It took me almost two years to complete the game -- admittedly with several hiatuses -- but I did it. And I'll jump straight into Shadows of the Erdtree after this. 

So this page covers the two final 'dungeon' parts of the game. The main 'dungeon' is what people have noted to be a bit of a 'bonus dungeon', Miquella's Haligtree, with one of the two infamous hardest bosses in the game -- Melania, Blade of Miquella. And the other is just the endgame... Leyndell, Ashen Capital, is what the Leyndell dungeon was transformed into after the events of the Farum Azula stuff, and I'm waltzing in to claim my title as Elden Lord and beat up anyone who's in my way. 

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Giant Oracle Envoy

As I first explore the Haligtree, the branches are filled with Oracle Envoys. We've seen the regular and slightly-larger ones in Leyndell, but they are a lot deadlier in a location where you have to jump from branch to branch, and they shoot homing bubbles that do way more damage than you'd expect a bubble to do. In addition to the regular Oracle Envoys and the Large Oracle Envoys, the Haligtree features the giant Oracle Envoys. 

I like that whatever the Oracle Envoys are, their faces are always the same size, so despite this particular Envoy's body, arms and wrapped-up head expanding to dwarf its smaller counterparts, the head stays the same. Oh, and whereas the other envoys have smaller trumpets, the Giant Oracle Envoy holds a five-pronged one that launches a whole swarm of exploding music bubbles at you. 

We still don't really know what they are beyond the fact that they 'appear' to 'herald the coming of a new god, or age. Finding one of their headwears as equipment gives us the cryptic description of 'no one knows what the cloth hides, but some claim to have heard a faint whimpering from inside. It must have been their imagination.' They also drop the item 'strip of white flesh', an item normally dropped by aquatic beasts like octopi, crabs, crayfish and slugs... which raises even more questions! 

Haligtree Knights

Our final Soldier/Knight combo are the Haligtree Knights, who are knights sword to the Empyrean twins Miquella and Malenia. They're really just kind of there to exhaust you at this point. It is cool that the knight variants can enchant their weapon with holy damage, but that's not really something that's particularly useful against you, the player. Some of the weaker soldiers will rush you and explode, which... sure, not very 'Golden Order' of them, I'm sure. 

Rather, far more impressive are the knights of Malenia -- the Cleanrot Knights, previously met as minibosses, who wander around the Brace of the Haligtree area.

Fungal Corpse

Tragically, while the Haligtree was initially a haven for worshippers of Miquella and Malenia -- and beings like the Misbegotten who found a haven there -- Malenia's status as the goddess of rot hasn't been kind to those around her. Malenia, lest we forget, was the demigod who caused Caelid to happen when she lost control of the Scarlet Rot within her. One of the main motivations for Miquella to set up his own Haligtree is to find a way to cure his sister, but with Miquella being abducted and killed by Mohg, nothing is stopping Malenia's rot powers from spreading wide. Giant fungi and lichen have been growing all around the Haligtree, and some of the people there have been overgrown with mushrooms in a way that looks a lot more uncomfortable than the Servants of Rot we've seen. Honestly, I'm not even sure if they are still alive or not, or if the mushrooms are just animating the corpses. Of course, contact with them causes the Scarlet Rot condition. 

Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree

The miniboss here is a lady knight on a horse shooting spells at you. We've met a specter/echo of Loretta before in the Carian Manor, and apparently Loretta left the Carians to serve Miquella, with the item descriptions noting that she's a champion for Albinauric rights and she wanted to help them find a haven. Such a noble cause ends up causing all the courtly nobles to gossip that maybe Loretta herself is an Albinauric herself, otherwise why would she help the non-humans? Except...  it doesn't seem to be too far-fetched a leap, since we've only seen Loretta on her horse, and all of her signature spells involves creating giant bows and arrows out of magic, essentially a stronger version of the Albinauric Wolf-Riders' archery. That's a neat little story detail that elevates Loretta from being essentially a reskinned Tree Sentinel with some extra moves. 

I spent way too much time fighting Loretta because I was insistent on killing her with the spell Loretta's Bow. 

Putrid Avatar / Putrid Tree Spirit

At this point in the game, these guys have graduated (or degraded, I suppose) from being 'oh shit oh shit oh shit' to just an enemy with a huge health bar that you just have to be careful at dodging. The Erdtree Avatars show up at basically all Minor Erdtreees, and also in places like Leyndell, Royal Capital. Ulcerated Tree Spirits tend to show up in catacombs that thematically have roots of the Erdtree... and also Leyndell. Makes sense that the two tree-themed enemies show up where the big holy divine tree are at, yes?

Except in several locations, they are infested with Scarlet Rot. Which are also true for the specimens we met in Caelid, but I don't think I've reviewed them before. And with the Haligtree dungeon taking place in an attempt to copy the Erdtree, having these tree-themed enemies show up makes sense... except the presence of Malenia has inadvertently befouled the roots of the Erdtree, causing pools of rot to appear everywhere and for the manifestations of these beings that appear in both the Haligtree and the Mountaintops to also be rotting.

Again, they're functionally the same boss with their regular versions, just with a noxious rot breath attack instead of the holy beams associated with the Golden Order plants. But it's a neat bit of visual storytelling -- if you're going to reuse enemy models, reusing them in ways that fit to the lore is very much acceptable to me. 

Lesser Kindred of Rot

We've seen the 'centipede-prawn-men' Kindred of Rot in any place where the Scarlet Rot has infested, namely Caelid and the giant underground temple in the Lake of Rot. Malenia's unchecked disease in the Haligtree, however, has created rivers of rot, corrupted the local plants, and also either spawned or drawn in a bunch of Kindred of Rot. Nothing new there... except that there's a smaller, weaker version of the Kindred of Rot that appear here, scaled to be around half as strong as the regular Kindred. 

The model is actually more or less the same, with several clear differences -- the long human legs that the regular Kindred of Rot has are absent, forcing them to swim or crawl around. This does make them look a lot like 'prawns', which is a comparison that I didn't really see in the main or 'adult' Kindred of Rot. I also like that they have a lot of creepy little limbs running down their abdomen that are still made up of human hands. 

It is interesting, too, to bring up the lore behind these guys. We now know that the Kindred of Rot worship the Scarlet Rot -- this entity of pure rot, disease and unchecked growth that seems to be the manifestation of some 'Outer God', an incomprehensible force who manifests in the form of the Scarlet Rot. Whatever the nature of this being is, it's currently 'incarnated' or 'sealed' within Malenia as a curse. Malenia herself doesn't want anything to do with the Scarlet Rot and, in fact, has been trying to purge it from her body. The Kindred, however, go around trying to worship her because she's the goddess of rot! One Kindred called Sage Gowry even impersonates a human and adopts an 'offshoot' of Malenia (implied but not confirmed to be a daughter/sister/clone created when Malenia unleashed the giant spell that created Caelid) called Millicent and is trying to groom her to become their new Scarlet Rot goddess. It is an interesting little story, I feel, that makes these 'Pests' a lot cooler than just being weird bug people. 

Millicent's Sisters

In our journey through Caelid, we find a mysterious girl that resembles the Goddess of Rot, Malenia, called Millicent. Talking to the aforementioned Sage Gowry, who adopted Millicent, we can get the idea that the Kindred of Rot are trying to get Millicent to 'bloom' into a new flower, a new avatar of the Scarlet Rot for them to worship. Millicent, interestingly, is the only one out of five sisters -- 'offshoots' of Malenia born during the creation of Caelid -- either clones or fragments that split off the main Malenia. It is a bit ambiguous other than her birth and creation has something to do with Malenia. We befriend Millicent in our journey, even stymying the Scarlet Rot ravaging her body by Gowry's instructions. Helping a sick lady stop her disease, it's something good, right? 

Except Millicent realizes that Gowry and her own sisters are trying to make her into the new 'Malenia'. And she removes the magical gold needle preventing the disease from ravaging her body so she can choose her own death instead of being forced to transform into something else. During this, we fight 4-on-2 against Millicent's sisters: Mary, Maureen, Amy and Pollyanna. It's interesting why these four are allied to the Kindred of Rot (even using the Pest Threads spells only available to Kindred of Rot) while Millicent is more independent. 

Malenia, Blade of Miquella

"I am Malenia. Blade of Miquella. And I have never known defeat."

And here she is. The woman, the myth, the legend. Malenia, Blade of Miquella. Empyrean, bearer of the Scarlet Rot, the woman who has never known defeat. In video game terms, she is one of the two 'superbosses' -- bosses you can fight before the final end of the story, but is so much more difficult and powerful than them. The entire Haligtree area is completely optional, even moreso than anything else in the game, and in fact does require a fair bit of work to even access. Nothing in the game (other than Millicent, who's a bit more obscure anyway) narratively points you towards the Haligtree and the slumbering goddess beneath it, since even if you're interested in the Miquella stuff, he's not even there in the Haligtree -- and primarily saved for the DLC anyway. 

And then she wakes up... and fights you. I think the previous couple of entries did talk quite a bit about her. She's a badass who fought the other strongest demigod, Radahn, to a draw. She's the undefeated woman, and she looks like a tall valkyrie with that winged helmet. Her right arm, since rotted away, is a prosthetic golden arm and she fights with a gigantic katana (which actually locks onto the golden arm) that she swings around like a toothpick. 

And she is deadly fast. She doesn't do anything special in this phase, but she is fast, she can dodge everything you throw at her, her range is insane and once she starts doing her 'Waterfowl Dance' combos, she's unleashing an insane anime blender-slash of doom with that katana. In a game that actually does a pretty great job at making all the demigods have impressive monster forms, Malenia is the epitome of a speedy, deadly warrior in the way that the other two 'just a tall person' demigods that embody a certain aspect of what a warrior should be -- Radahn and Rennala representing a strong warrior and a mage respectively.  

"The scarlet bloom flowers once more. You will witness true horror. Now, rot!"

Once you reduce Malenia down to zero health, she flops face-first onto the water in an almost undignified way... before she asks you to 'wait'. And then she blooms, a fiery flower called the Scarlet Aeonia, the signature spell that Malenia does in the trailers leading up to the Elden Ring story (a cutscene I wished was in the game itself) and we see the calcified remnants of in the center of Caelid. 

And we get to see Malenia's second form. Her clothes have rotted away to reveal what lies beneath... a beautiful female body, but ravaged by rot. We see some of her limbs have rotted away to be replaced by golden prosthetics. And probably the coolest feature in her Goddess of Rot form is her massive almost-angelic wings. Unlike the wings of someone like, say, Mohg, Malenia's wings are made up of a literal horde of butterflies. Butterflies have shown up a lot in the game in areas associated with the Scarlet Rot, and these butterflies are particularly prominent as they flutter off of Malenia's body during her transformation. Her long red locks also meld into the butterfly-clumps as well.

The result is an interesting look, for sure. It's not my 'kind' of an enemy, but it does fit what we know of Malenia and how much she herself despises the Scarlet Rot incubating within her and how she rejects it so much. Our fight against her pushes her to the brink that she finally ceases holding back and embraces the power within her. Or alternatively, no longer has the willpower to control it. She still has everything that she can do in her first phase, except she's faster, and she unleashes these massive scarlet blooms that afflicts you with the Scarlet Rot condition. 

Very cool boss fight, very cool character, and probably my favourite boss on this page. I feel like she's a lot cooler to fight and a lot more... fair, I guess? Her attacks are deadly but there's a nice split-second for you to roll away or react to it, which isn't something I felt from a boss like Rykard (who's still the one that gives me perhaps the most trouble in this game) or Placidusax. 

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Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing

As we continue our journey, more and more of our fellow Tarnished allies in the Roundtable Hold either die, or leave... and up until this part of the endgame, Sir Gideon Ofnir the All-Knowing (or more accurately, "Sir Gideon Ofnir... the ALLLL KNOOOOWING!") is the de facto leader of the Roundtable Hold, sitting in his library and researching and looking for information about the demigods and informing us about who they are and giving us hints about them. 

Gideon, however, has been shown to be very much not a nice person, the type who would achieve victory by any means necessary. One of the most horrific things we see on-screen is sending out Omenkillers to annihilate the entire Village of the Albinaurics, and it's also implied that he's the one that sent the silent Ensha to try and get a plot device from us. So to have him barring our way to the Elden Throne? It's really not a surprise that he betrays us, it's honestly a matter of when and how. He does seem to have somehow fallen into despair just prior to the fight, though, with his dialogue being more despondent than gloating... apparently having found out some truth that broke him. 

Gideon is delightfully easy to beat up, even compared to other 'minibosses' I would've faced recently like the Godskin Duo or Loretta. Which makes sense in-universe... there is a reason he needed people to do all his dirty work. There is a cute little gimmick where he uses spells of some of the demigods -- namely Mohg, Melania and Rykard, all optional bosses -- against me. But only if I've beaten them! The implication is that he's been studying and collecting data while stalking us. That's cute, even if Gideon himself isn't too impressive of a boss fight. 

Godfrey, First Elden Lord / Hoarah Loux, Warrior

"Tarnished Warrior. Spurned by the grace of gold. Be assured, the Elden Ring resteth close at hand... alas, I am returned."

Yeah, a lot of the endgame bosses are admittedly just dudes. Godfrey's cool, though. I find him a bit less cool than Malenia up above, but that's more of a praise to Malenia than any real dislike of Godfrey. The first Elden Lord Godfrey is this big burly viking dude wielding a shattered axe. That alone would have been boring, especially since I don't actually find Godfrey particularly interesting as a character, but he's also got the ghost of a lion attached to him like a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Stand. This is Serosh the Beast Lord, and apparently this is how the 'grafting' that Godrick tried to mimic is supposed to look like. 

Anyway, just like Malenia, Rennala and Radahn; Godfrey exemplifies the 'barbarian' archetype, going for heavy attacks and just looking cool while doing it. I did enjoy it, and I like Godfrey's more boisterous voice-acting, but I don't have much to say here. 

"I have shown thee courtesy enough!"

Godfrey's second phase is Hoarah Loux, Warrior, revealing that he is one of the major Tarnished mentioned a hundred hours ago in the prologue. Which... honestly, doesn't really do anything to me lore-wise. But I do like that Godfrey kills Serosh the lion attached on his back. In a nice little subversion, turns out that the lion has been acting as a power limiter for Hoarah Loux, who is normally so savage and unrestrained, and the addition of the lion somehow prevents him from going too wild? You'd think that this is a trope in media where someone "shunts his emotions aside", and Hoarah Loux is just absorbing it back... but no, Serosh is very much sentient and acting as an actual confidant and advisor. And this leads to Hoarah Loux fighting barehanded. No lions, no battleaxes... just a whole lot of wrestling moves from a big muscular blood-soaked grandpa. Okay then. 

Godfrey's lore has always been a bit more straightforward -- he rose to the status of being the first Elden Lord... or at least, the first Elden Lord associated with Marika's Golden Order. The Golden Order by Marika requires a 'god' and a 'lord/consort', and Godfrey was Marika's consort during the early days of the order, leading a lot of wars against the dragons and giants before he 'lost grace' and reverted back to Hoarah Loux for a while. The Tarnished that the game has been revolving around are all noted to trace their origins to him. It's neat, but again, I didn't really find too much attachment to him considering he doesn't get too much focus even compared to the other mostly-unseen characters. 

Radagon of the Golden Order

"..."

Okay, the design of Radagon is quite cool. Second husband to Queen Marika (the ascended 'god' of the setting, who tried to break the Elden Ring which is essentially the core of the rules of the world), this meant that we're fighting the two previous Elden Lords back to back. It's left quite a bit ambiguous what they are, but a boss fight that seems to be leading up to the imprisoned Queen Marika leads to a fight with Radagon instead. 

Except this is a shell of what Radagon used to be. It's a bit harder to tell in static images, but half of Radagon's body is gone, and made up of shadowy clumps that is replacing his entire upper left torso, arm and head. The idea does sell a crumbling, statuesque god. Within the void of his chest, the light of the Elden Ring shines. And... he fights with his hammer and a lot of holy-themed spells. Only... Radagon is completely silent throughout the entire fight, leaving a lot of theories and arguments as to whether Radagon is even sentient or if some otherworldly force is just using him as a rock-meat puppet. 

Regardless of whether Marika and Radagon are reduced to nothingness or if they just don't deign to interact with us, it is a bit disappointing that two enigmatic characters whose whole deal is that 'are their reputations and stories right about them' get zero lines of dialogue at all. But at least the music is nice. As the cutscene plays, turns out that it's set in tune to the opening main theme, which builds up to a truly epic crescendo as Radagon prepares to battle us. Which made the repeated fights against him to at least be an audial delight, even if I find him far less satisfying as a character, a boss or a design compared to Godfrey or Malenia. I am also disappointed that Marika wasn't a phase in this fight either. 

The Elden Beast

Thankfully, the second phase of the boss fight changes to something far more esoteric. As Radagon's body collapses to the ground, the entire scene changes to a strange goopy fluid, as a gigantic hand lifts up, pushes Radagon into the ground and turns him into a sword, because why not? And this thing, the Elden Beast, shows up. Final boss time!

And the Elden Beast is huge. It's also hard to describe, although I think most people agree that it's meant to resemble some sort of aquatic sea slug, magnified several times to the size of a dragon. Considering how much of the game has nautical themes (sea squirts, octopi, crabs, crayfish, the prawn-like Kindred of Rot, Godwyn's fish parts...) it kind of fits. 

It's got two very well-developed hands with five fingers each, very important in this game. It's got several pairs of feather-like wings, a long neck that terminates in a glowing orb, two stubby legs... and when it flies up, its tail kind of spreads out like a strange feathery tree. More distinctive than the strange anatomical silhouette, however, is the fact that running through its body are designs that resemble the nebulae of space, and yellow light -- both resembling the veins on a leaf and the rough structure of a nervous system -- run through the Elden Beast's body. 

The explanation given to us from items gives us hints that "it was the vassal beast of the Greater Will and living incarnation of the concept of Order." and "it is said that long ago, the Greater Will sent a golden star bearing a beast into the Lands Between, which would later become the Elden Ring." So the game itself is kind of ambiguous on what the 'Greater Will' is, and whether it truly is part of the Lands Between. Or even if such distinctions matter at all? The Elden Beast is at the same time a cosmic alien, the most powerful archangel of 'god', and the manifestation of the Elden Ring itself. 

So this thing is the Elden Ring's universe's incarnation of a Lovecraftian Elder God, something that represents the whole order of the world. A running theme of the game's story is how the Golden Order is set up and seemingly treated as absolute, while most of the endings wish to tweak or break this unfair and biased Order in some way. And after defeating everything in your way, you fight with the cosmic embodiment of the world, in a strange realm of water that your character can walk on. Oh, and strange trunks of Erdtree-like trunks run the background. 

The Elden Ring primarily fights by swinging the giant Radagon-sword around, but also casts all of the most powerful Holy spells -- since in this setting, 'holy' magic comes straight from the Erdtree that's being worshipped as the fundamentalists' primary faith. It also casts the same 'Nebula' explosion spells that the other giant alien, the Astel, casts. And it also can swim up and down through the strange watery realm that is most likely metaphysical. And in a hilarious visual pun, its most powerful attack involves it creating gigantic concentric rings of light that center upon you. It fights you with literal Elden Rings! All the holy and space-y spells are fine and good, but I find that the most simultaneously goofy and unsettling thing about it is that such an eldritch being still finds the need to swing that big sword around. 

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I could go on and on about the world-building of Elden Ring, which I also frustratedly admit hinges on a lot of assumptions and theories. What does the Elden Beast represent, and how does it relate to Marika, Radagon, Godfrey, the Golden Order, the Greater Will, the other Outer Gods, et cetera, et cetera? The game gives us a world that's clearly constructed extremely well, but with a lot of questions still left lingering, never to be answered. The fallen leaves tell a story, but not the entirety of it. Normally, that would be terrible. Normally, that would be frustrating. But the execution and the journey through the Lands Between works in spite of all of that, due to how well-executed everything is. And at the end of the day, as I ascend to the title of Elden Lord despite not comprehending huge chunks of the world... I am happy to have gone through this journey and talked about almost every monster and enemy in this game. 

Next up... the Land of Shadow. 

Let's Play Pokemon Legends Z-A, Part 32: Diamonds Are A Trainer's Best Friend

And so, as I run around doing side-quests and evolving pseudo-legendaries, I decide to highlight the Diancie side-quest. Diancie's side-quest is unlocked by getting the mystery gift, which is... still honestly a bit of a really weird thing that I've never been a fan of. It's the same system as how you unlock Mewtwo, and I suppose that lets Diancie technically keep her 'exclusive to real-world events' moniker. But honestly a lot of newer games have slowly transformed a lot of previously events-exclusive mythicals like Deoxys and Keldeo out of mythical jail, and I really do hope more and more of this happens over time. 

Anyway, with the Diancite in my pocket, I can visit Emma's little investigation bureau, at which point Mimi the Espurr ends up being interested in my little Diancite. With a lot of 'mrawp' and 'murrr-mrrawr' (very good onomatopoeias, Pokemon), Mimi insists on her interest in it. Emma explains that Mimi can sense psychic energy, telepathically picking up thoughts and feelings and transmitting them to other people. Mimi's telepathy tires her out, however, and Emma has been telling her to dial it back a bit. But sometimes it detects something, and Emma suspects my Diancite is imbued with a strong emotion. 

This leads to a bit of a run around Lumiose City as Emma and I follow Mimi around. There is a bit in the quest where Emma calls up a bunch of names, like Sedna, Eris and Nix, who appear to be her assistants that are running around the city and are people she is asking to help hold the fort. These are the very minor NPCs that were part of her 'gang' in Pokemon XY, and they are so minor that even I had to look them up since I've completely forgotten them. 

Emma gives a more straightforward recap of her XY backstory here, which is nice, since I didn't realize we didn't get the full story in the main game. Man, they did really do my girl dirty in the spotlight department, huh? Emma explains the detective bureau's ties to Looker, and Looker's ties to the International Police, and Looker's eventual departure (this would be... I think in Alola when he got amnesia?) and Emma eventually taking over with Mimi... although Emma only uses Mimi as a bit of a trump card so as not to stress Mimi out too much. 

We get a bit of a joke sequence where Mimi ends up leading us to a baguette stall because she picks up on Emma's hunger, and a brief sequence where we overhear Emma's inner monologue... but ultimately, not much more beyond that.

Mimi leads us to a rooftop where it's filled with a ton of mega crystals. Rather disappointingly, there's not an acknowledgement that the pink crystals all resemble Diancie's own pink crystals, which is a massive missed opportunity. Even if no explanations are offered, I really wished there was an acknowledgement, because come on, it's kind of obvious, isn't it? And while I don't want every legendary Pokemon to feel a bit less special, in this case I really feel it's a bit warranted. 

Two Carbink show up, and in-between the Carbink is good old Diancie. Diancie, of course, is a legendary Pokemon that technically 'evolved' or 'mutated' from Carbink in her backstory, although of course it's not something you could do in actual gameplay. Despite knowing what 'Diancite' is called, Emma is briefly baffled at what this Pokemon is. and just instructs me to catch the strange Pokemon to solve the mystery. 

Just like the Mewtwo battle, if I lose the fight, I just restart it as Emma yells at me to 'don't defeat it, you need to catch it'. Diancie is a lot more chill than Mewtwo, even with her two additional minions. She does have access to her signature Diamond Storm attack, which is rendered rather gorgeously with the mirror-shard-like mass of diamonds swirling in a cylinder towards me. I don't have much commentary to offer about the fight itself, other than I had to repeat it maybe five times because I had rather abysmal luck with properly capturing Diancie. 

For a mystery sidequest, there was not much of a mystery, by the way, about what emotions Mimi detected or how they are connected to Diancie, so there is a gigantic missed opportunity there. 

Emma does note that Diancie's pink crystals reminds her of Anistar Sundial -- a nice reference to the world outside of Lumiose City, and Emma muses about the theories of Anistar Sundial being tied to the Mega Stones (another mystery implied but never, at least to my memory, properly explained). Emma gives a bit more of her backstory, particularly about Professor Sycamore, another person that she considers her mentor. Sycamore has a theory that Mega Stones were formed 3000 years ago when AZ fired the Ultimate Weapon, which was also confirmed by AZ. 

The firing of the Ultimate Weapon 5 years ago in Pokemon XY, by the way, is also why new types of Mega Stones have been discovered in the world, particularly egregious since Mewtwo had Mega Stones associated with it, being one of the few Pokemon that we know are created close to modern times. That's nice! That's a nice little plot hole that no one questions, but I very much appreciate that they covered. 

Emma also notes that during the 3000 years that AZ wandered the earth, he also visited Hoenn, which has a phenomenon that is the 'beginning of all Mega Evolution', which of course we know to be the Primal Reversion associated with Groudon and Kyogre; and Rayquaza's own super-special stoneless mega evolution. It is a nice bit of canon-welding... we see AZ's eternal flower in Sootopolis City in Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire; and both XY and ORAS had slightly conflicting origin stories for mega evolution, both claiming that their own plot device is the 'first' ones. This is an unexpected tie-in to all that, where the Hoenn incidents with Rayquaza were the proper 'first' Mega Evolutions, but it became really widespread after the Ultimate Weapon was fired. I like that! I like that timeline reinforcement!

And hey, with that done (and the mystery of what emotions Mimi detected left forever a mystery), I now have a Diancie and a Mewtwo, both able to mega evolve and both bumming a spot in my party as I run around the post-game. I don't mind them, with the Infinite Z-A Royale or whatever being something that I just do in the background, it's nice to have some variety in the party. Although admittedly, Mega Diancie is a lot smaller than I thought. Or rather, I was surprised to see that Mega Diancie didn't actually grow a bit larger to accommodate that dress. 

Not all the side-quests are interesting, but there's a nice one where I meet Josée again in the Fists of Justice dojo. Josée wants a rematch after being beaten by me a couple of times, but if Ivor has no hope of beating me, neither is this poor girl who doesn't even have access to mega evolution. She has four Pokemon now, a Machamp, a Scrafty, a Hawlucha and a Medicham. Really think the Medicham could've been her mega! Josée reflects that she hasn't grown any stronger at all, and views herself as a disgrace...

At that point, two rogue Pangoro attack and begin rampaging around the dojo grounds. These two Pangoro apparently go out of the way to avoid the Wild Zones, showing that, yes, Pokemon are smart enough to get around all these temporary measures that Quasartico and Mable put up just while they deal with the energy radiating from Ange.

Josée asks me to fight the Pangoro with her, and we beat the two alphas handily. After the two Pangoro lumber away in shame, Ivor shows up and gives a nice little pep talk to Josée, saying that the whole point of him being willing to leave the Fists of Justice under her charge while he's away is because he trusts her, and trusts in her knowledge of the gap that she needs to bridge. It's a surprisingly nice moment for Ivor, showing why he's at least a good sensei for his martial arts dojo even if he's got a lot of screws loose in his head. 

Another side-quest that involves a member of the supporting cast is the little tenant from the Corbeau quest, the one that asked us to help deal with a Gengar infestation from his new house. The dude, Ganger... has been abandoned by his Gengar! I really thought that this quest was going to lead somewhere, since we get Gwynn to help us out. Gwynn and Chandelure, after a rematch, gets us to investigate three locations but in every location there was a different and wrong shrouded Pokemon. 

The end of this quest is a rather muted and abrupt realization that Ganger has been taking his Gengar for granted and just... gives up and walks off. It's a bit bizarre, really, and even Gwynn seems a bit confused by the whole thing. I like that it's not a happy simple reconciliation, absolutely, since that makes it a nice bit of subversion... but the fact that we don't actually get any real reflection or melancholy on something like... the capriciousness of Ghost-types, or a commentary on Pokemon needing to be wild... even the bit where Ganger randomly drops the 'revelation' that he's not been appreciating Gengar could've been actually properly built up, I think. 

Random Notes:

• I got most of the pseudos and starters up to their final forms at this point, except for Sliggoo/Goodra, who needs rain. I don't think it even rains that often in this game, so that's going to be for quite a while. 
  
• Two more side-quests:
• We get the movie-maker guy again, this time wanting to shoot a rampaging Tyrantrum. The Tyrantrum I use, of course, ends up being happy to see me as an extra in the movie and acts all cuddly. The movie director ends up finally scrapping his movie series about scary Pokemon in nature and make one about the cuteness of Pokemon. Hilariously, the male star is just 1000% done with it, just coasting along as long as he gets paid, while also simultaneously being a hundred percent sure the movie will flop. 
  
• A cook that sends me into the Lion's Den Wild Zone to look for a discarded feather from a Skarmory. I have to dodge lion earth powers while I pick up random junk like random Diggersby fur and Klefki keys, until I find the Skarmory feather on top of a roof. The cook wants to use the discarded feather as a sword. Nowhere as cool as manga!Falkner using Skarmory's feathers as blade boomerangs, but it's actually a decent quest that spotlights the Pokemon's feature, I suppose. Oh, the Skarmory also ends up staying with the NPC, which I thought was a nice little bit of story. 
• A lady called Sente wants me to bring a very weird selection of berries, some of which require me to go and buy berries from a specific stand. It really is annoying that I can only buy a single berry at a time instead of multiples at once like other items.
• Emma has been very heavily sidelined in the second half of the game, not even really participating in the final 'everyone in Lumiose fighting together' climax, and I was admittedly quite salty about that. This is a nice little extra spotlight for her, although I don't personally think it makes up for her lack of screentime in the main game. Even if the spotlight are to the new wave of characters, I still think Emma could have very easily been snuck into parts of the story like the tournament or the climax. 
• While Emma is talking about mega evolution, Mimi and Diancie are actually playing in the background. I liked that. I liked that a lot. 
• Is anyone else disappointed that Mega Diancie didn't get an updated animation of summoning a crystal sword out of the tiny floating crystals around her? Oh, everyone is? Good. They updated Mega Blastoise so its special attack has it slam its hands down so the hydro pumps are launched from the central tank cannon instead of its mouth; they could very well damn update Mega Diancie's attack animations. 
• The Gengar quest did give a rather hilarious exchange between Ganger and Gwynn, snarking about Gengar looking for haute couture, and Gwynn professing her own preference for the somewhat gothic-themed Wisp store. Which, by the way, only sells stockings and gloves, but I really want that Chandelure hat, Gwynn! Is that custom? 
• The Spritzee quest also has a brief line that gives a nod to the Juice Master from Pokemon XY. I must admit, I completely forgot the juice shop exists until the game reminded me of it, and I still had to look up what the effects of the juice is. 

Let's Play Pokemon Legends Z-A, Part 31: Beginning of the Post-Game

So we're starting off with the post-game. I've got the DLC installed, but I'll try my best to do the 'proper' post-game of Legends Z-A's base game before we head to the DLC but there will inevitably be a little bit of crossover.

We start off with Naveen, Lida and Taunie discussing AZ's death a bit, noting that AZ's will has left the hotel to do with us as we will. Okay! I do like that AZ did note that if running the hotel will be too much burden for the young trainers, we could sell it... which of course we won't do, but it's a nice thought. He notes that this whole affair has been the 'joining of the x and y axes that were never meant to meet', which is a cheeky nod to the whole debacle surrounding how this is the spiritual successor of Pokemon Z. It's nice to see more reactions from Lida and Naveen about AZ's death. 

But there's also the problem of what to do with the 'wish' from the Z-A Royale, which apparently both myself and Taunie qualify for because we're both A-ranked. So it's not just the champion? Eh. Ivor and Jacinthe show up and request that we ask for the tournament to be extended or transformed into some new form. Ivor really wants to fight, and Jacinthe really likes tournaments. There's an actually funny moment where they get :o faces as they look at each other and realize they actually agree on this front. Okay. Out of spite against Jacinthe I would actually ask for a completely different wish, but of course that's what the game is leading us towards.

We meet with President Jett and Vinnie in Centrico Plaza, where the area around the half-reconstructed remnants of Prism Tower is now sealed off as Wild Zone 20. They apologize to us for having to solve a problem that by rights should have been solved by Quasartico, which... I know that it's something that's obviously going to fall to the plucky protagonist group, but it's nice to be acknowledged. 

Jett gives us a choice for the wish, and we get a couple of options... but all of them get shot down. They even suggested that Taunie ask Quasartico to help hunt down the missing person she wants to find (which is another hanging plot thread) but Taunie wants a more 'selfless' wish. I asked for 'more pokemon to be allowed into the city' first, which obviously they can't do with the critical mass of the Wild Zones. So Taunie and I ask for the Z-A Royale to be continued in some way. 

Apparently this is also something that AZ has discussed with Jett and Vinnie before, and they had noted that trainers gain something from the battles. Vinnie is ready to activate the 'Infinite Z-A Royale' at a moment's notice, calling his team to 'push an update' to the app. This, of course, means that the nightly Z-A royale mechanics continue to happen, with a bit of a twist. Each challenger's ticket entitles me to a match with prizes from Quasartico Inc. Okay!

Trying out this mode, I farm the points required for the Ticket (which, not going to lie, is a bit grindy... but I do have some pseudo-legendaries to evolve) and I talk to the Quasartico Inc personnel. They arrange a fight with me... 

...with, gloriously, Le Eternel Z, Zach himself. His Slowpoke, Pidgey and Pikachu are still level 15. The Shelgon and Sliggoo I was training were more than enough to tear them down, let alone my actual team! Beating Zach gives me one of the Johto Apricorn balls, but I assume that the other trainer rematches will happen in the Infinite Royale as well. 

Afterwards, I return to Hotel Z to see Lysandre there. Lysandre reflects on how he is glad on the few conversations he had with AZ, no matter how scant... and this is where he confirms about his newly-obtained immortality, because AZ is the only other person who understands the agony of not being able to die. They also share their reflections on both their good and heinous deeds... which, again, this game doesn't highlight as much as I thought it should, but at least Naveen brings up how AZ did do a genocide, it's just 3000 years ago, and the only thing that maybe makes it 'okay' is that he was punished for it and is making amends now. 

Lysandre also notes that Ange's construction, despite the chaos it wrought, at least now has a positive impact in bringing wild Pokemon gathering around Lumiose City. Which... I'd argue whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, and Lysandre also notes the same. Despite the co-habitation opportunities, Pokemon and humans are still separated by the holo-barriers. Lysandre muses that he is looking forward to observing what the people of Lumiose will choose. That's probably not until a future game, though I do like the rather bold writing move of the writers for portraying the 'gimmick' of this game as something not entirely good. 

Lysandre then tells us that he remembers something from his time in Team Flare... about "The One That Gives" and "The One That Takes". Xerneas and Yveltal! The cover legendaries of Pokemon X and Y! That's cool. Lysandre essentially sends us off to investigate the two of them, which is the post-game for Legends Z-A. 

Also, being that we haven't obtained Zygarde yet, that is also part of the post-game. Lysandre notes that Zygarde has likely exhausted its power and is recovering. Lysandre sends me off to investigate Xerneas and Yveltal, and troops off. Lida lampshades this, noting that 'he's trying to win the Cryptic Old Guy contest!' That got a chuckle out of me. I mean, it's nothing compared to your average Elden Ring dialogue, but I appreciate that Lida and Naveen did bring up the supreme unhelpfulness of Lysandre's advice. Team MZ brings up that we have some ex-Team-Flare contacts, being Mable and Grisham/Griselle, and it's off to see them... next time. I'm going to do a bunch of side-quests and exploration. 

(I did do another round of the Infinite Z-A royale and my next 'champion' opponent was Griselle, which was funny. Not sure if there's any rewards in the landmarks, but I do need the experience points for my pseudo-legendaries.)

Wild Zone 20 is just the new park-like area around the destroyed Prism Tower. Alpha Pokemon always appear in the area below the tower itself, but there are some watery, bridged areas and some construction zone areas. All the Pokemon that appear are fully-evolved, and many of them (Aggron, Scrafty, Malamar, Dragalge, Gardevoir, Lucario) are able to mega-evolve. More importantly, all the starters appear here... The three starters of Legends Z-A, plus the three Kanto starters. 

With some other trade-exclusive evolutions like Machamp also potentially appearing here, almost all of the base game's dex is captureable. I believe only Aromatisse, Slurpuff and I believe either Scizor or Alakazam are left. 

With the post-game, certain events are activated, too. I claimed the items from when they were released back in October and December respectively, but now I go back to the B3F floor of Lysandre Labs. At this point, the system detects the two Mega Stones within my inventory... Mewtwonite X and Mewtwonite Y. 

The computer asks me whether I would like to release the locks to this dangerous project. Of course, I do. At this point, Mable calls me to ask me what I'm doing, releasing the extremely dangerous Mewtwo. Mable tells me that I need to catch Mewtwo, who is unleashed from behind the screen or something, I guess. The Mewtwo is fully offensive. No Recover moveset nonsense here, he's got Psychic, Psycho-Cut, Aura Sphere and Shadow Ball. And the nature of the game means that I can't just spam healing items, since Mewtwo gets enraged after a bit and balls don't work until I defeat him. 

Thankfully, if I defeat him, Mable just gets pissed off at me for 'showing off' and defeating a legendary, and I just retry with Mewtwo at full health. Eventually, I catch Mewtwo. 

Mable then shows up in holo-flesh, and starts giving a bit of an explanation. Seeing Lysandre Labs gets her a bit of a complicated feeling, Mable gives us the backstory of Mewtwo. It's a Pokemon created by a scientist that was experimenting on Pokemon DNA... and it has formidable power, which piqued Team Flare's interest. At some point, they were wondering if they could use Mewtwo's power in the Ultimate Weapon project. In a nice tie-in to one of the few locations where Mewtwo has a dedicated dungeon to it outside of Kanto, apparently, in the canonical timeline of events, Team Flare found Mewtwo lurking in Kalos's Unknown Dungeon, and it is them that captured Mewtwo instead of the player character. 

Mable theorizes that Mewtwo arrives to Unknown Dungeon in Kalos searching for the power of Mega Evolution... but no one can say for certain. Mewtwo refused to mega evolve with either Mewtwonite X or Mewtwonite Y, probably because of the whole 'the Pokemon must trust the trainer' baggage that mega evolution comes with. And with Mewtwo conserving its energy until it needs to battle, Team Flare put Project M on hold and 'forgot about it'. 

I am sorry, Mable, what the fuck? You guys captured Mewtwo, the strongest man-made Pokemon, clone of the Alpha Pokemon Mew, a highly valuable and mighty legendary Pokemon that every organization in the Pokemon World would want, and just... forgot about it? For six years? Just... just leave that psychic embryo cat-god in a tank in a secret base under an abandoned cafe? You just... just forgot about Mewtwo? Man, Team Flare is the worst evil team out there. 

Mable tries to make it all sound cryptic and mysterious, wondering why Mewtwo awakened and reacted to the Mewtwonites I have in my inventory (they literally fell out of the sky, Mable, we don't exactly get an in-universe explanation to these mystery gifts). Mable speculates Mewtwo would respect a kind trainer like me, and of course it'll mega evolve with me. And Mable then closes off the call with a 'byeee' and a waving animation that looks slightly nightmarish thanks to the holo-effect and the context of the conversation.

Still, that was a nice little side-mission for the bonus legendary Pokemon. I like this. I like that the mystery gift legendaries aren't just popped into your box randomly, but get a whole little mission tied to it. When was the last time we had one of these? Probably Victini and Liberty Island in Generation V? I participated in a lot of Wi-Fi events in VI-IX, but we don't exactly get a lot of dialogue and especially not a full quest like this normally. 

Oh, and before we leave for this, I also met a second shiny, which is a random shiny Budew in the overworld! Which I caught in a Dusk Ball, which isn't my preferred ball for a shiny Budew or Roselia or Roserade... but you panic a little when you hear that shiny noise. The shiny Roselia line isn't the most exciting of shinies -- Budew is a bit more prominent due to its purple 'bib', but shiny Roselia and Roserade only changes their flower from red/blue to purple/black... which is nice but I also wished there were a bit more changes in the main 'fairy flower person' body. 

Still, it is a new shiny and while Roserade doesn't exactly have a new mega in this game, I do like Roserade enough to slowly build up a little guest star in my team here. I've never really thought too much about Roserade before, and finding a shiny is always a nice little excuse to appreciate a Pokemon more... which is what I've been doing with shiny Slowbro (and Mega Slowbro) in this playthrough. So yeah, Roserade! 

Random Notes:

• 
  It is quite notable that 'canonically', Mewtwo only really appears in the mainline games in Kanto's Cerulean Cave (in the Kanto and Johto games), and Kalos's Unknown Dungeon. All other Mewtwo appearances have been either been part of gifts, or ambiguous alternate-universe stuff like Hoopa rings, Ultra Dimension; or the Gigantamax max-lair nonsense. I like that at least someone in the Pokemon team is actually keeping track of the 'canon journeys' of some of these legendary Pokemon!
• Naveen does make a nice point about how Kalos had two catastrophes in what is a five-year time frame in-universe, which is why celebrations like the reopening of Centrico Plaza is much needed. 
  
• There is a bit where Team MZ discuss about how it's a bit 'selfish' for them to use the wish to maintain Hotel Z, but I dunno... I feel like Vinnie at least would be invested in maintaining the hotel even without us asking. 
  
• Naveen does ask Jacinthe about why she has to go through all this hullaballoo with tournaments, instead of just asking people to battle like regular trainers do. Jacinthe being Jacinthe, she just gives a non-answer. 
• Other side-quests that I did:
• A lady wants me to show her an XL-sized Avalugg for her four little Bergmite to sit on. I show her an Alpha Avalugg, which she takes pictures of. That's cute. Her pictures go viral. 
• A lady called Aimee who boasts that her Pokemon is actually secretly super-strong. She uses baby Pokemon like Cleffa and Pichu... and... I don't know what the joke is, since they're weak. I almost wished they were level 100 or something. Not sure what this one is all about. 
• Another 'trainer that introduces a concept' is a Pokemon Center Nurse called Bien, who shows off recovery moves. The fight itself isn't anything to write home about, although I did like the brief, short jokes about her making fun her being a P.C. nurse that has to now heal her own team.  
• A lady called Chante, who is a white-outfitted Hex Maniac, shows off Perish Song, which kills everyone that hears it in 30 seconds. It's nowhere as creepy as it could've been. 
• Some more side-quests seem to be about me raising a specific member of a Pokemon species and participating in an endgame-level fight against them. So far, I've unlocked: 
  
• A lady with an Alolan Raichu who wants me to raise my own Raichu to fight hers, and prove Raichu superority. I did giggle when she introduces herself as the leader (and only member) of CHARGE: the Committee to Highlight Alolan Raichu, and Generate Excitement. That's cute. 
• A pair of kids fighting about which fossil to buy -- Tyrunt or Amaura -- and the sister asks me to raise up a powerful Aurorus and fight the brother's team with only an Aurorus. 
• A kid dressed like Ash Ketchum who shows off his 'strongest Pikachu in the world' because it has a Light Ball. 
• There's also a really stupid side-quest that tells me to hunt down a specific combination of berries, which is just really banal. 

Reviewing Monsters: Elden Ring, Part 23

At this point I focus most of my efforts at Farum Azula, which is a very impressive visual spectacle but a bit of a nightmare to navigate because all of the crumbling ruins really do look the same. The enemy variety is probably also not the best, with Beastmen or Knights forming around 90% of the encounters and they're not the most interesting things to fight through. 

Add that to a lot of questions being raised more than answered throughout the course of the dungeon transversal, and I actually think that once the hype of seeing the giant floating city is gone, Farum Azula might be my least favourite part of the game? I mean, I still think that the presentation of our introduction to Farum Azula might be the best in the game (with really only Leyndell, Caelid and maybe Nokron matching it) but navigating it and going through it was probably the least fun I've had with any of Elden Ring's legacy dungeons. It's not a major complaint since I did get through it, but... I don't know. I just really didn't enjoy jumping around and navigating through the crumbling ruins, all the enemies are very samey and boring -- there's one or two cool dragon fights and crucible knights, and then it's back to a slog of beastmen. 

And also? I'm not the biggest fan of how Maliketh is presented compared to the other major demigod characters. I know it's the 'style' of these SoulsBorne games, but while I enjoyed the presentation of practically everything else, and how the story is truly formed only if you talk to everyone and read everything... I felt like the strange juxtaposition of Gurranq-in-Caelid and Gurranq-in-Farum-Azula to be a bit off, and that Maliketh himself barely had any buildup, even less than Mohg. And the cutaways of the game transporting us to and away from Farum Azula felt really... random. At the end of the day Farum Azula just felt like a cool dungeon that felt really off and detached to the rest of the world, and at the end of the day, past the spectacle, it might be my least favourite part of the game. 

__________________________________________

Astel, Stars of Darkness
In a very random location in the Consecrated Snowfield, the Yelough Anix Tunnel, is... another Astel? Actually, is Astel the name of the species, then, not the name of the individual we saw in the depths of the world? This one felt bizarre. There is some discussion, perhaps, to be made about the repeating bosses here and there, and I don't mind when it's... Catacomb Watchdogs or Erdtree Avatars or whatnot. But repeating seemingly unique bosses like Godrick and the first Astel just feels a bit... off. I wouldn't have minded if the Yelough Anix Tunnel gave us some context to this thing, since the original Astel had such a great buildup with how we reach there... but all the underground locations and the Nox culture have actually done a bit in setting up the tone. Stars of Darkness here is just squatting in a random cave, which has a Frenzied Flame theme instead of anything relating to the Astel. It's weird. 

Stars of Darkness has an extra grab attack (or maybe it's just one I didn't see with the original Astel) where it disappears, and makes like six shadowy clones that charge in from all sides of the circular room to grab you. 

Putrid Grave Warden Duelist
A boss of another minor catacombs that isn't just a straight model reuse, the Putrid Duelist is one of the Duelists from Leyndell but infected with Scarlet Rot. We've seen enemies like these before where we just add rot or frenzy to them; and at some point I stopped noting them down unless they have unique armour or whatnot. But the Putrid Duelist actually has something cool in that those snake-like bracelets and helmets actually turn into snakes to attack you. Somehow, the rot infection has also animated their stone armour? Huh. 

Soldjars of Fortune

In one of the catacombs that I've slowly been clearing out with a checklist (it is a point of contention for me that Elden Ring doesn't at least 'mark' the dungeons I've cleared) one of them has a bunch of special Living Jars that set themselves on fire and charge at you with the express purpose of blowing up. Based on the Spirit Ashes you find, these guys are called by the gloriously punny name of 'Soldjars of Fortune', with the description of them being 'reckless spirits [that] sacrifice themselves to vanquish their summoner's foes, and explode upon death'. They are actually distinguished from the regular Living Jars by having yellow wax-lids instead of red. That's neat. I wonder if this is an adaptation that the Living Jars themselves made, or if whoever made the Living Jars in the first place created these variants for a particular reason?

 

Iron Fist Alexander

"All vessels are destined to one day break... But the great Alexander lived as a warrior to his last! HA HA HA HA HA!"

And speaking of Living Jars... My boy Iron Fist Alexander is probably my favourite NPC in this game, and by a huge margin compared to everyone else. We first meet him with his ass stuck in a hole in the ground all the way back in Limgrave, and he's shown up almost every other area in his journey to find and fight powerful warriors. After what was supposed to be a humiliating defeat during the Starscourge Radahn fight (ironically, in-game he's likely to be one of the last ones to fall due to his high health) Alexander continued to train himself to be the best 'warrior vessel', eventually aiding in our fight against the Fire Giant and even beating a couple of dragons in Farum Azula. 

And Alexander is a great showcase of how the Living Jars function, because through all of this Alexander makes it a point that his goal in life -- and it's portrayed as something noble and normal to him -- is to continue fighting stronger warriors, and to take in their remnants into himself. Because if the implications isn't already clear from item descriptions and animations, the Living Jars contain the remnants of corpses, and Warrior Jars like Alexander feel a sense of pride and purpose in creating the most perfect warrior ever.

And of course, the strongest warrior that Alexander has seen is, of course, us. Cause he fought Radahn and the Fire Giant, yes, but we beat them. But Alexander doesn't attack us like a crazed madman, not like so many other NPCs that become hostile to us. He gives us an option, asks us for permission, and even if he beats us his dialogue makes a note of how we weren't 'giving it his all'. And when he dies, he gives a defiant, prideful speech to the skies. The Great Alexander, yes, lived and died doing what he loved... living as a warrior to his last. That's a bit of a sad story, but ol' Alexander is one of the few characters in the otherwise depressing world of Elden Ring who chose how he died, and died happily. 

Godskin Duo

Serving as the mid-bosses of Crumbling Farum Azula are these assholes. The Godskins have been some of the more annoying bosses in the game, so obviously having two is a way to up the difficulty without programming a new boss moveset. They also have a shared health bar that's way bigger than their combined health. Which means that even if you manage to kill the two of them... they'll keep resurrecting in their empowered second-phase forms until you reduce that total health bar to zero. 

And they are notoriously difficult to fight because both Godskins have abilities that allow them insane mobility and reach, with the Noble inflating itself into a spinning wheel that rolls around the room and the Noble being able to turn himself into a giant flesh-whip.

In one of the minor caves around the Mountaintops, it's infested with those Spirit-Caller Snails that summon spirits of ghostly wolves and samurai, and the boss are actually these Godskins one after the other, which I thought was a nicer 'story' as a boss fight than just two of them hanging out in their fleshy skin-hoodies in a random room. 

Recusant Bernahl

This guy is an interesting one. Acting as a kinda-sorta miniboss in Farum Azula, Bernahl is one of the longest-running NPCs in the game, being a random Ashes-of-War tutor all the way back in Limgrave, until you find him having defected to Volcano Manor and working with them as one of the Tarnished-hunting assassins. We even go and kill a bunch of Tarnished with him as an assist, and he even shows up to help us fight the Godskin Duo! And then, rather abruptly, he fights me. I suppose he goes insane from anger or madness or something? It's implied from a lot of the item descriptions and dialogue about him that Bernahl was, like Vyke, quite close to becoming Elden Lord until he lost his maiden, and now he's just lashing out in anger under otherwise noble cause of "we refuse to be your pawns, o' Golden Order!" Honestly, this is why I strongly dislike the 'invader' mechanic. It's not like you're going to break immersion by having Bernahl spawn in my world and talk to me and explain why he views me as fighting for the Golden Order or something? They clearly could do it, they did it with Iron Fist Alexander and it feels far more natural. 

Gurranq, Beast Clergyman / Maliketh, the Black Blade

"O death... become my blade... once more!"

Crumbling Farum Azula is unique in that it technically has two bosses, but one of them is completely optional. The main boss for storyline purposes is this guy! You enter the coliseum-like arena and find... Gurranq! Or just 'Beast Clergyman', as a boss. Gurranq is this big ogre-like being in ragged hoods who we meet in Caelid and is the host of a collection side-quest of collecting all these Deathroots sprouting around Those Who Live In Death. In-between his moments of lucidity (he actually goes hostile briefly during the progression of the quest) he mutters something about a 'sin', and his primal bestial spells mention that Gurranq used to be someone much more imposing called Death of the Demigods. Would've been nice if someone, anyone, actually mentioned this, though. 

Gurranq himself is... he sure is a big brute in rags. I felt like Morgott pulled that look off much better, you know? Gurranq just pounces and charges at you like a gorilla. Sure, he uses some of the beast spells that he teaches us... but it's just throwing rocks and the same 'sword explosion' anime attack that I've seen the Vulgar Militia do all game long. Gurranq is also disappointingly easy, being relatively predictable. 

Fortunately, at around 60% health, Gurranq ditches the robe and the beast spells. He stabs himself in the hand, and reveals his true form. I don't think he's classified as a demigod, but he might as well be -- he is Maliketh, the Black Blade. Not to be confused with Malekith, the Marvel comics villain. The spelling is completely different! Maliketh is the 'shadow' of Queen Marika, similar to what we've seen Blaidd be to Ranni. And Maliketh is badass in a simple but extremely effective way. A lithe, muscular giant wolf-man with flowing white hair, and black-and-gold armour? It's a very simple design, but one that just screams 'cool' to the inner eight-year-old in me. I recognize it's far from being Elden Ring's more creative designs, but he looks neat. I suppose him being a big badass werewolf makes him the 'boss' of the Farum Azula Beastmen?

He's also insanely fast, really hammering home the 'savage beast' side that his Gurranq persona didn't have. As Maliketh he just jumps all over the colosseum arena like a frenzied, rabid monster and just swings that giant sword of his and unleashes crazy amounts of anime air-slash combo moves, except of course they are black and red. In an interesting twist compared to most of the other bosses in this game (and especially compared to Fire Giant and Rykard, the two main bosses I took down before him) Maliketh is insanely fragile. He dodges my attacks like it's no one's business, but I'm carving out chunks of his health pool with every sorcery that lands. But he's jumping around so much, leaping across the entire length of the arena and clinging to giant pillars. It's quite refreshing, actually, to have both boss and player be dodging each other. 

I think out of the 'demigod' or demigod-adjacent fights, Maliketh might be the one I finished off the quickest, with less than five attempts to take him down. But I also think that the experience in fighting him is the most intense due to how fast everything is. I don't have much else to say about Maliketh's design as a monster otherwise. 

Dragonlord Placidusax

The other big boss of Crumbling Farum Azula requires is a bit of a secret boss, and significantly harder than Maliketh. Or honestly any other boss at this point in the game. One of the two 'secret' bosses of the game, the way to get to Placidusax is to jump and navigate a bunch of hidden ledges, and then 'go to sleep' in a little coffin enclave that is empty... something that is honestly quite easy to miss without a guide. We then get a really cool scene of a sepia tone being applied to the place, the giant tornado slowing down, and the ruins slowly reforming themselves. This secret boss, by the way, is the only real thing that explains that there is some time magic being cast upon Farum Azula -- which people tend to use to handwave the Gurranq paradox (the Caelid!Gurranq can still be alive despite you completing Farum Azula). But the ancient dragons being apparently able to bend time and affect their aging is another nice way for them to have the flavour of these ancient dragons being something a bit more divine than just big fire-breathing dinosaurs. 

But Dragonlord Placidusax is the dragon lord of the ancient dragons, and environmental storytelling in Farum Azula show quite clearly that the ancient dragons used to live there in cohabitation with the ancient Beastmen (who seem to worship them). The Dragonlord Placidusax was, in fact, identified as the first Elden Lord... before even the Golden Order's Elden Lord, Godfrey. It is another nail in the coffin of how the seemingly 'big good' Golden Order have been whitewashing (gold-washing?) history in making it look that only those 'blessed by grace' that are part of the order, and everything else is secondary. Omens are to be locked up, demihumans and misbegotten are to be shunned, albinaurics are to be purged, and dragons and fire giants are enemies to wage war against. When Placidusax himself is apparently a former Elden Lord himself. 

Placidusax's design is quite cool, too. The way we first see him, he's in a meditative state, looking like a strange cocoon with his two heads pointing upwards and his wings wrapped around his body in a prayer position. It's a position not unlike how we find the Two Fingers, envoys of the Greater Will. 

And then he fights, and it's a really cool design. Placidusax is a more elaborate version of the 'Ancient Dragon' model we've seen. Four legs, four wings, looking far more regal and humanoid than the wyvern-like lesser dragons we've seen before... with one particular exception. Placidusax has multiple legs, and they are coiled around his body. We only see two, but there are clear stumps where his heads used to be. Presumably, going with the whole 'fingers' theme, Placidusax might have had five heads at one point? It'd also make him quite similar with the fantasy genre's premier multi-headed dragon Tiamat. 

But even wounded, Placidusax is one of the hardest boss in the game, controlling the weather in a way far greater than the likes of Lansseax and Fortissax were. He creates giant spiral-shaped spears of lightning and launches it all over the place, and at one point begins turning himself into a storm cloud and teleporting all over the place. Placidusax is an intensely cool but hard boss fight.

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I would like to say that I didn't actually beat Placidusax just yet, but I would like to talk to him because I did experience his boss fight and it's topical. But next up we'll probably cover both the Haligtree and the final leg of the story together... after beating Maliketh, the Rune of Death sealed within him erupts and properly sets the Erdtree on fire and transforms Leyndell into the 'Ashen Capital', which is our final main-story dungeon. All very exciting, but to my understanding this means that we don't really have that many monsters left. So I'll probably combine the Ashen Capital and the Haligtree together... and then after that, who knows, the DLC!