Saturday, 27 January 2018

One Piece 892 Review: Smoothie Does Something!

One Piece, Chapter 892: Recognized as Strong Opponents


Hoo, lots of manga chapters we have to go through today. I'm not sure if I'll be able to deliver as quickly as possible, but we'll get One Piece done today at least. Real life's been pretty busy recently and I'll have to apologize if superhero TV and weekly manga reviews get delayed (even further in the case of the former). Still, this chapter's pretty decent.  

The cover story shows the Tontatta's ship, which has a figurehead of Usopp's screaming face and it's the most hilarious thing I've seen today. I still don't particularly like the Tontattas, but in very small moderation they're not bad. 

The chapter essentially has Big Mom change position as she now chases after the huge cake on Bege's ship, and Bege's been convinced to let Big Mom eat the cake before they do any sort of assassination attempts. It's definitely not what I expected how the plot to go, but it's a neat development. Pudding sends Sanji back to the Thousand Sunny and there's a big huggy reunion between Sanji and Nami. 

We get a fun bit as Perospero gets utterly bamboozled by what's going on (he assumes the cake's poisoned, after all). There's also a brief scene as Brook tells Sanji that Carrot and especially Pedro are just totally sleeping in another room... which... I dunno, would Sanji of people be the sort of dude to react otherwise if someone told him Pedro dies?

We get a fun little diagram courtesy of Perospero showing the positions of the fleet. Big Mom's chasing Bege to Liquor Island, which in turn is going to be chased by the fleets of Perospero and Bavarois, but they leave the Sunny to Smoothie. Who, I have to be honest, is a character who I completely forgot about, what with her having done absolutely nothing of note in this arc despite being hyped up as one of the Sweet Commanders. Smoothie's all like "yeah, should've have left it to us in the first place, silly men!" and she's got a pair of seemingly long-leg-tribe sisters, the pretty Cinnamon and the gonk Citron. As much as I like that a neglected character gets some screentime, is it really necessary to pad out this arc even further? Definitely feeling a huge pang of fatigue in this week's chapter. 

Meanwhile, everyone's figured out that the Big Mom Pirates are waiting for Luffy and the Straw Hats on Cacao Island, with Oven ordering all mirrors but one be smashed, and Mont D'Or noting that despite them being 'weakling' pirates, their track record of causing chaos and fucking over their operations have given them cause to panic and generally take precautions.

We actually get to see a bit of Luffy and Katakuri fighting, with Katakuri seemingly impaling Luffy on his spear, Luffy shouting loudly and the jelly-bean girl laughing. I think there's some sort of weird skill going on as the panel before the impact shows Luffy getting blurred... but I dunno. We'll see what happens next week... it's a decent chapter, but one where the questionable pacing of this arc as a whole is brought into question. 

Friday, 26 January 2018

Lore of Hearthstone, Episode #13 - Whispers of the Old Gods [Legendaries]

The Old Gods:

Yeah, we're still doing this! I've not been playing a lot of Hearthstone recently, but I like the franchise enough to talk about the lore behind the characters in the game.

With Whispers of the Old Gods, we're going to need to be a little different considering that the expansion is based around the Legendaries -- the four Old Gods. So we're going to talk about the legendaries first before the non-legendaries.

The Old Gods are beings created from the Great Dark Beyond. Some claim that the Old Gods serve the even more powerful Void Gods, and are thrown into space to infect worlds and corrupt the nascent world-souls that may potentially become a Titan. Whatever the case, the four Old Gods -- C'Thun, Yogg-Saron, N'Zoth, and the mightiest among them, Y'Shaarj -- would impact upon Azeroth in the prehistoric times when the only life on Azeroth were only the four warring elementals. The Old Gods are huge, fleshy beings of nondescript shape, mounds of flesh, tentacles, eyeballs and gaping mouths, and would wage war against the elemental lords, eventually enslaving them. The Old Gods would spawn two races to serve them -- the n'raqi, beings of horrible flesh and corruption (a.k.a. the Faceless Ones) and the insectoid aqir, precursors to the modern-day nerubians, qiraji and mantid. With this, the Old Gods created the Black Empire, a mighty dread kingdom that ran rampant over all of Azeroth. This was several thousand years before even the first elf or troll would be born. The Old Gods would revel in the madness, with N'Zoth, C'thun and Yogg-Saron in particular sending forces to fight each other for territory.

(Obviously, the Old Gods take more than a significant amount of inspiration from the Cthulhu mythos created by H.P. Lovecraft.)

The Old Gods' corruption caused the Titan Pantheon to take notice, and in order to save Azeroth from further corruption, they created their armies, the Titanforged, led by the mighty Titan Keepers, to wage war against the armies of the Black Empire and free Azeroth. The mightiest among the Old Gods, Y'Shaarj, would be too mighty for the titanforged to defeat, and this caused the mightiest Titan, Aman'thul, to reach his arm down (Titans are kind of the size of planets) and rip Y'Shaarj out of Azeroth. The act of forcibly ripping out Y'Shaarj created a gigantic gaping wound on the planet from whence the 'blood' of Azeroth itself would bleed out (this would later be as the Well of Eternity by the night elves), and the Titans realized that the Old Gods have been so embedded deeply within the world's surface to safely be removed without destroying Azeroth itself, so instead the Titans and the titanforged would wage a war to imprison the Old Gods deep beneath the surface, minimizing their evil and containing them forever beneath Azeroth.

The battle was hard and fierce, but the three remaining Old Gods are successfully imprisoned, guarded by Titans. Yogg-Saron was imprisoned on the icy north of Azeroth, in the prison of Ulduar in what is now known as Northrend. C'Thun was imprisoned in the region now known as Silithus, within the fortress of Ahn'Qiraj. N'Zoth was imprison in an as-of-yet unnamed facility, the location of which has been sunk deep beneath the ocean.

There, the Old Gods would be chained, bound, for tens and tens of thousands of years, unable to do anything... but whisper. And from these whispers, the Old Gods have managed to corrupt or drive crazy some of the mightiest and noblest beings on Azeroth, and a lot of the threats that currently plague, or have once plagued, Azeroth can be traced to that of the Old Gods. In particular, the Old Gods would cause the titanforged to succumb to the Curse of Flesh. Once immortal beings of stone, iron and earth, the Curse of Flesh turned them mortal, into flesh-and-bone creatures that can grow old and die. Mechagnomes became gnomes, vrykul became humans, earthen became dwarves... Yogg-Saron in particular would be particularly adept, influencing the greatest of the Titan Keepers to actually wage war against each other, thus denying Azeroth of its greatest champions and leaving only mortal races with such finite lifespans on the world. Even Y'Shaarj, slain by Aman'Thul since the ordering of the world, still laid scars on the continent of Pandaria, where his dying breath and minions still corrupts the land to this land. The touch and corruption of the Old Gods were everywhere, and as they gather power and their minions slowly awaken, they have grown to be more and more powerful. It was these whispers, which played and amplified the latent negative emotions and character flaws within other creatures, that made the Old God so much more dangerous than simply being huge globules of flesh and tentacles.

In areas where the influence of the Old Gods are powerful, players would hear the whispers, spoken randomly as they transverse through them.

C'Thun, the Old God of Madness:

"You... are already... dead..."

C'Thun (kuh-THOON) is the Old God of madness of chaos, imprisoned deep within the desert fortress of Ahn'Qiraj. After his defeat, C'Thun lay dormant within his prison, but the accidental arrival of the aqiri into Ahn'Qiraj, chased within there by the ancient trolls, would give C'Thun an opportunity to extend his influence, warping the aqir into Qiraji, a far more deadly insectoid race. Some time after the Sundering, the night elves would accidentally awaken the dormant Qiraji, and that stirred the dormant C'Thun. C'Thun drove the Qiraji and their Silithid minions into a frenzy, setting off the War of the Shifting Sands as the swarm marched into the desert of Silithus, and would have overran the night elves if the Qiraji didn't accidentally swarm over the Caverns of Time and their masters, the bronze dragonflight. With the aid of the bronze dragons (who would later summon the other three) the Qiraji would be pushed back, but at a high cost. Many night elves and dragons fell, including the son of the night elven general Fandral Staghelm (more on him below). The dragons and the night elves would erect the mighty Scarab Wall around Silithus and Ahn'Qiraj, sealing C'Thun's minions within the desert, foiling the Old God's plans to extend his influence.

Body of C'Thun
However, in World of Warcraft, the Gates of Ahn'Qiraj would be opened by mortals, and the Qiraji once more threatened the world. The dragons are unable to enter the temple, because C'Thun was prepared and had erected spells that caused dragons to be unable to set foot into Ahn'Qiraj. However, the very mortal adventurers would storm into Ahn'Qiraj and slaughter the leadership of the Qiraji, and would descend into C'Thun's chamber. What was initially thought impossible ended up being possible as C'Thun, final boss of Ahn'Qiraj, fought the mortals, first as a gigantic eye, and later in his fleshy maw-like body (similar to the Forgotten One from Warcraft III). Thus C'Thun would be the first of the three Old Gods to fall to mortals.

N'Zoth, the Corruptor:

"I can taste the essence of your soul... so sweet..."

N'Zoth (nuh-ZAH-th)  is the most enigmatic of the four Old Gods, being the only one who hasn't really shown his face. Or, well, what passes for his face. N'Zoth's first visual depiction was in fact in Hearthstone (they did work together and get approval from the WoW team, though). During the days of the Black Empire, N'Zoth controlled what would become the Eastern Kingdoms in the modern day. While it is known that he was sealed in a location between the Well of Eternity and Uldaman, a location that is now deep beneath the ocean, the name of the facility is unknown. Numerous different sources, be it whispers of the other Old Gods or their minions, often make reference to the "Drowned God" that lies dreaming deep beneath the ocean, which are hints to N'Zoth's true nature and location.

File:Azshara and N'Zoth.jpg
(N'Zoth is the Fish)
It's not confirmed in-game, but various tertiary sources have noted that N'Zoth took part in whispering and corrupting Neltharion into Deathwing, and he was the mysterious benefactor from beneath the waves that allowed Queen Azshara and her Highborne to be transformed into the naga. It's often speculated (but never confirmed) that N'Zoth was behind the attacks by the naga and faceless ones attempting to take over the Abyssal Maw from the control of Neptulon. Various sources also credit N'Zoth with corrupting the Emerald Dream, although Yogg-Saron was the first to breach it. The enigmatic whispers of the Puzzle Box of Yogg-Saron, an eldritch artifact, as well as Il'gynoth, the Heart of Corruption (added in Legion), often mention Ny'alotha, a city deep beneath the waves that N'Zoth seem to have power over. In Mists of Pandaria, the cursed weapon Xal'atoh, a weapon from the Black Empire, sometimes whispers that "the God of the Deep writhes in his prison, breaking free ever so slowly." N'Zoth's quotes is taken from one of the whispers that Xal'atoth says, which tend to be whispers attributed to Y'Shaarj.

N'Zoth would be featured 

Yogg-Saron, Hope's End

"MADNESS WILL CONSUME YOU!"

Yogg-Saron, the God of Death, the Beast of a Thousand Mouths (those aren't eyes), is one of the four Old Gods, and he is perhaps the first emergence of the Old Gods in modern Azerothian history. He was defeated by the Titans, and would be imprisoned in the facility of Ulduar in what would become Northrend. Perhaps Yogg-Saron is one of the most influential Old Gods, considering the far-reaching impact of what he had done on Azeroth. Yogg-Saron's whispers preyed on his own jailer, the great Keeper Loken, one of the nine mightiest titanforged left to safeguard Azeroth. Yogg-Saron is also the Old God credited with spreading the Curse of Flesh, a curse that transformed the once-immortal Titanforged into vulnerable beings of flesh and blood. Yogg-Saron would whisper into the ears of Loken, who had an affair with Sif, the wife of his brother Thorim. Yogg-Saron's whispers caused Loken to be consumed in anger and jealousy, and in an accident, Loken killed Sif. Yogg-Saron would whisper and cause Loken to blame the ice giants and causing war between the Keepers and the ice giants, and the spread of the Curse of Flesh caused the Keepers to panic even further. Thanks to Yogg-Saron's whispers, the darkness within Loken's heart was magnified. He would attempt to kill the other Keepers, starting with Mimiron, forcing Mimiron's servants to place him into the body of a mechagnome. Hodir and Freya were next to fall, being similarly corrupted by Yogg-Saron. Odyn's adopted daughter, Helya, was also persuaded to imprison Odyn for all time within his own realm. Thus Loken and all other Titan Keepers within Ulduar were corrupted by Yogg-Saron, and the survivors of that were only Archaedas and Tyr.

Yogg-Saron's other biggest credit was the creation of the Emerald Nightmare, corrupting the World Tree Vordrassil as well as opening a gateway into the world known as the Emerald Dream, placing a seed of corruption that would take hold and corrupt the once-sacred realm (N'Zoth helped) and indirectly cause the deaths and corruption of many powerful wild gods, among them the bear god Ursoc, and, much later, the likes of Ysera and Cenarius. Based on visions seen in-game, Yogg-Saron was directly responsible, if not having a hand, in Neltharion's corruption into Deathwing and his subsequent creation of the Demon Soul; the assassination of King Llane by Garona Halforcen; and Arthas Menethil, the Lich King, torturing Bolvar Fordragon.

The existence of the Old Gods and their Faceless One minions were first seen in Northrend, meaning that these were likely to be minions of Yogg-Saron. Arthas Menethil and Anub'arak, champions of the Scourge, would discover the deep, dark terror that have slaughtered many nerubians and dwarves... the Faceless Ones. They would fight their way through these minions of the Old God, and even fight a far larger creature called a Forgotten One (speculated to be a part, or a minion, of Yogg-Saron). The blood of Yogg-Saron would seep into the soil of Northrend, creating an unnaturally powerful ore called Saronite -- the substance with which the Lich King's armour, as well as Icecrown Citadel itself, is constructed.

Players travelling through Whisper Gulch, Ahn'kahet, Ymirheim Saronite Mines and Ulduar can listen to whispers of Yogg-Saron (some of which are shared with C'Thun). An ancient artifact known as the Puzzle Box of Yogg-Saron also exists, found by archaeologists in Cataclysm, who would whisper cryptic phrases and warnings whenever one attempts to solve it.

It was in Wrath of the Lich King that Ulduar would be excavated by the Explorer's League, and the extent of Yogg-Saron's corruption is known. Adventurers from the Alliance and the Horde had to enter it and free the titans from Yogg-Saron's control, and after fighting through Ulduar, would come face-to-face to what seemed to be a vrykul woman, Sara, who aided them... only for Sara to reveal herself to be an avatar of Yogg-Saron himself. Yogg-Saron's fight takes many parts as adventurers are forced to do battle with the Old God's numerous appendages, culminating with going into the Old God's brain and slaying him.

In Legion, when Brann Bronzebeard and Khadgar returned to Ulduar, saronite vapours would flood Ulduar's antechamber and faceless ones would attack them as what appeared to Yogg-Saron whispered to them, hinting that perhaps the Old God was not entirely dead after all.

Y'Shaarj, Rage Unbound:

"You should kill them all. You MUST kill them all..."

Y'Shaarj (YAH-sha-raj... I know, it doesn't fit the spelling, but do not think your mortal tongues and alphabets can properly capture an Old God's name!) is the mightiest and the most cruel of the Old Gods, and in the days of the Black Empire, Y'Shaarj controlled the most territory of the four Old Gods. Y'Shaarj's true scale is unknown, and he is often known as the "God of Seven Heads", "the Black Goat with Seven Eyes" or "Beast of Seven Heads". It is very possible that the picture of Y'Shaarj depicted in Hearthstone is merely a depiction of one of his seven heads, and the true scale of his body is yet to be seen. It does seem to be extrapolated from the models of the Prime Sha from WoW. While Y'Shaarj is mentioned and central to the plot of Mists of Pandaria, the only thing we saw of him is his heart and murals.

Y'Shaarj, mightiest of the Old Gods, was also the first to be slain, ripped off the face of Azeroth by the titan Aman'Thul. Yet even dying did not stop Y'Shaarj from influencing and corrupting Azeroth millennia into the future. Where he once lay ruptured Azeroth itself and created the World of Eternity, where the essence of Azeroth itself bled out. Y'Shaarj's last cry leveled mountains and killed many titanforged. His heart was imprisoned in a vault beneath the Vale of Eternal Blossoms in Pandaria, and the last of its terrible 'breath' manifested into seven prime Sha (Anger, Hatred, Violence, Fear, Doubt, Despair and Pride). The Sha are shadowy creatures that get stronger from negative emotions, which explained why Pandaria was so focused on tranquility and inner peace, for any increase in negative emotion would make the Sha even stronger. Y'Shaarj's old minions, the mantid race, also fervently still worship the dead Old God and long for his return.

One of the seven Prime Sha.
The remnants of Y'Shaarj was what caused the majority of the plot that drove the Mists of Pandaria expansion, with both the mantid and the sha -- the latter unleashed by the arrival of the Alliance/Horde conflict onto the shores of Pandaria -- being major antagonists. Y'Shaarj's greatest influence is perhaps the usage of his heart by the war-hungry warchief of the Horde, Garrosh Hellscream, who excavated the Vale of Eternal Blossoms and unearthed Y'Shaarj's ancient heart. Meanwhile, the members of the Pandaren race would scramble alongside the forces of Alliance and the Horde to slay these Prime Sha. Garrosh would throw the Heart of Y'Shaarj into the pools of Pandaria, completely obliterating the Vale of Eternal Blossoms and corrupting it, and allowing Garrosh to have access to a thankfully small amount of the Old God's immense power... but even then, that amount of power is enough to give Garrosh a fighting chance against both the Alliance and the Horde. As Garrosh was felled, the Heart began to dissipate, and one last fading breath escaped from the Heart before fading from existence. Thus Y'Shaarj is presumed to be the Old God that is the most definitely dead at this point.

Y'Shaarj would whisper to adventurers during the Siege of Orgrimmar, as well as if they picked up Xal'atoh, the desecrated copy of Gorehowl created by the Heart of Y'Shaarj. Several of his lines in Hearthstone ("Gorge your hatred", "embrace your rage" and "I taste fear") are taken from the whispers from the blade.
_______________________________

Minions of The Old Gods:

Several races, like the Faceless Ones, the Qiraji and the Silithid are races that spawned off of and serve the Old Gods fanatically, serving only to herald their doom. These legendaries are particularly powerful ones among those races.

Herald Volazj:

Herald Volazj (WoW)
One of the main races that serve the Old Gods are the Faceless Ones, known as N'raqi in their language. We'll talk more about them later in the non-legendaries section, but Herald Volazj was first introduced in Wrath of the Lich King, and used the 'eyeless' model of the Faceless Ones.  Herald Volazj was the final boss in the dungeon of Ahn'kahet, the Old Kingdom. Part of why the nerubian empire of Azjol-Nerub fell prior to the Third War was because while fighting the undead Scourge, the nerubians attempted to escape by tunneling deeper into the ground... and awakened something that should not be awakened, the Faceless Ones. The Faceless Ones would cause the nerubians to be caught in a war of two fronts, and once they are awakened, they will not go to sleep again.

The Old God buried in Northrend was Yogg-Saron, and he would send his Faceless Ones to cull the nerubians. Alongside members of the Twilight's Hammer cult, Herald Volazj leads the Old Gods' forces to take back the nerubian city of Ahn'kahet from both the Scourge and the living nerubians, and is the final boss they fight there. The adventurers would face against Volazj, who still proclaims doom for all they defeated was a mere herald of an Old God. While he speaks in the language of the Old Gods, one of the translated lines ("Gaze into the void") is re-dubbed in english and used for Volazj's summon quote. Volazj's effect presumably is a representation of his WoW counterpart's ability Insanity, which forces all of the adventurers to hallucinate twisted doppelgangers of their allies and are trapped in insanity until they kill all of these Twisted Visages.

Soggoth the Slitherer:

The mighty Soggoth the Slitherer, also known as the Slithering One, was a particularly gigantic Faceless One that serves the Old Gods. In the many battles in the past, Soggoth was one of the Old Gods' mightiest servants, and it took twelve Titan-allied stone giants led by Kronn to finally slay Soggoth, and it costed those stone giants their lives. Soggoth's massive remains, with Kronn's blade still embedded in it, could be found in the Master's Glaive in Darkshore.

Soggoth's remains (note the little dots representing normal-
sized humanoids below)
In Cataclysm, the Twilight's Hammer Cult attempted to resurrect the mighty Soggoth. Alliance adventurers sought to prevent this mighty beast from taking form once more, and after investigating the runes that told the story of Soggoth and Kronn with the Explorer's Guild, would slay the Twilight's Hammer cultists and the naga that were aiding them. Alliance adventurers would also call the aid of ancients of the forest to fight against Soggoth's minions, including the n'raqi Yoth'al the Devourer who were corrupting nearby beasts. Still, the Twilight's Hammer cult still managed to resurrect an Avatar of Soggoth, as well as multiple smaller Spawn of Soggoth, which the adventurer would need to slay. The Avatar of Soggoth uses the model of the 'aquatic' variant of the Faceless One, although the Hearthstone card art chose to instead use Soggoth's distinctive remains in the Master's Glaive and use it as the face. It's never confirmed which of the four Old Gods Soggoth served -- the location where he falls seems to imply C'Thun, but the murals on Darkshore resemble those seen in temples of Y'Shaarj, and whether this is just model reusal or hinting at a connection is unclear. (Soggoth's name is, of course, a reference to the Shoggoths, eldritch abominations found in the Cthulhu mythos that the Old Gods take great inspirations from.)

Shifter Zerus:

Shifter Zerus is a character original to Hearthstone, and seems to represent a juvenile version of a Faceless One, something that has never been before represented in World of Warcraft. Obviously, no real lore behind Shifter Zerus. While in Legion a demon character called Jailer Zerus appeared, he's a demon and most certainly is not related to this adorable little squidface. 

Twin Emperors Vek'lor & Vek'nilash:

The twin emperors Vek'lor and Vek'nilash are poowerful brothers and the rulers of the insectoid Qiraji race that lived within Ahn'Qiraj. The Qiraji are descended from the ancient aqir race that were spawned by the Old Gods, and the Qiraji are humanoid insects that take many form -- four body shapes have been documented: the gladiator, the battleguard, the prophet and the emperor. The Qiraji rule over vast swarms of the insectoid race known as the Silithid, which are nowhere as intelligent as the Qiraji. The Silithid themselves also come in numerous variations (which we'll cover below with Huhuran). Both the Qiraji and the Silithid rule over the zone of Silithus, and they took over the temple of Ahn'Qiraj, where their ancient master, the Old God C'Thun, lay slumbering, imprisoned by the Titans. The Qiraji would wage battle against the bronze dragonflight and the night elves in the War of the Shifting Sands, until they were sealed behind the Scarab Wall by both forces. In World of Warcraft, the wall would be opened, and the Qiraji would retreat within Ahn'Qiraj. Adventurers would journey into Ahn'Qiraj and slaughter the many leaders of both the Qiraji and the Silithid, and the Twin Emperors would wait in their chamber, the third-to-last boss of the raid.
Vek'lor

Vek'lor and Vek'nilash are completely devoted to their dread master C'Thun, and serve his every command. During the War of the Shifting Sands, under C'Thun's orders, Vek'lor would create the mighty obsidian destroyers, following C'Thun's orders to the letter. Vek'nilash would also empower the mighty anubisath Ossirian, turning him into a mighty Horusath. The two Emperors in WoW is a relatively unique boss fight because they have a shared health pool, but have different skills. Vek'nilash is a close-quarters battler, while Vek'lor would cast powerful spells upon the raid. The Twin Emperors would eventually fall, opening the way for the raid to descend deeper into Ahn'Qiraj and eventually to meet the Old God C'Thun. Their quotes in Hearthstone are similar to their quotes in the WoW boss fight.

Princess Huhuran:

Princess Huhuran is a Silithid, which is a race of giant insects. Not insect-people like the Qiraji, just insects. Again, like the Qiraji, we'll talk more when we reach the non-legendaries, but there are many types of Silithid out there, and Princess Huhuran is a Silithid Wasp, which, as you guessed it, looks like a wasp. If wasps have gigantic sickle claws, is the size of a truck and have claws that can bite people's heads off. Other common Silithid variants are the queen, the reaver, the scarab, the worker and the swarmer. (Ant queen, spiky ant, beetle, scorpion and spider respectively in layman's terms) While some Silithid seem to be more intelligent than others, they are completely subservient to the Qiraji.

Princess Huhuran is the sixth boss in the raid Temple of Ahn'Qiraj, the temple where C'Thun is sealed and has since been overran by the Silithid and their Qiraji masters. She's apparently remarkable for a boss fight due to the fact that fighting her requires a high amount of nature resistance. Huhuran in Hearthstone was given a cute little crown on her head because she's a princess, goddamn it! Silithid mostly don't actually speak in WoW and Huhuran is no exception, but, again, the Hearthstone team has elected to give her voice lines.

Xaril, the Poisoned Mind:

Xaril the Poisoned Mind (Hearthstone omits 'the' due to length problems) is a member of the Mantid race, a race of, well, mantis-people who lived on the island of Pandaria. The Mantid were descended from the ancient Aqir race that were spawned by the Old Gods when they reigned on Azeroth, and other Aqir offshoots would include neruians and the silithid/qiraji. The mantid have a rather odd culture where every hundred years, in what is known as the mantid cycle,   the swarm would assault the great wall constructed by the Pandaren in an exercise to cull the weak, and the strongest and mightiest of the champions would be preserved in amber at the height of their strength, putting them into stasis until such time that the power of these great warriors would be required. These preserved champions are known as the Paragons, and are maintained by the elders of the mantid race, the Klaxxi. The locations of these mighty paragons are kept secret, and only the entire Klaxxi council together have enough power to locate the paragons.

Xaril (WoW)
By the time of Mists of Pandaria, there are only nine surviving Paragons left. The Klaxxi council saw that the reign of the current mantid queen, Empress Shek'zeer, to be too brash. The Mantid Empress was corrupted by the influence of the Sha of Fear, and due to this influence she ordered the entire mantid swarm to attack Pandaria's wall before the cycle's time is completed, which would cripple the mantid race in subsequent cycles. Knowing that the Empress needed to be dealt with for the good of their race, the Klaxxi council contacted adventurers of both Alliance and Horde to aid them in reawakening the Klaxxi Paragons (who recognizes the adventurer as their 'Wakener'), and subsequently slay the corrupted Empress and her enforcers.

Xaril the Poisoned Mind was one of the nine paragons, and is based on Klaxxi'vess. He was chosen as a paragon due to his unmatched skills in alchemy and poison-making, and would give out quests to adventurers in order to help further the agendas of the Klaxxi in moving against the greater mantid empire. Xaril was one of the few members of the paragon who actually knew Empress Shek'zeer, and he condemned the empress due to her intense paranoia even before the Sha of Fear's influencce. While the Klaxxi and the Paragons aided adventurers in bringing down Grand Empress Shek'zeer, they also noted that this does not mean that the Klaxxi are allies to the living, for when their true master Y'Shaarj awakens from death, they would immediately follow him.

This would prove true when Garrosh Hellscream claimed the Heart of Y'Shaarj and started channeling the dead Old God's powers, and the nine paragons of the Klaxxi bowed to Garrosh's will. The nine Klaxxi Paragons are the penultimate fight in the Siege of Orgrimmar, barring the way to Garrosh Hellscream's chamber. The paragons are faced three at a time, and whenever one of the three falls, one of the remaining paragons would come in and join the battle. Xaril would fall alongside his eight other brethren, slain by the same Wakener that brought him back to life. Xaril's poisons in Hearthstone (Bloodthistle, Briarthorn, Fadeleaf, Firebloom and Kingsblood) are all based on the name of herbs that are part of the herbalism profession in World of Warcraft. In the WoW boss fight Xaril's poisons aren't named. Xaril's summon quote is taken verbatim from his WoW boss fight.

The Boogeymonster:

The Boogeymonster is a Hearthstone-original creature that seems to be some sort of plant-based lifeform similar to the race known as the mistlurkers (see the Cyclopian Horror for a more conventional mistlurker) that lives in Pandaria. Presumably the Boogeymonster has been corrupted by an Old God which explains his mutated form.
________________________________

Other Characters:

Other characters that appear as legendaries are characters with some tie or other to the Old Gods (Anomalus aside), but have enough lore before they become minions of the Old Gods so I'll separate them from the Qiraji and the Faceless Ones.

Fandral Staghelm:


The story of Fandral Staghelm is a long and tragic one, steeped deep in Old God manipulation. Fandral was a powerful night elf druid, and a very talented one, even reaching the rank of archdruid. He was pompous and prideful, but ultimately well-meaning for the good of the night elven race. Fandral bore himself a son, Valstann, who he loved more than anything. Around 4500 years before the First War, in an act of to purify the corrupted beasts in Northrend, Fandral, independent of the other druids, took branches from the World Tree Nordrassil, and planted them in several places in the world, which were corrupted with saronite -- the blood of the Old God Yogg-Saron. The rest of the druids became furious with Fandral when knowing this, but were mollified when Andrasssil rose high above Northrend. Yet Andrassil, which was not blessed by the dragon aspects the way that Nordrassil was, would be corrupted by Yogg-Saron, spreading hatred and bloodshed everywhere, and the world tree was so foul and corrupted that the druids had no choice but to cut it down. Andrassil would be cut down, and forever be known as Vordrassil, "Broken Crown". Unbeknownst to anyone, Yogg-Saron's touch of Andrassil had allowed him to create what would become the Emerald Nightmare, something that would have world-shattering consequences thousands of years down the line.

Around 1000 years before the First War, Fandral would spearhead the battle in the War of the Shifting Sands against the Qiraji (see C'Thun and Vek'lor's section above). Fandral and his son Valstann would be instrumental in leading the war, and Fandral's prowess in combat was so fierce that even the Qiraji gave him a name: Kar'sis, or Hand of Earth. The Twin Emperors of the Qiraji ordered a powerful Qiraji, General Rajaxx, to 'break' Fandral, and he managed to do this by creating diversionary attacks on night elven villages, which allowed the Qiraji to capture Valstann. Before Fandral's eyes, Rajaxx would brutally rip his beloved son in half. This utterly broke Fandral, and the leadership of the night elves crumbled and they would've fallen had it not been for the aid of the other dragons. While the Qiraji would eventually be sealed within Ahn'Qiraj, Fandral was still broken, and he smashed the Scepter of the Shifting Sand, an artifact that could open the Scarab Wall, and shattered it.

Fandral's actions between then and the end of the Third War is unknown, but it is known that when the world tree Nordrassil was destroyed in the Third War, and with it the night elves' immortality, Fandral would take over leadership of the druids when Malfurion fell into a deep coma. Prior to World of Warcraft, Fandral would plant a new world tree -- something that Malfurion had warned against. Fandral created the new world tree Teldrassil. However, this act of self-interest disgusted the dragon aspects, who, once more, refused to bless the tree. Teldrassil still served as the main hub of night elven society, however. Teldrassil did not give the night elves their immortality back, and signs of corruption began to show within Teldrassil as other creatures that lived there began to succumb to corruption. Fandral would continue to act as leader of the Cenarion Circle, and very often clashed in opinions with Tyrande Whisperwind, the high priestess of Elune and nominal leader of the night elven people. Fandral in particular championed for a more aggressive stance against the orcs, and was disgusted at the idea of tauren druids joining the Cenarion Circle.

Majordomo Staghelm

Throughout World of Warcraft, Fandral would act as a quest giver that would ask Alliance adventurers to assist him to obtain soil samples from Un'Goro crater. It would later be revealed that the corruption of Teldrassil was caused by Fandral, who was an unwitting pawn of the Nightmare Lord Xavius -- who himself was also responsible for capturing Malfurion within the Emerald Nightmare. Xavius appeared to Fandral in the guise of his dead son, and Fandral was puppeteered into tricking many other druids to feed their power to 'heal' Teldrassil, when in fact they were only making the Emerald Nightmare stronger. Fandral's inability to reconcile his son being a delusion shattered his mind, and he was taken to Moonglade, where he was imprisoned and simultaneously helped to recover.

In Cataclysm, Fandral's granddaughter Astaria would be murdered by a brutal orc attack on Ashenvale. Shortly afterwards, the forces of Ragnaros the Firelord would besiege Mt. Hyjal, and Fandral would be kidnapped by agents of Ragnaros into the hands of the Twilight's Hammer Cult. The knowledge of the death of his granddaughter -- the only living link he has to Vasltann -- jolted Fandral back into sanity, and he was consumed with nothing but anger and the desire of revenge. Fandral would be joined by his daughter-in-law Leyara, and the two together would create a new order of druids serving Ragnaros, the Druids of the Flame. Fandral's zeal and dedication earned him the title of Majordomo, one of the mightiest servants of the Firelord himself, and Fandral would display his new powers, attacking Thrall and shattering his bonds with the elements. Fandral would later be found as the penultimate boss in the Firelands raid, making his last stand there, completely consumed by his anger. Fandral's quotes, "behold the rage of the Firelands" and "nothing but ash" are taken from his Firelands boss encounter.

Cho'gall:


The ogre mage Cho'gall began life as a simple ogre of Highmaul. While stories differ on whether he was a rare ogre born with two heads, or that he would gain his second head due to the machinations of the warlock Gul'dan, it was clear that Cho'gall was no simple brute of an ogre, and possessed a cunning that was beyond many of his peers. Cho'gall would be driven out of Highmaul due to his powerful talents and capacity for arcane magic, and he would end up meeting the orc warlock Gul'dan. Gul'dan would take Cho'gall under his wing as his apprentice, teaching him about fel magic and the existence of the Burning Legion. At one point, Cho'gall was sent to investigate a group of exiled orcs known as the Pale, who worshiped the powers of the Void. Cho'gall would learn the powerful shadow magic there, fooling the Pale with stories of how the Horde could be the instrument with which they would bring the prophecied Hour of Twilight. With these orcs, Cho'gall would form a new clan, the Twilight's Hammer Clan. At this point, Cho'gall would also lead a campaign to destroy the ogres of Highmaul and personally murder the ones who had exiled him.

In the First War, Cho'gall would gain the respect of many members of the Old Horde despite being an ogre, and would participate in several battles against the humans of Stormwind. It was during the First War that the Twilight's Hammer clan would hear the voices and whispers of the Old Gods beneath Azeroth, who vindicated their worship of shadow magic and doomsaying. But Cho'gall continued to lead the Twilight's Hammer in waging war, for they needed to keep up appearances, while they secretly worshipped the Old Gods. Cho'gall was also the reason that the orcs were allowed to stay on Blackrock Mountain, having secretly made a deal with Ragnaros and his minions -- both of them served the Old Gods, and thus had nothing to fear from each other.

Cho'gall's first actual appearance in the games would be in Warcraft II, where he was established as Gul'dan's right-hand-man, a fanatical cult leader who was obsessed with bringing about the apocalypse. Cho'gall would aid Gul'dan in the creation of the Horde's Death Knights, as well as the transformation of ogres into two-headed ogre magi. Cho'gall would also be involved in a battle in Grim Batol, slaughtering Stormgarde warriors that attempted to ambush them. When the Stormreaver and Twilight's Hammer clans abandoned the Horde during the eve of their attack on Stormwind, Cho'gall would face off against the rest of the vengeful Horde. He did not enter the Tomb of Sargeras with Gul'dan (and as such was spared the death that his master faced within) and faced against Rend and Maim Blackhand outside the tomb. Cho'gall and the Twilight's Hammer were presumed dead, but in reality they survived, though Cho'gall's chest would be forever scarred from the rending and maiming that Rend and Maim did.

Some time later, during World of Warcraft, the Twilight's Hammer would be fully established as a cult worshiping the Old Gods and not just a simple orc tribe. Cho'gall would attempt to resurrect the fallen C'Thun at one point, manipulating Gul'dan's old servant Garona and attempting to sacrifice the son of Medivh, Med'an, to bring C'Thun back to life, but a group of mages and the rogue Valeera Sanguinar would foil his plans. Cho'gall would be warped by the remnants of C'Thun into a more monstrous form, but he would be defeated and, once more, presumed dead. Cho'gall and the Twilight's Hammer would also be successful in staging attacks that caused the Alliance and Horde to blame the other, further straining the relationship between the two factions.

Cho'gall (Cataclysm). Note the normal ogres around him

In Wrath of the Lich King, it's revealed that Cho'gall is still alive, and still spreading the Twilight's Hammer's influence everywhere. Prior to the Cataclsym, Cho'gall would command multiple elementals and send them to attack Horde and Alliance capital cities, and would have an alliance with the earth elemental Crown Princess Theradras. He would continue influence the other operations of the Twilight's Hammer, and he would in particular be responsible for attempting to conquer the Twilight Highlands and create a full standing army of cultists for Deathwing. Cho'gall would enslave hundreds of elementals, send assassins to kill the leaders of the Alliance and Horde, summoned corrupted elementium tendrils from the ground and summoned a gigantic Forgotten One called Iso'rath to the surface. The attempted assassination on Varian and Garrosh would enrage both leaders so much that the Alliance and Horde began to take the war to the Twilight's Hammer in earnest. Cho'gall would be fought as what appeared to be the final boss of the Bastion of Twilight, where adventurers would slay the last of the Twilight's Hammer ascendants, and eventually reach Cho'gall. Fighting with his Hammer, as well as summoning the powers of the Old Gods to aid him, Cho'gall would fight valiantly but would fail to stop the heroes of the Alliance and Horde, and would ultimately fall, but not before destroying the floor and sending the heroes down to battle Sinestra, primary consort to Deathwing, and the true master of the Bastion of Twilight. Cho'gall would be survived as the leader of the Twilight's Hammer cult by the Twilight Father, Benedictus.

Cho'gall's two heads, Cho and Gall, are relatively unique among two-headed ogres in that they speak independently of each other, with Cho being far more intelligent and well-spoken, while Gall being more stupid, more crazy and fanatical. Cho and Gall have long conversations with each other with far more independence than what is displayed by normal ogre mages. Cho'gall's quotes in Hearthstone is taken verbatim from his boss fight encounter in Cataclysm.

Hallazeal the Ascended:

Hallazeal (WoW)

During Cataclysm, members of the Twilight's Hammer Cult that worshipped the Old Gods (and served Deathwing) spread all over Azeroth and summoned large armies of elementals into Azeroth. Some high-ranking cultists at this point underwent a ritual called 'ascension', transforming them into full elementals. The elemental ascendants are ruled by the Ascendant Council, a quartet of elemental ascendants, each mastering one of the four primary elements. The process of ascension as done by the Twilight's Council involves horrifying draining of the powers  of the elements (in Legion, some members of the Earthen Ring would temporarily become ascendants with the help of the elemental spirits).

Hallazeal the Ascended was one of these elemental ascendants, and led an army of Twilight's Hammer cultists to drain the ancient being L'ghorek that resided within the Abyssal Depths, the elemental plane of water. L'ghorek is a giant shelled octopus thing that appears to be allied with Neptulon, and the ancient being sought the aid of adventurers to help rid the Twilight's Hammer cult that were draining its power. Hallazeal would use the power from L'ghorek to transform other cultists into elemental ascendants, sending them to do battle against the forces of Neptulon the Tidehunter. After a short quest chain, adventureres would venture within the dying L'ghorek itself and slay the mighty Hallazeal the Ascended.

Malkorok:

Malkorok (Mists of Pandaria)
Malkorok first appeared in the Mists of Pandaria expansion, an orc with ashen-gray skin that was once part of the Blackrock clan that joined Rend Blackhand in forming the Dark Horde, a group of orcs loyal to the black dragon Nefarian. When Garrosh Hellscream became leader of the Horde, Malkorok would renounce his ties to the Blackrock clan, and join Garrosh. The inclusion of the former Blackrock orcs into the Horde and the unconditional pardoning of their sins was one of the things that Garrosh did which the other Horde leaders found displeasing, and Malkorok proved to share Garrosh's radical ideas about how the Horde should expand and conquer all of Azeroth -- and of orcish superiority. Malkorok in particular would find himself quickly promoted into the ranks of the Kor'kron, a group of bodyguards that answer only to Garrosh and Garrosh alone. Malkorok would be Garrosh's most vocal supporter, openly threatening death whenever other leaders such as Lor'themar Theron, Vol'jin or Baine Bloodhoof dared question the warchief. Malkorok and the Kor'kron would become one of Garrosh's biggest enforcers, abducting and beating up not just Horde members, but even orcs, who dared to speak up against Garrosh Hellscream. Malkorok would be by Garrosh's side when Theramore was blown to smithereens by the mana bomb, and one of the few high-ranking members of the Horde who howled in joy at the destruction of their enemy. During the Theramore incident, however, various members of the Horde expressed discontentment with the direction that the Horde is going, and Malkorok would confront these other Horde leaders. Malkorok would lead the Kor'kron forces to Razor Hill, and would murder Kelantir Bloodblade and Frandis Farley -- loyal members of the blood elves and the forsaken who had attended the meeting that spoke out against Garrosh, blowing up a tavern with explosives in the process.

Throughout Mists of Pandaria, Malkorok would be the most vocal of Garrosh's bodyguards, and would accompany Garrosh as he headed to obtain the Divine Bell, as well as when Garrosh obtained the Heart of Y'Shaarj. Malkorok was also indirectly responsible for causing the Bilgewater goblins to side with Vol'jin against Garrosh, refusing to pay the goblins the money they were due for helping to excavate the powerful artifact and threatening to strangle Gallywix's agents. Things would escalate to the point that nearly the entirety of the Horde would face off against Garrosh and his radicals. When Garrosh used the Heart of Y'Shaarj to empower himself, he needed a volunteer to infuse the power of the dead Old God into, and Malkorok would offer himself without hesitation. Malkorok would thus be mutated into a huge, hulking orc, with spikes running throughout his back and arms, as well as having his right arm replaced with a huge blade. It is this Old God infused form that Malkorok is depicted in Hearthstone. Malkorok is the ninth boss in the Siege of Orgrimmar raid, taking over the defense of Orgrimmar after the death of Nazgrim. Despite his fierce dedication to Garrosh and the new power-up he got, Malkorok was ultimately slain. Both of Malkorok's lines in Hearthstone, "the True Horde cannot be stopped" and "Weaklings!" are lines that he says during his WoW boss fight when using his skills. 

Anomalus:

Anomalus (WoW)
Anomalus is a bit of an... anomaly (ha!) among the legendaries introduced in Whispers of the Old Gods. While most of the legendaries are minions of the Old Gods in one way or another, Anomalus actually isn't. Anomalus is a humongous arcane elemental (we covered those here) that is found in the Nexus dungeon, lair of the crazed blue dragon aspect Malygos. Anomalus is the second (third in heroic) boss in the Nexus, and he is the mightiest among the arcane elementals created from the huge amount of arcane energy that was redirected by Malygos into his lair. If left unchecked, Anomalus will unmake everything it can touch. Malygos ends up using Anomalus as a guard to the Nexus as well as the red dragon prisoner Keristrasza. However, Anomalus has seemed to go out of control by the time the Alliance and Horde heroes arrived at the Nexus, because he's tearing rifts in reality, and sending his lesser arcane elemental minions to attack the blue dragonflight. Anomalus's quotes, "chaos beckons", "reality unwoven" and "expiration" (properly "expiration is necessary") are all taken from quotes he speaks in the WoW boss fight. So, yeah... not really any connection to the Old Gods at all.

Click the break for a mini-gallery of the "twisted" old legendaries.

Gotham S04E11 Mini-Review: End of an Era

Gotham, Season 4, Episode 11: Queen Takes Knight


"Queen Takes Knight" is the finale for the 'Dark Knight' half-season of Gotham's fourth season, and it's honestly treating itself like a season of its own, the way that the two halves of the second and third seasons of Gotham do. It's a model that I really wished more TV shows would do, because it makes the mid-season finale an actual status quo shaker as opposed to just a cliffhanger that has to go big even though the narrative might not need it (the CW shows are the biggest offenders of trying to make their mid-season finales far bigger deals than they really are). 

So yeah. This episode opens with a bit of a montage of Penguin and Sofia's forces fighting each other, because apparently Sofia Falcone's name does still command a lot of respect throughout the streets. What initially seemed to be a lead-up to a simple gang war to end the season gets caught in a snag when Penguin calls daddy Carmine Falcone to show up to bring Sofia home. Barbara, Tabitha and Selina end up getting somewhat reduced to Sofia's heavies, but Barbara in particular has an amazing time chewing scenery in this episode. (Tabitha has a really weird subplot about her trying to get Grundy to remember that he's Butch that really has no place in this episode with everything else that's more interesting going on). 

Falcone tries to bring Sofia home, because she has failed and disgraced the Falcone name -- chiefly for sleeping with Jim Gordon and using too much duplicity and backstabbing as opposed to the honourable mob boss that Don Falcone is. And knowing what we do about Falcone in the first two seasons of Gotham, it's definitely accurate. Unfortunately, a hit squad shows up and kills Falcone and shoots Sofia...

Which leads to the catalyst to the big event. Penguin claims to not have killed Falcone, and that funeral is touching and at the same time really tense because, shit, the audience is definitely geared towards suspecting the Penguin for being behind it. Of course, it's revealed later that Sofia Falcone is behind everything -- including, apparently, being the person that Mr. Zsasz is loyal to throughout the entirety of the season, because Sofia is a Falcone. I'm not sure if Zsasz knew that Sofia killed Carmine, but Zsasz's face of heartbroken-ness when he sees Falcone's dead body... while still looking like an emancipated corpse... that's some really great acting. 

We also learn that Sofia is also behind hiring Lazlo Valentin and sending him to terrorize Gotham City as Professor Pyg. It somewhat explains the Pyg's more outlandish antics, although it does take away, somewhat, from the whole 'the police has failed the city' motivations in lieu of that revelation. It's still a neat twist, even if Pyg ends up getting killed off and set up as the fall man for the whole mess. There's the oddity that both Sofia and Bullock insist that every single bad thing that has happened this season -- even the cops that Pyg killed -- are all the direct result of Gordon bringing in Sofia to end the pax penguina... but it's really a bit far-fetched. Still, everything else in the finale really worked for the better in my opinion, so there's that.

The Penguin is also arrested for the alleged murder of Martin -- and since only Zsasz knows where Martin is, and Zsasz is angry for Penguin's seeming murder of Carmine Falcone, Zsasz sets up Penguin to fall and even agrees to testify. Penguin is thrown in jail... and apparently is going to team up with Jerome fucking Valeska, a.k.a. the Joker. Yeah!

The Bruce/Alfred storyline is one that can perhaps be annoying, but I understand where they're going with it. Bruce sending Alfred away is pretty heartbreaking, but it does make sense for Bruce, who's acting out and being a little twat, to push everyone away from him. It's kind of a Batman thing to do, except he's doing it by banging girls and drinking booze as opposed to running around and refusing aid from his sidekicks. 

The Grundy subplot and Nygma finally seeing Riddler in hallucinations again are both not that interesting, but it's still well-acted and decent enough to not distract from the finale. Overall, a pretty decent and eventful finale that closes out perhaps one of my favourite seasons of Gotham, and one that promises a far more explosive half-season this year. 

Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Gotham S04E10 Mini-Review: Car Bombs

Gotham, Season 4, Episode 11: Things that Go Boom


One of the things that got lost in all the shuffle of late 2017 is Gotham, a series that I watched and love for all its warts... but I've simply completely forgotten to review. 

This episode is... far more of a setup for the next episode. Gordon doesn't actually do much in this episode other than discover the real identity of Professor Pyg -- Lazlo Valentin (his comic-book alter-ego), a murderer with a southern accent, and he has changed his face and has metal plates implanted in his face. It's not particularly an important detail, to be honest, and serves more to keep Gordon busy for the episode. 

The episode's main focus hinges more around Penguin, Sofia and the Lady Gang of Selina, Barbara and Tabitha. And there's definitely a great callback to the first season. Penguin, now convinced that Sofia is a traitor, hands her over to 'the Dentist', one of Gotham City's inexhaustible psychopaths. Sofia, meanwhile, is exactly where she wants to be, knowing that the Dentist is the only person in Penguin's repertoire that's a sadistic torturer, and blackmails the Dentist as she goes onto finally putting her full touches on her war on the Penguin. She gets captured by the Lady Gang, however, who wants to use her as leverage for Penguin, only to discover that Sofia wants to team up with them instead... it's a lot of fun backstabbing and second-guessing, even if it's not as well-paced as it should be. Perhaps the biggest problem is Sofia's far more unfocused plans, and at times (especially when she's held by Barbara's gang) she feels a bit of a Villain Sue at times.

They end up kidnapping Martin, who then seemed to be Penguin's weak point... and Oswald brings him to his car... and blows Martin up! It's not wholly unexpected because despite their friendship I've always banked on Oswald being a heartless son of a bitch when it comes to betrayal. Hell, the revelation that Penguin actually had Zsasz hide Martin away from the car is far more surprising than Penguin killing Martin. Robin Lord Taylor's an amazing actor, though, and all his mannerisms in this episode is just so much fun. 

Also thrown into the mix -- Sofia trying to get Gordon to bring the wrath of the GCPD to oust Penguin, thus putting Sofia Falcone as the mob boss that controls both the biggest criminal organization and the police. Of course, Gordon being Gordon, he decides to... make a deal with Penguin to get rid of Sofia. Um. 

We also get a weird subplot with Thompkins and Riddler dealing with a rival gang boss, and Thompkins' attempt to play nice ends up getting her clinic trashed, so she decides to poison the rival, and only agree to give him the antidote if he kowtows to her. It's... an interesting dynamic, especially when Thompkins reveals that the Riddler's actually not sick, and it's all in his head, but it adds to the muddled B-plot bunch in the episode. 

Zsasz appears a lot in this episode, and it's fun! I've never appreciated just how much of a presence Mr. Zsasz has been in season four, and he's definitely a welcome one -- he's just so fun and happy, and as the next episode would reveal, he's actually plot-relevant too. He also gets to bazooka Barbara's gun shop, which is hilarious. 

Overall, though, it's still a bit of a weaker episode, and its function as a setup episode is painfully obvious. 

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

Marvel's Runaways S01E10 Review: Running Away At Last

Marvel's Runaways,  Season 1, Episode 10: Hostile


Ah, finally, we get the Runaways running away. This really should've happened in episode 2 or 3, to be honest, and we still could've had them doing all the buildup while incognito and on the run. The entirety of episodes 9 and 10 ends up being just a promise of "hey, we'll actually tell the story and stop setting up in the next season, okay?" We get a short climactic battle between the Runaways and the parents in the beginning, which after a few beam attacks and shooting the raptor (Old Lace!) with tranquilizer darts, ends up with a rainbow light-show battle between Jonah and Karolina, leading to the other Runaways running away.

The rest of the episode is just them forcing Recurring-Gibborim-Church-Dude to help them sneak in, break Karolina out, then decide what to do next... which, of course, is running away and becoming fugitives, as their parents put out a wanted ad for the kids, apparently they're framed for kidnapping Destiny. It's an amazing visual as they run away from the train station with the raptor trailing behind them, but there is a sense of annoyance and false premise since we don't actually get any real payoffs from anything that we've built up throughout the past 10 episodes.

Like, it's interesting that the Wilders, Yorkes-es and Minorus are starting to realize what's going on and trying to get back their lives from Jonah after discovering that Jonah seems to be digging down to some mysterious giant living alien/demon/cthulhu being underneath the ground and not a magic alien "alternative energy source" that'll make them filthy rich, and making an alliance with Leslie Dean is neat... but again, it's more for the future. And Leslie's revelation that she was behind killing the Hernandezes and Amy... and Tina's anguished hatred in that scene... really could've been done better.

And we also get the team-up between Karolina's two daddies, Jonah and Frank Dean, and Frank seems completely okay to be Jonah's new heavy, seduced by promises of power and everything, but Frank himself is such a cardboard cutout that I can't bring myself to care. Someone amongst the parents or kids is also in cahoots with Jonah, and there's a subplot between Alex teaming up with his father's old gangster friend, all of which feel absolutely dull and just another bunch of "ooo ominous foreshadowing" that ended up being more distraction than important plot point.

The scripting is often times awkward here, jumping clumsily from invigorating "no one gets left behind!" speeches almost immediately into "if it was you Chase we'd leave you, yuk yuk yuk" jokes without allowing the badass moments to properly take root. It's only the strength of the actors involved -- child and adult -- that really makes this finale not the trainwreck it would be in script format. We also get a particularly silly bit where Gert seems to send Old Lace away, only for it to immediately return in the final scene, which honestly leads me to question what the point of that whole emotional "see you when I see you" moment was supposed to be.

Overall, though, while I did enjoy myself through Runaways, the problems that plagued the series' earlier episodes ends up returning in such full force in these last two episodes that it's genuinely difficult to really stay positive. And it's frustrating -- they have a very talented cast and a relatively interesting plot, but the last few episodes end up bungling up the pacing and execution and while it's nowhere as horribly bland the way Inhumans is, it really needs to do much more to become the epic superhero story it could've been.

Monday, 22 January 2018

Gotta Review 'Em All, Part #1: Bulbasaur to Clefable

Welcome to where I review all the existing eight-hundred-and-counting Pokemon! I've been doing 'Pokemon of the Week' reviews for a while on-and-off now, and while they were fun, it was sometimes hard to talk about a Pokemon at random when I wanted to talk about... everything else. I also kind of want to talk about all the Pokemon at least once or twice, so let us just go in order of their national Pokedex number, from 1 all the way to... 803? 806? Wherever we are at now.

Note that Pokemon is interesting in that they really like to add pre-evolutions and evolutions and mega-evolutions and alternate forms for existing creatures in subsequent installments... but I'll be following the 'national dex' numbering and I will review when we get there. For alternate forms that debuted in a different 'generation', I will be reviewing them alongside the rest of the generation it debuts in. 


At the end of each generation I'll probably talk about the general feel and design philosophies of the generation as a whole. Also to note that... I'm not a very competitive player. It's extremely cool for all of the people who devote so much time to be competitive in Pokemon, and I respect all your dedication to breeding the perfect fighting monsters with perfect IV's and abilities and natures, but that's just not my thing. I dabbled in it when generation six made it very easy to EV-train Pokemon, but other than that my views on Pokemon is going to be almost entirely revolve around its visual and thematic design, its role as a creature in this fictional world, and how well it represents something from our real world.

I'm also someone who's been around since the early days of the Pokemania, so I do have an inordinate amount of love for the original 151... although I have a lot of favourites from the latter generations as well. A good chunk of my introduction to Pokemon stemmed not only from the games and the anime (of which I only watch regularly up until the first half of Johto, as well as the first season of Hoenn) but also from the Pokemon Adventures (or Pokemon Special, for Japanese-speakers) manga which I had a good chunk of copies of and read the fuck out of, which, of course, will influence how I view some species quite a bit.

My personal tastes will probably influence just how much I talk about a certain species. For one, I've always been in love with the strange, obscure and quirky bits of nature that Pokemon seem to really love adapting into creatures. I am a huge, huge fan of strange biological creatures like prehistoric creatures, the great world of arthropods and the denizens of the sea, so forgive me if I get a little bit... biological in some of my talks for these creatures. I also have the mentality of a five-year old, so my tastes go towards huge awesome dragons, giant sea serpents, cool wolves and quirky bug monsters more than I do... well, humanoid creatures, but that's the beauty of Pokemon. It's so varied that you have very differing characters from giant dragons to psychic knights to sludge monsters to little balloons with eyeballs to giant magnet UFOs, that somewhere, someone really love these guys. For every person that thinks Muk is a waste of space, there's a person who unironically likes them. (Me, that person is me.)

I will give rankings out of Pokeballs with a maximum of six (previously, between 2018 and 2022, the balls were out of five). Rankings will generally be given in regards to memorability, design concept, design execution, usage in the games, and... well, it's a subjective ranking but it's a ranking regardless. Here's a basic interpretation of my ratings:
  • : 6/6. One of my personal favourites, my babies, likely to have personal significance and most likely a party member at some point. Otherwise, it's generally just way too well-executed for me to say otherwise. 
  • : 5/6. I really like this thing. I really, really do find it aesthetically or thematically pleasing, just not as much as the 6/6 one. Perfectly awesome.
  • : 4/6. I like it, and it's usually a respectable attempt at a concept that perhaps just doesn't 'wow' me enough, but is still a very valid and neat looking creature.
  • : 3/6. Your average joe Pokemon. Mind that 3 is still above-average. Usually competent designs fall into this category. I still like this thing on paper, it's important for game variety, but catch me on a bad day and it might drop points. 
  • : 2/6. I am not fond of this thing, but its existence does not bother me. The important, all-encompassing bridge between 'indifference' and 'hate' is wide.
  • : 1/6. Me no like. The 'ugh' rating that makes me roll my eyes whenever I see one.
  • : 0/6. The zero rating is very, very special and are reserved for certain creatures that I absolutely loathe and wouldn't be sad at all if they are removed from the franchise. We'll burn the bridge when we get there.
Due to the long intro, and because I know I'll ramble since we're talking about the three Kanto starter lines, Pikachu and the starter bugs,  we're not going to do that many today.

So... enough introduction, and let us begin with #001!

#001-003: Bulbasaur, Ivysaur & Venusaur
  • Types: Grass/Poison [all three]
  • Japanese names: Fushigidane, Fushigiso, Fushigibana
  • Category: Seed Pokemon
So each of the Pokemon here will be accompanied by their official Ken Sugimori artwork, which is the 'official' standardized appearance of the Pokemon that the video games, trading card game, anime and manga all have to adhere to. I briefly debated putting sprites or 3D models, but decided this would visualize the Pokemon I'm talking about far more clearly than slightly-pixelated sprites.

Anyway, the very first evolutionary line is the Pokemon that, coincidentally, is the most near and dear to my heart -- Bulbasaur, Ivysaur and Venusaur. Alongside Charmander and Squirtle, Bulbasaur will form the original difficult choice for all trainers back in 1997. Which of these three will be your companion? It's an awesome bit that makes the journey personal for you. All three starters are more or less equal in strength, they just represent different 'elements', the three archetypal rock-paper-scissors of grass, fire and water. Because I was a dumb little kid, I wasn't really aware how to work with save files and played through the game multiple times with all three starters, but once I got the hang of it, Bulbasaur was my boy to go.

I'm not sure why I eventually decided on Bulbasaur. Maybe it's the one that Red has in Pokemon Adventures. Maybe it's that awesome episode in the cartoon with Bulbasaur and Solarbeam. Maybe young-me had a slight form of OCD and didn't want #001 in the Pokedex to be blank. Maybe because in Pokemon Blue, Bulbasaur is the only one whose sprite actually looks like the cartoon, with Charmander and Squirtle looking weirdly super-deformed. Maybe it's the simple naming suffix of -saur and before Pokemon, dinosaurs were the big thing in my childhood. Although note that none of the Bulbasaur family are named after dinosaurs in the original Japanese translations, and as we'll see later on, the first generation weren't particularly that keen on reflecting a lot of the original Japanese spirit.

Most of all, though, I've always thought that the evolutionary progression from Bulbasaur to Ivysaur to Venusaur felt the most organic and gradual. I'll talk about Charmander and Squirtle in their own sections, but the Bulbasaur line really made each form distinct while still making the change really feel gradual. You can easily tell that Bulbasaur, Ivysaur and Venusaur are all related to each other, but they are very different -- even if the flower is the thing that is the most attention grabbing, the main frog body is drawn differently too once you pay a bit more attention, which is very cool.


But Bulbasaur goes from the cutest cartoon toad with a little onion-like bulb on its head. He's a baby frog with big, cute eyes! And weird horn-ears! How can you not love him? And then he turns to Ivysaur, and he grows a pair of fangs. His eyes get a little meaner, his ears get a little more pronounced (which is completely against proper frog or dinosaurian anatomy, but hey), his legs look a little longer, but most starkingly, his bulb has opened to form four leaves and a flower bud sitting within. And then, he becomes the mighty Venusaur, and the flower blooms into this huge chunky tree-plant with a vague Rafflesia-esque look (we'll talk about the Rafflesia more when we reach Gloom and Vileplume) but I've always loved how Venusaur's body shape changed so much to look more toadlike, more... dinosaurian, so to speak. His face is a lot wider, and he certainly looks far more like a strange hybrid combination of a big fat warty toad, a dinosaur and some sources state that maybe Venusaur is based on the pre-dinosaurian creature the Dicynodont, but I personally don't see it. He's still pretty cool regardless, though, and the design just really screams that it's a true behemoth of the jungle, a slow-moving creature that knows that it is unchallenged in its territory.

There's just a very lovable sense of evolution from a small frog-bulb into a huge toad-dinosaur monster with a mini biome on its back. All the Pokedex entries and fictional appearances show the Bulbasaur family being very associated with the whole 'plants get stronger with the sun' thing. Solarbeam isn't exclusive to the Bulbasaur line by any means, but it's the thing that I associate with them. Oh, and the -saur line are always shown in the anime and manga to be able to conjure up all sorts of shit from their bulb or flower. Debilitating powders? A pair of tentacle-like whips? Spinning boomerang razor leaves? Yeah. I really love these three. Yes, Venusaur is an ugly-ass wart-frog with a pretty flower on top, but I've always loved how it looked. Charizard and Blastoise are cool as hell, but again, I've always loved how Pokemon always has a smattering of creatures to appeal to differing aesthetic feels, and I've always felt that Venusaur was the one.


As a couple of side-notes, Bulbasaur is the only dual-typed starter Pokemon for like two decades until Rowlet showed up in 2016. I'm not quite sure just why Bulbasaur was given Poison-type, because if I take away my 20-year ingrained knowledge that the Bulbasaur line is Grass/Poison and be completely honest... none of the Bulbasaur family look particularly poisonous. The first generation have some rather suspect typing among them, though, and among them Poison is one of the most common type to be handed around. I suspect Venusaur being part-Poison is why I really loved this underdog of types, though. Another side-note is that in the very first Pokemon game I played, Pokemon Blue, Ivysaur had its sprite standing on two legs... despite the Pokedex entry in the very same game going, and I quote, 'when the bulb on its back grows large, it appears to lose the ability to stand on its hind legs'. It's one of those oddities from the early Generation I games that was thankfully smoothed out and hidden under the rug with subsequent generations, because it'd ruin the whole 'seamless progression' thing that I tout out so much for Bulbasaur. Oh, and Venusaur, alongside his other Kanto-starter brethren, will get mega evolutions in the sixth generation, but we'll cover that... eventually.

So, for our first ranking: And, well, is it a surprise? A bit of a spoiler for the next two entries is that, well, unlike most people who vehemently treat their beloved starter like it's some sort of sports team competition, I've spent so much time with the Kanto starters, have played through so many games with all of them, that all three Kanto starters can't help but get very high ranks out out of me. I'm sorry. This is my personal review, and this is how I personally feel about them.

 5/5.

#004-006: Charmander, Charmeleon & Charizard
  • Types: Fire [Charmander & Charmeleon], Fire/Flying [Charizard]
  • Japanese names: Hitokage, Lizardo, Lizardon
  • Category: Lizard [Charmander], Flame [Charmeleon/Charizard]

Hoo boy, Charizard. Charmander was the one that all the cool kids picked. I mean, how can they not? A flower-dinosaur and a tank-tortoise were cool, sure, but what is this? A fire-breathing dragon? Holy shit! How can you just not love Charizard? Particularly because he's the only Kanto starter that Ash Ketchum evolves to fullness in the anime, and, well, Charizard in the anime was a gigantic dick, but he was a huge, fire-breathing dragon dick, which made him awesome.


And I'm not the sort of guy who feels some sort of moral superiority by being hipster and hating what everyone loves. And yeah, Charizard's became a mascot for Pokemon as much as Pikachu does, but that doesn't really mean it's a shitty design. No, Charizard is awesome too! I may prefer Venusaur because, y'know, personal starter love, but it's really hard not to love Charizard either. And while Bulbasaur may be the one named after dinosaurs in English, it's really the Charmander line that look more like cartoony theropods. You start off as Charmander, an orange little cartoon dinosaur with the most happy look on its face, and a tail on fire. Like Bulbasaur, both the colour scheme and a very visually attention-grabbing anatomy really communicates that Charmander is a fire-type without being insanely cluttered like some of the later-generation Pokemon will be. And, um... as established by the anime, if a Charmander's tail-fire is put out, it dies. No!! The precious! While the original Generation I Pokedex entry does not feature this at all, subsequent generations would canonize this anime-originated interpretation. I mean, I can't fault them -- the image of a Charmander waiting faithfully while literally dying as a rainstorm pours around him, faithfully waiting for his trainer, is one of the most powerful images in the first season of the Pokemon anime.


And then it turns into Charmeleon, which has nothing to do with chameleons at all (I think I spelled chameleon-the-real-animal as 'charmeleon' for way longer than I should) and hoo boy, just like Ivysaur, Charmeleon really looks cool. It's just a sleek design, with sharp eyes, a horn on its head, a less-cartoony theropodal head, and its arms have grown, prominently on its lower arms which look like they can really deliver a mean slash. The Pokedex entries highlight that it's a hot-headed, near-merciless fighter that goes around beating up everyone in front of it. And just look at its design! It's a smug, smarmy bastard. You can totally believe that Charmeleon would do just that.


Ultimately Charmeleon turns into everybody's favourite pot-bellied flying dinosaur, Charizard! And dang, Charizard just looks cool. I mean, he's a flying dinosaur that looks like a dragon, his head-spikes have increased, his mouth looks less beaky and more reptilian, he's got cool bat-wings and he still has that flaming tail, and he breathes fire! What's not to like about him? I mean, yeah, his proportions are a bit odd, with his sleek, dinosaurian/draconian neck and tail being offset by his pot-belly, but I've never been bothered by that.

What I am slightly bothered about is that... Charizard looks very much like a final evolution of Charmander. Charizard also looks very much as a grown-up Charmeleon. What I don't quite get is the progression from Charmander to Charmeleon to Charizard. So the first and final stages are orange, but the middle one is red for some reason? And Charmeleon's chunky lower arms just... shrink into the spindly fingered hands that Charizard has? Ultimately, though, these are asinine nitpicks and just things that I tell myself that it doesn't matter. Enjoy your fire-breathing dragon.

And, well, Charizard is just pretty fucking boss. Except, to the disappointment and shock of many, Charizard... isn't actually a Dragon-type. He's a pure Fire/Flying, with the exclusive wielder of the Dragon-type in the original 151 being the Dratini line. Still, I can respect Gamefreak's dedication to never retconning this, because, well, Charizard as this flying fire dinosaur has always been so classic and iconic (and just what defines a dragon type, anyway? Maybe I'll do an article about all the types in the future) that I don't care. Besides.... Charizard gets to be a dragon eventually. It just takes him around 20 years. Still, it's really difficult not to love Charizard, and really the only reason to maybe dislike him is the insanely rabid fanbase around him. But I've always found that ignoring rabid fanboys makes me happier to enjoy what I enjoy.

To add to Charizard's already awesome reputation, Shiny Charizard (for those uninitiated, 'shiny' is like albino, super-uber-rare versions of Pokemon that have like one in a couple million chances to appear, with the only real difference being the colour palette) is jet-black with blood-red wings. How metal is that?

So yeah. Charmander's really cute, Charmeleon's really cool, and Charizard is really boss. They're overrated, but their popularity isn't undeserved.

 5/6.

#007-009: Squirtle, Wartortle & Blastoise
  • Types: Water [all three]
  • Japanese names: Zenigame, Kameru, Kamekkusu
  • Category: Tiny Turtle [Squirtle], Turtle [Wartortle], Shellfish [Blastoise]
Our water-type starter is... Squirtle! I've always loved how all three of the original Kanto starters were reptiles or amphibians of some sort, really selling the whole 'based on childhood critter-collecting' concept that Pokemon is initially inspired by. And Squirtle is, well, a blue turtle! Squirtle's design is just a really simple cartoon turtle with a pudgy feel, cute big eyes, a mouth that's beaky but not too inhuman, and a pose that looks like it's just so huggable and looks like it waddles around. It also has the curly tail that makes me think that his name is a portmanteau of 'squirrel' and turtle' (instead of, y'know, 'squirt') back when I was four. So yeah, Squirtle's cool! It's a turtle and it can retract into his shell despite the bigger-than-Physics-would-allow head. It can spin its shell and whack people, and it used to have the signature move 'Skull Bash' where it whacks people by having its head emerge from its shell at a rapid speed. Pretty cool! It shoots water and bubbles, and it looks adorable doing so.

So of course the anime characterizes the most prominent Squirtles as a motorbike gang with sunglasses. The anime takes a lot of liberties at times while still keeping these Pokemon true to their original concept, but dang if it didn't make Squirtle memorable.


And then Squirtle evolves into Wartortle, where it gains a fluffy pair of bunny ears, wicked-looking fangs, and a huge, huge bushy tail. Its skin gains a more purple tint, and it looks just ready to go to war. Which is probably why he's called Wartortle in English. It just has this neat balance of grace and power, and while a furry turtle is a bit of a 'wait, what?' moment for me as a kid, Wartortle is actually based on a mythological Japanese turtle called the minogame, an ancient, long-living turtle that is so old that it has a hairy tail of seaweed growing out of its back. A minogame is famously featured in the Japanese folk tale Urashima Taro, which, for length's sake, I won't be getting into, but if you've watched a fair bit of anime you know that story. So yeah, there's a reason that nine out of ten of Wartortle's pokedex entries all talk about how this dude's a symbol of longevity, while also trying to justify his long bushy tail biologically by noting that they help Wartortle balance in water, or to collect air bubbles before diving.


And then Wartortle evolves into Blastoise, and loses not only all its distinctive fur, but also his fangs. Blastoise is also a completely different, more navy shade of blue, and while still obvious as the big daddy of Squirtles and Wartortles, I've always thought that the evolution from Squirtle to Wartortle to Blastoise as the least thematically fitting. Bulbasaur's line grows from a small frog with a small plant to a huge toad monster with a huge plant. Charmander grows from a tiny fire lizard baby into a big fire winged lizard-dragon, and there is a progression between the three stages of the Bulbasaur and Charmander line. Wartortle's cool, and Blastoise's really cool for the simple reason that he has motherfucking TANK CANNONS WHAT THE HELL... but I really wished that they had either dropped the bushiness from Wartortle entirely (which would have the unfortunate effect of turning Wartortle super-plain) or incorporate some aspects of either the tank cannons in Wartortle, or the furry stuff in Blastoise. Like, the only reason I'm not any more prissy about this is simply because, y'know, my slight unabashed Kanto bias. Because, well, Blastoise is still awesome and I just don't have the heart to complain that much.

Blastoise being a turtle equipped with cannons that shoot pressurized water on his back is cool enough, but both anime and manga have depicted Blastoise as still being able to retract into his shell, but this time the cannons are used as mid-air rocket-blaster things to launch Blastoise's really hard turtle shell to whack fools in the face. Which is pretty cool and something that more modern depictions of Blastoise never show. Blastoise is also the very first outlet to a young me that shows just how powerful water, when shot out with enough force, can be. Also, apparently Blatoise's cannons are based on the siphons of shellfishes, which is why Wartortle is known as the 'turtle Pokemon' and Blastoise the 'shellfish Pokemon'? Okay, then.

Out of the original three starters, Blastoise is the only one that remains a pure Water-type throughout its entire evolutionary line. I've always thought that Blastoise an ideal recipient to get the Steel-type because it has steel cannons, but that never happened. So... eh. Blastoise's awesome. I've always had special love for his insanely awkward Red/Blue sprite that had him look wackily obese and had such a bad, cluttered silhouette that you don't know he has shell-cannons unless you're looking for them.

So yeah, overall... I still really like the entire Blastoise line. I kinda think that I like it slightly less than Charizard, who I like slightly less than Venusaur, but that's like rating three different types of ice cream you really like, because eventually, all three are still pretty cool and iconic. The original post of this article had Squirtle as 5/5... but after deliberating about it, I think I don't like him as much as the other two Kanto starters. That's not to say I don't like Squirtle at all, because I still do! But when you rate these things, some are definitely going to end up being ranked less than others.

 5/6.

#010-012: Caterpie, Metapod & Butterfree
  • Types: Bug [Caterpie/Metapod], Bug/Flying [Butterfree]
  • Japanese names: Kyatapi, Toranseru, Batafuri
  • Category: Worm [Caterpie], Cocoon [Metapod], Butterfly [Butterfree]

The first non-starter evolutionary family is the humble trio of Caterpie, Metapod and Butterfree. Pokemon is educative, kids, because this was where I first learned that ugly fat caterpillars who do nothing but eat and waddle around turn into a stationary pupa by covering itself with string, before emerging as beautiful butterflies. Or moths. It is Caterpie's evolutionary line that sparked an interest in learning so, so much about insects and other invertebrates as a wee child, and it is a love that had stayed with me even until adulthood. The Caterpie and Weedle lines (which are designed as like counterparts for each other, and 'counterparts' will be seen in many other examples further down the line) are some of the first Pokemon that an aspiring trainer playing through the original games will meet. I mean, Pidgeys and Rattatas are the quintessential first-route Pokemon, but Weedles and Caterpies show up very early too. And the Bug-types evolve very fast and hit really hard for the first ten or twenty levels. Caterpie was, in a game standpoint, meant to be a lesson -- it evolves fast into its final form, but its final form is weaker than even the non-final forms of other Pokemon, like your starter.

But you know what? I've always loved Butterfree. Partly it's because of the anime, where Caterpie's evolution into Metapod and later Butterfree was among the very first episodes aired in the anime, but simply partly because I just want to be defiant of all the kids back in the playground who tell me that only the Pokemon with huge stats near the end of the Pokedex matter, and you're an idiot for liking and keeping the early bug beyond the first gym.

Well, screw that, because I like Butterfree, and I'm going to keep using Butterfree. I've brought Butterfrees to defeat the Elite Four and Champion multiple times in different Kanto and Johto games. And yes, it's never going to be the best Pokemon competitively, but I really end up liking Butterfree a lot through my playthroughs in the games. While there's an undeniably awesome feeling of having powerhouses like Garchomps and Hydreigons tear through enemies, there's also an equally satisfying feeling when it's a little bug that you trained to such a degree that they can fight on relatively equal footing.

Let's talk about design, shall we? Caterpie, Metapod and Butterfree are meant to be a simple version of evolution that mimics the real-life metamorphosis of butterflies, and design-wise they don't deviate too much from their inspirations. Caterpie is, well, a generic-looking caterpillar that is cute enough to not be gross, with huge bug eyes that still remain cute. Instead of mandibles he's got this huge tofu-like thing, and he's got a cute red horn that releases a stink if disturbed. The thing that really makes me amazed at Caterpie is that he's nearly unchanged from his real-life counterpart, the larval stage of the Papilio xuthus, the Asian swallowtail butterfly. I'm not going to put pictures of all real-life inspirations in the future and will more likely just link to pictures of them, but just look at it! Sure, Caterpie takes the fake eye-spot mimicry on the swallowtail caterpillar and turns them into real eyes, but the replication of the real-life caterpillar's osmeterium, the fork-like organ that unleashes a stink and is thought to make the caterpillar mimic the forked tongue of a snake, is very cool.


Caterpie then evolves at a low level into a Metapod, who's, well, essentially a pupa with eyes. And shape-wise, it's really easy to tell that Metapod is still based on the Papilio xuthus' pupal stage, just with a simpler colour scheme and googly eyes stapled on. Metapod is our first 'pupal' Pokemon and certainly won't be the last. There's a very cool gimmick to Metapod (and Kakuna) that they can't actually attack and can only harden, being a truly helpless creature in the wild. This, of course, led to the infamous Harden-vs-Harden Metapod battle in the anime, which is remembered for something naughtier. In practice, Metapods in the game can have moves carry over from Caterpie, but wild Metapods do have no other moves other than Harden. It's a neat showcase of the real-life pupal stage that still looks pretty decent.


Of course, Metapod quickly cracks open and unveils its final form, Butterfree, which, if you're paying attention, is also obviously based upon the adult stage of the Asian swallowtail butterfly, although Butterfree is a lot more stylized and can really pass off as any sort of butterfly. Bulbapedia identifies the Aporia crataegi, the black-veined white butterfly, as being Butterfree's inspiration due to its wing markings, but it's honestly a crap-shoot.

Instead of six jointed legs and a coiled proboscis (the latter will be featured in future butterfly Pokemon Beautifly), Butterfree instead has a mouth with fangs, two tiny claw-like arms and two huge clown feet. It's a pretty cute cartoon butterfly, though, with huge pretty-yet-simple wings,  while retaining a very inhuman compound eyes that highlight that even though it's a cute creature, it's still a bug. Butterfree is also very noted in Pokedex entries and anime/manga adaptations for being able to unleash toxic dust into the air by flapping its wings, which... isn't a thing that actual butterflies can do, but Butterfree kind of sets a precedent that all future butterfly and moth Pokemon will be able to do so... which is fair, I guess, since they need to do something to fight in deathmatches, and butterflies and moths aren't creatures with a lot of combative abilities in real life. Presumably Butterfree's ability to unleash Sleep Powder, Poison Powder and Stun Spore is based on the real-life dust-like scales that butterflies and moths sometimes leave behind? The whole lepidoptera order that butterflies and moths belong to do literally mean 'scale wings'.

It's very simple, don't get me wrong, but I've always thought that Butterfree's simplicity adds to its appeal as the first introduction a player gets to the Bug type. Butterfree also gains the Flying type upon evolving, making Butterfree our first introduction to the very, very common Bug/Flying type. Back in the first generation, Poison was billed as the 'evil' type of sorts, and Team Rocket uses a lot of Poison types, and Butterfree's counterpart Beedrill gets slapped with the Bug/Poison type because it's more antagonistic-looking, I guess? It's a bit weird, since both Butterfree and Beedrill (and Venomoth, too) gains wings and are able to fly, but only Butterfree gets the Flying type. I'm a huge fan of Butterfree, and a huge fan of the 'metamorphosing bug' concept as a staple in this franchise.

 6/6. Very subjective, probably should've been 5, but I like Butterfree a lot.

#013-015: Weedle, Kakuna & Beedrill
  • Types: Bug/Poison [all three]
  • Japanese names: Bidoru, Kokun, Supia
  • Category: Hairy Bug [Weedle], Cocoon [Kakuna], Poison Bee [Beedrill]

So to form the Caterpie line's counterparts in the very first bug-filled areas of the game is Weedle, who is based on a bee larva. And, well, being the larva of a bee means that Weedle is far more... grubbier than Caterpie is. Of course, real-life bee larvae aren't much beyond white, boring maggots, so they gave Weedle an oval clown nose, eyes and two huge stingers, one on its tail and one on its head. Weedle instantly just looks a bit more instantly threatening than Caterpie does with its spiky head and tail, just threatening to sting you. There are many real-life caterpillars that can 'sting' people who touch it, albeit with hairy coverings as opposed to a huge needle, but it's still cool enough to see Weedle as this cute little maggot-worm with a stinger. Pokedex entries also note that Weedle is brightly coloured as orange and pink in order to warn predators off because it's a poisonous grub (something that real life poisonous insects do), and it's a neat contrast to Caterpie's more camouflage-friendly green-and-yellow colour scheme.

Also, throughout its entire evolutionary line, Weedle stays Bug/Poison. Well, okay then? I really kinda wished that Beedrill gained the flying type as it's one of the few creatures with wings and are often shown almost exclusively flying but never gains the flying type. It's kinda odd, really.


And then Weedle evolves into Kakuna, which is a cool-looking stylized version of a bee's pupal stage. It's also given a pair of meaner-looking eyes that simply adds character, communicating that Kakuna isn't quite as nice as Metapod is. And Pokedex entries emphasize that Kakuna can, in desperation, stick out its poison stinger when threatened. It's a bit of a hold-over from Kakuna's original sprites and concept artwork that show that Kakuna actually has arms folded to form the markings that resemble a business tie on Kakuna's form. It's since been abandoned and never really mentioned again, and Kakuna's more modern dex entries emphasize its whole motionless-pupa thing. Still, regardless on whether it has spike-arms or not, Kakuna still looks pretty damn cool, looking just so unnaturally alien yet organic at the same time in a way that only insects and bugs can manage to do. The fact that real-life bee pupas actually do resemble Kakuna only makes me appreciate his weirdness so much, and makes Kakuna leagues cooler than Metapod.


Kakuna evolves into Beedrill, who is single-handedly (single-stingerly?) responsible for my melissophobia. That's fear of bees, wasps and hornets, folks! It's not enough that Beedrill is a one-meter-sized bee that travel in swarms, it also has a bee stinger on the tip of its abdomen, and its two arms end in gigantic lance-drill things. Oh, and as evidenced by its still Bug/Poison typing, all three spikes are likely to inject some sort of debilitating poison into you.

Beedrill's design actually borrows a lot more from meaner-looking bugs of the Hymenopteran order like wasps and hornets, and those are the ones that are liable to aggressively sting you anyway (bees only sting when they're threatened, and avoid stinging whenever possible because worker bees die if they sting a human since the stinger gets hooked into our flesh and will rip out its organs when it detaches). The early seasons of the anime really has a kick out of using swarms of Beedrill as a running gag, unleashing them among both our cast and Team Rocket whenever we need some slapstick comedy. And Beedrill's design is just so awesome! Four-legs-instead-of-six nitpicking aside, Beedrill just takes what is so iconic about bees, hornets and wasps (especially in Japanese culture, where the massively aggressive Japanese giant hornet, a likely basis for Beedrill's behaviour, resides) and exaggerates it in Beedrill by giving it extra stingers. And boy, those drill-like arms really give Beedrill an air of menace, while its design still communicates that it's a hornet monster pretty clearly.

If Beedrill's arms don't actually look like drills, it's because they're not meant to be drills. Beedrill's Japanese name is actually "Supia", the Japanese pronunciation of the English word spear. So yeah, there's your useless Pokemon trivia for the day. Beedrill's a very cool design, and all his dex entries very much emphasizes on its aggression, its territorial menace, its speed and its ability to jab enemies with poisonous stingers. All of which are very much true to anyone living in areas where aggressive hornets live, too. So yeah -- I like Beedrill a fair ton. I realize that it's partly because of my own love and fascination for insects, which in turn was built by Pokemon itself. So yeah.

 5/6.

#016-018: Pidgey, Pidgeotto & Pidgeot
  • Types: Normal/Flying [all three]
  • Japanese names: Poppo, Pijon, Pijotto
  • Category: Tiny Bird [Pidgey], Bird [Pidgeotto/Pidgeot]

Pidgey, Pidgeotto and Pidgeot are the 'starter birds' of the first generation. It's going to be a running theme that each generation will have a bird-based Pokemon and a rodent-based Pokemon as the earliest route creature, and an early-route bug counterpart of Caterpie and Weedle a little later on. And indeed, in all Generation I games, the very first route you go through will have only Pidgeys and Rattatas wandering through it. And as such, most people who made their way through the original games tend to try and raise a Pidgey all the way to Pidgeot. Add that to the fact that you actually need a flying Pokemon to help you navigate through the Pokemon world easily, and Pidgey is pretty popular. Plus, it's a cute little bird that evolves into a big majestic bird of prey! What's not to love?

Mind you, despite their names, none of the Pidgey lines are based on pigeons -- that honour would go to Pidove, released in Generation IV. Pidgey always feels more like a sparrow to me, especially due to its role as a bit of an ever-present bird, while Pidgeotto and Pidgeot might be somewhat more based upon ospreys, due to the black band around their eyes... but it's honestly reaching.

Anyway, Pidgey is a fat little brown bird with a scrappy quantity to it. It's got the black mask-like band around its eyes that Pidgeotto and Pidgeot will share, but there's really not much to talk about Pidgey. And Pidgey really just fills the niche of a mundane animal early on in your adventure, just a bird Pokemon, and it's... okay? I've never been that impressed with Pidgey even back when I was a kid, but it was a neat little creature before we go to the more exotic realms of Kanto with gigantic rock snakes and lightning magnet monsters. The entire Pidgey line also serves as our first Normal/Flying Pokemon. Flying is a rather odd type, in that it's one of the most common types out there, but it never stands alone with all (but one) Pokemon with the Flying type having it paired with others. And since the Pidgey line is just normal birds, they're normal-types that fly.


Anyway, nothing much to really talk about Pidgey. It's well-known with the ability to create Gusts and Whirlwinds thanks to its Pokedex description, but that doesn't really made it super-special since all other bird Pokemon are able to do it too. It evolves into Pidgeotto, who gets slightly more interesting with a less-ugly paint scheme, by which he has an interesting set of red-and-yellow tails and a short red plume on its head. Pidgeotto was pretty cool in the anime, I suppose, but he's also the most criminally underused of the Pokemon on Ash's party.


The final form of this line (at least for now) is Pidgeot, which switches Pidgeotto's things around. Instead of having a majestic multi-coloured tail and a shorter red head-hair, Pidgeot moves the multi-colour to a long, sweeping hair and the tail apparently... degenerates into just a short bunch of red, neatly-filed feathers? Yeah, it's weird. I've always liked Pidgeot, but never really loved it. Birds simply never caught my interest in the way that bugs or marine creatures do, I suppose, but even then I've always thought Pidgeotto and Pidgeot felt boring. And I suppose that was the whole point of them, but they've always felt rather lacking even as generic birds, especially for the fact that Pidgeotto and Pidgeot really looked way too similar. My opinion on them have gone from 'but Pidgeot's cool!' to slightly more neutral as we get more and more variants on the 'three-stage-bird-evolution' that manage to do cooler things than them. I like them for what they are, and they're a classic staple, but I've never fallen in love with the line as many people did.

 3/6.

#019-020: Rattata & Raticate
  • Types: Normal [both]
  • Japanese names: Koratta, Ratta
  • Category: Mouse [both; Rat before Generation III]
Rattata is our first pure Normal-type Pokemon, and the 'Normal' type is going to be a catch-all for all Pokemon that can't breathe fire or ice or shoot lightning bolts or are part-plant. It's been described by some people as essentially the 'animal' type since most of the Normal-type Pokemon are just funnily-drawn animals. And Rattata, well, Rattata is one of them. He's just a cartoon rat. Unlike Pidgey, Rattata at least looks somewhat unique by being purple in colour with a few extra details that make it look more fantastical like the exaggerated bucktooth, the whiskers and the curly blob-tail. It's just an angry cartoon rat, and emphasizes an angry, scrappy rodent. It's cool enough for a rat, and serves as an early-game nuisance pretty well. Pokedex entries play up Rattata's role as a vicious, angry vermin that multiplies quickly.

Then Rattata evolves into Raticate, which is this appropriately hideous fluffball that stands on its hind-legs, have a pair of pronounced teeth on both the upper and lower halves of its jaw, has a far scragglier fur and whiskers and just looks so much meaner. More modern 3D models don't quite do it as much justice as the more rabid sprites that the original games gave him. Raticate also has the distinctive worm-like tail that real-life rats have. I've never liked rats in real life, but Raticate truly embodies a big angry rat monster, and in that aspect the designers certainly did their job well. Raticate is also apparently based partly on the coypu, a large amphibious rat with webbed hind feet (prominently noted in the Pokedex entries despite none of Raticate's artwork featuring any webbed feet).


During the first generation, Raticate and Rattata are the only Pokemon that have two exclusive moves in Super Fang and Hyper Fang. Which is really cool. They are apparently called "Fang of Hatred" and "Certain-Death Fang" in Japanese which is insanely cool-sounding, and matches all the fantastical descriptions of just how much Raticate can fuck things up with its powerful fangs. Raticate is also a Pokemon that can learn an insanely large amount of moves -- Thunderbolt! Shadow Ball! Flamethrower! Ice Beam! Bubblebeam! -- which isn't something I expected from a big fat brown rat, and that simple fact made me really like Raticate more than I probably should. Also the fact that Raticate's entire name is a pun off 'eradicate', which just makes him sound so much more threatening. (In contrast, Raticate's original Japanese name is... Rat).

Rattata and Raticate aren't anything particularly special, since they're just, y'know, rats. Like all those giant rats you kill in the beginning of your D&D campaign. They portray the 'swarming vermin' quality of rats pretty well, and have a lot of personality in their artwork and dex entries as being mean dudes. They fill a niche in the Pokedex by being nowhere as notable as most of the other Pokemon, and that's an important thing they do for Pokemon that, I feel, keeps each region with a unique feel. If every single new Pokemon in the region was a three-stage dragon or dinosaur evolutionary line with no rats or squirrels to compare to, the Garchomps, Tyranitars and Mewtwos of the world have nothing to be compared to. Rattata and Raticate aren't the best looking rats. They're extremely necessary to set the bar of what a more 'mundane' Pokemon looks like, and I've known the rats for so long, but I don't really like them all that much personally. Sorry, Raticate.

 3/6.

#021-022: Spearow & Fearow
  • Types: Normal/Flying
  • Japanese names: Onisuzume, Onidoriru
  • Category: Tiny Bird [Spearow], Beak [Fearow]

Ah, here comes poor, ignored Spearow, our second Normal/Flying line. Spearow is a far meaner-looking bird than Pidgey, and based on its name is seemingly based on a sparrow... but really, I don't see much resemblance beyond superficially being smaller birds. They're both birds, which is cool, and I've always thought that despite being relatively simple, Spearow has more going on in its design than Pidgey does. I've never quite gotten what the segmented stuff on Spearow's belly is supposed to be, but from the strikingly red wings, the prominent way that the plumage on his head and neck is separated from the black-top-half and white-bottom-half of its main body makes Spearow just visually more interesting without going into the overdesigned complexity that some Pokemon end up doing.

Spearow is also a bit more territorial and meaner, and several dex entries and the Adventures manga originally associate Spearow with Mirror Move. They are perhaps most iconically known as the huge swarm of angry, pissed-off birds that try to murder Ash and Pikachu in the first episode of the anime. Spearow in the games tend to be a bit rarer than Pidgey, although it evolves into Fearow slightly earlier. It's cool, a neat way to show the diversity in the Pokemon ecology that the two newer generations never quite manage to do with their more limited pools of Pokemon.


Spearow evolves into Fearow, which is totally not a sparrow, but resembles some kind of hybrid between a long-necked, long-beaked stork, but evolved to behave and hunt like a big bird of prey... but a lot of the earlier Pokemon are just amalgamations of a certain type of animal, and you'll be hard-pressed to really find any kind of bird that resembles Fearow (Bulbapedia lists like 7 different birds as 'possible inspirations', but I looked them all up and none really look like a direct inspiration). I've always really appreciated Fearow for simply how mean it looked. It has angry eyes, a huge mean drill, and a raggedy feel to its fathers and its angled neck that communicates its ferocity well. It doesn't really have much else to it beyond being that, but I've always thought that Fearow had more personality than Pidgeot. Fearow's name is even cooler, especially in Japanese -- Onidrill.

Like Butterfree and Beedrill, Pidgeot and Fearow are like counterparts, with one looking more heroic and the other looking more... scrappy and mean if not outright villainous. Still, despite its personality there's really only so much going on with Fearow and even its Pokedex entries only really talk about it being a badass bird and nothing much beyond that. Again, like Pidgeot, there's nothing completely wrong about Fearow, but there's not that much to like either after you get past the whole 'mean bird' deal. For what it's worth, I think I do like it better than Pidgeot.

 4/6.

#023-024: Ekans & Arbok
  • Types: Poison [both]
  • Japanese names: Abo, Abokku
  • Category: Snake [Ekans], Cobra [Arbok]
I've always liked snakes. They're such weird, creepy reptiles that slither along, and they are so well-known in popular culture as being venomous. And, well, not all snakes are venomous, of course, but it is rather appropriate that our very first Poison-type evolutionary line in the Pokedex are based off on snakes. Poison, unlike Flying, can apparently exist on its own even on blatantly animal-based Pokemon, so... eh. Ekans is a pretty cool rattlesnake Pokemon. It perhaps doesn't differ much from actual snakes other than being purple, but I've always liked its very snake-like eyes and its huge gaping mouth. And I really like that Ekans is an amalgamation of various snakes. It's obviously a rattlesnake (one of the most distinctly iconic snakes) first and foremost, but its single yellow band on its neck calls to mind the Ring-Necked Snake and its Pokedex entries highlight its diet of eggs, and only two types of snakes -- the Dasypeltis genus and the Indian Egg-Eater -- feed exclusively on eggs.


And then Ekans evolves into Arbok (I'm mildly surprised that the 'Arbok-is-Cobra-backwards' actually originates from his Japanese name), based on one of the most iconic snakes, the King Cobra. I've talked about Arbok in more detail in a past article. And I've always liked Arbok a lot! Part of it is because he's a big mean snake, and snakes are cool -- although I'm kind of sad that Arbok doesn't keep Ekans' slit-like snake eyes -- and part of it is because, well, Arbok is one of the most prominent faces in the original anime for quite some time. It's just so expressive in the anime with its loud cries of CHAAAAAH-BAHK and looks pretty cool. Arbok also has a lot of great scenes in the Yellow arc of Pokemon Adventures, where Koga's Arbok and Agatha's Arbok are shown to have insane powers depending on the facial markings on their stomach. And while the Generation II and III games do feature differing hood patterns in their sprites, everything after that drops it and reverts Arbok back to his original Gen-I pattern. Which is a huge, huge shame in my book considering how much later-generation Pokemon really like their cosmetic form differences. We have Spindas and Vivillons and Sawsbucks who have multiple cosmetic form differences. Why not give Arbok, who has had multiple Pokedex entries reference their different-in-different-regions pattern, have different patterns as well?

Arbok's cobra hood combines both the fake-eyespots that real cobras have on the front side of their hood with the more intricate patterns on the back of their hood to form this scary face, and it's reflected in two of Arbok's three abilities (which all Pokemon get in Generation III) -- Intimidate and Shed Skin. Before abilities were a thing, though, Ekans and Arbok, in addition to having a plethora of poison and biting moves, are the only Pokemon capable of learning Glare, or as it's originally known in Japanese, Snake Glare. It's a neat little nod to reptilian mythological monsters like gorgons and basilisks that are able to turn people into stone by looking at them.

Ekans and Arbok are pretty cool Pokemon that I've grown to like a lot over the years. Partially because of the anime, but partially because snakes are just kinda cooler than rats and birds.

 4/6.

#025-026: Pikachu & Raichu
  • Types: Electric [both]
  • Japanese names: Pikachu, Raichu
  • Category: Mouse [both]
Oh boy, here we go with mascot boy Pikachu. I'm not going to be a hipster and go 'duhhh Pikachu's so overrated', because, well, Pikachu is likable for a reason. It's very smart that they chose Pikachu over their original mascot, Clefairy, because, well, Pikachu just hits all the right buttons. Pikachu's cute enough to appeal to little girls, being this weird cartoon rabbit-rat without being too 'feminine' for boys, while the ability to summon thunderbolts feeding into the 'holy shit this is cool!' factor for boys. Pikachu enjoys a gigantic amount of popularity and it's not difficult to see why. Removed from that gigantic amount of popularity and his role as franchise mascot, though, Pikachu's a pretty cool design. He's a mainly yellow-and-brown rat, but attention is quickly called to his red cheeks which apparently is where all the electricity is stored. To further communicate the electric typing, Pikachu has a tail shaped like a thunderbolt.

I've always enjoyed Pikachu a lot, having used one in various occasions -- most recently in my Ultra Moon playthroughs, but I've also used Pikachu and Raichu in several runs through the Kanto games. My favourite Pikachu is probably the Pikachu in the first few episodes of the anime where he's just such a dick. The original few appearances of Pikachu in Adventures (which features a lot of Pikachu as well) also characterized him as a dick, which is just so much fun. Pikachu also used to be a lot pudgier and blob-ier (original Sugimori control art, TCG artwork and Pokemon Yellow artwork) but became leaner and less hamster-esque, which was a bit of a shame.

But I've always liked Pikachu, and perhaps a huge chunk of why Pokemon is easily so successful as a franchise is just how marketable Pikachu himself is. I'm not sure how popular Pokemon is if the original mascot in the anime and games ended up being Clefairy or Poliwhirl, and like it or not, Pikachu's became the face of the entire franchise and I think he embodies a lot of what the original Pokemon is -- cute animal-based monsters with elemental abilities. You can certainly do a lot worse for mascots than Pikachu, and I'm sure that if he wasn't so omni-present a lot of people won't go the edgy hipster route of 'uhh durr hurr I hate Pikachu because he's popular'.


Pikachu, of course, evolves into Raichu, which is infinitely better than Pikachu in all the ways that matter (despite the anime making Pikachu's evolution as an 'evil' thing to do) and Raichu's just so much cooler than Pikachu in appearance, too. From the neat colour swap from yellow-and-black into orange-and-brown, Raichu's got a very striking whip-tail that simply looks cool. Raichu's stub-arms is  a bit weird, but I do like Raichu a fair bit. In a neat nod to how a Pokemon behaves in the wild, Raichu's tail is some sort of lightning rod to both gather electricity from the air in order to fuel its electric sacs, and also to discharge electricity to the ground if there's too much of it. It's an awesome bit of detail that makes Raichu feel so much more... life-like, so to speak. It's just such a shame that Raichu always gets overshadowed by his pre-evolution. Raichu's also lost a lot of weight from the original games -- he used to be even chubbier than Pikachu. Still, that whip-tail's really cool.

I've always liked Pikachu and Raichu. And yes, as much as Pikachu's over-exposure might hurt him in the eyes of a long-time fan... I don't mind the line, and I've used them enough to end up liking them a lot.

 5/6.

#027-028: Sandshrew & Sandslash
  • Types: Ground [both]
  • Japanese names: Sando, Sandopan
  • Category: Mouse [both]
We now go to Sandshrew and Sandslash, which were version exclusives to Pokemon Blue, in contrast to Ekans and Arbok which replaced Sandshrew and Sandslash in Red. And, well, Sandshrew's pretty cool! He's a very stylized version of a pangolin, not a shrew or the more-common-in-pop-culture armadillo. They both curl up into balls to expose their hard shells towards predators, but where armadillos have a huge segmented shell on their back separate from their limbs and tail, pangolins have hard scales running through their entire body -- just like Sandshrew does. (Sandslash's Japanese is Sandpan, a combination of the English words sand and pangolin). I've always liked Sandshrew, with its huge cute eyes and its cool looking form that looks both cute and ready to throw down. And the way that Sandshrew is depicted to be able to roll into a ball to bounce around and whack fools in the face in the anime and 3D-era games has always fascinated me.

Sandshrew is also our very first Ground-type Pokemon, which in Pokemon terms -- especially for the first few Pokemon -- means more that the Pokemon lives in areas closely associated with the ground, often times underground or in sandstorm-laden deserts. There will be many other Ground-type Pokemon in the future that are just creatures with the elemental power to control the earth and create earthquakes and fissures, so the boundaries of the Ground-type is perhaps one of the more flexible ones in the Pokemon universe.


Sandshrew's evolved form is Sandslash, who is just plain awesome. And I've always loved how Sandslash essentially keeps Sandshrew's cute, adorable rat eyes as it evolves. But Sandslash has transformed into a creature that's this combination of pangolin and a porcupine, transforming the pangolin's segmented scales into prickly thorns that turns Sandshrew's armoured ball form into a spinning spiked ball. Add that to Sandslash's arms and legs to evolve to emphasize Sandslash's gigantic two-clawed hands which just look absolutely mean (there's a reason they changed Sandslash's English name into something that emphasized his claws from the more neutral 'Sandstorm'), and it just ends up as easily one of the coolest designs in Pokemon history that's both simply just cool... while still being adorable enough to snuggle.

 4/6.

#029-034: Nidoran♀, Nidorina, Nidoqueen, Nidoran♂, Nidorino & Nidoking
  • Types: Poison [both Nidorans, Nidorina and Nidorino], Poison/Ground [Nidoqueen/Nidoking]
  • Japanese names: Nidoran Mesu, Nidorina, Nidokuin, Nidoran Osu, Nidorino, Nidokingu
  • Category: Poison Pin [both Nidorans, Nidorina and Nidorino], Drill [Nidoqueen/Nidoking]
Welcome to the Nidorans, a group of Pokemon whose inspirations remain unclear... and I'm happy that they remain that way! While Nidoking and Nidoqueen, the patriarch and matriarch of the evolutionary line, are obviously kaiju-inspired (I don't know a lot about kaiju, but I've seen Baragon to be touted as a possible inspiration for Nidoking), but people range from rabbits to rhinoceroses to rats to porcupines for the younger members of the family. Personally, I think the Nidorans are an artifact from when Pokemon were still just trying to emphasize on the whole 'Pocket Monster' aspect, and while there are certain characters based on real animals and plants, there are also some that are just, well, monsters who happen to cohabitate the world with the almost-normal-looking birds, rats, butterflies and hornets. And I like the Nido family for that. And the Nido family is a very quirky set of monsters that's a symptom of the early days of Pokemon. The two Nidorans are called respectively Nidoran♀ and Nidoran♂, a full generation before genders were even introduced into the Pokemon world. They also occupy different slots in the Pokedex, when modern games would've just slotted them together as form differences without a second thought (see Unfezant and Meowstic). Both the Nidoran lines evolve independently of each other, and are treated as their own species... but when the second generation introduced breeding, the female Nidorans can produce eggs of either male or female Nidoran. It's a pretty unique set of beasts that exist to highlight sexual dimorphism, and, well, both the female and male evolutionary lines really do offer some neat designs.

(Also, thank you Pokemon for teaching young me what the male and female symbols are.)

All the Pokedex entries tend to just revolve around how the Nidorans are just a group of poisonous communal beasts, and they are all known for their barbed horns that secrete poisons, and even the younger Nidorans have potent poison. They also note that the females have smaller horns, but are no less deadly than the males.


So let's talk briefly about all the individual members of the Nidoran lines, starting with the ladies first. The first in the Pokedex entry is Nidoran♀, who is a pale-blue rat-like beast with a tiny horn (which are flat-out erroneously absent in the original Red/Blue sprite until Yellow fixed it) but seemingly are hairless. Do they just have fine hair, or are they actually more akin to reptiles? It's very interesting. Nidoran♀ then evolves into Nidorina, changing from a pale blue to a paler, slightly greenish hue. Her ears are more prominent, her forehead-spike is inexplicably gone, and she has developed an almost beaky mouth. Her rat-bucktooth is replaced with a pair of Ivysaur-esque fangs, and she is prominently displayed in all artwork as standing on two legs, while her front legs have transformed into arms, hinting at her final form being bipedal. The Pokedex handwave this as 'her horns grow more slowly' and I genuinely question if the female Nidoran was even supposed to have a horn at all.


Nidorina then evolves into Nidoqueen, and her blue goes straight up darker. Nidorqueen stands on two legs like a true theropod-based kaiju, and she definitely looks more feminine than her counterpart, with what appears to be mammalian breasts on an otherwise reptile-esque creature. The boobs kind of ruin Nidoqueen somewhat for me, and I really think her design really would've communicated that she's a female compared to Nidoking. She has less spikes, her mouth is toothless and she has a smaller horn (which returns!). Yet even if Nidoqueen isn't as scary as Nidoking, the size of her lower arms, her body and her huge thick tail communicate that Nidoqueen can throw down as well as her male counterpart. Also, Nidoqueen and Nidoking both gain the Ground typing when they evolve, becoming Poison/Ground dual-types. It's a bit odd why they chose to do this (other to give them to Giovanni, the final gym leader and a user of Ground-types) but I suppose it stems from their origins as Kaiju, and a common origin for those are ancient monsters living beneath the ground.

Nidoqueen is also odd because while both her pre-evolutions can breed, she cannot, despite being the matriarch of the evolutionary line. I'm not sure what to make of that. I guess as alpha female her role is more protection and combative than breeding?

Nidoran♂ and Nidorino are essentially the same creature, and unlike their female counterparts, they retain their purple coat as they evolve. Again, dex entries highlight their venomous spines, although this time around they also note how sensitive their huge, angular rabbit-esque ears are. There's definitely a design parallel between the females and males here, with both Nidorans having a single prominent buck-tooth, while both Nidorino and Nidorina have more pronounced fangs. Nidoran's evolution to Nidorino isn't followed with a similar gradual transformation into a more bipedal stance, however, with Nidorino simply going from the more rabbit-like posture that Nidoran♂ has to a sturdier, rhino-like gait.


Then Nidorino evolves into Nidoking, still keeping his purple coat, and boy, Nidoking looks immensely powerful, isn't he? He's honestly essentially the same design as Nidoqueen, but the lack of boobs and adding that awesome set of fangs on his lower jaws and making the horns more prominent make Nidoking easily one of the coolest-looking Pokemon from the first generation. I'm also not quite sure just why they have actually shortened Nidoking's dorsal spikes between the first and second generation (check out Nidoking's original official artwork). Nidoking's still badass, but he could be more badass. Like Nidoqueen, Nidoking is Poison/Ground in typing, but both final Nidos are able to learn a fuck-ton of TMs which made Nidoking a particularly valuable member of my party in a couple of FireRed playthroughs.

I've always thought that it was particularly odd that Nidorino and Nidorina can only achieve their final forms with exposure to the Moon Stone. Is the energy required to transform into Nido-royalty somehow tied to the moon? It's pretty kaiju-esque, if nothing else.

I've always loved Nidoking and Nidoqueen. As you can surmise, though, I'm more than a little annoyed at the female line's very inconsistent transformation in both colour and head-horn, whereas the male one felt like a more consistent evolution from young to adult. Still, they're easily one of the more memorable designs from the first generation, and their role as Giovanni's two strongest Pokemon has always been very much appreciated.

  5/6 as a set. 

#035-036: Clefairy & Clefable
  • Types: Fairy [both; Normal before Generation VI]
  • Japanese names: Pippi, Pikushi
  • Category: Fairy [both]

Clefairy is... well, the first 'pinkblob' we'll meet. Clefairy was originally a Normal-type Pokemon until the Fairy-types were introduced in the sixth generation, and many pink-blob Pokemon and Pokemon based on the fair folk ended up being retconned into Fairy types. I've never actually liked Clefairy at all, though. Clefairy's whole deal is that she's very rare and hard to find, and in the original Red/Blue/Yellow games, Clefairy is a rare encounter on Mount Moon, and the Pokemon that the whole area is based on. Their rarity and mysterious association with the moon caused various people to speculate that they actually came from the moon, something that the anime's first season took and ran with -- even having a gaggle of Clefairy build a goddamn spaceship to attempt to return to space. Clefairy was then the source of one of the most common theories back in the day -- that Pokemon came from space.

And this cute little backstory, of course, seems to be at least partially based upon the legend of the Moon Rabbit, a popular piece of Japanese folklore that gets a lot of representation in anime and manga (Sailor Moon being the most prominent one), where the shape of the craters on the Moon resembles that of a rabbit pounding a mortar, leading to various oriental-Asian and Aztec cultures to develop myths about rabbits that live on the moon. I won't go into too much detail about it other than Clefable being somewhat based on a rabbit and they both come from the moon, and I felt it's kinda neat to mix fantasy and sci-fi by making them potentially be space travelers.


But I've always found Clefairy's blob-ness and her weird cephalothorax body to be rather bland, and the only time I've ever enjoyed Clefairy was his role as the jackass protagonist of Pokemon: Pocket Monsters manga, a Gintama-esque comedy as opposed to the more straight-up action adventure epic that Pokemon Adventures is.

Clefairy then evolves into Clefable, turning her pink from a saccharine shade to a paler one, and her teeny-tiny wings extend into purple spikes. She doesn't get the Flying type, though. Her ears grow longer and she can now apparently hear a 'pin drop from 1000 yards away', but her expression just... isn't cute. Clefairy and Clefable, back in the first generation, are the only Pokemon (other than Mew) who can legitimately learn Metronome, where they wag a finger and they unleash any random attack... but, again, a combination of Clefairy and Clefable's unineteresting design that's neither cute nor cool make me really never care all that much for these two, and that's saying something considering they're part of the original 151. I don't think that I actually hate them, but I just never could bring myself to muster interest about them, especially since their other pink-blob buddy Jigglypuff is so much more cute and interesting and does more or less the same thing. Let me tell you this, though -- when they decided to turn Pikachu into mascot as opposed to Clefairy... they did the right thing.

 2/6.
______________________________________________________________

So yeah, this is my first entry of the first 36 Pokemon in the Pokedex. It's very rambly because, well, I do have a fair bit to talk about, apparently. I sincerely hope you enjoyed this, and I also hope that you'll be back for more as we dissect the entire population of the Pokemon world throughout the year. Yes, there's a lot of high marks in this one, but as someone whose first generation was indeed the first one, at the height of the Pokemania, what can you expect?

Check out Part 2 of the series, covering Vulpix to Poliwrath!