One Pice 795 Review: Team Sanji Returns! Also, KAIDO!

One Piece, Chapter 795: Suicide

Oh, sure, lots of things happen in this chapter -- it's not paced quite as well as the previous two, but it's still got its share of content -- but the big appeal for me is the return of Sanji, Nami, Chopper and Brook after close to a year of them disappearing! And I honestly thought we'd cut away to them already captured by Big Mom's crew, and would be the impetus for a rescue arc, but it doesn't seem to be the case. Alas this also means that twat Momonosuke's showed up as well, but hey. The other big thing, is, of course, Kaido's reveal and backstory, which I'll talk about in more detail later on.

But we first start of the chapter with a couple of short follow-ups to some characters. We've got Fujitora's team, where he's using excuses like "oh the die showed a 1 today" to justify not hunting down Luffy. So he's not going to outright disobey Akainu's order to bring back Luffy's head, but neither is he in a big hurry to do it, and is actually obstructing his subordinates like Maynard who actually do want to hunt Luffy down. Or maybe he's literally just basing it on the dice roll. Either way, Fujitora's cool. 

We've see the interior of Dressrosa Palace, and apparently the troops and whatnot, all bandaged up (because in mangaland bandages can cure any kind of wound) and talking about how no one saw where Luffy's men went after the whole debacle. We see the allied pirates like Don Chinjao, Bartolomeo, a chained-up Cavendish-Hakuba and Baby 5 all hanging out and just kind of sleeping. Riku tells Rebecca that she will be a princess. So I guess Rebecca as next straw-hat is not going to be a thing? I don't care for Rebecca enough either way, although having her join the straw hats will be kind of a neat difference to the ending of Alabasta.

We then cut away to Team Sanji, who are on the Thousand Sunny and seem to have eluded Big Mom after a year's worth of offscreen running around. Sanji and Chopper are arguing with Caesar Clown, who's being an ass like usual. They've apparently been separated from Nami, Brook and that twat Momonosuke, who are being chased by these two weird dudes -- a burly dude with goggles and horns riding an elephant, and a woman who somehow is more skimpily dressed than Rebecca, which is not an easy feat. 

Nami has notably traded her bikini-top-and-jeans for something less obviously fanservicey.

There's a gigantic eruption of, um, water, because One Piece islands are weird, which knocks everyone out for a spin. Nami saves Brook and Momonosuke from drowning, and the man attacks them with "Sheep's Bone", his hands apparently, um, transforming into a goat's horns? Or something? Is he a goat Zoan? Brook does comment on his power while blocking with a new, if unremarkable attack, "Soul Parade". It's enough to block the dude, who's apparently called Master Sheep's Head, before Sanji delivers a Diable Jambe: Mutton Shot finisher. Y'know, because mutton? Sheep? Heh.

Sanji's lecherous behavior drives creeps the shit out of skimpy-armour girl, who retreats with Sheep's Head... they're apparently hunting the samurai, presumably Kinemon, and the girl apparently doesn't want to deal with Sanji so much that she's willing to just say that they found nothing. Team Sanji briefly talk about a mysterious girl who got away, who is watching them from the bushes. Chopper found something. And Master Sheep's Head is apparently a member of... -dun dun dunnn- the Kaidou Pirates!

Meanwhile, in the Kid-Alliance Pirate Base, a gigantic explosion sends some of the lesser members (including Heat, who IIRC is the only other named member of Kid's crew other than Killer). Everyone, even the captains, are confused as to what is going on. Is Shanks making a pre-emptive attack? They found a hole the shape of a man, and then there's this background dialogue going on, about how the strong live and the weak die.

Apparently the Kid-Alliance base is located under a Sky Island, and while Hawkins and Apoo don't put much stock in the myth, the fact that, y'know, a dude fell down from the sky, followed by a gigantic ship, kind of puts that doubt into question. 

We then get a mini-flashback to a few minutes before, of Urouge, who walks up to the mysterious figure despite the protests of his crew that the man is trouble. The narration starts again about how this man had wanted to die, how nothing his enemies did -- even when he was sent for execution -- had been able to kill him. As Urouge says a prayer, the man jumps like ten thousand feet down from the sky island to die, which was why he crashed down onto the Kid Alliance base.

(I guess Urouge just sorta meets the dude randomly on the Sky Islands then)

And as the narration delivers in excruciating detail how all kinds of torture and killing methods simply doesn't work on him, how he's captured by the Marines and Yonkou but they failed to kill him, how spears and hanging ropes mysteriously break and torture doesn't work on him... and he actually finds it a hobby. And as the man in question pulls himself out of the hole in the ground, the narration tells us his identity -- KAIDO -- the unseen, the monsterous power behind Doflamingo and everything, and he finds all these death attempts so amusing that it's a hobby. He's this gigantic dude that towers over Kid, Hawkins and Apoo -- I don't think the three of them really stand much of a chance if Kaido decides on a whim to end them then and there -- and seems to be some kind of a hybrid between the Vikingiest of the Vikings with a Genghis Khan mustache. He's got giant horns as well. 

Kaido talks about how Whitebeard did a number on him, what the hell that's about? He doesn't seem to care about Team Kid, and just rants to himself about how Joker needs to prepare for the 'last battle he'll have', and how he's going to unleash a gigantic war because the world's too freaking mundane and boring and he's going to burn everything down. "Time to light the match to the biggest war in history" or something along those lines.

(Does he not know Whitebeard's dead? Is he picking a fight with Whitebeard? I think that's going to be a disappointment in goofiness even for One Piece)

Well, holy shit! I certainly didn't expect Kaido to show up here and now of all times, and for him to show up in Kid's base. And I do like how the chapter seems to lead into something that's, well... not quite exactly, y'know, fucking Kaido. I was honestly kind of confused that the chapter seems to be focusing on some random dude that's involved with Kid and Urouge and whatnot. So cool for that. And I certainly didn't expect him to look so... human. I mean, he's got horns and is gigantic as fuck, but he's not, like a monstrous creature or a demon or whatever like the whole 'strongest creature' moniker seemed to suggest. But still considering he's an unkillable immortal thing he might as well as not be a human, I guess? Also I guess the big thing we saw a couple chapters back when Drake and whanot isn't... Kaido? Or are they just on the Sky Island? Eh, not quite important.

Despite the rather 'what the fuck is going on why are we here' moment at the beginning of the segue into Team Sanji, it's certainly an awesome chapter. It's extremely exciting, and an absolute treat to read and just go 'whaaat' at every single page.

So yeah, fuck Wano and the Samurai country and whatever, we've got fucking Kaido and Akainu and the Revolutionary Army and whatnot to contend with. Kinemon and Momonosuke can just kind of disappear and never show up again because holy shit Kaido