Inhumans S01E05 Review: Still Shit

Marvel's Inhumans, Season 1, Episode 5: Something Inhuman This Way Comes

(This week's episodes are delayed. Real life stuff has been... unaccomodating.)

Yeah, this episode still isn't good, if you're hoping that Marvel's Inhumans show suddenly makes a breakthrough and decides to tell a good story. Nope, it's still shit. We're still going around the same old story beats we've been doing for the past four episodes. Crystal is still befriending a human and being surprised that humans are nice, and the human surfer dude is all like groovy, man. (How stupid is it for Cyrstal to run around and swim with hunky surfer dude when her family is quite literally in mortal peril?) Karnak is going through a very strange plotline involving drug dealers and the jealous boyfriend of the lady he saves, and he gets to kung-fu-swing a bamboo because of course. Gorgon gets to slam the ground once, and gets some flashbacks to re-establish 'Karnak smort, Gorgon duuumb'. Because we need to be reminded like five times throughout this episode that Karnak is trying to not overthink things the way Gorgon does. God, it's so inelegant.

Also, is anyone even invested in the Karnak/DrugLady romance? I talked a bit when reviewing Netflix's Death Note that sometimes romance subplots are just inserted for the hell of it, but Inhumans makes Death Note look subtle in comparison. And, by god, it's just a stupid subplot by itself. Where Agents of SHIELD, who aren't even allowed by the studio to play with the big-name Inhumans, manages to tell far more engaging stories with the Inhumans on the island of Afterlife and the government and all that stuff... Inhumans instead decides to tell a poorly told story about pot dealers. It's not even a good pot dealer story! 

Oh, and can I just point out how stupid it is that no one ever actually uses their powers, but wer're forced to stick through a 'our heroes are depowered!' storyline? Dude, I barely remember Karnak's powers half the time, and throughout five episodes I think he's used it maybe twice. Medusa reminds us all of her shaved head once more, and continues to act like a prat. I realize she's actually regal and stuff in the comics, but the show certainly isn't doing us any favours with her portrayal. 

Everyone else other than Crystal ends up being reunited because rather conveniently, the one 'evil' inhuman that Black Bolt, Medusa and Stockholm Woman captures has the ability to track other inhumans. And Stockholm Woman, of course, dares to point out that, hey, she wanted to be a doctor but the Council forced her to become a 'lost-item-finder' because her power involves finding things. Black Bolt and Medusa's reaction? "Sob, sob, husband, why can't they see that we're trying to help them, even though we're saying blatantly classist things such as how-dare-you-question-your-king?" Yeah. The show is being absolutely shit at trying to get the Inhuman Royal Family to actually be likable. You can't just expect to feed us "hey, they feel bad but there's nothing they could do" and have us root for them. Oh, and Locus immediately dies, because who cares about one of the few characters with a sympathetic viewpoint on the Atillan culture? Certainly not the show makers.

• Meanwhile, Dr. Declan ends up getting taken hostage by Auran, who regenerates in front of him, and regroups with Mordis who has been spending the entire episode walking around in circles. Or some shit. And Maximus goes through basically the same plotline he did last episode. So yeah. The episode's still shit, and I don't really have much hope that the rest of the series can get any better. I just pity the actors, and hope that if this series gets a second season (which I highly doubt) the actors will actually get to act out a proper script instead of this horrid abomination.