Reviewing Pokemon's Human Characters - Alola

The last one of these 'reviewing human characters in Pokemon' bits I'll be doing for a while, because, well, not all the Galar DLC is out just yet. It's been fun and frankly I'm surprised I managed to keep this up way past where I thought I would clock out.

The Alola games are... they're interesting. Opinion is divided among them because really, which generation of Pokemon games didn't have its detractors and lovers? And as a piece of fiction, as a story, and as a location, Sun and Moon are great. Sure, the decision to have the whole 'happy Hawaii tropical vacation fun time' cross over with some creepy, bizarre extra-dimensional jellyfish elder being plot is an interesting one, but honestly, I've actually always liked that juxtaposition between the two sides of the Alolan games. The story is easily the strongest among all the main-series Pokemon games, it's just such a shame that the story ends up coming to us at the expense of gameplay experience because of the sheer frequency and length of cutscenes. It's more and more a bit of a problem that I see with the newer generation games, where the routes and places to explore between the cutscenes of the story aren't quite long enough. That's not the point of this review, though, because we're again talking about the characters.

Elio & Selene

• Position: Protagonist
• Japanese Name: Yo & Mizuki

Like the XY protagonists, Sun and Moon feature a very customizable protagonist so chances are you're barely going to see 'Elio' and 'Selene' here in their basic forms, whether you're playing Sun and Moon or their Ultra versions. Also, I get it, their names are literally sun and moon. Elio's first look is another boring one, although at least his striped T-shirt looks significantly different from a vast majority of other male protagonists. His Ultra appearance makes him truly look unique and I totally buy him living in Pokemon world's equivalent of Hawaii. Selene, as usual, looks far more unique, although there really isn't much to say about her beyond 'yep she sure does look like she lives in a tropical island'. I really like the goofy glove-hat she has in her first appearance, it looks so wacky.


Hau

• Position: Rival
• Japanese Name: Hau

I'm not actually going to go too deep into talking about these characters' stories in-game, because that'd take a bit too much time and I've gone pretty in-depth with two text-based Let's Plays about Alola. Suffice to say that, for the most part, I did find all of Alola's characters to be charming. The main rival, Hau, is probably my least favourite of all the main cast, but... he's just so gosh-darned well-mannered and generally laid-back and happy that it's hard to actively like him. He's just a bit of an utterly happy-go-lucky airhead, and I feel emphasizes around the first half of Sun/Moon exceptionally well, where it's just a happy fun journey in Poke-Hawaii. In the Ultra games, though, he gets a bit more serious and actually trains to be a bit more powerful because he's tired of being useless in times of crisis. Admittedly his story is still a bit overshadowed by everything else that's going on in the main story, but it's something and I do appreciate it. He's basically an equivalent to Shauna or Bianca, but a lot more laid-back and a lot less energetic than those two, and with a much, much bigger appetite for malasadas.

There's a neat backstory here that was a bit lost on me in Sun/Moon, but in the Ultra games where Hau is so introspective sort of leads me to put the pieces of his story together. Hau's laid-back and non-confrontational because as a kid he was traumatized when he saw his grandpa Hala in a massive angry fit, and this childhood trauma led to Hala raising Hau in an extra-soft manner. Which is all well and good for Hau until he ends up falling face-first into the world of street gangs, totem gods and extra-dimensional jellyfish beings.

Design-wise Hau's nothing to really talk home about, he's just some dude with a shirt and shorts. He's probably the first rival since Blue to really look like just your literal next-door neighbour, though. In Sun/Moon he's one of the potential final fights you face in the Pokemon League, because unlike previous games, you are the champion and the final fight you see when you repeat the Elite Four run is taken from a random pool of characters you meet in the game, Hau being one of them. His team is frankly not too impressive in Sun/Moon, picking the starter weaker to you, always having an Alolan Raichu and an Eeveelution and otherwise having a bit of a random selection of Pokemon.

Lillie

• Position: Get Back In The Bag
• Japanese Name: Lillie

Lillie is the N equivalent in this game, the NPC who has the story really revolve around her. Unlike N, though, Lillie is much better-written, much more likable, and basically starting off as being one of your friends instead of being a weirdo who spouts nonsense makes Lillie a lot more endearing straight off the bat. In both versions of the games, Lillie initially fills in a very common role in fiction -- a mysterious girl with a mysterious past, and she's always hanging out with the mysterious 'Nebby', a Cosmog that she keeps trying to put into the bag. It's kind of symbolic of what Lillie herself is doing, constantly suppressing herself and wearing the clothes picked out by her mother (who is obsessed with the Ultra Beast Nihilego and dresses Lillie to look similar to it) and generally being extremely unsure of herself and being afraid of Pokemon. As you progress in your journey, Lillie ends up taking matters into her own hands and picking out her own clothes and hairstyle in a pretty well-written scene of 'finding yourself'. It's interesting hwo this is reflected in both her artworks even though that second Lillie piece is released much later, where she's a lot more rigid in the first piece of artwork. Again, I'm not going to really say much because that'd involve recapping the whole story of the Generation VII games, and I already did that twice.

A lot of people complain about Lillie, noting that her rich and long story should've been given to the protagonist instead to make them the focus of the games. And while I can certainly see the reasoning, I'm happy to see a good story wherever it is. She's pretty well-written.

Gladion

• Position: Rival/Team Skull
• Japanese Name: Glazio

Gladion is a mysterious member of Team Skull who you meet around halfway through the game and fights you with his own mysterious, unique pokemon, Type: Null. And he sure is edgy-as-hell, wearing ripped-up black hoodies, covering one of his eyes with his hair, obsessed with strength, and he's an over-the-top parody of those edgy, too-cool-for-you bad boy characters you see all the time in anime. He's like a bad parody of Uchiha Sasuke. And turns out... that's what he's actually meant to be. He's joined a gang, he's ran away from home after stealing one of her mother's experimental Pokemon, and he's basically acting like a gigantic emo punk because it's essentially him acting out, and I do adore that Gladion really mellows out a lot later.

He starts off as a right tit, though, and while he shows up a bit later into your journey compared to Hau, he's probably the game makers' response to all the outcries of 'stop making our rivals nice guys'. He's basically Silver done right, because Silver in the original Johto games is just this vaguely nebulous presence that peters out later on, whereas we actually get to see Gladion genuinely realize that his hard-ass attitude really isn't good for much. He's also Lillie's brother, and, well... it's basically different ways of acting out. I won't really spoil too much of the Alola story, but I can easily say that Gladion's my favourite of the three rival/companion characters. Gladion's team over the two games, in addition to his signature Type: Null/Silvally, is a neat combination of 'edgy' Pokemon (Crobat, Weavile, Zoroark, Porygon-Z and pretty hilariously Lucario) and Pokemon that actually are huge softies at heart. Lucario is obviously mostly a heroic archetype, Zoroark is often shown to have a softer side, Silvally and Crobat evolves through friendship... and I can totally see that this kid makes his team up solely because half of his team is 'broken' or 'misunderstood' Pokemon. Again, I do like that he eventually mellows out and his Type: Null buddy, the experimental weapon condemned to being shelved, ends up achieving its true, happier form as a huge chimera-dog.

Also, whether it be the games, anime, trading cards or manga, I am happy that everyone involved in the creative team of Pokemon realizes the utter hilarity of Gladion's absurd arm gestures and represents it in some way.


Professor Kukui

• Position: Pokemon Professor, Woo; Champion
• Japanese Name: Kukui-hakase

For the first time in one of these reviews, the Professor gets to be placed right after the rivals because it really doesn't seem right to have Kukui slumming it at the bottom of the review with the rest. See, in most Pokemon games, the Professor is really only relevant at the beginning of the game, giving that 'welcome to the Pokemon World' talk, maybe showing up once or twice more during your journey, and later at the end. Not so for Kukui. He's basically there for almost the entirety of your journey, inviting you to Alola with a video call, and is generally a huge, huge presence as this very cheerful neighbour who is that one guy in the neighbourhood who's too excited to have someone new hang out. His realm of expertise is Pokemon moves, which translates to Kukui allowing his pet Rockruff to attack him and cause all sorts of chaos in his very messy research lab (which has hastily-patched holes on the roof) that's like this large shack in a beach. Also he's shirtless all the time even though he wears a lab coat, a fact that the fandom at the time really appreciates.

And his personality is... oh-so-excited. Everyone in the Pokemon world (except for Lillie) is already excited about Pokemon 24/7, but Kukui ramps it up to a lot higher. And as you journey on through your island trials and later get sucked into the whole Aether/Ultra Beast plot. You also learn that he is a huge celebrity pro wrestler called the Masked Royal, where he is extremely popular. Hilariously, despite using a Rockruff as the Masked Royal and despite the identity being absolutely clear to the players, the (very poorly guarded) kayfabe is apparently good enough to fool not just Hau... but even Kukui's own wife, who is a huge, huge Masked Royal fangirl. I'm not entirely sure if Kukui is that good at maintaining his identity or if everyone is just humouring him.

He's also a dude that has his own goals,  because while you were around completing your island challenge, Kukui looks up at the top of the peak of the highest mountain in Alola and he really wants to establish a pokemon league there to show off Alola's moves to the world. And... and he ends up being the first champion, facing off against you as the final trainer in the Elite Four/Champion challenge of Sun and Moon and using the starter you are weak to! And his team of Lycanroc, Alolan Ninetales, Braviary, Snorlax and Magnezone aren't a pushover either! He doesn't become the first champion challenge in Ultra (that's Hau) but the fact that you have a professor as the final battle of a game's main story is a hilarious call-back to all the rumours that Professor Oak is a secret boss with level 200 starters or whatever back in the day. I like Kukui a lot, he's a cool dude.

Ilima

• Position: Trial Captain
• Japanese Name: Ilima
• Specialization: Normal

Instead of gym leaders, we have trial captains in Alola, who, instead of fighting you at the end of a huge puzzle-covered gym, is just the host for a trial segment where they ask you to do some non-battle related puzzle, and then fight a massive, overly-empowered Totem Pokemon. The actual fights you have with them sure do exist, but they tend to be the Trial Captains themselves being curious about you. Ilima is probably one of the less memorable supporting characters here, although I do like his little vest. Ilima is modeled a bit after a high-class transfer student, coming to Alola from Kalos, living in a mansion and being a bit of a superstar in the nearby Trainer's School. While calm and very polite, Ilima isn't a snob in any way. That does leave him a bit bland and boring, though. Ilima is a Normal-type trainer, and is associated with the local 'regional rodent', Yungoos. Not really much to say here, if we're being honest. 

Hala

• Position: Kahuna / Elite Four
• Japanese Name: Hala
• Specialization: Fighting

Hala is the Kahuna of Melemele Island, which is basically the island leader and one that you actually have to beat in a trainer battle after clearing all of the trials on that island. Hala's also Hau's grandfather. He's honestly nothing particularly special, just a likable old dude dressed in one of those outfits that you see older Japanese men that practice martial arts often do. Hala's a martial arts practitioner himself and is primarily associated with the Crabrawler and Makuhita line. I'm not too knowledgeable about this, but I guess like Makuhita/Hariyama his pose is at least partially based on a sumo fighter as well? I guess the nice-old-grandpa vibe he has here is him after his temper mellowed out because he felt bad that he traumatized his young grandson. He's a nice dude.

You will also see him later on, doot-doo-doo, just a kahuna on a stroll to a laguna, before he straight up fights an extra-dimensional alien bug monster alongside Tapu Koko. That's awesome! Hala, alongside most of the other Kahuna, turn out to be recruited to become this region's version of the Elite Four, which I thought was pretty cool that you actually see these characters being established as badasses before you actually meet them in the Elite Four. 

Lana

• Position: Trial Captain
• Japanese Name: Suiren
• Specialization: Water

Lana is a sweet, shy little girl that's the trial captain of Brooklet Hill, compared to the far, far louder personalities of her fellow Akala Island captains Kiawe and Mallow. Turns out, though, that personality and that very unsure-looking eyes hides the personality of a massive troll, because Lana's whole trial involves her obfuscating stupidity and keeps talking about how she totally caught a shiny red Gyarados or how there's a strapping young swimmer or telling you that you're going to have to fight the embodiment of the sea, the legendary Kyogre. I kinda feel like she's one of those people who has a really sweet-but-deadpan voice and you're not sure when she is joking or not.

I make it a rule not to talk about their anime counterparts a lot, but Lana's anime counterpart plays up the 'shy meek cutie-pie' personality to a tilt, which, coupled with her great voice acting, is amazing. The Adventures manga, though, chooses another interpretation for her. See, Lana's totem Pokemon is either a terrifying Wishiwashi or a horrifying Araquanid... and turns out that manga!Lana, when fighting, basically switches onto a 'battle mode' where she's all fierce and violent. That's neat. Design-wise I feel like between the outfit and the hair, Lana's the perfect middle ground between a design that's believably mundane but also memorable enough.


Kiawe

• Position: Trial Captain
• Japanese Name: Kaki
• Specialization: Fire

The trial captain of the Wela Volcano Park is Kiawe, who you'd think is an angry, boisterous hothead. And he kinda is, and his design certainly communicates it, being a shirtless dude that's constantly yelling and dancing. Kiawe projects like this super-serious vibe in the games, and when you approach him on top of his volcano it looks like his trial is going to, if not a battle, then something a bit more epic. Turns out it's the most goofy 'spot the difference' game ever that is intentionally dumbed-down and is so ridiculously dumb that it really shows what a goof Kiawe really is. While in the original games he partners up with a Totem Salazzle, his personal team and his challenge in the Ultra games has him be associated with the fire-dancing Alolan Marowak, which is basically tailor-made to him. I guess the whole fire-dancing thing is one of the main inspirations for the Z-Move dances? Not too much to say about him, but the fact that he's secretly a doofus makes him a bit more memorable than he otherwise would be.


Mallow

• Position: Trial Captain
• Japanese Name: Mao
• Specialization: Grass

The third and final trial captain of Akala basically rounds up the starter type trio, with Mallow here representing the Grass type in Lush Jungle. Her trial basically has you run around the jungle and trying to scavenge ingredients for her to make a dish to summon the absolutely fun boss battle that is the Totem Lurantis. She's got a very cool design between her hair and her outfit, and if Lana and Kiawe's reactions are anything to go by, she's a terrible cook. She's cooking to summon a giant mantis-flower creature, though, so is it really surprising that it doesn't taste good to humans? She's energetic and otherwise pretty likable, but I don't really think there's much to say about here. There are these little story bits in the post-game where you can discover things about the trial captains, and apparently Mallow's like supposed to take over the family restaurant but she's trying to enjoy her youth by being carefree and whatnot. 

The Sun/Moon anime, by the way, ends up with all of the younger members of the game's cast (basically Kiawe, Lana, Mallow, Sophocles and Lillie) all attending a school together with Ash and this gives it a whole fun, wacky-fun-times vibe that makes the whole Sun/Moon season an interesting, fresh vibe with a far more stylized and over-the-top artwork. 

Olivia

• Position: Kahuna / Elite Four
• Japanese Name: Lychee
• Specialization: Rock

The Kahuna of Akala Island, Olivia is immensely popular in the fandom and I remember that when the Alolan games came out, Olivia is basically everyone's 'waifu'. The 3DS models aren't like, super-detailed and is stylized and all, but even the games do have a couple moments of male gaze when introducing us to Olivia or showing her Z-Move. Olivia herself is the owner of a jewelry store, with her own person covered in all sorts of trinkets and bangles, and that's a neat direction to take a Rock-type trainer. She's a pretty badass lady all in all, and I do appreciate her interestingly wide selection of Rock Pokemon from an aesthetic standpoint. Her 'ace' is the badass werewolf Midnight Lycanroc, but her favourite Pokemon seems to be her Probopass, who she allows out of her Pokeball all the time. Like Hala, she ends up becoming a member of the Elite Four. Not a whole ton to say from me, really. She's a pretty cool character and design.

Sophocles

• Position: Trial Captain
• Japanese Name: Mamane
• Specialization: Electric

Sophocles is a bit of a repeat on Clemont, although he's integrated a bit better to the game. See, Sophocles is the kid genius who creates the 'Festival Plaza', a.k.a. the bottom screen of your 3DS where you can visit and access all of the weird Wi-Fi stuff that the game tries to handwave in-universe. Sophocles himself is kind of a child genius that's a different sort from Clemont, being more of an introverted, socially-awkward tech whiz than a manic inventor, and I do like his cute Game Boy Color shirt. 

Sophocles is the trial captain for the Hokulani Observatory in Ula'ula Island, and is noted to have just succeeded his cousin Molayne, and being socially awkward and an introvert, Sophocles's attempt to 'ping' a Totem Vikavolt ends up kind of causing all sorts of chaos. Unlike the other Trial Captains, apparently the game designers have a soft spot for Sophocles because he ends up being one of the potential final challengers for your Pokemon League, where he's packing a lot of very fearsome-looking Electric-types like Electivire, Alolan Golem and Vikavolt. Bet that Togedemaru threw you off, huh? 

Acerola

• Position: Trial Captain / Elite Four
• Japanese Name: Acerola
• Specialization: Ghost

They tried to fit a lot into Acerola, huh? She's a creepy ghost-themed girl with eeriely serene eyes, she's a Trial Captain, she is an Elite Four member, she's the older kid taking care of kids in an orphanage, and also she's the last living member of the royal family of Alola, which seems to be a random detail that's there to give us an excuse to have Acerola go into an exposition dump. She's likable and the writing's competent enough to make most of these work, but I did feel like the bit about her being the last living member of the royal line comes out of nowhere. 

Acerola's design is pretty charming, with her tattered witch-dress being neat and the kid's personality being charmingly bubbly as she basically nags her 'uncle' Nanu to no end. Her trial involves you going into an abandoned supermarket to take photographs of all the poltergeists wreaking havoc there, which is a fun pastiche on ghost-hunting shows, before you finally fight a monstrous Totem Mimikyu that Acerola claims to have nothing to do with her trial, and the room that you fight the Totem Mimikyu in is empty. Spooky! This seems to actually be true, too, because none of Acerola's teams actually ever featured a Mimikyu at all, and her signature Pokemon is her Pallosand. Because Nanu is tired at the world and generally just done with it all, Acerola ends up taking his place as Ula'ula's representative in the Elite Four. 

Nanu

• Position: Kahuna
• Japanese Name: Kuchinasi
• Specialization: Dark

A lot of the Melemele and Akala characters are honestly kind of a likable but ultimately one-note character trope, but Nanu here is a lot more fleshed out than I thought! He's probably one of my personal favourites, because Nanu is basically your mood when you wake up after a terrible's night's sleep, ran out of coffee but have to go out to work and socialize with people. UGH. Nanu is just so tired to deal with all this Team Skull gangsters running around or all these trial-goers running around with all their cheerfulness and energy and this little chirpy girl who insists on adopting him as an uncle keeps dragging him to do stuff. UGH.

Honestly, Nanu's vibe is great. He is a policeman living in the same island as Po Town, the abandoned town that Team Skull has taken over, and Team Skull is... well, the most nonsensical, loud, rowdy and energetic evil team out there. Poor Nanu. Yet he's also got it to drag himself out of bed and drag his ass to help you and your buddies attack Team Skull and Aether Foundation. The post-game reveals that he's actually a member of the International Police, and he's known as Agent 000, and it's heavily implied that his 'tired' attitude stems from a particularly bad mission where he and Looker failed to protect a 'Faller' from a Guzzlord. He also ends up fighting a Guzzlord off-screen in the Ultra games. In his various teams that you encounter him in, he always has a Sableye, a Krokorok and his ace, Alolan Persian, but you don't really fight him a lot because he doesn't give a shit about his responsibilities and pawns off his Elite Four membership on his kid Acerola.

It'd be enough if he's just a tired old cop who doesn't want to give a fuck but knows he has to, but he's also, like almost everyone on Alola, secretly a goof. In the credits sequence when all the trial captains and kahunas are doing their Z-move dance, we get a hilarious cutaway to see Nanu in the bushes joining in. And at one point later on you can see Nanu trying to give off a starter Pokemon to a young kid on his island, but all he ends up doing is telling the kid to pick out of a selection of... Alolan Meowth, Alolan Meowth and Alolan Meowth. Yep, Nanu's the tired-dude version of a crazy cat lady, because his entire house is filled with Meowths. He's a vibe. I like him.

Mina

• Position: Trial Captain
• Japanese Name: Matsurika
• Specialization: Fairy

In an interesting choice, Poni Island, the final island, doesn't actually have a trial captain and instead you fight the Totem Kommo-o on its own. Turns out, in the post game, it's supposed to have one... it's just that Mina is so eccentric and air-headed that she doesn't really care about her responsibilities. She's a painter, but her paint-splattered design and the general vibe you get from her is that she's kind of a slob, doesn't care about anything but her art and seems to be high on something 24/7. Her dad calls her a 'fey vagabond', which is a very interesting take on a Fairy-type trainer. Apparently this happened because her Snubbull destroyed her painting in trying to show its appreciation, but Mina ends up taking this as a critique? Okay? 

It's noted that her original trial was supposed to be a drawing competition, but by the time you meet her in Ultra it ends up being kind of a battle gauntlet where you have to fight all the other trial captains. In the original Sun/Moon she doesn't even bother, she just wanders around, all confused, dumps the requisite Z-crystal on you before prancing off. She also makes an unexpected cameo in Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee, the Kanto game remakes for the Switch, where she ends up being left behind by the S.S. Anne because she's so forgetful. Not a favourite of mine, but certainly memorable. 

Hapu

• Position: Kahuna / Elite Four
• Japanese Name: Hapu'u
• Specialization: Ground

You meet Hapu very early on in your journey relative to when you fight her, and Hapu's like a cute little farmer girl that I genuinely thought was just someone's small grandma when I first saw her in-game. She's a neat kid, really loves her Mudsdale, and is always seen in the company of her giant mud horse. Despite her being kind of a kid, Hapu is actually one of the most mature, no-nonsense characters, and this is, I think, implied to stem from her trying to become worthy to be selected as the island Kahuna by the island's guardian, Tapu Fini. You actually see her being selected after several years of Poni Island not having a Kahuna (and the pressure that all the islanders basically look for her as the best trainer in her island), which is pretty cool, and her team of Ground Pokemon is also quite an impressive fight. Something that I didn't quite realize is that she's also extremely knowledegable about the legendary Pokemon because the legends take place on her specific island, and she's basically one of Lillie's 'mentors', helping to befriend her and basically letting her assert her independence and stuff. However, despite being a Kahuna, Hapu apparently declines (or isn't invited? It wasn't clear) being part of Alola's Elite Four and is instead one of the potential final challengers for the Alolan league. 

Kahili

• Position: Elite Four
• Japanese Name: Kahili
• Specialization: Flying

While I did like that the Elite Four are all characters we have met before, in both versions of the Alolan games we get this random chick Kahili who shows up out of nowhere. You've met and talked to and fought against Hala, Olivia and Acerola before, and you thought the final member was going to be Hapu... and turns out that it's this random golfer chick Kahili whose only mention in the entire game up to that point is one obscure NPC in a pretty huge hotel area. It's basically like most of other Elite Four members in other games, huh? I do like the stripes on her golfing outfit, the light-blue hair as well as her Toucannon-themed golfing stick. She's a Flying-type trainer and I never would've equated golfing with birds. It honestly feels so random in a game whose all of its NPCs have been pretty prominent, and I actually think it's hilarious. Her official art and all of her in-game models give her this stern, non-smiling look, so I always kind of remembered her as being a bit stuck-up but turns out she's a nice lady, every single line of dialogue from her is friendly .

Molayne

• Position: Elite Four
• Japanese Name: Mullein
• Specialization: Steel

Molayne was the original trial captain of Hokulani Observatory, and he's just this 'aw jeez' dude in a suit. He's Sophocles's older cousin and basically handed down his position to him. Molayne, for the first time in a long while, is also a PC Box manager who's got a unique model and artwork and everything since... since... jeez, not even Lanette from the third generation got artwork. He's also the contemporary of your mentor Professor Kukui, but in the original Sun and Moon he basically just shows up to introduce Sophocles to you like a proud parent, fight you a bit and then make gags about Kukui. He's a satellite character... until you become a champion and Molayne ends up being one of the potential challengers, complete with a decked-out Steel-type team. He just looks like some geeky dude, but then again he also looks like, well, me. So I do have a soft spot for Molayne. In the Ultra games, Hala doesn't want to become an Elite Four member, so Molayne is the one who gets invited in that version. Good on you, Molayne!

Team Skull Grunts

And now we go to the 'evil team' of this game. Or, rather the decoy evil team for this game. Look at these guys. Loud dyed hair, skull caps, mouth-covering mask thing, and an absolutely gangsta look? Both the male and female Team Skull grunts actually do look pretty badass, and I remembered how everyone, myself included, thought that this was probably going to be a pretty badass evil team. Oh boy they sure got us on that one, huh? Team Skull is more of a parody of street punks. Just look at them! And it's not that walking while aggressively gesticulating in a vaguely rapping fashion is non-threatening, no. That music is great, the walk cycle is great, but the dialogue for these guys (Team Skull's rap dialogue is a treasure trove) and their plans (at one point they tried to rob a street sign) just makes it clear that unlike the previous six evil teams, Team Skull isn't really an evil gang, not really. They're a bunch of teenaged punks who thinks they're an evil gang. They think they're these badass rebel terrorists, but really the only members of Team Skull who's even remotely threatening are the three leaders. They can't even do petty crimes right, it's hilarious.

And of course there's their backstory. See, Team Skull hangs out in the abandoned, graffiti-laden and absolutely depressing Po Town, and while they were wacky nutjobs throughout the game, it's clear by that point that, well, Team Skull is for the most part just a gang of poor, mistreated kids who found camaraderie around their pretty strong leader. And then because some rich lady decided to sponsor them, they basically get roped into doing their dirty work while getting all of the bad press. Both are very great story beats, and turns out that their whole goal all along is just to make their big boss happy because he took them in. Aww.

Guzma

• Position: It's Your Boy; Team Skull Boss
• Japanese Name: Guzma
• Specialization: Bug

It's your boy, Guzma! Guzma is a pretty tall, imposing dude, and he shows up and talks a really big game about how he's 'the hated boss that beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up', and has this vibe of a hammy gang leader about him. And unlike the rest of Team Skull, Guzma is actually somewhat threatening. And he behaves mostly as what you expect the leader of a street punk gang to behave, and later on ends up becoming Lusamine's main henchman. He's hammy, he talks a big game, and he puts up this hostile, badass image as he yells around insults and builds himself up. Any time he gets defeated he just grabs his head and yells "Guzma!!! What is wrong with you??!" And his theme song is pretty great. I also really liked that wacky sunglasses. Honestly, I would've liked him by his hamminess alone.

But Guzma is a bit more complex than that. Guzma's actually a failure multiple times over, having gone on the island trial around the time that Kukui did and failing miserably at it, and clearly feeling a whole lot of resentment and anger at that. He can't be a captain, his previous group was apparently 'struck down' by the Tapus, and we actually get to go into his house and discover that not only did his father beat him (when Guzma got older he beat his dad up) but his entire room is filled with bronze and silver prizes. Honestly, that ends up casting a pretty dark shade on Guzma's behaviour. Why despite all of the Team Skull grunts seemingly looking him as a great big bro, he ends up coming in with lines like he's going to "beat you down and never let up" or screaming "Guzma! What is wrong with you" upon his defeat. He latches on to Lusamine, the first older adult who gives him the time of the day, because he never got that approval as a kid. He hoards all of the Buginium Z in Alola in his room not because he can use it, but because he just wants to deny anyone else in Alola being a stronger Bug-type trainer than he is. Hell, even his main partner Golisopod is basically perfectly made for him -- absolutely terrifying when you see it visually, but beat him out to half his health and he'll wimp out.

So much of Guzma's characterization in this game revolves around fear -- he's trying to be the most feared trainer on the islands out of spite, and he's channeling the person he fears the most. You later see him as he attempts to be a better person, and the genesis for that is when he feels 'true fear' upon being sucked into Nihilego's dimension, and later on he ends up turning a new leaf and trying to forge Team Skull into a group that doesn't cause mayhem. In the Ultra games, he even ends up being one of the potential Pokemon League challenges, trying to prove himself as the strongest the right way, and, shit, even helps you fight Team Rocket. A glorious character.

Plumeria

• Position: Team Skull Admin
• Japanese Name: Plumeri
• Specialization: Poison

That said, though... I really don't have much to say about Plumeria other than to comment on her fashion choices.  She looks absolutely awesome, and that pink-and-yellow hair coming out of skull-shaped ornaments is awesome. Still, she has more personality than all of the admins of the previous two generations combined, and it's a nice way to keep things simple with just reducing Team Skull's infrastructure to just the essentials. While Guzma is more hammy, Plumeria is just the serious, no-nonsense cool big sister whose reason to fight you is more because she's angry that you're beating on her 'cute, dumb' little brothers and sisters. Plumeria's also at least competent when she's a villain, kidnapping Lillie and beating up Hau off-screen while you're distracted. And after Guzma seemingly disappears, challenges you to a fight with the rest of the Skull grunts to see if you're 'worthy' of going off and trying to rescue him. She looks pretty rad, and she's a Poison-type trainer. Plumeria is one of the potential challengers for your title at the League in both versions of games, something that not Guzma can claim to be. Her ace Pokemon is a Salazzle, which is very appropriate. Pretty cool, and easily the most badass of the Team Skull members. 

Aether Foundation Employee
The actual main bad guys is this organization, Aether Foundation, who dresses all its members up in these chic futuristic bodysuits that have way too many pouches. And... they're not quite the main bad guys per se? At least not in the traditional sense. You see these Aether guys all around Alola, helping in restoring Pokemon habitats, letting the Corsola population recover from being snacked upon by Mareanie, and looking for lost Pokemon and the like. Obviously the entire fandom quickly calls out that they look like a typical evil team anyway and that there's something sinister, maybe we're going to have two competing evil factions? And as it turns out, kind of? Team Skull is certainly a rowdy bunch that does evil stuff, but most of Aether Foundation is actually dedicated to all the good Greenpeace stuff they were championing. Their giant sci-fi James Bond movie base in the middle of the ocean is actually meant to be there for habitat restoration purposes. Hell, they even built an orphanage!

It's just that, well, their leader is the only real bad guy among the group. Her and maybe a couple of select employees that run whatever hideous lab they set up to artificially create the tortured super-weapon pokemon Type: Null. And whoever captured Cosmog and did experiments on it. But the vibe is that for the most part, all of the Aether underlings who fight you are just doing their job, fighting a bunch of intruders or protecting their company's secrets without necessarily knowing what they're doing. It's like when Batman has to beat up a bunch of cops to get to where he needs to get to, yeah? I did kind of like that. Also, at least some of the employees in the secret lab sub-levels walk around in these lab-coats with full-on space astronaut masks, it's creepy. I really do like that the Aether goons' Pokemon are extremely varied, pulling from all over the pokedex. It's always what made a lot of the other evil teams such a slog because they only pull from four or five evil-looking Pokemon families. Not actually being a traditional evil team means that Aether's employees can use whatever Pokemon they want!

Lusamine

• Position: Aether Foundation President
• Japanese Name: Lusamine

While most of Aether is just doing their jobs and Team Skull is a bunch of punks who, while a nuisance, isn't actually evil, Lusamine here is actually the main villain of the story, and let's just say that Lusamine's glorious Snorunt-shaped hair is the most ridiculous hair in Pokemon. The seemingly-young (she claims to at least be 40 years old) president of Aether Foundation and the mom to Lillie and Gladion, Lusamine initially appears to you as a nice older lady in a neat dress whose facility just happens to get attacked by an inter-dimensional visitor, a floating jellyfish. Her being Lillie's mom isn't really that huge of a twist, but her ambitions turn out to be that she is absolutely obsessed with capturing Ultra Beasts Nihilego. We later (and briefly) learn that this is because Lusamine's husband Mohn was sucked into an Ultra Wormhole in the distant past, and Lusamine became extremely obsessed with hunting down Mohn, eventually forgetting about her main goal and making it just about the Ultra beasts. This turned Lusamine into a terrible mother who keeps putting down Gladion and Lillie, seeing the two as nothing but disappointments and at least in Lillie's case, started dressing her up as Nihilego.


Her obsession with that ends up causing her to channel Aether Foundation's efforts into, well, basically hunting down Nihilego, who she views as utterly beautiful and the pinnacle of beauty, and despite her foundation being built on protecting all Pokemon, when you actually do fight her you see that she's frozen everything she considers 'beautiful', to 'protect' them for all eternity. Her team is made up of Pokemon that are traditionally cute (Bewear, Lopunny, Clefable) or pretty (Liligant, Milotic, Mismagius). She manages to tear holes between dimensions, get sucked into Nihilego's dimension and fused with a Nihilego to turn into a giant jellyfish-monster thing, which, of course, I absolutely adore. We've covered Lusamine-Nihilego before, though.

It's just such a shame that we later learn that all of Lusamine's jackassery as a villain and a terrible mom comes from... Nihilego's psycho-active toxin. Which sets her up for redemption and stuff, but I kind of don't like it? It feels like a bit of a cheap cop-out, but eh, her story is still pretty fascinating and a great part of the Alolan games. At least Sun and Moon -- she basically gets shafted in the Ultra games. She does get to reunite with Mohn there, but Mohn's amnesiac and it's ultimately treated as an afterthought. Heck, Mohn himself does feel like an afterthought, barely memorable in the Poke Pelago mini-game. Lusamine's cool, though.


Faba

• Position: Aether Foundation
• Japanese Name: Sauboh
• Specialization: Psychic

Aether Foundation has two more named characters, with Faba here being a gigantic prick. His bizarre lab-coat-meets-posh-clothing vibe and the lime green accents he has, added with those stupid-looking goggles and that smirk, basically tells you all you need to know about him. He's a giant asshole, he looks down on everyone, and next to Lusamine he's the most assholish member of Aether. And he doesn't even have the fallback excuse of being mind-controlled by a space jellyfish. His personality is an ass, although I did remember him constantly ranting about those meddling kids messing with the adults' plans and stuff. I did remember him being an absolute pushover with his Hypno and his team of frankly underwhelming Psychic-types. In Sun/Moon he ends up being a potential league challenger, but in Ultra, he turns out to be the bad guy who works with Giovanni and the other members of Team Rainbow Rocket to take over Aether. Design wise, though, Faba's pretty memorable even if there's nothing I particularly like about him. 

Wicke

• Position: Aether Foundation
• Japanese Name: Wicke

Oh boy, I'm really not making good on my promise of not talking too much about the characters, huh? Sorry. Team Skull and Aether Foundation just got me talking. Wicke is the face of all the other non-evil members of Aether Foundation, acting as an absolutely kind lady who gives us TM's and malasadas and sends us on along our way, and basically brings in some stability to Aether after Lusamine causes a whole lot of havoc. She's got a fun pink tweed-shirt thing going on. I've honestly never found her that memorable, but I know a lot of people out there like her a lot. She looks neat aesthetically if nothing else.

Professor Burnet

• Position: Pokemon Professor
• Japanese Name: Burnet-hakase

Surprising everyone, Professor Burnet actually debuted all the way back in Generation 5, in the very gimmicky Dream Radar side-series that's meant to tie into the Black 2 and White 2 games. There she's this lady in a black bodysuit, with goggles and a lab-coat, but is otherwise unremarkable. Most of the side-game characters have kind of been, which is why I didn't do characters like Hayley or Brigette or Snap or maybe of the other characters that show up in other side-games. But hey, Burnet makes her glorious return with a tan as Professor Kukui's wife! I do like that her old skin-tight bodysuit is still there, just wrapped around her waist.

Burnet being involved in the Dream Radar and its 'inter-dream space' actually gives a neat little justification to bring her back, not that you really need justifications to bring back older characters if you're asking me. She helps Kukui to research Ultra Space in a much more refined laboratory. She would honestly be a bit forgettable beyond being Kukui's wife if not for the hilarious character trait of her being a really big fan of the Masked Royal, and, as far as the game implies, it seems like she has absolutely no idea who that is. Or is just that good at hiding that she knows. 

Professor Samson Oak

• Position: Pokemon Professor
• Japanese Name: Nariya Okido

Generation V had two professors, so clearly we needed more! We have Professor Samson Oak here, who doesn't actually have official Sugimori artwork... but does have official anime artwork, so we'll be borrowing that. Samson Oak here is the cousin of the Japanese Professor Oak we know, who is Samuel Oak. Initially joking that he is "Professor Oak's Alolan Form", Samson Oak is basically a darker-skinned Professor Oak with longer hair and a kitschy tropical outfit. And, of course, he's there to study regional variants. What else could it be? Samson Oak is a goofball even if in the games he doesn't really do much other than send you on a bit of a fetch quest to hunt down all of the Kanto regional variants. Not really much to say here.

Ryuki

• Position: League Challenger
• Japanese Name: Ryuki
• Specialization: Dragon

We're almost done here! I did mention multiple times that instead of a regular champion waiting at the end of the Pokemon League all the time, Alola features you as the champion, waiting for some potential challenger to fight you. And you've got a small smattering of random characters you've met across your journey. Hau, Gladion, Professor Kukui, Hapu, Faba, Molayne, Plumeria, Sophocles, Guzma... Youngster Tristan... and then there's this dude,  with a very loud hairdo and an even louder outfit that would look ridiculous in a shonen battle manga, and looks even more ridiculous in this setting where everyone dresses otherwise sensibly. Look at that thing. Look at the amount of spikes on that outfit. He's also a fucking rock-star for some reason, and I didn't even realize until now that his chest-part is supposed to be patterned after Turtonator. I love him, I love that he has no pupils in his eyes. Gladion wishes he could be this edgy. Ryuki claims to be from a 'faraway region', has no real personality beyond 'excited challenger' and as of the time of writing we have no idea where he came from, but I do like him. He's a Dragon trainer, because of course he is.

I am proud of myself for doing that without inserting a Kamen Rider Ryuki joke.

Phyco, Soliera, Dulse & Zossie

• Position: Ultra Recon Squad
• Japanese Name: Shionira, Mirin, Dulse, Amamo

In the Ultra series of games, Aether Foundation (and Colress) is working with these wackos, who are... blue-skinned space-men who arrived from another dimension, from Ultra Megalopolis or something. For as much as I defend Alola's storytelling, I must admit that the Ultra Recon Squad always felt like they were shoehorned into an already-existing plot, and they kind of are. While I feel like the tropical island theme and the Ultra Beasts worked relatively well in conjunction with each other, shoehorning in these extra-dimensional maybe-humans is perhaps one step into wacky-sci-fi that doesn't fit with the game. 

They also really don't have much of a personality beyond being enigmatic, robotic and inquisitive, and... their aesthetic is great, I suppose, and I really would've liked to see them be a bit more memorable, but they're just kind of forgettable. You meet Phyco and Soliera in Ultra Sun, where Phyco is the hmm-hmm-yes smart one twirling his mustache while Soliera is the brute that fights with a Poipole. In Ultra Moon, you get Zossie, the overly-excited little girl, and Dulse, the aggressive brute. They are here to see our world because Necrozma ate the light in theirs, but ultimately the game tries to sell on their mystery so hard that when it turns out that they're not entirely evil or whatever they've sort of fizzled into the background. A huge thumbs-up on looking distinctive, but the Alola games have been pushing actual characterization to us that these guys sort of fall by the wayside. 

Team Rainbow Rocket Grunts
Oh yeah, right, in the Ultra games you have this plotline of Faba working together with Giovanni, who used Ultra Space technology to bring together all of the evil team leaders from the timelines where they won, and they call themselves the 'Team Rainbow Rocket' grunts. It's basically identical to the regular Team Rocket grunt suits, they just swapped the red 'R' sign and some accents with the rainbow. It sounds like something out of a fanfic in all of the most charming ways, and I do like fighting against all of the evil team leaders in this funky evil team base. It's kind of disappointing but extremely on brand that the grunts all just use Kanto's repertoire of evil-looking Pokemon, although at least they did branch out and adopted a bunch of extra new faces like Fearow, Hypno and Primeape. 

More trainer classes. These are the ones introduced in Alola, and like Generation VI, the Alola games also introduced a lot of random custom titles like "Espeon User" and "Route Master" and stuff but they just re-use existing models. There aren't much here because, well, making a new 3D model takes significantly more time than making a sprite, and they had to model the overworld and the Pokemon, too. 

You meet these guys in the school area first, I believe, and you have the Youth Athlete (Supotsu Shonen / Supotsu Shojo; Sports Boy / Sports Girl). I'm not sure why the male ones are all shown to be brats while the girl ones are a bit older, but eh. I really don't have much to say here. 

The Sightseer (Kangokyaku) basically capitalizes on the 'regional variant' gimmick introduced in this game, and since Hawaii is such a tourist-heavy place, Alola's also got its share of tourists. Again, the gimmick is that they use the 'default' or 'Kantonian' version of the Pokemon you see in Alola. It's basically the same thing as Tourists from the previous generation.

The Surfer (Safa) has a lot of beach dude vibes. He looks like a cool dude. I really don't have much to say beyond that. 

Wait, we never had a Cook (Kokku) trainer class before? Apparently we've only been fighting the waitstaff since Unova. Well, now you can fight the cooks themselves! The Generation VII one is holding a Pokeball in his ladle, that poor, poor Pokemon. I really don't have much to say here, it's pretty clear they're just checking off 'occupations we haven't turned into a trainer' off from a list. 

Ditto for the Firefighter (Faiaman). They use water-type Pokemon, obviously, although ones that look like they can literally shoot water. Blastoise isn't in this game, I don't think, but their Pokemon choices of Octillery and Clawitzer make sense. 

Is golfing really huge in Hawaii? Apparently they are in Alola, at least! The Golfer (Gorufa) is here, though, and they're one of those 'any Pokemon can fit them' style of trainer. The female version, sans golf stick, also doubles as the Beauty class of the region. I wouldn't have found them notable at all without the inclusion of Kahili as the 'elite' version of this trainer class, I guess. 

Bellhop (Beruboi; Bellboy)! Because Alola/Hawaii has tourists, and so it has a lot of hotels, and there are a lot of bellhops in hotels. Nothing else, really, it just fits with the vibe of the Hawaii-inspired region. 

I don't really have much to say about the Trial Guide (Shiren Sapata; Trial Supporter). They are basically just kind of there to help you out in your Island Trial as you go around the island, although I guess it's neat to see that the islanders are actually pretty supportive of the trial and, most importantly, are there to make sure that the kids running around going from town to town don't get eaten by a random giant rat or fire tortoise or something. Not all trainers are as competent as your protagonist, after all. 

Pokemon Center Lady (PC Oneesan; P.C. Lady). Oh shit you can fight Nurse Joy in this one? This is basically kind of a little special fight for one of the Pokemon Center nurse-doctor-receptionist ladies because I guess since they had the overworld model modeled in, why not use it for a battle? It's not the first time you fight a nurse (they show up in Unova) but it's the first time you explicitly fight one of the Nurse Joys in Pokemon Center. That's cool.


The Ultra Forest Kartenvoy (Urutora Foresuto no Kamitsukai) is bizarre. He is like this stereotypical dude straight out of a samurai movie, some enigmatic dude that hangs around in the bamboo forest that Kartana hangs out in. I don't actually ever meet this guy because I played Ultra Moon and I ended up going to Celesteela's bizarre rocket realm instead of Kartana's Japanese zen garden, but apparently these humans are just living in Kartana's extra-dimensional space, acting as envoys for Kartana? That adds just such a degree of mystique to Kartana, probably the Ultra Beast I found to be the least unsettling. Apparently they have a cult devoted to them!