Reviewing "Monsters": Neopets

As a kid, I got into Neopets. Man, back in the day, some games are just little browser-based "click things" bits and we loved it. To those uninitiated, you navigate around the Neopets website and its Flash-based maps, shops, mini-games and mini-stories to gather items to feed, clothe and give your virtual pets. Nowadays, I don't think any game designed similarly to Neopets would survive the ADHD attention span of the kids, but good old Neopets are thankfully still around due to establishing a pretty huge fanbase back in the day. I haven't played Neopets in over a decade, mostly because I just really care for the grinding of money (and I really do not care for any game with an actual marketplace/economy system) but I do have some fond memories of it.

I'm going to go through the Neopets Wiki and look at the (surprisingly short) list of available Neopets, and, as usual, give my running commentary of the cute little critters! We'll be reviewing the base forms of the Neopets. Maybe someday if I feel like it I'll review some of the cooler "transformed" versions of these Neopets, because most Neopets are able to be transformed into alternate forms themed after Atlantis (sorry, Maraqua), space aliens, nightmare zombies and the like. Without further ado, and we're going by alphabetical order, although I'll group some of the similar ones together.


Acara here are described as semi-aquatic amphibians, and that's a fun little detail! I've always just thought of them as weird little goat-cats, and I never knew that they are amphibians. You really don't think of mammals as amphibious creatures, and apparently those horns are fun little organs that allow them to 'hear underwater'. Not exactly my kind of thing, but Neopets definitely leans a lot more towards the saccharine, adorable monsters, and the Acara is definitely a great one to start off with since it's basically Neopet 101. Also included next to it are some examples of the "skins" you can transform your Acara into with super-hard-to-get items, including the aquatic-themed Acara, Fairy Acara, and "Mutant" Acara. It's just there to show some of the possible different skins, but I'm not going to do it with all the Neopet specieses.


I'm going to lump the next four together in a row. Aisha here is another of Neopets' neat, adorable little mascot-like creatures. Not that there's anything particularly wrong with mascot-like creatures, and I admit that my personal tastes tend to veer more towards the weird and creepy monsters. They're cute, but they're basically another one of those cat-with-extra-ears similar to the Acara. They are neat.

Blumaroo are like, kangaroo-aardvark things that bounce around their tails. Kinda reminds me of Sentret from Pokemon, but I've honestly always been indifferent about them. I do remember that they, of all creatures, have their own personal dedicated area in the Neopets world. Not much to say here, though I love their droopy-ass faces.

Bori are, obviously, based on the armadillo, but are given a more... approachable dog head-and-chest-fur? And also a long lion-like tail? It's neat, and apparently there's this whole huge backstory on how these armadillo-dog people are awoken from their deep slumber. Neat, and honestly could definitely see them as some sort of Pokemon or something.

Now these I remember! These adorable little penguins with bowties called Bruce, of all things, and I always found it hilarious that while most other Neopets species have names that fit monsters (cute monsters, but still), Bruce is just some dude's name. Not my thing, either, but they're cute. If you're wondering why all the ones shown so far have the same couple of colours, it's because your Neopets can only be one of four basic colours (red, yellow, green, blue) until you find rare items to turn them to be coloured black, rainbow, purple, or straight-up mutated.


Buzz! Hooray! One of the Neopets I definitely raised (there was a fair amount of alter-ID's back in the day) was a Buzz, who is a... dragon-insect! I loved the pupil-less eyes, the little abdomen-tail, and the fact that while it appears that he has a bug-face, Buzz actually has a more conventional mouth (clearly seen here). Neopets isn't a series with a lot of traditionally creepy or cool monsters, and Buzz is a pretty adorable bug monster.

Ruki, meanwhile, is for you people who want a more insectoid monster, being more clearly based on insects what with having six limbs, actual antennae and praying mantis sickles... but also have far more humanoid-looking, Pixar-esque eyes compared to the dragon-fly Buzz. Ruki's now a limited edition creature, only available to be created once a year. While certainly no Pinsir or Kuwagamon, I still do like these two bug monster babies. They're cute!


Chomby is a cute little dinosaur, some sort of sauropod with little stegosaur plates running down its back. There's a huge "Land of the Lost" area devoted to dinosaur Neopets, and these are one of the featured Neopets -- they are "limited edition", meaning you can't create a Chomby pet unless it's their special day, which, in this case, is March 22. I'm neutral about this one.

Grarrl is the other "cool dinosaur" pet, to contrast with the herbivorous Chomby... but even as a dinosaur-crazed kid I always found Grarrl a bit simple. My friend found out the hard way that Grarrl pets have a unique little property -- where other pets just lounge in perpetual hunger if you don't feed them, the Grarrls will sneak into your inventory and eat random items -- even rare, non-food items! Haha, what a dick! Also, keep your dinosaur pets well-fed if you don't want it to eat your things!

Since we're talking about Tyrannia Neopets, let's round it up with Tonu, who is... he's not quite a Triceratops-based monster, and honestly looks more like a rhino-lion. In fact, if not for his beaked upper jaw, I probably wouldn't have realized it's even a dinosaur-based creature in any way.


Cybunny is... it's just a cartoon bunny with a scarf. Which I suppose is inevitable, these are primarily based on pets, after all, but looking at how much of an identity an Acara or a Aisha have, I really wished they did more with Cybunny.

Y'know what? Let's round up a bunch more of the other "just an animal that look cute but are also boring" bits. Myncis are monkeys, and I get that some people really do like monkeys, but these just look pretty damn mischievous and probably is just waiting to steal your lunch.

Elephante are... baby elephants with a vaguely Indian head ornament and little wings! You will believe an elephant can fly. They're cute, and I always found elephantes hilarious particularly as NPC's, but I don't think I ever really cared that much about elephants in general.

Gnorbu are little llama/gnu-style pets with bunny ears and a lion mane that were intended as an April Fool's Joke because haha, who would want a llama as a pet? Turns out that everyone did, which caused the team to shrug and add the Gnorbu as an official pet. They're not my thing, but it's hilarious nonetheless. Apparently in the past, all Gnorbu will be sheared once a year on a certain date, leaving them naked for one whole date.


Draik is the cool-looking baby dragon that I remembered as a kid everyone was confused on how to get. Clearly it exists, and clearly it looks awesome, having a cooler-looking and scrappier-looking build compared to the other dragon, the Shoyru, but no one can figure out how to get one -- internet forums are a hotbed of mess back in the day! The only way to get Draiks is to get the Draik Egg from an exclusive shop or buy it in the marketplace for a ridiculously high price. Silly exclusive upper-crust dragons!

Scorchio is the other dragon available, but I've always found it to be the awkward "middle kid" of the three dragon Neopets. It's nowhere as cool as Draik, and nowhere as cute as Shoyru. I guess it's that weird jaw-lip combo he has going on? I've almost always been indifferent to this thing.

Shoyru (who I thought was spelled "Shoryu" for years) is the cute one, basically a Charmander with a head-horn, a more chibified look and wings. I had one! Definitely a cute dragon.


I'll talk about these two together, the Flotsam (the friendly one) and the Jetsam (the mean one), who are the little aquatic buddies who alternate in and out of the "limited edition" list. Originally, the Flotsam were over-hunted to near-extinction by the Jetsam for food (NO!) but the Flotsam decreasing in population caused the Jetsam population to decrease as well, causing the Jetsam to be limited... and then this in turn caused the Flotsam population to re-flourish. The backstory's pretty cool, even if Jetsam's attitude clearly makes him the winner between which of the two I prefer.


Gelert (not Grindlewald) is a good puppy boy with a whip-like tail and whip-like ears! They're good boys. I... I don't have much to say here, other than that they are good boys and dog pets are obligatory in a pet sim game.

Lupe is also a good boy, and more wolf-like than dog-like. They're also neat! I knew I had a Lupe back when I played Neopets as a kid. He was a good boy! I don't have much to say about them, but I 100% love these good boys.

Kougras are sure baby tigers! They're cute, but another one of those "eh, could've done something different" Neopets.



Oh, hey, it's the Grundo! I owned one of these, and they were originally billed as one of the 'secret' pets. Obvious little chunky aliens that hang out on the space station level, apparently there was a whole storyline about how the Grundo (who looked like muscled monsters) originally tried to invade the planet of Neopia, but were freed from their enslavement and now they're happily living in the space station and the moon in these stubby chibi little forms. They were neat, and I remembered I found a random area in the space station where I could adopt one. Definitely a fun little alien boy! I like Grundos.

On the other side of the spectrum, I never paid much attention to the Chia, because they just look like a nondescript blob with stubby limbs and hair, but apparently the Neopets wiki assures me that the Chia, based on chia seeds, can actually transform to a wide variety of vegetables and fruits depending on the food they consume! What a freaking cool little mechanic!


Another one of the pretty cool limited edition pets is the Hissi, who is a snake with wings. It's a couatl, but to a ten-year-old me that's like, the coolest shit ever. Those wings can also fold up to become fists. S'neat. They had some of the more badass alternate skins, too!

One of the more traditional cooler-looking ones, Eyrie is... it's a gryphon! There's not really much to say here. It's a cute-but-also-cool gryphon, and one of the more common ones among my friends back in the day -- you're allowed like, three or four Neopets, and almost everyone had an Eyrie as the 'badass' one in their group. Eyries are badass!


Ixi are baby goats! I actually forgot about this thing entirely.

Kau are baby cows! I also forgot about this thing entirely. Bovines just don't appeal to me that much, huh.

Moehogs are... they're warthogs with mohawks. I guess that's actually kind of unique compared to the Ixi and Kau, even if I still find them kinda stupid.


JubJub is a happy little round ball of fluff with two huge feet. They look hilarious, and are some of the few Neopets that aren't obviously based on a real-life animal of sorts. And clearly, far more superior to the Chia in cuteness level. I'm pretty sure I had one for some time.

The other "round ball with limbs" option is the Kiko, who looks far less adorable than the JubJub. Maybe it's the bizarre spit-lick of hair, or the eyes, or the random chunk of bandage on the side of its head, but I've always found Kikos to look more stupid than adorable. They're limited, and they have a full area devoted to themselves in Kiko Lake, because these little round ball boys are actually water-dwelling. I guess those claws are fins?

Oh, this one is adorable! Far more adorable than the Bloomaroo is the Meerca, being a stylized round happy ball of rodent goofiness that stands on its tail because it's a meerkat. Get it? I do like this one a fair bit.

Kacheek is one of those Neopets that I feel show up like everywhere as shopkeepers and NPC's, and it's easy to see why -- they're some of the Neopets that have a bipedal form! Not the biggest fan of it, but it's a pretty cute and 'safe' mascot creature like a Pikachu or something.

Usul is another critter that I sort of associate as with the Kacheek, especially when I was younger. And I'm not sure why -- they clearly look very distinctly different, but I guess the whole squirrel-esque bodytype ends up looking a bit similar to me? Usul's clearly more squirrel than Kacheek, though.

The Kyrii is a ambiguous mammal that isn't readily identifiable as "a bunny pet" or "a mouse pet", but really also doesn't have much in lieu of memorable features. The wiki calls it a "weasel", and I don't really see it, personally. They're apparently allergic to apples, and will suffer from diseases if you give them apples!

Koi look more like mutant goldfishes than actual koi, but they are actually pretty cool-looking anime fish, and I love how while they're obviously meant to be hands, the tattered and elongated fins actually also look pretty fin-like. A huge fan of this one, despite its simplicity. This is going to be a trio of designs that are kind of just animals, but are different enough that I end up really liking them.

Korbats are cute little cartoon bats, and that was apparently enough for young me to fall in love and create a Korbat as my very first Neopet. Not much to really say about Korbat, really. He sure is a bat, and he sure is cute!

Krawk is another one of those Neopets with a dedicated area, the pirate-themed Krawk Island, and they're cute humanoid crocodile boys. I do like how it's actually a pretty slender design, contrasting with how crocodiles tended to be portrayed as huge or lumbering when they get turned into monsters. These are apparently "the rarest Neopet ever", and the way to get a Krawk is to get a Petpet (a pet for your Neopets) and take it to a certain area to evolve it to a proper Krawk. It's interesting that of all the creatures in the game, it's the crocodile-man of all things and not the dragon or gryphon or alien that is the super-duper-ultra rare one.



Lenny is like, a flamingo or a stork or something. It sure is a cartoon bird! I don't mind it, but yeah, a lot of the Neopets are truly just random cartoon animals that wouldn't look out of place as an extra in Lion King or something.

Pteri is the other bird Neopet, looking more like a songbird or something, but also apparently prehistoric? It's cute.


Lutari is a sea otter creature, and it's apparently supposed to be exclusive to a now-defunct mobile game, and now it's just a regular old limited edition pet. It's still special, though, in that unlike other limited edition pets, it will straight-up just run the fuck away from you if you try to trade or impound it.

As far as aquatic mammals go, though, Tuskaninny is even more boring, though. It's literally just a seal!



Nimmo are long-limbed frogs that apparently are super zen and really love martial arts, which is not something I'd associate with a frog, ever. They look like they walked out of an old Disney short, too. I like them, but I suspect that is more because I like frogs more than Nimmo's actual design.

Quiggles are the other frog/toad Neopet option, and they are the exact opposite of the long-limbed and zen Nimmo, but rather are excitable and you can clearly hear them being voiced with a voice similar to SpongeBob. Probably pesters their owners about every little thing too. Not the biggest fan of the proportions, but it's neat.

Not a toad, because Techo is a gecko! Sometimes you just don't really want a dragon, and you're just happy with a bipedal gecko with a damn goofy lizard face. I like him! Probably not as much as some of the other things on this page, but I still like Techo and how simple he is. Probably listens to techno music, too!


Peophin are mermaid horses. They're... they're not my thing, but I do find their design hilarious, what with the horse hooves reared up like that. They're definitely an unconventional critter, for sure, but I dunno... maybe it's the eyes, but I do find Peophin to be pretty off compared to the other Neopets.

The Uni is... it's a pegasus-unicorn. Which I think would probably be a lot more unique a decade ago, but now you just sort of sees pegasus-unicorns everywhere. Which is not a bad thing, of course.

Ogrin are, uh... I have no fucking clue what they are, and that's a good thing! I'm lumping him with the horses, but Ogrin is more of a hybrid of zebras, tigers, and goats, and also have a killer-looking mohawk. And that face reminds me of the bug-like Ruki more than actual horses. Kinda weird, but in a good way!


Poogle is another one that's not obviously just-an-animal, looking more like a stuffed toy of... a dog I guess? It's a Poogle, and I'd honestly rather have more pets in Neopets be more like Poogles and Acaras and Ogrins instead of being "just an animal".

Likewise, the Wocky, while still being clearly based on a cat, looks a bit ambiguous enough that it feels exotic. Sort of like Eevee from Pokemon, I guess, where it's more of an ambiguous cat-fox instead of being a clear-cut animal. Pretty neat!

The Xweetok is another one that's pretty ambiguous, it could be like a Simba-esque lion cub or a squirrel or rodent of some sort. Personally, I don't think I remember this creature existed at all, and I probably mistook it for Wockies any time it shots up.


Oh, yeah, there's another dragon! I always thought this was an NPC-only monster for some reason, even though you can make a Skeith any time. Where Shoyru, Scorchio and Draik are all more traditional (if cartoonified, obviously) dragons, Skeith plays on a trope that I don't really see a lot nowadays -- fat, corpulent, greedy dragons that just sit around in their lair and clearly are thinking of something nasty -- or at least mischievous. Even good old Smaug is portrayed as a big badass giant dragon! The Skeith design looks pretty fun, with its fat cat body and teeny-tiny wings and the face that probably belongs on the face of a Mickey Mouse villain. I'm not sure why I overlooked this all the time -- I guess because I just like bug monsters and fish monsters and bat monsters better? Skeith is cool.


Yeah, compare the artwork of the Vandagyre with something like the Usul or the Quiggle. They try to keep a consistent art style, but it's clear that the Vandagyre is created waaaay later. As recent as 2014, in fact, whereas a lot of these were created in the '90s. Vandagyre is neat, I suppose, being an owlbear -- owl-panda, I guess, based on this picture.

Speaking of a fusion between two creatures, Yurble is a lion-bear! It's kinda cute, but I've always felt the design looked a bit awkward for me. Always kind of looked generic, but the aesthetic of a lion-bear dude does fit with some of the places you visit in Neopets.


Thank god the final one we end up with is the Zafara, who is a pretty great ambiguous pet. What is it? Is it a kangaroo-lizard? That tail's certainly lizard-like, and she's got spikes down her back, and that face looks sort of like a bunny, but the posture looks like... a cartoon bunny or a kangaroo? Neopets doesn't do a particularly good job making a whole ton of its creatures look unique or different from its source animal, but the Zafara definitely looks like a pretty bizarre creature while still being as saccharine and adorable as the other Neopets.