Movie Review: DC's League of Super-Pets

DC League of Super Pets [2022]

Random quick DC movie review, and it's not the one you expect! Man, yeah, it really is bamboozling just the sheer amount of random DC movies that we're getting, yeah? DC's League of Super-Pets adapts the story of Krypto the Super-Dog, though very loosely, and... it's an animal movie in a superhero setting, what can I say? It starts Dwayne Johnson in the starring role, and the plot is relatively... basic. I did enjoy watching the movie, though there are still some rather... eye-rolling bits of obvious plot contrivances like the 'Solar Paw Punch' mentioned halfway in the movie as Krypto's ultimate move that will kill him which, of course, doesn't actually do so. 

The main plot has Krypto get jealous as Superman pursues his love in Lois Lane, feeling increasingly left out as he realizes that Superman is making a bit more time for the big proposal... and other animals talking to Krypto about how he's getting replaced doesn't help either. Eventually Krypto ends up meeting up with a group of animals from the shelter -- a boxer called Ace (a.k.a. the future Bat-Hound), an old tortoise called Merton (based on a Captain Carrot character), an overexcited pig called P.B., and Chip the squirrel (based on alien Green Lantern C'hp). Also in the animal shelter is a hairless guinea pig called Lulu, a test subject from LexCorp who has super-intelligence and has been slowly building a doomsday weapon. Get it? She's hairless because she's Lex Luthor's pet?

It's as silly as it sounds, and, of course, all our familiar superheroes in the JLA (this roster features Wonder Woman, Batman, Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg and Jessica Cruz's Green Lantern) are turned into caricatures -- with Keanu Reeves Batman being the obvious star of the show with his one-liners and they fight against Lex Luthor, who's trying to gain a meteor made up of orange Kryptonite. We get a surprisingly fun action scene with Superman, Krypto and the JLA against Luthor, but Lulu the guinea pig uses her device to pull in a shard of orange Kryptonite which gives her... telekinetic powers or some shit. She sets the shelter on fire, but doesn't realize that the orange Kryptonite gives the other shelter animals superpowers -- Ace becomes indestructible, PB can change size, Chip can shoot lightning and Merton can go on super-speed. 

After an argument between Superman and Krypto, Lulu manages to blindside the two of them with Kryptonite, and gets Krypto to swallow some Kryptonite to turn him into a regular dog. Krypto ends up meeting with the shelter animals with their new superpowers and tries to befriend them... though they're all honestly kind of one-note beyond a surprisingly heartbreaking backstory on Ace's part about how he had to be given away because he bit the baby of the family that owned him in order to stop her from falling down the stairs. 

Lulu ends up empowering an army of (normal, haired) guinea pigs with superpowers, where they defeat the JLA in increasingly comedic manners. Meanwhile, the Super-Pets fight Whiskers, an adorably-voiced kitten empowered with the power to create weapons, and Krypto basically learns how to pep-talk. They make their way to Stryker's Island, get beaten by Lulu and get imprisoned, and Lulu frees Luthor... and Luthor predictably betrays Lulu and takes her 'kill the JLA with a rocket' plan for himself. 

Krypto shits off the Kryptonite (offscreen) and it restores his powers, allowing the Super-Pets to come and free the Justice League. We get the expected character moment as Krypto trusts his friends to save Superman and the others in his stead while he goes off to save Lois Lane. The JLA and the Super-Pets team up to fight a giant Kryptonite-mutated Lulu, until the aforementioned nonsensical Solar Paw Punch, and then everyone lives happily ever after. 

And... and it's silly. A lot of the best comedy in my opinion really does come from the dog-related jokes like squeaky toys and there's a decent (if slightly cluttered) story in regards to Krypto. The problem is perhaps the side-characters are one-note and really don't get too much to shine other than to be mirrors for Krypto to bounce dialogue off of, and Lulu herself is kinda an irritatingly shrill character. I get that the humans need to take a backseat and I even stand behind the fact that they had to become comedic for the plot to function, but... I dunno. The movie is also probably around 30 minutes too long with three or four 'final battles' that it kind of became tiresome, and I wonder if a more traditional climax would've served it better. 

Still, I'm not going to complain all too much about a movie about the freaking Super-Pets. It's fun. Let your kids see a movie about super-dogs!