JoJo's Bizarre Adventure S03E26 Review: D'Arby Redux

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable, Part 26: Janken Boy is Coming

Yeah, this is one of my least favourite fights in Diamond is Unbreakable, and it's pretty surprising considering it's one of the few times that my favourite Diamond is Unbreakable character, Kishibe Rohan, actually ends up being a solo protagonist. And while the writing is still pretty neat, the setup and the execution of this encounter feels so... silly? I don't know. I tend to not mind the sillier parts of JoJo, and I actually find some of the smaller-stakes arc like Pearl Jam and the upcoming Earth Wind and Fire to be some of my favourites. But "Janken Boy Is Coming" is easily one of the few black marks in JJBA. And I'm not sure why. I guess it's because it takes so long for it to finish? I know the episode is about as long as every other episode in this series, but the titular "Janken Boy", Oyanagi Ken, is such a little shit that he's not even an interesting love-to-hate character.

The episode starts off with Yoshihiro using the Arrow to 'divine' who is an applicable Stand user (apparently Keicho just randomly shot people without realizing that the Arrow will choose its 'victims'?) and tells us that Enya gave him the arrow in the first place. And for whatever reason, the Arrow picked Oyanagi Ken, this bratty little shit.

And the Stand that manifests on this kid is Boy II Man, which plays into the dumb kid's love for jan-ken-pon (rock paper scissors), where after beating someone in a best-of-five janken match, Ken is going to be able to suck in their Stand through the hole that the arrow made on his cheek. It's bizarre, for sure, and honestly not a bad Stand in concept. Sure, it's similar to the Stands of the D'Arby brothers, where a high-stakes game will lead to something being drained (Stand powers instead of souls in this case), but we've seen Part 4 repeat Part 3 powers and put their own twist on it. Oyanagi Ken, on the other hand, basically bullshits his way with so many contrived coincidences that it's not even funny.

Rohan is apparently photographing people to find out who's a likely target for Kira's new guise, noting that Kira will select a man of approximate size and body shape to him, and that it's a race of time to get to Kira before he gets rid of the family of his "mask".

And then Ken shows up and talks to Rohan, wanting to play janken with him and pesters him throughout the day, and Rohan uses Heaven's Door to confirm that the kid isn't a Stand user (he's unaware of his powers) but... but Ken definitely was chasing Rohan down with the intention of beating him in a janken game, and later on when Rohan uses Heaven's Door again, apparently he knew all along? It's enver really made clear just why this changed. And considering how much of an antisocial prick  Rohan is, I'm not sure why Rohan even bothered in the first place.

Rohan meets up with Josuke, Okuyasu and Yukako who is in a cafe, and then encounters Ken again, with the kid being a little shit and crying as he 'claims' Rohan's seat for his own. And then Rohan punches the fucker in the face.  This part, I get -- Rohan just wants to break this little shitbag's love for Janken, and beats him again. A subsequent encounter has Rohan finally losing, and part of Heaven's Door gets sucked into the hole on his chin, and Ken gives his random mission statement of surpassing the mighty Kishibe Rohan. Oh, and since he absorbed Heaven's Door, that apparently means he has immunity from Heaven's Door but what how?

You go, baby

The subsequent climax of the episode is just a sad attempt to replicate the mind-games mentality of the D'Arby fights, with Rohan trying to unnerve Ken, some really prolonged moments of them floating and flying into the air to jan-ken-pon, Ken trying to 'test out luck' by calling out to Josuke and Joseph, and also seeing if shattered glass will hit him... again, none of these end up being part  of Ken's Stand or is explained at all. And neither is Rohan's silence when Josuke and Joseph pass by, or all of them ignoring Atom Heart Father, who's floating in the background.....

And then Rohan cheats, apparently somehow 'stealing' the invisible baby Shizuka (she doesn't get a name until later, but eh, fuck it) and writing in "make Ken's hand pose into a rock" during their encounter... which... again, feels out of nowhere. At what point did Rohan have the opportunity to steal the baby without the two Joestars realizing? Still, it does lead to a pretty badass "I make my own luck" speech from Rohan, and even little Shizuka ends up having a goo-goo JoJo pose on her own. Aww, she's adorable.

That's easily the best part of this episode. Baby Shizuka giving off a badass Joestar pose. It's just such a huge, huge shame that Shizuka didn't end up being a proper protagonist of her own.

Rohan then beats Ken in yet another janken match, which causes Ken to... jump in front of a truck? For some bizarre reason, Rohan is 'moved' by his flair of the dramatic,  and jumps in-between the truck and Ken, and just... poses? No, let's not use Heaven's Door to stop the truck from moving. Just pose and wait for fate to intercede by having Yoshhihiro's photograph to block the truck driver's viewpoint, and apparently the truck driver doesn't realize that there are two people on the street, but will swerve for a polaroid photo. Yep.

Overall, a pretty sub-par episode. Rohan is entertaining and all, especially in the moments that he punches Ken or when he gives his little cheat monologue... but clearly the best thing in this pretty sub-par episode is Baby Shizuka's JoJo pose.

The JoJo Playlist:

• Boy II Man (parsed that way in English) borrows its name from Boyz II Men, a 90's R&B vocal group. They are best known for their iconic single, End of the Road. one of the songs that stayed on top of the Billboard charts for a fairly long bit of time. Some other well-known songs include I'll Make Love To You, On Bended Knee and One Sweet Day.