Which, admittedly, I thought I was going to finish posting way before Sword and Shield, but editing and reorganizing the screencaps took a whole amount of time.
It has been a wild, wild ride, and... yeah, I trash-talk this fan-game a fair bit, especially its plotting and some of its game mechanics, but honestly... I really did enjoy playing through Pokemon Uranium. It's clearly still a burden of love by the creators, and it really sucked that they weren't able to complete the game the way they wanted it to. Still, it got a whole lot of playtime from me, and while I'm not sure if I'll ever do another extensive screenshot Let's Play like this ever again, it has certainly been a fun experience doing this.
The Quadcopter replaces Fly, and I can only get it after clearing the championship twice.
Kick Pow Gone Amazing! Again, this was before Generation VII replaced all HM's with rental pokemon, so it's actually pretty naet. They kinda sorta go about it in a roundabout manner, of course, by still forcing us to use the HM's until we unlock the next one, but it's the thought that counts.
Yes, yes you have cleared the world of those ugly, pesky HM's indeed.
Or just Ura's journey, because I assume the tinkerer didn't give it to everyone in the world.
I am rich, and I will stock up on balls. Dusk Balls are great for these legendaries, since they are in caves, and I also bring a bunch of Timer Balls.
So, first up... Snowpeak Town! Or whatever this was. Mt. Lanthanite is likely where the legendary pokemon Lanthan hangs out in, what with it being named after it and all. I'm going to capture it, even though Vaeryn and his acolytes apparently speak to Lanthan and it's part of their culture and all. I don't care, it's gonna be mine and it's going to hang out with Urayne in the box and drink tea and eat crumpets together.
So basically everything in the post-game is gated by Waterfall. Okay, then.
Oh shit, an NPC! Who recognizes my badassery. Apparently this dude is a rare pokemon hunter, too.
And he's called Adam, and he played the Game Boy Color games! Also, he's apparently a Patreon backer cameo or something, if I'm not mistaken. Pretty cool, actually, to have your backers and fans be represented in some way... and Adam's integrated in a way that's not too tacky, I suppose.
Uh-huh, you can probably guess that from the fact that every single church and library in this region sort of has an option that you can talk about talking about how there are three metal legendary Pokemon.
And also, Adam, the place is called "Mt. Lanthanite". You don't say?
What??? Lanthan is my prey. He is going to be in my collection.
I will stab you in the back with a fork.
This is apparently the Core of the mountain. Is that even what you call the inner parts of a mountain cave? I genuinely don't know.
Oh shit, we are defiling the sacred ground! I knew they were worshiping this giant metal dinosaur! Sorry, Vaeryn, I'm going to have to beat up your buddies. And also prove that I am worthy.
Ah ha, Draugr, like the Skyrim undead zombies. Right.
Also, Adam's just standing there while my UFO do battle against these dragons. Dangit, Adam.
Yes, bow and beg for my forgiveness, you mere acolyte, for I am the Champion of Tandor. My party members include the God-Queen of insects and the Hokage of the surfing ninjas. Beg for my forgiveness, and I might spare your life!
Oh huh, Psychic is actually a very useful TM. Pity that any member of my party that could learn it kind of already did so naturally.
Also, there are lava segments in this icy cave. Wouldn't... wouldn't all the ice around it have melted? I would buy that the exterior of the mountain and the outer caves are still cold, but everything in close proximity to the lava surely should be pretty warm.
Ah ha, get it, A Song of Ice and Fire? Eddard Stark? Game of Thrones? EH? EH????
Unfortunately, they do not actually use any Game of Thrones inspired Pokemon, unless there is a chapter in the novels that I missed where the Starks and the Lannisters wage battle with ghostly fire-scorpions and giant sea slugs.
Also, Adam has his own UFO. He mocks me with his nine-level gap.
BUT MY UFO IS BIGGER THAN YOURS, ADAM.
Adam's other Pokemon involves a Coatlith, which is kinda cool.
Also, I guess there are the elephants that Cersei Lannister was looking for. Hiding out with acolytes in some icy mountain.
The two of them say the same thing. Really? Not even a "winter is coming" joke? Y'know what's worse than a joke that's kinda expected and obvious? Only briefly touching upon an Easter Egg and not following through with it.
Ookay, more loot. A mega stone and a Zen Headbutt TM, which is probably more useless than Psychic.
Also, this cave has both devils and radical surfing bunny-men. Okay then.
In his house in L'antha'nite, dread Lanthan waits dreaming, yet he stirs, his slumber is at an end!
That's an oxymoron, you moron.
Seriously, what the fuck is destroying me with peace and tranquility even mean?
Oh, Elwyn, I guess you come from Elwynn forest? I hear there's a badass hyena-man there called Hogger.
Okay, he has cool Pokemon. Like Astronite, which just looks cool. And Oblivicorn, which is not quite my style, but still kinda cool.
Ice Mothras are wild encounters here, but fucking Adam kills them before I have a chance to capture them.
I don't like Alpicos. I don't like them at all. This game allows me to give them nicknames that reflect what I think of them.
Okay, final boss stage time. I'm not sure about the logistics of ice spikes jutting out of lava, and Lanthan isn't even an ice monster, so... ehhhhhh.
I get it, yeah, yeah, even a god can bleed and all that. Adam's actually refreshing, he reflects what most Pokemon players do. Doesn't matter if Arceus is the creator of the universe, or that Mew is the progenitor of all life, or that Dialga is the master of time or Yveltal the harbinger of death. It's a Pokemon, so it's going into the ball and into my collection.
Oh okay thanks, you're a gentleman. And now we fight for who gets the right to capture Lanthan. Kinda cool, actually.
He's got a cool Gengar jacket.
As I said before... my UFO is bigger than your UFO.
He doesn't seem willing to have us fight with our extraterrestrial buddies, though, so he sends out his Coatlith.
I send out The Queen instead. Because bugs prey on dragons. Or something like that.
There's a reason you can't encounter wild Coatliths in the Baykal Forest. The Queen ate them all.
Coatlith busies itself doing Dragon Dance, but that only works if you survive the set-up. The Queen is hungry. And when The Queen hungers, you do not want to upset her. She dines on dragon meat tonight.
I could have the two UFO's battle it out, but I'm too lazy to wait out the conclusion and just have Charlie take out the UFO with Independence Day style firepower.
E. coli versus his Nucleon! Why does everyone in this game own a Nucleon? Me, Theo, and now Adam...
YOU TOOK OUT E. COLI WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, it's a critical hit and shit, and I've harped on and on about how Nucleon will wipe out anything with a dual-type, but still...
Reclaim your position as the alpha nuclear dog, Blight! Wipe that filth off the face of the earth, it hurt my baby!
Also, another dual-type. Nuclear bombs > vengeful ghosts. Really, if those protagonists in those Conjuring movies had bothered to bring a nuclear cannon, they wouldn't have so much trouble fighting the angry ghosts in their house.
...and they wouldn't have much trouble fighting the demons, too, because silly bra-demon-dragon-man over here just gets wiped out in a single shot by Blight.
Let me hazard a guess. Adam really likes Gengar. I mean, that Gengar hoodie is kind of a giveaway, but the fact that the only Gengar in this game is programmed into Adam's party...
...and it can mega evolve...
I can hazard a guess that Adam really likes Gengar. Like, seriously, you can't find Gastly or Haunter anywhere in the game, and they're not even programmed in. And the only Gengar in the game is here, and he's not even in the Tandor Pokedex. Adam must really like Gengar.
Unfortunately, the grinning shadow ghost is still a dual type. Sorry, Adam.
Yep, I do get the right to do that!
There is some screen-shaking that I cannot capture with static screenshots. But hey, lookit Lanthan!
Hee hee hee he's like a fat overweight deer. I love him, he looks so dumb with that set of teeth jutting out of his lower jaw and his beady eyes and his huge fat belly. He's like the Pug of legendary Pokemon.
I quickly figure out that Lanthan is Ground/Steel. He's got Earthquake, Earth Power, Iron Head and the Uranium-exclusive Steel move Metal Cruncher. Cerebella resists Steel-type attacks, and apparently my grinning brain fish is pretty dang tanky, even against a legendary lava deer.
Oh, neat, he's frozen!
Aaaand eventually Lanthan is caught. Good grief, it was a long, long battle of just chucking ultra, dusk and timer balls at this fat deer.
I like him. He's a fat lava deer. I am calling him Rotundeer.
He looks so goofy I love him
Woooo!
And also Adam is nice enough to instantly teleport me out of that cave. Huzzah! Also he gives me a neat farewell.
Adieu, Adam. Kinda wished that after this adventure, I unlock him as a potential Elite Four battle, but... eh, kind of a missed opportunity.
Let's go through another League run, because there's someone I have to fight.
And no, it's not Angelica and Gentleman Sir Goldkorn, which are always the first two encounters in this league. Again, shame, because the whole point of the gimmick is to have an ever-rotating Elite Four.
Here we go. I've ended up looking up how to rematch the ex-Hokage, and apparently he's just a potential enemy in the Elite Four.
Okay, E. coli. You got this. You can and will defend your honor and your title against this pretender. You are the lord of the ninjas. Believe it!
Holy shit, they forsook you? What a bunch of dicks, your ninja clan got wiped out by E. coli pretty good! They're mean. But it's your fault for not bending the knee to E. coli.
Wait, now, are you implying that ninja rule under E. coli, the greatest lord of the ninjas there ever is, is dishonourable? That you have to restore honour somehow? Oh, you're on.
And also, you're neither a Ninja Boss nor the Hokage. They are titles belonging to E. coli.
And how the fuck are you surfing?
Oooooh not good. Bug/Water is the only Water-type combination that E. coli can't do anything against, but the Sponaree can and will do something to E. coli.
Come forth, The God-Queen of All Insects! Show this lowly worker ant the error of his ways! Foolish male member of the hive, how dare you raise a hand against your designated rulers!
THE QUEEN ORDERS YOUR EXECUTION, AND YOU WILL PERISH!
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
And now it's business as usual. Creepy pervert frog man? Thunderbolt. Dead. Easy.
Toothy eel creature? Thunderbolt. Dead. Easy.
Official water-fox Pokemon? Thunderbolt, then Giga Drain. Lots of HP but no other stat to back it up.
Official giant angry water serpent? Thunderbolt. Dead. Easy.
Japanese extra from a Spongebob Squarepants episode? Thunderbolt. Dead. Easy.
Not remotely strong enough. This is like, episode one Naruto without any Chakra ability fighting zombie Madara Uchiha and his giant meteors or some shit. You, the former Hokage, ain't worth jack shit. E. coli has proven his true strength.
Yes, return and meditate upon your failures, and know that you exist only to serve your lord and master, E. coli, lord of the ninjas!
Oh yeah, you. Right. You repeat the same speech every time. I know you scribbled it down in your hand, Theo, and that you're proud of it. But sheesh...
Theo's good for XP grinding, though.
Anyway, back to the Victory Road. There's a waterfall here, and waterfalls mean post-game content.
Lava waterfalls are just decorative, though it's cool.
Hello, disappointment. We meet again.
First, you get your silly so-called legendary ass beaten by a weakened Urayne. Then you got corrupted. And then my lightning bacteria one-shot you.
And then you talked some shit about wanting to help me save Tandor, and forced yourself into my party, sending poor LV-426 back to the box and denying him his rightful place in the Hall of Fame. And then you died in one shot without even doing anything to Delta Urayne.
And then you refuse to stay in the party, and made up some excuse to not come with me. Bitch, I'm going to put you in your place.
Submit to me, Actan. You are not the legendary here. I AM!
No no no no, you got it wrong. You're not worthy to face me, you colossal fuck-up.
And now you're ripping off Theo. Come on, can you be any less cool?
My fish knocked you down nearly to the red with two surfs, despite Cerebella not being my strongest hitter, and also Steel-types resisting Water, and also there's a 15 level gap.
Maybe Actan just sucks.
What doesn't suck is the catch rate, though, because I burned through 65 Ultra Balls catching this god damned jobber.
Y'know what? That's exactly what I'm calling you. You're Mr. Jobber. You lose more often than Krillin does in any given arc of Dragon Ball Z. You weenie.
Aaaaand that, I think, is a pretty satisfying end to our playthrough of Pokemon Uranium! See you guys in my other reviews and maybe a future project!
I really did enjoy my time playing through this one. If nothing else, I did get attached to the Pokemon I used as my party, even if I really ended up not liking some of the Fakemon here. Overall... I had a blast playing this game. It's fun.
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