DC's Legends of Tomorrow S05E05-06 Review: Fucking With Fate

DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Season 5, Episode 5: Mortal Khanbat; Episode 6: Mr. Parker's Cul-de-sac

Episode 5 of  this season of Legends of Tomorrow, "Mortal Khanbat" is... it's interesting. I do think I have to mention that this is Caity Lotz's directional debut, which explains her absence last episode, and it sure is a pretty fun episode, but the actual action scenes in this episode is a pretty neat standout compared to your regular Legends fare. We have a shootout in a Chinese restaurant between an undercover cop, some superheroes and a bunch of gangsters, which is always a good time, but the standout and most memorable action scenes has to be the fact that this is Legends of Tomorrow and things always go for the extra-ridiculous, so what started off as seemingly a one-off gag with Nate's scooter ended up with something insanely ridiculous when we get Genghis Khan leading a Chinese triad mob on a scooter-based action scene as they do crazy stunts on scooters in an attempt to kidnap the Prince of England. Legends of Tomorrow be like that sometimes.

And, as always, the comedy and zaniness bits of Legends of Tomorrow works relatively well. Bringing Genghis Khan back just to have a repeat of Rasputin earlier this season isn't something that's going to be particularly memorable, but the extra layer of zaniness of having him revive a couple centuries late (he was digging his way out of his impenetrable tomb, which was hilarious) and the whole bit with scooters ends up giving this an extra layer of oomph that makes this episode extra funny. Also, considering the recent political situation in Hong Kong, I'm actually thankful the episode doesn't try to get political. Anyway, the Legends beat Genghis Khan and his scooter sword, steal his Hellfire Sword, and that's another part of history that's preserved.

The Constantine storyline of this episode is, as usual, a tonally wildly different storyline compared to the typical time-traveling hijinks and I honestly really think that the series could've probably smooshed all the Constantine scenes in these six episodes into a single, serious episode. I know Legends is all fun and games, but the sheer tonal imbalance between the scenes do hurt both of them. Matt Ryan is amazing as he plays a John Constantine that's nearing his death. His jumping around from defiance to anger to desperation to eventual acceptance is amazingly done, and while I would kill to see Matt Ryan star in an adaptation of "Dangerous Habits", this is Legends and the fact that Constantine decides to sit and have one last dinner with his friends Gary and Ray after being a dick to them the whole episode is definitely well done.

(There's also John's talking bulldog ornament, which was super random)

Of course, John Constantine being John Constantine, he decides to make a deal before he dies, making a deal with Astra and telling her how he's so damn close to this reality-altering MacGuffin, and Astra, seemingly impulsively, decides to turn back the cute little pocketwatch clock-coin thingy. So yeah, Constantine's back alive, and his absolute joy of dancing around and burning his will and stuff is hilarious, and it's going to be interesting to see where we go from here.

Of course, the episode is hardly perfect. The random Chinese undercover cop literally came out of nowhere, and while she does get a cool, brief action scene, is dispatched very quickly afterwards without any fanfare. We get the revelation that everyone can see that Charlie and Behrad apparently fucked in this 'revised' timeline (even without much of a Crisis tie-in, Legends still has to deal with some timeline-fuckery) and it's yet another tired, repetitive 'haha, superhero romantic/sexual hijinks' bit that doesn't quite work as well as Legends' other efforts. Hey, there's a supporting member of the cast that isn't getting enough screentime and is otherwise one-dimensional? Have them pair up! Romantic hijinks will hopefully add some depth to the characters, right?

At least we do have the revelation that Charlie isn't just an ancient changeling, she's actually Clotho of the Three Fates of Greco-Roman mythology, and she isn't just aware of the Loom of Fate, she's one of its original wielders. That's an interesting twist to give to Charlie, and while I'm not sure if we're going to go full on God of War (spoilers: we won't) on this, it's definitely a fun revelation. All in all, a solid episode!
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Okay, episode six was... unexpected? Last episode, one of the conversations that the dying Constantine has with his best bud Ray was to tell him to 'carpe his diem', to quickly go and pop the question to Nora before it's too late (like it is for Constantine, or at least he thought so) and this episode ends up starting off with exactly that. Ray and his buddies trying to set up the most perfect, most dorky way for a 'will you marry me', with a ring hidden in pudding! That's adorable.

Of course, we need to have an Encore, and the Encore this time around borrows from Legends' own history, Damien Darrhk. Who missed out on all the whole actors-returning-to-Arrow train over in Arrow's final season, but we know Neal McDonough is always game for this franchise so I'm assuming it's just a scheduling conflict. After a bit where he dies up 2017-era Gary onto a train after the whole Bibbo-vs-Mallus ridiculousness, Damien shows up in 2020, and we get a surprisingly fun focus on Nora! Nora's one of the more under-utilized characters in the show, and I was very pleased last season when we get a lot more of her.

And this episode we learn that Nora... still really wants to please her psychotic, demented dad in a way, and despite the whole "gave you up to a demon" thing, I do really like how Damien and Nora very clearly love each other a lot, and throughout the episode Nora maintains a charade of making it big in the world of the Dark Arts (tm), claiming to have obtained Constantine's house of magic as her base, to have subjugated Ava and Sara as her henchwomen, to be dating John Constantine, et cetera, et cetera. She's just a bit too ashamed to admit to her dad that she's a goddamn fairy godmother that's dating Ray Palmer, the walking human puppy. It's just such a hilarious over-the-top route to take for the well-known trope of the 'try and make my life feel so much more interesting, hijinks ensue when the lies pile up' sitcom plot, and it's executed amazingly well.

It's amazing, and I do love the juxtaposed bit where Nora is building up the lies, while Ray is baby-sitting Nora's charge Pippa and watching some sappy-ass show, and little Pippa quickly hit the nail on the head -- is Nora just straight-up ashamed of Ray? And... a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B, but Nora does love Ray, she just doesn't know how to really break the news to her long-lost dad without upsetting him. And Daddy Darrhk is, y'know, a powerful warlock that can throw people around with his mind.

The fact that the conclusion ended up basically with Pippa's fairy godmother wish putting everyone in therapy is hilariously over-the-top, including the 'safe zone sombrero' or whatever it's called, Gary as a creepy puppet train, Ava and Sara as puppets again, and, well, Damien basically getting through a rehab and accepting Ray and Nora's new way of life and we get a whole wedding! Gary got to be the flower boy, which is an adorable little detail. It's a sweet, sweet way to finish the Darrhk-centric storyline, and the fact that Damien sneaks off to steal the hellfire sword to obliterate his soul before Astra can recall it and torture him is a bittersweet way to end Damien's storyline.

And I didn't know I needed this. Season four was a chaotic season, and the relationship between Damien and Nora sort of just crashed and burned thanks to all the Mallus nonsense, and a proper conclusion, a proper emotional conversation between Nora and Damien, is amazingly done and topping it off with a wedding proposal and the fact that this is basically building up to Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford's exit from the show is extra poignant. Hell, Damien Darrhk even got a bit of a redemption, even if Legends isn't quite as forgiving as some of its sister shows -- Sara will acknowledge that redeemed!Damien might be a good dad, but he still fucking murdered Laurel and Sara will not shake Damien's hand; and the showwriters (and the character himself) recognizes that Damien's sins aren't so easily forgiven.

The B-plots for this one is... it's interesting. Mick and Zari goes off to fight some troll that's bashing Rebecca Silver's novels, and it leads to hijinks before they go off to confront a teenager only to find out that Mick's greatest critic is actually his illegitimate bastard daughter Lita. Mick, understandably, doesn't want the commitment and is afraid that he's going to be a shitty father (his own father, after all, was an abusive fucker, and his best buddy Leonard Snart's father was also an abusive fucker) so he just quickly mind-wipes Ali and Lita's minds and buggers off. It's a surprisingly deep well of emotions to draw for Mick, and while I did note that the whole 'Mick's a well-regarded smut author' bit has been long played out, this would be a far more interesting storyline to explore.

There are also two C-plots to go through, both of which easily get resolved thanks to Pippa's therapy wish. Ava is angry that Sara is keeping secrets from her, particularly Wild Dog offering Sara a job at Star City, but it literally came out of nowhere (I guess it's part of the whole Sara's been MIA for the past two mission thing?) and it is resolved very quickly. Constantine and Charlie/Clotho argue a bit about the Loom of Fate, but basically they agree to use it to fix Astra... and then properly destroy it, which is... okay, yeah, I guess with these two chuckleheads, you do need to forcibly sit the two of them together to get them to discuss things calmly.

Overall, an amazing episode, and easily the strongest episode of Legends this season. It does help that we don't get the bizarre mood whiplash that the previous five episodes have had whenever we jump from the Constantine-dies-of-cancer or Constantine-faces-his-dark-past emo drama to wacky hijinks, and this episode is a lot more tonally consistent. The fact that it helps to tie up two characters' exit, and also ends in the wedding of one of the most natural romances CW's non-stellar track record with romances have ever given us is also the cherry on top. But alas, we say goodbye to Damien Darhk at the end of the episode, and it seems like in the next episode, we'll have to say goodbye to Ray and Nora too. It's an amazing exit for them, though, regardless. The episode is just on fire, and every single line out of Brandon Routh, Courtney Ford and Neal McDonough's mouths are just amazing. Overall, honestly, a pretty damn great episode.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Ray off-handedly notes how he's technically knighted by the Knights of the Round Table, which happened in season two. 
• Constantine, on seeing that Sara and Ava have been turned into puppets, bemoans that they did this recently in season four. 
• Wild Dog, a.k.a. Rene Ramirez, is mentioned multiple times here. Apparently he's trying to get Sara a job in Star City. It's been a long while, but one of the main reasons why Sara Lance ended up abandoning the present day post-resurrection is because she can't get a job because she was, well, y'know, dead. Presumably, between the many friends the Arrow Team has on high places and Oliver's whole Earth-Prime reboot, it's less of an issue now. 
• Nate mockingly calls Constantine "Captain Cold" when he goes off to Antarctica. Constantine's parka is of the right colour.