Doom Patrol S01E10 Review: Beard Hunter

Doom Patrol, Season 1, Episode 10: Hair Patrol

Apparently what Rita and Victor are up to while we were dealing with the very fantastic Crazy Jane Underground episode... is a lot less exciting than I thought. And I know, it's not quite fair. "Danny Patrol" and "Jane Patrol" are easily two of the strongest episodes in the season, and before those was the backstory-heavy "Doom Patrol Patrol" and the very cathartic "Therapy Patrol". This episode just feels... weird. And gross. But mostly weird and exposition-heavy, and not fun exposition like previous episodes but just one that's just kind of there.

On one hand, it's nice to have Timothy Dalton get some significant screentime instead of what amounts to cameos or third-act saviour scenes like what we had during the book cult two-parter. I am a huge, huge fan of Dalton from Penny Dreadful and this is certainly welcome for me. On the other hand... I dunno, I'm just not entirely invested in Chief's backstory here. It's certainly well-acted, but it's also kind of long-winded and at the end of the episode I'm still not entirely certain what it wants to tell us about the Chief.

So basically, in 1913, Niles Caulder was an agent for the Bureau of Oddities -- the Bureau of Normalcy's original iteration, where they collect and preserve strange things; before their mission was corrupted into something else. Ultimately, Caulder got lost in some bizarre snowy mountains, gets to meet the enigmatic Oyewah (who's like, a primitive humanoid from an ancient tribe?) and Caulder suffers and goes from a wounded, raving angry captive into someone who gets to respect and even fall in love with his mostly-silent companion. Oyewah is part of some mysterious tribe that also has some skull-headed spirit-like creature, and a couple years later when other Bureau agents show up, Caulder lies to his old partner Alistair, tricks him into drowning and dying to protect his lover from being killed... and subsequently lies to the Bureau of Normalcy.

I mean, that's nice, right? Sure, he does the nasty murder, but he's still protecting his lover, right? The younger Caulder junks his notes on Oyewah to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands, kills a man, and tricks the Bureau into leaving the area alone. It shows a dark but arguably heroic side of Caulder... and I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop considering how Mr. Nobody keeps talking about how he wants to expose Caulder's hypocrisy. Turns out that the 1913-1916 bit is Mr. Nobody forcing Caulder to relive his backstory, and... I dunno. It sure is a nice story, but unlike the previous character-heavy bits of Doom Patrol, I'm not entirely sure what this is meant to tell us.

It does, I suppose, answer the question of the Chief's super-long age. Perhaps my comic-book knowledge does help out a bit, but it is heavily implied that Caulder's seemingly immortal age stems from this probably-magical meeting with Oyewah and her mysterious spirit friend. It's... interesting, but I'm not sure where it's going.

In the present day, Cyborg and Elasti-Girl have to deal with one of the most ridiculous comic book characters that I'm even more surprised is based on a real Doom Patrol villain -- the Beard Hunter! Kind of a loser, he gets contacted by the Bureau for his supernatural powers to learn 'everything that is to know about anyone' by consuming facial hair. Beard Hunter goes into the Doom Manor and we get the absolutely nasty scene of him digging around the Chief's drain to nom nom a hair glob, something that the show absolutely plays up to eleven. Later on, the completely weak-in-fisticuffs Beard Hunter gets strapped to a chair, but after snorting a single beard hair from Cyborg that falls to the ground, apparently means that Beard Hunter can Matrix-fu his way through a fight with Cyborg. Okay? Sure.

A combination of Grid seemingly being somewhat out of control and activating Cyborg's arm cannon involuntarily and Beard Hunter dodging all of Cyborg's shots causes the explosion we see in the previous episode, and Victor trying to shut down his own arm cannon causes Beard Hunter to be free. I'm not sure why Rita doesn't do anything, even without her blobbification/elastic powers I'm sure Rita Farr is more than a match for Beard Hunter but I guess it's just Rule of Plot. Beard Hunter buggers off... only to get seemingly killed by the mysterious horned creature from Chief's backstory. Oh, and also, we sort of get the clue from the comic from Danny the street that some dude called Flex Mentallo is the key to finding Chief.

Kind of weird, sure, and still an enjoyable watch, but once you get past the ridiculousness (and grossness) of Beard Hunter and seeing Timothy Dalton act, this is kind of an underwhelming episode. Maybe I would've liked it better if it was a bit shorter? I dunno.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• Beard Hunter, a.k.a. Ernest Franklin, is an actual Doom Patrol enemy in the comics. In the comics he's even more ridiculous, waging a one-man crusade against facial hair due to being unable to grow one himself due to hormone deficiency, and goes around with his beard-trophies on his belt. His beard-tracking superpowers are original to the show. 
• "Mentall-o's" is, of course, a reference to Doom Patrol member Flex Mentallo from the comics. Flex Mentallo himself is conceptualized in the original comics as being visually inspired by Charles Atlas style ads in the comics at that time. 
• The Bureau of Normalcy/Bureau of Oddities are actually original to the show, but are heavily based on the Men of NOWHERE (a.k.a. the Agency) from the comics.