Agents of SHIELD S03E05 Review: Simmons' Offworld Holiday

Agents of SHIELD, Season 3, Episode 5: 4,722 Hours

Well, this episode gives the entire focus to nothing but Simmons' trials and tribulations on Planet Hellhole for the past, well, four thousand, seven hundred and twenty-two hours. It ends up being far more sci-fi than most of Agents of SHIELD's spy-slash-superhero plot, and it's honestly a change that I welcome. We've got the entire episode spent on Simmons stranded and trapped on this strange, barren wasteland of a planet as the optimism we associate with the character slowly break down ("WHERE IS THE SUN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IT"), trying to find solace with old videos on her phone and as she goes around trying to survive, looking for basic necessities like water and food. All along she discovers the oddities of the planet and the fact that there are others on the barren planet other than her and the tentacle plant-squid monster in the pool. All the while she goes from her upbeat, trying-to-be-positive persona to slowly broken down, as her personal record to 'Fitz' get more and more desperate. It's a great Simmons-centric episode that... we've never really had before. The closest to a Simmons-centric episode was probably that one where she infiltrated the Hydra facility and gets bailed out by Bobbi, but that doesn't really compare to this. Simmons' actress really proved her acting skills and while the "Fitz, oh Fitz" dialogue could've been trimmed down somewhat to, we get a lot of great moments both large and small, from Simmons braving the plant tentacle monster, to short scenes like skipping stones in boredom.

And then, well, she gets captured by a mysterious person! It's a nice little escalation after she figures out how to survive. An actual human instead of an alien, Will, a NASA dude that was sent into the portal in 2002. And while watching Simmons just muck around alone for forty minutes would get stale, the introduction of Will really rubbed me the wrong way. While at first there was this nice charm to Will, this nice mystery of whether he was the one responsible for killing his crewmates (and therefore a danger to Simmons) or if he's telling the truth... and then they had to go throw in the stupid love triangle just to give a gigantic "fuck you" to the Fitz-Simmons shippers.

And it's utterly stupid. I mean, I've nothing against Simmons falling in love with Will. She only began to kiss (and, let's be honest, sleep with) Will after she totally gave up hope on ever coming back to Earth, after they even failed to shoot the bottle into the portal. And a pair of extremely-attractive humans stranded on a planet with no one else, in close proximity almost 24/7, with no hope of coming home, for a relatively long period of time... I don't blame Simmons for falling for Will.

No, the one I blame is the writers, for just shoving in this random character and just making a love triangle -- and it's clear from dialogue in this episode that Will is undoubtedly Simmons' driving force to want to return to that planet. But, again, it really felt out of left field and a gigantic 'fuck you' to the ever-suffering Fitz. And while Arrow and The Flash love their love triangles, what happened in those shows (Oliver/Tommy/Laurel, Oliver/Laurel/Felicity, Oliver/Ray/Felicity, Barry/Eddie/Iris) take place with characters we've known for some time. Randomly introducing Love Interest #2 with no reason other than to be a love competitor? Not good writing. At all.

Going away from Will, the backstory of just what the planet is, and what the mysterious "It" that seemed to be heralded by sandstorms and cause madness (if Will is to be believed, and the dude seem sketchy) and can take the form of dead astronauts is, well, a mystery. And "It" is certainly a pretty awesome sci-fi horror aspect to the story that I thought was handled really well. From Simmons' skepticism to Will, who has figured out how horrifying "It" is and have survived all the while, "It" really adds a sense of threat to the whole situation. And apparently "It" can create gigantic canyons? Add that to the implication from previous episodes that the ancient people might've actually sent sacrifices to the other side of the portal instead of just explorers, and it all adds a surreal, beyond-this-world sense of threat. Which is wonderful.

Some people over in the internets have theorized that Planet Hellhole and "It" are the same thing based on lines of dialogue by Will, how the planet has moods and the planet doesn't want you to leave, and claim that "It" is MCU's version of Ego the Living Planet, a Thor villain who, um, is a living planet. We'll see if this theory holds true.

Also a bit of the tension near the end is kind of broken since we know Simmons will only go through the portal alone at the end of 4700 hours, so their first sojourn to seek the portal after all the calculations felt moot. And around that point it just felt like 'okay, are we going to get anything more than love triangle? No? Boo.'

By the end of the episode Simmons truly apologizes to Fitz, because, well, she's not stupid, she knows the amount of desperation and love Fitz throws her way (and the audience knows too) and she's afraid that by revealing her new beau she will push Fitz away. But Fitz, apparently, just wants his beloved Simmons to be happy and have actually started on trying to figure out a way to open that portal... just because Simmons wanted it. Man, Fitz, you're a cool dude. As much as I hate Will (or rather, the love triangle that he brings to the table), it does show some tender moments for the Fitz-Simmons relationship.

Will is, alas, still alive, and somehow it's sunrise on that planet. Has "It" taken over Will's body? Is he lying about everything? Is Will really "It", and just wants to fuck with Simmons' mind (and, um, body) and force her to come back willingly and possibly bring others with her?

So, overall, I still really enjoyed this episode. Simmons' performance here (or rather, her actress, Elizabeth Henstridge) really sells the episode. It's a truly atmospheric episode, one that felt similar to sci-fi stories set in space, and the sudden change from the spy team atmosphere really worked well. Ultimately, though, the stupid love triangle bullshit really left a sour taste in my mouth.