DC's Legends of Tomorrow S03E12 Review: Pirates of Tomorrow

DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Season 3, Episode 12: The Curse of the Earth Totem

Okay, the previous two episodes have been relatively light, keeping their costuming department and their sets repetitive. That does save some budget for this episode -- the one themed after pirates! It's one that also attempts to progress the main totem-and-Mallus plotline, because this time around the Legends go after the Earth Totem, which is in the possession of one Captain Blackbeard in 1717. I'm not sure if it's the best place to pluck an item out of time instead of, like, the rest of history where the item might be buried elsewhere in someplace where they don't have to be involved, but if you really want to enjoy Legends of Tomorrow you really have to stop treating it like a proper sci-fi show.

Anyway, they're all doing this while... Sara and Ava are having a date and 'trying to be normal' and... yeah, I'm not going to lie. The Sara-has-a-date storyline is so weirdly out of place and while I'm all for fun happy times in Legends, and Caity Lotz is an amazing actress to carry her scenes well, I really just felt like it takes me out of the story even more. Like, I know they're time travelers and everything, but at the same time the whole world's in danger and they have to collect these totems and Ava has to hunt down the rogue Rip Hunter, but they're wasting time having a first date? And letter getting prissy at each other for having to deal with a crisis? It really feels blah.

The actual piracy part of the episode is fun as all get-out, though, as Mick convinces Amaya to have fun and screw the consequences -- as Mick points out, she overthinks things when it comes to time travel, and alongside the other Legends, manages to craft up this talk about how Dread Pirate Jiwe wants to look for Blackbeard and get their treasure. It's a neat character study on Amaya for overthinking things both in her past and future, and it is so much more compelling than the similar but infinitely-worse storyline about destiny they had for the Hawks in the first season. Damien stealing Amaya's spirit totem is even worked into Amaya's character growth, where for the first time she feels truly free from all this talk about destiny.

We get a lot of swashbuckling action as Admirals Damien Darhk and Nora Darhk show up, with Mick and Amaya helping Blackbeard escape the chopping block, or the combined forces of pirates and navy as they fight against Blackbeard's girlfriend, whose undead body has been taken over by the Earth Totem, turning her into a screeching, plant-controlling zombie. It's neat! Of course, things don't go all that well as the Waverider ends up crash-landing in 2018 (coincidentally where Sara's having her date), and the entire team have to show up to assist Dread Pirate Jiwe. Ray shoots Nora with the nanite gun, and it looks actually heartbreaking as Nora just goes limp and you can see the horror in Damien's face grow.

And as Amaya grows as a character, Ray gets wracked by guilt in one of the stronger scenes of the episode as he time-travels back to that moment, offering Damien the serum in exchange for Amaya's totem. Again, it works with Ray having befriended young!Nora and Ray's own boy scout mentality, and as much as Ray looks like a chump when Nora drains his life,  it's how heroes should be. Rescuing even the villains from an untimely death, because as much as the Darhks are cruel, the sight of Damien just blubbering, holding his own dying daughter and almost immediately just tossing Amaya's totem at Ray, is definitely amazingly done.

The episode's other B-plot involves Rip and Wally getting absolutely drunk on rocket fuel, both dealing with their own insecurities with their respective team, feeling abandoned and outshadowed by everything else, and they just... well, pulls poor Gary's pants down, steal Rip's trenchcoat back and sing Careless Whisper in Tokyo of all places. It's fun and all, and it takes place in an episode that's already filled with fun scenes. And, well, that's mostly what I can say about this episode. It's one helluva fun episode, and it even advances the plot -- the Darhks now have Ray captive and the spirit totem (also the fire totem, offscreen), but the Legends have had Ava join them, and soon Rip Hunter and Kid Flash will rejoin it.

DC Easter Eggs Corner:

• The Fire Totem and its involvement in the first season of Vixen is brought up. The remains of the totem is apparently held by Vixen's boyfriend Dr. Lancaster, but Damien Darhk stole it off-screen.