Kamen Rider Kiva E05-06 Review: Will Only Pay For Good Coffee

Kamen Rider Kiva, Episode 5: Duet - Stalker Panic; Episode 6: Replay - Every Person Gives Off Music

A two-parter episode this time. Again, I'll be relatively inconsistent about the format of these episodes -- Kiva is a show that I sort of watch irregularly, and sometimes I watch batches of multiple episodes at once. Anyway, here's two episodes in one. Episode 5, "Duet: Stalker Panic" starts off with a relatively simple storyline in 2008, with Wataru basically being roped in to apologize to all of the random nosy ladies in the neighbourhood for all of his 'ghost boy' antics, but since Wataru is a super-introvert, he ends up panicking and fucking up the violin recital, and man, you really can't help but feel bad for Wataru. I do find it pretty interesting, really -- so many other Kamen Rider protagonists tended to be larger-than-life, bombastic, cock-sure characters. Even the ones that are more reserved always had a quiet air of confidence. And instead, we get poor super-introvert boy Wataru, coming right off a somewhat-similar character in Den-O's Ryotaro.

While all of this is going on, we check up with Megumi and Nago -- Megumi is being stalked by a creeper who's also obviously a Fangire, but the stalker gets chased off by Nago, who, in turn, is following Megumi around while hunting Kiva. Again, not the biggest fan of Nago's attitude in these episodes, because while, yeah, Megumi might be pretty hot-headed and all, Nago's condescending attitude is pretty slappable. Wataru, meanwhile, finds Nago the coolest dude ever (and, granted, he's not wrong, Nago's a pretty cool dude) and asks to be his student.

Nago dispatches Wataru to try and help keep an eye out on Megumi because she's being stalked, and hijinks ensue when Wataru meets the actual stalker, who quickly claims to be another one of Nago's students, and ends up roping Wataru into helping him stalk Megumi, leading to a montage that simultaneously is bizarrely hilarious (Wataru clearly has no idea what he's doing) and also very, very creepy. Eventually, the Stalker Fangire manages to get Wataru to try and steal Megumi's phone, but Megumi catches Wataru in the act. I do like that the show immediately cuts away to Megumi being savvy enough to realize that Wataru was being duped, and rightfully ends up yelling at Nago's face for his utterly stupid decision of endangering Wataru -- who, as far as the two of them knows, is just a random awkward kid.

At the end of episode 5, Megumi ends up meeting the stalker Fangire, who poses as an over-excited otaku fanboy, who wants an autograph before transforming into his Sheep Fangire form and yelling out 'you are mine' and stuff. Megumi tries her damnadest to be cool and shoot the stalker with her crossbow handgun, but we're five episodes in and I've already accepted that the writing team just doesn't really care to make Megumi look all that competent. Kiva shows up and we get some neat fighting, but eventually Nago shows up. Nago doesn't act like a complete idiot about it, but it's clear that his priority is Kiva first, Fangire second, while Wataru is just confused, and this ends up with the Sheep Fangire abducting Megumi.

In 1986, we mostly follow Otoya as he continues to try and fail to flirt with Yuri. And as Otoya's antics follow Yuri all the way to Cafe Mal d'Amour, we get to see Jiro, who the audience have already met in the previous episode as one of Wataru's... minions? Whatever the hell Jiro and the other power-up dudes are doing in Castle Doran is still a huge mystery, and it's definitely part of the flashback/present-day duality that we get to see Jiro in the past and try to decide how in the hell that he ended up seemingly becoming a minion of Otoya's kid. In their first appearance, at least, 1986!Jiro ends up throwing Otoya into the curb.

Jiro's also a very interesting character -- as a coffee addict myself, I do find his attitude pretty interesting as he challenges the owner of the coffee shop -- he refuses to pay if the coffee that is served isn't up to his standards, and we get some pretty fun scenery-chewing combat between Jiro and the shop owner. Because we need to have our parallels, Yuri is also being stalked, except it's not Otoya. While Otoya ends up trying to fight Jiro for his honour (Jiro mostly just ignores him), Yuri leaves them while a Fangire follows her... and gets attacked by the Spider Fangire from the first episode! Otoya and Jiro rush in to discover that Yuri's been abducted, and the cliffhanger ends with both the 1986 and 2008 lead ladies both being abducted by creepy stalker Fangires.

And... it's really kind of a shame. I know, I know, the show's meant for boys, to sell boy toys, and all that jazz, but it's a show in 2008, not, like, the 1980's. And the fact that the show keeps insisting that Megumi and Yuri are bad-ass members of a secret society of vampire hunters, yet consistently show them losing and becoming damsels in distress... kind of unfortunate.

Episode 6 picks up right where we left off, with Kiva doing the good old "superhero ducks into a corner and reverts back to his civilian identity" trick, which I loved. Kivat is completely baffled at Wataru's pussying out, but Wataru's panicking because he doesn't want to disappoint Nago. I do also love that Wataru's social awkwardness and pointing at himself when Nago asks "where did Kiva go?" and then dismissing Wataru as joking around. That's a fun sequence.

We get the revelation that in 2008, the Sheep Fangire is working for the Spider Fangire, who tracks down Megumi specifically because she resembles Yuri, 'the one that got away' back in 1986. It's, again, pretty obvious thanks to their family names, but it's nice to have confirmation that Yuri is Megumi's kid. The Spider Fangire is also pretty damn fucked in the head, going around painting Megumi's nails (and also Yuri's, as we flash back and forth from 1896 to 2008) and making creepy jokes with hand puppets.

The Sheep Fangire, angry that the Spider Fangire has 'stolen' his prey, ends up hunting down Wataru and teaming up with him to get Megumi to himself. Megumi ends up finding up Yuri's necklace, which somehow remained in the same spot for 20 years, and tries to break free. Everything goes to hell, though, when the Sheep Fangire and Wataru show up, and Mr. Sheep, of course, is a creeper and wants Megumi to be his bride.

As the story ramps up, Kiva ends up summoning "Basshaa", surprisingly, instead of Jiro -- you'd think with the heavy Jiro spotlight in the 1986 storyline, he'd be the one to show up, but I do like the restraint of not shoehorning every single parallel possible. Bringing to mind Ryutaros from Den-O, Basshaa is a crazy little kid in a school uniform, being super-excitable and also apparently able to make chess pieces eat each other. We get the debut of Kiva's Basshaa Magnum form -- it's a bit hard to tell, but Basshaa is a Fish-monster, so Kiva essentially gets a massive fin-gun. The CGI for the "Bassha Bite" is pretty damn cool, though, with a whole sequence of the wind blowing through the trees, the skies and the sea becoming dark, a massive water tornado, leading to a massive kamehameha of water... and the sequence of Kiva walking up to the Sheep Fangire, flicking it and shattering the already-dead monster into a billion pieces.

Ultimately, Megumi's safe, and we her talking about 'protecting everyone's music', a neat little callback to something that Otoya tells Yuri in 1986, and Wataru gets a little bit out of his shell in order to perform for Megumi at the hospital.

In 1986, the chairman of the Wonderful Blue Sky Group (is this the first time their glorious name is said on-screen?) ends up asking Otoya to help them out to find Yuri, and I really do question the low standards of their recruiting and membership capabilities. And, of course, in scenes that parallel each other, the Spider Fangire also wants Yuri to be his bride, and ends up dolling her up in a wedding dress.

Otoya shows up to rescue Yuri, but Otoya being Otoya, he gets beaten up in quick succession. Y'know, for all the grief I give Otoya for being a creeper, he is kind of cool in this sequence. Otoya also gets to give a flowery speech about how everything in the world gives off music, and he loves the music he hears from Yuri. Otoya eventually breaks free and attacks the Spider Fangire with two random sticks as the Spider Fangire goes through some bizarre altar ritual. Otoya still gets his ass beaten up.

Jiro, on the other hand, ends up being far, far more successful, what with the ability to transform and everything. Deciding that a "cafe needs a waitress", he ends up attacking the Spider Fangire and fight in the nearby woods. After a brief scuffle, Jiro transforms into a monstrous blue wolf-man creature, and his transformation blows off all his clothes. And as Garulu, Jiro ends up driving away the Spider Fangire.

Ultimately, the 1986 storyline, once more, ends up feeling more of an accessory to the 2008 storyline... but this one felt like it had more thought put into it. An attempt to make Otoya grow out of being a funny greasy persistent flirty man, the whole mystery revolving what the hell Jiro is (is he even a Fangire? He transforms differently) and seemingly leading up to something more. It's also interesting that the Spider Fangire doesn't end up getting killed in this episode... so maybe we'll get our first recurring enemy? Ultimately, once you get past the rather unflattering damsel-in-distress portrayal, these are a pair of relatively solid episodes.

Random Notes: 

• Basshaa's humanoid form name is Ramon, but I don't think anyone's said it on-screen yet. And, yes, I know. "Basshaa" is one hell of an awkward name to write and there's like a gajillion different variations on how to anglicize his name. 
• So, uh... we know Wataru is Otoya's son, and Megumi is Yuri's daughter. Hopefully we're not going to get a W-style Philip/Wakana brother-and-sister-end-up-getting-close-like-siblings-without-knowing-they-are-related. 
• Know Your Fangire: It's the Sheep Fangire this time around, which is such a bizarre creature to assign to a creepy stalker and one whose design with lots of little trinkets hanging off of it looks pretty wacky. Also, the Sheep Fangire has a fucking hand-cannon, that's fun. 
• Thanks to the way I review the episodes by splitting the 2008 and 1986 storylines apart, I don't think I end up noting just how neat the editing for episode 6 is, going back and forth from Yuri to Megumi as they get parallel scenes. 
• I would say that "God is my ally" is one of the most pretentious catchphrases in Kamen Rider, but Dan Kuroto exists. So. 
• I love Jiro's bizarre usage of coffee terms in his dialogue. He looks so god-damned cool, but at the same time, so dorkish when he goes around going "I can't respect a man who can't tell apart a Mt. Kilimanjaro from a Moccaccino." in a super-serious scene.
• We get a sequence where Kivat and Wataru reminisces about the reason that Wataru fights -- and Wataru identifies Otoya's violin, the Bloody Rose, as the one telling him to. I'm not sure if this is just Wataru being melodramatic or if the Bloody Rose does have some supernatural qualities. 
• Easily one of the creepiest scenes in the Sheep Fangire's stalking is that bit where the two of them are sitting at the bottom of the pool looking up at Megumi as she swims. 
• The cave-in-the-woods where Jiro and the Spider Fangire fight each other is far, far more obvious to people who've watched Kamen Rider Gaim, because that's the Overlords' base in Helheim forest! It's also where Snipe and Cronus fought each other near the end of Kamen Rider Ex-Aid.