Tuesday 4 July 2017

Fairy Tail 542 Review: Hold Hands and Sing Kumbaya

Fairy Tail, Chapter 542: Instinct


EDITED! Because I need to make fun of the chapter even more.

Well, we get a single panel of Minerva, Rufus and the others trying to shoot magic at Acnologia, so there's something on that front, at least. They're not completely pointless. Just mostly pointless.

Oh, and in a hilarious showing of plot armour, not even the guild building is allowed to be destroyed anymore, because Acnologia's blast grazed it. Damn, Acnologia, you're shittier than fucking Jose Porla. Also everyone is talking about how Acnologia is now mindless and following the biggest magic concentration on instinct, enforcing that, once more, the whole body-soul split thing was made up on the fly. Again, one chapter before the introdump, Acnologia-in-dragon-mode was still talking and taunting people. 

Acnologia throws around Sting and Rogue, which should be impressive if Sting and Rogue has actually shown themselves to actually be any kind of a threat. He knocks around Gajeel, Wendy trips and falls (really! Acnologia doesn't even touch her!) and Laxus does a 'bwa behind you' thing before getting whacked aside. Can I say for a moment how much I really dislike how Fairy Tail thinks that random pencil scritches to dirty up characters equals injury? That's dumb. Like, I don't understand why people say Fairy Tail has "great art". It's never outright "aw god a five year old could draw better" bad, but compared to literally anything else out there Fairy Tail's art is mediocre at best. 

Gray finds a boat! It belongs to the Alvarez Empire. What was the point of the Alvarez Empire army and where did they disappear to? Fucked if I know. Erza wants to knock Acnologia out of the sky because she's Erza! She's not even pretending like she's going to need the help of the others, and I actually find that so hilarious. I'm not sure why Lucy is both in the guild and on the docks with Gray at the same time, although that could be Anna. Or Chelia. Who the fuck is that, if it's not Lucy? I mean, if there's a manga with an artstyle that causes most of its cast to look generically similar, it's certainly Fairy Tail. Like, if not for the lipstick and eyeliner, Midnight and Doranbolt would look similar too. Like, I'm sorry, it's gotten even worse in the past few chapters.

Lucy thrusts her hand up holding a book, proclaiming that that is the book that will allow her to use Fairy Sphere. Without reading it first. Because of course. Did you say that because that's the only book with the Fairy Tail symbol on its cover? Dense bitch. (Of course, she's probably right, because this manga is dense as fuck) Also because the author is also lonely as hell and maybe needs like ten minutes of alone time in the bathroom to relieve some pent-up tension, of course the panel has Lucy's panties peek out a little. Good fuck, man.

Also what the FUCK was the point of the whole "let's find a book" arc? No manga finale, no matter how horse shit (looking at you, Naruto) had a subplot as pointless, boring and out of place like this.

Cobra's organs gets pulverized by a single kick from Acnologia. Because, shit, it's so important to get a spotlight on Cobra, character who's never been relevant beyond having a cool-sounding name. (Also, add Cobra to another character that looks exactly like Doranbolt and Midnight, only his defining features this time around being his mullet) He keeps shouting shit like that, and I really don't give a shit. Like, did we really need him shouting about how "I HAVE FRIENDS BLAH BLAH BLAH LOOK AT ME I AM SO RELEVANT"

Like, seriously. When has Cobra ever been a character? He shows up in the Oracion Seis arc, a generic poison-using dragon user with a cool design (even if that cool design is just 'spiky-haired anime dude in a jacket') and a flying snake, has poison dragon powers and super hearing, gets beaten in two chapters and his stupid-ass 'wish' was to talk to his snake (what the fuck), he shows up for literally two panels in the supremely underwhelming "dragons come forward in time" fight and disappears for the rest of the arc, and then shows up as non-speaking roles all the way through. Like, shit, man, moreso than any other character like Natsu or Sting shouting about friendship and shit, there's absolutely jack shit about Cobra's speech that anyone should care about.

Also, Sting and Rogue! So fucking relevant. Does Sting even have a personality beyond 'ZOMG Natsu so kewl'? Rogue at least used to have that brief 'I am moving out of the shadow of my old idol Gajeel' and 'I have the potential to be eeeeeeeeevil', which was half-assedly-handled, but does Sting have a personality? Like, shit, man, Sting and Cobra. Why are they not fodders already?

The Oracion Seis dudes creating huge magical explosions to draw Acnologia is kinda cool, though, I have to admit, probably the only not-stupid thing in the fight scenes against Acnologia. Although I had to frown and ask "who in the hell if Macbeth?" before realizing it's Midnight's real name by process of elimination. God, did the Oracion Seis's real names even matter beyond giving a sneaky hint at Angel's sister's identity? Also, I remember enough of this manga to know that Racer doesn't even have super speed, he just slows down the time of people around him or some shit. So, yeah, great job at keeping continuity there, oh writer of Fairy Tail, when someone like me who doesn't give a shit about the manga can remember more about it than you.

You know what's stupid, though? Some Z-lister like Rufus who tries so hard to be memorable that he tries to fit in his catchphrase into every single thing he says. Like, Rufus has absolutely nothing else going on for him beyond "oh, that memory magic guy" so he says absolutely dire shit like "I've already memorized that you'll chase after magic!" Like, shit, I've seen better dialogue from Challenge of the Super Friends and the old 80's Transformers cartoon, and those are cartoons that thrive on one-note characters.

Also, the Oracion Seis make use of a huge explosion made by Midnight to attract Acnologia, but the Sabertooth morons somehow... er... light up a very minimal-effort aura around their bodies? Because, uh, that attracts Acnologia somehow? Mother fucker, you've got someone who can shoot lightning cannons, create memory magic and whatever weird space bullshit that Minerva can do, and all you can think of them to do is glowing auras? At the very least make the ending visually entertaining! I mean, this is the same writer who thinks a punch to the face is an epic conclusion to every single goddamn fight, so, yeah.

Also, Lucy, Freed and Levy leave Makarov behind in the burning city because he's an old piece of shit that should be dead twice already and have been revived to do nothing but kickstart stupid plotlines by doing stupid things.

Another montage of people saying basically the same "we'll stop you Acnologia!" bullshit. And then Acnologia laughs gu ha ha ha ha because he has nothing else to do but to do huge laughs. Dude, Acnologia, you failed to even knock down an eight year old girl. You don't impress me. Like, god, I don't think there is a villain out there that could be worse than Kaguya from Naruto, but man, Acnologia wins so much, hands down, as the worst final villain in fiction ever. If I didn't know better I'd think that this was a parody. Like, seriously, I'm truly hard-pressed to think of anything even remotely close to the stupidity that is Acnologia.

Like, seriously, did we get an answer for why Acnologia hasn't been able to instantly crystallize the other dragon slayers? He had no problem doing that to everyone but Natsu, but now he's just laughing like a moron. And has it ever been explained what Acnologia was doing in-between the ancient times and Tenrou Island? Or how he was able to transform back and forth between human and dragon when the whole point of Igneel and the others' sacrifice was to prevent Team Natsu from transforming permanently into dragons? Beyond "Acnologia is special magic herp derp" answers, I mean.

Also, who the fuck was that on the far left corner next to Erza going all "leave the rest to me"? She gets a close up and that's one of Fairy Tail's moronic montage-of-named-characters-reacting-identically, but if you held a gun to my head and told me to identify that, I don't think I would know who the shit that is. Did Lisanna dye her hair black off-screen?

Oh, hey, look, Gildarts! Hyped up as oh my god so strong that seeing his aura causes Natsu to give up because it's an insurmountable mountain! Hyped up as basically one-punch man! The ultimate badass and all that shit! I actually forgot he exists. Did he do anything at all in this arc? So fucking relevant.

And then they prepare to hold hands and sing kumbaya to activate Fairy Sphere. Like, I'm not even joking -- it's like a shitty Care Bears parody here. Evergleam and Elfman hold hands to prepare to unleash Fairy Sphere. Like, these two morons. Ever in particular is just the perfect example of a fiction's poor example at treating women. Like, she's introduced in a set with the other Thunder God Guard dudes, yeah? But where Bickslow and Freed still have the occasional badass moment from time to time, like on Tenrou Island or when they fought Waldo or whoever from Alvarez, anytime Ever shows up it's to make the shippers squee because she's holding hands with Elfman, because that's sooooo developed a romance and the two characters aren't just caricatures of common romantic sitcom character tropes.

Acnologia unleashes a stream of exploding glitter or some stupid-looking shit, and blows up everything except for the ground the characters are standing on. Like, what the fuck? Why didn't Acnologia do that before when he's chasing the Sabertooth and Oracion guys? If it's purely because of instinct (because that dumb bitch Minerva is so fixated on that theory) and he's just shooting at his arch-nemesis the boats, why did he shoot the giant blasts a couple chapters back to blow up cities without our protagonists in it? Also, why am I spending so much time thinking about it?

Also how did our protagonists survive? Like, shit, man, Acnologia's a completely ineffective villain. It's not even someone putting up a magical shield or something like, oh, I dunno, Gildarts punching the air or Freed making rune shields or Gray making an ice wall or something. The writer's just too lazy or can't be bothered to make up even a half-assed explanation beyond "welp, they survived, let's make another montage of people speaking half-sentences to react to this fact!'

This makes Acnologia less successful of a villain compared to those weird dragon-men fodder thing from the climax of the grand magic games arc. Remember those weird dragon-men things? They managed to kill Macao and Gray, motherfucker! Like, jeez, Acnologia failed to catch up to Christina, failed to kill anyone with his apocalypse beams of destruction, failed to crush Jellal in his hands, failed to even damage anyone in the soul dimension including the nine-year old girl, failed to wound or cripple even a single person (even if we're operating on some retarded Shonen no-kill-protagonists route, 'knock out unconscious' is still on the table) in this war other than God Serena (who clearly sucks balls because all it took was Erza squinting and glaring for his soul to crap itself and die)...

Serious question, is anyone still taking Acnologia seriously as a real threat in the past few chapters? If you did, and I'm trying to say this in the most polite way that I can: please, for the love of your brain cells, read any other action manga. Like, literally anything else, because you're clearly such a shut-in that Fairy Tail's the only manga you've ever read. The other option is that you're a brain-dead idiot and I don't want to be mean.

God, this is just so entertaining to read. Such a stupid ass story. Such a stupid ass villain. Such a stupid-ass plot.

12 comments:

  1. To answer your questions in order:

    - With the Alvaraz Army, I think most of them were wiped out when Eileen transformed them into berserk monsters so that Makarov could cast his fakeout-death Fairy Law spell - that was pretty much the only reason they ever existed story-wise, I think.

    - The woman on the docks, I believe, is Lisanna - you know, Mirajane and Elfman's sister, who hasn't been relevant since her revival? She got a hairstyle change in the pointless one-year timeskip that makes her look a lot more like Lucy, since I think it's implied she took after Lucy to try and be more outgoing. It also may as well be proof positive of how the characters have gotten more generic to each-other in appearance as well as power, since literally the only visual difference between Lisanna and Lucy's faces are that the latter's eyes are shaded differently.

    - Cobra actually got a bit more respect in the anime adaptation, in one of the filler arcs of all things (Eternity Clock, I think the arc was called?). In it, he gets to meet his snake Kianna, who was actually under a curse but regained their human form (which, surprise surprise, was a big-breasted girl) after Oracion Seis was beaten, and she joined Fairy Tail afterwards - in fact she's actually in this very chapter (she's the one you didn't recognize in the panel next to Erza; the girl with the short black hair and the sleepy expression). Kianna gets established in the filler arc as Cobra's morality pet, pleading for him to go straight for her sake, which he does and turns himself in to serve his time, foreshadowing how Jellal would eventually "redeem" him. It's sappy as all hell, but even that was more dignifying than the manga in that it actually GAVE Cobra a reason to spout lines like this; the manga never even did that much.

    - For why Acnologia didn't destroy the world during the 400 years he was around... it'd be boring. Literally, the only reason just because he didn't have anyone challenging enough to fight to make it feel worth it - or in other words, that he's somehow a *less nuanced version of Natsu.* Supposedly, his ability to change back and forth is because of how powerful he got after feeding off all the other dragons - at least I think so? Might have also been to do with how his original magic was "Spirit Dragonslayer Magic" or something - hell if I know.

    To start with... I really don't get the whole "blind instinct" thing with Acnologia. I mean... wasn't he *laughing* in the last page of the chapter, after blowing up all the boats? You typically need cognition to find humor in an action, even moreso if you're laughing at the expense of others and recognize their loss as your gain (again, like Acnologia seemingly was), so how could he be as mindless and as the story's claiming?

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    1. Yeah, the blind instinct thing is just silly, but Mashima might just drop any half assed explanation knowing the small amount of people who's still fans of this crap to act like it's some huge revelatory word of god, just like the Ravines of Time and Anna Heartphilia.

      Lisanna's just never been relevant, yeah? Like even in Edolas she's a background character.

      Wait, so black haired girl is actually Cobra's snake? That sounds stupid. Though kudos for Mashima for including anime filler characters, clearly respecting the anime staff for writing better stories for his characters than he did.

      Acnologia didn't destroy the world because it'd be boring? But... but... what? What the fuck? Also how does that make him similar to Natsu beyond the two of them being crappily written characters? So why did he show up so conveniently during Tenrou, then? Blah. Whatever. Done trying to figure Acnologia out.

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    2. Yep; black-haired girl/Kianna (or maybe it's Kinana - not sure I care enough to make sure) was Cobra's snake, in truth a human who got transformed by a dark wizard's curse and adopted by Cobra as a pet, and eventually became his morality pet as the only one he really cared about. Originally, her human form was actually kind of stocky with a round face, but she got the same Ms Fanservice treatment that every other one of teen and young-adult woman got as the series went on/degenerated. Also, she wasn't actually an anime character; her human-turned-into-snake story was from the manga, too - it's just that the anime bothered to make her presence in Fairy Tail have *some* minuscule shred of relevance to the overall story by contributing to Cobra's eventual change-of-heart, including a ship-tease ... so we can't even give Mashima that much credit XD

      And to explain Acnologia's motivation... it's basically the polar opposite of Saitama/similar to Lord Boros, insulting as I know it is to compare anything from Onepunch Man to this crap. Acnologia's OP as hell and share's Saitama and Boros' belief that overwhelming power makes everything dull and boring. Acnologia basically just wants to wreck things... but he'll only actually enjoy doing so if there's a challenge to it. He craves destruction, but it's not fun if it's completely one-sided - in his mind, there's no point starting a fight he feels he'll win anyway. This, in turn, makes him similar to Natsu in that they're both Dragon-Slayer characters who's core character trait is "big fight = big fun!" - but unlike Natsu, this is Acnologia's *only* character trait, period... making him something I once thought was impossible; a less nuanced version of Natsu by comparison to the rest of FT's cast. He's not like Boros where he was longing for a challenge, and he's not like Saitama who wants to find a purpose - he just wants to have a really, really big fight and blow stuff up, but won't enjoy doing so if the fight doesn't have any challenge... you know, kinda like a little bully-brat who wants a tough fight on the assumption of "I'ma gonna win always, so I want it to be tough for once!"

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    3. Also, the reason Acnologia went to Trenou was basically because he sensed Zeref was there after the latter set off his magic to kill Hades. Zeref, being immortal with the strongest death-magic, was the only person Acnologia thought could give him a fight, so off to Trenou he went - when Zeref said he'd "summoned" Acnologia, it was simply that the idiot came running to find a good fight, same as Natsu would do with Grey.

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    4. So if Acnologia's biggest desire is to find someone strong enough to defeat, why is he going around rampaging and beating up weak dragon slayers now? If he considers Natsu, Gajeel et al strong enough *now*, why not chase after them, oh, post-timeskip? Or after the Alvarez arc started, at the latest? God, Acnologia's motivations is just so utterly messy. Which I suppose is keeping in theme his 'incomprehensible' nature, it's just incomprehensible in a different way.

      The Kianna filler sub-plot sounds cheesy and silly as all hell, but it's still a better story than what we're getting here. Also I cannot for the life of me remember anything about her as a manga-exclusive reader. Like, I can't even remember her ever showing up, let alone whenever she showed up in the manga.

      Also comparing Acnologia with Boros or Saitama (or Bleach's Kenpachi, or One Piece's Zoro) is kind of... not quite the same, because with Boros, Saitama, Kenpachi, Zoro and most of the other 'I live for the thrill of the battle!' anime archetypes, they tend to actually, like you said, have something more to them beyond the single character trait. And especially in this final arc Acnologia has gone through such a gigantic badass decay (or effectiveness decay, more accurately). Although honestly I would say that his role as the big bad apocalypse dragon has never been sold to me. Sure, he tanked the entire Fairy Tail guild, but failed to kill any of them -- Fairy Sphere blocked his attack despite them being already wounded from fighting Hades and his troops. His appearance in the Tartaros arc in retrospect is also stupid because he lost an arm to an already-dying dragon. And in Alvarez all he did is kill God Serena, but then proves completely incompetent whenever he actually fights a protagonist character be it Natsu, Jellal or even a nobody like Cobra.

      So much for the "oh my god God Serena beat all three of the strongest mages in the country and then Acnologia one-shotted God Serena", huh? The Worf Effect means jack shit when the villain continues to act like a moron.

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    5. Well, if the "I'm done with this world, Black Wizard" comment he gave when finding Erza and Wendy twenty chaps or so back is any indication... Mashima's basically saying he got bored of being bored. He figures he's never going to get his big fight, especially if Zeref goes out, so he figures "I guess if it makes no difference when I do it, might as well be now." Not that this is a rational kind of progression to have, but as has been said before, Mashima thinks that making a character be insane (like Acnologia and Eileen apparently were made by their dragon transformations) is a free pass to have how they act change whenever you want it to :P

      Kianna's rally only been mentioned by name all of twice in the actual manga, at least definitively - her introduction as a stocky kid post Seis-Arc, and her re-introduction as a grown up curvy chick in the post-timeskip/early part of the GMG-Arc. The anime's the one that ever did anything with her existence, though - as far as the manga's concerned, she's just been some more "eye-candy."

      Well, that's kinda why I said they were similar only in one regard - Acnologia, like Boros and Saitama, finds his overwhelming power makes everything boring. But that;s where the similarities end on the Saitama part, and Boros at least was willing to extend an offer of camaraderie to others(?). Acnologia's just basically "a hammer who breaks everything except for when that's too boring to be worth it".

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    6. "Getting bored of being bored" is hands down the most utterly stupid motivation for a character I've ever seen. I mean, if done smartly it could be some kind of commentary on pathos or some shit like that, but Acnologia is certainly not an intelligently-written character. Like, god, between Zeref, Acnologia and Eileen this arc is just full of morons with inconsistent characterization that just moves around randomly. (Don't compare Acnologia to a hammer, that's an insult to hammers.)

      Can't remember Kianna showing up in the manga, but by your description she's negligible anyway.

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    7. All too true - on both counts ^_^

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  2. I don't really like Erza the way I used to. She just doesn't feel like a human being anymore. If there is one thing that this show has taught me it's that only fairy tail feelings matter. Every other side characters are just there as props and villains are just bowling pins ready to be knocked down at any moment

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    1. I think that's the case with most, if not all, of Fairy Tail's main cast. Their appearances have gotten more similar (Lucy and Lisanna's faces are near-indistinguishable now aside from one's eyes being darker, Minerva now looks like Erza with eye-shadow and a different hairstyle, Gray and Jellal are in the same boat as those, etc).

      Their behaviors have as well - in an attempt at "character development", Lucy now is more willing to jump into fights and challenges Natsu to one when they first meet again after the one-year timeskip. It looked like it was supposed to illustrate how she gradually emulated the others, but it's done in such a cookie-cutter fashion that it instead looks like the exact same behavior for all characters overwriting any unique aspects. Same for most of the powers - pretty much everyone has deus-ex mashima beam blast or energy attacks now, and any magic unique to them is only brought out when the plot calls for it.

      Long story short; in my personal opinion, the characters *all* stopped feeling like human beings a long time ago.

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    2. All of the characters ended up being reduced to a very bland, generic "we will fight for our guild/friends" mould with maybe one or two Flanderization of a trait they used to show before. And that's not counting the artstyle either.

      And it's not everyone's powers that became similar either, it's even their personalities. Where everybody ended up in the Avatar arc is actually a half-baked but still sensible place for them to land, but of course because Natsu has no respect for his friends' wishes and only wants that 'my guild's friendship and bonds are the most important thing ever' and everyone else treats it similarly...

      I mean, not that any of the Z-list like Evergleam or Levy actually ever had a personality, but characters like Erza, Gajeel, Wendy, Laxus and Juvia are so reduced to simple caricatures of what originally made them interesting. Is there anything left of the "lonely girl who would jump at any group who would accept her" Juvia? No, because she's been reduced to a one-note Gray-sama machine. Erza? Hardass warrior with a tragic backstory? Haha no, she's just 'rawr I will do this thing by myself because I am a badass'. Or Laxus -- whatever happened to the magical powerhouse punk with daddy issues from before? The heel-face turn made sense, yes, but after the Hades fight, Laxus's basically transformed in a huge 180 into just a generic Natsu cheerleader.

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  3. Well, i'm happy that you have see the magnus opus which is fairy tail term of ironic humor.


    And for Acnologia, i never find him really terrifying for the simple reason that it exist in their universe magical nuke. I really dont see the difficulty for killing him with their magic. or yet just throw him edolas where he will be trap forever (and if the heroes Would not have done so, i dont see why zeref doesn't).

    It's like if in one piece the emperor where alive but the GW has some nuke but dont use because of some reason (mainly because the manga will be over).

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