Note from the author: I know the formatting is apparently a bit fucked-up for some of the Generation IV and V gotta-review-em-all segments. I've tried to fix it but it keeps showing up with random spaces between bullet points and stuff. If/when I have time I'll have to do some copy-and-paste shenanigans to fix some of the broken formatting.
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#524-526: Roggenrola, Boldore & Gigalith
- Types: Rock [all three]
- Japanese names: Dangoro, Gantoru, Gigaiasu
- Categories: Mantle [Roggenrola], Ore [Boldore], Compressed [Gigalith]
These guys are Unova's answer to the Geodude line, and these are where the Unova dex start going rapid-fire with the "counterparts" to the Kanto pokemon. Roggenrola is also a three-stage cave-dwelling pokemon that's just a sentient rock monster, and to evolve into its final form, it must be traded. Hell, just like Geodudes and Gravelers, Roggenrolas and Boldores also often come with the Sturdy ability meaning they can survive being one-hit-KO'd, making them especially annoying in caves. But honestly? I actually end up really liking the evolution line. Geodude, Graveler and Golem are just rock monsters with faces, and that's absolutely fine! Roggenrola's line are just... rocks, and they look pretty alien and wacky, and honestly having a rock beast as weirdly different as Roggenrola exist alongside Geodude is far, far more acceptable than just churning out songbirds that evolve identically to vaguely raptor-like birds of prey. Roggenrola's entire line is also pure-Rock type, which means they're actually exempt from the dreaded 4x weakness that many of the first-generation Rock/Ground dual-typed pokemon have.
Roggenrola's name isn't my favourite localized name, but I definitely am a big fan of his design. He's just a hard-angled rock with a single robot-esque hexagonal eye, two cute stubby legs and a horn. You can just see him waddling along, looking at the world through that soulless eye... if it even is an eye, because as the pokedex points out... it's actually an ear. Roggenrola likely "sees" the world through sound, and for something that lives in a cave, it actually even makes sense. This little rock buddy actually panics and will topple over comically if the sounds randomly stop. Newer dex entries even note that Roggenrola likes to compete with Geodudes and Carbinks to see who has the hardest body. Roggenrola is also noted for having a powerful energy core deep within its body. Hilariously, the Ultra Sun dex warns you to "never stick your hand" into Roggenrola's hole. Heh.
Roggenrola evolves into Boldore, and he's got a chunk of rock coming down on his face that divides the cyclopean hexagonal ear-eye into two. Boldore is some sort of weird rock crab, with red crystals jutting out of its "mouth" and its "shoulders" and the tips of its three legs, and it ends up as such a strikingly weird critter that ends up actually looking pretty cool. Apparently those orange crystals are the evolved version of the "energy core" that Roggenrola hints about, and they can be harvested as fuel. According to the Black 2/White 2 entries, Boldore will always face the same way, instead scuttling backwards, forwards and sideways like some kind of wacky crab. It's a neat mental image.
By trading, Boldore evolves into Gigalith.... and, not going to lie, Gigalith's always been a bit of a disappointment. I was expecting a huge faceless rock-crab-spider monster, maybe a Rock/Electric or Rock/Steel considering all that talk about energy cores... but Gigalith ends up looking a bit too mundane for my liking. That's not a huge complaint, and while we lose the cool mono-eyed faceless deal, the resulting face formed out of crystal horns, two ear-eye-holes and a weird set of crystal fangs is pretty damn badass. Gigalith also has a very, very weird and unconventional quadrupedal pose that looks appropriately alien, with chunky, low-set legs and a squat body. It's inarguably cool, and definitely continues the crystal-beast theme, although I've always felt that there is something that they kind of dropped compared to Boldore and Roggenrola. Still, Boldore is hella cool, and apparently it absorbs solar rays through its crystals, and then blasted at enemies... which is basically the Grass-type Solarbeam. It's a shame that Gigalith isn't a weird Rock/Grass type and the crystals are some sort of weird rock-fungus deal, but that's okay, honestly -- Gigalith is a rock monster that doesn't readily resemble any real-life animal, yet still looks pretty organic, and that's pretty damn cool. I didn't start off as the biggest fan of this line, but now? Now I really like it.
5/6.#527-528: Woobat & Swoobat
- Types: Psychic/Flying [both]
- Japanese names: Koromori, Kokoromori
- Categories: Bat [Woobat], Courting [Swoobat]
Ostensibly the supposed 'clones' to Zubat and Golbat, this time around we've got Woobat and Swoobat, although, like Roggenrola, they actually go for the exact opposite trope of what they were going with Zubat. While Zubats look hostile, scrawny and vampiric, Woobat and Swoobat are fluffy and happy and they just want to snuggle around with you! The two are also Psychic/Flying, and I'm not quite sure why they're psychic. Probably the same reason Zubat's poison, which is "no reason at all". I've never quite taken to Woobat's design as much as I do Zubat or Gligar, though -- I like the idea of a fluffy ball of fur with wings, but something about Woobat just doesn't quite grab me that well. I get what they're going for -- Woobat's ball-of-fur design is a very neat stylized design of the Honduran white bat (Ectophylla alba) which are literally just cute balls of bat fur. Its heart-nose is a very literal interpretation of the heart-nosed bat. Like actual Honduran white bats, Woobats are noted to not just live in caves, but also in forests, and apparently their heart-shaped marks bring good fortune. Said heart markings are the origin of a move introduced in this generation -- the psychic-type physical move Heart Stamp, only learnable by Woobat and Jynx -- surprisingly appropriate, actually, in the latter's case.
Woobat's not as cute or fluffy as it probably could've been, I think, but it evolves into the more traditionally bat-like Swoobat, very appropriately via a friendship evolution. Honduran white bats actually form very adorable, close-knit family groups, and since Woobat's going to play down all the vampiric loner screeching gargoyle-beast tropes, they're going to play up all the other positive tropes for bats. I definitely enjoy Swoobat's design, with her neat-looking bat ears, her happy little feet sticking out of the fur, and that doofy-ass grin. That twirled tail may be a bit too much, though, turning the design ever-so-slightly more cluttered than it could've been.
Sadly, like many other fifth-generation pokemon, the dex entries for Swoobat are dolorously banal, just repeating the same "it can weaponize ultrasound into sonic booms" nonsense over and over. It's a psychic bat, but the dex doesn't really give us any real explanation or note as just what it does with its psychic powers, which is a huge shame. Still, I like these two reasonably enough. My preferred style of bats lean more towards creepy vampire bats like Zubat, but Woobat and Swoobat are too cheerful and happy to not at least elicit the feeling of 'like'.
4/6.#529-530: Drilbur & Excadrill
- Types: Ground [Drilbur], Ground/Steel [Excadrill]
- Japanese names: Moguryu, Doryuzu
- Categories: Mole [Drilbur], Subterrene [sic, Excadrill]
Ah, the "Diglett and Dugtrio" of Unova. Yeah, okay, maybe their attempt at releasing so many contrasting-callbacks to the first generation while at the same time writing out said first generation from the games wasn't a good idea, but I honestly think that the fifth generation isn't as bad as people make it out to be. Monkeys aside. The pure-Ground Drilbur is a mole pokemon whose whole deal and gimmick was burrowing and making tunnels, and Diglett is a wonderful, hilarious concept... but Drilbur is actually designed to look like a mole. It's got an appropriately large pair of shovel-claws that look like they can take out an eye, but the rest of it looks pretty ordinary, and I really wished they had done something more to spice up Drilbur's design other than just the random (although pleasingly asymmetrical) streaks of purple on its body. The best part of Drilbur, though, is the ability to put his arms together and just spin around, burrowing through the ground like a drill-torpedo. These pokemon are also encountered as part of the dust-cloud mechanic, where while wandering around a cave, little dust-clouds containing a Drilbur will chase you down.
Excadrill is the big, badass evolution. While I'm somewhat sad Drilbur doesn't take the Diglett/Dugtrio joke to its logical conclusion and give us a hideous mutated triple-headed Cerberus mole, Excadrill is pretty fucking awesome. Its claws are jagged and metallic, and it's got an extra horn that just out of its forehead that's also metal and jagged. All three parts form the now spiky-drill mode of Excadrill. It also looks pretty angry, and I'm a fan of how the head-blade ends up looking like some sort of a hat. I think the line would look pretty bland if Excadrill just looks like a bigger, fatter, spikier Drilbur. Excadrill is also a Ground/Steel thanks to that upgrade.
Initially, I didn't really pay much heed to Excadrill. It's a neat design, but not my thing. I think the gym leader Clay uses one, but otherwise it's just a cool footnote. But I actually used an Excadrill a couple of times, first on a playthrough of White 2 and then as one of the longest-running survivors on a Nuzlocke challenge, and it's grown on me significantly since then -- maybe if I play through Nuzlockes enough and experienced all 800+ Pokemon, I'll grow to appreciate them more? Like Zebstrika, Excadrill might not be the most creative design, but it's definitely solid and easily likable.
Initially, I didn't really pay much heed to Excadrill. It's a neat design, but not my thing. I think the gym leader Clay uses one, but otherwise it's just a cool footnote. But I actually used an Excadrill a couple of times, first on a playthrough of White 2 and then as one of the longest-running survivors on a Nuzlocke challenge, and it's grown on me significantly since then -- maybe if I play through Nuzlockes enough and experienced all 800+ Pokemon, I'll grow to appreciate them more? Like Zebstrika, Excadrill might not be the most creative design, but it's definitely solid and easily likable.
4/6.#531: Audino
- Types: Normal
- Japanese names: Tabunne
- Categories: Hearing
Audino is sort of the Chansey of this generation. I say sort-of, because Audino isn't anywhere as rare as Chansey. In fact, there is a chance of Audino appearing in rustling grass (another new mechanic -- sometimes a patch of grass will rustle at random, which has a population that tends to be stronger) at any route in Unova. Audino's the big defensive Normal-type that is pink and happy and also works as a medical helper in Pokemon Centers... and I'm not a big fan of Audino. Pink moe-blobs have always been more hit-and-miss, but Audino's design is so generic and it has so little going on with it beyond its weird stethoscope ear-tentacles. Mostly because of a pun on 'hearing' and 'healing', I bet. At least they gave Audino an in-universe ability to justify its usage in Pokemon medical centers, but it's honestly a pokemon that I'm not a particularly big fan of. It's so boring, from a design and a lore perspective. Also not a big fan on how it's tail is a starkly-different blob of whipped cream white compared to the main body's pink and pale yellow. It's also one of the strongest candidates to go Fairy in the sixth generation, but it didn't. For no real good reason, honestly. Overall, not an unpleasant design, but honestly they could definitely have done more.
2/6.#532-534: Timburr, Gurdurr & Conkeldurr
- Types: Fighting [all three]
- Japanese names: Dokkora, Dotekkotsu, Robushin
- Categories: Muscular [all three]
These guys are the three-stage Fighting line that resemble vaguely humanoid silhouettes, being the equivalents to Machop in this generation. And while the Machop line tends to be met with love or indifference at worst (I certainly like them), the Timburr line tends to be mocked and reviled as much as the monkeys and... and I can definitely see why. They're not as offensively bad as the monkeys in my opinion, since there's at least some effort at making them interesting, but by and by the end up being somewhat disappointing. The idea of an ugly weird goblin-ogre evolution line that fights with weapons isn't a bad one, and you'll see that many of my favourite designs tend to not be ones that are traditionally pretty or cool. But there are definitely many, many factors that detract from this line being particularly pleasing, and I'm sure I've gone on record about saying that Gurdurr is one of my least favourite designs ever, and I still stand by that.
See, pokemon that are based on a certain occupation -- with the Timburr line being based on construction workers -- always hit-and-miss. But throw the weird chunks of weapons, like Timburr's wooden plank, Gurdurr's giant girder and Conkeldurr's two big concrete chunks... and it's not a bad design (Marowak does it, and so does many others), but definitely a lot more awkward. But then you add the stupid-sounding English names, and then look at their designs... Timburr's design has all these random pink lines and veins throughout its design, an unnecessary pair of horns jutting out from its back, and the weirdly drawn... pompadour? And you can see why they're not popular. Timburr's concept as a little gremlin that whacks people with a block of wood isn't bad, but the execution is pretty bad.
2/6 for Timburr.
Gurdurr, on the other hand, is a design that I'm not going to defend in any way. Timburr looks neat in that little-gremlin way, and Conkeldurr is a big grumpy gorilla-ogre thing, but Gurdurr? How do you take someone who fights with a girder and make it look so horrifyingly dumb? Gurdurr's design is just all ugly. The pink veins look even worse... some people note that they're supposed to represent flexing veins, but it just makes it look even more gross. Gurdurr also gains a clown nose for no real reason, and his head looks like he fell down a flight of stairs. But worst of all is the silhouette of his body. It's so weirdly top-heavy, with huge, ballooned arms, a randomly thin waist and such a poorly-drawn lower body that Gurdurr ends up causing me to wince any time I look at it. A fighting-type that weaponizes a steel girder like a battle staff should be awesome, but Gurdurr is horrifyingly ugly.
It actually kinda hurts me to look at Gurdurr, which is a shame. I've always thought I hated the whole line, but after thinking about it it's just Gurdurr that I really dislike.
0/6 for Gurdurr.
Conkeldurr isn't as likable as Timburr, but a vast improvement over the horrible abomination that is Gurdurr. He looks like a grumpy old troll, and having a slightly more expanded waist makes Conkeldurr's silhouette, while not perfect, still a bit more acceptable. The giant fingers holding two concrete bars are somewhat threatening, although it's all somewhat ruined by the face. It's like the artist doesn't know whether to go all the way with the grumpy grandpa deal or to make him comical, so they stuck another rubber red nose on his face. Not a big fan of the weird... topknot? Jeez, I really wished that Conkeldurr and Timburr are actually allowed to have their hair be coloured like hair. I mean, Conkeldurr has that gray goatee. Conkeldurr isn't my favourite design, not by a long shot, but it's got some decent concepts for a cool troll or ogre construction builder that sadly gets absolutely ruined in the execution. Hopefully this really kind of outlines what my thoughts are for these three -- I don't hate them because "hurr durr construction clowns dumb", I actually find the concept interesting, but executed poorly.
2/6 for Conkeldurr.#535-537: Tympole, Palpitoad & Seismitoad
- Types: Water [Tympole], Water/Ground [Palpitoad/Seismitoad]
- Japanese names: Otamaro, Gamagaru, Gamageroge
- Categories: Tadpole [Tympole], Vibration [Palpitoad/Seismitoad]
Hey froggos! Ostensibly this generation's answer to the Poliwag line, Tympole actually doesn't have much in common beyond the tadpole/frog motif. Tympole actually gets to naturally transform into an adult frog, and doesn't need water stones or king's rocks to attain its final form. Likewise, it's a marsh creature that becomes Water/Ground in the same vein of Quagsire or Swampert as its final evolution. That said, though, Tympole isn't my favourite tadpole. It looks like a far more juvenile tadpole compared to Poliwag, without any limbs. The entire evolutionary line is themed more on sounds, which is a common trope in Japan since frogs are noisy as hell, and many frogs in Japanese-originated culture (Legend of Zelda, Naruto, Digimon to name a few on top of my head) do end up having sound abilities. The name for "tadpole" in Japan, otamajakushi, is apparently a homophone for "musical note", which means that, yes, just like those Zora tadpoles in Majora's Mask, Tympole's based on a musical note.
There's ultimately a bit too much going on with Tympole that makes me not embrace him as much as I do Poliwag, with its weird flesh-coloured face, the wart-headphones (which is simultaneously hilarious and weird). Their dex entries actually ends up giving some neat tidbits about how they live, vibrating their cheek organs to emit sound waves to warn its buddies of danger -- something that some species of toads and frogs can actually do through organs called the tympanum. Tympole is my least favourite of the three, but that's not particularly damning. Apparently Tympole is either a meme in Japan, or its face is based on a meme? I'm not too clear and the internet seems to go both ways.
Tympole evolves into the hilariously weird Palpitoad, which I think I would like a lot better if its face isn't flesh-coloured. Still, as a waddling gloop of cheekiness with a lot of warts, Palpitoad looks appropriately disgusting and gross while still retaining a sense of pleasing aesthetic about it. It's not the best tadpole/frog pokemon out there, but it's too hilarious! Palpitoad sadly drops a lot of the musical aesthetics of its pre-evolution, but I always loved how it gains the Ground typing, and the justification for that is simply because its vibrating warts are now powerful enough to emit shockwaves through the ground instead of just water. Yeah okay. Palpitoad and Seismitoad's multi-function warts are apparently based in part on the Surinam toad (do not click that link if you're trypophobic) where they have specialized wart-like pockets throughout their body where they hold their young, which mature within those pockets and then pop out of them as fully-grown toads. Palpitoad and Seismitoad only borrows the 'wart' bits, but Nintendo really likes the Surinam toads, having used them in Zelda games.
Anyway, Palpitoad is fine. It was pretty off-putting the first time I looked at it, but it's honestly the same thing as Poliwag, just with a different body shape and playing up a different gross part of a tadpole. A Palpitoad is also apparently featured heavily in the anime as one of Ash's pokemon, but I must confess that I didn't watch a lot of the Unova seasons to really confirm.
Seismitoad is... a big fat derpy frog with these huge warts lining its body. I do love how creepy he looks with those droopy red eyes and that grin. I've always found Seismitoad far more pleasing due to ditching the weird flesh-coloured faces of its two pre-evolutions, and its huge lumpy bulk actually contrasts very well with previous frogs like Politoed and Toxicroak. I understand that many people don't like this fat frog due to it being "ugly", but it's ugly by design, and I can't fault it for that. Apparently they weaponize the warts on their fists as portable shockwave generators, which just gives such a cool mental image of a Seismitoad's fist impacting, and then unleashing a shockwave through the opponent's body. Their head bumps apparently shoot "paralyzing fluid", which plays on the toads-can-cause-disease trope. It's not Seismitoad's entire thing, though -- it's Toxicroak that's the poison arrow frog -- but it's noted in one of Seismitoad's ability, Poison Touch. Honestly, I actually like the lumpy lumbering frog. It's perhaps not everyone's taste, but I for one like this fat bastard!
4/6.#538-539: Throh & Sawk
- Types: Fighting [both]
- Japanese names: Nageki, Dageki
- Categories: Judo [Throh], Karate [Sawk]
Oh, these two are the Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan of the region. Yeah, I don't care for these two either. The thing that makes the Hitmons so memorable is that the two of them actually look relatively different visually, and the kicking/punching dynamic are very well-realized on the visual and attack designs on Lee and Chan. Throh is ostensibly based on a judo practitioner, throwing their foes. Sawk is based on a karate practitioner, karate-chopping the enemy. They're both pure Fighting-types and... and they're basically just funnily-coloured humanoids in fighting gi. With other pokemon that have clothing, like Alakazam, Hitmonchan and Gardevoir, you can actually tell that those are just body parts that resemble clothes. With these two? They're pretty clearly stated to be clothes, I think, and that's just weird.
Their design are also minimal-effort, randomly cluttered with so many criss-crossing lines not just on the clothes, but also on their faces. There's also the very weird black nose-horn things... Sawk's weirdly only extends into one eyebrow. I'm definitely not a big fan of these. They look even worse than the Timburr line, which at least have something going on for them. They're boring, uninspired and honestly, while I will defend a good chunk of Generation five's expies, Throh and Sawk can screw off. I really do hate these two, but I just don't have the energy to go on another rant like I did with the monkeys. Like, there's literally no real effort to make them look really pleasing or distinctive. Hariyama, as messy as he was, at least really exaggerated the sumo fashion and the motion of slapping your opponent to push them backwards. These are just humanoids in a vaguely judo and karate position without any real effort thrown into having them actually embody the martial arts. The concept's lazy but not bad, but the execution is so minimal-effort that this pair is going to get another of my zero-ratings.
0/6.#540-542: Sewaddle, Swadloon & Leavanny
- Types: Bug/Grass [all three]
- Japanese names: Kurumiru, Kurumayu, Hahakomori
- Categories: Sewing [Sewaddle], Leaf-Wrapped [Swadloon], Nurturing [Leavanny]
Yeah, after all those minimal-effort Fighting-type unpleasantness, we get to talk about bugs! Yay! I can't believe it took us this long to reach the regional caterpillar-pupa-butterfly combo, but here we are with Sewaddle, who is gloriously cute. Everyone talks about how Scatterbug is the cutest bug baby, but clearly that honour goes to Sewaddle. This Grass/Bug pokemon is based on caterpillars that use leaves to build shelter over themselves, but here little baby Sewaddle has a little half-eaten leaf as some sort of cute little baby hoodie. Hell, the anime and the 3D games even shows that Sewaddle is completely able to cover its cute little face with the hood. My only real problem is that Sewaddle has a random butt on the top of his face. It's not as bad as Magmar's, but a lot more distracting. Still, between the very pleasant green-purple-orange combo, and the cute but still buggy set of chomper mouths, and Sewaddle is just adorable. Far more adorable when you realize that Sewaddle's final form, Leavanny, actually dresses up Sewaddle in these little leafy clothes like a baby bib when they are born, where they double as adorable clothes and apparently emergency food supply. And when it gets older, it makes its own clothes with leaves. Good job, you adorable little caterpillar. Where all the Weedles and Wurmples and Caterpies are just chomping away, you build a clothing line. You go, Sewaddle!
I'm not as enamoured with Swadloon as I am Sewaddle and Leavanny. It's apparently based on the cocoon stage of the Epargyreus clarus, the silver-spotted skipper, whose caterpillar stage apparently fold leaves over themselves with silk to protect themselves during the chrysalis stage. Swadloon doesn't really resemble much of a pupa, though, apparently being based more on the "hikikomori" syndrome that's apparently common in Japanese popular culture, the Japanese equivalent of the Western portrayal of nerds as something similar to Comic Book Guy from Simpsons. Swadloon is a disinterested adolescent who wraps himself in blanket, watching anime and playing video games in a darkly-lit room all day long, and is just so grumpy. The actual dex entries mention nothing about being a loner or a social shut-in, though, instead just talking about how Swadloon is apparently a mobile pupa, waddling around and eating fallen leaves, nourishing plantlife where it goes.
And then Swadloon evolves not into a butterfly or a moth as its caterpillar stage might imply, but into Leavanny, a skinny humanoid leaf insect (Phylliidae) with blades for arms. You evolve a Swadloon through a friendship evolution, helping it to break through its social anxiety disorder and have her evolve into the graceful, maternal Leavanny. There's definitely a combination of graceful and creepy in Leavanny's design. On one hand, she's humanoid, very thin, and spends most of her time weaving clothing for babies -- not just Sewaddles, but any small baby pokemon. But on the other hand, those glorious beady red eyes, that Stepford smile and those blade-like arms makes her look somewhat sinister as well, and I love that.
I've never thought that an anthropomorphized bug would really work, but Leavanny retains just enough of her bug features to still look pretty cool. I kinda imagine that it would be pretty unsettling to be taken care of by Leavanny, honestly, and that mental image is pretty neat. Definitely a bit of a shame that, just like Parasect, Leavanny's actually pretty atrocious in-game due to her typing, but eh, she's a clothes designer. Clearly her appearance is the thing that matters the most here. Which the game agrees, giving a Leavanny to the bug gym leader, Burgh, whose day job is a painter.
Oh, and I'm somewhat obligated to mention that Leavanny is one of Ash's main pokemon in the Unova seasons of the anime -- something that I haven't had the opportunity to watch -- but I would've loved her regardless of whether that's the case.
I've never thought that an anthropomorphized bug would really work, but Leavanny retains just enough of her bug features to still look pretty cool. I kinda imagine that it would be pretty unsettling to be taken care of by Leavanny, honestly, and that mental image is pretty neat. Definitely a bit of a shame that, just like Parasect, Leavanny's actually pretty atrocious in-game due to her typing, but eh, she's a clothes designer. Clearly her appearance is the thing that matters the most here. Which the game agrees, giving a Leavanny to the bug gym leader, Burgh, whose day job is a painter.
Oh, and I'm somewhat obligated to mention that Leavanny is one of Ash's main pokemon in the Unova seasons of the anime -- something that I haven't had the opportunity to watch -- but I would've loved her regardless of whether that's the case.
5/6.#543-545: Venipede, Whirlepede & Scolipede
- Types: Bug/Poison [all three]
- Japanese names: Fushide, Hoiga, Pendora
- Categories: Centipede [Venipede], Curlipede [Whirlepede], Megapede [Scolipede]
I am actually surprised it took us this long to actually reach a proper centipede and/or millipede pokemon! Five hundred and forty-three? Jeez. Anyway, I really love the fifth generation for giving us so many goddamn badass bug-types, and two of them are even found relatively early on! Leavanny is awesome and all, but it was Scolipede that really stole my heart. During my first relatively blind playthrough of Pokemon: White, where I skimmed through the list of new pokemon and somehow missed these guys, I was very excited to meet a Venipede. Oh, cool, a venom centipede! Or, well, more likely, Venipede's a pill millipede, a myriapod with a very close resemblance to the more common woodlouse (itself an animal that is more closely related to other crustaceans like crabs and lobsters than to myriapods like centipedes and millipedes). However, unlike either a woodlouse or a millipede, Venipede has two very prominent stabby antennae both on its front and rear end, which is one of the most iconic features of a centipede. And a centipede is definitely a very appropriate figure for the "scary bug" of the region, something that the fourth generation kind of skipped.
So to those that need a refresher in biology class -- myriapods are mostly divided into two types. The first, centipedes, have longer legs that splay out to the side, have larger body segments and have two prominent antennae on both ends of their body. Most prominently, they have two fang-like front legs that deliver a painful venom. Trust someone who's been bitten by one -- it hurts. Centipedes are also carnivores. Millipedes, on the other hand, have two legs per segment that point downwards and it just shuffles along, doddering like little worms and ruining your garden as they chomp through the grass.
Now Venipede is a glorious combination of both major aspects of the myriapod subphylum, going from a millipede with centipede features into a giant centaur monster of a centipede. Venipede's centipede side is clearly what the pokemon is designed in mind despite the happy hump-backed worm shape, because it's Bug/Poison and it is "brutally aggressive", even stinging and paralyzing the birds that try to prey on it. Yeah, fuck off Unfezant! I'm not the biggest fan of the random chunk of green between the large shoulder hump and the butt, but that's honestly a minor complaint. Venipede's neat.
It all takes a very interesting turn when Venipede evolves into a Whirlipede, though. The act of curling up is something that centipedes never do, being fierce predators... but many, many millipedes do roll up for protection, and Whirlipede really takes on the pill millipede inspiration and turned it into a semi-pupa form for a group of arthropods that don't actually undergo metamorphosis. It's hilarious!
Most of all, Whirlipede actually looks insanely weird and cool, with the two sharp antennae presumably being the remnants of the centipede's front and rear feelers. Sadly, while Whirlepede looks like it's a whirling bladed tire that could spin around like a psychotic buzzsaw, its model in the 3D games unfortunately makes poor Whirlipede look so lumpy and unwieldy. Still, the dex entry describes that Whirlipede is a spinning ball of hard chitin and spikes. Nay, poisonous spikes! That's an idea that's insanely awesome and metal... but then it evolves into the mighty Megapede (pokedex's words, not mine) SCOLIPEDE.
And Scolipede's permanently stuck in a weird centaur-shaped position, but it's still unmistakably a centipede, with two prominent prongs on its head and tail. I'm definitely a bit sad that the legs are little nubs instead of the sharp, pointy legs that scuttle around, but I'm all for actually stylizing up an animal to stop me from going "oh, it's just a cartoon animal". This beast is a centipede, sure, but it's a centipede monster. Scolipede's name both in English and Japanese (Pendra) all reference a specific genus of centipedes... Scolopendra, the largest genus of centipedes in the world, with the largest among them, Scolopendra gigantea, reaching lengths of 30 centimeters and not just overpowering large bugs, but also small vertebrates. It's a centipede that eats frogs, birds, mice and bats. And those of this genus do like to rear up parts of its front body to attack prey. I myself has had the fortune (or misfortune, some would say) to meet one of the beasts, Scolopendra subspinies, the Chinese Red-Headed centipede, one of the several giant, poisonous (non-fatally) centipedes known as "mukade" in Japan, which those of you that read Tokyo Ghoul will probably recognize very well.
Scolipede, of course, is a very pleasant design, once more taking many aspects of the fat, chunky millipedes and I'm a big fan of how they imported Venipede's droopy eyes onto this giant centaur-centipede. While I feel that it's a bit of a loss that Scolipede doesn't get fangs, that beak is pretty cool-looking too, and I can definitely remember the excitement when my Whirlipede transforms into this insane-looking creature. Yeah, I like this thing quite a fair bit.
6/6.#546-547: Cottonee & Whimsicott
- Types: Grass/Fairy [both; Grass prior to Generation VI]
- Japanese names: Monmen, Erufun
- Categories: Cotton Puff [Cottonee], Windveiled [Whimsicott]
These two were originally pure Grass-type, and people complained why Whimsicott was not Grass/Flying like its fellow puffy, floaty grass-type buddy Jumpluff. But since the fifth and sixth generations apparently were designed concurrently, they might already have in mind the fact that these two are going to be Grass/Fairy, which is what they were adapted into very quickly in the next generation. Cottonee is not a dandelion spore like Jumpluff, though, but rather a cotton puff, and it's pretty adorable. It's just a slightly broken cotton pod with the most inquisitive eyes and two little leaf-wings, ending up in a shape that resembles a sheep's head. Hilariously, Cottonee apparently possesses the ability to escape by shooting cotton from its body to distract an attacker, kind of like an octopus, which is hilarious. They apparently stick together in large groups, looking like a gigantic cloud since they flit about in the sky. Cottonee is exclusive to Black, forming a counterpart with Petilil below -- both were caught in the same areas, the other one is available via an in-game NPC trade, and they both evolve via the Sun Stone.
And Cottonee will evolve into Whimsicott, which I've never quite realized was straight-up based on a sheep standing on two feet -- I actually thought that this thing was some kind of happy forest sprite like Celebi, and always thought that they were adorable thanks to their gigantic head-fluff cloud of cotton. Whether the association between lamb and cotton because "hey, they're both white and fluffy" or a deliberate reference to the Vegetable Lamb, a mythological creature that was apparently how those who have never seen a cotton plant interpreted stories of a woolly substance growing on trees being a magical tree that grew sheep as fruit. It's a tenuous connection and not one I really got until looking up "cotton and lamb connection" in google. For the most part I just enjoyed Whimsicott as a cute-looking happy little grass-type. Most of the grass-type pokemon I like tend to be on the creepy or cool side, but Whimsicott's design just drew me in. It's also my longest-running buddy during a Nuzlocke challenge, and is perhaps the biggest result of the "you will learn to love and appreciate pokemon you've never given two shits about before" deal that is often the effect of attempting Nuzlocke challenges . Its newfound status as a happy forest fairy is also very much welcome.
Whimsicott, if you choose to actually use him in a competitive setting, is actually viable for having access to the Prankster ability -- which otherwise translates to "being a jackass", allowing Whimsicott to launch obnoxious status effects on the enemy first in a turn regardless of speed. . It's an ability commonly found by the pragmatic and assholish Dark-types and the mischievous and capricious Fairy-types, making extra sense that Whimsicott would have it. Whimsicott's not only unique and cute, he's also useful in battle! He's not a pokemon that I instantly fell in love with the moment I saw him like Scolipede, but he's definitely became one of my favourites.
5/6.#548-549: Petilil and Liligant
- Types: Grass [both]
- Japanese names: Churine, Doredia
- Categories: Bulb [Petilil], Flowering [Liligant]
Meanwhile, Cottonee's cross-version counterpart Petilil is... a tulip bulb. She (the entire species is always female) is just a head with grass growing out of it and a little disembodied blob body. Her leaves heal people, which is neat but all of her dex entries just focus on how her leaves heal people, and don't tell us anything about Petilil. It doesn't have the design elements or wacky biology that made Cottonee interesting. It's pleasant enough, for sure, and definitely cute, but... but there's nothing really much going on for her.
Likewise, when Petilil evolves into Liligant, she's just...a plant-woman in a dress. She's nicely drawn, for sure, with a neat little flower-hairpin deal going on and I do kinda like her alien four-pointed feet, but there is literally nothing interesting about Liligant. "Her flower is hard to bloom." "Her fragrance is popular." "It needs constant care, and is most beautiful if allowed to bloom in the wild." Unless if Liligant's supposed to be a commentary about how flowers have nothing interesting to them other than their appearance, I genuinely can't find anything interesting about Liligant. Comparing her to other humanoid plant pokemon like Roselia, Tsareena, Sunflora or Bellossom, she just doesn't really add anything new to the table, or play on some sort of theme. She's just a flower girl, and doesn't even do anything new or adapt any strange plant, or have some sort of weird gimmick. She's nicely drawn, but she's really just something that I'll probably gloss over as a bit of a "oh yeah, these guys exist" after the series of highs that are Whimsicott, Scolipede and Leavanny. Oh well, can't all be winners.
2/6.#550: Basculin
- Types: Water
- Japanese names: Basurao
- Categories: Hostile
Oh yeah, these two. As you can probably tell throughout my previous generations' reviews, I'm as big of a geek on aquatic life as I am on bugs, but Basculin is... is just an angry fish. It's a pure-Water type that doesn't even really bother evolving, but the designers added two "form differences", with one being red-striped and the other being blue-striped, making the two sort of version exclusives of sort. And there's... there's nothing about Basculin at all. It's a bass, but barely looks like it, ending up looking more like an angry piranha, sort of like Carvanha but fifteen times more generic looking. I'm not saying every fish pokemon needs to have a special gimmick like Magikarp and Feebas's super-awesome magical serpentine final form. I am the sort of guy that appreciates the Finneons and Goldeens of the world, but Basculin reeks of lack of effort on Nintendo's part, and it's actually confirmed by Sugimori that Basculin was a last-minute design when they realized they had too little new fish and all their other water pokemon are ghost jellyfishes, muddy frogs or meant to be rare encounters. So they scrambled to shove Basculin into the game to just fill in the quota, calling it a bass because it's a fish commonly found in New York. Of course, fishing doesn't really figure into the main story of Unova, and by the time you get the Super Rod you can already meet pokemon from the first four generations, so honestly, why bother if you're not going to put effort into it? The story of their meta origin is far more interesting than the Basculins themselves, and while they're not a pair that I absolutely hate like Throh, Sawk or the monkeys, they are definitely one of the low points that bloat out the pokedex. It's not until the later generations that they even try to do anything interesting with these fishes.
1/6.#551-553: Sandile, Krokorok & Krookodile
- Types: Ground/Dark [all three]
- Japanese names: Meguroko, Warubiru, Warubiaru
- Categories: Desert Croc [Sandile/Krokorok], Intimidation [Krookodile]
Of course, where the fifth generation have some definitive lows, by and by the hit-and-miss ratio is definitely acceptable when it brings us this gloriously happy bandit crocodile. I'm not sure what is it that makes Gamefreak really like to adapt aquatic animals, turn them Ground-types and toss them into the desert where they swim around in the sand... but Sandile joins Garchomp and Hippowdon in doing so. Sandile is a very pleasant baby crocodile, this time four-legged to contrast Totodile's entire line of being bipedal crocs. Sandile moves through the desert sand like a crocodile moves through water, with only its nose and adorable buggy eyes peeking out of the sand's surface. The Unova region, despite supposedly being based off of New York City, actually has a desert area with a bunch of collapsed ruins, and Sandile's line seems like they're meant to play the part of tomb robbers in the area. They're Ground/Dark type, the only pokemon so far to have those two types in tandem. And Sandile's huge bandit-mask eyes and the black lines that cross across his body is apparently meant to resemble the traditional cartoon inmate or bandit.
Sandile then grows up and stands on two feet, and god dang, what a sassy-looking crocodile man he is! He looks so smug with his natural sunglasses and his crossed arms, wandering out at night (because it's cool, apparently) in gangs to search for food. The Japanese name of Krokorok seems to reference the gharial, an Indian crocodile also known as the gavial that has a notable growth on its snout. The wiki gives multiple other crocodiles like the slender-snouted crocodile or spectacled caiman or the crocodile-like dinosaur Baronyx as inspirations, but eh. Krookodile below does have a distinctive snout based on a gharial, but everything else just seems arbitrary to me.
Of course, while Krokorok is just an older Sandile, it evolves into the hilariously awesome Krookodile. The puns! The puns are killing me! Krookodile changes a bit more drastically, dropping the brown for a pleasant shade of maroon, adopting the gharial snout and having the 'sunglasses' area around his eyes point upwards into insanely cool-looking spiky sunglasses. Triangular sunglasses are often a short-hand for being asshole bandits, and Krookodile are apparently the bosses of the gang. Sadly, unlike Honchkrow, the dex really doesn't give us much to go on for Krookodile's personality, just noting that it's got badass jaws and it's very violent. Still, it's definitely based on some sort of a boss bandit and I do like it. It's not a line that tries to do much -- it picks a weird pair of concepts and ran with it, but it ends up in a pretty satisfying package of jerkass-looking crocodiles, I feel. Never going to be my favourites because there are so many more other pokemon I like, but definitely a highly likable trio of bandit gators with personality. No wonder the anime staff decided to pick them for anime appearances.
4/6._____________________________________
With that, I bid you readers adieu for the week, because the next batch of pokemon are all going to be the desert boys, and I have... quite a fair bit to talk about some of those.
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