Gotta Review 'Em All, Part #23: Ducklett to Chandelure

Oh boy, I'm genuinely excited to talk about so many of these! Without further ado, let's put the pedal to the metal on the insanity that is this stretch of the fifth generation! This one runs slightly longer than usual because I ended up having a fair bit of free time, and I kinda want to get these out of the way so the next part can cleanly wrap up every single non-legendary fifth-gen pokemon.

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#580-581: Ducklett & Swanna

• Types: Water/Flying [both]
• Japanese names: Koaruhi, Suwanna
• Categories: Water Bird [Ducklett], White Bird [Swanna]

So yeah, one of the not-so-creative efforts in the fifth generation are Ducklett and Swanna. They fill in a similar role as Drilbur does, as the 'ambush' pokemon that you see as moving shadows of birds in the overworld that will swoop down and chase you as you walk around. Ducklett's a very straightforward Water/Flying duck, being a duck that can actually fly, unlike the first generation's Golduck. The two also work in a bit of an 'ugly duckling' story, but Ducklett is honestly not ugly at all. She's cute! Sadly, there's absolutely nothing interesting about Ducklett and her dex entries doesn't give us anything that real-life ducks don't already do. There's nothing wrong with adapting just an animal, because Ducklett at least looks somewhat cute. I don't mind Ducklett at all. It's hardly the most memorable thing out there, but it's a neat world-building addition for sure. Besides, considering the amount of excitement that I get over "oh my god, they added a centipede Pokemon!" or "oh my god, they finally made a flounder!", I'm sure someone out there is happy thanks to the addition of a more faithful flying duck.

 2/6.

Ducklett then evolves into Swanna, a beautiful swan. And... and it's not a design that particularly works for me. It's especially bad thanks to her official art here and her fifth-generation sprites, that have her fold her arms like some sort of nagging mom, with a very blank expression on her face and her weird feather-boobs (Swanna is 50% male, too) being on prominent display. It's not so bad with her sixth-generation sprites that show her properly soaring, and in the anime she looks as majestic as a real-life swan... but at the same time, there's nothing to really differentiate her from a real-life swan other than the weird tumours on the side of her heads and her questionable fashion choices. They apparently do dancing contests to decide whoever is the leader of the flock? Honestly it's not that bad, just really boring, but the weird bra really throws me off. 

 1/6.

#582-584: Vanillite, Vanillish & Vanilluxe

• Types: Ice [all three]
• Japanese names: Baniputchi, Baniritchi, Baibanira
• Categories: Fresh Snow [Vanillite], Icy Snow [Vanillish], Snowstorm [Vanilluxe]

Here we are, the ice-cream pokemon! I think the ice-cream dudes rank right up there next to Garbodor as examples of how "ohmygod Pokemon is running out of ideas"... but I actually like them the first time I saw it! Well, Vanillite, at least. It took some time for me to get used to Vanillish and Vanilluxe due to their... uncomfortably orgasmic faces. But cute little Vanillite is adorable! He's a cute baby soft-serve ice cream with the most happy face and adorable little stubby hands. These pure Ice-types are apparently formed from "an icicle bathed in the energy of the morning sun, but refused to melt".

Apparently, in the pokemon world, it is the existence of the Vanillite line that inspired the creation of ice creams (or Casteliacones, rather). It's a happy little creature made out of ice and snow that just resembles an ice cream. And apparently, that tuft of soft-serve on top of the entire line's heads are just snow that built up, and in the manga it's consistently shown as melting or drooping off once a Vanillite or Vanillish is defeated. I like Vanillite! He might perhaps deserve a somewhat more creative or derivative evolution, but I don't dislike them.

Vanillish's biggest problem is honestly simply that it doesn't really change a lot. It just exchanges the cup for a cone, moves the arms up to the ice cream portion, and has a weirdly goofy face. Apparently Vanillish is a creature that has survived since the ice age, making it as old as Mamoswines, which I thought is a hilarious little note. I'm not super-fond on Vanillish because I don't think it's as cute, but it's okay.

Vanilluxe does a variant of the "stick a couple of the earlier stage together" style of evolution so  prevalent in the first generation, although I do like that at least the two ice cream scoops share a single cone. And while the Vanilluxe head on the left still looks high as fuck, the one on the right looks just so fucking happy and pleased that he has a little straw that shoots out icy mist. Like Duosion, Vanilluxe's two heads think independently and if they're in agreement the blizzards they create are super-powerful. Ultra Moon gave us a hilarious origin for Vanilluxe, where they're formed in nature when two Vanillish, half-melted by the sun, stick to each other and then freeze back together. Vanilluxe isn't the best design out there, honestly, but it's inoffensive to me. 

Overall, though, I feel like perhaps making the line a three-part evolution that doesn't change a whole ton ends up being a wee bit too much. Or maybe we could've had some variation... couldn't Vanilluxe or Vanillish get like syrups or a cherry? Still, while not my favourites, I think the ice creams are ridiculously silly and hilarious, and that's not a negative connotation in my head. Clearly far more memorable than the two "just a duck" up above. I've grown to really appreciate these guys a lot more over the years. 

 3/6.

#585-586: Deerling & Sawsbuck

• Types: Normal/Grass [both]
• Japanese names: Shikijika, Mebukijika
• Categories: Season [both]

Huh. I completely forgot these exist. The fifth generation tried its hand on having 'seasons' that rotate every few days depending on your DS's internal clock. This mostly just ends up determining whether a certain area is frozen over or not, allowing you to access items or lakes, but just like Chatot in the fourth generation, they decided to create a whole new pokemon to spotlight it, creating the Normal/Grass deer pokemon Deerling and Sawsbuck, who will change their visual appearance based on the weather. Which ends up becoming kind of silly when the next generation drops weather mechanics entirely, leading all the Deerling and Sawsbuck that aren't imported from the Poke-Bank to be stuck in permanent spring. Honestly, this ends up feeling like another Burmy situation. A neat concept that doesn't really have a proper follow through. Deerling's pleasant-looking enough, although it's just a generic baby deer with a yellow flower on its head. Deerling's changes are just colours -- pink in the spring, green in the summer, orange in the autumn and brown in the winter. 

This is also the first Normal/Grass creature, which implies that Deerling is merely part-plant, unlike other grass-type animals like Gogoat or Chikorita. So I guess the bottom half of the deer that doesn't change colours are pure-Normal? Is that how Deerling's biology works? Deerling's pretty bland other than that one gimmick. People apparently use it to mark the seasons... but I think you can do it by, y'know, looking at actual trees. 

Sawsbuck is a prettier-looking deer than Stantler, at least, and both male and female versions actually do have antlers for this species. Sawsbuck ultimately ends up being pretty boring outside of its gimmick, although I've never quite appreciated how neat the autumn and spring forms look. Spring Sawsbuck has little cherry blossoms on its horns. Summer Sawsbuck is a boring generic tree, but Autumn Sawsbuck has appropriately majestic flowing bunches of red leaves. Winter Sawsbuck ends up being somewhat boring, honestly, with just snow catching onto its chest and legs. Really? They didn't go with the obvious Rudolph or Santa references? 

My big problem with Deerling and Sawsbuck is honestly how short the horns are. Outside of the autumn one, they don't look particularly majestic. Also, they really could've done a lot more with the concept, surely? Type-changing is perhaps somewhat overdone with Rotom and Burmy already doing it, but maybe it's the abilities that change? A special move that changes type between seasons? Overall, they feel more like a missed opportunity than anything, just a bunch of alternate forms that are there for the sake of being there. The subsequent generations really don't know what to do with the alternate forms either, which hurts this line's stock in my books. 

 3/6.

#587: Emolga

• Types: Electric/Flying
• Japanese name: Emonga
• Category: Sky Squirrel

Ah, the fifth-generation Pikachu clone. Emolga's actually probably my favourite of all the Pikachu clones, although that's not a difficult bar to clear. Emolga's based on a flying squirrel (specifically, the Japanese dwarf flying squirrel whose Latin name inspired Emolgas name), and actually does something different with the concept of being a Pikachu clone, having the Electric/Flying typing. Emolga is reasonably cute with its neat little ears, and in the anime it has the hilarious cry of a drawn-out, high-pitched "EMO" which I find hilarious. These little shits also hilariously managed to give me a hard time in Elesa's gym because they're completely immune to Ground-type moves. I don't really have that much to say about Emolga. It's pleasant, far moreso than Minccino, I think, the other candidate as a Pikachu clone.

 3/6.

#588-589: Karrablast & Escavalier

• Types: Bug [Karrablast], Bug/Steel [Escavalier]
• Japanese names: Kaburumo, Shubarugo
• Categories: Clamping [Karrablast], Cavalry [Escavalier]

Huh, this one is weird. Karrablast and Escavalier are very, very closely tied to another line of Bug-types, Shelmet and Accelgor, which we won't see until way, way down in the pokedex, which we'll actually cover in the next part. And it's honestly a pretty neat gimmick that I end up really loving. Karrablast is based on the Carabidae family of ground beetles, specifically on Carabus blaptoides, the Snail-Eater Beetle. Karrablast's design is highly stylized for such a spindly beetle, and honestly isn't a design I particularly like. From the weird cartoon-devil-like mouth to the stubby arms, Karrablast looks more like an imp wearing a hoodie with a horn on its head more than an actual bug pokemon. Karrablast is a species that targets Shelmet, just like real-life Carabid beetles, but while preying on them apparently some sort of electrical stimulation (or trading, in captivity) causes the two to evolve. Or rather -- Karrablast gains the metal shell of Shelmet, evolving into Escavalier below, while Shelmet loses the shell and becomes a speedy ninja. It's such an insane idea that plays into version exclusives very well, because, of course, Shelmet and Karrablast are both version-exclusives. 

I'm not a big fan of Karrablast's design, but when it evolves into Escavalier? Karrablast evolves from a pure-Bug type into a Bug/Steel beetle kngiht, where apparently the shell it steals from Shelmet ends up evolving into an elaborate crescent knight's helmet, a pair of jousting lances that end up as Escavalier's arms, and a weird little snail-like bottom half that makes me assume that Escavalier floats around like first-form Frieza from Dragon Ball. It's an ingenious bit of design where they combine the concept of predator/prey with the transformation into two themed warriors, with Escavalier themed on a medieval jouster and Accelgor themed on a ninja.

And while the Carabid beetle doesn't actually steal the shells of its prey, that kind of behaviour is done by a different kind of snail-eating predatory beetle, Drilus flavescens, whose larva forms kills a snail and uses its shell to protect it while it pupates. It's neat! Very gimmicky, and I feel like I don't like it quite as much now after some time, but it's certainly a pretty neat addition to the dex. 

 4/6, mostly for Escavalier. 

#590-591: Foongus & Amoongus

• Types: Grass/Poison [both]
• Japanese names: Tamagetake, Morobareru
• Categories: Mushroom [both]

Since the fifth generation can't use Voltorbs to take the 'Mimic' niche of Unova, that role ends up given to these guys. Whereas Voltorbs and Electrodes are only found inside man-made buildings and complexes, Foongus and Amoongus are found in the wild, and they're Grass/Poison toadstools whose mushroom cap resembles a pokeball. I cannot believe that Foongus is our very first fungal pokemon with the poison type attached to it, by the way. Foongus  is cute enough, with a weird little pink beak-mouth-thing with a little black dot. Its cute tiny arms and big black eyes are neat, although the dex entries just kind of shrug over the fact that it resembles a poke-ball. 

And then it evolves into Amoonguss and it's such an unpleasant looking design! I mean, I guess a huge fat fungal dude is sort of appropriate, but I just cannot get into the design of Amoonguss. It has a very weird English name, for one, and I'm not a big fan of its weird shield-like arms with pokeball designs. Thankfully the dex entries note that 'very few pokemon are fooled' by Amoonguss, presumably because it's a big, fat half-meter tall fatty. I mean, I guess it's neat that since we don't quite have a straight-up toadstool pokemon yet (Parasect plays up the parasitic fungus bit, and Breloom is a kung-fu fighting dinosaur mushroom) but Amoonguss seems to be really trying too hard. Plus that face just really makes me just inherently dislike him. That probably sounds shallow, but Amoonguss is a creature that I just don't particularly like for how it looks. The concept is all right, though, and Foongus is neat. The Pokemon world is large enough for multiple 'mimic' Pokemon!

 2/6.

#592-593: Frillish & Jellicent

• Types: Water/Ghost [both]
• Japanese names: Pururiru, Burungeru
• Categories: Floating [both]

Fifth-generation haters call these two as the Tentacool and Tentacruel ripoffs. And, yes, they may be both based on jellyfishes, but it's as silly as calling Lycanroc "a Snubbull ripoff" just becuse they're both canines. Whereas Tentacool has an evident alien aesthetic and plays up the box jellyfish's poisonous stings, Frillish and Jellicent are based on the haunting beauty of jellifishes, like the moon jellyfish (Aurelia aurita) or the lion's mane jellyfish (Cyanea capillata). Literally haunting, because this evolutionary line are our very first Water/Ghost combo, and what an appropriate creature to turn into water ghosts! And for bonus creativity, they're also dressed in regal Victorian-era clothes, particularly notable when they become Jellicents. Also, Frillish and Jellicent both display some of the more blatant sexual dimorphism, although this doesn't affect their battle abilities in any way, it's a very well-done visual bit by the art team. 

There does exist a Japanese monster called "kurage no hinotama", the jellyfish will-o-wisp, though I can't really pull up any sort of concrete myths around them. Which is just as well, because Frillish and Jellicent, despite their adorable looks, actually function as the Krakens of the pokemon world. Instead of a giant squid or octopus, apparently the ships that get lost in the Pokemon world ends up mistakenly sailing into Frillish-populated waters, where, according to the pokedex, they will paralyze their prey with poison, and then "drag them down to their lairs in the ocean floor", with some dex entries emphasizing that those captured by Frillish as prey have drowned and "never to return".

And then it evolves into Jellicent, whose heads look gigantic and end up looking kinglier or queenlier depending on their gender. Queen Jellicent has a weird little frill-cloud thoung around its neck, with a rather ridiculous-looking set of eyelashes and a heart-shaped mouth, but that is blown away by the simple ridiculousness and epicness of the King Jellicent and his massive Pringles mustache. Look at that mustache! LOOK AT IT.

The Jellicents, despite their goofy appearance, feeds on life energy. And as the Black pokedex hauntingly tells us: "the fate of the ships and crew that wander into Jellicent's habitat - all sunken, all lost, all vanished." I've complained about the dex entries for the fifth generation, but god damn the ghosts get some of the best descriptions ever in a pokedex. There are apparently entire castles in the seafloor made up of the ships that Jellicents have sunk, and that in the modern day, they hang out fancy cruise ships and tankers, "hoping to drag away its prey". What the hell! There's just an extra layer of horror that these things aren't even blatantly horrifying monsters with a scary visage like Cofagrigus or Banette. They have, respectively, a kissy face and a gigantic Toppo-esque mustache. And they're some of the most hilarious yet horrifying pokemon in existence. God, I love these. I mean, a bunch of frilly jellyfishes already get my vote, but they're ghosts, ship-sinking monsters and they look like goofy royalty? Amazing. 

 6/6. 

#594: Alomomola

• Type: Water
• Japanese name: Mamanbo
• Category: Caring

I don't think I'm the only one that thinks Alomomola is Luvdisc's evolution when I first saw it, yeah? Same shade of pink, same general body shape, but more well-defined fins and eyes. Sure, as an ocean-life aficionado, I instantly recognized Alomomola's real life inspiration -- the ocean sunfish, otherwise known by its scientific name, Mola mola. The sunfish is a gigantic bony fish that's well known for its... unusual structure of just looking like a more generic looking fish's head with a tail, with a laterally-flattened body, which they sometimes just splay horizontally to bask in the sun. They actually prey on jellyfishes almost exclusively in the wild, although Alomomola doesn't actually have any sort of interactions with Frillish and Jellicent. 

And Alomomola is... is just there. She's a rare encounter if you surf in rippling water, acting as the Audino of the ocean. Hell, apparently Alomomola's body is covered by a goopy membrane with healing properties, and that they are the sort of helpful fellows that rescue drowning pokemon and humans and nurse them to health. Alomomola's a bit underwhelming, though, at the end of the day. Her face's a bit too generically friendly to match the real life mola mola's dead fishy eyes, and her role as a healer in the ocean is okay but not too interesting. Not a bad concept, just sort of overshadowed by everything else. 

 2/6.

#595-596: Joltik & Galvantula

• Types: Bug/Electric
• Japanese names: Bachuru, Denchura
• Categories: Attaching [Joltik], Ele-Spider [Galvantula]

Joltik is our very first Bug/Electric pokemon, and the first reaction I thought when I see this cute little bugger is "AAAAA!" That's a aw-gosh-that's-cute AAAAA, not a eek-a-spider-AAAAA. I used to be extremely arachnophobic as a kid, although I've since worked my way through it. But Joltik? I don't think anyone can be afraid of Joltik. Look at this cute little puff ball with his cute little fluffy spider legs, and his two cute huge eyes and his cute little fangs and his two smaller eyes... you can just see this thing hopping around making cute little noises. How did they even do that? How did they even make a spider pokemon not only cute, but easily hands-down one of the most adorable pokemon out there? It's apparently not just me, because Joltik regularly makes top cutest pokemon lists out there and I am so happy for my little guy. Part of it, of course, is probably due to Joltik's ridiculously small size for a pokemon. A 10-centimeter bug is still a pretty big bug by human standards, but I think Joltik is the smallest pokemon in existence save except maybe Flabebe.

Of course, while probably bringing to mind a less-creepy version of all those cuter spiders that pop up if you google "cute fluffy spiders", Joltik, as his English name notes, is based behaviorally more on a tick -- nasty little disease-spreading parasites that are also part of the arachnid family. Joltik's a parasite, but unlike real-life Ixodoids Joltik's not a blood sucker. It's a parasite of electricity, either sticking to large-bodied pokemon to absorb and store static electricity, or act like pests and draw out electricity from literal electrical outlets.

I wasn't quite sure about Joltik at first, but he's adorable enough and I like fluffy ticks more than angry zebras (Zebstrika's still cool, though!) so during my first playthrough a Joltik ended up being one of the members in my main team... and then ends up hilariously proving his worth over and over again, especially when he evolves into Galvantula.


Galvantula, as his name tells you, is based on one of the world's more famous spiders, the Tarantula, a spider known for its relatively large size and its coat of hair. As someone who has gone from arachnophobe to fascinated-about-spiders, Galvantula ends up being a buddy to me! He's cute and fluffy, with a very pleasant combination of yellow, blue and that neat shade of lavender... and, yeah, he's only got four legs (and two pedipalps) but very few bugs in the pokemon world actually have the proper amount of legs anyway. Galvantula is a pretty cute looking pokemon that ends up being actually pretty awesome. My first Galvantula has the 'Compound Eyes' ability, making its low-accuracy attacks end up being near-100%, essentially. Which really just means I spam Thunder like there's no tomorrow, but I had a blast doing it. Galvantula and Joltik, in addition to inheriting Ariados's previously exclusive move of Spider Web, also gets one of his own -- Electroweb, which symbolizes Galvantula's unique electrically-charged silk. It's pretty awesome. I'm actually genuinely surprised that out of the past four generations we've only had a single spider pokemon. I guess they're just saving some of the more interesting animals for later generations, huh? In either case, Galvantula's adorable and badass at the same time, with juuuust enough spider creepiness with those jointed legs and the extra smaller eyes to remind you that, yes, this is unmistakably a spider. An adorable one. It's perhaps not a big surprise, but Galvantula is easily one of my all-time favourites from the fifth generation.

 6/6.

#597-598: Ferroseed & Ferrothorn

• Types: Grass/Steel [both]
• Japanese names: Tesshido, Nattorei
• Categories: Thorn Seed [Ferroseed], Thorn Pod [Ferrothorn]

These two are weird buggers that cohabitate Unova's Chargestone Cave alongside Joltik. Actually, the next couple of evolutionary families do, too, and I find it pretty cool that after several years of having an obligatory bat-and-rock-filled caves, they decided to mix things up and have one where it's filled with electrically-charged rocks that end up attracting Steel and Electric-types to live there. One of these is the utterly bizarre Ferroseed, our very first Grass/Steel pokemon. Grass and Steel are two types that I didn't really see intersecting, due to one being one of the most nature-aligned types out there and Steel tending to lean towards artificial armour and swords and robotics... but here we are, with Ferroseed, a weird little spiked flail that also happens to be a seed. Bulbapedia thinks Ferroseed may be based on multiple things from cockleburs to durians to horse-chestnut trees to one of those seeds that latch onto your dogs when they wander around, but other than an ambiguous spiky seed of some sort, I think Ferroseed's just meant to be generic. And it's fine.

Ferroseed's a cute little bugger that ends up just spinning in place,with those dead fish eyes that don't really care what you think about it. It's an armour-plated spiky seed, and apparently it feeds on minerals in rocks, sticking to said rocks with their spikes. In the sixth generation, Ferroseed actually drop down from cave ceiling walls, either because you startled it, or it's trying to murder you by dropping forty pounds of steel spikes on your cranium. It's relatively slow, of course, and has high amount of defensive stats...


And then it evolves into Ferrothorn, which I always thought looked weird. What is it? Some sort of flying saucer with three tentacle hair-hand things? The fifth generation didn't really do it much favour by showing it exactly like its official art, wiggling around like some sort of upside-down mutant jellyfish. Of course, it's not until the sixth generation that I saw how Ferrothorn is meant to behave. See, the official artwork depicts Ferrothorn using those tentacle-arms like little spiky sucker pads to attach itself onto the cave ceilings, while in battle, Ferrothorn's vine-arm-legs support its body by acting as leg-like structures, behaving like some sort of weird plant-steel octopus-crab thing, which is just such a cool, dynamic usage of plant anatomy that makes Ferrothorn look simultaneously weird and natural at the same time.

Honestly, Ferrothorn's biggest appeal to me is perhaps due to how utterly weird it is. It's just this weird metal UFO-durian with three whip-like vines that end with flail-like spiked objects, hanging down from cave ceilings and shooting spikes at intruders? My love for Ferrothorn only came for the sixth generation, where I bred one and made great use of this unexpected little spiky durian on Wi-Fi battles, using weird moves like Gyro Ball (bigger damage the slower you are) and Ingrain (heals over time) to just be an obnoxious wall. Add that with Ferrothorn's own innate ability, Iron Barbs, which damages anyone who strikes him, makes it a hilarious bit when someone tries to attack one of my other pokemon, only for me to switch out to this spiky metal durian. Ferrothorn's an honestly pretty cool design that doesn't quite get as much love.

 6/6.

#599-601: Klink, Klang & Klinklang

• Types: Steel [all three]
• Japanese names: Giaru, Gigiaru, Gigigiaru
• Categories: Gear [all three]

These are a trio of pure-Steel types that are probably as divisive as the trash and ice cream guys... the gears! That "just add gears" when they evolve! And honestly, I find them hilarious. Add that to their hilarious names that are just onomatopoeias, and how cool they are they they're animated -- Klinklang especially -- and I honestly don't have it in my heart to hate them. I don't like them as much as I do the likes of Magneton, but that's more because I don't really like the weird clown-faces that Klink and Klang have with one open eye and one eye that's just an X. They are very satisfying to see animated, though, be it in sprite form back in the fifth generation, or in their brand-new 3D models. Again, even moreso than Garbodor, I really wish that they had more effort put into it. The idea of a clockwork monster, or a gear monster, is pretty cool, but just two with faces stuck on it felt rather bland.

Interestingly, the Klink line learns a lot of Electric-type moves, as much as the Steel-type moves it learns, but it remains pure-Steel instead of being Electric/Steel like its supposed counterpart, the Magnemite line.


I do like the description behind Klink, though, noting that the two gears that form Klink must be those exact two, and any attempt to switch out the Klink sub-units will cause a rebound. Klink evolves into Klang, which adds a huge, larger face behind one of the gears, with a different expression... and that's :< face is so, so much more pleasant compared to the smaller Klink face that still remains. I dunno. I like my asymmetry, but Klink's weird eyes never does it for me. I do like the description that Klang apparently disassembles itself to launch its two smaller gears like boomerangs, but if those gears don't return Klang stops turning and it straight-up dies. Poor Klang.


Klink and Klang are honestly a bit lazy, to be honest, but I can't say that about Klinklang. The addition of a bevel gear with a strikingly different thin ring with spikes, makes Klinklang feel so much more expanded than the evolution from Klink to Klang. Apparently the red gear that's newly added forms like a brand-new energy tank that uses the spikes on the ring gear to channel more powerful laser beams, which is honestly pretty awesome and why I like Klinklang so much -- the new gears actually have a specific function to how Klinklang fights as opposed to just looking cool. I also definitely like the weird asymmetry we've got going on here, with how the most prominent face being one of the small Klink faces that still remain even after evolving twice. Of course, ultimately I really think that it's a design that could've been polished a little. Maybe have either Klink or Klang be the first stage, then have Klinklang be the second, and then a third one that's a clockwork robot or something? I do see the merits of designing these like this, though, to keep it just the gears as the monsters. I'm not as enamoured towards them as I tend to be with most other inanimate-object pokemon, but I can't find much to hate about them. They're neat, but not impressive.

 3/6.

#602-604: Tynamo, Eelektrik & Eelektross

• Types: Electric [all three]
• Japanese names: Shibishirasu, Shibibiru, Shibirudon
• Categories: EleFish [all three]

Maybe Klink ends up being underwhelming because everything else around it is so weird or far more interesting, because in addition to Joltik and Ferroseed... we've got Tynamo! Another one of my favourites in the fifth generation. Well, not Tynamo himself, but its final evolution. Electric eels have been one of the more egregious omissions from the pokemon roster. It would be so obvious. A Water/Electric type. Hell, the real animal's basically a pokemon in and of itself... but no. Instead we get Tynamo, this weird little sperm-like white baby fish-worm, a pure Electric-type. Oh, and it also has Levitate, meaning that this little baby fish just floats above the ground, shooting little thundershocks to anyone who fucks around in its territory... with the side effect of making the entire Tynamo line the third pokemon line to not have a weakness after the Dark/Ghost Sableye and Spiritomb. Thanks to Fairy's introduction in the sixth generation, Tynamo's line is the only line with no weaknesses. It just swims in the air, presumably defying gravity with the power of electromagnetism, and it's pretty neat. Tynamo's just there, though, because it's the two subsequent evolutions that really stole my heart.

First, we have the hilariously pun-named Eelektrik, and one look at its mouth tells us just what other fish Eelektrik is based on -- the lamprey, an order of jawless fish that are famous for their leech-like mouths that are just basically sucker cups lined with many, many rows of sharp, jagged teeth that really end up like something out of someone's nightmare. Lampreys latch on to bigger fishes with those nasty sucker-mouths and I honestly could go on and on about lampreys... but this article's running as long as it is. So, anyway, they took two types of weird serpentine fishes and glued them together, giving us Eelektrik, a creature with the lamprey's nightmarish mouth and the electric eel's ability to generate electricity. Incidentally, the lamprey bit might explain Tynamo's deal, because a real-life lamprey's young, called ammocoetes, are actually indeed transparent and toothless, hiding in the riverbeds, being timid filter-feeders.


Eelektrik has always seemed weird to me, with its two fins sticking up and down on the front end of the fish's body, but that's because Eelektrik's just an awkward teenage stage, since it's got a final form to unveil if you expose this bugger to a Thunderstone.... upon which it evolves into the mighty Eelektross! Yes, not content at scaring the shit out of humans with the dual features of having the most nightmarish mouth that exists in the natural world and the ability to generate electricity, Eelektross has developed a pair of fins that allows it to waddle on land, and has grown two tentacle-like arms that end in little claws. Eelektross's design is also very pleasantly done, from the way the fanged mouth is aimed below with those teeth growing from its lips, to its blood-red eyes, to the flowing dorsal fin that tapers off... I'm also assuming those yellow markings on Eelektrik and Eelektross glow in the murky depths of the ocean (or within the caves), because they really look like they do. Eelektross apparently is still aquatic, rising out of the ocean to drag prey with its newly-developed arms.


And this creature is just so weirdly gross, so threatening, that it's one of the first pokemon I had on my team. Yes, I had a Galvantula as well, meaning that my first fifth-gen team was burdened with two bugs (Galvantula and Scolipede) and two electric-types (Eelektross and Galvantula) and I'm already using a rather shitty starter, but I did not care. These are the weird-yet-cool Pokemon that I really end up loving from this generation, and I love them a lot. I've always found it rather weird how the games depicted Eelektross's levitation, though. While Tynamo and Eelektrik just quite obviously undulate above the water, in the fifth generation and all related media, Eelektross just waddles around on those two feet like some sort of ridiculous eel-penguin, while the sixth generation onwards has it swim in the air... and I'm genuinely curious what the original concept about this was. Was it supposed to be Water/Electric? Was it supposed to float all along and it's the fifth generation games that fucked up due to the official art? Regardless, though, its levitation ability is honestly a bit of a "sure, why not?" bit. I mean, we already readily accept that gears and ice creams float five feet above the ground, why not electric lamprey-eel monsters? Overall, one of the creepiest and most awesome designs of the fifth generation. Honestly, even if you aren't quite into creepy-crawly animals as I do, you can't tell me that Eelektross isn't in some way just cool.

 6/6.

#605-606: Elgyem & Beheeyem

• Types: Psychic [both]
• Japanese names: Rigure, Obemu
• Categories: Cerebral [both]

These two Psychic-types are based on popular depictions of aliens in Western culture (the Japanese classic tropey alien is an ambulatory jellyfish man), with Elgyem, as its name implies, being based on the L.G.M., the little green man. It's also based visually on the Greys, a recurring trope in alleged alien abduction and alien encounter reports in the US. These are a bit weirder and a wee bit too wacky compared to the likes of Deoxys or the ambiguity surrounding Starmie, Sorlock, Lunatone and Clefairy. Elgyem's story is some sort of homage to things like the Area 51 conspiracies, where Elgyem is never seen until 50 years ago (that date being a homage to the real-life Roswell UFO incident), where a UFO supposedly crashed in the desert. Elgyem has the ability to cause headaches by using its psychic power to squeeze the opponent's brain which sounds insanely painful. Elgyem's big head and its cute eyes, and its weird glowing fingers (apparently a homage to the old War of the Worlds movie) ends up looking rather cute for an alien invader.

In the games, Elgyem is actually found in the Celestial Tower, the burial ground for deceased pokemon, as opposed to the desert, which I've always found to be weird and a bit of a missed opportunity. Some people theorize that all the Elgyem were driven out of the desert either by the abundance of Dark-types like Sandile or by the guardians of the desert ruins, Sigilyph... but then Celestial Tower's also the home to the ghost-type Litwicks, who bullies psychic-types. I dunno. There's another location in Unova where a meteor supposedly crashed, the Great Chasm, but Elgyem's not associated with that area either.

 3/6.

While Elgyem's quite pleasing, I've always been struck that Beheeyem is "off". Of course an alien pokemon would look alien, that's not the problem, but there's just something about Beheeyem that just instantly make me not like him. Maybe it's the very weird eyes, or the strange fungus-like face it has. Maybe it's the dull brown colouring. Maybe it's the weird trenchcoat deal it has. I dunno... I guess it's just the face? I've never liked Beheeyem. Apparently, it's whole gimmick is that they are their own Men in Black, using their finger beams to manipulate an opponent's memory and presumably wipe out any sightings of Elgyem and Beheeyem's true nature from their minds. How hilarious is that? Beheeyem doesn't need the MIB to clean up its mess. It cleans up its own mess! Beheeyem's name, just like Elgyem, is meant to be the reading of a different acronym for aliens -- Bug-Eyed Monster. Beheeyem's weird, and I've never quite managed to like him. Maybe being unnerved by Beheeyem is the intended effect? I dunno. I like a lot of weirdos easily enough, but Beheeyem never quite ranked in that category for me. 

 1/6.

#607-609: Litwick, Lampent & Chandelure

• Types: Ghost/Fire [all three]
• Japanese names: Hitomoshi, Ranpura, Shandera
• Categories: Candle [Litwick], Lamp [Lampent], Luring [Chandelure]

And now we enter one of my all-time favourites, perhaps one of the few man-made item Pokemon introduced after the first generation to be universally loved. Litwick is a Fire/Ghost Pokemon, playing to the inherent creepiness of candles and blue flame with the trope of a will o' wisp (or a hitodama, the Japanese equivalent to the Weset's will o' wisp). Litwick's a reasonably cute little candle buddy with a happy smile and those eerie yellow eyes, with that blue flame constantly burning, and the top half of the candle melting down to look like a neat little bang. And, naturally, Litwick is as creepy as his fellow Unovan ghosts Frillish and Yamask. Litwick is an innocent-looking candle pokemon that's  nothing short of adorable, but its light apparently absorbs the life energy of people and pokemon, using those as the literal fuel for its flames. In the wild, it actually becomes a will o' wisp, being a shining light that pretends to be a guide in the night while draining the literal souls of the saps that follow glowing balls of flame in a dark night. Litwick's adorable, and it essentially fills in Gastly's role as the ghost that's most commonly found in the mausoleum in Unova, the Celestial Tower. 

Still, Litwick is insanely cute, with that adorable face and that cute little flame. It's a little ghost candle, and I imagine it just sits on my shoulder with that happy grin, all the while draining the souls of my enemies. Or me, more likely. 


Litwick evolves into the sadly oft-forgotten Lampent, who's often foreshadowed by the epicness of Chandelure and the cuteness of Litwick. I actually like Lampent a lot, and the idea of a candle evolving into an old-fashioned street lamp is actually genius.  Especially so since Lampent's actually modeled after an oil-fueled street lamp that actually do use candles. It's a striking creature with that little lamp hat, eyes on the side of the glass bowl, and the metal ornaments turn into arms. Lampent is rightly feared by people, apparently wandering through cities and hospitals to search dead bodies, and apparently "steals spirits" from a freshly dead corpse. So bad enough that you die in the Pokemon world, but your immortal soul doesn't go to heaven or hell, but gets consumed by a happy-looking lamp ghost. It's pretty dark! Although apparently considering the alternative is being turned into Yamask... dying's pretty much shit for you in this corner of the Pokemon world, huh.


Lampent evolves even further into Chandelure after being exposed to a Dusk Stone, and just look at that thing! It's a chandelier with glowing yellow eyes, two arms formed by the actual arms of the chandelier, a burning flame atop its head, and a mouth made out of the metal grills around the central lantern. Hell, that mouth might just be my favourite aspect that makes Chandelure so spooky... it just has personality, like some sort of weird stitched-together mouth. There's a glorious balance between the inherent cuteness and ridiculousness of a haunted chandelier with the elegant scariness that this is a ghostly otherworldly being that maintains a set of blue flames fueled by the souls of the dead. It also helps that this thing is actually quite decent, if fragile, of a monster in the game -- so much that actually during my first playthrough of the fifth generation, Chandelure was my go-to attacker instead of my starter. 

Chandelure takes Lampents "eats spirits" bit and ramps it up to eleven. It waves its arms to put its foes into a hypnotic trance, and then eats the spirit, burning the soul with his special flames and leaving the body behind. Apparently those that are burnt by Chandelure are doomed to "lose their way and wander the world forever". As Yamask? Is this why Yamask are only found in Unova? We don't really get any sort of connection, but considering the only ghostly pokemon to be explicitly stated to be formerly human, and they exist in the same region as the same chandelier that curses people's souls to wander the world forever... 

Chandelure is wonderfully gothic, wonderfully creepy yet at the same time ridiculously cute. Hell, its inclusion in Pokken Tournament, complete with an amazingly detailed model is actually the genesis of buying that game at all. I mean, a fighting game with Machamps and Blazikens and Lucarios and Mewtwos is cool and all, but how many fighting games allow you to beat people up with a fucking ghost chandelier? A grand total of one. 


Chandelure is perhaps my favourite pokemon in the fifth generation, and it's already a generation that offers a lot of pokemon for me to love. You know what else is cooler than Chandelure? Shiny Chandelure. Red flames are so passé among Fire-type pokemon that I've always had an appreciation for those who burn with blue flame, and none are more appropriate than a pokemon based on the will o' wisp.... but the fact that the shiny, special super-rare version of Chandelure burns with red-hot flames, like it came straight out of hell and ready to murder you? Yeah. Chandelure is amazing. It's my wacky fire chandelier baby and I love him. 

 6/6.

_____________________________________

Lots of 6/6's at the end, huh? It's this middle chunk -- the batch from #22 and #23 of my reviews -- that end up having some of the straight-up best designs not just in the fifth generation, but in pokemon overall. There are just so many weird and creative things that even if they aren't your thing, they are insanely memorable. And honestly that's what I really like about the fifth generation as a whole. There's just something for everyone -- there's weird bug and fish monsters, as well as creepy ghosts for me; there are insanely mundane "just animal" pokemon, there's a couple of universally-accepted-as-cool dragons and foxes, and I've seen people out there that unironically have Garbodor or Vanilluxe as their favourite pokemon from the fifth generation. More power to the franchise for enabling different people with different tastes, I say!