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#302: Sableye
- Types: Dark/Ghost
- Japanese name: Yamirami
- Category: Darkness
Its earlier sprites didn't show it, but Sableye has the coolest shit-eating jagged grinning mouth in the entirety of Pokemon's history, something that, again, I only discovered watching the anime. It lives in caves, skulking like this sneaky little goblin bastard that he is, and it likes to feed on gemstones, which is why it has gemstones protruding out of its body (as a nice touch, the main ones shown are a ruby and sapphire, referencing the games that Sableye debuted in). To add to the ghost-type creepiness, legend is that Sableye will steal the spirits of people with the glows of their gemstone eyes. The end result is such a cheeky-looking little rapscallion of a goblin that ends up being one of my favourite designs ever. I don't want to talk about competitiveness a lot in these reviews, but Sableye is very popular in the competitive scene, apparently, because it was eventually given the "Prankster" ability, which allowed it to move first if it's using a debilitating status move... which, while it sounds tiresomely irritating, is totally the sort of dickery that someone like Sableye will be down for. Yay Sableye!
6/6.#303: Mawile
- Types: Steel/Fairy [Steel prior to Generation VI]
- Japanese name: Kuchito
- Category: Deceiver
I am not as big a fan of Mawile as her cross-game version exclusive counterpart, but Mawile is pretty dang cool. It's a pure Steel-type, and it's some sort of vague humanoid bunny-animal whose most eye-catching feature is the gigantic venus-flytrap-esque jaw that hangs from her head, ponytail-style. It took me a while before realizing that the jaw-ponytail is actually the back side of Mawile, and her main body is facing away from us. Hell, Mawile's ponytail-jaw even has a huge fake eyespot, and I thought it was pretty cool. The dex entries note that Mawile's head-jaw is actually her horns, and she uses her cute face to lull its prey to a false sense of security before ripping them apart with her giant steel jaws.
Mawile as a pure Steel-type was weird, but she's since been granted the Fairy-type, retconning her into a Steel/Fairy type, which fits with her origin. She's vaguely based on the futakuchi-onna, a yokai that takes the form of a woman with a second mouth on the back of her hair, which is able to manipulate the woman's hair like tentacles to feed its second mouth like a glutton. Other than the vague kimono-esque flares and the two mouths, however, Mawile feels more like a bizarre bunny with a Japanese aesethetic that has developed a particularly intricate method of predation, as well as its cool-looking horn-jaws. Honestly, even without the yokai backstory Mawile still works with the whole duality concept, being cute on one side and savage on the other, either intimidating predators with her giant jaw-mouth or fooling prey with her cute bunny face. Definitely a neat design.
5/6. #304-306: Aron, Lairon & Aggron
- Types: Rock/Steel [all three]
- Japanese names: Kokodora, Kodora, Bosugodora
- Categories: Iron Armor [all three]
Aron then evolves into Lairon, who's pretty cool! It builds up on a more Cetaropsian feel to it, making Lairon look like pretty neat. While it could've been overdesigned, the fact that Lairon only uses two primary colours means that things like the metal bands or the multiple ridges or the segmented jaw doesn't look as busy as it could've been (compare it with, say, Raikou). And the Steel-typing does give it some sort of an excuse to have things like metal bands. There's not really much to Lairon beyond being a bigger, cooler Aron with more defined legs and jaw, but it's cool.
Lairon then evolves into the monstrous Aggron, which back in the day made people call foul and say that Aron's a cheap Rhyhorn knockoff... but the entire line ends up being pretty cool as metal-chomping dinosaurs. Sure, Aggron might look kind of like Rhydon, but he's kaiju-based just like the Nidos and Tyranitar, perhaps being a homage to Mecha-Godzilla, even. Aggron's honestly one of the cooler designs for the kaijus, with its metal plates running down tis back and its gigantic lower jaw, and the cool way those horns are arranged, and the metal bands around his body... again, an inferior design team would be tempted to pick out all those details on Aggron's body with extra colours, but they thankfully didn't. Also loved that the shape of the steel spikes on Aggron's head looks like some sort of weird animal skull helmet.
Aggron's pretty cool, and unlike the destructive bastard that is Tyranitar, and despite being a Steel type... Aggron actually takes care of its own territory, planting trees (!) and moving the soil to restore the natural beauty of the mountain it stakes as its own. I have a hard time imagining this giant metal-rock dinosaur actually gardening, but that's definitely a fun mental image. Definitely a cool kaiju.
5/6. #307-308: Meditite & Medicham
- Types: Fighting/Psychic [both]
- Japanese names: Asanan, Charemu
- Categories: Meditate [both]
Meditite and Medicham follow the generation one trend of fighting-types being humanoids with a certain fighting style. These two are like, fighting with yoga, and as thusly it unlocks like some sort of inner power to use psychic energy? It's definitely not my thing. Meditite always elicits a response of "oh, yeah, this guy" whenever he shows up -- and there's a fair lot of them represented in the third and fourth generations. Meditite looks a bit too humanoid for my tastes, with the only real thing that makes it look a wee bit more pokemon-y being its upside-down onion head. It tries to meditate, but apparently loses its focus and has to start over? And it eats one berry a day? Eh. Not my kind of Pokemon, to be honest. I don't particularly care for Meditite. I really hated that the 3D games made it stand, by the way -- it's supposed to be a psychic meditating dude, let it do its funky yoga pose. What does a Meditite have left when you take away his meditation?
Also, I know a lot of people ignore that game, but I loved Pokemon Colosseum and Meditite has the most ridiculous animation after it gets hit by an attack, where it lifts its legs up and crawls back into position with its hands. It's like something out of a horror movie, not a yoga-based meditating little person!
Meditite's final form is Medicham, who I dislike as much as I do Hariyama. It's got a weird super-thin proportions going on and weird-looking thick lips, and yet another example of gigantic bulb-feet. Not a big fan of its weird hat-hair, too. It's supposed to be able to foretell its foe's actions or something? It's got some sort of Indian or Arabian dancer feel to it, and as a maybe-racist caricature it doesn't look as fun as Ludicolo does. It also kind of drops a lot of the meditation deal, looking more like a yoga practitioner than anything else. And I suppose it's kinda-sorta the ideal art for something where you punch people, but you're still zen? I dunno. And honestly, despite being a psychic/fighting creature Meditite and Medicham completely and utterly fails to appeal to me at all. Not a big fan, and... and I'm genuinely not sure if this is an offensive caricature or not -- I don't really see as much backlash against this evolution line compared to Jynx, but I dunno, I still feel uncomfortable with these. I can't even say that I hate this pair, but I just truly am indifferent about them.
1/6. #309-310: Electrike & Manectric
- Types: Electric [both]
- Japanese names: Rakurai, Raiboruto
- Categories: Lightning [Electrike], Discharge [Manectric]
Electrike is just an electric dog, with a neat green-and-yellow colour scheme. I've always thought Electrike looked awkward, from that weird green spike that juts out of its rear legs looking particularly weird, and just how utterly long the skull stretches backwards. Like, does Electrike have a particularly deformed skull, or is it just weirdly-solid clumps of hair? There's a neat detail in the pokedexes where it uses electricity to stimulate its leg muscles, and the friction from its running is transformed into electricity. It's pretty bland, to be honest, and far too awkward for my liking. Electrike and Manectric in particular are also apparently based on the 'wolf' form of the Raiju, a Japanese beast that can take many forms, one of them being a blue dog. The Raiju's tiger form is the basis for Raikou.
I'm not the biggest fan of Electrike, but I do like Manectric. It's a lightning wolf-dog! And it's blue and yellow, which is pretty cool. Sadly, again, like Electrike, it does look kind of awkward. I'm not sure which bothers me more. The awkwardly drawn 'hair' that looks like Manectric tried to cosplay as a Super Saiyan but used too much hair gel and ended up making a pyramid, or the weirdness of how the front legs have yellow fur at the tip, while the rear legs have yellow fur near the main body, or the awkwardly-bent leg. Manectric at least looks a lot cooler in manga and anime, and its dex entries try to play it as being able to control thunderclouds and thunderbolts and stuff. I used a Manectric in my first Sapphire playthrough to help murder the swarms of Pelippers and Tentacruels in my path -- he's cool enough I guess, but over time I end up looking at Electrike and Manectric and thinking that, yeah, they definitely could've done more in terms of cleaning their designs up. Still, it's not completely horrible. I really kind of want to like them, but they don't really have anything going for them lore-wise and appearance-wise, and I can't really defend them all that much. They're perfectly average, for me.
3/6. #311-312: Plusle & Minun
- Types: Electric [both]
- Japanese names: Purasuru, Mainan
- Categories: Cheering [both]
Oh yeah, the third generation have a lot of these 'pairings'. Sort of like Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan before it's revealed that they are actually alternate evolutions. We've got dudes like Plusle and Minun, who look so connected. Same types, same appearance, same moveset, but they don't breed into each other, and they don't evolve into each other. Regardless, though, Plusle and Minun are a pair of over-exposed bastards created only to capitalize on Pikachu's popularity, and they're... they're not actually as cute as Pikachu or Pichu. Plusle and Minun had a plus-and-minus electrical polarity thing going on, but in practice they end up being nothing but annoying, obnoxious cheerleaders with electrical pom-poms in the anime, and pretty much useless in the games due to their piddly moveset and the fact that their abilities are actually quite crap.
Like, they're not completely un-cute, but whereas the likes of Wurmple and Hoothoot and Taillow brought something new to the table compared to their first generation counterparts, the Pikachu clones honestly don't. More than anything, they just exist to ssell merchandise and feel shoehorned into the game without really feeling like they belong. Like, there's like some sort of attempt to make their designs somewhat unique from Pikachu by giving them ugly bloated rabbit ears, but they just end up looking lazy and boring, and the fact that they don't have any interesting lore or design makes them even worse. Hell, they could've at least done a weird little 'male/female' dealie like they did with Volbeat or Illumise. Or a rivalry like Zangoose and Seviper. Or something. I dunno. There could've been at least an extra layer of token effort to the plus/minus deal, but we don't even get that. Not a big fan, and are far more obvious merchandise plugs than Pichu ever was.
2/6, bordering on 1.#313-314: Volbeat & Illumise
- Types: Bug [both]
- Japanese names: Barubito, Irumize
- Categories: Firefly [both]
There's a neat nod to actual firefly reproduction in some shape or form, with Volbeats creating intricate patterns in the night sky with their butt-lights, while Illumises use scent to attract their mates and guide the Volbeat to create even-more-complex pattern like a cute little conductor. Volbeat and Illumise's "hair" and body markings are apparently a reference to, respectively, 60's greaser subculture and 20's flapper subculture, which is honestly just a bit bizarre. It's a shame that these two honestly don't really get that much other than being a chunky pair of huamnoid fireflies, and end up being honestly pretty forgettable due to their lack of anything memorable other than the gender gimmick. They're not terrible, but when I forget a Bug-type, you know these two aren't the most memorable.
1/6. #315: Roselia
- Types: Grass/Poison
- Japanese name: Rozeria
- Category: Thorn
Roselia's neat. She's a Grass/Poison little rose person that has a pair of roses -- one red and one blue -- for arms, and she shoots like thorns and shit from inside those roses. Her little fake-dress is made out of leaves, and her head is a neat crown of thorns that looks both graceful and has the whole 'rose thorns' aesthetic down pat. Roselia looks just so small and demure with closed eyes, and she's pretty prominent in the anime. I also remembered that the manga's vesrion of Roselia was hilariously tiny, fitting into his breast pocket.
Roselia in the third generation had the signature move Grasswhistle, which I always felt weird -- it's just a shittier version of Sleep Powder. Huh. Roselia's neat, and she's just a chill 'healer' type Pokemon in lore, being used more for contests or for healing with aromatherapy skills. I also really like its shiny sprite, which replaces the red and blue flowers with a purple and black one. Roselia is also pretty prominent in the fourth generation, too, which is surprising for what's not the most exciting Pokemon out there. Roselia's neat. No complaints from me.
4/6. #316-317: Gulpin & Swalot
- Types: Poison [both]
- Japanese names: Gokurin, Marunomu
- Categories: Stomach [Gulpin], Poison Bag [Swalot]
Gulpin and Swalot embody a different sort of poison compared to the previous ones, and that is of acid. Stomach acid, in fact, because apparently these two are just crawling stomach-organs? Acid isn't technically poisonous. It'll kill you, sure, but not in the way that you'd traditionally associate with poison or venom. Gulpin sort of looks like a fat slug with sleepy eyes, a cute kissy-mouth and weird rudimentary hands and that weird yellow... feather? Gulpin's a cute and simple design, and it's a weird animal able to stretch its mouth open and swallow anything smaller than it, upon which its powerful stomach acids can dissolve apparently anything. It's a neat little design for a monster which while isn't based on any real animal out there, and I like it. It did admittedly take some time for it to grow on me, but it looks kind of unique as far as 'blob' or 'slime' monsters go.
Gulpin then becomes Swalot, which is a lot taller, completely purple, and has those weird black diamond patterns run across its body instead of just on Gulpin's butt. Oh, and Swalot's got a pair of mustaches and beady red eyes. It's like a less-gross and more animalistic version of Grimer and Muk. It's a shame that Swalot's essentially "Gulpin, but bigger". I guess it can launch toxic sweat from its follicles, which is something? I've always loved how its mouth can expand so large, especially in some insane TCG card artwork. Swalot is neat in its simplicity, being weird enough with its simple 'swallow and digest' gimmick. I kinda wish that they actually tried to do more with Swalot other than just making him a generic gluttonous blob, but there's definitely a charm to the two. I really didn't super-like either one of these as a kid, but as time went on, I ended up really appreciating these two big slug-blobs.
4/6. #318-319: Carvanha & Sharpedo
- Types: Water/Dark [both]
- Japanese names: Kibania, Samehada
- Categories: Savage [Carvanha], Brutal [Sharpedo]
Oh, and Carvanha and Sharpedo are Water/Dark, because they're... evil... somehow? They're just carnivores, that's honestly a bit mean to call them evil. I suppose it's because Team Aqua really likes to use them? Oh, the third generation introduced two evil teams -- if you play Sapphire, Team Aqua are the dastardly sailor-ecoterrorists trying to flood the world and turn the entire globe into water, while Team Magma is on your side. On Ruby, the roles are reversed. In the updated remake, Emerald, as well as both the anime and manga, both Magma and Aqua are evil, and they'll ally with protagonists depending on the situation. It's neat, and I do like Carvanha as the mean, evil, dastardly fish that ends up sort of becoming a mascot of the team as a whole.
Carvanha's a neat adaptation of piranhas, even if it's the exaggerated "swarm and devour all flesh" interpretation in popular culture. Apparently Carvanhas attack boats in swarms, particularly in jungle rivers (like real piranhas!). I'm a big fan of Carvanha.
Equally as interesting is the evolved form, Sharpedo. A piranha evolving into a shark makes about as much sense as a baby kitten evolving into a brown bear, but I never really minded all that much. Sharpedo's, y'know, a shark, but keeping in theme with Carvanha, Sharpedo tries to resemble a torpedo. This makes it look cool with the way the shark fins are arranged. Unfortunately, this means that Sharpedo got its rear half cut off, making him literally half a shark. I can never get over how absolutely weird Sharpedo is. It looks fierce, though, which makes the 'predator of the ocean' deal work pretty well.
It's a good thing Sharpedo has a lot going on for it that makes it cool, and sharks are already inherently cool. It's got that yellow star tattoo on its snout, its eye neatly moves around in the gill holes just like some sort of cool medieval helmet, and the sixth and seventh generation characterizes surfing on Sharpedo like riding on a jet-ski. A jet-ski that uses its powerful shark teeth to smash rocks. Sharpedo's a lot cooler, but I still can't get over the fact that it's half a fish. I suppose it's testament to how cool sharks (and Sharpedo himself) are because I still find him cool despite his shortcomings. A neat pokemon, and a neat mascot for Team Aqua. The newer dex entries note that Sharpedo, like real-life sharks, are actually victims of over-hunting to make delicacies. Horrible! Shit like this is why Team Aqua wants to drown the world.
5/6. #320-321: Wailmer & Wailord
- Types: Water [both]
- Japanese names: Hoeruko, Hoeruo
- Categories: Ball Whale [Wailmer], Float Whale [Wailord]
Yeah, the third generation does a lot of "oh hey, we haven't done X animal yet!" and Wailmer is the whale Pokemon. But it's also a beach ball! It's like a ball with whale fins and a hilariously goofy and happy grinning baleen whale mouth. I can't hate Wailmer. He's just too happy to be alive. I've never been super-impressed by Wailmer's design, but it's a cute little ball whale and I love it. It is just a water-type, but I do like how Wailmer and Wailord add a fair bit more diversity to the aquatic setting. They're otherwise just pretty boring pure-Water types, but the design's pleasant enough.
Wailmer evolves into the massive Wailord, which is less cute than the constantly-happy-and-grinning Wailmer. Wailord is a whale, and it's big, and apparently is supposed to be a parade float or a blimp or something? Wailord does look pretty impressive especially in the Adventures manga where they often exaggerate his scale, and I definitely think that it's a huge shame that the game never takes note of its immense size and make it an actual gimmick. It's a blimp, so it's actually light -- despite being the largest pokemon at 14.5 meters (which is often exaggerated in both manga and anime, too), Wailord only weighs 398 kilograms, which is extremely light when you think about it. I guess he's just filled with air?
I've always liked Wailord for one thing -- its immense size. Which, according to the pokedex is a mere 14.5 meters, which is quite small even for a real-life blue whale, and I'm so happy that anime and manga adaptations tend to just ignore the pokedex entries outright to make these Pokemon look so much bigger than they are. Other than legendaries, I honestly can't really think of really large pokemon other than Onix, Steelix and Wailord, and while it makes doing things like the 3D models simpler, I kind of wished they did more large creatures. Eh, overall Wailmer and Wailord are decent Water-types. I do like it that when they adapt an animal they just do something extra to spice it up. Like balloons!
4/6. #322-323: Numel & Camerupt
- Types: Fire/Ground [both]
- Japanese names: Donmeru, Bakuuda
- Categories: Numb [Numel], Eruption [Camerupt]
Numel and Camerupt form like some sort of 'rivalry' in my head with Carvanha and Sharpedo, because this is the signature Pokemon of Team Magma. Numel is a Fire/Ground Pokemon, and apparently it's a camel... a weird one with stumpy legs and the most tired-looking face on a camel, and it honestly looks pretty un-camel-y other than the hump. Numels live in volcanoes instead of deserts, though, so there's that? The third generation features a massive volcano in the middle of the region, and I think the sheer amount of differing habitats present in the third generation allowed such a large variety of weird creatures. Numel's... kind of just there, using a camel's hump as a volcano (there's actually a hole there which the angle of the official art doesn't make evident). Not quite sure what the green bits are. Overall I think it could've done with less details -- the green stuff on its back, and the weird tuft between its ears -- but Numel does look neatly dopey in the same way that the likes of Slowpoke does.
It evolves into Camerupt, which looks even less like a camel, instead looking like a gigantic fat cow with stubby hoofed legs, and two humps that far more readily resemble actual volcanoes. The dex note that the rocky volcanic mountain things are actually made out of bone. Huh. I've always thought that Camerupt has a very, very weird design choice when they slapped those blue circles on its sides. What are those even supposed to be? Camerupt does still look somewhat cool, retaining that dopey look from Numel but its body and posture looks powerful enough that whether it charges you like a bull or erupts like a volcano, it will fuck you up.
These two camels don't really look like camels, but they do look like a species that would wander around volcanic craters and occasionally erupt on their own. They look pretty chill, which honestly used to surprise me why the design team used them as the signature pokemon of the evil Team Magma as opposed to, say, Houndoom... but Camerupt does exude a threatening presence to it. These are all right, even if I don't really have much praise for them, I liked that the biodiversity of Hoenn's quite wide.
3/6. #324: Torkoal
- Type: Fire
- Japanese name: Kotasu
- Category: Coal
Torkoal! Yeah, having a little volcanic area to dump multiple volcano-themed fire-types allowed the third generation to add this cute little volcano turtle into the mix... and Torkoal would've been one of those Pokemon that's easily forgotten if not for the anime and manga making copious usage of this smoke-spewing lava tortoise. The anime had Ash capture one and it's an overly-emotional crybaby that toots like a boiling teapot whenever it gets emotional, while the manga has one of the team Magma admins use Torkoal to great usage. The thing about Torkoal is honestly that it just doesn't have much going on for it, and sitting next to fellow volcano-based pokemon Camerupt, which evolves and has a secondary typing (Torkoal is pure Fire-type, and considering the shape of his shell I've often mistaken the dude for a Fire/Rock), makes Torkoal look so underwhelming even though it's arguably a better design than Camerupt. From the gray bands on its neck and legs, to the glowing red pores on its shell, to the smoke, Torkoal is a walking furnace-tortoise and I'm a fan of it.
It's a simple design that works with a simple concept, and I do like this cute little giant tortoise... I just wish they had given Torkoal anything from a secondary typing, an evolution, a proper niche in the lore or a unique ability. Torkoal is pretty memorable thanks to the anime, though, so it's definitely one of those Pokemon where I probably wouldn't have given a shit about if not for the anime. Good for you, anime.
4/6. #325-326: Spoink & Grumpig
- Types: Psychic [both]
- Japanese names: Banebu, Bupiggu
- Categories: Bounce [Spoink], Manipulative [Grumpig]
Oh, hey, a pig. After Swinub depicting wild, shaggy boars, Spoink seems to be based on a far more traditional farm pig. Taking the term "pearls before swine" to a hilarious extreme, Spoink is a weird pig whose entire lower body is a spring, a reference to a pig's curled tail, and it has a pearl on top of its head that it uses to focus its psychic powers. Yep, a psychic pig. Spoink apparently continues to bounce to keep its heart pumping, even when it's asleep, because if it stops bouncing, "it dies", according to the pokedex. It goes off in search of bigger pearls, and apparently they got theirs mainly from Clamperls... whose heads are pearls. Huh. It's the sort of weird logistical problem that "all Cubones wear the skulls of their mothers" present.
Spoink's a neat little basic-stage pokemon, a weird concept for a psychic type, but the combination of the pearl and its constantly-bouncing deal makes it somewhat unique. Unfortunately, that all goes out of the window when it turns into Grumpig... which means Spoink gets a separate score!
4/6.
4/6.
And Grumpig is just... a fat, anthropomorphized pig, with none of the cuteness that Spoink has. The huge pearl is reduced to a bunch of tiny black pearls stuck to Grumpig's head, and its spring tail is reduced to a boring pig tail. There's like some lore about dancing to take control of the enemy, but when they were trying to sell me on the concept of "psychic pig that focuses his power via pearls", Grumpig is like the most boring version of this design you could've thought of. There's a reason that these two are often forgotten when people talk about the Hoenn region, because they're just.... there. Their designs aren't bad enough to complain about, but they're just.... so boring. Especially when the concept behind Spoink was legitimately interesting, but under-developed. Overall, one of the more disappointing entries in the third generation.
2/6.#327: Spinda
- Type: Normal
- Japanese names: Patchiru
- Category: Spot Panda
Long before Pancham and Pangoro made their debut into the Pokemon world, the panda was one of the popular animals to never really got a pokemon... and we got Spinda! And boy ,what a bizarrely unexpected design this is. It's less of a panda and more of a funny rabbit-man, but with patterns resembling a panda. Oh, and the spots are red, a possible reference to the red panda, a relative of the more popular panda bears. But Spinda actually has a gimmick. Multiple ones, in fact. These Normal-types are always portrayed with dizzy eyes, and especially in the 3D games, they are always just tottering in place like a happy drunk, dizzy from dancing too much. And that confusion-inducing dance-walk is their whole thing. They used to be the only pokemon that can learn Teeter Dance, and their moveset has a lot of other dances in them.
But the best part of Spinda is that it was programmed into the game that the spots on the Spinda's faces are randomly generated, meaning that no two Spinda are ever alike -- something that is emphasized by the pokedex. The algorithm, according to bulbapedia, means that due to the way that Spinda's spots is calculated, the chances of two Spindas having the same spots is 1 in 4,294,967,295. It's a pretty awesome feature and it's a bit of a shame that it's honestly somewhat wasted on a Pokemon that's just there for flavour... but I find him quite likable.
3/6. #328-330: Trapinch, Vibrava & Flygon
- Types: Ground [Trapinch], Ground/Dragon [Vibrava/Flygon]
- Japanese names: Nakkura, Biburaba, Furaigon
- Categories: Ant Pit [Trapinch], Vibration [Vibrava], Mystic [Flygon]
Here's another evolutionary line that I really love. They're ostensibly based on the antlion, a type of lacewing (closely related to damselflies and dragonflies) from the family Myrmeleontidae, who are infamous (especially in Japan) for their larval stage, which look absolutely badass, creating a iconic sinkhole-esque trap in sandy areas for ants and other small insects to wander into. Also known as Doodlebugs, these tiny sand-pits are so surreal and fantastical, and the inspiration of the gigantic Sarlacc from the Star Wars movies. Oh, and Trapinch. While the antlion larvae does feature a huge pair of jaws, that's honestly the only thing that the real-life antlion has in common with Trapinch. Trapinch's gigantic jaws look more like the jaws of a cartoon animal, sort of like Mario's Chain Chomp, and its body, while somewhat bug-like, looks more like a turtle. Which is all well and good, because Trapinch's not a bug. It's a pure Ground-type that just happens to be analogous to a real-life insect. Which is neat.
Trapinch is one of the most common enemies in the desert area in Hoenn, Route 111, and are irritating to encounter due to their Arena Trap ability, meaning that you can't escape from this antlion, and you need to actually beat it to end the battle. I'm such a big fan of this design, looking buggy but at the same time not overtly an insect, and I've always been taken in by the huge chomping mouth and the star-shaped eyes. The dex entries take note of how it hunts (which is basically identical to an antlion larva) and the fact that its mouth is way, way too big that if it topples over it's in trouble.
Trapinch evolves into Vibrava, eschewing the pupal stage of an antlion into... well, it's basically just a damselfly, isn't it? Except Vibrava isn't Bug-type, or Flying-type... but Ground/Dragon. This typing makes far more sense once you peek at the evolution's final form, but for the life of me I could've sworn that Vibrava was Ground-something-else (it keeps the Ground from Trapinch to be immune to the sandstorms) and gains Dragon as Flygon. It's a bit of a shame since both Trapinch and Flygon are somewhat more reptilian in appearance compared to their real-life insect counterparts, and to see Vibrava just be a bug is... a bit odd. It's a very nice-looking bug, at least. Well, I say a bug. This thing's a sand dragon. (Apparently dragonflies are called "sand-dragons" in some parts of the world? Huh, that actually makes the pun work a bit better.) As its name imply, Vibrava's whole gimmick is creating ultrasonic waves by vibrating its diamond-shaped wings very quickly, and it apparently attacks its prey and dissolves them with acid.
Trapinch's final line is Flygon, which is one of the many, many dragons that this generation will introduce to us. Flygon's probably one of my favourites, a sadly underrated little bugger thanks to its relatively underwhelming stats and movepool. Still, I have a huge, huge soft spot in my heart for Flygon, being introduced to it by the pretty awesome Jirachi: Wish-Maker movie. Plus, if you've known anything in the reviews of the previous 300 or so Pokemon is that I am a huge, huge fan of insects, and Flygon is an insect dragon. The antennae, the weird diamond-shaped wings,and especially the bug-eye-like goggles on Flygon's head all just look pretty amazing, leading to a very sleek, awesome looking dragon. It's apparently the "elemental spirit of the desert", and it is often enveloped by a sandstorm while flying. If there's a Pokemon that needs three types, Flygon gets my vote -- it should be a dragon-type because it's a dragon, it's a ground-type because it lives in the desert, and it should really be flying type. Having Vibrava and Flygon have their flight be reduced to a "Levitate" ability never sat right with me, and as boring as it is to have these just be yet another Dragon/Flying type, I sometimes wonder if they wouldn't work better as Dragon/Flying types with an ability that instead conferred immunity to Sandstorm. Oh well. Still, Trapinch's awesome, Vibrava's neat and Flygon's really awesome. Easily one of my favourite evolutionary lines in the third generation.
6/6. #331-332: Cacnea & Cacturne
- Types: Grass [Cacnea], Grass/Dark [Cacturne]
- Japanese names: Sabonea, Nokutasu
- Categories: Cactus [Cacnea], Scarecrow [Cacturne]
Oh, hey, speaking of a non-Ground type that is immune to the sandstorm effect... we have Cacnea. Who actually is a pure-Grass type immune to the sandstorm that it lives in thanks to its "Sand Veil" ability. I do like Cacnea and Cacturne a lot. They could've been simple cactus pokemon with eyes and limbs, the way that minimal-effort grass pokemon like Sunflora was designed, but they gave them some neat bits. Cacnea, the younger of the two, is a pure-Grass type based on the smaller, chubbier barrel cactus. From the little tuft of yellow 'hair', to the club-like arms ending with spikes, and the spike-like feet, Cacnea's most adorable feature was its face, which is a smiling jack-o-lantern grin of multiple black holes and two eyes. It's a neatly spooky grass type, looking pretty dang unique in a desert area filled with mostly brown ground-types like Trapinch, Sandshrew and Baltoy.
Cacnea and Cacturne used to have the move Needle Arm as their signature move because, well, their arms are literally just needles. Needle Arm is another one of those moves that just has a really painful-looking animation in the games. Cacnea is just happy to live in the desert, allowing its flower to bloom and surviving without water for a month. It's a happy cactus! It's also featured prominently in the anime, replacing Victreebel as James' overly-attached grass-type pokemon. Whereas Victreebel would nom down on James, Cacnea would hug him with those needle-tipped club-arms.
Cacnea evolves into Cacturne, which is based on the vaguely human-shaped Saguaro cactus. I do find it a bit of a shame that Cacturne doesn't quite have the same amount of mean-looking needles that Cacnea or Roselia have, with its 'needles' looking like weird little diamond stickers, but the anime and manga shows that those club-like hands can machine-gun out Needle Arms. It's cool. Cacturne's species is identified as the 'scarecrow pokemon' in the pokedex, which is just insanely cool. It still has the same happy jack-o-lantern face that Cacnea has, but the change of eye from white to a more sinister yellow, plus the addition of that giant hat... and the fact that Cacturne is a Grass/Dark makes Cacturne so much more sinister while still looking somewhat friendly if it's on your side. (Or is it?)
Cacturne doesn't have the straw body or the farmer's clothes or the scrawny proportions that traditional demonic scarecrows have, but rather this is communicated eerily by descriptions of its pokedex entries. It remains unmoving in the day time, but at night, Cacturne will follow travelers in a ragtag group, "biding their time, waiting until the traveler to tire and become incapable of moving". It's just such a sinister description, and can you just imagine, trekking through an endless desert, with a bunch of cactus-scarecrows in the distance behind you, and at night they slowly move and shuffle around, knowing that you're in their territory and if you ever collapse, you'll become their prey? It's just such a haunting and terrifying description, which rockets Cacturne up to my favourites. Making a simple scarecrow monster is easy. It's a cliche, at this point, in fact. Combining that with a cactus, a specific role in the desert, a jack-o-lantern face and vulture-esque behaviour?
Yeah. As someone who 'mains' Swampert, one of my biggest and most undignified losses in playing a pokemon game is confidently waltzing through Victory Road with little healing items during a speed-run of Emerald, then getting stopped by this jackass Cooltrainer Edgar near the end of the long, winding dungeon and his Cacturne, which proceeded to use Ingrain which allows it to heal every turn, and then Needle-Arm-swept my entire team. That's pretty badass, to be honest. I've since used Cacturne a couple of times in my Hoenn playthroughs, and while not the most powerful pokemon out there, he's really neat to use. I sometimes wish he was somewhat given a few extra details, and that his 3D sprite in the sixth and seventh generation games didn't look so balloon-y, but eh. Cacturne's really awesome.
6/6. 
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