Movie Review: Pokemon - Kyurem and the Sword of Justice

Pokemon: Kyurem and the Sword of Justice

Pokemon: Kyurem and the Sword of Justice is the fifteenth movie to be released as a tie-in to the media juggernaut that is Pokemon, and the second out of three movies to be released during the fifth generation (Black/White) era. With a phletora of legendaries in the fifth generation, they actually used several of those as actual arc-driving characters in the anime, leading to one of the more memorable anime arcs. But we're not here to talk about them -- we're here to talk about this movie, a 70-minute trainwreck of decent plot ideas that kind of went nowhere due to poor execution and writing.

We are quickly re-introduced to Ash and party, which is fine... and then cut away to the titular Sacred Swordsmen, Keldeo. The idea that they are adapting the Three Musketeers to a bunch of quadrupedal mammals that sword-fight using magical aura blades that emerge from their forehead is a bit too bizarre and honestly unwieldy-looking even for a franchise like Pokemon, but honestly if it's done well I wouldn't particularly have minded. The thing is... it isn't. After a brief training montage where none of the 'senior' Musketeers got any sort of personality beyond a single word (Cobalion's strict, Terrakion's jolly and Virizion's elegant) Keldeo demands that he HAS to fight Kyurem.

Why does he want to fight Kyurem? No real reason. Why Kyurem specifically, and why so urgent? There's only a vague "Kyurem is the final stepping stone to become a proper Sword of Justice" legend, which sort of throws everything into a loop. Why so urgent, then, Keldeo? And if Kyurem is actually portrayed as evil (it isn't) thjen why doesn't the senior Swords of Justice beat him up? If Kyurem is actually an associate of sorts, why did it freeze the senior swordsmen and why is Keldeo so jumpy and intent on fighting him? It's honestly a bit confusing just why Keldeo is doing all this.

But nope, Keldeo just waltzes into Kyurem's icy cave where he's just not bothering anyone, talks smack and generally succeeds in being the moist annoying Pokemon in an animated adaptation bar none. His recklessness causes his three mentors to show up to bail him out, leadingh Kyurem (who apparently can shift into his fused White/Black Kyurem forms at will) to freeze the Musketeers in place. Keldeo, who, at this point, has disobeyed his mentors and tried to attack another Pokemon on his own home for no real reason, decides to bail because he's afraid. Kyurem, meanwhile, pursues Keldeo beacuse "the battle is not over!" which is also as flat as a motivation as you can get... but eeh.

Keldeo, naturally, bumps into Ash, Iris and Cilan, and go through a lot of filler hijinks as they try to get Keldeo to get to a goddamn Pokemon Center to be cured, some exposition of things we already know of, and some very asinine dialogue to get Keldeo's fighting spirits up, Kyurem attacks with a very cool army of Cryogonals. Iris and Cilan draw Kyurem away because the side-characters need to do something (although if I must hazard a guess, maybe they're as tired as Keldeo's obnoxious attitude as I am). Ash frees the Swords of Justice, Keldeo and Kyurem fight each other, Keldeo gets a bullshit power-up to promote a brand-new form, and then Keldeo ends up throwing the match to jump in the way of an attack that gets ricocheted towards Ash. Everyone congratulates Keldeo aand we get an oath-speaking ceremony.

And honestly? The movie is dull. Inexorably so. It's perhaps a problem with the designs of the Swordsmen themselves where none of them really look agile or maneuverable enough to really believably swordfight. None of the action scenes are endearing, and it isn't helped by a flimsy premise, the most obnoxious piece-of-shit legendary that I end up actively rooting against, and it essentially did not need to be 70 minutes long. Hell, this entire plotline could've been a single episode in the anime, and it wouldn't necessarily be a good episode either. It's a mixture of half-baked ideas, poor execution, slipshod scripting and a very unlikable protagonist. Overall, my personal least favourite of the Pokemon movies... and yes, that includes the Manaphy one.