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#333-334: Swablu & Altaria
- Types: Normal/Flying [Swablu], Dragon/Flying [Altaria]
- Japanese names: Chirutto, Chirutarisu
- Categories: Cotton Bird [Swablu], Humming [Altaria]
Swablu is a fun little thing. She's a cute little songbird, a Normal/Flying one with a pudgy little head-body, the most adorable eyes and beak, and two wings made entirely out of clouds. Clouds which just look like adorable cotton candy. I'm not sure what drew me to Swablu so much -- you'd think that it doesn't really work for me since I tend to go for creepy or cool pokemon, but Swablu just kind of makes itself weird enough compared to the Pidgeys and Taillows of the world, and I absolutely found the description of it sitting on top of its trainer's heads like a "cotton fluff hat". It's just fun and adorable, and I thought that it's just, well, another simple Normal/Flying evolution that appears in the mid-game, filling the same niche that Dodrio does... except it doesn't.
Because the adorable little bird evolves into the equally-adorable Altaria, who's a grown-up, more graceful Swablu with a nice craning neck and far more fluff, is a dragon. Yes, Altaria is a Dragon/Flying, which absolutely tickled my fancy when I first saw it. While it's sadly no longer the case, I always loved how Altaria continued the tradition started by Kingdra that dragon-types in the pokemon world can sometimes be really weird. In Altaria's case, she's thought to be a reference to the Chinese Peng, a mighty bird that soars above all the worldy desires on wings of clouds. Altaria's English and Japanese names all refer to constellations, with Altaria referring to the star Altair in the constellation of Aquila (the Eagle), while her Japanese name, Tyltalis, is a reference to Tyl, a star in the constellation Draco (the dragon). Some people think that Tyltalis might also be a reference to the character Tyltyl in the Belgian play titled The Blue Bird... but honestly, all of it feels like a weird soup of possible origins more than anything... because Altaria's gimmick is apparently not just its soft fluffy wings, but its humming. Like Gardevoir, Altarias will bond to their trainer and try to glomp them with their large, fluffy wings, which is adorable.
In either case, Altaria is a mighty cloud-bird who also happens to be a dragon. It's always been absolutely adorable and fluffy, a cute little dragon-bird that I always liked more when its main body is just a gigantic puffball. It actually has wings that it can extend, which I always felt made Altaria feel somewhat less mystical and more like a duck that flew through a cotton tree. Still, Altaria's pretty majestic and I've always had a soft spot for her. Also loved her shiny sprite, which made Altaria's main body a nice shade of yellow. I've used an Altaria in some of my playthroughs of Hoenn and a Nuzlocke of Pokemon Platinum, and it's a pretty powerful, yet adorable, dragon-songbird.
Because the adorable little bird evolves into the equally-adorable Altaria, who's a grown-up, more graceful Swablu with a nice craning neck and far more fluff, is a dragon. Yes, Altaria is a Dragon/Flying, which absolutely tickled my fancy when I first saw it. While it's sadly no longer the case, I always loved how Altaria continued the tradition started by Kingdra that dragon-types in the pokemon world can sometimes be really weird. In Altaria's case, she's thought to be a reference to the Chinese Peng, a mighty bird that soars above all the worldy desires on wings of clouds. Altaria's English and Japanese names all refer to constellations, with Altaria referring to the star Altair in the constellation of Aquila (the Eagle), while her Japanese name, Tyltalis, is a reference to Tyl, a star in the constellation Draco (the dragon). Some people think that Tyltalis might also be a reference to the character Tyltyl in the Belgian play titled The Blue Bird... but honestly, all of it feels like a weird soup of possible origins more than anything... because Altaria's gimmick is apparently not just its soft fluffy wings, but its humming. Like Gardevoir, Altarias will bond to their trainer and try to glomp them with their large, fluffy wings, which is adorable.
In either case, Altaria is a mighty cloud-bird who also happens to be a dragon. It's always been absolutely adorable and fluffy, a cute little dragon-bird that I always liked more when its main body is just a gigantic puffball. It actually has wings that it can extend, which I always felt made Altaria feel somewhat less mystical and more like a duck that flew through a cotton tree. Still, Altaria's pretty majestic and I've always had a soft spot for her. Also loved her shiny sprite, which made Altaria's main body a nice shade of yellow. I've used an Altaria in some of my playthroughs of Hoenn and a Nuzlocke of Pokemon Platinum, and it's a pretty powerful, yet adorable, dragon-songbird.
5/6. #335: Zangoose
- Type: Normal
- Japanese name: Zangusu
- Category: Cat Ferret
Zangoose forms a pair with the next pokemon on the pokedex, Seviper, but unlike the pair of Plusle/Minun and Volbeat/Illumise, we're going to review them separately because their connection is not a friendly one. In fact, they're antagonistic rivals. Zangoose is a highly stylized, anthropomorphized mongoose, and he fights against the venomous snake Seviper. Mongoose and snakes are rivals in Japanese culture, which led to this pair of Pokemon. They're also version exclusives, with Zangoose being exclusive to Ruby and Seviper to Sapphire. Zangoose is a Normal-type, and it's... it's okay. It has the same two-clawed hand designed shared with Linoone, Slakoth and Vigoroth, and its got a neat little white-and-red colour scheme going on. Ostensibly those red asymmetric markings on Zangoose's face and belly are scars, But I kinda like the interpretation that Zangoose's red parts are actually dried viper blood. Zangoose's really cool, honestly, and sadly rather underappreciated for being a non-evolving normal-type. It's a great design, but sadly lore-wise is only defined by its rivalry with Seviper.
I do love how all his abilities revolve around resisting or getting advantage from poisonous moves, though, and its their relative immunity to snake poison that make real-life mongoose able to prey on snakes (even if their 'rivalry' is pretty embellished). Zangoose used to be the only pokemon who can learn the move Crush Claw, which... isn't particularly impressive. Still, a neat design and one that I definitely appreciate.
3/6. #336: Seviper
- Type: Poison
- Japanese names: Habuneku
- Categories: Fang Snake
Seviper actually refers to a subset of vipers known as the "habu" snakes in Japan (actually referenced by Seviper's original name Habunake), which are well-known for being used in fighting mongooses in Japanese roadside shows. Thankfully, this pretty barbaric practice has nowadays long since been abandoned. Seviper's pretty cool -- I honestly wouldn't mind a viper to go with Ekans' rattlesnake and Arbok's cobra, but the addition of the rivalry with Zangoose and that badass sword-tail, as well as Seviper's huge role in the anime, making her far cooler than what she would be if she was just a standalone snake pokemon.
4/6. #337-338: Lunatone & Solrock
- Types: Rock/Psychic [both]
- Japanese names: Runaton, Sorurokku
- Categories: Meteorite [both]
This is a pair that I was sure that I'd give a 2/5 or 3/5 before writing this review, until I realized that, hey, I actually do like these two a fair bit. They are another pair of "counterparts", neither evolving into the other, not being able to produce offspring of each other the way that Volbeat and Illumise can, and being version exclusives -- Lunatone to Sapphire and Solrock to Ruby. These two are Rock/Psychic types that are so obviously tied to each other, with similar stats (just with physical and special stats swapped), movepools and general backstory. It's like a Hitmonlee/Hitmonchan deal going on, except we never got a Tyrogue to explain these two as a family. And you know what? I'm fine with that, with these two species just being counterparts without a direct relationship. Previously, I tend to brush these two off as just those neat rock-psychic dudes that Liza & Tate, the double-battle gym leader, uses.
But taking a look at them, I find that they do have a fair bit of fascinating backstory. Obviously, they're based on a crescent moon and a cartoon sun, respectively, but made entirely out of rock. And because they're psychic, they can float and levitate and shit. The thing is, though, they're originally found in the crater-filled mountain called Meteor Falls... and the pokedex notes that these two are discovered in locations where meteorites fell, adding yet another piece to the puzzle that pokemon came from space, sort of forming a distaff relationship with the star-shaped Starmie or Clefairy, except, as their dex entries note, they are 'meteorite' pokemon, which explains the rock that comprises their forms.
Lunatone is noted to have its activity and health be tied to the lunar cycle, and its red eyes "cause all who see it to become transfixed with fear". I've always liked Lunatone a lot, it's just so creepy with its weird unmoving nose-beak, the faux craters that dot its form, and the aforementioned red eyes set deep in black craters. I think I caught one during a Nuzlocke of Sapphire? Lunatone a surprisingly wide variety of moves, including, as added in the newer generations, the Fairy-type Moonblast.
I think Solrock's the cooler one out of the two, though. I really just love how weirdly jagged those stone spires that form Solrock's rays are, and I am such a big fan of the weird shape of the eyes and the little yellow stones that dot Solrock's main head. Whereas Lunatone is slightly more sinister, Solrock's a bit more benign, reading the emotions of others and giving off heat. Solrock's moveset also plays into the whole sunny day theme, with Solrock learning a variety of fire moves and Solarbeam. I thought that it's neat.
And while these two are neat, they haven't received much love in recent years, and I thought that it's a particularly egregious bit when the generation where the main games are called Pokemon: Sun and Moon doesn't only not give them anything new, but also doesn't even include these two in the games. For shame, Gamefreak.
4/6.#339-340: Barboach & Whiscash
- Types: Water/Ground [both]
- Japanese names: Dojotchi, Namazun
- Categories: Whiskers [both]
I like Barboach and Whiscash. They're based on loaches and catfishes, which are themselves not particularly interesting -- freshwater fishes with whiskers that are bottom feeders. Barboach at least tries to make itself look somewhat distinct, and while not particularly revolutionary, at least is drawn well. It just really look like a cartoon catfish, though -- Barboach is also Water/Ground, reflecting a loach's tendency to stay close to the riverbed, and a chunk of mythology that we'll talk about with Whiscash. Like a real catfish, Barboach's whiskers act as a radar system underwater, and it's body is coated with a slimy film. While otherwise not the most exciting fishy out there, Barboach's dex entries are surprisingly varied and not repetitive. In some regions, it's apparently said to be born out of mud itself. And it apparently hunts by burrowing underwater with only its sensitive whiskers exposed to ambush prey like a trapdoor spider or something.
I used to think that Barboach was a weird shrimp the first time I saw one in-game thanks to how its sprite was in the third-generation games, until I managed to see its official artwork and realize it's supposed to be a fish. Somehow the 'loach' bit didn't jump to me as much as it should.
Barboach evolves into Whiscash, which is a fat, dopey-faced catfish with pronounced whiskers and a weird 'W' tattooed on its head and weird little leg-like fins. It's a neat design, although I sometimes wish that they had one less detail, be it the weird dangly lip-growths or the W on its forehead. It's all well and good, but Whishcash is based on the Namazu, a giant catfish in Japanese mythology that lives under Japan, and is restrained with a stone by the god Kashima. But any time Namazu manages to wiggle free and thrash about, it will cause an earthquake. It's since been used in modern-day Japan as like a mascot for earthquakes. I suppose it's based on how catfishes can actually sense earthquakes before they arrive? Incidentally, it's also why a random talking catfish in A Link to the Past gives you an earthquake spell.
So yeah, Whiscash is an earthquake catfish, and is essentially a catfish that, if it rampages, will cause an earthquake around the pond it lives in, and it's highly territorial... and at the same time able to sense real, non-catfish-created earthquakes (is it because of the giant lizard living underneath Hoenn?). In addition to that, Whiscash also behaves like a real catfish would, swallowing everything in its path. Overall, a pretty neat little catfish pokemon with far more thought put into its lore than you think it'd have.
4/6. #341-342: Corpish & Crawdaunt
- Types: Water [Corpish], Water/Dark [Crawdaunt]
- Japanese names: Heigani, Shizariga
- Categories: Ruffian [Corpish], Rogue [Crawdaunt]
Corpish is a pokemon that I truly like, and my love for Corpish stems from the anime and Ash's hilarious Corpish, but I really do like Corpish's design. As much as I like Krabby, Corpish is what I feel Krabby should've been, somewhat -- very recognizable as a crayfish (not to be confused with lobsters, prawns or crabs). Corpish's origin is unmistakably crustacean, yet he still looks unique enough that you take a look at him and think that he's a crustacean monster, not just a crustacean. I've always loved Cropish's huge goggle-eyes, and the way that his huge claws are connected to his body by way-too-short upper arms. I've always been a fan of his three pointy horns, and the way that the red parts of his body that makes up his head tapers off like a chunk of armour. His legs are really well-drawn too.
Corpish's backstory is even quite cool, with the pokedex noting that Corpish was once imported as pets, but was released into the wild and have grown over-populated in Hoenn, due to its hardiness and ability to live in foul water. While the game and anime don't really do much with this concept, it's a neat way of acknowledging how us humans have essentially fucked up huge chunks of the ecosystem by introducing factors and other species due to our own wants and needs. Corpish's story is actually inspired by a real-life species, the Procambarus clarkii, the Red Swamp Crayfish, which was originally native to Mexico, but imported to Asia, USA and Europe as pets or foodstock, but eventually got released into the wild and its population exploded at the expense of other species of crayfishes.
Corpish is a pure Water-type, which eventually evolves into the mighty Crawdaunt, who, like Sharpedo, is a Water/Dark pokemon. boy, lots of part-Dark Pokemon introduced in this generation, huh? Known as the 'rogue pokemon', Crawdaunt is an ill-mannered 1.1 meter tall crayfish, with an inherently violent nature that forces other species to get the hell away from a Crawdaunt's territory. It's the real-life invasive crayfish's territorialism taken to extremes... except Crawdaunt has a bit too much going on in its design. I do appreciate how it essentially keeps the same eyes as Corpish, but its sunken position in Crawdaunt's eyes makes him look far more sinister, and the elongated upper arms, as well as the transformation of Corpish's arthropodal legs into a pair of stabby shrimpy lower arms and two monster legs gives Crawdaunt a far, far cooler silhouette...
Which is unfortunately ruined by the insane amount of clutter on Crawdaunt's head. Sure, the markings on Crawdaunt's chest (the mouth is actually the top part of that white section) is apparently batesian mimicry to mimic a Sharpedo's open mouth, but the addition of the blue pseudo-lip stripes and the huge yellow star just honestly detracts from Crawdaunt's appearance, and this is probably Ruby/Sapphire's design aesthetic of adding accessories at its worst. On some pokemon like the plus signs on Carvanha and Sharpedo, or the 'W' on Whiscash, or the scars on Seviper and Zangoose, it looks... okay. On Crawdaunt, though, it just kind of detracts from the whole deal, and we don't even get any sort of acknowledgement that Crawdaunt's mimicking a Sharpedo. I don't hate Crawdaunt, but I take a look of Corpish and Crawdaunt side-by-side and am always a bit disappointed at how cluttered Crawdaunt is, and he could've been such a menacing giant lobster-crayfish monster!
5/6. #343-344: Baltoy & Claydol
- Types: Ground/Psychic [both]
- Japanese names: Yajiron, Nendoru
- Categories: Clay Doll [both]
A lot of people apparently don't like Baltoy and Claydol, but I for one find them hilariously fun. Far more wacky versions of psychic pokemon than the likes of Medicham, anyway. Yes, it is somewhat weird that the third generation introduced so many inanimate psychic pokemon, from the Lunatone-Solrock duo to Baltoy and Claydol, but I've always adored these two, and the fact that Baltoys are found in deserts populated by 'ruin maniac' trainers looking for the ruins of an ancient civilization, while Claydols are found on locations like Sky Pillar which is apparently a sacred, hallowed ground to the Hoenn people... I've always found that there's something neatly mystical about Baltoy and Claydol, and neatly, subtly ties in with the legendary golems thematically, even if they don't have anything in common. Baltoy's a little clay doll (heh) that spins around like a top, and definitely looks like a weird little spinning toy. Its always-closed eyes, and its subtle red details, makes it look detailed without being overdesigned the way Crawdaunt up there is.
Of course, Baltoy is living, but filled with mystery. Unlike the likes of Voltorb and Porygon, who appear to be more modern, Baltoy is apparently an artificial Pokemon that was created by an ancient civilization, with the pokedexes noting that these are discovered in ancient ruins, found on murals (similar to Unown?) and when two Baltoys meet they will congregate and converse in their own strange language.
Baltoy's mystery remains unexplained, which is just exactly like their real-life counterpart: the Dogu (or Shakoki-Dogu). The Dogu is a historical artifact discovered and dated to the Joumon period of Japanese history, being elaborately carved little clay figurines, with a version with eyes similar to Baltoy, as well as having decorated abdomens , being particularly common. The function of the Dogu is a mystery, with some scholars speculating that parts of the Dogu might be destroyed intentionally as part of fertility rituals. Their weird appearance has been cited to be some sort of connection to aliens or mystical beings according to conspiracy theorists, and has since been super-popular in Japanese culture. I met Dogu-based creatures before I did Baltoy, in episodes of Doraemon as well as the mighty Shakkoumon from Digimon -- itself being portrayed as a strange idol guardian angel formed from the fusion of an angel and a dinosaur. Baltoy is less fantastical than Shakkoumon, and just depicts itself as the same clay idols like a dogu... just living and possessing psychic powers. Oh, and it's a top, apparently.
Baltoy evolves into Claydol, which just flat-out looks absolutely insane. And Claydol is where the Ruby/Sapphire design aesthetic really shines. The complexity works to bring out the alien-ness of Claydol without looking insanely cluttered, because the moderate amount of clutter works in this design's favour. Its head is filled with eyes, alternating with pupils that are dots and lines. It's got two tiny feet, and two orb-like 'hands' that end with a single point, and on its belly the markings there match the shape of Claydol's floating 'hands', which is all never really explained, but the implication is clear -- Claydol controls his floating hands telekinetically using these runes etched on its belly.
I've always been stricken at how jet-black Claydol is actually supposed to be. Having met Claydol primarily from the games, I was surprised when I saw one in the anime to see that it's main body is purely black as opposed to the lighter gray of the games' sprite, which was something that indicated its sand-caked 'archaeological artifact' theme for me. At the fifth generation, Claydol sprites would be coloured fully black, which I thought was a bit odd.
Claydol's dex entries only note a possible origin, noting that Claydol is said to be 'dolls made of clay by primitive humans and brought to life by a mysterious ray', with its origins and function never really hinted up until the newest dex entry in Ultra Moon, noting that apparently Claydol was modeled after 'something that descended from the sky'. Aliens? Gods? Deoxys? I do love that the pokemon world has a place for honest-to-goodness aliens as well as conspiracy-theorist alien effigies that are actually living. Claydol and Baltoy are a pair of honestly pretty under-appreciated weirdos, and ones that I ended up realizing that I really like while writing this piece.
5/6. #345-346: Lileep & Cradily
- Types: Rock/Grass [both]
- Japanese names: Ririra, Yureidoru
- Categories: Sea Lily [Lileep], Barnacle [Cradily, "Stone Cup" in Japanese]
Oh goody, more fossils! The second generation did not have any new fossils at all, but the third generation returned with a pair of evolutionary lines, and just like Omanyte and Kabuto before them, Lileep and Anorith both depict prehistoric animals that are extremely obscure in pop culture (which are all about dinosaurs and their airborne/sea-borne relatives). I'm always in love at how a significant majority of the fossil pokemon are based on pre-Cambrian invertebrates. Considering that we have regular pokemon like Grovyle and Tyranitar and Lapras based on actual dinosaurs and they're certainly not extinct, I've always loved this side of Pokemon.
Lileep is birthed from a 'root' fossil into a Rock/Grass Pokemon (even though as a kid I always mistook it for Grass/Water... curse my prehistoric-creature-knowledge!), based on the crinoid -- a class of echinoderms, which are actually animals that include the likes of starfish and sea urchins, although, yes, admittedly they do resemble plants from a visual standpoint. And while crinoids exist in the modern day, crinoid fossils date all the way back to the Ordovician era (and are vastly more numerous back then, undergoing a mass extinction in the Triassic era), and many are observed to have what are thought to be flexible arms similar to modern-day crinoids, something that Lileep and Cradily happily adapts. Their grass-typing are an easy reference to the crinoid's more common name: sea lillies.
Lileep mixes the crinoid aesthetic with a bit of anemone or hydra (the real-life animal, not the multi-headed mythical serpent), and while real-life crinoids are plankton-eating filter feeders, Lileep is noted to be a predator. In fact, its strategy of just latching onto the ocean floor and attempting to grab enemies with its tentacles is cited as its reason for extinction. I've always loved Lileep's purple colour scheme, with the central 'head' being just a creepy black mass with two glowing eyes, while the 'stalk' and 'bud' of the flower are decorated with neat yellow markings.
Lileep's evolved form is Cradily and let's get this out of the way -- everyone mistook those two yellow eye markings for Cradily's eyes, and the real glowing yellow eyes as buckteeth, didn't they? Don't lie. I certainly did, for a couple of years, before I realized that Cradily has some fake eyes on that bulb. I've always thought of Cradily to look far more animal-like compared to Lileep, with the tentacles now forming some sort of a neck-crown to a more defined bulb-like head. I've always found Cradily to be awesomely weird, although it does lose a bit of the sheer creepiness of Lileep.
As an added bonus, Lileep and Cradily's shiny forms swap their colours around, leading to a green Lileep and a purple Cradily. Neat! I just love these two a lot. So weird. And Cradily's just one of those really bulky pokemon with a wacky typing and moveset that gave me way more trouble than he should in battles. Love this guy.
6/6. #347-348: Anorith & Armaldo
- Types: Rock/Bug [both]
- Japanese names: Anopusu, Amarudo
- Categories: Old Shrimp [Anorith], Plate [Armaldo]
The Anomalocaris, hailing all the way from the Cambrian era, is one of my favourite prehistoric animals, simply due to how weird it is, and the story behind its paleontological excavation. To make a long story short, the Anomalocaris is such an insane anomaly and such a bizarre creature that no one at that time even imagined that such a design is possible in God's green earth, so the fossils of what should be the main body, the mouth and the claws of the Anomalocaris were thought to be a sponge, a jellyfish and a shrimp respectively, until those three bits keep popping up together... and the discovery was made that this insane creature is actually a thing, some kind of hideous nightmare monster that you'd credit a sci-fi author for creating. Turns out mother nature's just as weird as our wackiest imagination.
So it stands to reason that one of the most bizarre extinct animals is essentially a pokemon. And Anorith doesn't change a whole lot from the real Anomalocaris, beyond giving it a pair of cute googly-eyes and making the main body somewhat more roach-like instead of just a bunch of fins attached to a central thin spine. This is a case of "just an X" design working, because the Anomalocaris is so fucking weird already. Anorith is a Rock/Bug, which... which really threw me for a loop because Anomalocaris is a sea-dwelling creature and I kept misreading this dude as a Rock/Water as a kid. Curse my paleontological knowledge! The dex entries don't really tell us that much about Anorith, though, only that it swam really fast with its eight 'wings'.
Anorith evolves into the likewise Rock/Bug Armaldo, and it's... it's unique. It's just so fucking weird, and it's like trying to make Anorith into a kaiju-like posture, which I can respect. I mean, they did the same thing with Kabutops, turning a trilobite into a bipedal, sickle-legged predator... yet Armaldo loses so much of what made Anorith unique. It's still a badass design, though, with the blues, yellows and blacks working well together, the weird faux-wings and the low-set arms and the dinosaurian legs and tail looking pretty cool. I guess I'm not a big fan of his weird beak-like mouth and the huge nose-like head (although the same thing exists on Anorith's head). But most of all, though, I'm not a big fan of the weird angular eyes... Anorith is so adorable, and they gave Armaldo those ugly eyes? Boo. Still, Armaldo is still pretty fucking cool, and is described as a land-dweller who can deceptively swim fast to hunt for prey. Honestly, a pretty damn cool monster even if it kinda misses what makes the Anomalocaris so unique. Not going to get too many complaints from me, for sure.
5/6. #349-350: Feebas & Milotic
- Types: Water [both]
- Japanese names: Hinbasu, Mirokarosu
- Categories: Fish [Feebas], Tender [Milotic]
I know, I know, it's a rehash of Magikarp and Gyarados. Mimi the Feebas from Pokemon Adventures really stole my heart, though, and I really love how different the storyline and concept behind Feebas and Milotic is compared to Magikarp and Gyarados. See, Magikarp is the most common dumb fish, found everywhere with the Old Rod. Feebas? Feebas is the exact opposite. Sure, it's a shitty fish that looks even uglier than Magikarp, but it's super-rare. So rare, in fact, that it's not just found in a single route with the best Super Rod, but only on four specific tiles. Four tiles that change every day (!), and Feebas only appears like 25% of the time on those tiles? Newer games sadly made Feebas a generic 'rare' encounter, but by god, Feebas was a nightmare to find... and to evolve Feebas? It's not a mere level cap like Gyarados. See, generation three introduced the Pokemon Contests, which are contests of beauty and grace sort of like dog shows, only instead of jumping through hoops and standing proud, the competitors shoot fireballs and generate blizzards. Feebas can only evolve if you max out its 'beauty' stat in the Contest, and by doing so it will transform into the majestic Milotic, the beautiful equivalent to the rage-monster that is Gyarados.
Again, future generations would completely miss the point by making Feebas far more common and evolve to Milotic with a simple trade-with-a-held-item. It's bullshit, I say, and devalues how cool it was for me to obtain Milotic back in the day. I realize that it's impractical to import the 'beauty' requirements, but surely they could've found an alternative that's not as godawfully boring as trade-with-item? Like, something along the lines of maxing out EV's instead of beauty, or friendship evolutions, or something. I dunno.
Feebas works well as the first part of this ugly duckling story, being a godawfully ugly fish without overdoing it, from a pretty unattractive brown coat, to its frayed fins, to its sullen eyes and its weird handle-bar dorsal fin. Every single dex entry makes fun of how shoddy and dumb and how researchers ignore this ugly-ass bass. Hell, even predators leave them alone because of how disgusting they are!
And then, of course, Feebas evolves into the majestic-as-fuck Milotic, which is based on the oarfish. Very roughly so, because the real oarfish is fugly, while Milotic is majestic. From its beautiful hair-arms to the sleek cream body, to the way that its rear half is such a pleasing mosaic of blacks, blues and reds, tapering off into a fan... Milotic's just drop-dead graceful. I honestly still have a hard time processing how one of the prettiest pokemon in the franchise is a fucking eel, but there you go. It's such a beautiful creature, this majestic sea serpent whose entire concept just wins me over. I'm genuinely surprised that they left Milotic a pure Water-type and not added something like, oh, I dunno... Dragon? Fairy? As much as I want Milotic to kick more ass, I really appreciate its simplicity in typing as well. It's not meant to be an uber-sweeper, it's meant to be a pretty fish.
Milotic isn't just a pokemon I like, it's a pokemon I absolutely adore, and, yes, that includes its silly original form of Feebas as well. It would be so easy to make Milotic over-designed, but no -- they hit the perfect spot of adding enough details to make it look gorgeous without making it too busy.
6/6. #351: Castform
- Types: Normal, can transform into Fire, Water or Ice type depending on the weather
- Japanese name: Powarun
- Category: Weather
Castform is a pokemon you'll be given about halfway through the game in a required event, and it's a little weather buddy that really represents one of the over-arching themes of the third generation. Weather. Both Team Magma and Aqua are trying to manipulate the climate. The plot-relevant legendaries, Groudon and Kyogre, maintain a delicate balance between the two extremes of an ocean-evaporating drought and a flood-the-world rainstorm. There are routes that are permanently wreathed in sandstorm or rain, and more abilities and attacks work with the established weather moves from the previous generation.
And Castform is a Normal-type little spirit that can transform into three types: Sunny, Rainy or Snowy, depending on the current weather, and change into a Fire, Water or Ice type respectively. There's a slight oversight that Castform doesn't transform into a 'sandstorm' form, but I suppose he's meant to represent a cloud, and out of the four main weather types, sandstorms don't involve clouds? I guess. It's a shame that for all its gimmickry, Castform's stats and shallow movepool doesn't actually make it appealing to use this dude as a valued member of a proper party.
At least Castform's other forms are neat. The Sunny form simply replaces the head with one that looks like a happy sun (as opposed to Solrock's creepy sun), and actually eschews the boobs for a more generic cloud. The Rainy form does the same, except instead of a sunny head, it has a huge raindrop head. I think the Rainy Castform is my favourite. It just looks so sleek and neat. Snowy Castform has a more intricate design, being a head with a huge swirl and something like an elaborate ice cream cone for its bottom. They are somewhat neat, but that's honestly all Castform ends up being. A neat concept, but one that's honestly ultimately forgettable.
4/6. #352: Kecleon
- Type: Normal
- Japanese names: Kakureon
- Categories: Color Swap
Kecleon's wacky, and an actual chameleon pokemon after Charmeleon had nothing to do with a real chameleon. He's one of the first third-generation pokemon to be revealed, with a green Kecleon and a purple Kecleon having a major role in an episode of the Johto saga. Bizarrely, shiny Kecleon isn't actually purple, despite purple Kecleons playing major roles in the Mystery Dungeon side-games as well as the anime... nope, they just swap out the stomach red band for a blue one. Kecleon's a neat little bipedal chameleon, though. Its face markings are a neat call to a real-life chameleon's weird-looking eyes, and I've always loved its curled tail, its long tongue and the weird vestigial wing-like things on his back. Kecleon's most striking feature is perhaps the weird, clashing chunk of random detail of the red zig-zag band, which I would complain about, just like Crawdaunt's star or Camerupt's blue circles... except Kecleon's band actually does provide a point. You see, Kecleon can blend into his surroundings, just like chameleons do... but he can't change the colour of his zig-zag. Which... which kinda makes Kecleon shittier than its real-life comparison, but I always found the image of a floating red zig-zag moving around as the lizard tries to pretend it's actually invisible to be funny.
Kecleon serves as the 'roadblock' pokemon in the same way that Snorlax and Sudowoodo did in the first two generations, requiring a specific key item to engage it in battle, otherwise it's just an invisible roadblock in your way. Subsequent generations would just use Snorlax as a roadblock, making Kecleon the last member of this sadly-ignored tradition. Kecleon also has the unique ability of Colour Change, allowing it to transform into the same type of the move that last hit it... but its shitty stats and movepool means that it's all but useless. Neat concept and design, though. He's cool.
4/6. #353-354: Shuppet & Banette
- Types: Ghost [both]
- Japanese names: Kagebozu, Jupetta
- Categories: Puppet [Shuppet], Marionette [Banette]
Yeah, the third generation introduced far more ghosts than the first two. After thinking that ghosts are going to be a once-per-generation deal, the third generation gave us a neat influx, with Shuppet and Duskull as the premiere, more common ones. Shuppet and Duskull are neat in that they're sorta-kinda version exclusives, but not really. You see, in Ruby, Duskull is found in multiple routes, while Shuppet is a rare encounter in the top of the ghostly area, Mt. Pyre. On Sapphire, the rarity is reversed. It's a neat way to make the two games feel distinct while not limiting too many pokemon to one game or the other.
Shuppet is a pure Ghost-type, and at first glance, is just a simple bedsheet ghost without any arms. Sure, it's got a more cultural flair to it, with its huge head, the 'horn' and the tapering body being essentially a teru-teru-bozu (Shuppet's Japanese name is straight-up Kage-bozu, Kage meaning shadow)... but this is pokemon, and they made Shuppet so delightfully creepy. It's attracted to jealousy and vindictiveness, and apparently those with negative emotions like those will have a swarm of Shuppets lining up beneath their eaves. It's a weird inversion of that teru-teru-bozu is supposed to be, with the Shuppets attracted to the negative 'weather' of someone's emotions. Always loved Shuppet's eyes, which looks so colourful, managing to be both unsettling and cute at the same time.
Shuppet is a pure Ghost-type, and at first glance, is just a simple bedsheet ghost without any arms. Sure, it's got a more cultural flair to it, with its huge head, the 'horn' and the tapering body being essentially a teru-teru-bozu (Shuppet's Japanese name is straight-up Kage-bozu, Kage meaning shadow)... but this is pokemon, and they made Shuppet so delightfully creepy. It's attracted to jealousy and vindictiveness, and apparently those with negative emotions like those will have a swarm of Shuppets lining up beneath their eaves. It's a weird inversion of that teru-teru-bozu is supposed to be, with the Shuppets attracted to the negative 'weather' of someone's emotions. Always loved Shuppet's eyes, which looks so colourful, managing to be both unsettling and cute at the same time.
Shuppet evolves into the gloriously creepy Banette and... hoo boy, where to begin? Banette's design isn't particularly creepy at first glance, although there's just something insanely unsettling about Banette's eyes. It's bloodshot, its got vertical pupils, and its upper eyelid looks wholly fucked. Its zipper-smile has always been the most striking thing about Banette, cluing us to its real nature as a doll. A voodoo doll. And hoo boy, Banette's so much creepier than a 'well-proportioned Gengar'. See, Pokemon is a franchise that, for all its adult fanbase, is one that's meant for kids. And Banette is the sort of ghost that's crafted to scare kids. You know why? Because it's not a ghost that possesses a doll. It's not a demon from hell. No, it's the plush doll that you, you bastard heartless child, threw away. Or maybe your mommy made you throw away. Or maybe you just misplaced it somewhere. Regardless of what's the cause, Banette is your old doll, transformed by negative energies (maybe Shuppet -- or whatever is under that sheet -- is the force that possesses Banette?) into a vengeful little voodoo doll with an obsession with pain. Oh, and vengeance. To you, the fucker who threw him away. "It seeks the child who disowned it."
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Banette's voodoo doll origins aren't played down either, with multiple entries noting that it will stick pins to its own body to lay strong curses, actually making the always-painful-looking animation of the move Curse so much more unsettling. Apparently, if its zipper-mouth ever opens, its "cursed energy escapes", which means... what? Banette returns into a doll, or does it mean that the ghostly powers contained inside swirls out and attacks you? The whole concept of a discarded toy coming back to life is a neat pastiche of the Japanese yokai myths of tsukumogami as well, where items with strong feelings poured into it can come to life after enough time.
Regardless, Banette is a fucking creepy pokemon that is perhaps the only one that legitimately sends chills down my spine. The reason why Toy Story was so popular was because anyone can sympathize with having toys, giving toys personalities and be sad when you lose a precious toy. But instead of the toy loving you unconditionally... this one becomes a vengeful sadomasochistic voodoo doll that is out for revenge.
All because you lost a doll.
6/6. #355-356: Duskull & Dusclops
- Types: Ghost [both]
- Japanese names: Yomawaru, Samayoru
- Categories: Requiem [Duskull], Beckoning [Dusclops]
And compared to the sheer creep factor that is Banette, it's almost unfair how little I actually have to say about Duskull, who seems almost mundane. It's just a little Poe-like wraith with a cartoon skull-head. Which is honestly still pretty neat, because the designers gave Duskull a single glowing eye that just glowers in-between the two skull eye-holes... but it's kind of mundane, honestly, as far as ghosts go and comparing him to the likes of Sableye, Banette and Shedinja. Nothing wrong with being mundane, though, because Duskull is still pretty dang neat, filling the niche that was empty from Pokemon's collection of spooks -- that of a skeleton monster. Also, not a lot of pre-VI sprites depict it, but Duskull actually has cute little ghost hands that it likes to pose behind its back. Always loved the weird little bone tattoos that Duskull has on his hunchback, too. Overall, Duskull's really, really neat little ghost buddy, and honestly may be my favourite of all the smaller, unevolved ghost-types. It's just so... ghostly, you know?
Duskull evolves into Dusclops, and it's pretty bizarre. While Shuppet and Banette are both vengeance-themed dolls of sort, Dusclops shares none of Duskull's skull or wraith theme, with the only real connecting theme being the single eye, which looks... significantly less cool in Dusclops. I guess there's the three skull-tooth things, too. And don't get me wrong... I really love Dusclops. It's a pokemon that I grew to love thanks to its role in Jirachi: Wish Maker, with its hilarious grabby hands and its unemotional red eye and its cylindrical body giving it such a fun silhouette as an antagonist.
Dusclops is often cited to be a weird cyclops mummy, but its inspiration is a fair bit more specific -- a chochin-obake, a tsukomogami, just like Banette. Except it's a specific type formed out of a discarded paper lantern, and one of the more popular tsukomogamis, often shown with one eye and a long tongue. Dusclops doesn't have a long tongue, but its wrappings, its flame-like hair and its single eye is clear enough. I've never quite understood what those weird tapering... wing-like things (?) are supposed to be, but they're neat. Dusclops is also the exact opposite of what a lantern would be, and I always found it cool that Dusclops' body is completely hollow, with its center being apparently equivalent to a black hole, and Dusclops can absorb anything due to this property. How fucking horrifying is that? It's even got hypnotism abilities in addition to the ability to suck in everything into its body. Dusclops's pretty cool.
Overall, two very, very solid and spooky ghosts, and it's just a shame that their evolution feels kind of forced and somewhat disjointed. Still like them, though.
5/6.
Dusclops is often cited to be a weird cyclops mummy, but its inspiration is a fair bit more specific -- a chochin-obake, a tsukomogami, just like Banette. Except it's a specific type formed out of a discarded paper lantern, and one of the more popular tsukomogamis, often shown with one eye and a long tongue. Dusclops doesn't have a long tongue, but its wrappings, its flame-like hair and its single eye is clear enough. I've never quite understood what those weird tapering... wing-like things (?) are supposed to be, but they're neat. Dusclops is also the exact opposite of what a lantern would be, and I always found it cool that Dusclops' body is completely hollow, with its center being apparently equivalent to a black hole, and Dusclops can absorb anything due to this property. How fucking horrifying is that? It's even got hypnotism abilities in addition to the ability to suck in everything into its body. Dusclops's pretty cool.
Overall, two very, very solid and spooky ghosts, and it's just a shame that their evolution feels kind of forced and somewhat disjointed. Still like them, though.
5/6. 
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