JoJo's Bizarre Adventure S02E30-31 Review: Unfortunate Situations

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, Episodes 30-31: Mariah's Divine Bastet, Pts. 1-2

These two episodes end up being sort of an episode that's tense... but it's not really that tense due to the sheer amount of jokes, but it's not quite as laughs-all-the-time like Oingo/Boingo or the Sun. Bit of a fun episode, really and probably a fun, balanced tone between full-blown action and comedy that I really wished Stardust Crusaders took more often. 

We get a brief check-in with the recovering Kakyoin, and then we get some toilet humour with Joseph going OH MY GOD multiple times at the sight of the desert toilet, before he falls into the trap of touching the enemy stand, Bastet... which takes the form of an electrical outlet manifesting in various places, and then turning anyone it shocks into a human magnet -- and the degree of magnetism depends on how far the target is from Bastet's user, Mariah, the first real anime hot lady we've seen since, oh, I dunno, Part 2's Lisa Lisa, I guess? The anime certainly adds some extra scenes of just following her legs and butt. 

The execution that this is done is... wacky, though. After some of the "ooooh shit what's going on" moments with metallic objects drawn to Joseph, poor Joseph begins to attract undue attention -- first by being mistaken as a pervert by an old lady when his magnetic effects pulls their skirt's metallic buttons, and then when Mariah's metal wires end up dragging him down certain doom in an elevator.  "HELP ME OH MY GOD!" is definitely the right thing to shout out there, because, shit, it's pretty terrifying as he's pulled towards the elevator while being strangled by the wires. I'm not sure why he  acts so embarrassed later on, having a finger chewed up by an elevator is scary enough, let alone being strangled while your entire arm is chewed up.

Also, can we just take a brief break from reviewing and note just how weirdly inventive it is for JJBA to adapt their magnetic powers not to just control metal, Magneto-style, but to straight-up turn people into magnets with a north and south pole? If nothing else, this back end of Stardust Crusaders start to get really wacky with the Stands.

Avdol rescues Joseph by clicking the stop button, and Joseph quickly realizes what's happening to him and tries to track down Mariah, but,  of course, all the metallic objects are starting to be a problem to poor old Joseph. And then it's revealed that Avdol is also a magnet, causing the two end up in... hilariously compromising positions. First the two of them end up going into a ladies' restroom and get chased out for being perverts. And then they start to stick together, and Avdol reveals that he, too, has been affected by Bastet... and then they get a whole sequence of being misunderstood as doing lewd acts in public,  including a bit where Avdol's face is stuck to Joseph's crotch, and later on Avdol's crotch is stuck to Joseph's butt. It's... it's a bit of a dated joke, sure, because making fun of gays is a bit of a dated trope, but god damn, I'd be lying if I said that it isn't funny. Oh, the old lady that thought that Joseph was being 'forward' ends up beating him up for 'lying' to her. 

And then the two of them end up being stuck on a train line, with Avdol not being able to really melt the train tracks without damaging the train and causing a huge crash -- it makes you wonder why Avdol doesn't call out Magician Red earlier when they were chasing Mariah, but then I guess we wouldn't have all the hilarity of the episode. Oh, and there's the magnetic boobs expanding and having a whole ton of nuts and bolts, which is just kind of random. Thanks to Joseph's Hermit Purple using its map-making powers, Joseph and Avdol, with increasingly ridiculous amounts of metallic objects stuck to them, manage to corner Mariah and basically goad her into increasing her powers enough that all the debris on Joseph and Avdol get attracted to each other... with Mariah in between them, crushing the poor lady pretty graphically.

And, you know what? A plan that relies on hammy deception is totally something that Joseph Joestar would do. Anything starring Joseph Joestar is guaranteed to be hilarious with his loud SUNNEDEBEEETCH's and HOREEE SHEEET's, and it's a pretty ingenious plan to get around the magnetism, honestly. It does make you wonder why they didn't just get Jotaro to help out, or what, really, Mariah's final plan is other than somehow hoping "these two get magnetized" and "they die, maybe, if they keep following me", but eh. It's entertaining, I guess. 

Also, the anime adds a bit of clarification on the chronology of this episode and the next, noting that the Alessi fight in the next couple of episodes takes place at the same time that Joseph and Polnareff is fighting Mariah. Neat!  Overall, it's an episode that definitely prioritizes fun despite its more tense moments, and one with more raunchy jokes and sexiness than your average JJBA episode. Not my favourite mini-arc in this anime, but a fun one.  

The JoJo Playlist:

• Mariah, of course, is named after Mariah Carey, famous American singer. You might know some of her biggest hits like Hero, Without You, Touch My Body and All I Want For Christmas is You.