JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Stardust Crusaders, Episodes 42-44: The Desolate Mist, Vanilla Ice, Pts. 1-3
A little note: we reviewed the part of episode 42 that dealt with Terence D'Arby in the previous segment. The 'episode 42' reviewed here involves only the part that revolves around Vanilla Ice.
So after the whole Terence D'Arby stuff, we cut away to another one of Dio's minions, a long-haired man with very questionable fashion choices (even by JoJo standards) called "Vanilla Ice", and I remember snickering very loudly when I first saw this character in the comics. I think the only other musical reference that made me giggle was the fact that one of the Pillar Man is just straight up called AC/DC. Vanilla Ice's introduction is pretty badass, though, as we see him conversing with the otherwise-enigmatic Dio, proving himself to be extremely resolute and fanatical in serving his master slicing off his own head without much of a complaint when Dio demands his blood to help him complete his transformation.
Dio proceeds to revive him with vampire blood, which... it's actually a neat reminder that Dio isn't just some dude with a Stand, he's also still a vampire. We don't see any of his freezing powers or Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, regrettably, in Stardust Crusaders, but his vulnerability to sunlight and his instant-regeneration is definitely going to be a huge part of the fight against him.
And then Vanilla Ice briefly shows off his Stand, "Cream", which... my god, it boggles my mind just how this series manages to make a character called Vanilla Ice Cream so fucking terrifying. See, Cream is a standard creepy-looking stand, just a skull-faced humanoid with no legs. Its powers is pretty powerful sounding -- the ability to send anything it hits into a dimension of void, basically punching holes in reality.
But the way it uses this ability is just so bizarrely out there that Cream honestly gets my vote for being the absolute weirdest stand in Stardust Crusaders. (Anyone who has read Parts 5 through 8 knows that there are a lot of fucking weird shit to come in the future) Cream very gruesomely chomps down on itself, transferring itself and Vanilla Ice himself into the weird void dimension, and then runs around as a ball of negative space. What the hell!
Ice affirms his loyalty and fanaticism to Dio, then goes out of the room to kill the Crusaders, and I think it's an understated moment of comedy when Dio, in all his deadpan, menacing voice, mutters that "you couldn't have used the door, could you."
Speaking of that scene, in something that I double-checked back in the manga... pay attention to the background and you'll see a certain bow and arrow on the wall! That's going to be important in the next Part.
And then we cut away to Polnareff, Avdol and Iggy, who's just wandering around and noting that the area is covered with some sort of illusion, which basically makes up for some of the weirder parts of the confrontation with Terence D'Arby in the previous set of episodes. Avdol's flame radar and Iggy's doggy senses basically has them knock out a dude called Kenny G, who I don't think was even named in the original manga. With the illusion user taken out and the stage set for both Iggy and Avdol being ready to track down any sort of invisible foe, Avdol makes a pact with the other two to make defeating Dio their priority, and they shouldn't stop to rescue anyone else should they fall.
So of course, Vanilla Ice strikes, and Avdol is the first to fall in an act of pushing Polnareff and Iggy away. There's no huge dramatic sacrifice, no prolonged act of defiance, just Avdol realizing that they're under attack, punching Polnareff and Iggy aside, and then getting completely obliterated and killed by Vanilla Ice, leaving naught but his arms.
It's a surprisingly brutal death, and considering the fact that Avdol had "died" once, I genuinely wasn't expecting him to die again, and in such a brutal manner! But while I really wished he had done more in this final arc beyond beating the no-name Kenny G, it's kinda realistic that deaths in a fight between people with superpowers would be sudden and abrupt? I dunno, part of me really likes just how shocking it is and how absolutely horrifying Ice was compared to the previous hammy antagonists that take their time to torment and ham it up, and really makes the utter shock and horror that Polnareff and Iggy felt pretty palpable.
To add insult to injury, Ice shows up and has Cream eat up the rest of Avdol's arms, which I thought was pretty cruel and a neat ending to episode 42. It's a pretty great segue into the second part of the Vanilla Ice arc, as Polnareff, who has had to deal with Avdol's death once, ends up being in full denial mode for the first part of the battle, while Iggy (who sadly doesn't have any sort of monologue throughout the entire arc) is just terrified and caught between running or fighting alongside Polnareff.
And Vanilla Ice's ability to basically just disappear from everyone's senses by disappearing into the void created by Cream is pretty damn horrifying. Polnareff and Iggy just try to run, but Ice can just obliterate anything they put in his path, while the duo are just caught between going straight to attack Dio, or to escape. And as they run around the mansion, we get Vanilla Ice eating through Polnareff's toes, as well as part of his left arm, which is pretty dang horrifying. Basically anything that The Fool and Silver Chariot can do ends up being nullified, or, in Polnareff's case, absolutely fucked up by the sheer power of Vanilla Ice.
We get a cool bit of Iggy creating a sand clone of Dio to attack Vanilla Ice, but Ice sees through this by the fact that, y'know, there's still sunlight in the room, and he goes absolutely berserk in beating up the 'soulless' dog for daring to make him attack an effigy of Dio. It's a pretty damn horrifyingly long scene that feels worse while animated, although at least Iggy isn't just straight-up consumed by Cream. Polnareff ends up using the sand spread by The Fool to basically tell him where the all-consuming void that is Vanilla Ice's stand is moving, and then stab him while he is transforming out of being 'folded up' in his mouth (Ice has to peek out of his Stand's mouth to actually see, which I thought was funny)... but ends up losing the grapple situation as a wound dealt to his leg causes him to push him away.
And then, not resorting to materializing and being attacked, Vanilla Ice just spins around in concentric rings, aiming to pin Polnareff in the middle, and we get a pretty darkly comedic bit of 'multiple choice question' of just how Polnareff and Iggy can escape. Polnareff thinks up of something, Jotaro and company show up as a big damn heroes... or "reality is a cruel mistress". It's a pretty desperate, horrifying last stand, and I remembered reading this in the manga and completely buying that maybe this is Polnareff's last stand, that he might very well die now. "So long, Iggy" is the final scene of episode 43, and implies that Polnareff gets completely consumed by Cream... and maybe it's Iggy that ends up beating Vanilla Ice?
Of course, it isn't, with episode 44 showing that Iggy is a god damned trooper, using the last ounce of his strength to use The Fool to knock Polnareff out of the way, while Polnareff himself is struck with a significant sense of survivor's guilt, noting that he's supposed to be the one trying to save Iggy, not the other way around, and that everyone's dying to save him.
The scene of Iggy's death is pretty sad, too, as both Iggy and The Fool look pretty damn raggedly, and especially considering the antagonism that Iggy and Polnareff had in the series. Again, I kinda wished that Iggy had more to do beyond his one arc with Pet Shop (it's a common criticism I have for anyone in Stardust Crusaders that aren't Joseph, Polnareff and Jotaro, honestly) but this is a goddamn heroic last stand, and the voice acting and music in this scene is pretty damn well done.
Polnareff finally manages to use the rage he feels to deliver a goddamn satisfying beatdown to Vanilla Ice, stabbing him in the head, breaking his neck, and as he kneels down to mourn Iggy (really should've had Avdol flashbacks here too, which I felt was a gross disservice to Avdol's character), Vanilla Ice recovers from his injuries and attacks again... only for Polnareff to unleash another series of goddamn stab barrages onto Vanilla Ice, before exposing him to the sun and burning him off in a pretty cathartic manner.
That's Vanilla Ice down, and I am genuinely impressed at just how utterly terrifying this character is, being a pretty damn awesome threat and a very serviceable penultimate boss before we face off against Dio. And as Vanilla Ice crumbles, the seeming souls of Avdol and Iggy raise up into the sky and seems to give Polnareff one last "yes you can" bit before disappearing, which I thought was cheesy as fuck... but also heartwarming as all hell.
Vanilla Ice ends up being taken out around slightly after the halfway mark of episode 44, though, and the rest of the episode ends up being devoted to Suzi Q visiting Japan and the Joestar butler Roses being confused at just how to break the news to Suzi Q. Turns out that, hey, she survived Part 2, she basically figured things out already and has just been keeping her faith in Joseph and Jotaro. It's a neat little 'calm down' scene, I suppose, in-between the tense Vanilla Ice and Dio fights, but I thought that it kind of lasted a wee bit too long.
We also have a brief scene of "what the other guys are doing", with a minor vampire (zombie?) Nukesaku (meaning literally "idiot") who's left behind by the elite troops Terence, Ice and Kenny for being useless, and apparently his whole gimmick is that he has a second face on his back? It's a neat bit of weird throwback to the vampire themes of Part 1, I guess, and it's another little cooling-down segment between Ice and Dio. The final shot of this episode finally shows the Crusaders (or at least Polnareff) coming face to face with Dio on a staircase, so the tension is still going to continue for the next four episodes!
Overall, the Vanilla Ice segment is definitely not perfect. There are a lot of moments that could've been improved, and we can argue back and forth on whether Avdol's sudden death is great and unexpected, or a misguided attempt that robs Avdol of a potential final moment of Stand badassery. Still, Ice is definitely a pretty dang menacing villain, and it's a nice final villain for Jean-Pierre Polnareff, easily one of the most prominent characters in Stardust Crusaders, to prevail against with the help of his allies' sacrifices. While Polnareff isn't out of the game just yet, we all know that it's going to be the Joestars that will take down Dio.
The JoJo Playlist:
- Vanilla Ice is an American rapper that is best-known for his near-memetic 90's single Ice Ice Baby. His Stand's name is Cream, which is, of course, a pun on ice cream. Vanilla Ice and Kenny G are the only character in Stardust Crusaders to not have a Stand named after a Tarot card, an Egyptian god or a musical reference.
- Kenny G is, of course, a reference to the epic saxophonist of the same name, one of the biggest-selling musicians of the modern era, known for various great songs and covers. My favourite among them might just be his take on Careless Whisper. His Stand's name, which I don't think is mentioned in the anime, is called "Tenore Sax", a reference to a type of saxophone.
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