This time around, I have to find Cyrus' opposite number, and go through a remarkably weirdly simple puzzle of Meowth-eye-beam statues... and face off against Lysandre of Team Flare! He gives me the same button-mashing decision that his weird pasty thug gave me back in XY. Like the other team leaders, Lysandre came from a world where he managed to set off his ultimate weapon, and actually genocide his entire universe with the exception of Team Flare. You crazy holo caster, you.Lysandre asks me if I'm the chosen one, and tells me to press buttons. I press one that activates the Ultimate Weapon (apparently he brings it over to Alola?) and the only way to reach it is to fight him in battle.
Can I just stop this whole let's play and mention just how badass Lysandre's theme song is? Like, the Team Rocket theme song is badass and all, and I always liked the ORAS epic battle theme song, but Lysandre's battle theme is just so damn boss.
And Lysandre actually beat me. I don't think I've been beaten by an NPC character, like, ever! And a good cause of my loss is that goddamned Mienshao. Oh, a Mienshao? Let me Brave Bird that silly fighting-type... wait, the Mienshao outspeeds? And it U-Turns? Into a Honchkrow? Well, shit, that thing's dark-type, I have to swap out and tank an attack. Okay, here's the Mienshao again... oh, it can Fake Out, too? Well, of course it U-turns again. Basically this game of switching back and forth happens until I murder the Pyroar and the Honchkrow, and the Mienshao falls... and Lysandre sends out a Gyarados.
Yeah, I don't have a Pikachu, but no problem. Kabutops can Rock Slide that bitch and take it out. Wait, [the opposing Gyarados' Gyaradosite is reacting to the Key Stone]?! This certainly surprised me far more than the presence of the legendaries. Oh yeah. Mega Gyarados.Of course the XY evil team leader is going to abuse mega evolution. Like, I'm not sure why I didn't see it coming. I guess just because it's because mega evolution has been such a non-entity in the seventh generation? Regardless, rock slide does nothing, and the Gyarados murders my Kabutops with a gigantic waterfall that comes off that, what, base-160 physical attack? Well, shit, my party's kind of in a sorry state due to the Mienshao U-turn bullshit. Let's pull out a Muk, he should resist water and dark type attacks, right? At least I can Z-move the Gyarados and take him out... wait, the Mega Gyarados can Earthquake? Yeah, I'm not living that.
Well, Bewear can Hammer Arm the Mega Gyarados, that'd be super-effective... oh, Mega Gyarados outspeeds my Bewear and waterfall OHKO's it. Of course. I finally pulled out my Decidueye and Sucker Punch, making use of the monstrous mega evolution's humongous attack against itself. One Pokemon left... Yveltal! The God of Death! Come at me, bro.
Yveltal then proceeds to murder everyone in my party. Decidueye could maybe get a Sucker Punch off? No? Laughable damage, as Yveltal unleashes Oblivion Wing (god, that animation is amazing) and one-shots Decidueye. Malamar, maybe you can do something? Oblivion Wing one shot.
Well, it's legendary against legendary. Behold my Necrozma! It's two legendaries in one, and I can transform it into Ultra Necrozma to unleash a massive Power Gem... holy shit, Yveltal just one-shot critical hit'd my Necrozma to the ground with a Shadow Ball.
And I lost!
God damn, Lysandre, I tip my hat to you. You get to unleash the Ultimate Weapon (no it doesn't actually happen). But it's pretty damn amazing. On my second round, I don't make the mistake of dicking around with the Mienshao and just Spirit Shackle it to the ground and murder it, then make short work of the Pyroar and the Honchkrow, and then Mega Gyarados! See, since he's going to mega evolve, I can pre-empt that and have Bewear unleash a fighting-type Z-move and take out... most of the Mega Gyarados's health. Damn, Gyarados is a beast. Mega Gyarados falls, and I don't make the mistake of dicking around with Yveltal. Ultimately Yveltal nearly sweeps my team again, but this time I manage to whittle Yveltal's health down with the strongest moves of each of my team members until Kabutops manages to Rock Slide it to oblivion.
Good show, Lysandre. You're easily the hardest NPC trainer I've fought since... since ever.Okay, Lusamine's mirror-door opens... and who else to stand there but the father of the year, the insane cult leader, leader of PETA and the man dressed as a walking castle, Ghetsis? Kinda wished that they went for the cooler black-eyeball-cloak design from Black 2/White 2, but eh, this is classic Ghetsis. Ghetsis gives this speech about how he's going to make Giovanni king, and a man who acknowledges power and has his own motivations like Giovanni is going to be easier to control than 'a freak without a human heart' or something like that. Man, poor N.
Ghetsis is just insanely an asshole, yeah? He rants for a bit, then the awesome music just ratchets up and this battle just feels so freaking intense. It's a bit of a shame Ghetsis's party is kind of a pushover, though. Cofagrigus gets one-shotted with a single Spirit Shackle. Bewear, by spamming Hammer Arm, gets to one-shot the stupid-looking Bouffalant, the cool Bisharp and even the mighty Hydreigon. Yeah... there's a reason Fighting-types are super-good to have in Generation V playthrough.
Ghetsis has Reshiram in this one, and... it misses Blue Flare like three times, while Bewear spams Rock Slide and knocks it out. Poor thing. Taken out by a teddy bear. Though I guess you can say Reshiram just doesn't acknowledge Ghetsis's truth and ideals? Hee.After Lysandre, Ghetsis is a bit of a cakewalk, isn't he?
And then he goes wild, he knocks Lillie aside and threatens her with his hand and tells me to throw my Pokeballs away. Well, he did try to have Kyurem stab the B2/W2 protagonist with ice spears, so I guess Ghetsis is the most evil out of the team leaders? But the game actually gives me the choice to refuse, because, I dunno. I have Necrozma in my Pokeball -- a bat-god of the moon fused with a strange prism-armour eldritch abomination that have fused together. And Ghetsis has, what? His silly castle cape? I beat your dragon of ideals down, dude.
I did like how Maxie, Archie, Cyrus and Lysandre were introspective and took their defeats in relative stride, but Ghetsis, the jackass, just goes berserk and insane.
And then it's not me who comes to Lillie's rescue, but... COLRESS! Oh shit, he is in this game a lot. We get the anime-esque shot of Colress appearing behind Ghetsis, then teleporting next to me to save Lillie. Apparently he's behind sending Archie and Maxie to their own universe a while back (and apparently it's Necrozma that caused all the evil leaders to pop back here in Alola) and he has an invisbility device and has been shadowing me all along.And Ghetsis rants about how Colress sucks... and then Colress, with the most smug-ass grin on his face, talks about how he's doing what he is doing because... "I absolutely loathe you!" Yeah, you tell him, Colress! And then he just straight-up deletes Ghetsis and sends him back, all with the non-chalant 'yep, I made this device in like ten minutes, no problem, you go beat them up'.
Man, Colress just went from 'yeah, that one scientist dude with funky hair' to 'holy shit, dude's a badass' in five minutes.
And now, the final boss. The original bad guy, the leader of the Pokemon mafia, the man who terrorized Kanto and Johto... Giovanni!
And by god, he's awesome-looking. He beat Lusamine, and he tells us his main plans very calmly. He wants an army of Ultra Beasts to conquer all other worlds. And I don't think he's an alternate-universe Giovanni either, he's just... Giovanni. And once more, he gives me an offer to join Team Rainbow Rocket. Which I would do, one hundred percent, if the game allowed me to. "Calm enough to joke", Giovanni? I'm being fucking serious!
And it's nostalgic as all hell, and I know the fight's pretty much just the Viridian gym battle with a Mewtwo stapled onto it, but shit, man, it's still nostalgic and pretty damn awesome. And the music! The music! I thought they were just going to reuse the Rainbow Rocket theme... and then it spins into an intense piece that I don't think is something that I had ever heard before.
And it's a rematch twenty years in the making, because the last time I actually faced off against Giovanni it's in FireRed (because he's only in DLC content in HG/SS). So yeah, bring it on, mafia man!
Giovanni's party is all level 68 and above, which is honestly where all my team is after facing off against Lysandre and the others. His first Pokemon is a Dugtrio? Well, this has got to be a joke. Dugtrio's going to die to my grass-type starter... oh. Sucker Punch. Right. Decidueye goes to the red, thankfully not KO'd, and first blood goes to me.
Nidoqueen is next, and I send out my Malamar, intent on capitalizing on her poison-type's weakness. And, shit, that Nidoqueen can Surf! That's insane. Malamar psycho-cuts the Nidoqueen down... and the next creature up is Rhyperior! Oh, so he evolved his Rhydon. Neat! Bewear one-shots the Rhyperior with a Hammar Arm. His old ace, Nidoking, comes up... and it faces off against Kabutops. Well, Kanto pokemon against Kanto pokemon, right? Kabutops just spams a Choice Banded Aqua Jet, the Nidoking spams Earthquake... and it ended with a mutual death because my Kabutops took out the Nidoking with 5 health remaining, but after dealing the killing blow he gets poison pointed to death.
The absolute strongest Pokemon, with the highest amount of stats among every single Pokemon... yeah. This is going to be a final boss fight worthy to remember. Malamar gets one-shotted by an aura sphere. I send out my Muk, who manages to crunch Mewtwo twice before being taken out with three aura spheres. Muk doesn't manage to take out Mega Mewtwo, but surviving three special attacks from a Mega Mewtwo Y? Respect to you, Muk. Muk manages to reduce Mewtwo's health to a bit less than half. I send out Bewear, who gets Psystrike'd. I'm... not sure why I switched into Bewear. That was dumb.
Well, Deccidueye has red health, so I guess this is time to fight 750+ base stat legendary with one of my own, right? Come at me, Mewtwo! My Necrozma immediately goes into Ultra Necrozma form, ready to unleash a Ultra Necrozma-powered Shadow Ball... but Mega Mewtwo Y outspeeds me and one-shots Necrozma with an ice beam.
Well, clearly no one fucks with Mewtwo!
Deidueye pops out, and I click on Sucker Punch in desperation... and it... actually... kills. Well. That's intense as all hell.
But I won! I beat all the evil team leaders, and it's actually tough enough to be an accomplishment that I can be proud of. Giovanni laughs, promises vengeance, and then teleports away pretty gracefully, noting that we will 'meet again'. Guzma and Colress show up, Lusamine wakes up... and Faba shows up and tries to save his own ass before running away apologizing. Eat shit, Faba. I'm not sure why they still keep him around as an intern at the end, although that is some neat humbling moment.
And as 'Team RR Episode' draws to a close... we get a shot of Giovanni, teleporting away to unleash his evil schemes on another world, apparently still having some teleportation device to move between worlds. That was pretty fucking dope. That was pretty fucking dope indeed. So yeah. Team RR is the most fun I've had in a Pokemon game in a while, and that kind of really helped me get to like Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon a lot more than I think I really should.
So with that, I think it marks the end of my Ultra Moon playthrough. I may add a tenth episode of epilogue if there is any additional Ultra Beast/Ultra Recon Squad material, but I'm just going to go off and go legendary hunting at this point and try to capture all the new Pokemon from Generation VII that I can (I never managed to get that done back in Sun). So yeah, thanks for reading, and thank you, Nintendo, for a pretty badass final stretch of the journey.
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