Ultimate Spider-Man S01E15-16 Review: Goldfinger

Ultimate Spider-Man, Season 1, Episode 15: For Your Eye Only; Episode 16: Beetle Mania

Episode 15, "For Your Eye Only",  is a fun little love letter to James Bond movies, complete with a little title screen, the whole "James Bond is shooting at you" opener, a scene where Nick Fury is strapped onto a table with a laser coming up towards his crotch, a secretive cabal taking over a government base, an extended sequence showing off wacky gadgets, and even, surprisingly, a teaser for "Dr. Octopussy".

Holy shit, wasn't this aired at Disney? And words like death and kill are censored? But Octopussy isn't? That kind of made my day, actually.

The episode stars Spider-Man almost exclusively, and it's... it's interesting, if repetitive. He arrives at the Helicarrier for some training with Fury, only to find it taken over by Zodiac, this silly terrorist organization where everyone wears an animal mask, led by this dude called Scorpio. After some action scenes and japery, he frees Nick Fury (previously thought dead), fights through the Zodiac goons and takes over the Helicarrier back from them. Oh, and Scorpio is actually revealed to be Nick Fury's brother Max, and that he vows revenge for all the sins that Nick Fury has done to him.

That makes Scoprio the second villain to have personal beef against being betrayed by SHIELD after Taskmaster, and I'm genuinely curious. Are all my complaints about Nick Fury going to prove to be an actual plot point, and Fury's going to be an actual villain (or anti-villain) at the end of this series? We'll see.

The episode itself is overall pretty simplistic. I felt like the whole gadgetry sequence to be a bit too long, and I think it's obvious that it's there to sell some merchandise. But overall, while there's nothing much to praise about this one (Fury is so damn static of a character) it's still a fun romp both from an action and a comedy standpoint. Jokes that worked in this episode: Looney Tunes Spider-Man, "I am Nick Fury", and some (but not all) "this ain't my first rodeo" moments. Jokes that didn't work in this episode: the pass-me-down coffee maker or whatever it is and basically everything after the third "ain't my first rodeo" moments.

Episode 16, "Beetle Mania", is another Mary Jane episode, and it's...  it's okay? After a new supervillain Beetle shows up in New York, J. Jonah Jameson basically taunts Beetle in his usual bombastic way. Except, y'know, Beetle is a straight-up villain that hangs out with MODOK and Dr. Doom every other weekend, and not ultimately a mild-mannered teenager like Spider-Man. So it falls upon Spider-Man and his sidekicks to stop Beetle from murdering Jameson.

But the kicker? MJ is going to get an interview with Jameson at the Daily Bugle in the same day! Not let's not get into a discussion about how utterly unsafe this is, and how technically Mary Jane (and everyone in that building) can sue Jameson to bankruptcy for putting them in harm's way -- while Jameson himself is not actually in the same building as them, as the final scene reveals. The episode not-so-cleverly attempts to hide this, because apparently Jameson's communicating to everyone via Skype or some shit, but hey, let's kind of ignore that.

The actual attempts by Peter and his buddies to stop Mary Jane from getting into the building is kind of hilarious, as much as they really should've just shut down the building and order an evacuation the moment Beetle starts blowing shit up. Mary Jane ends up forfeiting the chance to get the internship... only to... say that she's going to try again next summer? Huh? I'm genuinely not sure. For all of MJ's talk about reforming the Daily Bugle, considering how disgusting Jameson's behaved in this episode, why did she want to consider coming back? And if she's intending to revamp the Bugle, why not just accept the internship position then and there and try to revamp the Bugle as an intern? Honestly, nothing about MJ's character arc really makes sense, and they don't do anything interesting with her character in order to keep the status quo of MJ wanting to become a journalist intact. They could've had her be trapped in a journalist's job where everyone hates her friend Spider-Man. They could've had her get worried about Peter getting injured during the whole Beetle fight. It's genuinely puzzling, but this is basically a rehash of that Hulk episode, as far as MJ's story arc is concerned. She gets thrown into danger, proves herself kind of a survivor, but then refuses to associate with the Bugle while re-affirming her desire to join the Bugle. What?


Hell, even that final bit where MJ rips out the cord of Jameson's television should've been a far more cathartic or triumphant moment if we're going on the mentality of "Mary Jane chooses her friendship with Spider-Man over a lucrative but potentially soul-sucking career" or whatever. But it's not done with any sort of real meaning to it, leading me to just kind of shrug. The whole MJ plot really feels like it should've gone through the editing room a couple more times.

Also, even though they went through all the trouble of hiring J.K. Simmons to reprise his role as JJJ...  it's basically wasted here, isn't it? Jeez. Give the man a bigger role!

Meanwhile, the actual superhero fighting between the Junior Avengers against Beetle is... it's pretty awesome! Beetle himself actually doesn't speak for a vast majority of his scenes (he gets like, one line, I think?), giving him an actually pretty badass coldness that makes him stand out compared to other filler villains in this show. Throw in some genuinely badass robot suit animations that are clearly meant to kill (and would have, if his targets aren't superheroes), and it's actually pretty awesome.

Overall, another one that feels kind of filler-y. Both of these episodes are not particularly horrid in any way, but just kind of mediocre and forgettable.