More Alvarez. Except it's a lot worse than the ones before. The Gajeel "death" and Neinhart were at least entertaining. This is just dumb.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 491: Mother and Child.
Gajeel meets Ziera for the most boring 'wacky hijinks' moment. Very, very long introdump which is honestly unnecessary. We got enough context clues, and just plug in "read Fairy Tail Zero for the whole story!" This is unnecessary, and just having her have a line of "hey, I'm Mavis's friend, and I'm a ghost brought to life by Tenrou Island." Because that makes jack shit sense, but okay whatever.
The A-team Fairy Tail members regroup with each other so what was the fucking point of splitting them apart in the first place? At least we didn't have to make an entire arc about it like what we got during post-timeskip. Eileen beats up the soldiers in the palace off-screen and turns Hisui into a mouse then creates a giant eyeball in the sky to see Erza.
The non-A-Team Fairy Tail members are fighting mooks, plus Sun and Luna or whatever Eileen's little loli assassin squad are called. Ziera sends out a telepathic message to everyone from Fairy Tail telling them to gather somewhere, and apparently they're just mindless goldfish that will follow an unfamiliar voice that tells them to do something as long as it involves protecting a Fairy Tail member? Jeez, Fairy Tail members are more brainless than I thought. Couldn't the conversation start with "I am an ally, a founding member of Fairy Tail" or some shit? Sometimes it's hard to take the manga seriously when the author clearly doesn't.
Where is Acnologia in all this? Some dragon of apocalypse of unbeatable power you are, when you don't even react to all of this.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 492: Sisters
Gajeel's voice gets the (already happy to go, honestly) Fairy Tail members going for their location, while Eileen's loli squad does the hentai fanservice pack to Lisanna and Mirajane, with sticky liquid and some bondage. Mirajane transforms into a demon and blows the two of them up, but apparently they are strong. We get a short fight, building up the loli assassins, but Mirajane transforms into an Allegria form... which is her channeling the power of Tartaros's demon fortress. That... actually makes sense, and a new power up -- Mirajane whacks the two dumbasses into the ground face-first in an honestly cool fight scene. Oh, and the loli twins were actually sword with personalities. Then Eileen shows up behind Mirajane. Am I worried about Mirajane? Nah.
We get Yukino and Angel meeting each other, and Yukino recognizes Angel as her sister. Elfman goes whuuuuuh and let's be honest here. Has Elfman ever actually talked to either Yukino or Angel? Does he even care? Is the audience even surprised at all, honestly? Whatever.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 493: Dragneel, the White
More hentai torture fanservice with Eileen tying Mirajane up and using acid to melt her clothes. The author gets off on torture, does he? Torture and prepubescent girls, if all the questionable Wendy/Mavis/Ziera artwork are anything to go by. Between all that he keeps doing to Erza in the Tartaros arc and this one... August and Brandish show up, and August orders and demands Eileen that the Spriggan need to gather at Zeref's side. Apparently Eileen respects August enough, even though their power levels are apparently equal? Eileen is like Erza's mother, so Plot Device Deus Ex Machina flows through her veins, so I bet she's stronger.
August shoots Mirajane in the heart with a magic bullet, dropping her to the ground in what they assumed to be a mercy kill, but of course this doesn't kill her. At no point while reading the chapter did I really thought Mirajane died. I mean, this is a manga that pussied out of killing fucking Bacchus, so yeah. So of course in this very chapter Lisanna discovers Mirajane alive, with the laser bullet being shrunken down to a tiny size by Brandish... who goes with August and Eileen anyway.
Some long speech between Angel and Yukino, about how Angel refuses to be called Yukino's older sister until she atones for her sins? I don't care -- they have been absent from the plot for years now, unless you count Yukino hanging out as Sting's secretary-slash-shipping-fuel as being relevant... but man, this totally came out of nowhere, took up a crapton of space in the whole Eileen Zeref Mavis Mirajane Ziera Gajeel thing.
Rahkeid Dragneel apparently is the final member of the Spriggan 12, he's got a big cross shuriken on his back and he's like a zen Natsu or some shit. His power is apparently to make people have such powerful orgasms they ascend to heaven or something? Rakheid rescues Dimaria, in any case.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 494: The Hill Extending Towards Tomorrow
Mavis meets up with Zeref, but after a brief talk Mavis gets frozen by Invel, a.k.a. every cool-no-nonsense anime dude with glasses. Invel is smart, talking about how Zeref is sentimental and they need to move fast to achieve their goal. Invel lets go of Mavis physically, but restrains her mind with some weird chain things. Zeref lets Mavis see a gigantic army... which we already saw before, and if Sabertooth mooks can beat up these soldiers, well, they mean jack shit. I mean, who is impressed with an army of soldiers who are worth less than paper? In Fairy Tail land even more so than any other fictional world, if you don't have a name and you're generic, you ain't worth jack shit.
The Spriggan 12 are gathered together... and honestly, after how shittily he lost, does anyone even think that Jacob Lessio, Mr. Ultra-Virgin-Never-Saw-A-Boob, is a threat? Fuck, man, Jacob you get my vote as worst villain of all fiction ever. Fuck off. Oh, and Neinhart can conjure the undead spirits of Braddman, Walricht and God Serena, who are shits that have already lost... if he can bring back the image of anything, why don't he just make an army of Zerefs and Eileens? Useless shit, that Neinhart. The other Spriggan are still somewhat entertaining, thankfully. Azir is still crazy and shit, Dimaria hugs Brandish and swears vengeance against Fairy Tail in the name of Brandish... August, Eileen and Rakheid are oh-so-powerful but will totally be defeated with friendship speeches...
Eileen uses her plot device breaking powers to remove Fairy Heart from within Mavis. We get a two-page spread of Zeref and the Spriggan (at least five of whom are non-threats), and we get three long pages of Fairy Tail members waking up that is so necessary to draw and commit to paper.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 495: Hungry as Hell
Five pages of random pep talk of 'yeah we gon take back out guild'. Eight pages of Fairy Tail members using some same old boring skills to take out entire waves of soldiers. What did I tell you, none of these shits matter.
God Serena launches a swarm of Chinese dragons that... blast his own troops? Man, no one gives the troops any respect, least of all me. Serena launches random dragon magic. Natsu eats one, but none of the others even look like they're damaging the Fairy Tail members. Oh, and Gildarts just showed up. God Serena's going to be one-shotted. Yeah. Fuck off, God Serena. You're a shitty excuse of a villain... you clearly are here just to be worfed.
Wow, what a boring-ass chapter.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 496: Forward
Gildarts clashes with God Serena and we have several pages of nonsense talking about how Serena is weaker in zombie form and people reacting to Gildarts' arrival, and Wendy being scared of an army of faceless troops (really, Wendy, where have you been for the last 40 chapters or so? These things are just stuff to help extend the manga longer). Azir shows up and summons a sandstorm and fight Elfman and Lisanna -- wow, what a downgrade! Earlier this arc we needed the entire A-team to take him on. Mirajane shows what an utterly fucking moronic excuse of a villain Jacob is by whacking him in the face -- not even in demon form -- and making him be shit at the sight of cleavage. Rogue and Minerva try to be relevant and engage Braddman and Walricht... yeah, some Fairy Tail member will bail you two out. Angel is kya-kya-ing over the Sabertooth members for no reason.
Gildarts one-shots God Serena in a two-page spread because fuck Serena, he's a shitty villain, we get a two-page spread of the Fairy Tail members running, and then something something Romeo. I don't care?
Fairy Tail, Chapter 497: Winter Mage
Eileen tells Zeref to rid himself of his naivety while she extracts Mavis's Fairy Heart while the poor girl is suffering and immobilized by Invel's magic. Zeref leaves Mavis behind to be tortured by Eileen, though I'm sure force of love and friendship will prevail, because this is Fairy Tail. Eileen tells Neinhart (another shitty member of the Spriggan) to bugger off and fight Erza herself, despite Neinhart himself noting that Historia didn't matter against Erza's power of plot armour. Though he's caught between defying Eileen and fighting Erza, so, yeah, poor dude.
Four pages of random troops being knocked around, a small montage of the lesser Spriggan fools facing off against B-list characters. Natsu's flames get frozen, then Natsu and everyone else other than Gray gets frozen. Invel arrives and blasts Gray with ice... and apparently, y'know, Invel is the only thing keeping Mavis's mind in check and stopping her from escaping or doing anything. So of course, like a human being with a properly functioning brain, he walks out into the battlefield, where there is a chance of him being defeated. Oh, and of course Gray gets to fight another ice mage. How absolutely boring and predictable.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 498: Gray vs Invel
How do you 'freeze and shatter' that which is already frozen? What an utterly dumb line of dialogue. Gray shows off his Ice Devil Slayer magic, Invel shows off his own magic, then goes on this rant about how Gray's heart is tainted by evil and tries to bring him over to the dark side. This is Fairy Tail, so the argument is simple, and the rejection is simple. Zero tension. Natsu breaks out of the fire because plot armour.
Invel chains Gray and Juvia together with a spell that forces them to fight each other to the death, and Invel plans to awake the darkness withing Gray. Juvia's prepared to kill herself. Is anyone actually shocked and filled with tension at anything that's going on here? None of them will die. Or even get seriously injured. Nobody's relationship will even change, which is something that could be put on a line.
Wow, Fairy Tail is definitely entertaining in how moronic the actions of some of the characters take. I'm sorry. Fairy Tail has definitely hit a new low of inanity and banality and repetition. It's became hilarious and readable only to poke fun at. Can't say that I didn't enjoy myself picking these few chapters apart, though.
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