Fairy Tail, Chapter 480: The Northern Gravestone
Brandish gets locked up and is super-passive and apparently given up about the whole cause she was fighting for not a couple of hours ago, while Fairy Tail cares more about rebuilding their guild in the middle of a war. Priorities, people. Some people talk big about August as the end-all-be-all of magic oooh the readers are so impressed.
Mavis tries to make Cana be relevant again -- though poor lady hasn't been relevant since the revelation that she's Gildarts's daughter, filler arcs aside -- and Mavis talks about how Fairy Heart and her body (ahem) is what Zeref is really after. Mavis gives this long speech about her strategems (that never make sense) now involve removing her body from the lachryma, because that has been obviously what's going to happen the moment we saw Mavis's body frozen in the crystal. Mavis tells Cana to attack her thought projection with Fairy Glitter, and apparently Cana drank one too many beers, because she freaks out at the idea of attacking hologram-ghost Mavis.
Fairy Tail Team B, which is Gajeel, the Strausses and Levy, meet an army of Alvarez soldiers that hold the bodies of Pegasus and Sabertooth members crucified. It would be... something far, far more impactful if any single one of them was dead. Or, y'know, this is shonen, so maybe brainwashed? Imprisoned in their kingdom? Nah, they're just paraded and obviously alive, and the only real harm done to them is that the soldiers are ogling the women -- not even touching. Just ogling. Yeah. These few pages fell absolutely flat at conveying any sense of hatred. I mean, maybe if we had one of the Spriggan stand around mocking Fairy Tail we'd be more pissed, but this is just blah.
Meanwhile, Erza, Jellal and Kagura are assaulted by... Shimon, the long-dead person who's one of the few people in Fairy Tail who stayed dead. Brought to life by one of the Spriggan, Neinhart, and his power of Historia.
This honestly is one of the better chapters in that nothing in it -- Cana's outburst aside -- actually insults my intelligence, and I imagine some people might actually be shocked by the page of the crucified Pegasi and Sabertooth members.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 481: Historia of Corpses
Neinhart reveals that his power, Historia, brings to life emotions from people's hearts... which sounds awesome and shit, but apparently all he can bring back are dead people? Who act and behave like they do? It's kind of like Edo Tensei, I guess, except, y'know, worse. We get to see a couple older faces, though, reminding the audience of a time where Fairy Tail wasn't afraid to kill minor supporting characters, giving the story a sense of weight instead of just showing crucified, slightly dirty, BDSM-fetish Sabertooth people.
We get to see Ikaruga, Kyouka and Azuma fight Erza... and honestly, does anyone find this fight interesting? It's not as bad as some Erza fights, but it's just the bad guys launching attacks at Erza, when you know that the lady is indestructible and protected with so many layers of plot armour. Some, again, tension-less moment of conflict as Kagura debates whether to save Jellal -- even though we've bled the whole Kagura/Jellal thing to death.
More interesting is seeing other dead people come to life -- Ur fighting Gray and Lyon (no Deliora, though? Shame), Zancrow fighting Meredy, Keith fighting Juvia, Ezel fighting Wendy, Hades fighting Laxus... Hades vs Laxus, and Ur vs the ice boys would have been helluva lot more interesting than anything that goes on the Erza side of things, but these are just reduced to just a small montage and nothing else. Oh, and Kagura gives Jellal CPR.
Shippers, take note: CPR is not at all romantic. Have you ever given CPR? No? Have you ever seen CPR? No? It's dirty. It's filled with spit and phlegm and desperation and coughing and pumping ribs and lifeless bodies waggling around. It's not at all romantic.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 482: Vigor
More fighting against the Historia undead, which is somewhat entertaining mostly because it doesn't feature anything I really hated. We get a pretty nice moment with Gray, Lyon and Ur, but the other fights are just a montage of 'I am surprised you are back from the dead!'
We get some banal 'oh no Erza is thrown around and kinda bloodied' which is 100% a repeat of every single fight Erza has been in since anything after Edolas. Oh, and throw in a panty-ass shot while you're in it. And a full-page bondage scene. How can I take Erza seriously when the author doesn't even respect her enough to treat her as an actual character and not a plot-device-slash-fanservice-fuel? We get some bullshit 'Because it's Erza' justification for the spirits just being one-shotted by Erza's Haki. Except Haki doesn't exist here so it's not a logical explanation beyond the author just wants Erza to look badass, but has the plotting sense of a six-year-old boy. This is almost as dumb as the original Erza/Kyouka because-she's-Erza moment, really... just less dumb because I was already expecting Erza to plot armour her way out of this.
Oh yeah and Jellal is angry. And Neinhart is all 'scarlet hair? Oh noes, it's lady Eileen's...' which is absolutely obvious that Erza is related in some way to one of the yet-unnamed Spriggan members. Because apparently only Erza's family have red hair in this world.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 483: Seven Stars
This one is mostly entertaining, if only to see the montage of undead Historia characters being defeated. Jellal goes berserk and is about to summon some meteors and shit. Kagura moves on and slices the fake Simon, and Jellal calls a meteor swarm down, finally landing Grand Chariot and using it to defeat someone for the first time ever.
But not kill Neinhart, that would be insane! I mean, it's not like Jellal is the strongest mage this side of dragonslayers, and it's not like he's gone berserk over seeing his beloved get brutalized, and it's not like we didn't have a couple of chapters focusing on characters who died... no, Neinhart survives magical meteors summoned from the twisting nether? Okay then.
Juvia and Meredy use Meredy's Maguilty Link magic to do Unison Raid to take out Zancrow and Keith -- which actually makes sense, good on the author for finally doing something that makes sense, is not repeated, justifies the return of a non-FT character and doesn't feel shoehorned in! After a slightly-longer-than-needed speech, Gray tells Lyon to grow some balls and start moving forward. Charle gets a very needlessly tear-filled blah blah moment and flies Wendy in to Dragon Force murder Ezel again (Sherria is completely useless without her magic there, isn't she). Laxus gets the most underwhelming rant against Hades and knocks his head in... remember when Hades was cool? This is the second time he's been brought back, and the second time he's been disposed like gum under your shoe.
Some bullshit Natsu and Makarov arguing, then Brandish reveals that the strongest woman among the Spriggan 12 is Eileen Belserion, the Scarlet Despair. Who is obviously Erza's mother. Also she's wandering around an icy land dressed like a cheap hooker with gigantic floofy hair. I don't like her already.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 484: Monster Six
Yeah, defeat a single member of the Spriggan 12 and then spend half of a chapter celebrating. Good use of page time there, Fairy Tail. Some meaningless dialogue I didn't bother to read. Kagura kisses Erza, which is just meant to be one of those 'oh, those wacky Fairy Tail people' moments that I have absolutely no reaction to. Moving on. Sherria cries, because her magic was the sole casualty of the entire battle. Poor kid. Brandish wants to negotiate with August due to her debt with Lucy, though we had some utterly long bullshit of them talking around and around it. You can be quirky yet be economical, yeah? I mean, other manga can do it. Why waste like three or four pages on this conversation?
Eileen continues to walk and talk to... obnoxious hyperactive anime girl and generic badass ninja girl. Sun and Luna. I mean, I think they have longer names but fuck that, I'd rather memorize the contents of my toothpaste. Eileen is just a boring villain, isn't she? The chapter tries to build up her air of mystery but she's obviously Erza's mother and very very powerful and powered with Deus Ex Machina.
Team Gajeel rescue Sabertooth and whatever. Sting realizes that he is pathetic... which, considering his track record, is not inaccurate. When has Sabertooth ever do anything of importance? Like seriously. They're shit dragonslayers, for all they're built up for they always get one-shotted or soloed by everyone else, and they don't even make good cannon fodder. Meanwhile Team Gajeel faces off against the remaining Spriggan members.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 485: Five Days Worth of Food
Natsu, Lucy and Happy accompany Brandish to negotiate with August. I want to ask what idiot in Fairy Tail would let Natsu of all people accompany a negotiation, but then, y'know, this is Fairy Tail. Doranbolt is treated like a paranoid worrywart for, y'know, actually noting that Brandish is supposed to be a prisoner and whatever nakama bullshit she has with Lucy, she has been their enemy until some hours ago. Only in this retarded world do people do a 180 so quickly, though, so Doranbolt might be better served migrating to a saner manga.
Giant Happy. Which is actually one of Fairy Tail's attempts at jokes that actually got a 'heh' from me. Considering the ratio of hits and misses, though, it's still abysmal.
Oh, Cana and Mavis! Totally forgot they are relevant. Cana proves to be useless in using Fairy Glitter, we get a recap of Ziera from Fairy Tail Zero and a pep talk, some talk about Ziera being in her heart and whatever. Again, it's so long and unwieldy and fuck, one and a half page is enough and would be more impactful. Gajeel and the Strausses blow up a bunch of generic mooks. Yukino slaps Sting for being shit and tells him to grow some balls. The Sabertooth get a "rousing" speech of "badassery". When their badassery involves them just blowing up a bunch of faceless mooks... yeah. Shut up and defeat a Spriggan member or one of their officials, you incompetent fools. Honestly, just an arc ago Sting and Rogue were at least holding Mard Geer back even if they are several pegs below the likes of Natsu. Minerva was a legitimate threat back during the Tartaros arc, and so was Rufus. What are they now? What is the point of having those insane memory make magic and the thirteenth zodiac gate if you're going to be irrelevant fodder?
Anyway, it's not like Sting and Rogue will end up actually avenging the fall of their guild, which would at least make them marginally relevant. Nah, it has to be Gajeel, who takes on the 'Reaper', Braddman, who only ends up killing faceless people. Honestly. The little flashback to Gajeel doing the same thing to Levy, Jet and Droy in the past is a nice touch -- this is how you do meaningful character moments, not... not whatever you did for the past five chapters. But Sabertooth is honestly irrelevant if they're not going to follow up their moment of flat character development with anything.
Yeah, defeat a single member of the Spriggan 12 and then spend half of a chapter celebrating. Good use of page time there, Fairy Tail. Some meaningless dialogue I didn't bother to read. Kagura kisses Erza, which is just meant to be one of those 'oh, those wacky Fairy Tail people' moments that I have absolutely no reaction to. Moving on. Sherria cries, because her magic was the sole casualty of the entire battle. Poor kid. Brandish wants to negotiate with August due to her debt with Lucy, though we had some utterly long bullshit of them talking around and around it. You can be quirky yet be economical, yeah? I mean, other manga can do it. Why waste like three or four pages on this conversation?
Eileen continues to walk and talk to... obnoxious hyperactive anime girl and generic badass ninja girl. Sun and Luna. I mean, I think they have longer names but fuck that, I'd rather memorize the contents of my toothpaste. Eileen is just a boring villain, isn't she? The chapter tries to build up her air of mystery but she's obviously Erza's mother and very very powerful and powered with Deus Ex Machina.
Team Gajeel rescue Sabertooth and whatever. Sting realizes that he is pathetic... which, considering his track record, is not inaccurate. When has Sabertooth ever do anything of importance? Like seriously. They're shit dragonslayers, for all they're built up for they always get one-shotted or soloed by everyone else, and they don't even make good cannon fodder. Meanwhile Team Gajeel faces off against the remaining Spriggan members.
Fairy Tail, Chapter 485: Five Days Worth of Food
Natsu, Lucy and Happy accompany Brandish to negotiate with August. I want to ask what idiot in Fairy Tail would let Natsu of all people accompany a negotiation, but then, y'know, this is Fairy Tail. Doranbolt is treated like a paranoid worrywart for, y'know, actually noting that Brandish is supposed to be a prisoner and whatever nakama bullshit she has with Lucy, she has been their enemy until some hours ago. Only in this retarded world do people do a 180 so quickly, though, so Doranbolt might be better served migrating to a saner manga.
Giant Happy. Which is actually one of Fairy Tail's attempts at jokes that actually got a 'heh' from me. Considering the ratio of hits and misses, though, it's still abysmal.
Oh, Cana and Mavis! Totally forgot they are relevant. Cana proves to be useless in using Fairy Glitter, we get a recap of Ziera from Fairy Tail Zero and a pep talk, some talk about Ziera being in her heart and whatever. Again, it's so long and unwieldy and fuck, one and a half page is enough and would be more impactful. Gajeel and the Strausses blow up a bunch of generic mooks. Yukino slaps Sting for being shit and tells him to grow some balls. The Sabertooth get a "rousing" speech of "badassery". When their badassery involves them just blowing up a bunch of faceless mooks... yeah. Shut up and defeat a Spriggan member or one of their officials, you incompetent fools. Honestly, just an arc ago Sting and Rogue were at least holding Mard Geer back even if they are several pegs below the likes of Natsu. Minerva was a legitimate threat back during the Tartaros arc, and so was Rufus. What are they now? What is the point of having those insane memory make magic and the thirteenth zodiac gate if you're going to be irrelevant fodder?
Anyway, it's not like Sting and Rogue will end up actually avenging the fall of their guild, which would at least make them marginally relevant. Nah, it has to be Gajeel, who takes on the 'Reaper', Braddman, who only ends up killing faceless people. Honestly. The little flashback to Gajeel doing the same thing to Levy, Jet and Droy in the past is a nice touch -- this is how you do meaningful character moments, not... not whatever you did for the past five chapters. But Sabertooth is honestly irrelevant if they're not going to follow up their moment of flat character development with anything.
...
Wow, that was shit, wasn't it? Neinhart's mini-arc had some cool moments but ultimately it was undone by the most underwhelming ERZAAAA climax. Some meaningless repetition of dialogue, Kagura's story was whatever, Brandish as a submissive little defector is utterly uninspiring and banal, and I'm not sure why Sabertooth is in it. I get that the author is trying to tie up some loose ends with lesser characters, but the execution is just so bad when it's Fairy Tail members that's going to fix and take care of everything.
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