Hearthstone: More Jade Lotus [Card Review]

So, a couple of hours after I finished typing up this batch of cards, they revealed the whole Gadgetzan set in one of those 'get Frodan to play decks without knowing what's in them' things, which is always hilarious. But that's going to be a huge, huge article, so have the rest of the Jade Lotus cards -- apparently these are all we're getting in terms of Jade Golem synergy.

• Virmen Sensei: The Virmen Sensei (who has received a massive redesign to be a cool rabbit-man instead of WoW's Virmen design: a rat with rabbit ears) is featured very prominently in the trailer and I honestly half-expected him to be a legendary card or a new character. But it's just a Druid minion. The Virmen Sensei is a 5-mana 4/5, which is one mana cost worse than his actual cost, and he gives a friendly beast +2/+2... more Beast Druid synergy which I honestly didn't expect at all. Obviously comparable to the Hunters' Houndmaster, which gives Taunt in addition to the buff. Houndmaster's got slightly worse stats, but Houndmaster also costs a whole mana point cheaper. Virmen Sensei also has even more things going against him in that a typical Beast Druid already plays Druid of the Claw, Menagerie Warden and Stranglethorn Tiger on turn 5, all of which are far more powerful than Virmen Sensei. I guess it's another option for Druids to buff beasts, but I dunno. This feels like too weak of a card.

  

  ...why does a fish-man even need a boat?

• Gadgetzan Ferryman: Okay, so this card got a huge crapton of flak from the community, who marked it as the next Purify. I actually had a version of this review that I typed up before I saw the community feedback, but didn't publish because I wanted to wait for the huge card dump on monday. And the Ferryman is honestly not that bad! Unlike Purify, which is almost always bad unless in a very specific situation in a very specific deck, or the Toxic Sewer Ooze that is strictly worse than the Acidic Swamp Ooze, the Gadgetzan Ferryman is arguably a card I'd rather have in my deck than the Youthful Brewmaster. It's a 2-mana 2/3, basically vanilla stats, with a Combo that is basically the Brewmaster effect. Yes, it's weird that sometimes the value of a card lies in its effect not activating... but flexibility is a good thing that the two Brewmasters don't have, and if this was a neutral card it would definitely go in all my Reno decks. (Shame that the Ferryman is in the Jade Lotus and not the Kabal). It's another effect available to Rogues that recycles cards like the two Brewmasters, the Shadowcaster, Gang Up and Vanish... is it a good card? Definitely no. Is it a BAD card? Also definitely no. It's a perfectly fine card and I think the community is being ridiculously harsh on him.
• Daring Reporter: A 4-mana 3/3 that gains +1/+1 each time your opponent draws a card. So your opponent faces a 4/4, and it's got some nice artwork! The reporter has been hinted multiple times as a recurring character in the Gadgetzan news reports that's been popping around the community, and it's nice to have her in card form. She's an anti-draw tool, and one that's meant to punish card draw engines. Coming out at turn 4 means she's right on time to intercept those Nourishes and Azure Drakes, and she's especially powerful against Mages' Arcane Intellect and Rogues' Gadgetzan Auctioneer combos. But will she see play as a tech card? She's certainly a lot better than the Hogriders, and while a +1/+1 buff isn't as strong as the Burgly Bully's free coin gimmick, it's still pretty cool, and if nothing else forces a removal from your opponent.
• Shadow Sensei: Another Klaxxi, yay! A Rogue 4-mana 4/4 that gives a Stealth minion +2/+2. This was what everyone was expecting, something that buffs Stealthed minions. Suddenly Jade Assassin, Jade Swarmer, Shaku the Collector and the neutral Finja become somewhat more appealing... but hopefully the Shadow Sensei isn't the only one Stealth buffer. As a 4-mana 4/4 that grants a +2/+2 buff, Shadow Sensei is... okay. It's easier to keep Stealthed minions alive, obviously, but there are better things Rogue can do on turn four than buffing stuff. In theory you get a total of 12 stats for four mana, which is a lot more economical compared to the Virmen Sensei up there. Rogues definitely need more cards like this to really compete with the sheer power that the other classes are getting, and the Sensei certainly looks to be a step in the right direction. But since we're not getting any other Stealth support cards ,well, this will end up being like TGT-era Beast Druid, where there are decent tools available but there's nowhere enough to really make a deck. 
• Jade Claws: Shaman 2-mana 2/2 weapon that summons a Jade Golem as a battlecry. It probably will simply just be swapped out for Spirit Claws in Jade Golem oriented decks. It's a weaker Fiery War Axe -- if we take the overload 1 as cancelling out the Jade Golem advantage -- but it allows Shaman to snowball with Jade Golem as early as turn 2, and the Jade Claws looks to be a lot more reliable and less fragile than the Rogues' Jade Swarmer. 

  

  4-mana 7/7? 0-mana 5/5?
  Yeah, Shamans. We see you.

• White Eyes: Aya Blackpaw's bodyguard from the trailers and preview material, White-Eyes the huge, silent warrior (who might or might not be just a Jade Statue?) is the legendary for Shamans. White Eyes is a 5-mana 5/5 Taunt... that shuffles 'the Storm Guardian' into your deck as a Deathrattle. It's a good thing that it's a Deathrattle, to be honest, because the Storm Guardian? He's a 5-mana 10/10 with Taunt. Goodbye, 4-mana-7/7 and 0-mana-5/5-Taunt, Shamans have a new super-efficient super-statted minion to play with! It's very great value, and it's balanced, too. I don't think you put this into the already oppressive midrange Shaman deck, because it's a much slower card. And 5-mana for 5/5 with Taunt is barely better than the (horrible) Booty Bay Bodyguard, so White Eyes' base body kind of sucks. This is definitely a powerful card, though. Like Elise, sooner or later you draw into the card shuffled into your deck and then BOOM! Your enemy is forced to bring out an answer to the Storm Guardian. Even if the Storm Guardian himself ends up eating like a Hex or Shadow Word: Death, that's still a removal you force out of your opponent. It's not as good or consistent as the Flamewreathed Faceless, which are two 4-mana 7/7's in your deck from the get-go... you have to draw White Eyes and have him die (without him being entombed, hexed, polymorphed, devolved, earth shocked etc) before the 5-mana 10/10 taunt gets shuffled into your deck. So it's balanced, I think, and nowhere as insanely powerful as it appears to be. 
• Sergeant Sally: Sally is a police gnome! She's not a very good police gnome if the amount of criminals in Gadgetzan is in any indication -- and apparently she's a super devil-may-care ultra-reckless 'use the bad guys' superweapons against them' type of crazy cop. But she's got fancy alarm shoulder-pads. That counts for something, right? She's a 3-mana 1/1 with the deathrattle of dealing her attack damage as AoE... but her 1/1 body makes her a bit of a weak thing. I mean, you get an arcane explosion as a deathrattle to a 3-mana minion, but like Abomination or Chillmaw, she's not that good because the enemy can trigger the Deathrattle. You could buff Sally up with Grimy Goon cards, but I don't think that's the way to play her since that'll make her hard to kill off yourself. You could buff her up with Cold Bloods and Abusive Sergeants and run her into something to set off a massive 3-mana AoE, or use things like Ysera's Nightmare or Power Overwhelming -- since she's going to die if those cards are used on her, why not buff her up and deal some huge damage, and then burn the board? I dunno. It's a bit too gimmicky to really see play in my opinion, though, even if a neutral board-clear is pretty good... but definitely a very interesting card. Absolutely love the cameos in the wanted posters, though. Annoy-o-tron, Edwin Van Cleef, Boom Bot, Swashburglar, Deathwing, Possessed Villager, a random Murloc and... BEN BRODE! That made me laugh.