Pokemon Top Tens: Pokemon Typing Misconceptions

Still haven't had time to play Sun and Moon, but hey, let's have a short little Pokemon Top Ten.

You know, sometimes you see a Pokemon for the first time. In the game, in the anime, in the manga, just a picture in the internet or something like that. And then you go, 'huh, obviously it's X-type', and then you look it up and you're absolutely bamboozled that it's not what you thought. I mean, there's the obvious, Mr. "I'm a tree but I'm actually a rock" Sudowoodo, who I don't think anyone ever thought was a pure-Rock when you first saw him... but he's meant to screw you over. But there are a couple of others that I wanna share. Ever had that happen to you? Here are ten that I find somewhat hard to keep track even now, two decades into the franchise's life.

10. Lugia: Let's start with the obvious one. No, not Gyarados or Charizard -- Gyarados doesn't make it into the list simply because of how long he's been around, while Charizard not being Dragon is practically a meme. Lugia, though? I still have trouble remembering that Lugia is Psychic/Flying, mostly because I own official trading cards of Lugia that depict him as Water-type. Lugia's big debut in Pokemon 2000 shows him living underwater, basically being this mysterious submerged dragon-beast that rises up in giant whirlpool-tornadoes. The loading screen for Pokemon Silver, the game Lugia is a mascot of, has Lugia swimming through water. He's even got blue highlights that kind of imply that he's a water-type. And in every single depiction Lugia has been in -- comic, cartoon, games, spin-off games -- Lugia has been shown in watery habitats, encountered in the very, very water-based Whirl Islands in his debut generation, and then in areas such as the bottom of Navel Rock (to contrast with Ho-Oh being encountered on the top), within Sea Mauville in ORAS, and in the Ranger and Mystery Dungeon spinoff games Lugia is even found in ocean-based areas. I wouldn't complain so much if Lugia was Dragon/Flying or Ice/Flying, because those two would make some kind of sense... but Psychic? Is it simply to not give Lugia an inherent advantage against Ho-Oh? Is it to keep Psychic as one of the most powerful types to follow in Mewtwo's footsteps (which was the only reason why I thought Lugia was Psychic as a kid -- every 'movie' Pokemon had to be Psychic, the most powerful type)? No. Despite Lugia's habitat and every single Pokedex entry focusing on how he's the guardian of the seas, associated with seas and storms and whatever... he's Psychic and not Water type.

9. Basculin: Aha, an angry-looking piranha! We've seen this before, with Carvanha. He's obviously Water/Dark, right? He's an evil-looking angry fish (how is this thing a bass) so he either is Water/Dark, or a pure Water that will evolve into a Water/Dark type... except he's just pure Water. And he doesn't have an evolution. And he's like everywhere in Unova's waters, a true representation of an infestation. And he's utterly shit and worthless. I'm... not a big fan of Basculin. 

8. Gligar and Gliscor: Gligar is a scorpion with wings! Scorpions are, like, bugs, right? So Bug/Flying? No, wait, scorpions are known for their poisonous stingers, and Bug/Flying is kind of a boring type. So maybe Poison/Flying? Um... Ground/Flying? Where on hell in Gligar's design does it scream 'ground'? He's a cross between a scorpion and a bat, and even if you're bringing up the 'obviously he's inspired by a gargoyle' argument (no, he's obviously a scorpion with wings) that would make him Rock, not Ground. Honestly for being such an old Pokemon, hailing all the way from the second generation, you'd think I would memorize Gligar's typing by now. And I do. Mostly because it doesn't make a god damned lick of sense.

7. Psyduck and Golduck: No, this list isn't going to be fully about the newer Pokemon whose typings I haven't memorized. See, it's about misconceptions, and Psyduck and Golduck are ones that I still forget aren't Water/Psychic sometimes even now. It's a huge part of the anime, how Psyduck has this reservoir of psychic powers that he accesses if his headaches get really bad. And his name is literally PSYduck. Golduck is depicted in TCG artwork as shooting beams from that gem on his forehead, and look at Golduck! He just looks like a badass duck, and both Starmie and Slowbro are Water/Psychic, so why can't Golduck be Water/Psychic? But no. They are just pure Water types who happen to learn confusion. Boo.

6. Petilil and Whimsicott: Grass/Flying, right? I mean, they're flying cotton balls, and Jumpluff has conditioned me to see anything grass-y that floats in the air to be Grass/Flying. It only makes sense. Hell, Whimsicott even learns Hurricane and a bunch of Flying-moves! I genuinely believed that it was Grass/Flying all the way up until Generation VI and the Fairy-type showed up, and Whimsicott was one of those who received the new Fairy typing. And I was like, "man, Whimsicott's already dual-type, why not give Fairy to his other-game counterpart Liligant?" But it turns out that Whimsicott was pure-Grass throughout Generation V. They might just be anticipating Fairy coming out in Generation VI, but man, that was a big moment of realization for me. Especially since I actually had a run through Black 2 with a Whimsicott in my party and I've always treated it as a Grass/Flying.

5. Drapion: Drapion is cool. He's an angry, evil scorpion, and my logic for Gligar still stands. He's a giant evil scorpion, so he's definitely Bug/Poison, right? Oh, he's evil. Bug/Dark, surely? But I never went Poison/Dark, mainly because of how much more arachnid Drapion looks compared to the more bat-like Gligar. Drapion is Poison/Dark, which is a lot more sensible than Gligar's Ground/Flying, but Drapion has an extra layer of confusion because his pre-evolution, Skorupi, is actually Bug/Poison.

4. Huntail and Gorebyss: Okay, this one didn't last for that long, but it was a bit surprising when I discovered that Huntail and Gorebyss are both pure-Water instead of Water/Dark and Water/Psychic. See, Eevee has conditioned me to believe that alternate evolutions generally have different typings, and Huntail and Gorebyss look so wildly different from each other that I thought, well, of course they have different typings, right? Huntail sort of looks somewhat evil, and he learns all sorts of Dark-type moves like Crunch and Bite. Gorebyss actually learns Psychic in addition to a bunch of other Psychic-type moves, which is a lot less commonly found on non-Psychic Pokemon. And to make things even more confusing, Pokemon Ranger games had Huntail and Gorebyss use Dark and Psychic type Poke-Assists instead of Water-type. But nope, both of them are pure Water-types. It's honestly a bit of a shame, because it would actually make Huntail and Gorebyss somewhat interesting because as of now they're definitely among the Pokemon that's been kind of forgotten.

3. Flabebe, Floette, Florges: Grass/Fairy. Come on, how the fuck are these guys not Grass/Fairy? Flabebe and Floette are just holding the flower, I know, but Florges is literally a flower princess more fabulous than Liligant and Bellossom. Florges should be Fairy/Grass if not the other two, and it would've been grand, how Flabebe eventually fuses with the flower she loves so much. Hell, Florges even learns a fair amount of Grass-type moves! But no. She's just a pure Fairy. I get that they needed some pure Fairy-type lines to help represent the typing, but Florges is just so blatantly part-Grass that it's weird thinking that he's pure-Fairy.

2. Girafarig, Pyroar, Sawsbuck, Heliolisk, Meloetta, plus a bunch of Gen VII dudes...: Originally, this list was just Girafarig, but then I realized that, hey, there's a lot of Pokemon that I forget have 'Normal' attached to their typings for no reason. I mean, Normal-type is basically animal-type. Anything that's an animal and doesn't have an element associated with them? Raticate's a rat, Stantler's a deer, Persian's a cat, Furret's a ferret, Chansey's an egg, Furfrou's a dog... Normal types for everyone! And for the most time, Pokemon's consistent on making animals with elements... well, that very element. Ponyta's a fire horse, so she's Fire-type. Zebstrika's a lightning zebra, he's Electric-type. Pancham is a kung fu panda, he's a Fighting-type. Mightyena is an evil hyena, he's a Dark-type.

And then there are these assholes. What makes Sawsbuck Normal/Grass, and not just pure-Grass like, say, Gogoat? (Who I actually had to check if Gogoat was Normal/Grass, just because of this kind of nonsense) What makes Pyroar Normal/Fire? Is a Fire lion somehow more... 'normal' than Rapidash, Arcanine, Ninetales, Flareon, Magmar and Slugma? And is Girafarig somehow more 'normal' than the likes of Wobbufett, Alakazam or Gothitelle? Dude, you've got a head growing out of your ass, and you're a psychic giraffe. Nothing about you is normal. Heliolisk, too. He's a lizard, big whoop, why is he a normal-type? Raichu's an electric mouse and he's just pure Electric. Manectric's an electric dog and he's pure Electric. The thing is, slapping Normal on these Pokemon for no reason just makes it hard to remember because, guess what, it doesn't make sense. It's not like Diggersby or Bibarel, who start off in their base stages as pure-Normals that gain an element when they evolve. No. These four lines are just weird shits who have Normal slapped onto them for no real reason. And Generation VII adds a couple more of these stupid type combinations, like Drampa, Bewear and Oranguru. It's annoying. All it gives the Pokemon is additional weakness to Fighting and possible immunity to Ghost... which just, again, adds nothing to either the lore or the gameplay.

You notice I don't talk about Meloetta. She's just listed there. I just don't wanna. Don't like her.


Honorable Mentions:

• Gyarados: Water/Dragon. Ironically, I never had any trouble with Charizard, who I knew was Fire/Flying from the get-go. But I always thought Gyarados was Water/Dragon, or at least pure Water. Definitely not Water/Flying... mostly because Water/Flying is a typing that still doesn't make a lick of sense on Gyarados. Have you ever seen a Gyarados fly? I mean, yeah, he's based on Asian dragons (see that? Dragons) and whatnot, but in all his fictional depictions Gyarados has always been depicted as aquatic, never floating above the ground. Turning him into Water/Dark would be perfect (plus gets rid of his allergy to Electricity), but Nintendo only managed to do it via Mega Evolution. It's one that I caught on pretty quickly around Generation II, and that's literally the only reason Gyarados is not on the list, but it's still a typing I still find weird.
• Rhyhorn/Rhydon/Rhyperior: Either pure Rock or pure Ground. Rock and Ground are sometimes hard to tell apart, especially in the first Generation. I mostly got it correct, though, as time went along. Dugtrio, Sandslash and Marowak are all pure-Ground. Nidoking and Nidoqueen are Ground/Poison. Onix and Golem are Rock/Ground. The fossils are all part-Rock (used to think Omastar was pure-Water, though). But Rhyhorn, Rhydon and by extension Rhyperior? I always either think of them as pure-Rock, or pure-Ground, depending on the day, but never Rock/Ground. Rhyperior sometimes I think of as Ground/Steel, because that typing's pretty popular and Rhyperior does have a steel drill. But no, they're all Rock/Ground. Huh.
• Jynx: Pure Psychic. Where does the ice bit even come from? If it wasn't for the Pokemon Adventures comic very memorably starring a villainous Jynx as one of Lolerei's main Pokemon, I would still have trouble remembering Jynx's typing until now. 
• Groudon: Yeah, I thought Groudon was Fire-type for... quite some time. Ruby was the last of the three Hoenn games I played, so I spent a long time mucking around with Kyogre and Rayquaza before finally catching a Groudon and was like "WAIT HE IS A GROUND TYPE WHAT THE FUCK?" I mean, I'm a kid and I'm like, yeah, fire fights water, and Kyogre is a huge whale-beast that summons the rain. And he's water-type. Groudon is a big dinosaur that summons the sun, so he's naturally fire-type, right? I mean, Sunny Day powers up Fire moves, not Ground moves. And I've always associated lava with fire more than ground. In restrospect I really should've realized that Groudon has, y'know, five-sixths of the word 'Ground' in his name. And that raising landmasses is controlling Ground, not Fire. Groudon is the only Pokemon on this list whose type was corrected permanently in my head, but, man, when the Generation III remakes showed up and Primal Groudon is announced... to change his type into Ground/Fire, I laughed my ass off for a solid minute.
• Stunfisk: Oh, it's obvious! This little derp is Water/Ground! He's a flounder, and he's brown, and if Quagsire and Marshtomp are any indication, Nintendo loves making derpy-looking Water/Ground Pokemon. Let's check his typing... Ground/Electric? Whaaaat? Okay, I get it, so they're mixing the flounder thing with an electric eel or ray or something, and changed his habitat from the deep ocean into hiding in the mud. So I guess it kinda makes sense? I mean, shit, he's a fish. But I guess it's appropriate, considering just how goofy Stunfisk looks that he has a typing that doesn't make sense.
• Dedenne: Pure Electric. No real reason. Dedenne's just a hamster. There's nothing really fairy-esque about him any more than Pachirisu or Pikachu.
• Goomy: Dragon/Water. Come on, dude's a slug. How is he a dragon? I love Goomy, and I love the meme that Goomy is a dragon while Charizard isn't, but seriously. He's a little cute blob. He shouldn't be a dragon until he becomes Goodra (whose dragon-typing I won't argue). And despite learning a crapton of water-type moves and other slug/snail Pokemon being either Water or Bug, Goomy and Sliggoo are just... pure dragon.
• Inkay: Like Goomy, I'm not debating the typing of Malamar, who actually does look evil enough to be Dark-type, and both Inkay and Malamar's whole topsy-turvy thing does fit their psychic typing. But Inkay is a squid. And a very cute one at that. Why can't Inkay be Water/Psychic or pure Psychic that gains the Dark typing upon evolution? I just felt it didn't make sense. 
• Tangela: Grass/Poison instead of pure-Grass, but only because literally every single other Grass type in Generation I was Grass/Poison.
• Jirachi: Up until I had a Jirachi card while collecting them during the height of 3rd Gen, I always thought Jirachi was a pure-Psychic like Mew. Nothing about him really screams 'Steel'.

1. Palkia (and a little bit of Dialga): Dragon... something. Jeez. These two I really have some trouble remembering the typings of, because, well, the Dragon part is obvious, but the secondary typing? Fuck if I can remember. Giratina's the evil undead dracolich, so his Ghost/Dragon typing is obvious (besides, I love love love Giratina so). Other draconic mascots aren't that hard either. Kyurem's already part-ice as part of his design, so yeah. Zekrom has a turbine up his ass, and Reshiram's tail glow red, so those two are somewhat easy to remember as well. But Dialga and Palkia? Dialga is Steel/Dragon because... time is... steel-y? Some people make the argument that clocks are made up of steel, to which I present the counter-argument that hourglasses contain sand, so that leads to time being associated with the Ground-type. Palkia is Water/Dragon because... um... shit, Dialga at least looks like he has got steel plates on him. Palkia is Water/Dragon... because... the ocean is vast? That the ocean is ever-changing like space? Well, so is fire, arguably. And so is the air, so why not part-Flying?

There's an alternate theory that the typings match the games that these two are the mascots of. If the reason that Dialga is part-Steel is because Steel is hard like Diamond, and Palkia is part-Water because Pearls are made in water, then it's the dumbest fucking reason I've ever heard of, mainly because... Dialga isn't a diamond Pokemon. Diancie is a diamond Pokemon. Dialga is a dragon of time. Palkia isn't a pearl Pokemon either, that's Clamperl. Palkia is a dragon of space. You don't see Ho-Oh and Lugia being part-Steel just because they're the mascots of Pokemon Gold and Silver, right? Even if they wanted to make Palkia part-Water for whatever weird reason, why is his design has nothing at all that points to this? Dialga has steel pieces randomly scattered on his body, and Giratina has big shadowy wings, but Palkia looks, well, like a pure Dragon. Or Psychic/Dragon, if you're going by colour scheme. I dunno. There have been other Legendary Pokemon with questionable typings, but their depictions in the anime or comics kind of make you go 'eeeh I see where they're going with this'. Like Lugia, Mr. #10, at least you could argue that the psychic powers allow it to create those giant whirlpool hurricanes and storms, and it just likes hanging out near the water. Heatran is Fire/Steel instead of Fire/Rock because he's supposed to represent molten slag. The Musketeers are part-Fighting because they're a warrior clan. Zygarde is a dragon because he's a shapeshifting mass of cells, which honestly would let you get away with claiming any type.

And the designs, unlike Zekrom and Reshiram (who don't really scream 'Electric dragon' and 'Fire dragon' either, but still have enough elements to clue you in, like the giant motor turbine and the fire-shaped feathers) Palkia isn't in any hurry to make their typings evident. Again, Dialga is a bit better due to his darker colour scheme and the armour plates, but Palkia is a gigantic pink godzilla with weirdly-splayed hands. But as much as I love Palkia, his typing makes no sense.